Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - Take Back Control Of Your Life | Morning Motivation | Listen When You Wake Up

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” - Mark Twain

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The answer to this question may not be a small. or insignificant as we're inclined to believe. I recently picked up the book, The Psychology of Money, by Morgan Housel. It lays out some valuable concepts and ideas about investing and managing our finances, growing our wealth. But there's one idea that I wanted to share because, yeah, from an investing standpoint,

it's important, critical even. But it's relevant to so much more. And I think an understanding of it will help us and many aspects of life. So first, let's start with the financial piece and then we'll sort of grow the metaphor, right? Because Howzel talks about how we should look at investing in the market. And one of the hardest things for us to deal with

is the market's volatility. It's difficult for us to invest, our hard-earned money and then see the market go, let's say, for example, down 20%. Like seeing that huge dip in our investment, that's not fun. Right, and everyone knows that. That can be nerve-wracking. And it dissuades a lot of people from investing or keeping their money in when they should. It ultimately keeps them from getting the returns available to them, right?

But here's the point he makes. He says those people who see that volatility as a fee and not a fine are more inclined to win in the long term. Understanding that market returns are never free, they demand a price. and that price is the roller coaster ride that we all have to deal with. That is the market. It's the ups and downs and highs and lows. That volatility is the cost of admission. And if you understand that, you're more inclined to stay calm.

Keep your long-term vision. You're more than likely to come out on top. On the other hand, if when that turbulence arrives, you know, the sudden crashes, the ups and downs, and you see it as a fine, as this terrible thing that's happening to a punishment, you're more likely to act emotionally, to be reactive and make decisions that aren't in your best interest.

To drive the point home, he mentions Disneyland, for example. The fee is $100. And people will gladly pay that fee because, you know, they get that great experience with their family, their kids that they'll have for the rest of their lives. That $100 isn't a fine. It's not a punishment. It's an intentional,

deliberate trade of one thing for another. And if you were to look at it as a fine, you'd never get to enjoy that experience. If you thought that $100 was a punishment, it just wouldn't be the same. So why do I bring all this up? Because I'm a firm believer that the best things in life all come with that price

or a fee, house of state. But I also think we sometimes have a tendency to look at that cost, that very same cost of admission, as a fine, as a problem. When really, no, it's just trading some turbulence now for a reward a little bit down the road. Sometimes the right thing is the hard thing, the uncomfortable thing. With dividends, it will pay so long as we understand that it's opening the door to something greater. a situation you know is not good for you hurts. Right?

We've all been there. We all know this in some capacity. But it's not a punishment or even a bad thing, right? That discomfort associated with walking away is a fee that will enable you to live a more aligned life in the very near future. Or let's say you're building something meaningful, something you care deeply about, but it's just you. You and the idea.

There is no validation. Certainly no external reward, not yet. and continuing forward in those moments is hard. It's taxing, emotionally draining even. But this feeling, again, isn't a punishment. It's not a fine. It's the fee. It's the cost of admission to bring something into life that wasn't there.

Life's greatest moments are expensive. It's just, are you going to pay the fee to bring it about with a cost of regret at a different time. And you get the point, right? You can take this and apply it to so many things. Falling down, criticism, feeling lost, having to start from the bottom. These things are not fines, they are fees. They are price tags.

And so often, the initial price is a bargain compared to what we'll get back. We just need to stop perceiving their mere existence as the world working against us. No, these are opportunities in disguise. It's easy to walk by the important things, to dismiss the uncomfortable things. The harsh truth is that our greatest opportunities are often intertwined in our distress. That's why so many people walk away from the things that will make their lives better.

That's why so many people pull their money from the market when it takes a dive. So many people walk away from a project or idea when things get challenged. or conversely it's why so many people do nothing at all they stay in situations they aren't happy with and know they need to change because the fee to get from point A to point B feels too steep but I think the value

is in comparing the discomfort the cost, the fee to what it's going to bring you down the road because often it's a bargain we need to remember that what it will ultimately provide has life-changing potential. Understand that resistance is not a fine. It is not the world telling you no.

It's life asking you, hey, do you really want this? Because if you do, it's yours. So long as you sign the dotted line and pay the price, most people will be dissuaded by this. Most people will turn and walk away. But most people also leave a hell of a lot on the taste. And I don't want that for you. You don't want that for you.

The world we live in is one of abundance. So when life pushes back, understand that it's merely positioning you to move beyond your limits. To redefine your worldview. And while admission isn't free, it's well worth. There's a saying that will always be true. It will be true on your best day. on your best days and your worst. It will be true after victory and it will be true after defeat.

It will be true when you have momentum and it will be true when you're down on your luck doing everything in your power to create momentum. That saying is, your future begins now. Hey, on the surface might not seem like much. Sure, my future starts now. I know that. Everyone knows that. Well, if that's true, if everyone does in fact know that, why do we spend so much time stuck,

reliving our past unable to break free? Why do we remain terrified to change? Why do we feel such a connection to who we were, how others saw us? Why must we remain loyal to the character we've been playing in our mental autobiographies? See, here's the thing about the past and the future. One is fixed. can't be changed and the other, well,

it's waiting for you to tell it what it is. One is expired time. One is plans to be determined. And it's interesting how we continue to conflate the two. Epictetus has said that the more things we value outside of our control,

the less control we have. Well, I'm going to be the messenger here relaying the precious truth that yesterday is in fact out of our control. What can be controlled is where we go from here, the next step. Meaning today is not your failures. It's where you take those lessons. It's not your mistakes, but it's what the stronger you can now endure because of them.

It's not the dreams you let slip away, but where your pursuit might take you now. And yeah, yesterday certainly contributes to your outlook, as all information does. It's value considered, its impact assessed. It guides you, but it's not you. And that difference is astronomical. There's a question about the role the past plays in our lives. That has to mean something, right? Your past is, in many ways, your story.

It's why you think the way you do. It's contributed to your understanding of the world. It will always be a part of you, and I believe that. But I also believe the past is a story. And just like reading one chapter in a book simply sets the stage for the next one without controlling its direction, so does every day that has led you up to now.

Life gives us the tools to experience, to grow, learn, and then shed that which does not coincide with what's important. Your failures are not you. But they are precious and that they push you towards what you'd like to be. See, you can experience something and not be that thing. As Kirkagard says, if you label me, you negate me. If you proclaim me to be X, you're essentially stealing from me the infinite possibility that is the future.

Yesterday has nothing to do with what I can become. And so taking it a step further, never mind being labeled by someone else. How could you label yourself and see it as anything but self-sabotage? See, you're never defined by your past, but always learning from it. It's not who you are. It's the cheat codes for what you can be. Without that winding road of misfortune and mistakes, the incredible expansion we long for doesn't materialize.

Imagine if everyone who ever felt down in life felt like a loser who temporarily lost hope. Imagine if they looked in the mirror and said, okay, this is who I am now. There would be no triumph in the world because anything meaningful requires the resiliency to map our way from the hell that was our darkest moments to what will become our proudest moments. Destiny. Destiny, destiny means that you separate the finite from the infinite. What you used to call yourself has prepared you to move towards the horizon. But what you used to call yourself is also as irrelevant now as those seconds that you watch tick away. Seconds that maybe you're not proud of. seconds that perhaps taught you about the world,

seconds that gave you a glimpse of what's possible, unveiled the happiest of times, all of it. In its own unique way, it brought value, but none of it is your future. Why? Because back to that beautiful, all-powerful sentence, your future begins now. Your destiny is always a way.

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Always ultra-thin pads, Gillette Fusion Razors, and refills. Old Spice, Total Body Spray, 10 packs Pearl, and Gillette Mach 3 razors and refills, and save up to $3. You won't want to miss out on these deals. Offer ends February 25th. Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit safeway.com for more detail. There's an old quote that stays 80% of life is showing up.

Now, showing up means many different things to many different people, but the idea is not complicated. You can't do anything of significance unless you. you have first and foremost arrived. Which brings me to today. See, I had a list of concepts I've been excited to talk about things that I've either read or have been recent epiphanies in my life. And I can't wait to share those with you. But this morning, oh, let me tell you about this morning. Finding the energy to do anything, felt like trying to squeeze blood from a rock.

I woke up with a headache, exhausted, because I didn't sleep at all the night before. And you know that feeling. Like, when you didn't sleep at all the night before, you're oddly constantly reminding yourself the next day that you didn't sleep. And everything just felt off. And really, as I'm speaking now, things still kind of do. And so I got up and I sort of played with the idea of taking the day off altogether. Maybe I'm due for one anyway.

I thought about resting. the little devil with the pitchfork on my shoulder continuously reminded me how great sleep would feel and I was sitting there kind of weighing my options. Took some ipuprofen, started the coffee, sat down on the couch, just kind of looking at the wall, what to do, what to do. But realistically, I knew. And I want to explain why.

Over the years, I've taught myself through repetition that's sitting down and writing and recording, unless I plan intentionally to do otherwise, is it non-negotiable? It's helped me see that the goal, in any meaningful pursuit, should be getting to the point where, despite the circumstances,

you show up. Stephen Presfield, whose voice often echoes in my mind when I come face to face with these situations. He wrote, art is war Between ourselves and the forces of self-sabotage That would stop us from doing our work The artist is a warrior Artist being anyone

Bringing something to the world that does not yet exist And he goes on to describe the battle with the mind Over sitting down in that chair and writing When we know we must write but don't want to When a tired or distracted mind begins looking for off-ramps, as mine clearly started doing this morning. These seemingly trivial moments, when any rational soul could argue for the validity

of postponing their date with Microsoft Word, will they come to matter more than ever? Because greatness is a byproduct of intentionality. If you become accustomed to breaking promises to yourself, If you leave that door cracked for exceptions here and there, it will ultimately be kicked open. And that's why I inject little reminders like that into my life, to keep that mental muscle working.

For example, there can never be dishes left in my sink when I go to bed. Why? Because if I skip it once, there will always exist reasons to skip again. It's a very easy thing to not care about. because here is the reality. Progress is a lifestyle. Growth is a lifestyle. At least if we're talking about any meaningful type of evolution. I just finished reading,

It Takes What It Takes by Trevor Moad. One of those three to five hour listens on Audible, depending on how fast it's playing, really packs a punch. And I'm going to be diving into a few of his concepts a little more in the coming weeks, but one thing he discusses that I found incredibly valuable is the illusion of choice. And what the illusion of choice highlights is that there are a set of behaviors that must be carried out to be effective. The idea of alternate roots is an illusion. There

are no choices when it comes to what's necessary. We know what must be done to win. Now, Knowing that is one thing. Knowing that and having to propel yourself to action when you feel like garbage is something different entirely. But that's why it's so valuable to get to that place where you can take the emotion out, remove the internal deliberation, and automate the things you know are going to help push you to be that better version of yourself. In other words, you show up for you, period. And that is a non-negotiable. The level we all need to get to. And I'm thinking about this, drawing parallels to a lot of different aspects of my day, right?

The interval training I have this afternoon. When you're exhausted, 40 minutes in and are switching from squats to mountain climbers or whatever it is, right? Instructor makes the announcement. I don't think about anything. I don't give myself a chance to try and rationalize any weakness. weakness I know if this is important to me keep that door shut no thinking just doing next simply doing what you always do what you've signed up for cannot be self-perceived as some monumental sacrifice no it's just what you do it's neutral

sometimes you feel like it sometimes you don't but you do what you do and that puts you on track to accomplish some incredible things and And so remembering this, ultimately pushed me through that studio door this morning and placed me down right in front of my mic. Sure, I had to adjust some things. Definitely picked some, you know, mellower music. There's going to be no crescendos today, or my head will explode. But this is not torture. In fact, I'm really happy with the way the episode's turning out.

I would have missed out on something that I think is going to be pretty valuable in a variety of ways. But what I'm telling myself is that this is not a victory. It's certainly not defeat. It's just what I do. And so the question worth asking yourself, when facing the adversity life presents, and whatever arena you were in, is are you willing to show up for you?

Can you turn that internal deliberation switch off when it comes to the necessities before you? minimize that rationalizing that I battled with this morning. We don't need or want that. There should be no thinking, no crack doors, no metaphorical dishes in the sink. If you decide something is important and you sign that dotted line when it's time to execute, you act. And then you move directly onto the next. The goal is to not even negotiate with weakness.

Now that's not to say Pressfield's aforementioned war of art won't rage on as you journey to the new horizons you've set out for. But just like anything, it's an understanding that will help you focus. We'll help you say no to the distractions and the minutia and continue writing your story, constructing your reality line by line, and piece by piece. Mark Twain said the two most important days of your life

are the day you were born and the day you find out why. The first gets you into the show and the second asks, what will you do with your time here? What will you make of this sunrise? Because we only get so many. And I think there's immense value in understanding that each and every one of us are here to lead this place better than we found it. To stand up when we could be sitting down, step out, and make something of the chaotic and often hard to understand world around us.

When you realize the miracle that is your existence, when you understand the almost impossible odds of you being, here, thinking, feeling, breathing in the air around you, you begin to see the value of today. Because it's not an obligation, it's a currency, the most precious of commodities. Today is your time to step into that new version of yourself, to see something more so that you can begin the process of creating something more. Because the truth is life will always be what you decide it is. If you walk up to your window,

look through the blind, and decide what you see is the finale, the final script, that's exactly what it will be. But if you see right now as a beautiful beginning, the initiation of the ride of a lifetime, a transport to the next version of you and the next and the next,

then you are signing up for a world without limit. A world where you can feel what it's like to be tested and endure. To be lost, but finds your way. To build something meaningful out of the seemingly meaningless, that's why you're here. That's what it means to truly live.

Today is your day. Your chance. Don't let it slip away from you. Don't be fooled into thinking it's less than it really is. It is your ticket to infinity. A journey that starts when you decide it does. When you look out at that vast unknown and say, I'm not going to settle for anything less than a life of adventure.

I want the challenges, the turbulence, the losses and the battles. They will bring me to a place I could never have arrived at otherwise. You get from life what you give. So give it all. Leave no path unwalk, no stone unturned. Today is the most important day of your life because it will connect the you of yesterday to the limitless you of every day that comes next.

It may be that our greatest gift in life is that we're always one. decision away from transformation. We're always one decision away from a new path with new experiences, new beliefs, new identity, one decision away from a totally different life. It's almost incomprehensible. That all the days leading up to now, everything we knew ourselves to be can be discarded and left with one swing of an axe gone. What is more miraculous than that? We live at the intersection of two imaginary worlds, the past and the future. Past is gone and essentially meaningless.

Yet as the provider of our identity, it still rules over us. Our sense of who we are comes from our collection of past memories. That imaginary world of yesterday, like the elephant tied to the chair with the rope. It hasn't realized it's strong enough to break free. It doesn't know that what can find it. minds him is not the rope, but acceptance of a lie. And that's what the past, that's what identity is, a lie. We are not yesterday, we are right now.

And from the trivial things to the significant things, we get wrapped up in that lie. We overlook the gift of control we have over our future. What does it mean to say, I'm not a mourning person? That in your past, you hadn't conditioned yourself to wake up early? okay. What does it mean to say, oh, I let people walk all over me? That in your past, you didn't stand up for yourself? What does it mean to say I'm awkward or shy or I struggle with writing or running or public speaking? So maybe you did. But what does that have to do with right now? What does that have to do with realizing the control you have over your life? Because simply

realizing you can disconnect from these narratives, that they are not you, is the superpower. Realizing that calling yourself a bad student because you failed a test, it's like never taking off your raincoat because it rained yesterday. It's like, no, the sun is out, adapt. And once you realize right now is the beginning of the rest of your life, you can start making little changes. Identify not who you were, but who you'd love to be.

And move towards it. Read the power of habit and atomic habits, You can understand change isn't crazy or big or scary. It's moving little things in your life around so that they work for you, not against you. Start waking up and thinking about not what has happened, but what can happen, not what can go wrong, but what can go right. You are always one decision away from a totally different life because you're always one decision away from change. From walking away from the narratives that you have accepted.

And so remember that. But remember it not just when things are fine. Remember it when you're struggling, when you feel restless or uneasy, unsure, uninspired, sad, angry, not content with the reflection in the mirror. When you feel that negativity, you're not looking at what can be, you're looking at what you have been. And there's no room at the table for that distraction. Not when you can reach out and start building something new. Not when you can put on a new pair of shoes and walk down a different path, you are always one decision away from a totally different life.

And that decision should be first and foremost to choose future over past. Your next step over the last one, choose your ideal world and start building.