Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - RESET YOUR MIND | Powerful Motivational Speeches | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

“If you want to go big, you have to stop thinking small.” – Anonymous

The other day was on a podcast with Evan Carmichael, who's a YouTuber and entrepreneur. And we were talking with Shaquille, who was the host, about the mental side of the entrepreneurial journey, how we set goals, but also prepare ourselves for the inevitable adversity associated with growth. And one question, Shaquille asked us was, where do we see ourselves in five years? Okay, so side note, I have a unique relationship with this question. As someone who was unsure in experimenting with their career, right, for much of their adult life, I never quite knew how to answer it. You know, it's like two things can be true at once. It's a very reasonable question.

But I also didn't like answering it, right? Hated it to my core, you could even say. I could never really articulate why. It just made me uneasy, right? Like five years of lifetime. How am I supposed to know? And again, no knock on the host at all. It's a very common and practical question.

I'm glad he asked it because it opened the door to a pretty cool conversation. So anyway, he asked the question, and I'm thinking, oh, man, like, how am I going to approach this? And before I said a word, Evan blurts out, look, if you know exactly what you're going to be doing in five years, you're thinking too small. In that comment, to say it made me happy was an understatement.

It was like, thank you for saying what my mind has been trying to piece together for a decade and a half. If you know exactly where you're going to be, of course you're limiting yourself. There's just too much predictability, too much routine, process and not enough experimentation, not enough life. Why? Because growth is unpredictable. It takes us places we didn't expect,

shows us things we didn't anticipate, it unveils truths and minor miracles about ourselves, that we, let's face it, never would have seen had we been dismissive of all life's variability in opportunity. Now, does this mean we don't move with conviction in a general direction? Does it mean we don't have goals or ambitions? No, I certainly don't think it does.

You can't hit targets you don't aim for. That will always be true. It merely means life is not about being perfect in bringing about a particular result. It's about making adjustments throughout your pursuit of meaning. If you feel closer to your purpose when you change the medium, then change the medium. If it means your heart tells you left is where the value lies and not right, then go left. To me, it's essentially reminding us that life is not a black and white, yes or no, checklist or test. It's a game, and you have to grant yourself the freedom to play.

You have to give yourself permission to grow. I think about how much time five years is. And how five years ago, I wasn't even thinking about creating media the way I do now with the amazing team of people that helped me. I wasn't speaking on stages. I hadn't crafted my creative style. I didn't know the people I know now who introduced me to not only new people, but new ideas. These are characters, their stories,

their opportunities that present themselves only as you immerse yourself in the journey. And I was okay not knowing exactly, but merely moving towards a general direction. The most important decisions were, you know, looking back, not what I said yes to, but what I said no to. As I moved through life, experimenting, learning, growing, I was able to craft something that worked for me.

Not other people. Not what's in books. There's no roadmap. No, it's an experiment. And this is more of the reassurance I would have wanted during those years from an older version of myself. Like, it's okay to not know exactly where you'll be. Just promise you. yourself this. If it matters to you, you'll find a way to move to it, with it, towards it. And if it doesn't, then let it go. Surround yourself with people that lift you up, and if they don't let them go. You'll hear a lot of talk about the right way to do things, especially in this information age. Those ideas and decisions may have in fact been right, but they also may be wrong for you.

Try, test it out, and if not, let it go. The experiment that is your life is the reward. It's a luxury. It's such a beautiful ride. Don't box yourself in because of some made-up theoretical plan. Don't avoid the path to a new world because I checked my life, list and this doesn't line up with where I said I'll be February 23rd, 2008. Now go live your life.

Do your best to exist in that place, the intersection of what you love and what adds value. Let it bend. Let it transform. Let it teach you things about yourself and the world. There aren't correct ways to live, but I think there certainly are some wrong ways. And that's time spent out of obligation, adhering to a story that means nothing to you. Push. See what life gives back.

Your footsteps in the aggregate will reveal truths and tell stories you could never have even dreamed up. It's in going that your book is written. And just a friendly reminder, people don't read books for the last page. the ending. No, they read them for that stuff in the middle. Right? The journey. So next time I'm asked what my five-year plan is,

I'll probably say same as my 10, 20, and 30-year plan. I don't know. But I can tell you, I won't lose sight of that North Star, the one that calls my name. But at the same time, I won't be afraid to watch. wander into the night. Dance in the moonlight, even get lost in the shadows from time to time.

Growth is directly correlated to one's willingness to push forward into the dark. And well, into that darkness, we shall go. What if the so-called detours in our lives weren't detours at all? What if they were the way? And all that time spent worrying, analyzing, critiquing was nothing more than an inability to realize the perfection of the moment. The greatness that completely oblivious to us we've stumbled upon. Sometimes we can fall into the trap of looking at life in a way that I believe is too linear.

And I certainly think we benefit from simplicity for a variety of reasons, clarity, the ability to make something repeatable, the gift of focus. But here's the thing, truth is so rarely black and white. And that begs the question, well, what do we make of all that nuance in detail,

all that other stuff? The surprises, twists, turns, mistakes, sudden goodbyes, unexpected hellos, the cutting away and the taking on. Because life is messy, unpredictable. And our greatest lessons seem to come from places we least expect them to. Our most memorable moments are often somehow dropped into our laps. It's the whole John Lennon notion that life is. what happens while you're busy making other plans, right?

And it's interesting to me that I've spent a decade pointing at this metaphorical mountain top, pouring myself into a methodical plan, just to see again and again that the value continuously comes from the places I didn't anticipate. Where if I kept my eyes closed or even blinked for a second, I might have missed it. Seems like the important things often dress themselves up as mistakes, problems, setbacks, and detours. So why bring all this up? Well, in case you're like me, and you have that tendency from time to time to beat yourself up for the times you fell short, let yourself down, the times you swung and missed. For anyone who thinks a deviation from the original path is in some way of failure.

You know, my goal is to remind you that these things, every single one of them, they all come together to make you you. And the more days I collect, the more I realize they are not only part of the chapter, but integral to the storyline. They're the character development. See, somewhere, at some point along the way, you'll have situations that change, things that come and go, relationships that fall apart, forever things that ended up being rather temporary. And that animal brain will tell you that, you know, this was somehow a total loss, that your days were wasted, your time was stolen. It won't highlight for you how much you actually learned, or that that point in time gave life to the next thing, which became the next, which opened the door to the next, that it was all part of this critical evolution.

The thoughts you think, wisdom you now hold, none of that is ever realized without you having taken the path you took. And so I ask, was that a detour? Or was that you being exactly where you needed to be? Then there will be ideas. The ones you thought you had ironed out, nailed, hit out of the park, the plans that would change the narrative, rewrite the story. But ultimately, time just wouldn't allow them to live up to that potential. They'll fade away and leave you no choice but to pick yourself up and move on. And your pride, your emotions will absorb all that and tell you, hey, it was all for not.

Another failure, a giant L. They won't show you how learning to brush yourself off. And start again is a muscle, a skill. And that being as all people fall, The ones who never learn to get back up are at a tremendous disadvantage in life. They won't explain that you're more courageous now than you've ever been up to this point in time, that depersonalizing our miscalculations and carrying on, well, it won't just help you succeed.

It will be the reason you do, the X factor, the wind beneath your outstretched wings. And so I ask, were those miscalculations detours? Or were they the wisdom that you needed more than anything else? And then, of course, there will be the times you just don't know. Perhaps these are the hardest, you know, stuck, unsure. And it's bad enough that you have no idea. But then you look around and it always seems like, like everyone else has it all figured out. Everyone else has it down. At least that's the message

our brains like to create. You're alone in this. This is all you. It doesn't tell you that in reality no one knows exactly where they're going or what they're doing. And the ones who think they do are very often redirected and for good reason, as is the entire point of this message. Right? It doesn't tell you that you don't find yourself until you get lost. That life is not some predetermined checklist or series of qualifications. It's an adventure where some corners are turned, only for you to realize that the contents just around the bend aren't what you wanted. And some bridges are crossed only for you to see that maybe you were,

were wrong about what you thought was important. And that, contrary to how you might originally feel, is a beautiful thing. The times you're unsure reminds you to keep your eyes open, to enjoy what's around you, capture the value, explore the vastness of a world that will eventually offer up all the pieces required to build what you need. And so I ask, was being unsure a detour or the necessary starting point to live a life true to yourself? Perhaps we've been looking at this whole thing the wrong way, a little too black and white. What if what we need to do is, while in pursuit of whatever it is we're pursuing, give ourselves a little more love, a little more understanding,

because one cannot be their own greatest critic. If they forget to also be their own biggest fan, the two are inextricably linked, making it not okay to be so caught up in the former that one forgets the latter. Life is messy. So forgive yourself when your plans, from time to time, mimic the pulse of the very world

we are trying so desperately to now. Be there for yourself. Because every step is important. Every moment matters. And again, I ask, what if the so-called detours in our lives weren't detours at all? What if they were the way?

And all the time spent worrying, analyzing, critiquing. What if they were? were nothing more than an inability to realize the perfection of the mold, the greatness that we've stumbled upon. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master esthetician, is more than just a skincare company.

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gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dime beauty co.com. That's dime beauty co.com. Your best skin awaits. Recently, I was thinking about something a friend of mine named Tom told me a few years back. He owns a company in Oklahoma City and was telling me about how someone he'd hired essentially stole from him. And the first question that came to my mind as he was telling the story was, okay, what are you going to do about it?

And I asked him the question, and he was kind of quiet for a second, and then asked in his southern accent, Eddie, if a snake bites you, are you going to chase it into the woods to get your revenge? Are you going to get the medical attention required to save yourself? Basically, are you going to focus on the past? Or on what to do from here

forward. Basically, he cut ties with the person but had moved on. I was already thinking about next steps that were best for him, his family, and his business. And I can tell you, since hearing that, it's become an incredibly valuable idea in my life. Especially as you realize that there will never be a shortage of problems. You do what you can to avoid them. You try to steer clear when possible, but adversity will always be, be a factor. It's about knowing that and stepping into it regardless. It's just, it's something that's always intertwined in our development. And I find value in asking myself, is this action I'm about to take conducive to my growth and my happiness? Or am I just chasing snakes?

Does this just feel good in the short term because I'm angry or I've been wrong or something along those lines, especially since most harm inflicted on others derived from incompetence, not malice, and I truly believe that. I think very frequently we attribute sinister motives to others when 99% of the time it's sheer stupidity. It's imperfect humans trying to navigate an often complex world. We make mistakes. Now, I'm not suggesting you don't stand up for yourself when you've been wronged or slighted, of course you should. But the magic is in not personalizing the situation, by possessing the emotional IQ to understand, hey look, it's not about me, but whether I can salvage this situation from here.

And that depends solely on how I choose to look at. Emerson wrote, people do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character. And what a powerful point. The flexibility and the leeway available to us when it comes to making sense of the world speaks to not how the world is, but how the onlooker thinks and interprets.

De-personalizing this situation is one of the greatest superpowers that are disposedly. When you're angry and accusatory, you will, as Tom put it, end up chasing snakes, you'll end up breaking things that will need to be rebuilt and uttering words you'll wish you'd never spoken. But the five seconds required to pause, to collect yourself, and realize that you're in control is everything.

The ability to see the person, the situation or the world, not as an adversary stacked against you, but as an inevitable challenge that must be managed. So how will you choose to manage? How will you choose to arrange the... And by the way, I'm fully aware the constant dame for my speeches and podcasts and videos is the act of pointing not out at the world,

but in at ourselves. My responsibility, my fault, my problem to deal with. I understand just how heavy that is, how hard that can be. Especially when deflecting blame, often feels like it would just be a tremendous weight off of our shoulders when revenge feels like the easy, intuitive move. But again, it's short-term relief to truly grow, to find the calm and happiness and meaning

we long for. It's the internal relationship with ourselves that matters most. It's the ability to say, I may not have created this, or even, you know, I may have the mistakes that brought this to life, but I can't fix it until I look at both the situation and my own reflection and proclaim it's mine now. Let the past be the past. Now it's me and the present. And as far as I'm concerned, the present and opportunity, they are always one in the same so long as we choose to see it that way. It's not what you look at, it's what you see over and over and over again.

Is it happening to you or for you? Is it a problem or an opportunity, a setback or a chance to reset? I want to bring to light a story, one that I've told before, but it's so perfectly representative of the conversation. and Jim Rohn talking about two brothers in an abusive household. Alcoholic father, terrible childhoods. They grow up and both of the sons have families of their own. One is the exact same as his father.

He's abusive and he's angry. And the other one is a great father. He's kind, he's loving, he's supportive. And when asked why, the abusive brother replies, look at my childhood, right? How could you blame me for them? this. The other brother when asked responds, look at my childhood, right? How could I let myself treat my family the same way? And in a way, one spent his life chasing snakes, bitter, resentful.

The other one asked, well, that was terrible, but what can I do to write the wrong? One personalized it. The other used it as a lever or stepping stone. And this is, of course, a simplification But I believe every struggle we face in our lives at its core contains some element of this choice. From the little things to the big things, where do I go from here? It's mine now and I can choose whether to make it better or worse. Chase the snake into the woods or march forward to find the value and write the ship. Remember that when it's hardest, when you least want. to remember that the present contains every single thing you need to begin a journey to recovery,

to growth, to contentment and meaning. You, on your end though, need to be willing to slow down the moment. Need to be willing to collect yourself and give yourself permission to take that necessary and appropriate step. What if there was one mental shift you could make that would completely transform your life? Because I believe there is, and it's completely underutilized, it's not talked about, not leveraged, nearly as much as it should be. It's simple. We have so much more control over our lives than we think we do.

Every single one of us, everyone watching this operates with some semblance of a learned helplessness in their lives. some things that we've accepted as just the way they are. Maybe we're not happy about it. It doesn't invigorate us, excite us, doesn't do anything for us, but it's life. It's the way it goes. So we'll leave it be. And I think if we train ourselves to identify those things and realize we're capable of changing them, you know, life completely transforms. It's just giving yourself permission to do that.

Jim Rohn has a quote where he basically says, and I'm paraphrasing, but, you know, we often can't control our circumstances. Can't control the seasons, can't control the wind, but we can change or control ourselves. And that's where the value is. Life is an inherently unfair place, right? We often can't control our backgrounds or the things that happen to us, the things that surround us, but the strength and the gift that we have

is the ability to change things now. We can make things better now. Everyone can. The question is, will they? And that's where the whole locus of control thing comes in. It's like, it's hard, man. It's hard to look in the mirror and say, this is on me.

This is my fault. This is my responsibility. But I can tell you with complete certainty that once you do, you get something that you never had up to that point, which is upside. You get to experience life. There's this human tendency to want to avoid pain more than we want to pursue pleasure,

more than we want the best of life. We'd rather avoid the worst of life. And that scarcity mindset keeps you contained. It keeps you in one place. I guess it inhibits your ability to see that life is malleable. You know, I came across a study where basically researchers gave these people in long-term relationships journals and said, hey, for this amount of time, any time there's a conflict or fight or anything, document in your journal whether you apologized or took control the situation how did you handle it

and what the study found was the people that believed life could change the people that believed their personality their situation was uh you know adjustable were also the same people that took responsibility right there's a direct link between taking accountability of something for something and believing you can change your life for the better they go hand and hand and hand hand and it makes perfect sense because you can't control the car from shotgun. If you're riding in the passenger seat, you have no control over where that thing's going. You could sit there and look out the window, put your feet up. You don't have to worry about getting there or navigating, you know, making the right turns.

Sure. You get that stress mitigated. But wherever that car is going, you have to be good with it because you're not behind the wheel. The second you make the move and get behind the wheel, again, now you have the added stress. Now you're the one responsible for making the right turns and getting there and navigating. But wherever your heart wants to go, that thing is going. And to me, that's just, that's the beauty of life.

And how easy it is to miss that is astounding. But I think, again, in some capacity, we all walk right by it. You know, I can talk about, uh, you know, I can talk about, uh, different periods in my life. I can talk about driving to work an hour every day, joking around with my buddy, hoping the thing would get a flat tire, just so we could delay two hours, three hours before walking into the office. Why? Well, because that's life. That's what happens. You're supposed to hate Monday through Friday, right? And then go enjoy yourself for two days. That's what adults do. That's life in the big city. And you would think that it would be obvious. You would think asking yourself the question, wait, is there a better way? Do I want this? Can I change this? That

that would have been at the forefront of my mind, but it took me literally to my mid-20s to say, hey, you don't have to accept this. This is not you. What is you and how can you start moving that way? Completely changed my life. The freedom that I feel because I gave myself permission to feel it is mind-boggling to me. And every single one of us can have that, you just have to go through that very uncomfortable period of looking around you and saying, you know, I'm not happy with this, this, and this. It's on me, and I'm going to make changes. And I think, you know, collectively there's no more important time to be talking about this.

I want to scream this message above anything else from, you know, the rooftops because I've believe and I've talked about this before collectively we're moving into a world that incentivizes things differently it doesn't we don't incentivize personal responsibility we don't incentivize doing the hard thing it's like the attention and the currency is now saying hey I'm the victim I was wronged here right him and her hold me back they over there kept me from being what I want to do or being who I want to be. And then what do you get?

You get that coveted attention. You get the likes and the reshares. You get the, oh, you poor thing. That's what we're being taught is worthy of our time. And what people don't realize, right, when they give into that, is that what you're doing is you're taking the rug out from under you and pulling it. You're making yourself helpless. It might feel really good to say those guys over there are the real.

I'm not where I want to be. It might feel incredible in the moment, but it makes you powerless because you cannot fix it. You're perpetually riding shotgun, and you cannot be happy riding shotgun. You cannot be happy because you're not in control. You cannot be happy because you're building a world and a life of learned helplessness.

You know, and I understand, you know, I always want to emphasize this that we are not the same. Every single human being has different abilities, abilities, different backgrounds. We're just humans are different. We're not all dealt the same hand, right? But every single one of us has the same right now to do something with. And that's where I think that sort of tough love message needs to come in. You know, don't fall for that, you know, that brief moment of satisfaction to be able to get patted on the back pointing at

somebody else. You're doing yourself a disservice. always doing yourself with a service. To win, you have to look yourself in the mirror, ask the tough questions, identify what you want, and start moving towards it because you're capable. You're capable of making that change. One of my favorite stories, and this was a light bulb moment for me, very early on in my entrepreneurial career, was someone I was doing business with, pointing out my limitations, pointing out that I had, you know, this sort of learned helplessness

when we were doing business transaction, incredibly successful, established guy. And, you know, me being new in the field, it was just like, this is great, this is awesome, I just want to chat, right? I'm excited to work with you. I don't care, you know, what I charge you, right? Let's just be in the same room. And him being like, if that's a lot of. how you value yourself Eddie that's how the world will value you you're you're

operating here because you've learned that here is right or where you need to be you're not even thinking about you know quadrupling your income growing your company you're not even thinking about what's out there because you're playing so small you've accepted this as life for whatever reason. Whoever I was blaming, whatever I assumed was just the way. And it caused me to look around and go, you're right. No one's ever going to value me more than I value myself. That's just, that's how the world works. And so where in my life are the places that I'm doing that? Where in my life am I unhappy? Where in my life have I settled? Where can I up the ante or change

things? There's so much out there. You can be so much more fulfilled than you are. And that's the idea. It's like if we're not aware of what truly makes us happy, if we're not aware of what we want, we'll always be in a situation where we're blaming other people for not having it, where we're looking at the world and seeing it as this stale, limiting place. And it's not. It can be so incredible in this infinite opportunity. waiting for you. But that's what it's doing. It's waiting for you. It's waiting for you to see it as that. It's waiting for you to identify goals and targets and see yourself as the person that can close that gap. So the one thing you can do right now today in this moment to change your life.

Realize that you can change your life. Realize that you are in control. Step out of the passenger seat, into the driver's seat, and take that thing somewhere incredible. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master aesthetician, is more than just a skincare company. With four skin-conscious categories, skin care, beauty, body care, and fragrance, Dime offers simple, spa-worthy products that will help you enter 2025 with confidence. Whether you're revitalizing your regimen with nourishing products or building one-farleney products,

or building one from scratch, Dime makes it easy. The work system, our all-in-one best-selling routine, includes a cleanser of your choice, toner, serums, and moisturizers, taking the guesswork out of skin care for your healthiest, happiest skin yet. Dime's commitment to clean ingredients and sustainable packaging ensures

every product is as gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dime beauty co.com. That's dimebeautyco.com. Your best skin awaits. Relax. You're here. That's a clever little sign hanging above the sidewalk right at the border where

Pompano Beach turns into Loderdale by the sea. And as it turns out, that spot is almost directly in the middle, one of my favorite running routes, almost exactly halfway, which at first I found, kind of annoying, being that, no, I was not where I wanted to be or intended to be, and no, I certainly could not relax. The heat and the sun and the miles to go always begged to differ, right? False advertising. It was not, in fact, here. After all, here in this context suggests one has arrived, and how can arrival feel like missing pieces and unknowns? How can it feel like so far, to go. In the valley of despair, can one really be here? But the more and more I took that route, the more the little sign became a landmark in and of itself. Something that I looked forward to,

its own little destination, a point in which I could both look over my shoulder and realize how far I've come, as well as find reassurance for the journey ahead. It was a manufacturer pat on the back, a change in narrative. Because here's the deal, it's easy to feel lost in the middle. It just is. It's easy to feel empty-handed after days or months or years. It's easy to fall into the trap of never enough. But if you step back and adjust your perspective,

you see it for exactly what it is. A beautiful process. Here doesn't have to be the predetermined destination. Here can be the culmination of all the steps it took you to arrive at the now. Here can be the lessons learned along the way. It can be the reassurance that while you're not done, you've overcome every obstacle up until this point, and there's no reason to think you won't continue that pattern moving forward. So relax, you're here.

Perhaps here being a place of trust. The ability to look in the mirror and sure see your opportunity areas, but way more importantly, see your brilliance. Your tenacity, your courage, after all, when armed with those traits, it doesn't matter where you're dropped off at. or placed. There's no finish line that's too far away, no mountaintop that's beyond you. Where you end up in the game of life will be directly correlated to the level of trust you have in yourself to play. So relax.

You're here. Maybe here being that point where you can make the leap you've always wanted to make. where you can feel confident that the unknowns don't stop you, they inspire you, where you see the past as proof that your limitations exist, only where you decide they do, and here is not a wall or a barrier, but a springboard to the next great adventure, where you find that spark of inspiration to push against life and see what comes back,

To test the waters, ride the wave, that self-identified beginning that lights a fire in your soul. So relax, you're here. Maybe here being the point where you realize you've been selling yourself just a little bit short, where the image of yourself that you've created in your head is lacking. The metaphorical shoes you've been wearing have been outgrown. And here is where you change them for something that better suits you. Where you make a contract with yourself to endure the growing pains and the discomfort, where you willingly pick up the pace,

an exchange for that adrenaline rush associated with leveling up. The excitement of the wind on your face, the increased speed opening up your mind to the realization that you haven't even scratched the surface with regard to your potential. And that alone is a gift. So relax. You're here.

Maybe here is a reminder to simply enjoy the now. To stop thinking only about what's down the road and look around. To realize that the future is just a fantasy about what might come. In the past is a retail. of stories that have already occurred, making your experience on this planet only right now. A culmination of right now is stacking up to comprise your entire life,

and while the destination is the purpose that pulls you through, the very idea of a destination is essentially trading a current right now for a future one. So maybe look around and enjoy what you have. Appreciate the moment in all its glory. Relax. You're here. See, whatever here means to you,

it's essential that we know even in the heart of the storm, the chaos of battle mid-jurney, that you have everything you need. Not just to survive, but to adjust and re-examine. To identify what means the most to you and follow that like your life depends on it. Relax, you are here. Here being the inflection point that separates the past from the future, that cuts your negative self-talk and those self-imposed limitations down to the nothings that they are.

For me, that sign and its message have become a reminder of the duality of life. The tightrope that I have to walk between chasing down the dreams that pull me out of bed every morning and simultaneously cherishing the moments that comprise the journey. Sure, it's the halfway point of my run, and sure, I have ways to go. Sure, celebrating now would be counterproductive, but breathe in. Look what I get to do. Look where I am. Look what I have.

They say we live not for the destination, but the journey, and I think that's right. I think in a way the finish line might just be the excuse we give in order to experience the steps that take us there. It's the chase, the pursuit. And so, relax, you are here, reminds me that I'm in the thick of the good stuff. Ed Helms, at a commencement speech, quotes his character from the office, Andy Bernard, as saying, I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you've actually left them. Well, this might just be that reminder. Grow to something you've yet to become, but with everything you have had to have.

appreciate who you are now. Respect that finish line, but cherish the race. When the time comes and we've reached the end of our days reflecting back, I think there are two successes that I'll identify as I'm reminiscing. First, I don't want to look back and feel regret for a lack of courage. I don't want to wish that I'd been bolder in pursuit of my dream. No, I want to accomplish the unthinkable, capture the unobtainable. But second, I also don't want, when reflecting back, to realize that I never looked around and enjoyed the ride.

That I didn't know what I had the entire time. That when things felt like a lot, I forgot that a lot was in and of itself a gift. So when the pressures of life seem to consume us, the expectations overwhelm us, the story disappoints us. Let's find the time to pause, take a breath and relax because it just might be life's way of telling us. We're here. There's a quote from Naval Ravikant.

He says, the closer you are to the truth, the more silent you be. come inside. Found that interesting. I got an email recently from someone asking for my thoughts about their being overlooked for a promotion at their work. They say that they're dedicated,

they work hard, they show up and execute. So what is the act of being overlooked mean? Well, like so many things it's contextual, but let's play with it. What does feedback ever really mean? It means what you decide. it does. Here's how I see the act of being overlooked, as this person expresses. Let's look at it as an iceberg, that rejection as a floating block of ice in the Atlantic, and the top, the piece that's

exposed and above water, the smaller piece, is your chance to look around and self-reflect, to ask why? Where are the places I could strengthen myself? The gaps I could close and the spaces I could occupy. You know, disappointment, it causes us to self-reflect, and that can be a valuable thing. There are often tangible, quantifiable reasons we didn't hit the mark, and I think that top of the iceberg is our recognition that we have things to do, places to go, and what better a time than now, to start moving in that direction. Now the part of the iceberg underneath the water, supporting all that, there has to be a foundation

of self-belief, of self-trust, not only a hardness and understanding that you are not defined by rejection, but also a certainty that things will work out, that you might have to stumble, fall, even aimlessly wander for a set period of time. But when your focus is on a particular North Star and you are serious about it, committed to it, you'll find a way. And being overlooked in any capacity is not defining because right now is not an end. You decide where the end is. There just so happens to be a lot of space between that point and where you stand now.

The vast majority of an iceberg exists under the surface, and that's valuable here. Because I believe that the differentiator when it comes to success and failure is how one internalizes the process and their place within it. If you know you're going to succeed, if you are confident in yourself and who you are, then the little wins and losses along the way tend to mean less. Getting overlooked in any capacity is a nice little bit of feedback, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't hold the weight we tend to give it when we're less sure of ourselves in the process. So let's get back to the quote. The closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside.

Well, here Naval is stating in one of his podcast episodes that the wiser someone becomes, the more quiet or stoic they become. Referring to the character that I allude to all the time in this podcast, the loudest person at the table, right? Always talking or seeking attention. Often this character is overcompensating for something. And that's what Naval is, in my opinion, properly stating. But I want to hijack the quote a little bit.

Because I think this applies to our own mental chatter as well. When we are sure of ourselves and what we're doing, the internal dialogue is reduced. When we believe ourselves to be correct and in line with our values and our vision, the mind tends to be calmer. And I can use this YouTube channel and podcast as an easy example. I have self-belief when it comes to my ability to do this. I've invested years and years and believe that over time it's become a strength of mind. So when that inevitable negative feedback or comment comes in, which happens, right? It's the internet.

I take it for what it is. It's the tip of the iceberg. I assess whether there's any value to be extracted. And if there is, I put it in my back pocket. But the point is, I then move on. Because underneath the surface, under that tip of the iceberg, there is such a substantial amount of self-belief and determination in the process, that negativity, it means very little,

doesn't define me. And that's the point that I aspire to cling to. And conversely, as counterintuitive as it seems, I think we should be the same way with positive feedback. Like when nice things are said, it makes us feel good, and we should be grateful, sure. But the idea is the same. Examine, pocket the feedback, and move on,

because if we rely too extensively on good feedback for our self-worth and our sense of identity, it's going to be hard to avoid doing the same thing when the other stuff comes in. It's about having a vision and trusting yourself, right? This is not you versus the world. This is you versus you, and we can't forget that. It's a person committed, determined, on fire in their purpose. collecting data along the way to something greater. And look, sometimes that data comes in the form of being overlooked.

It highlights ways you need to make yourself stronger and better. But sometimes it validates and recognizes your greatness, the value you're already adding to the world. Either way, you're moving forward because it's who you are. And as long as you tell yourself you're going to win, And those two feet underneath you haven't stopped moving, you're putting yourself in position to capitalize on all the opportunity life has to provide. You are going to see the compounding of all those steps you took,

the ones you took when it hurt and the ones you took when it didn't. When you were sure and when you weren't, when you had all the energy in the world and when you barely, barely got yourself through. All those times, they mean something. And it's the ability and desire to move forward regardless that becomes the determining factor. If you know that, the mind can be at peace.

Life is happening for you, not to you. The obstacles become much-needed information and the victories further contribute to your life. momentum. It's all moving you closer to where you need to be. There's a saying by Steve Martin he says be so good they can't ignore you and that's not a point it's a process an evolution it takes time it takes patience it takes self-belief but trusting that mountain top you're chasing also comes with a great sense of security that this epic adventure is yours and yours alone it comes with discovery growth joy sadness and

everything in between but it is yours and if you sign that dotted line it doesn't matter if you are overlooked in some capacity no person or external event can take away what you know in your soul to be true.