Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAM | Best Motivational Speeches

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Life isn't what happens to you. Life is what you do about what happens to you. This podcast episode is a reminder that you have much more control over your life than you think you do.  

Often, you can't change the way of things. And by things, I'm not referring to the day-to-day. I'm not referring to your goals and aspirations, how you spend your time, or who you spend it with. No, I'm referring to the big picture, larger than life cosmic truths. The unavoidable reality that things will happen beyond your control. That things come and they go.

that as much as we want to understand it all, life in actuality is comprised of unknowns and inconsistencies. What you can change, though, is the meaning of those occurrences. You can change how you view them and what you become in their presence, and that, as it turns out, is an almost incomprehensible strength. See, nothing is so futile. is trying to push over a mountain with your bare hand. Growth requires that you climb it or go around it,

or even when life permits through it. But to stubbornly stand in place outstretched arms, hoping that Newton was incorrect and waiting for that 10,000-foot pile of rocks to budge, well, that doesn't be favors. And actually, it needs Einstein's definition of insanity, right, where one does the same thing. over and over and over, expecting different results. And look, I've spent many a days knocking on doors that weren't meant to be opened.

And when I finally did pull it together and walk away, it wasn't because I quit, at least not in the traditional sense. It was the opposite. It was because I found the strength to continue, right? The courage to look around and find a way forward, not defeat, but a decision. to grow wings, to level up. Because I'll tell you, it's easy when one isn't paying attention to be pulled into the depths of irrationality by their pride. A place where many people stay and knock forever, hoping that one day they'll wake up and that door will open or that mountain will move.

No, winning requires adjusting. It requires intricate paths. paths and side entrances. It requires innovation. And when life says no, it's not a no to you, it's in reference to the door you are standing in front of. I think maturing is depersonalizing the do not enter sides. They are not about you. They are a call to growth. We often can't change the way of things. But we can change. ourselves and the paths we walk and that means just as much. In fact, one of my favorite ideas is that there is no failure.

Failure in that sense, in that sense, it gives too much power to externalities. It says, oh, the world said no. Then I guess the journey ends here. It says, oh, this door is locked. Then I guess forget about what would have been had it been open. No, as long as you are moving forward. forward, looking for a way through, you have not failed. Which means failure only occurs when one decides that it does.

When one looks around and says, no thanks. There are no more doors here worth knocking on. No more paths worth taking, I'm done, right? That is failure. That is quitting. And the world does not mail you that notice. that doesn't arrive from any externality, that is self-generated. That is a letter from you to you.

Because if you're willing, the world will keep conforming. And if you keep seeking that unlocked door, you will ultimately find one. And this is why we have to explore. It's why we need to push against life. Because whether we realize it or not, we dictate more than we could possibly imagine. You know how many of my locked doors brought me somewhere better? You know how many of my valleys of despair were admission tickets to breathtaking views? You are not where you land.

You are where you choose to go from that point. You're not what you are given. You are what you do with what you are given. So don't fight the way of things. That mountain will not be moving. But the beauty is in the fact that you don't need it to. You can still conquer it. You can still get everything you need.

By placing not hope in the mountain for a miracle, but trust in yourself to find a way. Lock doors, they only stop those who lack the courage and vision to move on to the next. But that's not you. and therefore the locks won't keep you out, they'll make you stronger, they'll broaden your horizons, and the mountains won't keep you grounded, they'll prompt you to climb higher and farther than you ever have. We often can't change the way of things, but the way of things can't hold a candle to the strength you possess as you navigate them. There has a half, to come a time when it's now or never.

Well, you look at your reflection and realize that the cost of waiting is far more expensive than the cost of stepping out into the vast unknown. In every journey, that's when life effectively starts. But here's why this is so tricky. What's caught me off guard so many times in my life, it's the many shapes that are waiting takes. See, waiting is not always sitting there and doing nothing, not at all. Sometimes, waiting is just the bare minimum. It's moving forward so slightly and so slowly that you can essentially trick yourself into thinking that you're progressing, into thinking you're making it

happen. When, if you really stopped and looked, if you were honest, with yourself. If you really took a second to review, to analyze, you'd see that you're leaving almost everything on the table. You're not creating progress. You're dancing with the idea of progress. Sometimes waiting can mean just going fast enough to not have to look at the fear you're hiding behind.

That's reality. I think it's a very normal thing. but I also think life is too short for normalcy. I think we can do better than normal. And I believe with all my heart and soul that the world has for us the spectacular. Sitting there on the top shelf, waiting for those who can acquire the self-belief

and the awareness to reach out and grab it. In how crazy a thought. To realize that we could have been, sitting next to the very thing we've needed for days, months, years, but never taught ourselves to extend our hands and reach. When I look back the most important moments in my life, we're not tangible acquisition and see the flashy things that try and capture our attention, right, the money, the condos, even social media growth, business growth, whatever it is you're working towards.

Those things are wonderful. They are benchmarks that hopefully align with your North Star, but they are not the difference makers. Not at all, right? They were the byproduct of what really mattered. They weren't the moments that moved the needle. My greatest moments were mental shifts, cognitive transformations.

That's why I do this for a living. I see how much can change when we step back and look at life just a little differently. It was my realizing that I was demanding too little of myself, that the world won't see greatness in me until I see it in me. That shift that pushed me to demand more of myself. Seek bigger challenges, value my work to a greater extent, charge more for my services.

And that mental shift is what made some of those externalities possible. it's realizing that if you want it, more is on the table. That yesterday doesn't define you. That it's never too late to begin again. That everything you need you have, right? These are the ideas that truly change lives. They make the difference. And if we don't become aware of these things,

we leave them in the rear view. We walk right by them. In other words, The most important moments of my life were when someone or something shook me and effectively said, hey, look around you. If this is what you want, fine, enjoy. But for your information, there is more out there. And if you step up just a little, if you do just a little more, if you pivot and come at this thing a little bit differently, you will further that reach.

You'll create another ripple effect that will transform your life. But we must stop and look around. A good friend of mine, and this is just the other day, right? We're having lunch. We're talking about marketing, and we always joke that marketing is just a part of the business that I don't particularly enjoy, right? Necessary, but not my favorite. And we're going through kind of different strategies.

ideas, and he presents one, and I say something like, eh, you know, I don't need to do that. It seems a little over the top. And unfiltered, he goes, man, you're hurting your reach. Like, what good is that metaphorical restaurant that's not on anyone's radar? You're going to be the best pizza shop that no one knows about. And it just kind of hit me, right? It's like, man, I needed to see that differently. Maybe there's room to be a little more aggressive.

Again, one example of many, and not every time is the idea or opportunity the right one or necessary one. Right? But at least you stopped. At least you thought about it. At least you contrasted where you are with the potential upside of doing something differently. That is where we leave opportunity on the table. You know, we most often, myself included, paint regret as this, uh, the result of this blatant walking away from something.

A deliberate declaration. Sort of a, oh no, I'm not doing that, no way. And sure, sometimes that's the case. Sometimes we're cognizant of our fear and decline to move forward. But I wonder how often our neglect or refusal is softer, more subtle. I wonder how much of our regret comes from simply not stopping and looking around. not letting in alternative points of view that challenge us and forces to level up.

How much of our regret comes from simply not understanding how short life is and how quickly time passes us by. And if we don't create some abrupt change in our day to day, if we don't manufacture some momentum in our lives, even when it feels least ideal to do so, So, the ship we needed to be on will sail away without us. So think back to your hardest days. Even the ones that took you out, that brought you to your knees, and realized that you survived

every single one of them. You have, for years, been acquiring the armor piece by piece, to move into something bigger. You've been learning, you've been evolving, but today what about sitting down with yourself and having the discussion you don't want to have but need to have? What about asking if it's time to leap where you once stepped, to run where you once walked, what about taking a good look around and asking why you're living in ways that don't serve you? you're conceding so much of what matters. Again, the evolution you want and need is there.

It's always there, and that's the key takeaway here. It will always exist. But the question is, will your commitment to stop, to think, and to reach for it be there? Years from now, looking back, I think we'll find that our willingness to ask those questions It's mattered more than we could have ever imagined. That silence often implies the lack of adversity needed to evolve. Because the reality you want, it doesn't come to you. You must go to it.

And that means re-approaching today's normalcy and comfort, seeing those things for what they are, a continuation of the status quo. Nothing changes until you change. So take a look around, examine those pillars holding up your worldview. Not once, but over and over again. And if one, many, or all of them must be knocked down, then so be it. The point here is that you can build. The point here is that life happens on your terms, whether you realize it or not.

That doing nothing is accepting what things are. It's a head nod and a thumbs up to reality as is. So again, ask yourself what you want out of life. And if you are missing that mark, tear down what must be torn down. It might be hard now. It might hurt now. It might be uncomfortable now. But when you're eventually standing upon an existence that aligns with who you are and what you want,

you'll see how necessary it all was. how it was there the whole time. And thank God you found it within yourself to reach out and take it. At night, the sky becomes visible. The darkness, the muting out of everything else allows the stars to finally shine through, to make their presence known.

And during the day, conversely, one cannot see those stars, but the world around him on the ground becomes illuminated. It's a push and pull that seems to work perfectly. And I think there's something poetic about the partnership existing between the big picture goal and the small steps required to bring it to life. As one of my favorite sayings goes, keeping your head in the clouds and your feet on the ground.

Because here's what's interesting. If one were to only look up at the goal, she'd be consistently reminding herself of the ideal without taking the necessary steps to get there. And if one were to only look down at her feet, well, her steps would eventually become aimless. And it's that duality, right? The need to both reassure yourself you can see the stars,

as well as use the world around you to pull yourself, pull yourself closer to them that changes things. It's that beautiful dance that has to be maintained. And this is a balancing act that has certainly been challenging. Sometimes the pendulum swings way too far one way, sometimes way too far the other. But in a perfect world, you want it gravitating towards the center. I remember just starting the YouTube channel,

almost a decade ago, having, you know, big multi-million subscriber goals, but completely lacking the systems and everyday practices in place that would walk me towards that finish line. I mean, sure, something's better than nothing. I was working and learning, but the actions simply didn't align with the objective. I had to correct them. And then I've been on the other end as well. But I'd be doing things every day without knowing why.

All steps, no goal. That sort of thing occurs when routine takes on a life of its own. You start doing things because, well, it's what I do. It's what I've always done. This is when one has to look in the mirror and ask the difficult questions. And look, anytime I can squeeze the complexities down into the simple, I try and do that. So with that in mind, my questioning goes like this. What do you want?

Know the answer? Okay, good. Next question, is what you're doing taking you closer every day to what you want? Asking that question in a serious way takes a spotlight to one's world. Using my previous metaphor, it shuts the lights off so the North Star becomes visible. And then, right, turns them back on to ask yourself if you're using your resources to move there. And I've become pretty good at asking myself this question consistently. and still I find things that don't belong,

that sort of, you know, they hide in plain view. I have faith that I'll end up exactly where I need to be. But that faith is rooted in my commitment to continually assess, to scrutinize, and adjust. There's very little hope and a substantial amount of trust in my ability to continue forward. There's an idea referred to as the Stockdale Paradox,

which states, and this is the first definition I grabbed from Google here, you must never confuse faith that you'll prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. That's where the tough love thing comes in. Be your biggest fan, Because no one will believe in you unless you do.

It all starts with your trust in yourself to navigate the process and arrive where you must arrive. But it also requires you are your biggest critic. It means the reason you trust yourself to get there is because you know you won't just sit back and say, eh, I'll win because I believe I'll win. No, you'll win because you will, while having your head in the clouds, be brutally proud

with the steps you're taking on the ground. You'll win because you're committed to learning and adjusting. What are my favorite epiphanies when I started doing this full time was the realization at a very small scale at first, that, whoa, someone can't fail unless they quit. You can't lose unless you stop. Impossible, someone might think. Well, no, because when you miss the mark or you fall short,

You take a second to understand why, and then you come back to the problem or challenge again, right? This means life is a game of tenacity, of persistence, of commitment. The one who keeps adjusting and coming back is bound to connect the dots eventually, which makes failure the simple decision that, eh, this isn't worth it for me. I don't want to continue adjusting and re-engaging with this. And look, hey, depending on the situation, that may be. be the move, right? There have been things in my life where after sufficient trial and error, sufficient data, I've said, this doesn't align with who I am or what I want. I'm going to

walk away and pivot to something that does, right? But the key is knowing that it is a decision. To not reach a particular goal is a choice to no longer attack it relentlessly. And so when you feel lost or defeated or even frustrated with the process, try that line of questioning. What do I want? And is what I'm doing today bringing me there? This allows you to start taking a sledgehammer to the things that don't belong, refining the process. And yeah, sometimes walking away from the things that are no longer in the scope of who you want to be and where you're going.

But the power is in knowing, it's in understanding that your footsteps, the little actions of your day to day, They are incredibly powerful, but most of all, when you are methodical with them, when they're pointed in the right direction. So pick your stars carefully and own those steps that take you towards them. Failure is not a sickness you catch. It doesn't fall on your head like a piano in those old cartoons. It's a choice, meaning in positive terms, as long as you are committed to learn. re-approach and repeat, you will find yourself atop the mountain.

As long as you're willing to evolve, you will ultimately arrive. Sometimes the moment has a way of appearing bigger than it really is. A facade. Let me explain. There was this kid when I was in first grade. Let's just call him Mike. And what Mike would do was follow us all around the classroom and outside at recess. We'd constantly look for reasons to quote unquote, tell the teacher on you.

Right, dude was an absolute menace. I'm 35 and I still remember Mike. My buddies and I would be, you know, playing basketball outside. You know, maybe just learn some awesome four-letter words. We'd love to give him a test run, but no, not if Mike was around. Mike would go right to the teacher and see, we feared Mike because we feared being in trouble. Now as time passes, yeah, you look back and realize how absolutely ridiculous that is. I want to shake younger me and say, who cares about Mike?

Go live your life. He doesn't matter. But the reality is at the time he did matter. He mattered a lot because he was the personification of, what was most scary to us in the moment, right? As a child, avoiding being in trouble or time out or whatever it was, seemed to be a big deal. And here's what I think. I think every chapter of life has a mic.

Not in the literal sense, but in the sense that there's something we fear, something that consumes our time and attention, something that's been inflated to a state far greater than it really should have been. It has an impact disproportionate to reality. Because as real as it seems in the moment, a few years down the road, we'll do the usual, you know, shake our head and laugh about the seemingly obvious lack of perspective during that chapter. Hindsight being 2020 will be shocked we couldn't see what we eventually came to see. But that's what growth is.

It's a good thing. to evolve. No one wants to be the same in 10 years. See life the same way in 10 years. But it's also an opportunity to obtain some perspective. To understand that our current fears aren't all we've built them up to be, we just can't see it yet. Unfortunately, the dust has to settle before the picture makes sense. Just like right now, we can't judge the world around us, the same way historians will be able to with clarity. That's why I often referenced Ronnie Wears top five regrets of the dying, because it's a list of things people in their final stages of life look back on and say,

yeah, that was dumb. It's people who have already walked the path pointing out the metaphorical mics they've encountered along the way, because here's the deal. The root of our stagnation, the root of our frustration, our despair comes down to fear in some. capacity. Right? When you dig deep, it's a fear of leaving or staying, a fear of criticism, fear of unknowns, fear of letting down the people we do know. Our demons are manufactured. They're comprised of fear, fear that, sure, we'll eventually laugh and shrug off. But owe the power in being able to fast forward that sequence. To understand that life is too short to be held down by

chains of our own making, right? How about laughing in the face of what intimidates you now? Not five years from now, but now. How about looking around and asking yourself what obstacles in your life are Mike-esque? How about breaking our constraints down into what they've always been manageable tasks? Simply waiting for us to change the narrative. If you weren't pursuing that which is meaningful. It's most likely because somewhere deep down fear is holding you back. And that fear is holding you back because let's face it, you've let it in. See, the moment is beautiful. It's powerful. It has everything you need, but it's not bigger than you. It never will be bigger than you.

So let's not wait for some arbitrary time in the future to arrive at that conclusion. When our backs are against the wall, we're forced to become more. When the clock is ticking, we are tasked with finding answers that hide among us. It's in the darkness. We find light, and while lost, we find ourselves. the paradox of life is that from our pain comes our purpose, our evolution, and our greatness. I love thinking back to about 2014, making my way around Boston, having just quit my job, essentially purposeless, clinging to a YouTube channel and a podcast idea that I would name

your world within. And why? Why do I think back? Why did it? is this mean everything to me? Well, because at the time, I knew nothing. I understood nothing. Nothing about speaking or media, audio, video, nothing about running a business. But more importantly, I knew very little about life and what's truly required to progress in a world

with infinite moving parts. I didn't know that my lack of understanding, is what made everything feel overwhelming and complex, and that it was up to me to simplify. I didn't know the extent to which I'd have to befriend failure. And that was the most eye-opening realization. Because when you gravitate towards a risk-free existence and you box yourself in as I had for so long,

of course you don't get the upside, but you also don't fail as dramatically either. Life was a simple game of cause and effect. Do work, get result, not much room for more than that. And so stepping outside that box in the way that I did, change some rules. I learned some things. First, you can spend time on something. You can exhaust energy on something.

And get nothing in the short term for your efforts. And I mean nothing. unless you count getting your pride stomped on. Unless you count your friends disappearing when you need them most, unless you count self-doubt in a constant worry about not amounting to anything. I mean, these are very raw, very real human emotions. They tend to arise when we start something new, but in them is also the power.

This is where the light bulb turns on, the path emerges. It's where I learn that we only get what we want when we endure or what we don't. And what a foreign concept when you think about it, right? It's like, Eddie, take this mic, go stand in front of this audience and pour your heart out. Your knees are shaking, chest is pounding, but dude, trust me, it'll be good for you. And funny enough, it was. It was because the fear in my stomach became the indicator. that something new, something exciting, something more was around the corner. Like Pavlov's dog hearing that bell,

any time the fear kicked in, I could feel myself getting closer to something meaningful, to a higher version of myself. The pain is an invite, the sheer terror. And let's face it, that's what it feels like sometimes, it's an upgrade. Disguised is the monster that you think you should be running from. When it is, as I recently mentioned, the adversary you should befriend. We have to change our relationship with discomfort because our initial understanding, the one that comes stock in our minds,

is never sufficient to build anything of significance. Its default setting is to preserve the now. not expanded. And so just like those stock speakers that came in my 1999, Ford F-150 when I was in my early 20s, let's rip it out. Let's customize. Let's upgrade the quality of the sound we hear

and the things we say to ourselves. What an advantage it is to know that the hard things are what make us level up to find that awareness. What a blessing that when life's difficulty startles and scatters the masses, you could be the one that remains. Standing tall, seeking out the advantage amidst the commotion, every little act of courage becomes more and more meaningful, powerful. But we must lose ourselves to find ourselves. We must embrace our fears if we are to become courageous. We must fail in order to succeed. And sure, sometimes the price seems steep. But I promise not going costs more. Wishing costs more. If only's cost more. So maybe for you it isn't a YouTube channel or a

speaking career, maybe it's something totally different. But it is something. And should you bring yourself to pursue that which your heart pulls you to pursue, you'll have those moments of defeat, where you're mad at yourself for leaving the comfort and safety of your previous world? You'll have times where you have no idea what to do, where you feel alone or stuck or unsure. The difference will be whether you see this as the invite you've been waiting for or the reason to turn around and settle for less.

That's the question. How do you internalize all that emotion that will feel like it is consuming you? I couldn't believe how strong that temptation was to go back, nagging at me every day. Just come off the edge. Just be comfortable again. But as my old coach would say in college, when we're doing wall sits or something physically taxing, 15 seconds. You can do anything for 15 seconds. And isn't life just a culmination of 15 second windows? It's compartmentalizing the process.

It's turning the difficult into the advantageous. You have the ability to not think like everyone else. You have it within you to rewire your previous conceptions of the world, to see darkness not as your reason to hide from conjured up monsters, but as your invitation to become the light. Remember that the best way to be more is to have the courage to put your back against the wall. And you won't want to in the moment. There will never be a perfect time.

but committing to that vulnerability will release from within you the power, the strength, the greatness that has been for so long tucked away. By moving into the chaos, you are simultaneously creating the calm you always dreamed of. You're realizing the possibility

that just needed the door left ajar to make its way into your world. Of all life's lessons. It's my relationship with what it means to suffer that's transformed my reality. Something that's learned,

not unlike one's ability to read or write, an understanding that unlocks the door to fulfillment. Nietzsche says, to live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering. Dostoevsky says pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth. Helen Keller says, although the world is full of suffering, it's also full of the overcoming of it.

Our problem is not that we suffer. Our problem is that we don't know how to perceive it when it inevitably arrives. We're taught that it's synonymous with a giant street sign saying wrong way. We're taught that the perfect life is free of its grasp. It's why when suffering does arrive, we're so inclined to run from it. I reference my experience as a D1 Rower often, not because I stood out or even really because of my love for the sport. I reference it because it is the point in my life when I learned to suffer.

when I learned what I could put my body through, my mind through, and see that like all things, discomfort simply ends, and life is different on the other side. That's why I talk about waking up to go to the gym in the morning when it's still dark in the middle of winter, the practices that made me throw up, having three exams, two papers, but thinking about a 2K test. Because part of me couldn't believe I was doing it, Because up until that point in my life, I would have simply said no.

That's why I reference the three of us walk-ons that were their senior year out of this 60-plus that showed up freshman year. We built a relationship with suffering. You understand what opens up to you when you agree to, for a moment in time, walk through those flames of hell. It's not a trick or a complex formula. It's just taking yourself to places most. Most haven't learned to go.

Not because they can't, but because they haven't learned. When you know you can push yourself, far beyond what you thought possible. Not only survive, but come back renewed, re-energized, a different understanding of the world. It's hard to see anything as too much or outside the realm of possibility. In my personal life, I can make difficult decisions. In my professional life, I can sit down and write when I don't want to. I feel like I can't. I can take on projects and scare me.

That take me so far outside my comfort zone, my ceilings have no choice but to become floors. You elevate yourself with ECHES. Gustav Lanzone says there is no art without commitment and suffering. That is not a demon to be avoided. It's truly the beginning of everything. Jocko, he says, discipline equals freedom. What is discipline? If not one's ability to accept and harness suffering.

teach yourself not to step back, but forward into it, into the chaos, into the disarray. That's where our lives are assembled. It's where we are made. And so my message is where you would once say no, dare to say yes. Even if it's a footstep, a moment, one toe in the water, teach yourself that the very discomfort you've been running away from, that most run away from will be the reason your life transforms. Change isn't a miracle. It's a decision. The difficulty we face in life is not personal.

If you remember this, you disarm every adversary, obstacle, every complication you'll ever face. So, quick story. Recently, I was renewing a lease for my apartment. Something that usually is pretty simple, right? Only this time things were not simple. Confusion, chaos, misunderstanding after misunderstanding. I received emails and letters saying, you know, you need to provide these documents in order to renew. You need to have XYZ information submitted to his ASAP.

And I'm sitting here thinking, guys, you have all this info. I've lived here a year. Same guy. Let's put two and two together. and after a while I started to get truly annoyed, eventually to the point of taking it personally. So I stopped what I was doing and go down to the front office thinking I'm going to go scorched earth here. I really wanted to emphasize how absurd and ridiculous all this was. I opened the door and just kind of stop in my tracks.

First thing I see is a crowded room filled with tenants asking for things, making requests, for info. And the people that worked there were so patient and kind, running around doing their absolute best to make everyone happy and get everything done. And almost immediately I realized, Eddie, you made this about you. This is not in any way about you. Basically, I created this fallacy that because things weren't working the way I wanted them to, then there must have been some universal resistance, right?

There's an idea I heard a while back that very rarely steers me wrong. It's that two things can simultaneously be true at once. So in this case, is there opportunity for these guys to tighten up a bit? Bring more clarity to their operations and best practices. Yeah, certainly true. But on the other hand, was building this up as a them versus me match in my head dumb and counterproductive. Yes, also true. The world will always provide adversity, right?

That's not news to anyone, it's just what the world does. That adversity will take a thousand different shapes and appear an infinite number of ways. But here's the deal. Life is neutral. Things just happen. They aren't good or bad. They just exist in the ether. We as storytellers decide to put a charge.

into things. We decide whether it's happening to us or for us. We choose. And that's a takeaway here. There's power in remembering not to take things personally in any aspect of life. Because when we do, we actually lose our grip on reality. We become emotional and not rational. And this is visible everywhere. Take rejection, for example, something we all deal with it's not personal. The person on the other end is thinking about themselves. They're locked in on their own incentives. They're not thinking about you and however you feel about this, it's just the truth. So assess the situation. Sure, maybe find some areas where you can improve and carry on. Being mistreated. Again, not about you. As the saying goes hurt people,

hurt people. Same goes for criticism and hate online. It's something that a lot of people truly fear. It will almost always be true that people who are more accomplished than you or further along in their career trajectory won't waste time bringing you down in the comments section. No, it's people saying things hoping that their comments will get approval and attention so they can feel validated. Their actions are being carried out for, ready for this, themselves. And to misdiagnose or take it as a shot to the heart, well, that's creating a battle scenario that doesn't need to exist. It's not them versus you, it's them versus them.

You're just in the crossfire. Now, does this perspective or point to not take things personally mean that we abdicate personal responsibility. Does it mean we say, well, it's not me, it's the world, so not my problem? No, of course not. This perspective gives you the power to do the right things and the necessary things because you understand that the problems you face are not a giant indictment of you as a person. Getting angry creates a scenario where, you know, you really,

allocate your energy from doing what's best for you to instead being mad at him or her or this group or that circumstance or the world in general you know bad things happen and by the way they happen to everyone everyone gets rejected at some point everyone gets let down by people close to them at some point everyone loses their way at some point everyone has their expectations fall short Everyone has pushback. It's not just you. It's the world doing what the world does. And there's 8 billion of us running around operating in our best interest,

trying to navigate a big, crazy world that's often incredibly difficult to understand. So with this perspective, right, going forward, you know, my lesson from a few weeks ago, what would I have done differently during all that chaos with the apartment? A handful of things. First of all, remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, it's trivial. It's just not that important. Two, understand incentives. These folks aren't trying to make things hard for me.

They're trying to do their jobs well so they can live their best lives, which brought their attention to other things. It happens. And three, when you're calm, you can actually solve the problems at hand. when you don't stack your problems up to look like adversaries working against you when you instead see them as merely a challenge or puzzle to be solved life starts to look a lot different it just feels different to walk around as though life is on your side as though hardship is nothing more than the water necessary for the seed to grow As though all those challenges you face are opportunities being presented to you.

Because I'm not sure you can simultaneously fight and solve. I think one of our most important decisions is to select one. You can make the rejection an opponent, the criticism, a rival, you can make the disorder your nemesis. Or you can realize that all of it falls squarely into the same. the box that is like pieces to be taken out one by one so that you can construct the ideal. Life comes down to the advantages that exist all around us, the choices we make to live freely with the wind at our backs or confined by the walls we build around ourselves. And sure, your current obstacles might be because of decisions you've made, maybe even decisions

you wish you could take back. But the current moment right now in this second is neutral. It does not hold a grudge or have an agenda. Now, right now is simply right now. In the same way that 2 plus 2 is 4. 4 is not good or bad. It doesn't want you to win or lose. It's just 4.

Same goes for the crossroads before you. And that puts the onus entirely on your. you to decide what you will make it all mean. Will you slow things down to find clarity? Will you open your eyes to see the value? Because look, there will always be a delta between reality and the stories we tell ourselves about reality. That's just how human beings work.

It's how we've managed to survive for millennia. So understand that and gift yourself the narratives that bring you closer to the place you want to be. The road before you will be challenging, not because its pushback is personal, but because amidst the resistance, you'll find the components you need to live your very best life.