Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - TIME TO WAKE UP AND STOP WASTING YOUR POTENTIAL | Wake Up Positive | Morning Motivation

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

"For things to change, you have to change." - Jim Rohn

There's a haze that circles around our most important moments. And I say haze, because often the things that will be most meaningful in our lives or that will best position us for future transformation or success, they don't accurately depict the value that they ultimately provide. In fact, a lot of the time we get the opposite impression. The answer is deceptively masked as the problem. The thing we are most inclined to run away from. It's often unclear to us that the pain we're experiencing will become the purpose.

The loss will become the strength. We can't always see that losing the job will become our reason to find ourselves and the work that will be most meaningful. We don't always understand that losing someone that was a big part of our lives will ultimately create a little space that will bring about connection with others who will lift us up and make us better. We aren't always aware that falling short is incredibly powerful because it's what most often prompts us to look in the mirror and ask that magical question, how can I be better? Again, we see it in a million different ways, different contexts, the solutions masquerade as problems, or as has been famously put, the way often presents itself as the obstacle. Which means we have to operate with a sense of awareness and understanding that often alludes us. Sometimes the reality is that it hurts to let go.

But if it's not right for you, it hurts to hold on as well. The difference is when you do find the strength to let go, you simultaneously create space for the things that will make your life better. And I've noticed, you know, as I've navigated this crazy place well into my 30s, that the discomfort I've experienced in the past, it rarely utilizes my future as its benchmark. When I'm uncomfortable, it's because something has gone awry in the now. This moment hurts.

In this moment, I feel less than. In this moment, I feel lost. In this moment, I am X, Y, or Z. It's all generally immediate, emotive responses to what's happening. Which is why I advocate so strongly for pausing, pulling back, taking a breath, and assessing the whole picture. in totality. See, I've made decisions in my life that have set me back a year, right, that destroyed me emotionally, totally altered my plans. And I look back on some of those decisions now

with all the pain they brought, and I think, you know, was there another way? Did I make the right move? Did I need to endure all that? And I'm not going to pretend, you know, I know how some parallel universe would have unfolded if I acted differently. But as I reflect back, I still think that I made the right choice. I don't see another way. Sometimes there are no easy decisions. Sometimes life is about choosing the least bad option. I've talked about having to step back in order to leap forward.

Or stepping sideways in order to ultimately advance. Sometimes the thing we need just looks like discomfort, the sheep in wolves clothing, where you have to seek out monsters in order to destroy the ones that live inside of you. The reason, one, I think this is so important, and two, I'm so passionate about sharing it with others, is because, again, our instincts drive us away from the things we need most. It's just how it is. Humans are more emotional than we are rational. And there have been plenty of times where, you know, just being reminded,

Eddie, I get that this is challenging, but where do you most want to go? Eddie, you're playing defensive, which I'm sure minimizes problems now, but will never propel you forward with your career. Eddie, you're dragging your feet and calling it perfectionism. Could it in fact be fear? I've had a lot of these little, and sometimes not so little, epiphanies over the course of the last decade. When people ask me about speaking, which being that I do it for a living would make sense, right? Tips or insights, whatever it is, I'm being completely sincere when I say that I wish I had some formula I could propose, right, that would make you go from zero to 60 in three months.

But the truth is, the biggest bang for your buck is stepping right in. into the terror, the thing you're most inclined to run from. And that was it for me, right? Shear terror, actually shaking nights where I stayed awake, reciting keynotes into hotel mirrors, couldn't eat. And I'd wrap up, the event would be over, I'd just go back to the room and collapse in bed because I hadn't slept the night before, right?

That's how it started. And the more times I didn't give myself a way out, The more I saw past the fear, put emotions aside, and reiterated to myself that underneath all that discomfort was value, the better I became. The less dramatic each speaking engagement became. And the terror evolved into excitement. Eddie, please get through this. Eventually evolved into Eddie, how can you make this speaking engagement more exciting, more

fun, more captivating than the last one. I recently spoke at the MGM Grand Arena and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. And I'm sure you can imagine, not necessarily because of the event. But it prompted me to think back to all those times I wanted to say no so badly with all my heart, with every fiber of my being, but didn't. It was just a proud feeling. Like you get those moments from time to time where.

everything becomes a single snapshot. It all makes sense. Because over times I truly didn't understand why I was moving forward. I just did. I just knew I'd burn the boats. There were no other options. And when you collect that W, you quickly remember. And so all this, to emphasize the very important point,

that it may not be speaking at the MGM Grand Arena that you're North Star. Maybe it's something totally different. But I want to remind you that the road to wherever you most want to be is not perfectly paved and decorated with flowers. It won't always be sunny with clear blue skies, and to take it even further, the paths that are paved with flowers and clear blue skies are often the wrong ones. In a world of trade-offs, we know that the best things often require the greatest sacrifice. the beautiful things are often derived from a willingness to endure prior turbulent.

And should you find yourself amidst all that in the thick of it, it's essential to know that should you choose to do so you can transform the chaos into something incredible. Realistically, that pain of loss we can't do anything about, right? Nature has made it so that we feel every sense of what's been. been taken away. But nature doesn't do such a good job of reminding us of the infinite value that can now move into our souls, be used to open our eyes so that we may see the world as we've never seen it before. There is such power and the ability to view that fleeting emotion, the discomfort of now in terms of what it will ultimately become. As the saying goes, the heart

hardest thing and the right thing are often the same thing. So be your own judge, your own critic. Decide what best points you to that place amongst the stars you long to be. Just understand that the road won't be pain free and those who try to make it so miss out on a lot of the brilliance available to us. That haze that tries to conceal what's most important is only effective if we keep our eyes close, if we aren't honest with ourselves. But if you know, one, what's most important and two are committed to one day arriving there,

the short-term obstacles become a relatively small price to pay. It's easy to look back and think about all the things you could have done differently, especially only since as we get older, we get wiser. Right? Time provides this beautiful gift of clarity. And ultimately we realized things like, maybe a lot of our hesitation was unwarranted. Maybe a lot of our decisions or indecision was fear-based.

And knowing that, it's easy to look over your shoulder and feel like you could have lived a different life or taken a different path. At the very least, wish you'd done things differently. But the reality is, everything you've done has, in fact, taken you here. To this moment, and when you dwell on the past, the should-haves and the could-haves, you completely diminish the power of right now, the current moment. you completely underestimate the knowledge and the wisdom you've been collecting for years whose single job is to assist you in your next move.

It's a compounding of experience. The good, the bad, and the ugly has landed you right here, right now, and how beautiful right here is. The infinite blank page. The forever fresh start. And that's not to say the past doesn't matter, it's to suggest that your prior discomfort, your mistakes and lessons have equipped you to deviate from the routines and the cyclical nature of your past.

The past is a gateway to now, not a life sentence, and there's a difference. You say last year or last month or last week is a way. valueless because you did X when you should have done Y. I say to that. Doing the wrong thing has positioned you to now do the right thing. Potential energy, right? Like a spring being pulled back tighter and tighter and tighter awaiting its opportunity to propel forward. You don't get that without those could-haves and should-haves. They're integral to the process. The reason you'll be different moving forward.

You can say I wish I'd take in more chances. I wish I was bolder. I wish I followed my heart. Two pieces of news for you. One that's fantastic. It seems as though you're now aware of those times you fell short and can therefore mitigate them moving forward. And two, you're not dead yet.

We have to stop looking at yesterday like it's anything but a ladder to greater competence. The gymnasium for your decision making. Anyone can cherry pick the past. But the practical me asks, what does beating yourself up about what's gone do for you? What does it add to your life? Except for enabling and legitimizing the same. same identity you're looking to evolve and move on from.

See, we don't limit ourselves because of right now. It's always because of yesterday. Look what happened. Look what I lost. Look how things turned out. And it's like, take the data and trudge forward. You now have the tools to move right into that darkness of night. And in five years you'll look back and sure you'll wish you did things differently.

And same five years after that. But that's why life is a journey and not a standardized test. We are picking up the pieces as we go, painting the masterpiece one brushstroke at a time. And even though you might wish yesterday's brushstroke was a different color, a little darker, different shade, it's just as valid as all the others in contributing to the mural in its totality. So sure, be your greatest critic. But be your greatest ally as well. And that calls for being bold enough to let go of what's gone.

Extract the value from yesterday and use it to build now. something, anything, that's up to you, but hear the message. It's up to you now. Not who you were yesterday or what you did, not how people saw you or how you used to live your life. You have an opportunity now to go wherever your heart desires. Stronger and wiser at this point in time than you've ever been in your life. So rather than dwell on what's gone, how about asking how you can take those pieces of yourself and build? There's a saying, don't worry about losing other people.

Worry about losing yourself while trying to please other people. And see, holding on to our authentic selves not always easy. In fact, Emerson said to be yourself in a world that is constantly, trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And that holds true. And especially in our fast-paced world, shiny objects constantly buzzing around us. Sometimes it seems like the only way to see with clarity

is to keep our eyes closed. I was in the car the other day, had Spotify on Shuffle. An adjacent al-Deen song came on. It's called Better at Being Who I Am. And it's essentially about a guy who loses himself in a relationship a little bit at a time. And the chorus is basically him sharing his epiphany, looking around and going, whoa, what the hell happened? And it was laid out in a way that wasn't sort of the obvious, blatant, you know, be yourself.

I mean, sure, part of the theme was how important being yourself is, but the emphasis was on how fragile of a thing that can be. He put a spotlight on the idea that he got good at forgetting he was in a place that he knew he didn't belong, how we can become masters of forgetting that, champions of rationalization. And that was his message, being that he has somehow, somewhere,

lost himself along the way. That concession after concession, can ultimately put you in a place where you don't know who you are, where you can know something isn't quite right, and still slowly and subtly it creeps in. It can consume your reality, and that's what cut through me. Not simply because it occurred. It wasn't so much the epiphany itself,

but more so that he showed how easy, the erosion of the self can occur in our lives, how easily we lose ourselves, how sneaky the whole thing can be. And this particular example is pointing to a relationship with his girlfriend, and it certainly can be this. But it doesn't have to be, and often it's not. It can be a job you don't want to do, but hanging in there just one more day turns into more days than you can count.

It can be time with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing, going against your best judgment. It can be the business decision for a short-term gain that ultimately points you in a direction you don't want to go, right? Before giving life to that convenient phrase, well, I've come too far to turn back now. Life is like a small child, always gently tugging on his mom's sleeve to get her to stop doing what she's doing and go get ice cream, right? It's the time. temptation to move away from the task at hand to abandon the principles just slightly, the objectives, just enough that they'll be pulled off track, right? That's always there. And to reiterate, because this nuance is why I think the idea is so important. The message is not simply about being

authentic. I think we all understand the value and necessity of authenticity, or at least I hope, Your value is in who you are. The things that make you unique are the gateway to a life of fulfillment. What makes you you? And how can you delve into that? Share it with the world. That's the good stuff. Okay, so let's presume we know this.

My fascination and goal is to point out the fact that so much around us is looking to take that authenticity and subtly, over time, transform it. that if we are not aware of what we are, we will lose who we are. And that's where you end up in those wrong relationships, wrong places, doing the wrong things. A lot of times it wasn't deliberate or conscious. It wasn't one swing of the axe. It was letting yourself slip away one day at a time. It's the pressure of an infinite number of things, right?

The billion choices you have pulling you in all different directions. It's the people in your life that may have different incentives than you. It's that deep biological tendency to want to appear like you're winning now. It's your brain telling you to do what the crowd does because the alternative creates pain. It's not wanting to let others down because you want to be their source of happiness, completely forgetting that an empty cup has nothing to offer. It's the deception online.

The highlight reels, filtered pictures, humble brags, and exaggerated success stories, all prompting us to say, well then I must have miscalculated. My path must be the wrong path. And maybe we don't come to this realization and immediately jump ship, but we take in a little water every day. Every time we open the app and feel lesser because of an impossible standard, Every time we put the thing that meant something to us on hold for someone else. Every time we chase that shiny object in exchange for what we expect will be short-term validation. But here's the crazy part. It's like when I shut everything off, when it's just me and my thoughts, no distraction,

I have a very good sense of who I am and what I'm. I want, just in my gut. I know what feels right to me. And it's only when the chaos comes in that the target can get blurry and the goal seems to live a little further away. And maybe that's why that song had an impact, why the light bulb went off. The idea that something so obvious, so powerful, so important can elude us and deceive us. There's something to that. I'm better at being who I am. Of course I am. And so are you. So why don't we? Why isn't there an emphasis there?

Why is that something that doesn't get our thought and attention? We can't afford to forfeit that instinct. And so this is the part where I remind myself and everyone listening that you get nothing in life without some semblance of self-trust. You have to take the time to understand who you are and trust yourself to build that from the ground up. Without that, you'll get swept up by the current. of everyday life.

But to know what matters in your world and to hold on to it with conviction, that's what it's all about. And then, yes, you'll have success letting people into your life when they contribute to who you are as a person. When they align with your values, when they feel like wind on your sails.

And yeah, of course, take the proven paths and utilize the beneficial tactics, but only when they align. align with what you are building. If not, walking away is the best option, wandering around until you find alignment. Now that brings more value than a toolbox of the wrong tools.

And sure, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I get that. That's called being responsible. But those things, as annoying as they are, should be contributing to something that does matter to you. to you. The building's foundation is not fun or sexy, but it's necessary. Just make sure you believe in what will ultimately be built on top of it. Otherwise, you are most certainly wasting your time. Your gift is you. You have something to share, something to explore, nurture and grow. Stand in front of that, never hide behind it. Protect it.

It's the benchmark against which all other things should be measured. We're all better at being ourselves than some impersonation of what we think the world wants us to be. I think the question comes down to, will you allow that greatness for yourself? Will you be courageous enough to keep the spotlight on what matters most? Will you maintain the awareness that when you're walking down a path that doesn't align with who you want to be, you can self-correct. Turn around.

Put emphasis on that part of you that lights you up. Because that will not only benefit you, but it will benefit everyone around you and ultimately benefit the world. Most often, our greatest source of pain comes not from the moment, what we suspect that moment will mean. It's not the situation, but in how we perceive the situation. And this is an idea or a concept that I connect

pretty directly with fitness or running, simply because that's where, to me, it's most apparent. It screams at me. So being that I run quite a bit, let's dive into that. Most days, I'm out for a jog or I'm running it strictly for endurance, you know, cardio base, chance to get out there, breathe, or reset thing. But then there are times when I say to myself, this run's going to be a little different. It's going to be dedicated to seeing what I'm made of.

I'm going all out, going to push. And what I find is I gradually increase my speed over the course of the eight-mile route is that my brain likes to focus on what's ahead. It becomes fixated on how much is to come, consistently warning me about the distance yet to be traveled and asking whether I have enough left in the tank to get there. It's most extreme in the last mile or so when my body is most exhausted,

when I'm pushing as hard as I possibly can. It's a straight shot. I'm looking up at the road. My eyes are constantly reminding my brain that I'm not yet done, that there's more. Creating an association between more road and more hurt. In a way, creating a little cycle of panic that sometimes appears and hangs out as I'm simultaneously talking myself out of slowing down. Now is not the time to pump the brakes.

I've come too far and the finish line is so close. but it eventually dawned on me that while the adversity contained in this last stretch of the run is difficult, it's the idea that more weights ahead. That's what hurts the most. It's not the body, but the internal voice that's creating the discomfort. In fact, I bet I could run for hours and hours and hours at the moment. this speed if it were a life or death situation. If I had to, it's not the task laid out before me.

It's my perception. And so this little line has helped me rethink and readjust my approach. Not just in situations like this or when doing interval training or working out, but when trying to do everything else associated with my life. Grow my business, build a brand, nurture relationships, push boundaries in any other aspect of what I do. Three words. Stay within yourself. It goes to the idea that your job is so incredibly simple

that it's almost insulted. Put one foot in front of the other. Sure, look up so you know where you're going. But you don't need to analyze or interpret or dissect. There's no gap between there and here, then, and now. There is only this moment. And so step. Again and again and again.

When the brain starts thinking about how, How much is left to go have betrayed the mantra. Nothing external is allowed. Stay within yourself. You have a job to do and you're capable, beyond capable of doing it. But the external must be kept out. The distraction must be kept at bay. And sometimes when you get it right, you hit this stride, this pace, this pace,

that is equivalent to flying, a rhythm that's unparalleled. Stay within yourself. Step by step by step, the air making its way into your lungs and then exhaled back out into the world when you simplify life down in such a way. Seemingly large things are exposed for what they really are, a mere commitment to do the little things

consistently. It's funny to look back on all the places I've run over the years and identify or match the geography with the lesson. The routes with the epiphanies, the maps forever entwined in my life, what they gave me and what it meant as I took it all forward into the world. And here we are again, new chapter, new lesson. Then after the shoes come off, the rest of the day commences this little stretch, this last mile, plays the role of mentor. Eddie, simplification is everything, it says. The hard thing is not that hard because it's not that big, it's not that complex. Your monsters are self-created.

Your hurt isn't a spotlight on the now. it's pointed at the road ahead. It's asking what if things go wrong? It's asking how long can this be sustained? It's asking whether I have the strength to endure this. Every question breathes life into an adversary that has no business existing in my world. They're not helping me get to any finish line.

In fact, they're that negative self-talk I try so hard to mitigate. Except here they are, very good at disguising themselves as reality, as just facts of the case, but they are not. They don't belong anywhere near me or around me. Breathe and step. In fact, I need to deconstruct the world around me down into one word now. And what you find when you remove the emotion,

The excess is the simplicity of the task at hand. Maybe not easy, but simple, and complexity is the enemy of progress. Right now may not be comfortable, but at least you're operating with clarity, and that is always enough to simply carry on, to move forward, to stay within yourself. And that's what this is all about. the question, where are you letting what's down the road get in the way of what you're doing now? Where are you letting the pain of what's not yet here,

the pain of roads not yet traveled, keep you from doing something that is 1,000% in your wheelhouse that you are capable of? See, in this example, it's to breathe and step. It's to, in a sense, turn the mind off, go into autopilot, find the pace and hold the pace. But the question is, what is your last mile? What metaphorical race are you running?

Have you identified, one, the finish line, and two, what needs to happen right now to get there? Forget about the gap right now. What is the simple solution? What is required of you in this moment? of you in this moment. And perhaps most importantly, what needs to be pushed out and mitigated. It's often true that we stagnate, not because we don't have the tools or ability,

but because we're oversaturated with the wrong things, the wrong routines, the wrong thoughts, the best way to break through that self-imposed wall. To actually build walls that will prevent complexity from even attempting to rear its ugly. head. What is your run, breathe cycle? So stay within yourself because when you do, you see how strong you are. Stay within yourself because you are the author of your story. Stay within yourself because all you need is now to push forward. Stay within yourself because you are the author of your story. Stay within yourself because Because that is where the power lives. Stay within yourself because the only way to lose is to let the external end.

Stay within yourself because at some point, that road will have been traveled down. The finish line will have been crossed. And it will have been precisely your ability to condense it all down into the simple, the ground under your feet that allowed you to get there. Life tried to pull you 1,000 different directions, tell you 1,000 different stories, but you pushed it all away, found that power within the moment,

and stayed within yourself.