Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - I WILL NEVER GIVE UP | Best Motivational Speech

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

"I am thankful to all those who said no. It's because of them, I did it myself." - Albert Einstein This episode is about the inevitable truth that the things we are most inclined to avoid are very often the things we need most...

So why is it that our losses are ultimately our victories? And why is it so tough in the moment for us to recognize that? You know, our pursuit through life, the emotionality of what we're trying to do gets in the way so often of what's truly beneficial to us, what's really going to help us. And I want to talk about that. I want to kind of create a perspective shift that has helped me. I want to redirect that back to whoever's watching this. It was interesting this morning I was at my desk and had one of these, we'll call it a situation, where I was reflecting back on the past few months.

And it just felt like in that time span, I'd take in more Ls, more swings and misses, than ever in that period of time, right? So like rejection with regard to a lot of different areas, right? Podcasts, YouTube, keynote speaking conferences, a lot of these things, clients coming and going. And I'm looking back in like the human thing to do, it made sense for me to feel like in that moment of time. It was a referendum on where I was going, who I was, what I was all about. to the point where I couldn't even see that within that same time period, some of the most important victories of my life had occurred.

Some of the things that are truly pushing me to where I want to go, that negativity bias. All I could see was that I was missing in a lot of different areas, and I was doing it at a higher rate than I'd ever done, and that it just didn't feel good. I had to think about it for a minute. I had to think about it because there's a very simple truth that always gets lost in the mix. And it's the idea that what we need most is the thing that we're most inclined to shy away from.

A lot. You know, the pursuit of meaning in life is such a difficult one because it requires of us that we go where we don't want. want to go. Fire is, you know, what forges iron. And sometimes I wish life wasn't that way, but it's the way things are. And I had to remind myself that, you know, at some point the law of average, of averages comes into play. If you have someone shooting a basketball,

the more times they shoot, the more points they're going to score. That's just a reality. If they shoot less, they'll miss less, but they'll score less. If they shoot more, they'll score more. And of course, over time, you want that ratio to improve. You want more points per shot.

But it's never going to be 100. You're never going to make all. of your shots. That's not the way the world works. Life is set up to prevent that. It's set up in a way that we must earn that which we find valuable. I remember reading in a Darren Hardy book. He's a real estate guy and he was saying things changed for him when he really started to place value on rejection when he was knocking on those doors. He started to be value the door shut in his face to the point where his goal when he went out in the morning wasn't how many yeses he got. He wouldn't stop till he got X number of nose. And that was an

epiphany for me. That was like a reading that was a very valuable thing because you see that you know one obviously amidst the nose are the yeses right you sift through the rejection and the negativity and the doors closing in your face to find the one. one that opens, but also, and I think this is what's most important, the nose make you stronger. They make you realize that there's value there, that they're not defining, and then it's not something that you just learn to live with. No, it's something you need. You need to take more shots. You need to knock on more doors. Because what's more dangerous than someone who's. who isn't afraid of failure.

Someone who's emotionally detached from life's closing of doors in your face. There's nothing more powerful than someone who doesn't see that as defining but sees it as a stepping stone. There's this idea, and I've talked about this in the past, that we see losing as this sort of

outside circumstance directed towards us or inflicted upon us. Like it's raining, right? Like we can't do anything about the weather. Well, we talk about losing the same way. It's like, yeah, we lost. I was defeated. Well, one of the most important things to remember is the outside world can't tell you when to stop.

They can present challenges. They can present difficulties. They can knock you down. But stopping is an internal decision. It's an emotive decision. It's looking at yourself and saying, I am no longer going to move forward. Because for whatever reason, it's not worth it for me.

It's telling yourself a story that the pursuit, the price of what's ahead of you is not worth, the cost, the energy, the exhaustion of time and resources. It's not an outside thing. You know, and I consume a ton of self-help of personal development. I love this stuff, obviously, right? I've chosen to immerse myself in it 100%. And so that space in the morning where I'm consuming that stuff,

it helps with my perspective for the entirety of the day. I think so much of life is how we look at it. And there are certain things you hear over and over and over again. That makes sense. So for me, the idea that your losses don't define you. Makes sense. It's like, great. I get that. Understanding it is very different than living it. And when I find myself sort of amidst that storm in life, I need to redefine it, re-explain it, so that I get it again, so that it becomes real to me. Otherwise, it's just a cliche or a poster with an eagle in an office building. It's like, no, I need to fully understand it.

And I think this is how it makes the most sense to me. Human beings are emotional. We're emotional creatures. We're not practical creatures. And in many ways, that's a beautiful thing. But in a lot of ways, it's detrimental. It's detrimental because when things happen that aren't great, emotively, it's hard.

It changes the way we see ourselves. It makes us feel bad, right? And so it's something that we want to move away from, when in reality that emotion is just a mask on the truth. It's like, you know, I'll use another rain metaphor. You know, I'm here in South Florida in the summer every afternoon it rains, right? And that emotion is like that cloud coming over that when you're underneath it is sometimes scary. It's intimidating.

It consumes you. It feels like everything. And then you realize that in 20 minutes it's going to be. gone. The sun's going to be shining and life is going to be just as great, if not better, than it ever was. Right. But we have to let that pass. There's never been a moment where I feel like the emotional decision was the right one. Emotion is reaction and it needs to be harnessed. The pragmatic brain is what reminds us that, yeah, they make us feel bad in the moment, but it's counterintuitive as it is, we need them.

They are stepping stones. They're not losses. They are lessons. They're not a referendum on who you are. There are a redrawing of a map to show you where you need to be. I did my TEDx talk on a very similar idea that those things that are so painful in the moment, that destroy us, that feel like the world's ending, often plant a seed to something so beautiful, so incredible,

to what we needed, but didn't know how to get to. You know, for me, like, finding myself in a job or a role, a career path that I felt was not where I wanted to be, that didn't energize me, that I didn't feel. like I was adding value, felt like a dead end. But ultimately, it helped create something incredible for me. It helped me realize, hey, this isn't where you need to be, so you need to find where you are. Sometimes you have to realize where you don't want to go

before you can take steps towards where you need to go. That loss ended up being a win, right? Or starting a YouTube channel and spending a year creating these videos and getting no validation, getting nothing back. And it's like another dead end, a referendum on you. You're not good enough. This isn't where you should be. You shouldn't acquit. You shouldn't have left that world. You should be right back there. Well, it helps you realize that that's not the case, that you have to go through that valley of despair before you can find any type of fulfillment.

It's like you have to be vulnerable and dance before that metaphorical music plays before you can be triumphant in any capacity. Or, you know, a couple of years later, my personal life falling apart. And just feeling like, again, another dead end, another loss, another self-defining moment. Or so I thought.

or was it a chance to start over, right? To put, you know, your world in a trailer and go down the coast and rebuild. And this time differently. And that was another door that opened. And these are big things. Imagine the little things that you can put, you know, as they arrive, these losses, these setbacks, put them in this bucket, hold on to them, and then make them something new. That's what I needed to remind myself this morning.

All of these things that I'm looking at with sort of this negative viewpoint, I can't forget what they're helping me build because the emotional brain was overriding everything. I totally forgot that I was doing exactly. what I needed to do. I was Darren Hardy knocking on doors. That's what success is. Knocking on doors, getting rejected and turning that rejection

into something that you were not the day before. And so, you know, I'll wrap it up with this because I think it's an important point. I'm not asking you or advocating, suggesting that you become some robot void of emotion. I don't think that's a winning recipe. I don't think it's possible, but if it were,

I don't think it's the right thing. What I'm suggesting is that you recognize that when life hits you and you do feel the way you do, which is a very human response, you recognize that it's emotion. You recognize that, yeah, it makes me feel bad in the moment, and that's the way it is, that's the way it's always going to be, but when that cloud moves by, when that's a moment, moves by. When that cloud passes, there's something beautiful to cling on to. There's forward progress

there underneath the discomfort and the despair. And that's what we can't let go of. That's what progress is about. Those stopping points, those checkpoints where so many people look to their left and right and go, ah, I've lost. Oh, this is too much. Oh, this means I'm not good enough and they turn around. They don't wait for that cloud to pass. But it always does and underneath it is exactly what you mean. Hope you got something from this. I'll see you next time.