Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - Listen To This And Change Yourself | Positive Morning Motivation

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." - Rumi

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Victor Frankel. So much of life comes down to how we arrange and internalize what we see. Our realities will always be comprised of what we choose to look at. Now, that's not to say the. unfortunate or quote unquote bad things aren't present but whether or not you choose to keep them

in your life in your field of vision that's on you here are two ways i like to explain this the first was explained to me as a curtain hung from a stage and this curtain has holes and tears all throughout on the other side of the curtain there's an auditorium some chairs aisles a few lights a few lights. But depending on which hole or tear you chose to look out of, you'd see a different piece of that picture. It can be said that the curtain is life, and the hole you choose to look through makes up your reality. The little piece of information you choose to consume. Because life is certainly complex, right? There are too many images and variables for us to notice all of them. That's possible we'd collapse in on ourselves. We have to pick a few, which means that our entire existence

from the time we're born to the time we die is dependent entirely on which details we choose to focus on, which ones we use to tell our story. Which leads me to the second example. Let's say you decide you're going to walk to your car, you open your front door, you walk down your driveway, right up to your car, open the door, and get in. Your story was, I'm going to my car. And so everything you experienced was related to that. In the sense that you didn't notice the driveway of the person's seven houses down. You weren't looking for that.

And you didn't notice the potholes across the street. You weren't looking for that either. You didn't think about the funny shaped cloud over your head. that wasn't on your mind. Why would it be? All these things weren't part of the story, right? And the idea is we are very selective of the things we pay attention to.

We use a small fraction of the world to tell our stories. And this matters because when we are down or stuck or disappointed or whatever it is, it's not that you don't have a reason to be where emotional creatures and things happen but it is true that you don't have to stay there that the little hole you are looking out of

from behind the curtain may not be serving you your viewpoint may not be the best viewpoint but it's in your control right you choose what hole you want to look through and then use life to create supporting details when you're focusing on the negative or why you aren't good enough you'll find things that support that narrative.

Choose a different story, and you'll start seeing different pieces that support it. I'm sure you've all heard how when you're looking to buy a car, you start seeing more and more of that car on the road. It's not because they suddenly appeared overnight on 95. No, they've always been there. They've been in the mix. But now it's become a part of your story. You're looking through a new hole in the curtain.

therefore your focus has changed. And that's what I mean when I say reality is a choice. The details will match your beliefs. Believe you are incredible, you'll find evidence. Believe this is just the beginning of something beautiful. And you'll find the details necessary to bring it to life. You get what you focus on. So focus on the things that will propel you forward.

Because trust me, they're there. It's in our moment of greatest distress that we must find it within ourselves to see that which is difficult to see. It's when things seem hopeless, tragic. It's when we feel lost that we forget a universal truth. Behind every struggle, no matter how big there is a win, an answer. an opportunity for recreation. See, it's very easy in the midst of a storm to forget that it will pass.

The dark skies block out the light, so we forget the warmth of the sun. And the wind and the rain, it forces us inside, so we forget the perfection that is simply breathing in the cool air. forget that all storms have one thing in common. They come and they go. They are temporary. And what they leave is hope, answers, the clearest, brightest of skies. See, I'm not asking you to see something that's not there. I'm not asking you to imagine or live a life of make-believe.

I'm reminding you of what you already know exists behind those clouds. Better days, your solution, your victory. I'm asking you to look to precedent. Because every day leading up to now has had its adversity. The road to the current moment was paved with trials and tribulations and what you've done. Every day until now is figuratively. it out. Find a way. How many times do you have to prove to yourself that you have what it takes, that you'll be okay, that within the depths of your soul are answers to any and every problem

that you face. I know things aren't easy. Maybe they even seem bigger, scarier, more overwhelming than they ever have. But as adversity grows, So does your resilience. And I'm not sitting here giving you something new or an answer you didn't already possess. All I'm doing is reminding you how incredible you are, how much you've already overcome and how capable you are of conquering whatever is next.

Sometimes in life, the difference between okay and great or stagnation and growth, It is only a change in perspective. It is how you look at the world and your place within it, that little voice in your head, reminding you that you are capable of things beyond your current comprehension, that your perceived best is a fraction of what you're capable of. Reality is manageable. It's always manageable.

It's the fear that if we let it will be our demise. And life's too short to bow down to a monster that doesn't even really exist, that we created ourselves. So let's commit to being the ones who find calm when others panic and see opportunity where others see hardship and see what can be gained when others remain fixated on what has been lost. I love to simplify to find clarity in that which appears overwhelming and complex. So here's the formula.

You minus negative thoughts equals infinite possibility. You are capable of handling anything life throws at you. In terms of potential and resources and ability, you are. You can overcome. The only thing that can make a situation debilitating or permanent is you decide. it so therefore the obstacle will never be life it will be your thoughts about life your thoughts determine how you react that is reality is it a lost job or an opportunity to begin again to grow to fall in love with something you've always wanted to do is it

lost time loneliness tragic seclusion or a chance to write chapter one of your Scene 1 of your movie lay the first brick of what will become your empire. I've been sad and I've been happy and I've been broke and I've had money. And I've felt alone and I've felt loved. But through it all, every step, every trial, every tribulation I've come out stronger. Battle-hearteded, cognizant of the fact that happiness was a choice, money is really. acquireable that some people go but the ones that matter stay a part of you forever. Life is a gift. It's a gift when things are hard. It is a gift when they are easy.

It is always a gift. So don't let your losses define you. If you get back up it is nothing short of a victory. Armor that you now wear as you make your way into the world. A world that can push you down, but it certainly can't keep you there, not if you don't let it. For your mind, your body, your soul, made of the same elements that surround you, the same stars comprising the universe, they have equipped you to weather any storm, Outlast any earthly dilemma to anything and be anyone. Never forget that. Never forget who you are.

I'll never forget listening to Jim Rohn. I was taking a walk in the middle of the day. I needed to get out, decompress, rethink, realign. And this message came through my headphones. my headphones. He said, we must all suffer from one of two pains, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. And I needed that. I needed that because sometimes we forget why. In the midst of the day-to-day, the trials and tribulations of life, we forget why we endure. And there's a strange dichotomy that exists,

because you know, you can't measure discomfort that hasn't arrived yet. You can't identify regret that hasn't materialized. Yet in a way, you have to. You have to somehow make that tangible. You have to know that sacrifices of today deliver you from the angle. of I wish, or if only, or maybe I could have. I've heard it said that humans' ability to delay gratification is what makes us so unique, incredible even. But that doesn't mean it comes easy.

So as I walked, I became reacquainted with the trust that I had in myself in the future and the steps I was taking. It wasn't that I'd reached some grand finale, but that I gave myself permission to stop constantly expecting one. Worrying when things didn't go as planned, feeling disgusted with myself when I fell short. This is, after all, part of a process. And if one stays the course, builds a foundation of discipline to guide them towards what they believe in, things will evolve. We feel uncertain because new things don't have a precedent, at least not a personal one.

And that feeling of, I wish I knew or had some predictability, it's real, it's common. But if minimizing regret is what means the most, then it also means that we must have the discipline to walk steadfast into the unpredictability of tomorrow. A long-term sustained discipline. And one of my favorite interviews, Brony Ware, who wrote the top five regrets of the dying, was talking about surrender and how she mentioned in her book, Letting Go. And I asked her, can you explain that? What's the angle?

Because the way I look at life, there's always something you can do. You can always improve your situation somehow. And she basically said, it's not about what you can control, what you can do. It's about putting yourself in position to live the life you want to live, and then letting go of that which you cannot control. It's about not worrying over external forces as you walk your path, because all you can do in life is walk your path. And that became the marker. Or the question, am I walking my path? Right?

Now look at it like this. First, a vision gives you direction. Purpose, keeps you excited, injects meaning into life. Second, discipline keeps you moving, becomes the tiny steps that transport you through your pursuit of meaning. And third, trust in the process. That you are here to give everything you have to give, and then the rest, as Bruni says, must be surrendered. But the reason I bring this up is because, Because all of it fits together like a puzzle, like three pillars of a Parthenon.

And when people reach out to me all the time, they're upset that they're not as disciplined as they'd like to be. And they're listening to the speeches, they're watching the videos, they're absorbing the content, trying to improve. But nothing seems to get the engine going. And I'm wondering, what is your North Star? What are you aiming for? Because as far as I'm concerned, it's impossible to be disciplined if you don't have a reason.

You know, when Jim Rohn states that the pain is in ounces now, well, there's an implicit, compared to what being asked, right? Compared to that top of the mountain that you'd presumably miss out on. So if the mountaintop's not defined, you're on a fool's errand. That's why I had so much trouble with my old career, for example. It's hard to be disciplined. There's no buy-in on the purpose. Using my previous metaphor, it's little steps, sure, but towards what?

If you don't know, it's only practical then to look around and ask yourself, why am I taking them? Why not go drink with my friends? Why not stream this series on Netflix until 4 a.m.? Why not skip the workout? You can listen to people on YouTube scream at you to do more and be more and try harder all day, but without that piece, it will not get you very far. A vision, the discipline to pursue it, and a trust in the process. And you could say the same with someone who might have a clear vision, a dream, a perfect idea of what they want,

but never take action, right? The discipline never materializes. It makes the endeavor just as meaningless. Things don't change until you take that big picture, that vision, and you break it down into little things you can do every day. That's it. And isn't that amazing? The greatest, most influential people from the friends and family that inspire us, to the greatest athletes and entertainers, to our greatest thinkers, creators, world leaders, all they do is a handful of things consistently every day in the direction of something that is meaningful to them. A process that has been talked about since the beginning

of time. The compound effect, as Darren Hardy calls it. That breakthrough was huge for me. The realization that I don't need to leap any mountain. I just need to ascend. One tiny rock at a time, and that is not a superhuman ability. That is a single decision. So here the question isn't, can you be more disciplined? Of course you can. The question is, which few things are most meaningful to you? Which will you be focusing on every day so that they expand and inject value into you in the world?

And then, lastly, there is trust, sometimes the most difficult, seeing the unseen, maintaining confidence in that which is unknown. An incredibly challenging expectation in an instantaneous world, a world where things are immediate, feedback is immediate. Messages are sent across the planet instantaneously. goods and services arrive within hours. We have forgotten patience because it is disintegrating before our very eyes. We are a society of now, but the best things in life, they take time. They require that we hold up our end of the bargain and that we trust life will fall into place.

belief in a process that will come to mean more than anything that arrives in 30 seconds ever could. A vision, the discipline to pursue it, and a trust in the process. So perhaps you're overdue for your midday walk, your little excursion into the soul, to ask yourself, what is it you are moving towards? Why are you doing what you're doing? Does it mean something? And if not, perhaps some adjustment is in order. Perhaps you've lost sight of that North Star that lights up our lives and illuminates the way.

Take solace in the fact that life is not as serious as we make it out to be. We don't live in a world of right and wrong, good and bad, yes and no, but a continuum. an opportunity to seek out and find the beautiful ups and the meaningful downs to set our sights on the horizons that matter. See, when the little things feel too complex or burdensome, it's because the big things are misaligned, and that is a powerful idea to grasp. It's never that life is too difficult. It's that we have closed our eyes.

So don't be fooled by those selling you reality as some problem, some obligation that must be dealt with. No, today is the greatest gift of your lifetime. And the same will be true every day moving forward. And to echo Jim Rohn, absolutely it is a great gift of your lifetime. Absolutely, it is a gift comprised of sacrifice, discomfort along the way. But that's a small price to pay for entry to the show. For the ability to embrace the mystery and embark upon the adventure when you're pointed to the right north star, while the road, it feels less treacherous on your feet, the hills

less strenuous on your legs, what we often deem to be a lack of preparedness, ability, strength, well, might just be a lack of alignment. So adjust, because this world, flexible and limitless, invites you to do just that. It invites you to explore until you've uncovered your vision, to pursue it like nothing else, matters, to sidestep the obstacles, invert the setbacks, and lastly to find hope when there appears to be none. To set your sails, walk your path, run your race and surrender to that which is beyond your control.

And you'll find that with a vision, with discipline, with trust in the process, there is no situation or circumstance outside the scope of what's possible for you. What's one thing I wish I knew when I was younger that I think people could benefit from today? What single piece of information could have the biggest impact? I spent some time thinking about this question, and the more I think about it, the more the answer becomes incredibly apparent. It's that you are in control.

of your own life, your own destiny, your own future. And when you take accountability for yourself, life changes. Period. And if you thought that was obvious, I would advocate taking a look around. Maybe a stroll through social media, the Twitters and Instagrams, and TikToks of today. And no, that's not the real world, but it's certainly a microcosm of the real world. What do you see? Well, you see chronic blame?

I don't like where I'm at or things are, so that must be your fault or their fault or someone else's fault. You see people looking everywhere but in the mirror. Actually seeking out victimhood. Because that's what brings the attention. That's today's currency. It's much easier to be the victim than the hero because being the hero means you have to sacrifice something. It's people saying the news or some instance. institution or the federal government is the problem, and if those things would only change, then we'd be good.

Let me explain why I think this mentality is self-sabotage, and why I would take younger me by the hand, and I would say listen to what I'm about to tell you. Where you start is often outside of our control. Let's be real, life is not fair. We don't all get done. We don't all get done. felt the same hand. But this next part, as I once heard Will Smith articulate beautifully, is the same for everyone. What you decide to do about it right now is what matters. And that is the control that we all have. It's not your fault where you start, but it's your responsibility to choose where you end up. You can shake your fist at the sky or you can start building a life that matters to you.

It's easy to blame the world, to be the victim, at least in the short term. But a fulfilling life is about meaning, about fighting for something valuable, about evolving into the version of yourself that you always knew in your heart you could be, you just had to unlock. See, no one down the road was ever happy with the man. themselves for blaming the world while they bitterly remained stagnant. I would say to a younger me, worry less about how you're perceived and think more about who you are, what you're capable of, because that you can always control.

Stop losing yourself in the news or whatever the narrative of the day is. That has nothing to do with your progression, has nothing to do with your very next step. So sure, be informed, but do more, consume less. Because by and large, it's a distraction. And I would say the government, which has become the crux of our discourse today, transforming into a modern-day religion, look, the government's job is not to give you anything. It's there to protect what's inherent to you already. Your right to live life on your terms.

See, satisfaction. It will come from good habits. It will come from self-belief. It will come from taking risks and failing and learning. It will come from the courage to step out into a world that's completely unknown. It will never come from a self-interested politician or body in Washington, red or blue. So stop whining about political optics and focus on where your two feet are taking you right now. Because I promise in the grand scheme of things, that's what meant.

That is your strength. Expecting someone else to come along and change your life is like screaming into an abyss. I would say to my younger self, when you start looking around and seeing what everyone else has, and beating yourself up for not being as good or feeling like you're behind, look, it's great that their success motivates you, but dwelling on it won't make your life better. better. Life is a race between you and you. It's a fight between yourself and those thoughts that constantly knock on the door, looking to settle into your psyche. If you defeat that demon, you'll be where you want to be, regardless of where others are. You're right where you need to be,

so keep your head up and keep moving forward. I'd explain that to become something more, to change, requires a sacrifice that feels so substantial, so big at first, that it bullies most people in just staying right where they are. That to become something new, you have to learn to play the fool, to get humbled, you have to change your relationship with short-term failure. And that's not easy. But taking control of your life is not supposed to be easy, only worth it. They're different.

And I can certainly look back at my own life, think about the times where I was so busy pointing out that I didn't even think to point the finger at myself. I was so worried about life being unfair that I existed in this temporary state of paralysis. The whole time not knowing that I could have been stepping forward. Could have been tapping into the single greatest power I possess, I possess, control over my own life.

See, every time you feel anger or the need to blame those around you, you're taking the spotlight off of what matters and placing it on things detrimental to where you want to be, to your journey and your future. Even the most unjust, arbitrary things, let's say you didn't get that promotion you were beyond qualified for, where you were mistreated by someone

or things didn't go the way you want. You can fill in that blank, but refusing to blame others and immediately taking responsibility. Again, even in a situation like that, it gives you one of the greatest advantages in life. It gives you that gift of control. You can now assess the situation. You can now ask yourself, hey, what can I do to change this? You can delve into the why, find the lessons and the value. you can come back and re-approach this thing stronger.

Because to blame others, to take on that role of victim, it's essentially living life in the passenger seat. It might be easier. It might be less work, less responsibility, but what you never have is control over where that car goes. But when you own it, when you say, hey, maybe it's not my fault, but look, it's mine now. It's my responsibility.

The good, the bad, every aspect of my life, it puts you in position to change things, to take the wheel and reroute to a destination of your choosing. So that would be my message to the world. I know it's not an easy road. I know life is unfair. I know things aren't perfect, but the best thing you can ever do for yourself

is say, you know what, this is mine to own. And I'm going to look around for that, light switch that will create momentum. That little decision that will get the ball rolling, I'm not going to sit back, shake my fist and blame life. I'm going to walk out that door and create life. That's where you'll find what you're truly looking for.