Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - LOVE | Best Motivational Speeches Compilation | Listen Every Day | Morning Motivation

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that something can hurt. Like, really hurt. Like, bring you to your knees hurt and still be the right thing. I've been avoiding this for years, not because I don't think about you, or because life has moved so far, so fast, that I've forgotten the path that brought me here. But because the opposite is true.

Because in a way, you'll always be home and I'll always have a proclivity towards that calm. As much as my head screams for chaos, my heart begs for peace. And what's a make of that perpetual tug-of-war? I don't know. I guess life is just a funny thing. See, I remember you looking at me as you walked out the door that day. Saying Eddie, I believe that you will make it. Whatever you do, I just hope you don't get there and find yourself alone. And I think about that all the time, as my road has certainly been a lonely one.

I'll never forget feeling like I gave away one arm so that I could keep the other. Or sitting there, looking at the pictures, we hung, the furniture, we bought the pile of clothes, next to the suitcase on the floor and thinking that Boston would always remind me of you and that I had to go. I'll never forget seeing this skyline in the rear view and thinking how absolutely insane it is to leave what you love in pursuit of something

that you don't know that can't be explained. I couldn't articulate it then and I still really can't now. when to choose what you know over what you feel. I don't understand, I guess, life is just a funny thing. And that next year, well, it was one of the most challenging of my life. But who was I to let you know to say anything? To start a fire and then complain about the smoke, right? That pain that was mine to deal with.

But I worried. I worried that maybe you thought, I thought it was easy for me, that I carried on or brushed it off like it meant nothing, that you didn't know how grateful I was for every second with you. You know, I get asked a lot about life or someone who writes about it every day. I guess it sort of comes with the territory. But the truth is, I'll never really be able to answer those questions until time has told the story, until history becomes the judge,

whether our sacrifices are really worth it, and maybe that's precisely what pulls me in. I guess life is a funny thing. And could it be that I find the top, should I arrive to be a lonely place? But in all honesty, I want it anyway. More than life itself I wanted, and I can't justify it or rationalize it

or quantify it, but I know it to be true. I'm sure wherever you are out there, you're doing amazing, inspiring others like you inspired me, brightening the days of the people around you like you did mine. Because the truth is, I do love you. And I always will, even if we were two ships passing in the night. That moment in time is as much a part of me as I am a part of it. And life, that funny thing, will most definitely be better because you are and will continue

to be a part of it. Sincerely yours. The clothes only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades. Where we are today has changed. Sometimes life pulls us in ways we'd never expect. dreams to hold, egos to protect, it hurts to wander. So we wonder what's correct, what did they expect? Lately, my friend, when we talk, I can hear it in your voice.

It's like you're so down right now. You've forgotten. Up is even a choice. You've forgotten sometimes it's what you don't see that destroys. So maybe a timely reminder, a simple one-liner, You can briefly fill that void. Because when we look back years from now, you'll appreciate this moment in time. It's the uphill that shapes the path we need most in our lives.

And look, I've known you for too long to ever believe you'd simply get by. Trust me, please. You're right where you need to be the beginning of the story of a lifetime. Sometimes we need lifelines. Because we miss the greatness in ourselves. It's like everyone else is winning. What we watch in self-made cells. And often my mind goes back to July,

jumping down rabbit holes and writing voices I remember when we realize that the beautiful ones through good and bad times, they dream with open eyes. The sunrise over Carolina lakes illuminates all that makes life great and legends they run their own race. race and they have their own fate to grasp with new worlds and no maps have said it a million times with a million lines a beautiful soul it wanders off track and goes all

the way down to the ground floor built with a metaphor is that Ferrari and Park thing remember that it seems like the ones who can change the world are so hard on themselves that they stay on a shelf and they just observe and they should be hurt and I've doubted myself before lesson learned you have a journey to hell and back hell yeah it hurts but don't believe in yourself then what's this for Don't like the reflection well, and there's nothing more than a myth, so I'll gladly admit that you've lifted me up before Here's a hand heart to real to be ignored So here's to tomorrow to the growth the loss the ups the downs and ya

Even occasional sorrows with grand plans stretching the universe free hand and you'll figure it out because that's what you've always been about And today's the beginning of something incredible a pursuit never ending a trip unforgettable You'll soon reminisce of the places you've been off and the life that you lived. But right now, my friend, your story begins. Sometimes when I need to take a step back and think, I like to listen to the sound of waves on the beach, crashing in their beautiful simplicity.

As quickly as they come, they go. Proceeding back into that vast ocean from which they arrived. They were an instant, lightning in a bottle, this gentle reminder that all we have is right now. Sure, there's a future, but that's just a right now that hasn't arrived yet. And maybe there's a past, but isn't that just a right now come and gone? We're a collection of these singular moments in time, a product of the stars aligned. The stars aligning the universe conspiring to put us right here, right now, and the truth is. We can come back to the location.

We can even attempt to recreate it, but it will never be what it was in that moment. Because every moment is different than the one that precedes it, and every breath takes in something new, and every glance sees just a little differently. Every second is the first. the last and the only, like waves pulsating through our veins for the very first. Why not soak in the warmth of the sunrise? Lose yourself in the depths of world's undiscovered. Why not chase down that spot where the road meets the horizon? Taste the sweetness in every sip. Dance under the glow of the moon, laugh like nothing else matters.

Why not cherish right now, this moment in time? So when the tide reaches down and calls for its inevitable retreat, me the magic will remain. Being lost is not about what you don't have. It's about temporarily forgetting what you do have. Forgetting that contained within every dark room is a little light switch

that hangs within an arm's reach. And see, the reason this is so powerful, the reason it's been so important to me, is because every time I'm in a lull or navigating a low point like we all do, I remember something that acts as that hand to pull me back up. I remember that everything I need, I have.

See, I used to use the word stock as to imply immobility, being powerless to the outside world when, in reality, I just had to remind myself that the path to recreation is always in front of me. And the map needed to navigate is always for, folded up in my back pocket. In essence, what I learned is that helpless is not a situation. Helpless is a decision. And one I'd simply never choose.

Life's challenges. They are not a display of your insufficiency. No, they are a reminder of just how powerful you are. If you never let yourself fall, yourself fall, hit a low, or lose your way. You'd never get to see the miracle that is your resiliency. You'd never get to look in the mirror and see the reflection that is the conqueror of worlds and the slayer of dragons. You'd never get to climb the mountain from which you'd ultimately look and see a world of your making. Remember the little things. The ones where you're

we all come to appreciate, perhaps, a little too late. That feeling of comfort, our little eyes first understood to be home. Those little conversations we still think about, the ones that shaped us. Those little stretches of time we thought would last forever, but to our surprise, had a final moment written into the story. Oh, those little things. I remember going to a concert in high school. It was at the Orphium in Boston, Massachusetts.

I went with two of my friends. Had an amazing time in, well, years. And years have obviously passed. And recently I asked myself, what is it I remember about that day? Why is it such a powerful moment for me? And interestingly enough, I don't remember any of the songs that were sung.

Or how I remember. well they were played. I don't remember what I bought or what I wore or what teenage troubles I was going through at the time, no years later. I remember how it felt to stand there in the center of that theater. Color of the lights filling up the room, the bass drum resonating in my chest, aligning with my heartbeat, the people I was with. And the funny thing is, 17-year-old me had no clue he was driving into the city for a night he'd remember forever but not because of the music no because of a feeling because he would spend the time with the same people he would have hung out with anyway at home and perhaps subconsciously i knew perhaps we all do but at the time

it all felt like details the time they were simply included in the story a buy one get one if you well. Oh, how they hide themselves, those little things. In a way, it's not too different from the oxygen. We breathe in and breathe out, intertwined in everyday life, necessary to carry on, to grow, to evolve, yet only missed when it's gone. We don't think about the air we breathe unless of course we are submerged and without it. So why, why does this matter? Why put this thought to paper? Well, because to use my previous concert hall metaphor,

I've spent so much of my life thinking about the stage presence, the accuracy of the notes, the visual appearances, the wrong things. It seemed intuitive, overwhelmingly, but now they're just reminders how easily we can walk on what matters to get our hands on what doesn't. Do we know what's important? Do we know what we hold dear? Do we think enough about those little things? Every time the caller ID says mom or dad or nana banana,

when my little brother and sister get new apartments, jobs, promotions start navigating this crazy world, every time I open my laptop and get to bleed my thoughts onto a blank page over a cup of coffee and a sunrise. Running around random towns across this country with my best friends bringing ideas to life. See, the now tells you they are nice things, happy things, lovely things. But it doesn't let you in on the greatest secret of all. all, those little things just might be everything. So see them while you're in them and hold on tight. Living is easy. It's my inability to die that kills me. My hesitance to lock my old persona up and place it within the ship's cargo hold, watch it sail away to some far off place. Maybe for a

a minute, maybe forever. But the bird has to be uncaged. It must unlearn its constraints. It must metaphorically die to transcend that which it knew itself to be. I think we all have wings. I think very few of us put them to use. And isn't that the challenge? Perhaps we're too busy living. I've always had the ability. Now I've captured the fleeting awareness. Next, I must obtain the courage. Because the rule, the truth, the beacon of light to be followed, is we're always one decision away from a totally different life.

If dare I decide to take the mask off, that's been so effectively fooling others that I've begun to fool myself. Dare I decide to play new games with new rules to see life with new eyes? Perhaps upside down. But when your sight is finally, finally set on infinity, when you're looking at the clouds while lying on your back, who's right, them or you? Who gets the honor of deciding?

And sometimes I wonder how far we need to walk. understand that the danger isn't stepping into a new pair of shoes. It's thinking you need to walk the same path down the same street in the same pair of shoes you've had on your entire life. Strange, peculiar according to previous cognitive mappings, but maybe they're crazy is your oxygen. Maybe crazy is pure. It's desirable. It's been the goal all along and well where I thought I dedicated my life to its pursuit I see how wrong I was to think something new could emerge no not without the death of the old not without that caricature of myself slipping away not without that ship taking everything every last thing I

want roots ripped from the ground I want new here rows and new villains, new street signs telling of new roads, new tears from eyes stimulated by that which I've never seen, the increased rhythm of a new heartbeat, in anticipation of all that lies ahead, new beginnings, maybe for a minute, or maybe forever. I'll let you know once I learn to die. Do you ever wonder how much of you has materialized? Like if what F. Scott Fitzgerald says is true, and our lives are defined by opportunity,

even the ones we miss, then how much remains in the ether? And I don't think it's about playing a game of what if. You know, that would be endless. It would be self-defeating. No one's perfect. I don't even really think it's about making a right turn instead of a left. Because as long as you're moving and moving with conviction, life ultimately

brings you where you need to be. But more, my concern is the steps never brought to people. My ideas on the hatch, my opportunities, I either knowingly or unknowingly left on the shelf. Because it didn't seem real enough. Like a Broadway play between my ears that as a spectator I knew would end. After all, that's what stories do. How much of ourselves have we cast aside as simply the things we don't say out loud? At first it's infinite. We've yet to be taught to limit because limits aren't things, their ideas, and ideas must be adopted. That's why they say some of the life's best things were done by people too ignorant to know they were impossible,

too naive of the notion that they couldn't say them out loud. Then it's comparison, they have what I want. But it was meant for them and not me. not me. How delusional to think I could have it. How crazy to think that life has yet to be written. And I am an author. My date is with normalcy in the box where I keep those things we don't say out loud. And then we look around and we see highlight reels. We see awards and vacations and smiles. But we don't stop to think maybe they're just like me. Maybe they're people who struggle and question themselves and doubt the road ahead. No, it must be the past diverged. They took happiness

and I took those things we don't say out loud, and then there's everyday life when things don't go as planned, when the world presents curveballs, and you haven't learned to hit off speed, so you feel small, and you feel inadequate and ill-equipped, and you could reach out, but that's not cool, that's not right. That's something that you don't say out loud, but we keep it in, like all in,

and eventually it becomes the if-only's, and I wish I had, it's the quiet envy-gazing longingly towards those who just cared less, who realize maybe life's not as serious as we make it out to be, who turn thoughts to things, not by burying, but by embodying them. And maybe that's the trick to unlock the gate, keeping your perceived reality from the possibility of a new one. The one you could create, if only you promoted your fleeting thoughts to forward progress. See, dreams can fail to come to fruition in two places,

in your head and outside of it. But at least outside, it has a chance. At least outside, you can take the common, normal, everyday background and make it the back drop to your movie where you play a lead role. But it must be accepted and acknowledged, not thought of or even whispered, but screened so that the details and the trivialities that exist now work for you. That's right, they are now yours. Not because you thought about it, but because you reached out a hand and you took. You asked the world for something. And in life, it will always be true that you don't get what you do not ask for.

So when you find yourself staring up a wall comprised of self-defeating narratives and manufactured limits, be ignorant, be irrational, be the reason your dreams have a chance. And when you look around and you see more and wonder why you don't have it, know that you can, you're allowed to, if you sacrifice, you will, But you must believe you are worthy of it. Not in the back of your head where you keep your locker combo in movie quotes, but in reality where words bounce off lips. And when you feel like life is treating you unfairly, like they're happier or have it better,

know that life is peaks and valleys, not just for you but for everyone. And how you internalize that and carry on makes the difference. And when you feel lost or stuck, You are not hopeless, but in progress. Being broken down so that you can be reconstructed, stronger, better. Victory is not in hiding those struggles, but accepting them as the difference, as the reason you created the miraculous.

Not because you had dreams, but because you said them out loud. When it comes to the almost 8 billion people on planet Earth, There's undoubtedly a variance in the resources at our disposal, the influence we have. What we all share is the ability to rule over our own lives, our own thoughts. As Thoreau said, think for yourself, or others will think for you without thinking of you. See, life moves quickly. And if one is unable to slow it down to examine the world around them, well, they'll fight them. themselves a cog in the wheel of their own existence, a pawn on the chessboard of life.

Because reality is a battle. A battle of self-interest that requires that we build walls around that which is precious, that we protected it all costs. Your worldview is the foundation for everything of value in your life, yet it's constantly under attack. Attack from the negativity at the gate. The suffering, attempting to breach the walls, the outside influences, praying that you'll outsource your thinking, that you'll let them rule from afar.

To maintain control over your own outlook, it's no small feat. It's perhaps the most important battle of your life. It's the difference between intentionality and chance. The role of the ruler or the ruled. As the saying goes, if you don't build your dream, you will spend your days building someone else's. If you don't ask yourself what you want in life, those needs will ultimately be buried under nonsensical obligation that takes their place. Where there are vacuums in awareness that you will be filled, usually not by actors with the same interests as you. See, mistakes are not the problem.

No mistakes mean you're present, driving towards something, collecting data for this experiment that is life. It's autopilot that destroys. Like that frog put in a pot heating up so slowly it never knows to jump out. The external world becomes its demise. And this message isn't to instill fear or intimidate. It's to remind you to ask the question that so few ask. How is my life best lived and what can I do to bring that to reality?

If you can think for yourself, you're never out of the fight. If you can think for yourself, you're always a decision away from advancement in the direction of that which matters most. So trust you to do what's right for you. In a world where no one knows what they're doing, I can assure you you don't need external endorsements or stamps of approval. Take Robert Frost, road less traveled by and don't look back. Don't feel remorse.

That's where you're forced to find yourself, to ask the tough questions to embrace who you are. Because the crowd is antithetical to rationality. Not just because responsibility dissipates. Not just because human beings become essentially well-dressed chimpanzees, but because rarely on the micro level is the collective goal, your goal. Have the courage to see that. Have the courage to understand that life is not an instruction manual.

Everything around you you have in one way or another accepted. And in accepting it, you have chosen it. By not saying no, you have in fact said yes. So realize that the world around you doesn't change until your thoughts become the bridge that connects current to future, today to tomorrow. Until you realize life can't make you a victim or a pawn on its chestboard without your permission, whether implicitly or explicitly.

No, you have the ability to think, control, orchestrate something greater than what's in front of you. Let today be your next courageous step in the direction of that reality. Just go. Sure, things will feel strange at first. Abstract at first, wrong at first. It's incredibly difficult to separate from the past. It's hard to detach from the deeply rooted biological whispering of, hey, at least you knew what to expect back there.

But that whispering has preservation in mind, not happiness. And at some point, we need to stop preserving that which is not ideal. So go. The walls that once existed, they'll crumble. And this will be startling at first. Shocking at first, intimidating at first. It's incredibly difficult to watch foundational structures crumble around us, especially when you know you are the one that lit the fuse.

It's hard to walk away from the faint murmur stating, hey, this was your home. How dare you leave it? But those words, they have status quo in mind, not growth. And home is an idea you take with you. It's no set of parameters. Just go. The stories you told yourself, the narratives you thought were forever,

will prove to be nothing more than the end of an underwhelming chapter. This will feel abrupt at first. Unfair at first will leave you deeply unsatisfied at first. It's incredibly difficult to realize that happily ever afters aren't linear, they're cyclical. It's hard to walk away from the voices pleading with. you not to turn the page, stating that because their realities will remain the same, so must yours. But those aren't the characters with whom you'll emerge victorious. Some movies must be recast, the setting, reimagined, the hero reinvented.

And so it should be known that your greatest strength, is the little steps that you are capable of taking. The little decisions you are capable of making. And remember, safety is not safe when it keeps you from what you need, and the wrong nows have a tendency to evolve into the wrong forever. The small concessions, well, they become the big mistakes. So if it's a sign you're hoping for, let this be it. If there's a time you're waiting for, let now be that time.

If it's someday you are dependent upon, let today be that day, as doing nothing is in fact a decision, but only one of many. One path laid out before you, one single grain of sand, where the edge of today's world touches the shores of tomorrow's. Sometimes it's about the ability to stand up, face the horizon, and just go. because it's only upon going that you realize you're capable of the journey. You finally see in yourself the strength you've longed for. It's in going that you realize yesterday's situation wasn't even really the problem.

It was your fear of the unknown, of leaving that situation. It was living with the devil you knew, instead of potentially having to face the having to face the devil you didn't. That's what happened to your wings. They just felt safer tucked away. But it's ingoing that we acquire perspective. The tragedies, the devastation, the things that kept us awake at night, they really weren't that bad, but how are we to know?

When you build walls around yourself, what's within them becomes your entire world. It's in going that you create yourself. And while everything you need is already beating in your chest, the great unknown before you is the water to that seed, the key to that door, what you fear is exactly what you need. And so the beautiful dance through life goes on. Not beautiful because of its elegance, it's rarely the Rarely that, but beautiful because of its promise, its malleability.

Beautiful because we get to move without answers in order to find answers. Beautiful because what we become is directly proportional to what we're willing to endure. And that means that the universe doesn't judge. It doesn't know us by our failures or our mistakes. But by our courage, our courage to face all of these things and move forward anyway. To relentlessly explore the resilience of the human spirit. An infinite light in an otherwise finite world, a bridge that is built beneath our feet in real time. What a weight off of our shoulders to know this.

We don't have to get it right. We just have to step out the door trusting that we will pick up enough pieces to put together something meaningful. We just have to go. And then the world, it opens up. Just like that. Leave the old, embrace the new, simple you think to yourself. Well, yeah, of course, the best things in life are always simple. Always have been, always will be.

We just imagine them to be difficult. We have a knack for making simple decisions into complex matrices of cause and effect. Pros and cons, wins and losses. We learn to think for years. Until we finally come to the brilliant realization that happiness, that meaning that a life well lived comes when we think less. Ready, fire, aim. there is no perfect path, just an adjusted course, an endless series of change,

of learning that falling is just a road sign indicating where we need to go next. You can't plan for that. You can't chart a course that doesn't exist. No, you leave who you were yesterday behind, and you set sail. They'll ask you, where do you see yourself in five years, and you'll ask you, where do you see yourself in five years, and you'll you'll think who knows. But not here, it couldn't be here, it must be somewhere evolved, where pieces of the world shaped your outlook and became the armor that you now wear.

New game, new rules, new expectations, new people, new places, and what really changed? Well, how you view yourself. It's funny how it all works. things come together when we look over our shoulders like it was meant to be as if this had to be the way things are no you could very easily have stayed dreaming looking out that window wishing you could leave hoping for answers that didn't exist and so the complex now feels as simple as we meant it to we move forward not knowing but trusting and we look back with a sense of understanding and a confidence that was built over time.

In the game of life, there are people who go and people who stay. People who build and people who don't. And I'm not saying everything will be perfect or everything will immediately snap into place. How could I? But what I am sad is that in moving forward we pull back the curtain on the opportunity that is available to us. We move from the physical limitations of the bodies we walk around in, and towards the infinite power of the mind,

that powers them. We become who we were always meant to be. How do we know what that is? Well, not until we look over our shoulders, of course. So go. Go make your mistakes. Go learn your lessons. Feel your moments of pain and your moments of bliss.

your times of doubt and your times of certainty. Because in doing so, you will have done the very thing so few people get to do with their limited time on this planet. Truly live. So go. Just that to find ourselves requires we must first lose ourselves is, I believe, life's greatest paradox.

leaving that carousel of comfort, the predictability of what we know, the certainty of who we believe ourselves to be. For a promise with no real guarantee of being kept, well, it's nothing short of irrational. Are the odds in our favor, perhaps not. But by stepping off, by placing our bets on a different track with a different pride, with a different prize, at a different time, we have increased those odds from zero to,

well, I guess we decide. And see, the world teaches us that it's advantageous to spin. A spinning carousel is predictable. It can't be cheated. There's very little room for loss, or humiliation, or setbacks, or even life to get in the way. You know where you start, and you know where you end,

and that's just the thing. This spinning world is so, easy that people don't want to leave. In fact, it's not until you walk away from the crowd that you even face the unknown. And that's precisely why it's so hard to walk alone. It's hard, it's challenging because of the now. Not because the now can't be measured or understood, no, we get it. But because there's this little whisper in the back of our heads that the now might go on and on and on forever,

that that check will never be cashed, the summit never reached. No, just footsteps down a perpetually long, windy road. And that's, you know, when maybe, just maybe we miss that carousel. We miss the safety and security. And that's what sometimes makes it such a stressful thing to walk alone.

We think about all of ourselves, our mind, our heart we've left behind along the way. Truths, we now have to face things. They never taught us on that carousel. We had to learn that we were wrong about who'd be by our side through it all. We could no longer hide behind the notion that when things got tough, someday everyone, everything would be there would be the same. We learned to swim by jumping. jumping into the deep end, seeing in real time that people only believe it already exists.

What's put in front of them. That ideas are empty. That a dream is a language only spoken by its creator. And if you want it to mean anything, you must dedicate your life to translating it. We learn how much is backwards, how much of life is reactive. That success is being one of the few who don't react, but build a world to react to. And in the thick of it all to internalize the process, because talking while talking does nothing, plans are just potential energy confined to your pocket. You have to be okay growing that seed by yourself. Like a runner making her way past a crowd, right? The crowd sees calm, sees peace, sees the finesse of an athlete, gliding over the pavement. They have no idea the war being fought behind her eyes. The silencing

of constant whispers to slow down to do less, the repression of pain that consumes her to such an extent it can't even really be pinpointed. It just kind of floats over her body. They'll never know that. And what we learn is that they don't need to. It's the truth. And see, it's also what makes it quite lonely to walk alone. Walking alone, well, it's a lot of things. But it's never boring. It's never dull. And if you can hang in there long enough, without even noticing the headwind you've been fighting, it becomes a tailwind. And where we may have felt alone, the idea pops into our heads that maybe that's not quite right. If anything, the wind at our back is now momentum.

It's a partner along the way. That carousel, yeah, it's still spinning, but somewhere else. Some far off place beyond our field of vision. And no, things don't ever become easy. We wouldn't want that. But difficulty is interpreted. differently now. Not a burden, but a cost, and one we'd gladly continue to pay. And that space, that once felt so empty, so desolate, so helpless, well now it's made up of people who see what you see, who hopped off their own carousels and wandered through the desert, they too who navigated through the impossible and the never been done. It's funny how at some point we always find each other.

And I suppose now, having traded the carousels for the adventure, we can walk alone together. Us against the world, standing up in defiance of the awe, chasing that glimmer of hope, in on a pursuit to find what most won't and see what most can't. Not because we were made different, but because we chase down the idea of different. It gets a tough rap walking alone. And in so many ways, it's a fight. It takes all of you. But you don't come out the same person you were when you step in.

The same person you'd still be today had you stayed on that carousel. So if you are still spinning, step off. And if you have, if you're still adjusting to the discomfort of reality, if you're making your way through the hell of uncertainty, or questioning whether you have what it takes or have the strength to commit, I promise. In fact, you're right where you need to be. So don't be distracted by those screaming of their successes or communicating, capturing every small win as they make their way around the carousel. It's the quiet ones who change themselves.

The ones who take life one step at a time, one battle at a time who redefine reality. And I'm sure you can't see it now. No one can. No one can see the sun amidst the storm, but you'll emerge. Stronger than you ever were. You will navigate towards the ideal and away from that life you once settled for. It's a long path, but it's worth it. So get up and let your feet guide the way.

Let's go walk alone. I want to start with a story. about cliff jumping with my friends, maybe four years ago now, we flew into Las Vegas, spent some time in Vegas, and then we hit like national parks in Utah, and then Arizona went all the way up the coast. And we were in Lake Tahoe at the very end, there was this spot to cliff jump.

This really, really high peak. And you know, it's notorious, and it was just like a, a scary thing. And I remember walking up. There were three of us. And two other people were there. It's like you have to hike up to it. It's kind of in the woods a little bit.

One of my buddies walked up and, you know, we thought he was going to jump right off. And he stood there and he looked down. And he looked down for, I don't know how long, a while, you know, ultimately jumped. As far as I knew, I wasn't afraid of stuff like that. Right. So I walk out and I look over the edge and I could not bring myself to jump.

Physically, I couldn't do it. Rationally, I couldn't speak myself or talk myself into it. There was no more rationality going on. It was just I was frozen in fear. And I just remember sitting there and looking down. And, you know, people would come up and ask about it and they'd be like, you know, can I jump? And I'm like, go ahead. Right?

Like it almost got to the point where it was hurting my pride, and I still couldn't jump. And I just stood there, and I stood there, and I stood there. You know, I forget how long it took. I don't really know, and time was probably felt insane in that moment, but eventually I did, and it was incredible, right? It was a forever long drop in just the adrenaline and the excitement, and you realize for a second,

that type of thing, that's peak living. And there's more of that out there in the world. And all of a sudden you want to capture it and obtain it. And you realize what you had been missing. You know, and then my friend came up after me. He stood there for just as long too, right? It's just a very weird thing and it's hard to explain. There are so many situations

that are this peak in our life, this cliff, that we know we need to jump from. We know the other side is better or we suspect, but we can't bring ourselves to do it. And this all came from a quote I found, from John Green, one of my favorite authors. In his book Paper Towns, it says, It is so hard to leave until you leave.

And then it is the easiest goddamn thing in the world. And that's right on the money, right? Being on the edge of that cliff, it is terror, sheer terror. It is so hard to make that jump. And then you do, and it's like life opens up. And it's the same thing in this case, right? It's so hard to leave until you do. It's terrifying to uproot, to change, to go somewhere.

you don't know. But once you do, life opens up. It's incredible. The other side is beautiful. And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, a single point, a rule that I used to guide my decision making. And the rule is simple. If you are not content where you are, that is your reason to jump. Because on that clip, because on that clip, rationality dissolves. The future is unknown and it's scary. And how are you going to logically talk yourself into a scary unknown when you're at that point?

You can't. It doesn't make sense and I think that's why so many of us are scared to make that jump and we ultimately turn back and we can see it and go, okay, I'll just stick with what I have. This isn't great, but it is what it is. I can't bring myself myself to make that jump.

We're all there at some point. I've been there. I've been there with speaking. Big cliff for me when I first started. Ultimately jumped and put me on a trajectory that changed my life. Same thing with making videos. Same thing with my first client. Like all these things, they're terrifying.

And in the moment, you can't logically speak through them. So you just have to go. And it's like, well, how do you logically? You don't. You just go. because if the present, here's the rule, the present is not making you content, go, jump, right? Never forget that the path, the future is comprised of a trillion paths,

and you can bend them and shape them and remake them, and sometimes it won't work, sometimes it'll blow up in your face, but again, you're still presenting with an opportunity to adjust and remake and bend and re-approach and continue forward. Right, the only way to lose is to stay on that cliff for the rest of your life. And so if you needed some type of rationality, if you needed some type of reason,

I'm hoping that maybe I can give that to you today. If you are not content where you are, jump. Because somewhere along the way, you'll figure it out. Every time I've jumped, it's changed my life for the better. Maybe not immediately. But ultimately. And as I say, that's what life's all about. Hey, I hope you got something from this podcast.

If you did, please subscribe, rate review. Helps me get it out to the world. And, guys, I appreciate that. And I will catch you tomorrow. There's a quote attributed to Seneca that states, no man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.

meaning it's in pursuing the difficult thing that we obtain meaning, recognition that we prove ourselves, but prove ourselves to whom. This is the same Seneca who famously stated that we suffer more in imagination than we do in reality, that he is most powerful who has power over himself. And that's one of the beautiful things about Stoicism. It makes us ask a very simple, that often overlooked question, who's really the adversary here? Who's the opposition we're dealing with as we fight our battles?

What is it that must be transformed? Is it the outside world? Or the way our eyes view the outside world? What's really holding us back? The circumstances? Or our own personal thoughts about our own. the circumstances. And I think this is where we misunderstand the challenges before us.

I want to delve into this power of perspective to explain that we are the gatekeepers between ourselves and our ideal lives. And very often we do a good job of ensuring that gate stays closed. We sabotage our own goals, our own dreams, our own happiness, while simultaneously pointing the finger at a million externalities. See, when we look at the difficulties of life, and there's no doubt that life can be a very difficult thing, it's easy to look at the world as this binary playing field,

me versus the world. And in fact, we often visualize the world as the enemy pushing back against us, as if its motives were counter to ours. So many of these narratives, these stories, they actually say nothing about the outside world. And when we look deeper, it becomes apparent that they actually say a whole lot more about us. It's the one viewing that gets to decipher

what the circumstance means. And so all narratives are reflections of the observers. Jim Rohn used to tell a story about two brothers who had an alcoholic father. He'd come home drunk, he'd abuse his sons. They had a terrible childhood. And as they each grew up and had families of their own, their paths kind of diverged. One became abusive, and the other was kind and loving and caring. And when confronted, the now abusive brother stated, well,

Look, how can you blame me? Don't you see how I was raised? But the kind, loving, and caring brother stated, of course I'm like this. I could never put my family through what I went through as a child. Same circumstances. Different lenses, interpretations, which means different real world result. And the idea here is to emphasize how one of the most important abilities a human being possesses, is the ability to interpret the world around him.

I think of us as subjects navigating a world of objects, as though the things around us don't have meaning until we place meaning upon them. That's what humans do. Create narratives out of objects. And that often overlooked, seemingly insignificant ability, places a lot of power in our hands.

Very rarely is it what we see. It's what we think and what we do about what we see. You ever hang out with people that just tend to be happy, upbeat, positive energy? I have a very good friend like that where his first inclination is always to find the positive. In moments where I've sort of trained myself to pause, take a second. sift through the emotion, uncover the value in a tough situation, refocus, and take a strategic step forward. I look over at him and he's already arrived there. He's been there for three minutes, right?

Eliminated the negativity. It's his first instinct. He's the metaphorical kid hopping around in puddles, whistling at the top of his lungs, while everyone else is hiding out from the rain, or at least trying to find the courage to run out onto the street with. Then there are people who seem to always find the negative. It doesn't really matter what this situation is. Happiness is fleeting,

only to reveal the negativity that never seems to go away, right? The kind of person that if they won the lottery, their first thought might be, oh no, but what if I lose it all? Both examples are people projecting themselves onto the world around them. The same way that smoke covers and consumes an entire room. It's not the room that's the culprit. Here's another example from Jim Rohn, since we're on a Jim Rohn kick. He's making a similar point, and this is all from a collection of speeches.

He has on Audible, comparing humans to oranges, which is probably not a comparison you've made recently, but he said there's consistency to an orange and that it can be filled with one thing. When you squeeze an orange, orange juice is coming out. Period. It will never be apple juice or grape food juice. It will only emit what it has inside, which is orange juice. And while here's the connection. When life pressures us, challenges us, or metaphorically squeezes us,

we only emit the emotions that are contained and available, that are alive and well within us. If there is no jealousy contained in our thinking, we're not going to project jealousy out into the world. If there is no hatred within us, we will not project hatred onto others. Why is that powerful? It's powerful. Because, again, it's one of the most important things you can do.

Certainly one of the most important things I've learned to do is take that finger pointing blame at the outside world, slowly turn it around and point it back at myself, and ask, what thoughts, what emotions, what ideas am I letting live inside my head that's altering the narrative, the story I'm telling about myself and the world that I live in.

And while one might think, well, that's uncomfortable, that's unfair, a little extreme, why should I point at myself? It's not my fault. I would challenge you, at least for the sake of the next few minutes, to see such a change as empowering, as your advantage, as the bridge from where you are to where you want to be. See, if you always have feelings of, let's say, jealousy around a particular person, that feeling in your stomach like, oh, they have it all, they're ahead.

They live how I want to live. They're this and that, and I kind of hate them for it. naively giving the external world the power. You're saying I feel the way I do because of that out there. Some cosmic injustice, you are powerless because you're neglecting your personal agency as a factor. But when you turn that finger around and say, I only feel this way because I'm allowing myself to, then you can ask the question. So many never think to ask. Why? Why do I feel this way? Which lights a path to how can I fix it?

See, the key to a better life is realizing you don't have to be in the passenger seat pointing at and blaming the driver, complaining about the road being taken. No, you can get into the driver's seat. You can take the wheel. You can take control. Inherit responsibility. and there's more at stake, there's greater vulnerability. But the upside is unfathomable.

And I find myself thinking all the time, man, people are blaming the wrong things. They're shifting blame to the wrong adversaries. The real villain here is not the driver or the road or the weather. The real villain is the voice in your head pleading with you not to tell. take the wheel. Pleading with you to ride shotgun and complain as the world passes you by. And of course it makes sense to qualify that. With the inevitability that there are some things placed upon us that are just bigger than us,

that we can't control. And you can make a list however long you want to, natural disasters, decisions, and actions of others, health problems. We don't often get to choose the landscape. So as the Stoics would say, understand that. Understand what you can't control and what you can. Because the beauty is that you can control how you navigate that landscape, and that is power.

That is what makes the difference. See, the two brothers, I mentioned a few moments earlier, same landscape. Different navigational tech. Different view of what it all meant. One took the wheel and one did not. So that Seneca quote. That states, no man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.

Well, it's perfectly clear as far as I'm concerned. The question is not whether or not to face adversity. I think we all understand that. What I hope we take from today is a better understanding of what the true adversity is. A better understanding of the fact that in front of us there is always an answer, a key to every lock. Some people just don't think to look. They're so busy peering around every corner for external enemies and scapegoats that they don't give themselves permission to secure. Maybe unfortunate, but it's true.

You can hit the bull's eye over and over again. But if it's the wrong target, it won't do much for you. You might as well have missed by 50 feet. And I think that is what we overlook. You can't always fix the outside world. You can't change the unchangeable, but you can always change yourself. You can always fix you.

As Tolstoy said, everyone wants to change the world. wants to change the world but no one thinks of changing himself. You're capable of being both your greatest adversary and ally. So choose wisely. Because the world around you will do nothing more than respond accordingly to your decision. Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it. was written by the author of Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman. And what he's referring to is a cognitive bias, known as the focusing illusion.

Pretty basic idea means that we elevate the importance of things that we think about while ignoring other aspects of our lives. By thinking about something, it suddenly matters more to us. And while it's easy to interpret this disconnect between our thoughts and reality is alarming, there's also an opportunity here to use this to our advantage, right, to further become the captain of your ship. I've heard my entire life, think positive thoughts, we all have. But there's value in understanding why that's true, right? Otherwise, it just feels like a meaningless ritual.

So Connman talks about a study with college students where they were asked about their overall level of happiness, and then they were asked about their dating lives. And the answers they gave, there were really, you know, there was no correlation between the two answers. But when the order of the questions were switched, when the students were asked about their dating lives first, and then their overall happiness, the correlation between the two answers increased.

The answer they gave about their overall happiness mirrored, however they said their dating, lives were, at least to a much greater extent. Why? Well, because dating became the variable or the framework that they used to measure their overall happiness, even though perhaps they didn't know it, but by focusing on it, it became more relevant. It bled into other aspects of life, right? You get what you focus on. It's that simple. And the truth is, as I mentioned earlier, Nothing is as important as we think it is. Everything is magnified, kind of blown out of proportion in our minds.

So the question is, why not use that as an advantage? Why not let that become our strength, realizing that if simply thinking about something can change the trajectory of how we view the world, it can be transformative to simply minimize the bad thoughts and focus on good one. Have you ever thought about how delicate the line we walk between not caring enough and caring too much? For example, to feel like existence is pointless, right? Everything's bad. There's no reason to try.

That makes it hard to get off the couch, right? Lacking that purpose. But then on the entire other end of the spectrum, to feel like life is. is riding on every step, to feel like we're not allowed the flexibility or leeway to make mistakes. Life matters too much. That also severely limits how we live,

just in a different way. And so I want to explore how do we find that middle ground? How do we find that picture in our heads that puts us right where we need to be? The idea that, of course, today is important. Life is a beautiful opportunity, to extract meaning from the world around you, to build something that matters.

But it's also no checklist. It's no standardized test. No, it's more of a game. We shouldn't be walking around with the weight of the world on our shoulders because that doesn't help anyone. Let's face it, life is just not all that serious. As a good friend of mine, Steve always says to me,

always says to me, you know, we are sacks of meat on a rock floating through an infinite, ever-expanding universe and nothing matters. I've heard him say that a million times, right? Let's go. Let's do it. Nothing matters. Let's make it happen. And I'm 100% get it.

It's a check against the idea that the world will collapse if we screw up. That if we drop the ball, it's over. Kind of pointing to the fact that the only way to truly lose in life is to look back and realize we were too scared to live and so in that context absolutely i'm on the nothing matters bandwagon but here's the deal about this video or podcast episode however you're consuming it in a perfect world it's a buffet not a menu it's an opportunity for you to think to reflect to pick and choose the pieces here that will help move you along because after all, you know, we're all walking different paths.

So how could one person present a one-size-fits-all solution to anything? No, the goal is to understand the framework by which we operate. To understand that the thoughts we think have a monumental impact on how we live. And so if you find yourself on the uninspired side of things, know that there's not a problem with, the you. You just haven't found a path that lights you up. You are perhaps focusing on the wrong things, right? Not leaving space for the right ones. And if you find yourself constantly smothered by the weight of your own expectations, if every little step, decision, or movement matters

too much, know that you are perhaps creating adversaries that don't exist. That you are right where you need to be, but you have to let yourself live. Experience life. One of the most beautiful Victor Franco quotes I've ever heard, he says, ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. There is so much power packed into this idea. It's like when you look around and see the outside world backing you into a

corner dictating to you how things should be remember that you don't take orders from the external world you create the external world when all you see is negative when all you feel are reasons to turn back when the good in life is hiding away reach out and find the positive the one thing that can pick you up and carry you forward. And look, I'm not advocating that we live in this state of delusion. I'm not saying close your eyes, cover your ears, and pretend everything's great. I'm saying every day, every situation provides at least one thing you need

to be closer to where you want to be. And it just so happens that we're not always inclined to see that one thing. That solution. It just so happens that we need to become aware to remind ourselves. So this is your reminder to look for it. Your reminder to focus on the things that lift you up and breathe life into you, not the things that keep you down. And so here's to finding that sweet spot, right?

Walking the line between Victor Frankel's meaning starts with you. you. And my old pal Steve's mantra, nothing matters, so go live your life. This is not a race. You're not being graded on the outcome here. You're giving yourself permission to experience that jolt you get when you open your eyes as the sun comes up each morning, knowing that how you're about to spend your time will be a product of the game you designed. A game in which Yes, you'll feel lost from time to time. You'll lose that North Star every so often. You'll question the journey you're on.

But guess what? When you take responsibility for the circumstance, you also empower yourself to right the ship. You're at the wheel playing the game of life as it was meant to be played on your terms. If it does not serve you, let it go. if it doesn't help you move beyond it. As Connemann states, our thoughts

grossly over-exaggerate that reality on the ground. So let that framework emphasize your passion, your strength and your dreams, not the inverse. What we focus on, we get. So believe in yourself with such conviction that those around you look on and wonder what gave you the right to see those things? What made you think it was okay to believe in that which you believe? You never got a permission slip in the mail?

You never stumbled upon a permit that granted you access to the good things in life. No, you just came to understand the game and how it's played. You came to see that we have options, the option to find the bad and the option to find the good. The choice to see why you can't and the choice to see why you will. That's what will separate you from both your past self and those looking on from afar. See, change is never a product of magic as people seem to think. No, most often it's taking on the challenge of seeing what is not yet there. Stepping into the arena with possibility, with the upside.

So today, see it. Focus on it, lock it in, and don't let go. With everything you have, all that's within you, don't let go. For everything tomorrow can be, for everything you have always been, don't let go.