Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - How to master your thinking and shape your reality | Powerful Motivational Speeches

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

"What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds." - Wayne Dyer

Here's to going even when you don't want to go. To moving forward when you're uncomfortable, to stepping up when you're fearful. Here's to courage. I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today about understanding the difference between two things. On one hand, the fear that presents itself when we're growing, leveling up. Like we've all felt nerves before a big event or an important life change. Things like that. Then on the other hand, the emotions that arise when we start to feel like something isn't

right for us, similar discomfort, but not quite the same. We feel nervous or uneasy because we know we're misaligned. And where we landed in our conversation was that when you were on the edge of that metaphorical clip, and your body's pushing back, your heart's pounding, your mind is racing, you're nervous, you're fearful. The question worth asking is will I be disappointed in myself if I don't go through with this? Will I be letting myself down here by turning back? You have to jump into the future and imagine future you sitting at the table reflecting

on this. If you see yourself as regretful, wishing you pushed through, then it's not an alignment issue, it's a matter of courage. And when you think about it, it usually feels obvious looking at. back. Like I can easily recognize in hindsight the things I stopped doing because they weren't aligned with who I wanted to be. When you stop doing the wrong thing, it feels like a breath of fresh air. Like a step back to leap forward. Those decisions create a more fulfilled life. But those times I stopped because I let the moment get bigger than my end goal. Those times I caved and decided I didn't

want to pay the price solely because of the temporary discomfort. I remember those two. That's a different feeling altogether, a not so good feeling, as we all know. Jim Rohn says it like this. There's a pain of discipline or a pain of regret. Choose your pain. One of the things that makes life challenging is that we have to be open to some level of discomfort in our lives. That's just what it is to be human. Now our powers that we get to choose where we let that pain in and what it means, what it will do for us. Will it be the type of pain that grows us or the type of pain that reminds us what could have been? And I really think most of the time we stop, not because the path was wrong for us.

But because we somewhere along the way forgot that most of life's best experiences and circumstances and opportunities come with a hefty, They demand a lot of us. And in those moments when the lights shine the brightest, when we feel the weight of the world coming down on us, it's easy to misdiagnose that discomfort as a stop sign. It's like, oh, I feel alone, I feel unsure, I don't have any validation, my pride hurts, my confidence is shaken, whatever it may be.

These things, even as I'm saying them out loud now, seem awful. when in reality, they're just the cost of admission. It's like you have to not know before you can ever know. But try telling yourself that as you're wandering around feeling nothing but pressure, right?

It's a different story altogether. It's a challenge. But here's the good news. It's a challenge you're capable of handling, of overcoming. Life is about stepping into things, things we don't feel ready for. And then, learning repeatedly that we can piece together the knowledge along the way.

It reminds us that fear is going to show up regardless of what we do in life. But to grow into the people we are capable of becoming, we have to understand that fear is in its own unique way an invitation. The discomfort doesn't mean something's wrong, often the opposite. It's letting you know that more is available, that you are right where you need to be, but you have to change in order to become worthy of what's on the other side. Life is not saying no, it's merely demanding of you courage and courage you have. younger me, there's a lot that you don't know. A lot you're pretty sure you understand, but

couldn't possibly wrap your hands around. Because the most important things in life, the things that you'll remember, they're the very things that seem like footnotes in your story, background noise, hidden in plain view. So younger me, hear me out, because time Time goes by quickly. And we only get one opportunity to do this dance, one chance to do this thing right. Younger me, when you wake up, be thankful for the shoes on your feet,

the house you live in, the life you lead. Because if all you do is focus on what you don't have or the next milestone, happiness becomes a mirage. Younger me, the world is you, know it isn't something that was destined to be. It's here because people know smarter than you have the courage to build it. Never be scared to challenge what is. This place will be better because of it. And younger me, it will always be easier to play it safe, to stay comfortable, but I want you to

understand something. That's not where you'll find the good stuff. If you don't take chances, you'll spend your time wondering what could have been. Younger me, believe in your greatness. This world can be a tough place, and if you don't believe in yourself, no one will do it for you. No one will hand you the sky. Earn excellence every day.

It's there, I promise. Younger me, don't get distracted by the small stuff, the little things that so easily consume our energy and emotions. Don't lose sight of who you are. and what means the most to you, everything else washes away. Younger me, you didn't have all the answers, but somehow you were exactly what I needed you to be.

You created a map. You showed that change can't happen until one falls victim to life's imperfections. That risks aren't taken until you've experienced regret, that confidence isn't acquired, If you don't learn to play the student, and most importantly, if you don't allow yourself to get lost, you will never discover who you truly are. Twenty years from now, when we meet again, younger me, I know you'll do the same. I know you'll have given me everything I needed, nothing more and nothing less. because time

time goes by quickly and we only get one opportunity to do this dance one chance to make this right and I promise you younger me

that it won't be wasted on that long drive in the middle of the night with headlights and endless road in front of me everything I knew in the rear view mirror I learned the value of making the difficult decision.

During the times of disappointment, being let down by the ones I counted on I believed in, I learned the importance of loyalty, the power of being there for those who mean the most to you. Through the failures, the stress, the uncertainty, I learned that life goes on. that when you allow yourself to fall, you build an immunity to the fear associated with hitting the ground.

You get back up stronger. Through the heartbreak, the loss, the pain. I learn to appreciate every moment. To look around and not take any of this for granted. To both recognize and appreciate the fragility of the present because with the snap of a finger, life can change. In the wake of past anger and conflict, I learned to pick my battles.

That rarely is it worth my time. That our vantage points are merely a reflection of our backgrounds and understandings, and even the slightest effort to understand the person staring back at you can be the difference between building up. and tearing down. From being overlooked,

disregarded, the smallest person in the room, I learned the value of true leadership. The benefit of empowering those around you and making them feel appreciated. That walking alone may sometimes be necessary, but that building a vision that those around you believe in is unparalleled. Life is a teacher.

And only through its toughest tests can its curriculum be understood. Can its ideas and lessons take shape? What you need exists so long as you open your eyes. You'll find an inevitable truth that this universe, it wants you to win. It's holding its hand out, providing you everything you need. Understand. Understand that the lows prepare you for the highs. The losses set up the gains, the mistakes build a foundation for the greatest things you will ever do. Life is a teacher. And should you listen, you'll see that it has no bounds, no restrictions, just the next chapter.

the ability to love, love yourself first. Charles Bukowski. So last week I was in Utah, and while I was there I did some guided breath work, which had never done before. And honestly, it was a little skeptical at first, but I try and keep an open mind and gave it a shot. I'm happy I did. It ended up potentially being one of the most important things I've ever done.

And I want to share why. why? Because this breakthrough or aha moment, if you will, was exactly what I needed when I needed to hear it. So this episode's going to be a little different than usual, but I feel compelled to pass it along. So to set the scene, I arrived with a friend of mine to the instructor, Jen's location. She gave us an overview, kind of explaining what the next hour is going to look like, and handed me a notebook to write down my goal for this session. And the notebook becomes pretty important as the story goes on. But I opened it and I wrote what I'd like to use this session to reflect on. It happened to be the walls that I have a tendency to build around myself.

That day that felt like the most pertinent obstacle in my life. I saw it as an opportunity to push back against that reality that human beings love to create normal and then latch on to it. And that's not ideal because when we do that, we stop looking for places to grow. We stop pushing. We stop seeking to live life to the fullest. In other words, we settle. And so I wrote that down. I closed a notebook, laid back on this incredible fuzzy blanket, and the music got turned on. We began the breathing pattern, in, in, out, in, out. Jen started guiding us, verbally taking us back to a conversation with our younger selves. The journey had begun.

And this is the part where things get really interesting because my thoughts really did feel like some strange mix of dreaming and hallucinating, just from breathwork. But at some point, she referenced the need to let go and said the words, You know, we weren't meant to suffer or hold on to suffering. And that really cut deep because I know there are so many places where I've rationalized continuous suffering in my life. I'd speculate that in some way we all do. When the hard thing or the uncomfortable thing, you know, when they stop being stepping stones

and instead just become the way thing, are. It becomes a concession. Hey, this doesn't feel good, but it's my life. This person holds me down, but it's how things are. I don't like doing this every day. It eats at me, but hey, life, am I right? That's learned helplessness.

It hides in the corners and the nooks and crannies of life, subtle enough that we don't give it much thought. And I imagined very vividly. Climbing down a ladder, placed on the edge of this dark canyon that went straight down. Down, down, down. Everything. My entire landscape was black and white. There was zero color, except for the rays of light barely visible at the bottom.

All the way down as I descended into the canyon. The colors that get a little stronger, a little brighter, as if every step put a little more vibrance into my life. Each moved down made things a little clear, the latter becoming quicker and quicker, eventually turning into a slide that brought me down to the base of the canyon, where upon landing and standing up, everything was illuminated.

fields of sunflower, waterfalls, birds chirping, the sun shining, and it was there in that moment I realized my intention for the class. The one I wrote down in that little notebook, well, it missed the mark. Not in the sense of being incorrect or wrong necessarily, but it simply wasn't enough. See, at the root of it all, or at the bottom of that canyon, existed life with the courage to love yourself. Not just accept yourself,

not just be okay with your existence, but love yourself. With all your faults and your struggle, with all your mistakes and your history, became clear to me how much changes when you love with all your heart, the person staring back at you in the mirror. The opinions of others, they do not guide your decision-making.

How could they? How could others know you better than you? In fact, those opinions are part of the black and white landscape to be left behind at the top of the mountain. The consistent suffering you've become accustomed to. The learned helplessness you endure. that's not acceptable to someone who truly loves him or herself. Loving yourself means pushing away that which is not you. It's finding that ladder down to the beautiful world of authenticity and truth,

the magic of being aligned with what really matters. And what's funny is, I can talk about breaking down barriers. They should be broken down. I can talk about stepping into fear because it should be confronted. I can talk about finding a way out when we're stuck in a way up when we're down. I can talk about all of that every day of my life. But none of it matters if you don't learn to fully love the reflection in the mirror more, more than you ever thought you could.

Think about the gift you could give to that younger version of yourself. Think about what you could give to those close to you, your family, your friends. Think about what you could do for the world if you left those black and white concessions behind you and lived a life true to yourself. It is, of course, not always easy, but I learned that day that it is the North Star. It's what we build upon. So before we ask how to shape the world around us,

maybe we should be asking, how do we embrace the one within us? Maybe we should learn to love ourselves so deeply that those walls don't need. need to be broken down. Because in time, we'll learn not to build them up in the first place. We'll learn that in a world of black and white, it is acceptance and trust and confidence and love that gives it color.

You weren't put here to live in the shadows of life, to exist beyond the sun. sun's grasp to stay on the outside looking in. No, you weren't put here to live in the shadows of life. It's important to remember the difference between now and forever, the distinction between today and tomorrow, because from time to time, they look deceptively similar, especially when we inevitably find ourselves in the darkest of times. When despite our best efforts, our world is reduced to shadows, void of hope. When tomorrow and today have merged into one endless entity, it always seems to be in these times that we forget that right now is just a moment, not an assigned permanent,

But a bridge to something great as Victor Frankl says, if there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering. We all suffer. We all hurt. We all go through periods of time where we can't see or hear or feel anything beyond the darkness we find ourselves in, but it's there. Darkness cannot be defined without light. It's in the definition. Darkness is a part of the definition. Darkness is a part of, or total absence of light. They need each other, darkness and light. The one thing that can bring darkness to its knees is out there, everywhere, all around it. And if there was ever a reason to be hopeful, enthusiastic,

if there's ever a reason to believe, it's that a new life is always a light switch away. It's that darkness is as temporary as the day. And the antidote requires a light switch away. requires only that you believe it to be true, only that you find the resolve to reach one foot out, to remind yourself of the sun's warmth and the infinite beauty of a world beyond this temporary darkness,

because you weren't put here to live in the shadows of life, but to reemerge like a rocket through the earth's stratosphere, to swing from star to star like life is a playground and you make the rules. And I think when we look back we'll be nothing but grateful for those times of darkness. They, in a sense, prepared us for the road ahead by giving us what we need most. Perspective. Life lessens a roadmap to follow because you don't appreciate the light, the sun, the clear, blue skies, the wind on your face, the sound of the waves, the chirping of the birds.

No, you don't see the beauty in any of that until even if for a moment it is taken away. You don't learn about life's abundance until you come face to face with scarcity. You don't learn to give until you've had your world taken away. You don't learn to love until you've experienced heartbreak. You don't learn courage until you've been overcome by fear. You don't learn to grow until you've been truly stuck. You don't learn to believe until you've looked in the mirror and doubt peers back. You don't know who you are until you learn what you're not.

See, everyone finds themselves having wandered into the dark, sometimes of their own volition, sometimes of fate. But like leaves changing color in the fall, the earth on its journey around the sun, a wave emerging and falling back into that which it came. It is not an end, but a beginning. Life's way of preparing us for what's to come, introducing us to the infinite possibility of tomorrow because you weren't put here to live in the shadows of life, but to emerge from them. to light up the world.

No, you weren't put here. To live in the shadows of life. This has been on my mind recently. The things happening around us that go unnoticed. The work that's unseen. Let me explain. There's an idea that a fish has no idea. It's in water as the water is all it's ever known.

And I like to draw parallels to this frequently because I think it's representative of the human condition in so many ways. It has to be. We necessarily block out an infinite number of things in order to focus on what we've decided matters most. In other words, our eyes are spotlights. And the beauty is that this allows us to say yes to that which will push us in a given direction. disregarding everything else. The challenge is that sometimes what's disregarded has value. We can't see the progress we're making as we're building

because to build we have to be focused on the very next brick on what's in front of us. Step by step, day by day we see what's next. But what often lives outside that field of the world of the world of the world, that field of vision is what we're becoming. The foundation we're building. That's why the journey can feel frustrating and feel helpless. A lot of the real value kind of floats overhead unnoticed.

Now I have infinite examples here. I'll give you one of my favorites. Almost a decade ago, I wanted to make a little acoustic album, singer-songwriter stuff, and I called it Painting the Mississippi, which, if you're ever going to come up with a band name, make it something people can spell, just a side note. But I was locked in.

My heart at the time pulled me in this direction, and I thought of nothing but writing songs. Recording, learning pro tools, how to edit and mix music. I thought about promotion, designing album covers, making videos. I'd never done anything like that in my life before. It was all new. And because of that, I'm sure it's no surprise that it was bad.

Reality was about to confirm this. I didn't know it yet, but it was coming, right? And I sent it everywhere, all over Boston. It got no traction. I remember just being baffled. My mind went to all those little steps, all the time, all the commitment. I would just sit there thinking, you know, What about all that effort? My eyes were focused entirely like a spotlight on making this happen for months and months and months. And now, what do I have to show for it? Nothing, maybe even worse than nothing, embarrassment, a bruised ego,

fear of what comes next. If I were a fish, that process was the stream I'd been living in. Not only that, my understanding of life was effort, and validation having a one-to-one relationship. Long-term value was something I understood less than Mandarin. It just wasn't something I thought about. But here's what lived outside my field of vision. All that I was becoming.

And listen, I know some of these things are said so often that they feel cliche. I get that, right? The classic, well, son, at least you learned. But this, quote unquote, loss was truly the foundation I would build the next decade on. Here's what younger me learned. Sometimes you work and you work and you work and you work and the results are not there. See, reality is a free market. It'll let you know if you're adding value and if you're not.

and what I saw is that sometimes you swing and miss and it's not personal. In fact, learning to depersonalize these outcomes is what separates the true winners and losers in life because winning requires taking that data and info and going back to the drawing board. Losing is derived from looking at that result and saying, oh, I must suck then.

I must not have what it takes. It was the hardening that I needed. Impossible to see that in real time. That was life outside the stream I was swimming in. But oh, how grateful I am for it. To ultimately learn that life does not give charity, no one deserves anything. You either evolve until you can get what's yours

or you miss out on all of it. And see, what I'd love you to do, as you march forth into your next unknown, is understand that so long as you are humble enough to adapt and learn and grow, there is value happening in real time. And I only remind you because it's very likely that right now in this moment, you can't see it. You can't see how what you're going through now will make you stronger.

how the setbacks will ultimately make all the difference. You can't see how strong you are because all you're looking at is what's next and you have to. You're not thinking about what you've conquered or how far you've come. No, that somehow eludes us. So don't let the disappointment of the no results now intimidate you. This is the good stuff, the meaningful stuff. If you're willing to learn as you go, I promise you, even when life seems to be at its darkest,

you are ascending a staircase that will bring you where you need to be. As the saying goes, sometimes the quote unquote wrong choices bring us to the right places. Trust in the value you cannot yet see as you make your way through life. Trust that the dots will connect, that this will all make sense. You simply cannot be effective without some trust in the process. The reason life is not a standardized test with true and false questions

because it's figured out as we go. So don't deprive yourself of that beauty when the reward is delayed because my friend, the magic, is now. It's in the will to move forward and the courage to keep your head up. It's in what all this become. So believe in you.

Trust in yourself. Have the patience to walk that path and see it all materialize. Human beings don't see we interpret. We don't take in what happens. We take in the implication of what happens. Everything in our world is story. It's similar to the idea of to, ideologically different news organizations, right, reporting on the same event.

Neither will be completely factual. They'll both uphold their individual narratives. They're not black and white. They're interpreting gray space. And our individual lives are no different. We are our own broadcasting channels. Using data to support our individual narratives. See, we know what the story's going to say before the story occurs because we will make it

so. We'll make life fit our beliefs. That's what means to be human. So here's where the value lives in the context of this message when we find ourselves in a consistent state of despair or frustration or anxiety. It's a fool's errand to look for solutions in the external world. Because Everything we find, everything we come across, will support our current beliefs, our current story. That's what we'll keep playing in our heads, and it's why money can't bring fulfillment, and another person can't take you from incomplete to content. It's why status will never equate to happiness.

Those acquisitions are like putting premium fuel in a car with a broken engine. It's just not the answer that we hoped it would be. To change your world, you must change your story. Whatever it is that needs to be changed. The location, the objective, the characters, maybe the journey altogether, but it's the neural network behind your eyes that must change, not the detail it takes in. And so if you feel stuck or feel like where you want to be seems unrealistic, you have to know right now that the very fact you think that, the very fact you think

that way is the problem. So ask yourself, not your girlfriend or your boss or your neighbor, but ask yourself what a turnaround looks like. Do you know? Or have you acclimated to being unhappy? Have you even asked yourself what happiness looks like? Or is your personal broadcasting channel so hellbent on ensuring your life outlook stays the way it is that it's not even paying attention?

to the data it takes in. See, I believe wholeheartedly that the first step in any facet of transformation is remembering that you have control that things in your life that bring you down or hold you back can be changed.

In fact, the very things working against you can work for you, but you have to be aware. You have to think about it. Now, I'm not a believer in magic, right? I don't think you sit back, say, I don't want to be unhappy, ever again, snap your fingers and smile until the end of eternity.

But I do believe that once we're aware of our manufactured shackles and our self-imposed limitation, we can start chipping away, doing the one, two or three small things every day, tiny swings at the tree until it falls. If it's, I'm not happy with my work life, well, what does a better situation look like? What bridge is that gap? I'll wake up 20 minutes earlier on weekdays and master Microsoft Excel. I'll send one message on LinkedIn asking an expert about the field I want to move into. I'll read 20 pages a day in a book related to business.

You think those things are small? See what they look like compounded in a year. Not only that. This is the most important part. You are taking the power back. You're taking control. And that's what feels good. That's where we get our identity.

You get a little disappointed at how you've let your physique slip when you look in the mirror. Don't be sad about it every day. Again, ask yourself what the inverse looks like and start doing small things. Subtract one sports drink and add one green smoothie. Double your water intake. Do a 10-minute daily workout on YouTube. The pieces are out there. And to find yourself again is to realize that they're out there.

I realize that you're playing a movie on loop in your head that isn't right. It's just not you. And well, what movie do you want to be playing in an ideal world? Scroll through the library, find it, click, play, and start doing the small things that make it real. There's so much power in progress. I've seen this unfold in different areas of my life, but particularly as a writer, as a speaker,

It's like you identify who you want to be. You start making tiny steps and after a while, you're surrounded by the change that you've created. How can you not believe something that you're starting to live? It has to become your identity because it is you. It's around you. You breathe it. So look around and realize the malleability of your situation.

and if what you find is not you, good. Here is your opportunity to tear down the old and construct the new. You can do that because you have control, because it's within your grasp. So start the new movie, the new story, make yourself the hero. and set out to find yourself again. One of my favorite anecdotes or mantras is work hard in silence, let success be your noise. That idea in my mind is perfection.

Let your growth, your evolution, and yes, ultimately your accolades do this speaking for you. This always hit home for me for two reasons. One, because things of value come with a hefty price tag. We know this. Excellence requires sacrifice. It is in many ways both a daunting and worthwhile pursuit. And two, well, because we often conflate flailing around with progress.

In fact, some of my favorite books, whether it be Deep Work by Cal Newport, Relentless by Tim Grover, The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. part of what captivates me with these is the emphasis on what we are willing to do in silence, behind the scenes. That's where true meaning and value materializes. It's also where it's most difficult to commit and continue forward because in silence, there is no audience clapping for you. There is no validation. When you're building and reading and improving, when you're at the gym or on those calls, establishing that foundation, putting in the hours,

it's easy to look around and have doubts. And our brains go, I did the work, where's the reward? I sacrificed, so where's the payout? It's not intuitive to understand that, hey, it's not visible yet. One of my favorite metaphors, the lily pad pond, in which there is a pond with lily pads, doubling in size every day, and on day 30, the pond is completely covered with them. So what day was the pond half covered?

And if we're thinking quickly, we might be inclined to say, well, half of 30 is 15, so it was half covered on day 15. But that's wrong, because if they're doubling every day, that pond wasn't half covered until day 29. and only a quarter covered on day 28. Meaning every day before then the change was so small that perhaps it wasn't even visible to the naked eye. So small that to onlookers, the prospect of it

one day being covered might have seemed far-fetched. But what was at work was the necessary change to set the stage? To start what would ultimately become the exponential growth that is noticeable, impactful. Now, of course, lilypads are not human, but little thought experiment, let's say they had been. I'd like to believe that talking about their growth, their plans, right, them screaming about how great they are

and what they will someday be would not have helped them grow faster. In fact, it might have potentially even distracted the necessary evolution. The growth was not them versus the world, it was them versus them. And that's the idea, right? It's okay to work on you, to make a deal, sign a contract with yourself that you are doing something now that only you understand.

That won't be visible until a later date. Let success be your noise. Because there's often zero correlation between the loudest person and the one making the greatest impact. Let success be your noise. because you can't fake competency. Let success be your noise because leaders don't need to proclaim they lead. And winners don't need to prove they've won. And virtuous people don't advertise their virtue.

It's in the doing. That's where we pay the price, the steep price. I've always said the last 10 years for me, the hardest part wasn't failing. It was not when things didn't go as planned. The hardest part was simply not knowing. It was the whisper that, hey, all this could be for naught. That I'm wasting my time.

That the whole idea is a car without wheels. And that's what hurt. But if I could go back in time, talk to my younger self, I would say, you know, all this, all of it, the ups, downs, highs, lows, it's making you who you need to be. And if something doesn't work or go as you planned it originally, relax. You learn, you adjust, and you move forward. That's how the doubling of lily pads, right, using the same metaphor, occurs. You're learning, you're growing, and that's a you thing.

I talked a few weeks ago now about the difference between a fee and a fine, as discussed in the psychology of money by Morgan Howell. The weight of not knowing it isn't a fine, it's not a penalty, It's the fee. It's the cost to get into the show, the ticket to something greater. But you have to walk through that door. Again, it's a decision. It's personal.

It's a commitment. It's nothing that screaming and seeking attention brings. You have to trust yourself, believe in yourself, right? Your effort is doubling in size. It's compounding exponentially. And you don't need to convince others. You need to say consistent. and build yourself up until the world has to notice.

Trust the mission you're on. As long as you're one moving forward, and two, learning and adjusting, you are destined for something greater. By committing you have stacked the deck. By believing in yourself, you have rigged the game. It's about hearing and believing that voice that says, there's more in store for those who take it.

And you are capable of that. That's the decision that will ultimately ring so loud it will echo through time. It was recently in Dallas visiting some old friends and was chatting with someone that I've been friends with for a long time. And he was mentioning that he's gone through some pretty big light changes over the past few years. and was excited about the fact that after a pretty rough stretch, he had recovered or found his workout routine again, sort of a revival in his old identity. Because for context, he'd always been a pretty athletic guy growing up.

But just like it happened to anyone, you know, other things emerged and took priority, right? They swept in and, you know, kind of consumed him for a period of time. And I guess, you know, in a way, that part of him that used to fire on all cylinders was buried. He lost it. And so anyway, we're talking, and he's saying that he had been a little down, you know, put on a little weight.

And the struggle was, according to him, making time for fitness in his now incredibly busy life. He's got a toddler running around, a very time-intensive job. On top of that, he's remodeling houses. He's doing a lot. And this is the part that stood out. To me, he said, Eddie, I've tried everything. I went through, you know, quick phases where I was motivated,

but I couldn't, you know, maintain that consistency. I was working, and then after work, I'd be with my son, who was, you know, just too little to leave alone for 45 minutes. And this is what's funny because it sounds so simple, but, you know, he says, I found a gym with a daycare so I could bring my son and work out for 45 minutes. And that's when I was able to establish a routine.

And that one action or decision allowed my entire life to get back on track, right? That was the rock I had to move, which is the phraseology that I want to focus on here. I think it's brilliant the way he said it. You know, basically once I could figure out how to work out on afternoons when he's with me, I was able to make it go from sometimes a thing to always a thing. That was, again, the rock that had to be moved. Now, I can clearly see from the conversation, right, the guy's happier, feels better about himself. And you know how it is when you're in that space.

It starts to carry over into all aspects of life. And I'm thinking, this is so powerful, right? I told him I'm going to steal this rock metaphor and share it on the podcast on YouTube, because that, in my opinion, is the way to look at meaningful change. He nails it. It's not what do I need to get or acquire. or add, like, you know, we tend to think in those situations. No, it's what's preventing me from leveling up.

What do I need to move to get rid of? Where is the boulder I have to push out of the way? And sure, there's a temptation to perhaps oversimplify, but I think that's exponentially better than the alternative, which is making things unnecessarily complex. And in a way, that's what humans do best anyway, right? The world is infinite numbers and data points and variables. Humans just pick a few and create stories with them.

So to me, there is value in truly simplifying and saying, okay, that's where I want to be. What's the one thing I could remove that would free me up to start moving that way? Where is my rock that has to be relocated? And it's funny when we find those things, right? It's like turning on the light in a dark room. Everything begins to make sense. You feel momentum.

You feel like you're in it. And again, how you feel when you go to bed at night becomes your identity. It's not because you're solving the problem right away, but because you feel that progress. Progress equals happiness, right? Human beings are invigorated by meaning, the pursuit of purpose, when we're stuck. the painful part isn't necessarily being stuck as much as it's that we're not moving towards what matters. We need that growth. And for my buddy to see that, it was moving the mental rock of, I can't have a good workout when I'm watching my son. Those two things are mutually exclusive.

Remove that limiting belief and boom. And maybe in your particular situation, you know, there are numerous rocks that need to be moved. Incredibly plausible, right? But we can't. can only move one at a time. And like Domino's, you have to push the first one down before the other start to fall. So where can you push? Which I also like because it emphasizes the power and control we have in our own lives. Again, situations are messy and complex. I get that.

But if you can simplify it down to what is one thing that's preventing me from going or changing or stopping or stopping or whatever it is for you, What's the big obstacle? Okay, there it is. Let's chip away. Let's move this thing. It's as if your frustration over immobility is a dam. And what you need to do is an add more water to the reservoir, but find out what you can remove to start letting that water flow.

Right? You want it to move freely. Because I believe life is a momentum gain. It really is. Like you win when you feel like you're progressing. you feel like you're taking steps. That's when you're excited. That's when you jump out of bed invigorated. That's where you look for solutions. So look around you. There's always a step to be taken. In fact, I simplify to the extent that my mantra is number one, know that change is possible.

And number two, know that the next move is within an arm's reach of where you stand right now. Understanding and believing those two things is power. Right. Don't get disillusioned by how far the top of the mountain feels or how long you've been in one place wishing things were different, none of that matters. The goal is to manufacture momentum and that's what you do. So do it by initiating one small action that frees you up to start walking that way. And it's amazing when you're in motion, things seem to make sense in a way that they simply didn't when you were stationary.

That's why it's important to understand that you don't need to have all the answers. In fact, it's impossible to have all the answers. The journey provides them. The path contains the secrets. Therefore, the goal should be to get yourself stepping down that path. No overly harsh out of this world unrealistic expectations. No, simply be your own biggest ally here. Remove what you don't need and free yourself of that unnecessary minutia.

It's go time. I go back and forth often, as you've heard me do here, right? It's like, yes, life is messy, it's complex. That's true to culmination of infinite variables and data points, but guess what our job is, guess what your power is, to hone in on the select few of them necessary to tell your story. Human beings have survived for thousands and thousands of years because we are masters of simplification. of ignoring what we don't need, and distilling the complex down into what's actionable.

And perhaps that's where you are now, what you need to do most. It's like, I'm not where I want to be. Okay, in simple terms, where do I want to be? What does my mountaintop look like? What am I doing now that's getting in the way? And what rocks do I need to move that will get me started down that path to something new? there are some pretty basic themes that consistently reemerge in most of my videos and podcast episodes.

The idea of us having control, agency. The idea that fear can be an ally. As Joseph Campbell states, the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. The idea that you're not your past, right? And there are a few more. But essentially, today's episode takes them all and places them in the palm of your hand. It reminds you that in totality, this is all about you being the author of your story. And you don't need the whole book written.

Ideas, character development, and all that stuff will come into your head as you write, as the pen hits the paper. You just need to find that starting point. Self-assess. Identify that little piece of opportunity that was hidden beneath the story. the excess and begin.