Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - The Mirror Principle | This Will Change Your Reality

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

“The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.” - Thomas Dreier In this episode, I reflect on the idea that reality mirrors our own perceptions, a concept often referred to as "the mirror principle." Drawing from Marcus Aurelius, I’m reminded of the immense control we have over our minds and, consequently, our strength. If you don’t like the reflection life is giving you, it’s up to you to change what you bring to the mirror. This is a personal journey of recognizing that we set the guidelines for our lives, and it’s our responsibility to level up, embrace risk, and pursue growth. Reality is our mirror, but we are the artists. Join my free weekly newsletter: eddiepinero.com/newsletter

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Reflecting back at you not the world as it is, but the world. as you are. The idea here is that if you don't pause and remind yourself how much control you have over your own reality, over what you're seeing, you start thinking you're at the mercy of someone else's story, a character in a play that is not your own. You forget that in your own movie, you're the scriptwriter. Or as Marcus Aurelius wrote, you have power over your mind, not outside, events, realize this and you will find strength. I recently heard this referred to as the mirror principle.

But really, for obvious reasons, I'm more partial to calling it your world within. An echo of Tolstoy's classic line, everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. And that is where our power lies. Or, using the same example, you can't change the reflection you see by shaking the mirror. You change the reflection by changing your relationship with yourself, by changing how you treat and view yourself, which not only alters your actions, it alters how the world views you. One of the first things we notice about someone is whether they are confident, whether they operate with conviction and self-belief. we notice how they view themselves immediately.

The greatest gifts I've been given from mentors and people I look up to in life, they haven't been material. No, they've always been subtle reminders that I set the guidelines in the world conforms. It's always been, hey, Eddie, if you only view yourself as someone who charges a little bit of money to climb,

That's how potential clients will view you. Eddie, if you surround yourself with people who think small, that's exactly what you'll become accustomed to doing. Eddie, if you don't believe you can do amazing things, people won't walk up to you and believe it for you. All of these have been reminders that the reflections that I'd created for myself at those points in time were limiting. The reflection I was allowing was narrow in scope.

It was safe. It was small. And if I wanted more, it wasn't up to the world. It certainly wasn't a matter of crossing my fingers and hoping that that mirror would randomly tell a different story. It was seeing myself as someone who creates a new picture altogether. And that could be a difficult thing to grasp, right? Like, you can't change the mirror at all. You can only change what you bring to the mirror.

So what are some examples? What are some pieces in the past that I've worked on? One, first and foremost, imposter syndrome. One of the cool things about having speeches blow up on YouTube before I ever gave a keynote speech on stage is that I started getting invites to speak all over the place. The flip side to that is that I've found. felt like someone who didn't belong there. It happened too quickly. It was outside the comfort of my studio.

It was like, oh no, the world's going to find me out. And that's what I brought to the mirror. And of course, for a while, that's exactly what the mirror showed right back. I had to convince myself that I could speak anywhere through practice, through affirmation, trudging through the mud of doubt and uncertainty and earning a different reflection. I say that. not to pat myself on the back, but to demonstrate a battle fought, mostly in private, where I had to rewire how I saw not the world but myself, how I saw my ability to navigate seemingly insurmountable things. It always amazes me how so much of any battle is merely confronting a confidence. It's knowing that, hey, difficult or not, I belong here, and I'm going to figure.

it out. That's what I do. I think we all need to find a way to bring that to our personal mirrors. And again, it'll feel weird. Good. It'll feel inauthentic at first. Perfect. Change requires a breaking down and building up and breaking down never feels good. I can give you another example, and I think this will certainly be relatable to most of you. Not being able to see the gratitude in my life over the small annoyances, like something stupid or not ideal or disruptive, would just prompt this spiral. My Facebook getting hacked is a great example of this. I've talked about this before. My world ended for a few hours. I was so angry until I got it together and composed my self. It's like, Eddie, you need to be the type of person who observes, who calmly collects the data and then makes a productive decision.

Now, clearly, I wasn't that. Right? And in many ways, I'm still working towards it. But I know that's part of the reflection I want. That's something I'm working towards every day. And you know what's helped me? Gratitude. Seriously, that's simple. Three things in the morning I feel grateful for.

People I have in my life. Things I get to do, the work that I love. Whatever it is that day, I write it down. Because just thinking that way elevates my baseline to not just existing, but realizing how lucky I am. And I start from a place not of lack, but of abundance. And that puts things into perspective. So that when, you know, things do go wrong or the wheels do fall off the wagon, it's not the end of the world.

It's one little trial or tribulation in the great play of your life, one that you're very happy to be in. And I could go on and on. Whether we want to call this the mirror principle or the creating of your world within, or just merely obtaining perspective. The idea is simple. What the reflection shows you is directly correlated to the things you've accepted or allowed in your life.

And if you don't like the view, well then adjust what you're allowing. Give yourself permission to level up, to be more, take more risks, to chase down the upside. Reality is a mirror, and a mirror is an outing world. You are the input. You are where it all begins, where everything in your world takes shape.

So give yourself permission to fight for a reflection that you're proud. I recently started the book Managing One's Self by Peter Drucker. And there's a pretty powerful point he makes in here early on that I want to share. Admittedly, an idea that I came to a tad later than I wish I did, but the second I did, a lot changed for me. And it changed pretty quickly. Essentially, Drucker tells the reader, stop wasting time on areas of low competency.

The things that they don't really have a natural proclivity towards him. And at first you might see this and think, you know, wait a minute. Haven't we always been taught to improve the things we struggle in? Isn't that the name of the game? Well, not necessarily. And in fact, a lot of us are held back trying to become moderately competent in areas we have no business being. When, if we just took the things we loved, the things we were naturally drawn towards, we could truly be impactful in those areas.

leaders in those areas. That's where you change your life and ultimately the lives of those around you. In my world, I like using map as an example because it demonstrates this pretty well. You know, my second year of calculus, I realized absolutely not. I do not like this.

For me, it felt like a square peg in a round hole. I just didn't see a life where calculus would be a necessity. And so I dropped the course and sought out something that felt like a better fit. Now, looking back, could one see my decision to walk away from that class as quitting? Sure, meets the definition. But what happened?

Well, I filled that slot, what would have been many slots, if I could to do that path, with courses that ultimately impacted my life for the better, that built a foundation for what I do today. They were aligned, right? I got to express myself creatively, to write, to speak. You know, I wrote papers about difficult topics. If I spent my entire life trying to become competent in calculus, it would have been a different story.

Right? Could I have improved? No question. Like, with time, it might have even gotten really good. But would I have enjoyed it? No. That's not where my skill set is best utilized. That's not what I was born to do.

And because of this, my ceiling would have most definitely been lower than someone who is naturally drawn towards calculus and loved calculus. You know, when you find what you love and it adds value, there are fireworks. You become a force to be reckoned with. And I get asked every so often, you know, whether it be on a podcast or Q&A, whatever the occasion, what are your thoughts or suggestions around someone who finds themselves unmotivated? In my first thought, the first thing I'd always want to rule out is that perhaps that person has slipped into the wrong arena, trying to win a game that isn't theirs.

You know how hard it would have been for me to be motivated every day if I woke up knowing calculus was what was on the docket? How would I have incentivized myself there? There would have been a very clear layer of resistance. Which is why, to Drucker's point, It's silly to allocate substantial time and resources and energy to endeavors that don't lift you up, that you don't care about. Now, I'm not saying you only do things that you're amazing at.

That doesn't make any sense either. My friend Evan says, if you love doing it, but you're not that good at it or it doesn't add value to anyone else, that's great. You don't need a reason. You don't need to be excellent at everything, but what you have there is a hobby. Okay, I'm talking about people in the midst of trying to expand their careers or build businesses,

gain expertise for practical reasons, navigate something of significance. In those scenarios, that's where it's critical to stop trying to make all your threes, fives, and instead focus on making your eights, tens. That's where, again, you will have that monumental impact. No one's ever celebrated for the things they were decent. even if it took you 10 years to become decent, 20 years to become decent. No, it's the things you do well, right? And if you look at the world that way and your pursuit that way,

you'll live a happier life and a more productive, successful life. Now, there's so much power in the freedom you have to chart your course, but the first step is understanding you have that freedom and flexibility. It's understanding that when things don't feel right or feel a bit off, It's that it may not be you. It may be the path you've taken, the decisions you've made. Take some time to find a journey that aligns with who you are, and the world will give back outcomes that were previously unimaginable.

Let go of what she'll never be good at. Who cares? There's too much upside to be had chasing down the things that will actually light you up, that will actually set you apart. set you apart, the things that will create meaning in your life. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master aesthetician, is more than just a skincare company. With four

skin-conscious categories, skincare, beauty, body care, and fragrance, Dime offers simple, spa-worthy products that will help you enter 2025 with confidence. Whether you're revitalizing your regimen with nourishing products or building one from scratch. Dime makes it easy. The work system, our all-in-one best-selling routine, includes a cleanser of your choice, toner, serums, and moisturizers, taking the guesswork out of skin care for your healthiest, happiest skin yet. Dime's commitment to clean ingredients and sustainable packaging ensures every product is as

gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dime beauty CO.com. That's dime beauty CO.com. Your best skin awaits. Hey there, it's Ryan Sechrest for Safeway. Now through February 25th, stock up on your favorite self-care items and save up to $3 shop in store or online for items like Old Spice Deodorant. Always ultra-thin pads. Gillette Fusion Razors and Refills. Old Spice Total Body Spray. Tampax Pearl and Gillette Mach 3 Razors and Refills. up to $3. You won't want to miss out on these deals. Offer ends February 25th. Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit safeway.com for more detail.

Do you ever wonder how much of you has materialized? Like if what F. Scott Fitzgerald says is true and our lives are defined by opportunity, even the ones we miss, then how much remains in the ether? And I don't think it's about playing a game of what if. You know, that would be endless. It would be self-defeating. No one's perfect. I don't even really think it's about making a right turn instead of a left. Because as long as you're moving and moving with conviction, life ultimately brings you where you need to be.

But more, my concern is the steps never brought to pay. My ideas on the hatch, my opportunities, I either knowingly or unknowingly left on the shelf. Because it didn't seem real enough. Like a Broadway play between my ears, that as a spectator I knew would end, after all that's what stories do. How much of ourselves have we tasked aside as simply the things we don't say out loud? At first, it's infinite. We've yet to be taught to limit because limits aren't things, their ideas, and ideas must be adopted. That's why they say some of life's best things were done by people too ignorant to know they were

possible, too naive of the notion that they couldn't say them out loud, then it's comparison. They have what I want, but it was meant for them and not me. How delusional to think I could have it. How crazy to think that life has yet to be written, and I am an author. My date is with normalcy in the box where I keep those things we don't say out loud, and then we look around and we see highlight reels. We see awards and vacations and smiles, but we don't stop to think maybe they're just like me. Maybe they're people who struggle and question them. and doubt the road ahead. No, it must be the past diverged. They took happiness and I took those things we don't say out loud and then there's everyday life when things don't go as planned.

When the world presents curveballs and you haven't learned to hit off speed so you feel small and you feel inadequate and ill-equipped and you could reach out but that's not cool. That's not right. That's something that you don't say out loud, but we keep it in, like all in and eventually it becomes the if only's and I wish I had. It's the quiet envy gazing longingly towards those who just cared less, who realized maybe life's not as serious as we make it out to be, who turn thoughts to things, not by burying, but by embodying them. And maybe that's the trick to unlock the gate, keeping your perceived reality from the

possibility of a new one. The one you could create, if only you promoted your fleeting thoughts to forward progress. See, dreams can fail to come to fruition in two places in your head and outside. of it. But at least outside, it has a chance. At least outside, you can take the common, normal, everyday background and make it the backdrop to your movie where you play a lead role. But it must be accepted and acknowledged, not thought of or even whispered, but screened so that the details and the trivialities that exist now work for you. That's right, they are now yours. Not because you thought about it, but because you reached out a hand and you

took, you ask the world for something. And in life, it will always be true that you don't get what you do not ask for. So when you find yourself staring up a wall comprised of self-defeating narratives and manufactured limits, be ignorant, be irrational, be the reason your dreams have a chance. And when you look around and you see more and wonder why you don't have it, know that you can. allowed to if you sacrifice you will but you must believe you are worthy of it not in the back of your head where you keep your locker combo and movie quotes but in reality where words bounce off lips and when you feel like life is treating you unfairly like they're happier or have it better know that life is peaks and valleys not just for you but for everyone and how you internalize that and carry on makes the difference and when you feel lost

or stuck, you are not hopeless, but in progress. Being broken down so that you can be reconstructed, stronger, better. Victory is not in hiding those struggles, but accepting them as the difference, as the reason you created the miraculous. Not because you had dreams, but because you said them out loud. I woke up this morning with two thoughts. One, you can make today whatever you want to make it. And two, one of my usual reminders, life is not that serious.

Now, why is this important? Why is it the framing I so often need? Well, to put it simply, I put a lot of pressure on myself. As many of us do, these deadlines and these goals, they hover over me, they guide my decision-making. And while that allows me to operate at a high level, there's also a flip side. From time to time, it makes me feel like I'm navigating a maze. And I slip into this tunnel vision that makes life seem almost procedural. And every so often, the freedom and the beauty slip away.

I forget they're there. So to be reminded of life's abundance, its breath is healing. It's like step outside your day to day. Try something new. Lose yourself in something. Undergo that audit that cuts away the things that have made their way into your life that add no value. The day is yours. and no one else's.

Life's not grading you on a one to ten scale. So give yourself permission to explore, green lights to make mistakes, to adventure, right, for the sole sake of the ride. And it's not even a me thing. When I live with an abundance mindset, I'm able to be a better version of myself, which means I can better help others.

It means I can show up the right way for the people in my life. See, we need to remember that we are freer than we think. And why we need to be perpetually reminded of this, I'm not sure, but we do. It's incredibly easy to fall in line and turn autopilot on. Then the situation becomes mundane, even counterproductive, and we just submit to it. say, oh, this is life. No, it's not life. And in fact, by adopting that mindset, you're forfeiting the greatness within yourself and the greatness that surround you. You're ignoring the very reason you are here, bowing to the dictator that is safety and monotony. Are you personally growing,

progressing? Are you challenging yourself? Are you finding the courage to step. outside the box, the walls you've built around yourself. Are you spending time with the people who matter? Are you seeking out peak experiences? Because you not only can do those things, you should. And every morning that sun coming up should be a reminder that all of this in life is available to you. The caveat being no one gives you permission to pursue it.

to pursue it. As the saying goes, no one comes along and saves you. It's up to you to look out your window and see not confinement, but possibility. To inject yourself into the meaning that is available to you. Today is yours. So long as you find the courage to make it so. There's a saying that will always be true. It will be true on your best days and your worst.

It will be true after victory and it will be true after defeat. It will be true when you have momentum and it'll be true when you're down on your luck doing everything in your power to create momentum. That saying is your future begins now. Hey, on the surface might not seem like much. My future starts now. I know that. Everyone knows that. Well, if that's true, if everyone does in fact know that,

why do we spend so much time stuck, reliving our past, unable to break free? Why do we remain terrified to change? Why do we feel such a connection to who we were, how others saw us? Why must we remain loyal to the character we've been playing in our mental autobiographies? See, here's the thing about the past and the future. One is fixed, can't be changed, and the other, well, it's waiting for you to tell it what it is. One is expired time, one is planned to be determined.

And it's interesting how we continue to conflate the time. Epicetus has said that the more things we value outside of our control, the less control we have. Well, I'm going to be the messenger here relaying the precious truth that yesterday is in fact out of our control. What can be controlled is where we go from here. The next step. Meaning today is not your failures. It's where you take those lessons.

It's not your mistakes. But it's what the stronger you can now endure because of them. It's not the dreams you let slip away, but where your pursuit might take you now. And yeah, yesterday certainly contributes to your outlook, as all information does. It's value considered, its impact assessed. It guides you, but it's not you. And that difference is astronomical.

There's a question about the role the past plays in our lives. It has to mean something, right? Your past is, in many ways, your story. It's why you think the way you do. It's contributed to your understanding of the world. It will always be a part of you. I believe that. But I also believe the past is a story.

And just like reading one chapter in a book simply sets the stage for the next one without controlling its direction, so does every day that has led you up to now. Life gives us the tools to experience, to grow, learn, and then shed that which does not coincide with what's important. Your failures are not.

you. But they are precious and that they push you towards what you'd like to be. See, you can experience something and not be that thing. As Kirkagard says, if you label me, you negate me. If you proclaim me to be X, you're essentially stealing from me the infinite possibility that is the future. Yesterday has nothing to do with what I can become. And so taking it a step further, never mind being labeled by someone else. How could you label yourself and see it as anything but self-sabotage? See, you're never defined by your past, but always learning from it. It's not who you are.

It's the cheat codes for what you can be. Without that winding road of misfortune and mistakes, the incredible expansion we long for doesn't materialize. Imagine if everyone who ever felt down in life felt like a loser who temporarily lost hope. Imagine if they looked in the mirror and said, okay, this is who I am now. There would be no triumph in the world because anything meaningful requires the resiliency to map our way from the hell that was our darkest moments to what will become our proudest moments. Destiny. Destiny, destiny means that you separate the finite from the infinite. What you used to call yourself has prepared you to move towards the horizon. But what you used to call yourself is also as irrelevant now as those seconds that you watch tick away.

Seconds that maybe you're not proud of. seconds that perhaps taught you about the world, seconds that gave you a glimpse of what's possible, unveiled the happiest of times, all of it. In its own unique way, it brought value, but none of it is your future. Why? Because back to that beautiful, all-powerful sentence,

your future begins now. Your destiny is always. awaiting its marching orders, and all you have to decide as you stand today is where that ship will sail. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master aesthetician, is more than just a skincare company. With four skin-conscious categories, skincare, beauty, body care, and fragrance, Dime offers simple, spa-worthy products that will help you enter 2025 with confidence. Whether you're revitalizing your regimen with nourishing products or building one from scratch, Dime makes it easy. The work system, our all-in-one best-selling routine, includes a

cleanser of your choice, toner, serums, and moisturizers, taking the guesswork out of skin care for your healthiest, happiest skin yet. Dime's commitment to clean ingredients and sustainable packaging ensures every product is as gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dime beauty, co.com. That's dime beauty, co.com. Your best skin awaits. Hey there, it's Ryan Sechrest for Safeway. Now through February 25th, stock up on your favorite self-care items and save up to $3. Shop in store or online for items like Old Spice

deodorant, always ultra-thin pads, Gillette Fusion Razors and Refills, Old Spice, Total Body Spray. 10 packs pearl and Gillette Mach 3 razors and refills and save up to $3. You won't want to miss out on these deals. Offer ends February 25th. Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit safeway.com for more detail. A little girl walked up to the edge of a river.

Took a piece of paper out of her pocket, folded it into a little boat and pushed it out into the open water. The little boat made its way with the current, kind of unsure where it would take him or what it would ultimately mean. And for days he felt helpless, lost. Until one day a storm pushed him to the edge of the riverbank. A man picked up the little boat and began examining it. Is this my home? asked the little boat.

Well, wouldn't you be the only one who knows the answer to that? The man asked. I suppose so, said the boat. It doesn't feel. like home. So the man nodded, started to put the boat back in the water before the little boat cried out, wait, I don't want to go back in the water. I'm scared, I'm lost, I'm alone. The man, with the reassuring smile, pushed the boat back out into the water and said, look, I've felt how you feel, and I've been where you are. I know what it's like to not know where home is,

but the only way to find it is to carry on. That water is your path, and little boat, you're not alone. The little boat kind of gathers himself, starts making his way down the river. A few more hours go by. Suddenly he runs into some plants that are popping out over the surface of the water. He realizes pretty quickly he's stocked. He can't move. The panic starts to set in.

He's freaking out. He's thinking, now I'm never going to find home. All these terrible thoughts start going through his mind. He's screaming for help. But then he sees a mom with her son over on the shore. The child points to the little boat, says, Mom, look, another one's stuck. We need to help it.

The mom says, no, this one will break free too, just like the last one did. Give it some time. The little boat hears them and starts thinking, wait, someone else got out of this situation. The thought never really crossed his mind, that it was possible. So he takes a breath, starts rocking from side to side,

Building momentum, a few seconds later, the plant's grip starts to lessen. He nudges his way to the front of the brush, and sure enough, slips back into the flow of the stream. The little boy points, his mom, look, the little boat got out, she says, he sure did, baby. He just had to realize that he could. So the boat, again, collects himself, keeps making his way down the river proud now, right? Feeling accomplished, growing into a paper boat of his own making. when sure enough, that wind shifted direction. Suddenly, he's not able to go where he wants to go,

starts drifting towards the muddy riverbank. How could this be happening again, he thinks to himself? But see, that little boat, it started to learn a thing or two about life. That it wasn't all smooth sailing, that it would present its obstacles, but that contained within that little paper sea vessel was far more power than he knew.

So he unfastened the excess paper on the back and the sides of the boat and created a little sail, and at first nothing happened. He waited. Knowing that this was it, this was make or break for him, he adjusted one more time. He could see the shore, feet from where he was. And then suddenly he felt himself turned. The boat started making its way back downstream. Against all odds, he had managed to get back on track.

And he was so excited about this that he didn't even notice the water had cleared out and led him to this giant opening. It took him a second to adjust, but when he did, he saw boats of all shapes and sizes from paper to the largest boats he'd ever seen. So he went up to the first one he saw, a little red and white canoe drifting around. He said, I can't even believe this. You have no idea what I went through to get here. I almost landed in the wrong place

Then I got stuck in some brush I thought it was over for me Then to top it all off I start drifting towards the muddy riverbank and I barely adjusted course I'm talking seconds The red and white canoe smiles and says well so did I And that's just it

That's the magic of this place You can't even get here Until you learn that the wrong stops are inevitable but that they don't define you, that you have the strength to keep searching. Until you learn that you have the ability to get yourself unstuck, that life setbacks aren't forever

and that you can find a way. Until you learn that some things you can't control, but how powerful are the ones you can. As the saying goes, you can't change the wind, but Little Boat, you can always adjust your sails. These are the things we all had to learn. Little Boat,

But how was I supposed to know that? That I wasn't the only one? Well, that's the thing. You don't really find out until you arrive. I guess it's just one of those funny aspects of life. Well, I'm going to tell the world, said the little boat, that no one is alone. That we all get off at the wrong stops. That we all get stuck.

That we all have to adjust course. But the trick is to keep sailing down river, no matter what. Keep sailing down river. I'm going to tell everyone that they are not alone. That's a brilliant idea, said the red and white canoe. Now come on, I'll show you around. You're going to really like this place. If you want to be empowered, understand this.

The world is indifferent to you. It's not an enemy. But it's not a friend either. It's a tool. The same way that attributing any type of motive to a hammer would be ridiculous, right? I've seen hammers build things and I've seen hammers destroy things. Well, the same can be said for the world around you. What it becomes is determined entirely by how you choose to utilize it.

You know, there are things we learn as we navigate through life that change us. And one of the most critical for me was understanding that, yes, the world is indifferent to me and no, I am not special. Doesn't mean I can't go do amazing things, help people, change the way things are. But if those results materialize, it will be because of what I made with what surrounds me. Not because of what the world owed me. or because I was special or deserving. No, it will be because I set my sights on something and pursued it. And so you ask, why is this empowerment?

It's empowerment because it puts things into perspective, and perspective is power. It simplifies the road ahead. The bad things that happen, they are not personal. They don't mean the deck is stacked against you, and those good things, they are never guaranteed. Everything's a question of grit, of depersonalizing the lows in an effort to capture those fleeting highs. Life is not predetermined.

Life is a game. A game that you have the ability to win, to leave this place better than you found it. But you're also capable of taking a different path. It's just as easy to highlight the flaws, to take on the role of a perpetual victim. The tools are there to do both. And so the question is, what will you do with what you have? Because it's not about where you start. It's not about where you came from.

It's about choosing to look around you and say, I choose to be an architect. From this reality, I will build. I will contribute. I will go forth and conquer. When the walls cave in, it's not because you can't or shouldn't. It's because sometimes in life, walls cave in. And now you choose whether to lay in the rubble or rise from the ashes. And this fork in the road, it's going to present

itself many times. The ones who get angry, who point out, who project blame, who will live very different lives than the ones who brush it off as an obstacle on the windy road that is life and press forward. You did not arrive here special, but you sure as hell can leave here special. The world may be indifferent, but you are not. If you're passionate, if you move forward with conviction, you'll become friends with the trials and allies with the tribulations. You'll see that growth only stops, not when an angry world around you decides it's so,

But when you do, when your feet stop moving, and your heart longs for the horizon no more. But until then, it's all systems go. Until then, you build. So, life is the sum of the decisions we make. But which decisions? How am I supposed to know? Well, maybe a list will help some pros and some cons. List one.

Finding the courage to do something new, okay? Cons, it could be a waste of time. Could embarrass myself, could lose money, could get criticized. Pros could be life-changing. Finding the courage to go somewhere new, okay, cons might not like where I go, might not know how to get there. Might regret going. Pros could end up being the best decision I've ever made.

Finding the courage to change myself, okay, cons. Okay, cons might not like who I become. Might try, fail, and feel worse than I did to begin with as possible. Pros, well, I might become exactly who I need to be. So looking at this, it essentially comes down to conserving the old or making the new. Maintaining or capturing the upside. But it doesn't quite delineate my problem. Okay, so different angle lists two.

Finding the courage to do something new. If I fail, is it reversible? Yes. I can fail. And if I do, I'll simply go back to doing that which I had been doing. All right, finding the courage to go somewhere new. If I don't like the destination, is it reversible? Yes.

I can change my flights, grab a train, turn the car around. I decide where I go. Finding the courage to change myself. If I don't like the trajectory, is it reversible? Yes, if I don't like how I'm evolving, I can stop. I can start back at the beginning. Who you are is in your control, okay? So after two lists, the pros have immense upside and the cons.

Well, they have relatively minor downside, and they are reversible. Meaning, if I try something I've always wanted to try, go somewhere. I've always wanted to go, become the person, I've always wanted to be, things could fall apart. But the damage is more annoying than it is life-altering. It's not forever, it's fixable. On the other side, if I hit that home run, my life changes, my world evolves, what's possible expands. And it's not that I will, it's that I could. And doesn't everything start with could?

A seed of possibility? an idea that plants roots and when merged with courage in action take shape? Of course. But most importantly, this information in front of me tells me something pretty incredible, a story with few words and infinite meaning. The key that unlocks some of the most important doors to be opened. And it's this. Most of our inaction, most of our action, most of our,

regret most of our almost come from cowering amidst possible outcomes that are reversible running from potential consequences that we could wipe clean like a dry erase board and try again the downside it pales in comparison to the upside we're running from a slap on the wrist or the momentary anxiety associated with turning down the wrong street right that's the takeaway here that's where the magic lies not in the possibility that everything could work out but the realization that if it doesn't life moves right along that contrary to the narrative so often making its home in the back of our minds life has redos you can screw up you can reverse

track and start again the only action you can't fix is the one you never take and while I'm looking at this list and I just don't see any upside in that. A lot can change with the words, it's okay. My moon is not the same as their moon and that's, well, it's okay. Same playing field, just different rules. Same sky, different constellations, same clouds, different shapes. We need not permission. to follow that star that lights up our world,

just a willingness, a comfortability, just a curiosity. Because where the right path provides clues, the wrong one gives instructions. And over time, the difference between the two accumulates, it becomes substantial. Your journey should give you just enough. The moon's radiant, should highlight the hand in front of your face, reveal that potential next step.

It should expose the options right in front of you, and that is enough. And sure, sometimes it feels like it would be nice to know to walk an easier path, one that's not your own, have everything lit up, no questions, no mystery, and while there's comfort in taking this path, it's not yours. It's not your journey, it's not your moon, it's not your light, and it won't reveal your answers. So feel free to leave, to walk away because it's okay. It's okay to not have the answers. It's okay to follow a gut feeling.

It's okay to leave the old in pursuit of the new. It's okay to want more, and it's okay to not know where more is. It's okay. I often think if a courageous few are the reason that I'm not writing these words out with a quill pen by candlelight, then think about what my own small acts of courage could become. Why not believe, start, try, put myself out there? Why change or concede or surrender to a set of standards that aren't mine put in place by people who warn me? Their moon is not the same as my moon, their path is not my path.

And if I'm choosing between seeing a world that I've settled for in its totality, or seeing one that actually means something as it slowly pieced together, I'm taking the ladder every time. Well, how do you know it will work out? The brain asks the heart you don't. And I think that's exactly how you know you're in the world. right place. It's when you have all the answers, the certainty, and the reassurance in the world that, well, something may be missing. Not missing from the external, but missing from within

as you move through the external. It's the classic square peg in a round hole. In the very reason we should carry on is because it's better to be a square peg in search of a home. than to be whatever it is that would keep us safe, quiet, and securely contained within a square box. It's not that my way is right and your way is wrong, it's that for me to live I must find my way and you, yours. Because a life lived according to someone else's rules is a house built on sand. It may be stunning. It may not warn a second look from someone passing by, but it only takes time to reveal the inherent flaw. It doesn't matter what you build if it's on top of a bad foundation. It will ultimately come down.

Time will take it down. So be weary of where you decide to plant your stake in the ground. Be thoughtful about where your feet take you and the concessions you allow in your life. We often think permission is what separates the present from the ideal. What I've learned is that time keeps coming, permission does not. To live fully is a self-appointment. There is no letter that comes in the mail explaining this. Although, sometimes I catch myself waiting for its arrival. Where the crowd goes, my instinct begs me to follow. the comfort lives, my predisposition is to knock on the door.

I'm human. But I know that to resist what comfort offers is the battle of a lifetime. Their moon is not mine. Their solutions will not fix my problems. I have a puzzle to put together, a masterpiece to assemble, as do you. So embrace it. your world. Follow your rules. Howl at your moon. Because if you do it right, it will be different. It will be yours. And that's not just okay. It's what makes life worth living.

As our lives evolve? As our experiences accumulate, the way we look at life changes. That's part of getting older and seeing the world. So long as you allow your ideas and perceptions to be malleable, as long as you're looking to grow, you most definitely will. And for me, one area that is truly transformed is my relationship with luck. What it means, how it's relevant, and most importantly, what do I do about it? I created a little book of anecdotes last year, and one section was called The Luck Manufacturer. And it says commitment, her hammer, resiliency, her nail, she manufactured luck every single day. Before most awoke and long after they were asleep, she tirelessly sketched and built and created until at last she was done.

Taking a step back, she stared in awe of the luck she constructed and knew it would change her life. And the takeaway of this passage is luck is made, not given. And as I was making my way through these little chapters in the book again, I stopped and thought, well, wait. You know, it's an important idea. One I believe in, it's not wrong, but also it's kind of half the story. There's a lot missing there. What I had done was essentially paint something black and white when there's a ton of gray area.

No sane person completely discounts the role of it. of luck in our lives. It plays a role, a very significant role. The question, again, is why does this matter? Well, because maybe we don't make luck like a carpenter in his shop, but catch it like a fisherman at sea. Because standing on the deck of the boat, he can't control the fish that swim into the but he most certainly is responsible for finding a location with good odds, for being consistent in his attempts, for mastering the craft and improving the skills. You can't control external factors, the weather, the storms, the tide, the location of the fish on that particular day, but you can control you, and that is your power.

And I think the progress I've made is understanding the danger with looking at luck is something that is entirely self-made and thinking that if you do X, you will be rewarded. Why? Because that's how it works. I put in the work, there's going to be an outcome. I take the boat out, I'll be having fish for dinner. But that's tricky, right? Thinking something is owed to you in any capacity,

it breeds resentment. Because for whatever reason, when it's not provided, life suddenly seems unfair, it creates a scarcity mindset. And to truly progress is to endure that balancing act of what we can control in one hand and what we can't in the other. That, quote, you can't control the wind. But you were given the power to adjust your sails accordingly.

And for those who hang in there and adapt long enough, well, it seems as though luck tends to find them. at some point. And this occurrence seems to unveil itself in a million different ways. Example after example everywhere you look. Yesterday I was reading John Adams' biography.

Those of you who like history will enjoy this, kind of making my way through the American president. And just started, John Adams being one of the greatest minds behind America's founding. And, you know, what's obvious, as I'm sure you'll all remember from history, class is the extent to which the French helped bring America to victory.

I mean, without the French, most historians say that the war doesn't end the way it did. And you'll see my point here in a second, I promise. This won't be American History 101, but the idea is it's very easy to take this info in, to be an observer from the outside looking in and say, you know, the Americans were lucky. They were lucky to have French support, to have been supplied much-needed resources. as they were lucky that the French fleet arrived from the West Indies to Yorktown, Virginia, just in time to block the British in and ensure there's surrender. I'd say there's certainly some luck there.

But isn't that half the story? How about the courage it took the founding fathers with everything to lose, with death assured if they failed, to stand up to a king? Or colonists with no military experience to go toe to toe with the most powerful military in the world? to adapt and utilize the minimal resources they had, to think enough of their pursuit to travel to France, to request support, to scrap together a win in Saratoga

to be considered just legitimate enough to obtain some international recognition. So the idea is yes, yes, yes, they were lucky. But without those things, the action and persistence and self-belief and the tenacity with which they moved into that great unknown, there is no luck to be had. It's true then.

It's true now. The effort never guarantees success, but the lack of it guarantees failure. You can't ensure that those fishing nets will be full after your expedition. But keeping the ship in the harbor ensures those nets will be empty. I guess that's why that period of American history is so moving to me. It's people who gave everything for an outcome that was anything but guaranteed. planting a seed and hoping that years later others could eat the fruit. It's a pretty cool part.

He's writing a letter to his wife and he says, I must study politics and war. That our sons may have the liberty to study math and philosophy. Our sons ought to study math and philosophy and geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, etc., etc. Is any of that guaranteed? Absolutely not, but nothing is. It's why progress and courage are so inseparable, because there will be times in our

lives when we fall short, when the pursuit feels in vain, when the odds are small. And yes, you have the option to look at the road in front of you and see all that you don't have, how ill-equipped, how ill-prepared, how not ready for what's to come. But you also have the option to start moving, creating, believing, preparing your net, building yourself up. Because when luck presents itself, you'll be as ready as you can possibly be. And if you swing and miss, not personalize the result, but adjust the pieces and be ready for the next time. So no, going back to that luck manufacturer, we don't create luck, but we do have the power and the ability to create ourselves.

And if that's a pursuit you're willing to commit to, to immerse yourself in, you will have, in essence, established a relationship with chance, not making luck, but receiving it. because you anticipated its arrival long before it materialized and worked to make yourself its most appealing suitor.