Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - SELF CONFIDENCE | Morning Motivation | Best Motivational Speeches Compilation

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

"Jump, then grow wings on the way down." - Jack Canfield

Falling through the air, a million thoughts came into my head. Would this be the end of my journey? Was it the wrong decision? Did I not appreciate what I had enough? See, just a moment before, peering down at the ocean below, I could see just how long the fall would be. Watching the waves crash against the rocks, the birds glide through the sky,

well, it makes a human feel awfully small. Detached. I couldn't help, but think maybe there was something more that perhaps with all this seeing, this wishing, this wondering I'd forgotten to feel. I'd become a spectator in my own life, a silent observer. Because years and years had gone by and nothing changed. I'd waited, I'd hoped, I'd believed, but the goal escaped me. And at some point, enough has to be enough.

I walked up to the ledge, looked back one last time, held out my arms, and I stepped off. They say that if you wait for the perfect moment, you'll be waiting all your life. And while that was a possibility I couldn't entertain. I was scared, unsure, ill prepared, but as I forced my eyes open, they were greeted with the promise of a destination unknown, the beginning of something new. For the first time, I didn't hear the wind, I felt it. The adrenaline coursing in my veins took hold of every move.

My fear became my wings. My free fall evolved into a calculated flight. I was in control. I'd traded every fear I'd ever had for a freedom I'd never known. This is what it means to live. To fly on the way down. It's never the fall itself. But the idea of it that scares us.

The what-ifs that corner us and love. lobby for our submission. What I've come to realize is that having no wings was simply my excuse. Finding them was my solution. I found a quote the other day. It said time heals nothing unless you move along with it. And I thought, well, that makes perfect sense. You can't pursue a new reality, a new world unless you can detach and depart from the current one. But that's in theory. And my question was, is it the destination or the path that holds us back? Because in my experience, the greatest struggle in life, it isn't what to do, it's knowing how to do it.

How do we get there? We know we need to get back up. But how? How do we initiate a spark and create momentum and take that world of black and white and add color? Because those times of gray, when life seems to lose its purpose, we find ourselves simply existing and not living. That's when we need answers. And I guess this quote, it jumped out at me because it prompted an equally important question. which is now what?

And I started thinking a few years back, 2017, probably the most difficult year of my life. It was void of, you know, many of that beautiful nuance, the uplifting moments that we like to remember when we look back. For me, it was, you know, essentially an ended relationship,

was relocating away from family and friends, was having a few dollars in my bank account, everything I own in a trailer, and starting over. And what I'll never forget about that experience, you know, in totality, was that I saw it colorless, bland, dark.

Essentially, the road ahead had lost that glimmer that it once had. See, I used to get so much joy in telling stories. But life had kicked me around so hard that I, at least for the moment, forgot the point. Like, what was my reason? And I knew, like I said, what I had to do,

but I couldn't wrap my arms around the how. How do you get the train moving again? And then I got this email, right? I'm going to paint a picture for you. New apartment, trash, there's stuff everywhere, suitcases open, I hadn't shaved in two weeks, I'm exhausted, couldn't sleep, sitting there frustrated with my laptop.

And the email is basically someone looking to create a documentary, asking if they could stay with me for three days. and create a film about always maintaining discipline and living a productive life, and I just erupted into laughter, right? I don't think Seinfeld could have written something more ironic. It was just, it made no sense. But it caused me to reflect, right? I'd obviously decline the video, just wouldn't have felt right or accurate in that moment.

But I started to think, how was there such a gap between the old me and who I was sitting on that bed? Is this the new me? And if it's not, why have I allowed this imposter to stay so long? I've always said a life change is one decision away. A light switch away. Just reach out and find it. And when you're going through times like this, it's funny. Life has a way of doing its best to conceal the beauty.

It's like it becomes this black in white painting and it stays that way. It stays that way until you put color into it. One brush stroke at a time. Life is intimidating when you see everything you're not. When the blank canvas feels like emptiness and not opportunity. But life doesn't require of you the whole picture. Masterpieces, they aren't made overnight. They're not instantaneous.

They are a product of trust, of faith. Not in the canvas or the brush, but in the artist. Through his eyes, he's capable of transforming his experience into art, his misfortune into meaning. Victor Frankl uses the metaphor of a movie, each day being its own scene, where often they don't even come together until the very last act. Trust that.

Believe that. But man, start painting. In the very next morning, like everyone before it, I woke up to a yellow beam of light, making its way through a crack in the blinds, painting the wall of an otherwise dimly lit room. But this time I saw it. This time I didn't close the blinds.

I opened my eyes. And sometimes that alone is the little hinge that swings a big huge. door, a door that I walked through. And I saw the green of the palm trees, the beauty, the simplicity, and thought, how lucky am I to be where I am when I am? I saw a blue sky, a miracle in its own right that's not confined to story or narrative, and well, maybe I'm not either.

The white of the sidewalk leading me to wherever I choose to go next, the red of my running shoes hitting the pavement, the gold of the sun bouncing off the buildings, the black of a cup of warm coffee as I soak in the day, and the teal chandelier that hangs over the horizon as the same sun that started it all retreats after a hard day's work. See, you have everything you need and life is not always perfect, but it is always what you make it. How things are is not how they should be your need to be, but how you've allowed them. And most importantly, black and white does not describe reality so much as it describes what's not there. What's missing from reality, and my hope is to never conform to that sketch or outline

that masquerades as truth, but to see beyond it, to find the strength, the courage, the self-belief to pick up the brush and live life in color. Sometimes we have to hear no 99 times before we can get to our yes. Sometimes we have to repeatedly fall before we can stand our ground. But here's the beauty in all that.

It doesn't matter how many times you fall or how many knows you get it only takes one yes for things to change, to turn around. You only need that one door to open for you. It's very easy to get caught up in the negative, the locked doors, and the rejections, but they are not the problem. They're part of the process. They're what we have to go through to get to our destination. And one of the greatest things you can do for yourself,

and your goals is to depersonalize these locked doors. They're not the world working against you. They are the world working for you, bringing you one step closer to the path that you need to take. Don't stop a door one or two or 50. Stop when you've gotten the answer you're seeking. There's an idea coined by Aristotle.

to suggest knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. I want to talk a little bit about why I believe that to be true. I went on a trip to the West Coast a few weeks ago, and obviously there's a time difference there. When I came back, it was a little jet lagged, threw me off my routine a little bit, and for the first few days back in Florida I slept in, which makes perfect sense, right?

My body was still on West Coast time. But then three days went by and four and five and then a week. And I kept setting the alarm and I kept sleeping through it. And this drove me crazy, right? I love my mornings. And, you know, I can go into that some other time. But the bottom line is I kept even knowing it's in my best interest to get up, I stayed in bed.

Okay, so one week went by, going to bed, planning out my perfect day, setting the alarm, only to sleep in. It had evolved from a reasonable transition to a clear display of personal weakness. Mapping out what was best and then failing to do it because I was comfortable under those covers.

Q. Einstein's famous definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. See, my perfect day on paper continued to be obliterated by the very elementary and foundational challenges of reality. And if you think this is small, I just want to remind you that the little things ultimately become the big things, right? In other words, no one conducts themselves one way

for the small and seemingly trivial aspects of life and then, you know, suddenly levels up and becomes highly disciplined, you know, an organized force of nature when it really matters. No, you are who you are. We're defined by our habits and it filters into all aspects of life. That's why Admiral McRaven talks about making your bed. You don't do the small things right. You can't do the big things right. And to me, this was a red flag. I wanted to fix this.

Perhaps needed to fix this. And I spent some time thinking about it. And as I was running, listening to an audiobook, it hit me. I made what I think is one of the most important connections I've made in a long time. And to explain this idea, I'm going to briefly kind of take us up. level and explore one of the greatest checks on human nature in the history of mankind, and then I'll bring us right back down to the practical, the alarm clocks, work out routines and daily planners.

Sometimes the philosophical opens a door for the practical day-to-day problems we have in life, which is why I love connecting those dots. It helped me see things with clarity. And so this began with a quote from James Madison and Federalist 51. He says, if men were angels, there would be no need for government. And what he's doing there is he's making a case for a constitutional system or technology that attempts to stop the greatest threat to government ever to exist, which is human nature. He's advocating for a framework that will save us from ourselves.

See, it's not that human beings aren't capable of incredible things, beautiful things, magnificent things because they are. But it's because they are also prone to do terrible things. We're prone to act irrationally, to seek and hold on to power, to break off into factions and groups and success of the whole over a long period of time requires more than anything else that we're able to, and this is the point, recognize and repress those inevitable negatives. It's not be delusional and aim for the perfection of men because humans aren't perfect.

Humans will never be perfect. And so to wrap this metaphor up, that's why the U.S. governmental system today is modeled all over the world in places like Canada and India and Brazil. It's because it is brilliantly one of gridlock and conflicting interests. It's why the legislature is cut in two. It's why there's three branches of government all checking each other, a system of federalism, all because of the nature of man. See, sometimes what you prevent is just as or more important than what you create.

Again, perfect? No. But the expectation of perfection, it destroys more than it builds. This idea of utopia, or the perfection of human beings, doesn't have a great track record throughout history. It dismisses human nature. So Eddie, what does this have to do with sleeping in in the morning? What does this have to do with making tomorrow's perfect plan

before you go to bed every night? And then seeing it fall to pieces when the pillow feels, you know, amazing at 6 a.m. Well, I'm going to hijack Madison's idea here. It's similar in the sense that you haven't allowed the best of you to take hold and flourish because you haven't addressed the worst of you that keeps trying to make its way into the picture. If you're aware enough to understand yourself and the things you do that get in the way of your happiness, you are on your way.

Because you stop trying to jam. a square peg of perfection into the round hole of reality and you start operating practically. Looking to mitigate the things that you're doing that are constantly holding you down. Build checks and balances into your own life. I am no angel. And neither are you. So let's put ourselves in the best position we can to succeed and overcome the realities of life. I mean, this very idea is why books like atomic habits and the power of habit have sold

millions of copies because they help us navigate around the mental traps, constantly seeking to pull us into old routines. The best way to not eat junk food, according to Charles Duhigg, don't have any in your cabinet. The best way to watch less TV, according to James Clear, hide the remote in a different room when you're working. Best way to stick to that workout routine, put your running shoes by the door, right? Make it easier on yourself to say yes. to defeat the demons that hold us back.

Again, if we were angels in our own lives, we'd see that remote, we'd smile, we'd ignore it. We'd look at the Instagram app and we'd say, nope, not now, Instagram, I have a business to build, but we are not. Angels, and winning requires building systems into our own lives that allow us to win. So how did I defeat that monster

that kept me in bed in the morning by making it so hard to say no that it was comical? by checking my temptation so that failing was actually more difficult than succeeding. I made my bedroom immaculate, went to bed early, laid out my clothes, put my alarm clock on the other side of the room with a glass of water next to it, an old album I made in 2014 to remind me how far I've come and in the purpose of the journey I'm on. If I was going to fail the next day, it would be because I see. said no over and over again to everything that's important to me. If I failed that morning, it would mean my priorities need adjusting, not my sleep schedule. And so the next day, I did get up.

And as W. Clement Stone said, it was a little hinge that swung a big door. So I believe life is about momentum. Feeling good about yourself, giving yourself the best shot possible to evolve, to grow, to chase down the meaning in life. And absolutely, we want to be better. We want our eyes fixated on the stars and our compass pointing towards the horizon. But we have to first unshackle ourselves from the delusion that we play by a different set of rules than the ones that govern the universe. Winning means understanding yourself and life so that you can be someone who rigs the game. game in your favor. That's why I love Aristotle's quote. Understanding yourself is the beginning

of all wisdom. Until you've truly captured what you want and how you're preventing yourself from getting it, you simply can't operate at a high level. And so I'll end with the reiteration that you are no angel. And no, you never will be perfect. But recognizing and forging your training, around that fact positioning the best of you to outdual the worst of you take you a lot further than staying where you are and waiting for wings failure by definition a lack of success the definition of success the accomplishment of an aim or purpose according to these very guidelines failing is to be more marching toward an end point and for one reason or another not getting there.

Is failure a possibility? Of course it is. There are no definites in life. But failure is also self-induced. It is not an outside occurrence. It's not a coin flip or an event that we helplessly watch unfold before us. It's not up to chance. Failure is a decision. The decision to end that same march that you once started.

Just like putting on your shoes is a decision. Just like traveling or running or eating, these are decisions that we make. And when the word is all too frequently brought up in everyday conversation, what's evident is that there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to, quote-unquote, fail. It's spoken about as though it's something that's projected onto. to us, as though failure is an illness or catastrophic event, something that emerges and subdues its victims.

And speaking of it in such a way, misdiagnoses the problem. It's easy to say so-and-so started a business and it failed. So-and-so didn't make the team, so they failed. But there's more here. One does not fail until they take a step back, look at the situation, and see a situation and say that it's no longer worth it anymore. You don't fail until the moment you raise the white flag and say, I cannot do this.

Because if you're out there, if you're changing, adapting, stretching yourself and your abilities, if you're seeking help, mentors, learning, growing, embracing the struggle, being relentless in your effort, no one can bring that word into the conversation. It cannot exist. If you are moving forward, you are not failing. You cannot be working towards something and failing at the same time.

It is impossible. You can have your ups and downs. No one will refute that. You can get knocked on your ass, have moments of fear and doubt, but that is growth, not failure. Growth is taking the uncomfortable and doubt. to it, overcoming the obstacles that inevitably get in your way. Failure, on the other hand, is deciding that growth is no longer worth the sweat.

Because I'll tell you what, there's always a way to win, and I truly believe that. Sometimes the cost is extreme. Sometimes the price is more than everyone around you is willing to pay, but that's a conversation that you need to have with yourself. You just know that if you want it, somewhere there exists a solution and knowing that is the beginning of greatness. It is the start of success. And as for that question, what if I fail?

Here's some insight. That thought is wasted time and it is wasted energy because as far as your goals go, you pull the strings. You are the writer, you are the director, and you are the actor. Failure only occurs when you write it into your script, when you choose it for an ending, and it is one ending. One of many. It is one approach of many. Once you've started that march towards what's important to you, do not let failure be the choice that you make. Growth. Choose the adventure. Choose the choose the long way home. Victory over defeat, the uphill climb over regret,

choose to move forward when most wouldn't. It's the decision you'll always be thankful you made. Luck is what happens when preparation meets hard work. Seneca. How many times have you heard luck used as the explanation for events that have unfolded? Successful people are fortunate and fortunate occurrences, they're deemed lucky. Negative, unfortunate situations, well, they're unlucky.

But what if luck had very little to do with anything? What if the events in your life are the result of both the way you look at the world and the way you prepare yourself for what comes your way? To lean on the concept of luck is to relinquish control over your life, to reallocate power. It does nothing for you except deceive and manipulate. The truth is, great situations are going to arise as well as challenging times. What will matter in either is how you handle them. When opportunities come your way, do you capitalize? Are you ready? Can you make the most of what's been presented to you? And on the other hand, when the negative arises, can you see it for

what it is, a temporary obstacle that you can and will get past. There's nothing unlucky about what's happening around you. Because what's happening around you is life. It's your job to deal with it, to play your hand and live out every day like it's a gift. The ones who are prepared, positive, ambitious, by their very nature, they will achieve. And when they do, they'll be called lucky by passers by. But don't allow yourself to fall for this. Luck is not given. It is never given. Luck is made every single day.