Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - TIME TO FOCUS | Powerful Motivation | Speeches To Start Your Day Right!

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

“My success, part of it certainly, is that I have focused in on a few things.”— Bill Gates

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I want you to visualize this. I want you to visualize a world where you know where you're certain that good ideas flow through you. Where the world around you needs and appreciates your courage, your decision making. Imagine a world where you aren't reliant on anyone or anything to fix the issues in your life, to make things better. Instead, you see yourself as the guy or gal that makes it happen that steps up. You're responsible for being the change you want to.

see. I want you to imagine stepping outside your house, shoulders back, head held high, excited to go chase down all that opportunity. Because one, you know it's there and two, you know you are worthy of it. Now hold that thought and think, this could be the reality you live. As soon as you wait for it, give yourself permission to live that way. How do you? How different would your life be if you green-lit those things? See, it's hard to break away from the framing that we've given ourselves, especially over time, how it's materialized. It's hard to reinvent the identity you've created for the person staring back at you in the mirror.

But the truth is, all worthwhile things are hard. I love the Robin Sharma quote. It says, if you want what only the 5% have, you need to be willing to do, but only the 5% are willing to do. I'm sure this could be physical, dedication, long hours. Could be a lot of things. But before any of that, how about seeing yourself worthy of someone who can become the 5%? That in and of itself is hard. In fact, believing that for me was one of the greatest challenges of my life.

seeing myself as that person, right? That doesn't come easy. It has to be chipped away at, earned. But when you create that mentality, when you hold on tight and you walk towards it relentlessly, you become it. Little by little, day by day. So much of life is making yourself believe you are who you want to be.

It's a perpetual feedback loop of sorts. You believe you are. So you act like it, which then reinforces your belief, which prompts greater action. And around and around we go. I'm going to give you sort of an arbitrary example of how powerful this can be. A few months ago, for the first time, I hired a cleaning service, which my rationale used to be dude, put on a podcast, zone out, clean up a little bit once a week who cares right but that little investment changed a lot one my place looks nicer so i feel better and i'm more productive it's consistently just nicer to be

here and two and most important is that it prompts me to think like the creator and founder and business owner i want to be it helped prompt a mental shift or further a mental shift. It says, I am the type of person who's very methodical with my time. My time equals too valuable to do anything that doesn't push my art or business forward. It's that simple. And that bleeds into other decisions I make, pushes that loop that we talked about. Some investments are valuable and that they help shape your perception. On days where I'm writing, where I'm not going out or I have no meetings. I try not to wear sweatpants and a basketball jersey. At first it's like who it's comfortable. Who cares? No one's around. Yeah, true.

But with the type of person we visualized at the beginning of this episode, wear that. Probably not. He'd probably try and be more consistent in how he felt and how he acted and how he carried himself. It's half the battle. Same thing with waking up early. Is it really the end of the world if I were to sleep in? No, it's really not. But would the type of person we mentioned at the beginning of this episode sacrifice a little bit to get a head start?

I think he would. To me, rolling out of bed whenever we want simply says I'm not quite ready to be the next version of myself or level of myself. I'm okay with how things are, right? there's a sense of ambition and excitement, manufactured urgency in getting up before as the sun's rising. I mean, to me, that's just how it is. Doesn't mean it's the only way, but to me, it's one of life's hidden advantages.

In other words, it's very likely that if you do those things, you will start to feel like the type of person who does those things, and there's power in that. You know, we can do so much, create so much change, add so much value. But we don't even consider it in many cases because it feels too foreign. We're nowhere near giving ourselves permission to pursue that greatness we're capable of obtaining. Our day-to-day looks very different. Our actions, right, the decisions we make are very different.

In order to grow, we have to set ourselves and the world around us up for growth. We have to surround ourselves with people. that push us towards the place we want to be. Do things that align with our intended trajectory. Arrange the pieces so that they are indicative of what's possible. Not what was. I keep learning how small the adjustments are in life that shape and reshape our reality.

So small that no wonder they're laughed at, ignored. It's the little things we do that comprise how we feel, how we see ourselves. The identity, the role we play, is just the culmination of these little decisions over time. So as you wake up in the morning, remember, you are that person, the one who moves with confidence, who acts with courage, who helps and adds value to those around him. Good ideas do flow through you. Greatness is waiting to be unveiled, but you need to believe it for yourself and start making. the little adjustments that will reinforce it.

Get that feedback loop in motion. How you feel becomes what you do becomes how you feel becomes what you do. And it'll amaze you that you didn't free yourself sooner, that you didn't unleash your potential earlier. As the saying goes, the best time to a planted a tree was 20 years ago, the second best best is right now. So close your eyes, visualize how great life will become, and start planting. This weekend, I needed to shut off for a little bit.

So I got some Chipotle, yep, big night. Picked a random episode of Game of Thrones, sat on my couch, and I put my feet up. Apparently though the universe had other plans for me, because I swear I was a few minutes in, and I heard one of the most incredible quotes I've ever heard, which sent me in 400 directions thinking about how to share it and delve into it with you guys on the podcast. So, hey, sometimes you plan to sit there and watch make-believe armies fight, and you end up instead putting together an essay. Life in the big city, right? But the scene I'm talking about, there's a character named Sansa Stark, for anyone who hasn't seen it. And at this point in the show, you know, she's lost her family, been away from home, essentially on the run for a long time,

sitting by herself kind of sulking, reminiscing, building a little replica of her old home in the snow that was on the ground as she sat there. And basically, just to set the scene, this little kid comes up, stomps on it, sounds like it's mad, hits the kid, she's just devastated by everything, exhausted by it all. And roughly that time a second character walks up, a guy named Peter Baylish. And Sansa, standing up over her broken snow castle, says, I was trying to remember what everything looked like. I'll never see it again. To which Peter replies,

A lot can happen between now and never. If you want to build a better home, first you must demolish the old one. He's implying that Sansa might think she wants to go home, but home is essentially gone. That place she knew, that place she wants to go back to, it's destroyed. The people she loved are no longer there. She thinks she wants to go back to that place. Because she's lost and scared and alone, and the human condition is always to return to the comfort of what we left,

to recapture that feeling of clarity. But to truly find herself what she needs to do, is destroy that version of home and build a new one. To start again. To become something worthy of a new home, one that's more conducive to life now, which is her character arc for the rest of the show, slowly evolving into that person.

See, life is this interesting cycle of dying and being born again. Of leaving old things behind in order to build a new. the old you can only give what the old you always gave. So when life demands more of us, we have a real problem on our hands. What you knew is now insufficient. It's not enough. Sure, it was enough yesterday, but today is a different story. And we're always put in this situation,

where the road before us is asking more of us than we've ever given. It demands more than we know how to accommodate. This is when it becomes very easy to misdiagnose home. To think the answer is behind us. What we need is buried beneath what was. When in reality what was is no longer sufficient. What we really need is to set the past ablaze in order to create space for what must be brought to life.

Home is an evolution, a cycle. As our world changes, we evolve right along with. with it. As old beliefs fall, new ones are built. As the old way is lost, a new way is found. By clinging to old, you sentence yourself to the never, Sonsa was so adamant about it, at the expense of the infinite abundance and opportunity that's out there. It's worth noting that the phoenix does not descend from the clear blue sky. He rises from the ashes. It's after the old world falls that the new one emerges. I'm not the same person I was in 2014 when I left what I was doing to do what I'm doing now.

That version of me died. And then again, when I packed up my things and relocated my life and business in South Florida. And then again, when I changed how I positioned myself, how I thought of myself in the world, and again and again and a multitude of time since then. This current version of myself is dying as we speak, making room for the new. Every time I find myself at a transition point, it's pain, it's unlearning things I knew to be true, I was sure of.

It's taking a sledgehammer to the old realities so that new ones can take their place. So that saying, a lot can happen between, Now and Never. Yeah, anything can exist between now and never. The world is limitless between now and never if you understand what never means. Because the old you could never have the things, meet the people, go the places, or become the person that you will be someday.

The old you could never see the world the way you do or the way that you will, but the old you was never supposed to. What we once called home, our past, our understandings of life, they were critical, they set the stage for now. They brought us this strange intersection of who we once were and who we now need ourselves to be. It's not that crawling on the ground. ground was wrong, it's that we are now required to grow our wings, to set ablaze the previous parameters so that new rules can be written. Change hurts, but it hurts far less than carrying the old you into eternity while infinite possibility is left on the shelf.

It hurts far less than equating your life now to what's been taken away or loss. from the ashes of what was. Life will ask you to be better, more capable, it will ask you for more. Meet its call. Over and over again, meet its call. For anyone willing to let go of the old and give life to the new,

a lot can happen between now and never. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great time. place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master esthetician, is more than just a skincare company. With four skin-conscious categories, skin care, beauty, body care, and fragrance, Dime offers simple, spa-worthy products that will help you enter 2025 with confidence. Whether you're revitalizing your regimen with nourishing products or building one from scratch, Dime makes it easy. The work system, our all-in-one best-selling routine, includes

a cleanser of your choice, toner, serums, and moisturizers, taking the guesswork out of skin care for your healthiest, happiest skin yet. Dime's commitment to clean ingredients and sustainable packaging ensures every product is as gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dimebeautyco.com. That's dimebeautyco.com. Your best skin awaits. Hey there, it's Ryan Sechrest for Safeway. Now through February 25th,

Doc up on your favorite self-care items and save up to $3. Shop in store or online for items like Old Spice Deodorant. Always ultra-thin pads. Gillette Fusion Razors and Refills. Old Spice Total Body Spray. Tampax Pearl and Gillette Mach 3 Razors and Refills and save up to $3. You won't want to miss out on these deals. Offer ends February 25th.

Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit Safeway.com for more detail. There are a few things you just can't learn from a textbook that you have to live through to see to be fully entrenched in, because here is a simple truth. This world is a tough place. Getting what you want, making the most of the time you have requires that you put yourself in the position to succeed.

It means you see a finish line before one exists. Look, no one's ever going to call you and tell you how incredible your idea is. You can't build a business on potential or win a championship on promise results are binary. You either accomplish something or you simply did not. Right? That's it. That's what people see the result. So that means every second, every step of the way from where you are right now until you cross the finish line depends on you and your. thoughts, how you internalize failure, how you look at setbacks. When no one is around to pat you on the back or tell you how great you are, will you have

enough self-belief to move forward? Because my friends, that's the hardest part. That's what no one talks about. Having the courage to wake up every single day of your life and know that you are building towards something incredible. You are creating a masterpiece from the ground up. And that means that when you're looking in the mirror, you believe in what's staring back at you.

You see the unseen, and you are willing to bring it to life. That is the foundation that you build greatness on. And it's a daily pursuit, creating milestones, designing the small winds that keep you going, that keep you moving, that get you past all those times you so desperately want to turn around, but know that for you, it simply isn't an option. That is not your reality. You have more waiting for you.

And so you press on, cloaked in confidence, you move into the unknown, seeking the day the rest of the world looks up and calls you lucky. They'll look at what you built and say how fortunate you are, but they won't comprehend the 20-hour days, the focus, the ridicule for being different or obsessive or non-conformist. They won't know that self-belief trumped all of that, that it was everything. The word great is separate for a reason. It implies a specific set of beliefs and values. It means you saw light when most people saw darkness.

It means you said yes when most people said no, you move forward when the rest of the world turned around. Believe in your greatness. See it. Live it. It is there and you need to know that it's there because it will make all the difference. Your self-belief will define you. One of my favorite anecdotes or mantras.

is work hard in silence, let success be your noise. That idea in my mind is perfection. Let your growth, your evolution, and yes, ultimately your accolades do this speaking for you. This always hit home for me for two reasons. One, because things of value come with a hefty price tag. We know this. Excellence requires sacrifice. It is in many ways both a daunting and worthwhile pursuit.

And two, well, because we often conflate flailing around with progress. In fact, some of my favorite books, whether it be Deep Work by Cal Newport, Relentless by Tim Grover, The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday, part of what captivates me with these is the emphasis on what we are willing to do in silence. behind the scenes. That's where true meaning and value materializes. It's also where it's most difficult to commit and continue forward because in silence, there is no audience clapping for you. There is no validation. When you're building and reading and improving, when you're at the gym or on those calls, establishing that foundation, putting in the hours, it's easy to look around and have doubts.

And our brains go, I did the work, where's the reward? I sacrificed, so where's the payout? It's not intuitive to understand that, hey, it's not visible yet. One of my favorite metaphors, the lily pad pond, in which there is a pond with lilypads, doubling in size every day, and on day 30, the pond is completely covered with them. So what day was the pond half covered? And if we're thinking quickly, we might be inclined to say,

well, half of 30 is 15, so it was half covered on day 15. But that's wrong, because if they're doubling every day, that pond wasn't half covered until day 29, and only a quarter covered on day 28. Meaning every day before then the change was so small that perhaps it wasn't even visible to the naked eye. So small that to onlookers, the prospect of it one day being covered might have seemed far-fetched. But what was at work was the necessary change to set the stage? To start what would ultimately become the exponential growth that is noticeable, impactful.

Now, of course, lilypads are not human, but little thought experiment. Let's say they had been. I'd like to believe that talking about their growth, their plans, right, them screaming about how great they are and what they will someday be would not have helped them grow faster. In fact, it might have potentially even distracted the necessary evolution. The growth was not them versus the world, it was them versus them. And that's the idea, right? It's okay to work on you, to make a deal, sign a contract with yourself that you are doing something now that only you understand.

That won't be visible until a later date. Let success be your noise. Because there's often zero correlation between the loudest person and the one making the greatest impact. Let success be your noise because you can't fake. competency, let success be your noise, because leaders don't need to proclaim they lead, and winners don't need to prove they've won, and virtuous people don't advertise their virtue. It's in the doing. That's where we pay the price, the steep price. I've always said the last 10 years for me, the hardest part wasn't failing. It was not when things didn't go as planned. The hardest part was

simply not knowing. It was the whisper that, hey, all this could be for naught, that I'm wasting my time, that the whole idea is a car without wheels, and that's what hurt. But if I could go back in time, talk to my younger self, I would say, you know, all this, all of it, the ups, downs, highs, lows, it's making you who you need to be. And if something doesn't work or go as you planned it originally, relax. You learn, you adjust, and you move forward. That's how the doubling of lily pads, using the same metaphor, occurs. You're learning, you're growing, and that's a you thing. I talked a few weeks ago now about the difference between a fee and a fine, as discussed in the psychology of money by Morgan Howell. The weight of not knowing it isn't a fine, it's not a

penalty. It's the fee. It's the cost to get into the show, the ticket to something greater. But you have to walk through that door. Again, it's a decision. It's personal. It's a commitment. It's nothing that screaming and seeking attention brings. You have to trust yourself, believe in yourself, right? Your effort is doubling in size. It's compounding exponentially, and you don't need to convince others, you need to say consistent and build yourself up until the world has to notice. Trust the mission you're on. As long as you're one moving forward, and two, learning and adjusting, you are destined for something greater. By committing, you have stacked the deck. By believing in yourself, you have rigged the game. It's about hearing and believing that voice

that says there's more in store for those who take it. And you are capable of that. That's the decision that will ultimately ring so loud it will echo through time. One of the more powerful realizations I've had, both in business and life overall, is that what we do to win today and what we do to position ourselves to win tomorrow,

they're often very different things. And we've probably all experienced this in some capacity. We get sucked into the cycle of doing, becoming so task-oriented that we don't make time to step back and ask which direction do I want this ship to go. Because sure, we have to keep it afloat, and we have to keep it afloat now. But also, we have to navigate.

The ship's role isn't solely to float, right? It's a transportation mechanism, a vehicle. Where are we going? And so the question becomes, how do we balance the two? I came across an awesome book by Lee Benson called Your Most Important Number. And I'm about halfway through, but already finding a ton of value that I'll be sharing in the future, primarily around positioning your business for success. And one of the first things the book discusses is the difference between what Lee calls eating and dreaming.

Eating being the things we need to do now, to take care of matters that are essential for today, the things that need to get done. So using the same metaphor, actions to keep that boat afloat. And then there's the dreaming, which is essentially doing things now that help position the organization for success in the future down the road. It's asking, what can I do today that we'll ensure we are winning tomorrow? So boat metaphor, it's planning for storms that may arise later in the journey. It's analyzing the best destinations and charting the course.

And here's what really struck me. Lee suggests, based on his consulting, that ideally leaders should be, I believe the number was 80% dreaming and 20% eating. So yeah, doing what has to be done today, obviously, but largely focused on positioning the organization. and themselves for success in the days to come. And what he's found is that very often out in the world, that ratio is flipped. People are so consumed by the day to day that the future takes a back seat to the nuance

and the quote unquote putting out fires of the present moment. We're spending 80% of our time eating. Now, like most things, this is not one-size-fits-all. A say, front-line manager at a factory is not going to be 80% dreaming, and 20% eating. Their task requirements are different. But the point remains, it's imperative that we, in some capacity, utilize our resources now to look ahead. I don't know if I've ever told this story, but I always joke around with my brother about it. When we were kids in Southern California, we'd have these basically battles on the beach, right, where we'd go down to the hard sand right in front

of the water. And we'd each build these little wall slash fort type things, maybe 20 feet apart from each other. This is like emulating World War I type stuff. And then we'd make cannonballs out of sand and just throw the sand at each other. Right. So in a way, this is a perfect metaphor because we would always be juggling on one hand, building the fort that would protect us from the other person. So dreaming. And then on the other hand, I mean, those things hurt, right? We'd have to in real time be dodging incoming sand simultaneously to building that wall. So the eating.

And he's a bit younger than me, so admittedly this wasn't really fair. But regardless, you know, he would get so consumed with throwing sand that his wall would be really cheaply made. At the beginning, I'd be trying to make this really solid base foundation. He would just be pelting me with this stuff, and it was brutal. But as time went on, I build that wall higher and higher. Eventually it would be lights out for him. He'd have nothing to hide behind. The young buck was doing, let's say, way less than 80% dreaming.

And so I'm no longer building castles in the sand. But as the rose said, now I'm looking to build them in the air, seeking to bring things into life that are merely ideas and concepts in my head. And naturally, this prompted me to ask, well, what's my ratio now? Because it sure feels like I'm doing a lot of eating. It sure feels like I spend a lot of time every day, you know, dodging Mikey Peas, incoming sand cannon balls, right? Things are going to be different tomorrow than they are today.

And to truly win, we need to be asking ourselves, how do you know, How do we build that bridge from the present to the future? How do we lay out stepping stones that will allow an evolution in what we're doing? And I'm thinking if my day's 95% consumed with eating type tasks, then I need to figure things out here, right? Is it automate? Is it delegate? It's something because the ship needs to be more effectively captained.

And I love these epiphanies. just a change in mindset that can completely redirect one's entire trajectory. And it's funny, I was having a conversation earlier today with a friend about scaling and impact and growth. Another person I love to throw ideas back and forth to, and he asked me, well, Eddie, what are some of the ways your world within could make money? And I was like, oh, it's easy, right? And so I laid it all out in great detail, the ins and outs.

He says, that's awesome. But that's not the question I asked you. You answered a different question. You answered, how is the business making money now? I asked, how can it make money in the future? Boom, another epiphany, one of those instances where you catch yourself thinking small. And this isn't a knock on the work I'm doing now, or the systems in place now. They're great now, but again, now isn't forever.

If you have plans to add more value and create more impact, build more things, that has to be baked into your time and resource allocation. We all have to eat because we don't want to starve, but we also have to dream. Because if we're unable to look ahead, we simply will not be equipped to handle the turbulence of tomorrow. There's a duality to this game. And I think the ratio with which we're juggling the two deserves consistent attention and examination. Now, yeah, life is seasonal. There are times where keeping that ship afloat takes everything we have,

but it's understanding that that is a season and not the way things are. Dreaming allows us to start moving in the right direction, even if it's one small step at a time. at a time. Building today piece by piece, something we can stand on tomorrow, a staircase, to the version 2.0 and 3.0 and 4.0. The future depends on what we do today, and so we must create space for that seed to grow. We must chart the course and captain the ship to the next horizon. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start.

Dime Beauty, founded by a master aesthetician, is more than just a skincare company. With four skin conscious categories, skin care, beauty, body care, and fragrance, Dime offers simple, spa-worthy products that will help you enter 2025 with confidence. Whether you're revitalizing

your regimen with nourishing products or building one from scratch, Dime makes it easy. The work system, our all-in-one best-selling routine, includes a cleanser of your choice, toner, serums, and moisturizers. Taking the guesswork out of skin care for your healthiest, happiest skin yet. Dime's commitment to clean ingredients and sustainable packaging

ensures every product is as gentle on your skin as it is on the planet. With thousands of glowing five-star reviews and a loyal community, the results speak for themselves. Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting Dimebeautic.com. That's Dimebeautcom. Your best skin awaits. Hey there, it's Ryan Cicrest for Safeway.

Now through February 25th, stock up on your favorite self-care items and save up to $3. Shop in store or online for items like Old Spice Deodorant, always ultra-thin pads, Gillette Fusion Razors and Refills, Old Spice Total Body Spray, Tampax Pearl, and Gillette Mach 3 Razors and Refills and save up to $3. You won't want to miss out on these deals. Offer ends February 25th. Offers may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit Safeway.com for more detail.

Nothing in life is as important. as you think it is while you are thinking about it. This was written by the author of Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman. And what he's referring to is a cognitive bias known as the focusing illusion. Pretty basic idea means that we elevate the importance of things that we think about while ignoring other aspects of our lives. By thinking about something, it suddenly matters more to us. And while it's easy to interpret this disconnect between our thoughts and reality is alarming,

there's also an opportunity here to use this to our advantage, right? To further become the captain of your ship. I've heard my entire life, think positive thoughts. We all have. But there's value in understanding why that's true, right? Otherwise it just feels like a meaningless ritual. So Conneman talks about a study with college students where they were asked about their overall level of happiness and then they were asked about their dating lives and the answers they gave there were really you know there was no correlation between the two answers but when the order of the questions were switched when the students were asked about their dating lives first and then their overall happiness the correlation between the two answers increased right the answer they gave gave about their overall happiness mirrored however they said their dating lives were at least to a much

greater extent why well because dating became the variable or the framework that they used to measure their overall happiness even though perhaps they didn't know it right but by focusing on it it became more relevant it bled into other aspects of life right you get what you focus on it's that simple And the truth is, as I mentioned earlier, nothing is as important as we think it is. Everything is magnified, kind of blown out of proportion in our minds. So the question is, why not use that as an advantage? Why not let that become our strength, realizing that if simply thinking about something can change the trajectory of how we view the world, it can be transformative to simply minimize the bad thoughts and focus on good ones.

Have you ever thought about how delicate the line we walk between not caring enough and caring too much? For example, to feel like existence is pointless. Everything's bad. There's no reason to try. That makes it hard to get off the couch, right? lacking that purpose. But then on the entire

other end of the spectrum, to feel like life is riding on every step, to feel like we're not allowed the flexibility or leeway to make mistakes, life matters too much. That also severely limits how we live,

just in a different way. And so I want to explore how do we find that middle ground? How do we find, that picture in our heads that puts us right where we need to be. The idea that, of course, today is important. Life is a beautiful opportunity to extract meaning from the world around you, to build something that matters.

But it's also no checklist. It's no standardized test. No, it's more of a game. We shouldn't be walking around with the weight of the world on our shoulders, on our shoulders because that doesn't help anyone. Let's face it, life is just not all that serious. As a good friend of mine, Steve always says to me, you know, we are sacks of meat on a rock floating through an infinite, ever-expanding universe,

and nothing matters. I've heard him say that a million times, right? Let's go, let's do it. Nothing matters. Let's make it happen. And I'm 100% get it. It's a check against the idea that the world will collapse if we screw up. That if we drop the ball, it's over.

Kind of pointing to the fact that the only way to truly lose in life is to look back and realize we were too scared to live. And so in that context, absolutely, I'm on the nothing matters bandwagon. But here's the deal about this video or podcast episode, however you're consuming it. In a perfect world, it's a buffet. not a menu, it's an opportunity for you to think, to reflect, to pick and choose the pieces here that will help move you along.

Because after all, you know, we're all walking different paths. So how could one person present a one-size-fits-all solution to anything? No, the goal is to understand the framework by which we operate. To understand that the thoughts we think have a monumental impact on how we live. And so if you find yourself on the uninspired side of things, know that there's not a problem with you. You just haven't found a path that lights you up. You are perhaps focusing on the wrong things, right? Not leaving space for the right ones.

And if you find yourself constantly smothered by the weight of your own expectations, if every little step, decision, or movement matters too much, know that you are perhaps creating adversaries that don't exist, that you are right where you need to be, but you have to let yourself live, experience life. One of the most beautiful Victor Franco quotes I've ever heard, he says, ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is,

he who is asked. There is so much power packed into this idea. It's like when you look around and see the outside world backing you into a corner, dictating to you how things should be, remember that you don't take orders from the external world. You create the external world when all you see is negative. When all you feel are reasons to turn back, when the good in life is hiding away, reach out and find the positive. The one thing that can pick you up and carry you forward.

And look, I'm not advocating that we live in this state of delusion. I'm not saying close your eyes, cover your ears, and pretend everything's great. I'm saying every day, every situation provides at least one thing you need to be closer to where you want to be. And it just so happens that we're not always inclined to see that one thing, that solution. It just so happens that we need to become aware to remind ourselves. So this is your reminder to look for it.

Your reminder to focus on the things that live. you up that breathe life into you, not the things that keep you down. And so here's to finding that sweet spot, right? Walking the line between Victor Frankel's meaning starts with you. And my old pal Steve's mantra, nothing matters, so go live your life. This is not a race. If you're not being graded on the outcome here, you're giving yourself permission to experience that jolt you get when you open your eyes as the sun comes up each morning, knowing that

how you're about to spend your time will be a product of the game you designed. A game in which, yes, you'll feel lost from time to time. You'll lose that North Star every so often. You'll question the journey you're on. But guess what? When you take responsibility for the circumstance, you also empower yourself to right the ship. You're at the wheel playing the game of life as it was meant to be played on your terms. If it does not serve you, let it go.

If it doesn't help you move beyond it. As Connemon states, our thoughts grossly over-exaggerate. that reality on the ground. So let that framework emphasize your passion, your strength and your dreams, not the inverse. What we focus on, we get. So believe in yourself with such conviction that those around you look on and wonder

what gave you the right to see those things? What made you think it was okay to believe in that which you believe. You never got a permission slip in the mail. You never stumbled upon a permit that granted you access to the good things in life. No, you just came to understand the game and how it's played.

You came to see that we have options. The option to find the bad and the option to find the good. The choice to see why you can't and the choice to see why you will. That's what will separate you from both your past self and those looking on from afar. See, change is never a product of magic as people seem to think. No, most often, it's taking on the challenge of seeing what is not yet there. Stepping into the arena with possibility, with the upside.

So today, see it. Focus on it, lock it in, and don't let go. With everything you have, all that's within you, don't let go. For everything tomorrow can be, for everything you have always been, don't let go. What can you be the best in the world at? Life is a complex place. Complexity sometimes means confusion. It means we forget the big picture. What's our purpose?

What are we chasing? What are we bringing to the world? What can you be the best in the world at? It's a little question I try and ask myself every day because I know if I stay close to it, my decision will have far greater impact. There will be more meaning in life. See, it pushes away the things that are appealing in the short term,

but really don't take us anywhere in the long term. Because one of the coolest aspects of human nature is our ability to illuminate what matters and, well, mitigate what doesn't. Helps us focus on what's important. We need to go to the grocery store while we step out the front door, paying attention to nothing but the task at hand,

not the objects to our left or right. We don't know what colors the cars were that passed us by or the plants we walk by. We don't think about the blood pumping through our bodies making it all possible as we walk to the colors the car. We don't even see the car as its metallic components as it really is. We see it as our portal to a place that has the food. See, we are blind, but at the same time have this beautiful gift of vision. We see the path right to what's most important. So let's leverage that. And what I think

we need to remember is to identify in our own lives what that means with regard to our purpose and the context of what we are becoming. See, every day I hear people talk about followers on social media, right? How do I get attention? How do we get noticed? How do I market myself or my brand to the world? How do I stand out? And every time I hear that, I always have this little internal reaction,

like a voice saying that's just so wrong, it's so backwards. Do you stand out by adding value to the world? By being good at what you do. It's that simple. And so look at it like this. We'll take a specific exhibit. To worry about the marketing and the attention and the followers first is like worrying about the transportation of something you don't have yet or that's incomplete. It's like spending all your time worrying about the logistics of a cargo van and having no idea what that van is going to transport.

Isn't the product the most important thing? And that's the question I ask myself when I'm caught up in something flashy or maybe out of line with my big picture. To make sure I'm on track in this crazy world, if social media disappeared, tomorrow are you good enough at what you do that you could take that product or service or skill set to another platform and start again and if you're not fine but are you working towards it those are the parameters that we should all live between everything else tends to work itself out Steve Martin's quoted as saying be so good they can't ignore you and that's what I find so exciting the opportunity the chance to build something sustainable that's why this is a long-term

And in a world where so much emphasis is put on perception, what's the reality? What's the story? Right? The pictures are great on the surface, but what's the value that resides below that underneath? What are you working tirelessly day and night to be exceptional at? What are you leading to build yourself up as a force to be reckoned with? As a powerful, valuable individual. See, my world, a lot of what I do is immersed in social media, which is why it's so important.

that I remember the perspective that I step out. Social media is not the product. I'm thinking much bigger than that, and I hope you are too, whether it's academics or sports or art, what is your thing, what's going to be your arena? Where are you unstoppable?

Where you add so much value that the world has to stop? We're sure, you can capture it on social media, but you can talk about it face-to-face with clients and family and friends and strangers on the sidewalk. You can write about it, teach about it, where it's so much a part of you that the phrase competent doesn't even do it

justice. That's where greatness lives. Not in screaming for attention or creating a facade, those things don't stand the test of time. I'm talking about being truly remarkable. And we all have that ability. We're all capable of mastery in some area moving towards something that matters. We just have to make the choice to own it, to see the world and all its opportunity for what it is, to begin. And what better a time than now. There's a quote attributed to Seneca that states no man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself. meaning it's in pursuing the difficult thing that we obtain meaning,

recognition that we prove ourselves, but prove ourselves to whom. This is the same Seneca who famously stated that we suffer more in imagination than we do in reality, that he is most powerful who has power over himself. And that's one of the beautiful things about stoicism. It makes us ask a very simple, that often overlook question, who's really the adversary here? Who's the opposition we're dealing with as we fight our battles?

What is it that must be transformed? Is it the outside world? Or the way our eyes view the outside world? What's really holding us back? The circumstances? Or our own personal thoughts about the world? circumstances. And I think this is where we misunderstand the challenges before us. I want to delve into this power of perspective to explain that we are the gatekeepers between ourselves and our

ideal lives. And very often we do a good job of ensuring that gate stays closed. We sabotage our own goals, our own dreams, our own happiness, while simultaneously pointing the finger at a million externalities. See, when we look at the difficulties of life, and there's no doubt that life can be a very difficult thing, it's easy to look at the world as this binary playing field, me versus the world. And in fact, we often visualize the world as the enemy pushing back against us,

as if its motives were counter to ours. But so many of these narratives, these stories, they actually say nothing about the outside world. And when we look deeper, it becomes apparent that they actually say a whole lot more about us. It's the one viewing that gets to decipher what the circumstance means. And so all narratives are reflections of the observers. Jim Rhone used to tell a story about two brothers. who had an alcoholic father. He'd come home drunk.

He'd abuse his sons. They had a terrible childhood. And as they each grew up and had families of their own, their paths kind of diverged. One became abusive, and the other was kind and loving and caring. And when confronted, the now abusive brother stated, well, look, how can you blame me?

Don't you see how I was raised? But the kind, loving, and caring brother stated, of course I'm like this. I could never put my family through what I went through as a child. Same circumstances. Different lenses, interpretations, which means different real world result. And the idea here is to emphasize how one of the most important abilities a human being possesses is the ability to interpret the world around him. I think of us as subjects navigating a world of objects,

as though the things around us don't have meaning until we place meaning upon them. That's what humans do. Create narratives out of objects. And that often overlooked, seemingly insignificant ability, places a lot of power in our hands. Very rarely is it what we see. It's what we think and what we do about what we see. You ever hang out with people that just tend to be happy, upbeat, positive energy? I have a very good friend like that where his first inclination is always to find the positive.

In moments where I've sort of trained myself to pause, take a second, sift through the emotion, and uncover the value in a tough situation, refocus, and take a strategic step forward, I look over at him and he's already arrived there. He's been there for three minutes, right? Eliminated the negativity, it's his first instinct. He's the metaphorical kid hopping around in puddles, whistling at the top of his lungs,

while everyone else is hiding out from the rain, or at least trying to find the courage to run out onto the street with. Then there are people who seem to always find the negative. It doesn't really matter what this situation is. Happiness is fleeting, only to reveal the negativity that never seems to go away, right? The kind of person that if they won the lottery, their first thought might be, oh, no, but what if I lose it all? Both examples are people projecting themselves onto the world around them. The same way that smoke covers and consumes an entire room.

It's not the room that's the culprit. Here's another example from Jim Rhone, since we're on a Jim Rhone kick. He's making a similar point, and this is all from a collection of speeches. He has on Audible comparing humans to oranges, which is probably not a comparison you've made recently, but he said there's consistency to an orange and that it can be filled with one thing. When you squeeze an orange, orange juice is coming out, period. never be apple juice or grape food juice. It will only emit what it has inside, which is orange juice. And while here's the connection, when life pressures us, challenges us, or metaphorically

squeezes us, we only emit the emotions that are contained and available, that are alive and well within us. If there is no jealousy contained in our thinking, we're not going to be able to going to project jealousy out into the world. If there is no hatred within us, we will not project hatred onto others. Why is that powerful? It's powerful. Because again, it's one of the most important things you can do. Certainly one of the most important things I've learned to do is take that finger pointing

blame at the outside world, slowly turn it around and point it back at myself and ask, What thoughts? What emotions? What ideas am I letting live inside my head? That's altering the narrative, the story I'm telling about myself and the world that I live in. And while one might think, well, that's uncomfortable, that's unfair, a little extreme, why should I point at myself? It's not my fault. I would challenge you, at least for the sake of the next few minutes, to see such a change as empowering, as your advancement. as the bridge from where you are to where you want to be see if you always have feelings of let's say jealousy around a particular person that feeling in your stomach like oh they have it all they're ahead right they live how I want to

live they're this and that and I kind of hate them for it you're naively giving the external world the power you're saying I feel the way I do because of that out there some cosmic injustice you are power because you're neglecting your personal agency as a factor. But when you turn that finger around and say, I only feel this way because I'm allowing myself to, then you can ask the question. So many never think to ask.

Why? Why do I feel this way? Which lights a path to how can I fix it? See, the key to a better life is really to a better life is realizing you don't have to be in the passenger seat pointing at and blaming the driver complaining about the road being taken no you can get into the driver's seat you can take the wheel you can take control inherit responsibility and there's more at stake there's greater vulnerability but the upside is unfathomable and i find myself thinking all the time man people are blaming

the wrong things. They're shifting blame to the wrong adversaries. The real villain here is not the driver or the road or the weather. The real villain is the voice in your head pleading with you not to take the wheel. Pleading with you to ride shotgun and complain as the world passes you by. And of course it makes sense to qualify that with the inevitability. that there are some things placed upon us that are just bigger than us, that we can't control. And you can make a list however long you want to, natural disasters, decisions, and actions of others, health problems. We don't often get to choose the landscape.

So as the Stoics would say, understand that. Understand what you can't control and what you can. Because the beauty is that you can control how you navigate that. landscape and that is power. That is what makes the difference. See the two brothers, I mentioned a few moments earlier, same landscape. Different navigational tactics, different view of what it all meant. One took the wheel and one did not. So that's Seneca quote that states no man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity.

he is not permitted to prove himself. Well, it's perfectly clear, as far as I'm concerned, the question is not whether or not to face adversity. I think we all understand that. What I hope we take from today is a better understanding of what the true adversity is. A better understanding of the fact that in front of us there is always an answer,

a key to every lock. Some people just don't think to look. They're so busy peering around every corner for external enemies and scapegoats that they don't give themselves permission to succeed. Maybe unfortunate, but it's true. You can hit the bull's eye over and over again. But if it's the wrong target, it won't do much for you.

You might as well have missed by 50 feet. And I think that is what we overlook. You can't always fix the outside world. You can't change the unchangeable, but you can always change yourself. You can always fix you. As Tolstoy said, everyone wants to change the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. You're capable of being both your greatest adversary and ally. So choose wisely.

Because the world around you will do nothing more than respond accordingly to your decision.