Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - The Confidence To Be Yourself

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Emerson Stop diminishing who you are so that you fit in, and go all in on who you are so that you stand out...

I'm going to share something that over the years I've come to know to be true. And that's that generally the answers that we look forward tend to fall between the extremes. So, for example, you have two people. One person is adamant that option A is right. It's a no-brainer. That'll take you to the promised land. Then on the other side, the other person's saying, no, it's option B, and it's not even close. Option B is the way to go.

And, well, generally speaking, The answer we're looking for falls somewhere right in the middle. That's where the winning formula lives. Not always, but most of the time. The other stuff, the detail, the A's, B's and C's, the stuff that gets the flash that we spend most of our time talking about, it's unnecessary noise and nuance. To win is to trust your instinct.

It's being comfortable with your authenticity as the foundation. And then once you have that, can choose to sprinkle the other stuff on top as flavoring. But I want to talk about this idea because I've fallen into the trap, and I think others do too, of looking for answers in the wrong places, of trying so hard to replicate success to meet other people's guidelines. We're so busy asking what to other people want to hear, that we're not asking ourselves, hey, what do I want to say?

And in the process, we lose what's most valuable. We end up rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Imagine if Malcolm Gladwell only wrote about what was trending on Twitter or what was popular. It's like, no, he writes about what he's interested in. That's why he's so fun to read. His curiosity and passion always comes through. Or if J.K. Rowling spent her time researching,

what works, what sells books, what do I need to buy, what's been done before me, before she created Harry Potter? We probably wouldn't have it. Her brilliant imagination wouldn't have been shared with the world because, let's be real, wizards and boarding school weren't exactly on everyone's radar. There was no roadmap to that. Oh, I think of Jordan Peterson's lectures. Imagine if he crafted his message around YouTube or Instagram algorithms.

He would lose all its power and meaning. He's authentic. He's raw. He's real. That's why we watch him. But the reality is, every day, we're told in Taylor-Made, strategically located advertisements that, hey, John Smith achieved success, happiness, and fame with this product or this service, and without that, you can't get what you want.

Or we turn on our phones, we go on social media, and it's hearts and likes and double taps, and we're not saying what we want to say. We're reverse engineering how to get that validation. For those with brands or those in the marketing space, I mean, you know. It's always about trying to understand this mysterious algorithm where your posts will be buried. What we're being asked to do overall every day is manipulate ourselves to meet the demands of the platform or of the external criteria.

And I'm not saying it's morally wrong. There's no atrocity being committed. Part of life is adapting. But what I am suggesting is there's a danger that we're not aware of. Amidst all this chaos and confusion and manipulation, we tend to lose ourselves. And when we lose ourselves, it doesn't happen.

all at once. It's gradual. It happens little by little one concession at a time. We don't snap our fingers and disappear. We slowly slip away, not by what we do, by what we don't do, in order to fit in. You know how everything in our solar system orbits around the sun? Well, what if you thought of that sun is who you are, right? When you're with your friends or family, when you're writing, saying, thinking what matters to you.

Without social media, without brain, and marketing and societal pressure, just simply who you are. That should always be the nucleus of your world. Your North Star. That should be the measuring stick to whether you're on the right track, not the externalities that ask you to change your key so that it fits their lock. What have you re-engineered the way we look at things?

What if we built a world where people expand upon who they are and what they care about, where we have the courage to say no to the latest trend or item or advice because it's just not who you are. What if you were that confident? And then if we think some of those externalities will help us, then sure, sprinkle them on top. But they rotate around you. You don't rotate around them. That's the difference.

To be content, you have to be the center of your own universe. Living by your guidelines. So instead of looking around and trying to decide your strengths, you know, based on what will be accepted or promoted or what's been done before, do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath. Step back and just simplify. You know what matters.

And that's enough. You don't need the world to tell you that. So while the masses fight over solution A or solution B, maybe you'll understand that both of those solutions solve the wrong problem. And while the masses argue, you know, which car goes zero to 60 the fastest, scream about the features, debate which brand is the most reputable. Hey, you'll at least know why you're driving, which is more than most of the world can say. You'll know where your car is headed before you upgrade to that sunroof and those top-of-the-line speakers.