Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - WATCH THIS EVERYDAY AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE - Motivational Speech

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

"Quit or be exceptional" - Seth Godin Monday Motivation Newsletter: https://www.eddiepinero.com/newsletter Free Ebook: www.eddiepinero.com/ebook  YouTube: www.eddiepinero.com/youtube  In this episode Eddie Pinero talks about discovering the power of seeking the exceptional over staying within the bounds of normality. Learn how quitting the wrong things can lead to a more fulfilling life, why saying no is crucial, and how pursuing what truly matters can help you leave mediocrity behind and chase down greatness.

Seth Godin wrote in his book, The Dip, quit or be exceptional, average is for losers. And I love this, and I love it for a few reasons. First, it calls out the fact that if we are going to live, we might as well live in pursuit of the exceptional. Why just float by? Why just stand there while time elapses around you? No, seek out the things that matter. exist not in life's shadows, but in its fringes, where few look but the best things live. The places where most only dream of but the courageous go, quit, or be exceptional.

Second, it suggests that quitting isn't always a bad thing, and context is everything here. It's a beautiful thing if it's done for the right reason. In other words, it's far better to quit the wrong thing to pursue what matters than it is to stay and immerse yourself in a lifelong dance with mediocrity. It's not that you quit. It's why you quit. I have a problem with the word quit to begin with. Stopping the wrong thing is less quitting than it is pivoting. It's evolving. But ultimately, that's neither here nor there.

It's semantics, right? The moral of the story is, if I never quit, personally, would I believe to be wrong for me? I'd still be in the same building I was 10 years ago. And I'm not being emotional here. I'm being practical. To become your best self, you have to shed yourself of the things that aren't you. There's an idea that what we say no to is one of the most important components of growth. So if you take that and create a little thought experiment,

if you have the courage to adventure and try new things, some of those new things will inevitably fall short of expectations. They'll be wrong for you. They can't all be aligned. And so what then? You do the wrong things forever? Or do you take the lesson and move on to those level 10 opportunities? That's what this is about.

Quit or be exceptional. Leave mediocrity behind. Do you have to? Well, you don't have to do anything, but the question is, what do you want? Because a world where you chase down the exceptional will be better for you. It will be better for those close to you. It will be better for the world at large. You will live a fuller life. And since you can never give more than what you are, it means the amount of value you can then distribute to others will grow. What we give is directly proportional to what we allow ourselves to be. So don't be mediocre. Don't allow that. Don't even entertain the thought. That's not you.

Quit or be exceptional. Go all in or don't go. Believe in it fully or walk away. Average is for losers. The fence is for people who forfeit the upside in an attempt to escape the downside. Completely unaware that the true loss is the moment of reflection. Years down the road where you wish you had the courage to do a little more, to chase down the things that invigorated you, to wish you'd lived a little more boldly with just a tad more conviction. Quit or be exceptional. Simply put, whether we realize it or not,

we have defied the odds in simply existing. And I don't care that this idea is pushed to the point of it being cliche. I still don't think we get it. I don't think we've grasped the magnitude. Perhaps a metaphor we could use to help us think about it, and still not indicative of our reality, but worth a shot, is walking into a theme park and spending the entire day standing by the entrance,

holding the ticket, right? Or being handed a lottery ticket and keeping it in your pocket. For fear of what could go wrong when you cash it out. Being there, but not experiencing there. See, chasing down the lottery. the exceptional feels good because it's what you were meant to do. And if you haven't found it yet, don't give up. Find what lights you up until you can capture it and immerse yourself in it. Be the best at it. Let curiosity lead you to exploration and findings that few would be tenacious enough

to discover, quit, or be exceptional. Or maybe better put, Don't stop pursuing that thing worthy of your commitment. And once you have that target, go. Like everything is riding on it, go. Like it's the sun around which all else revolves, go. Life is simply too short to leave your greatness on the shelf. Empowerment is knowing that you have control of your life.

that you create the expectations and you carry them out whether it be tomorrow in a month in a year or even longer it's knowing that the image in your head is the standard it's fact because when you leave the door open when you leave the door to your ambitions cracked even the smallest amount the realities of the present moment they find their way in and they create dissonance They want you to see, they want you to be intimidated by the gap between what you have and what you want. And truly the greatest gift I've ever given myself is to start every pursuit, knowing that whatever I'm chasing, whatever it is I want to obtain, it will be reality. It's possible.

Period. That's my starting point. All I have to do is connect the dots. No questions. Just steps. So there's a certainty that I possess as I move on to the next level. And as a creator, whether I'm creating for, you know, my YouTube channels, collaborations, clients, it doesn't really matter. There's a common theme. And it's that the world can't see the image you have in your head until you complete it, upload it, share it, email the final result.

You know what the outcome will be in a way that just can't be expressed. or articulated can only be shown upon completion and you must be the one to show it by the way. The reason that's so significant is because there's no difference between making a film or realizing a dream. Either way, there's no rewards, there's no applause, there's no assurances until you're done. Until you've crossed the finish line. Just like a client can only point to things they've seen as a wrap. reference point, well the people around you, they only know the present moment. They only know how things are.

And so it's borderline crazy to put those opinions on a pedestal, right, to absorb that criticism, to adhere to those rules. They navigate around the now, the present, not the future, not where you're going. Who cares about the now? You'll just be looking back at it as you may. your way on to your next goal see all this circles back to those dots that need to be connected because the places you're going the things you're becoming they require three things the understanding that all problems have solutions the certainty that you will

find them and the persistence to power through that's all that's the mentality that will put you in a position to do anything you want it will empower you it's not that the people around you are or that the world wants you to fail, it's just that placing your fate in their hands is meaningless. To discount your dream based on how things are, or the opinion of someone else is like a pilot worrying about airspace he's already flown through. Or asking the random dude in seat 22B to fly the plane, right? They are passengers on the journey, a journey that is worth the climb, that will be rewarding,

that is waiting, but you have to be the one to see. And you have to see it before the world does. You have to believe it before anyone else will. Because you'll build brick by brick on a foundation that the rest of the world would simply walk right by. Why? Because right now it's not a skyscraper with a beautiful architecture, 50 floors and an incredible view. Right now it's an ordinary plot of land that no one would think twice about. So remember, yes. Yes, it's possible. Yes, there is a way. And when we focus on the vision and connecting the dot in front of you, the world opens up. Be your own biggest fan. Learn to cherish the sound of your own applause because that is always what must come first. Reality is the existence of two entities. Those who create change.

and those who merely react to it. And so I've wondered what separates the one from the many, what differentiates a fleeting moment from a chapter and a history book. See, I think we all come to a point where we look up and we see no top to the wall we seek to climb. We look down and see the water rising at our feet with every breath.

breath. We look to our left and see those who are where we want to be tomorrow. And we look to our right and see the trail of decisions we love to take back from yesterday. This is where most create their limiting narrative, where most succumb to the world around them, but most is not all. And every soul eventually comes to find that it was shaped not by sunny days or easy roads, but by walking. walking to the edge of the only world it's ever known and daring to risk the normalcy to which it's accustomed. Because our appearance in the light is the manifestation of what we do in the shadows when we're alone fighting the little battles. Greatness isn't just a different level of results. It's a whole new set of rules.

In the monumental task in front of you is the culmination of a battle It's already been fought thousands and thousands of times. It's been won or lost over and over again. Every time you decide to stand apart instead of follow the crowd, decide to flourish instead of just survive, decide to lead instead of follow, build instead of conform, when you endure,

it's because you've decided that you are different, not in that moment, but every single day leading up to the, that point. This is not a reinvention. It's living out who you already chose to be. So the wall is high. You will climb because it's what you do. So the water rises. You will swim because it's who you are. So the people to your left have succeeded. There is always room at the top and you will claim yours. So you failed in the past. Good. Because falling then means you endure now and so you There's a quote attributed Heraclitus on the realities of soldiers in battle. He says, look, out of every 100 men, 10 shouldn't even be there. 80 are just targets. Nine are the real fighters and we are lucky to have them for they make the battle but the

one. One is the warrior. And he will bring the others. A word we throw around all the time is difficult. How difficult will the journey be? How hard is it going to be to succeed? This is more or less asking, is a desirable outcome likely? We're asking if it's worth our time.

If something's difficult, we associate that with the low probability of success. But that's not the right way of looking at it. If you want something enough, difficult becomes your best friend. It's your greatest asset. And this is, one, because of the growth that comes with it, but two, because very few people are willing to chase it down. The reality is, most people are average. And that's just looking at the definition of the word. Right?

If everyone was great, greatness wouldn't mean anything. There's something special about it. It's unique. It sets people apart. We generally live amongst people, places, and expectations that make up everything we know. That's our normal. That's our box. But what's particularly interesting

is that the people we celebrate, the accomplishments we admire, they go far beyond this sort of confined view of the world. So where is the line? Something's weird, it's abnormal, it's looked down upon until suddenly it's not. You snap your finger and it's cherished.

That guitar player practicing 15 hours a day, It's lame. They don't have a real job. They're not contributing anything to society and then here she puts out an album that revolutionizes music and they're a hero The whole thought process is counterintuitive and that's why the words difficult and great are so closely related Not because it's physically stressful, but because great comes with a hefty mental price tag Difficult means you are consistently doing what the average normal and unspectacular deemed to be too great a sacrifice. They're not asking if it can be done. They're not asking if it's possible.

What they are really asking, what they want to know is if they have to break through everyday normality to achieve a result. Do we have to make ourselves uncomfortable? Do we have to give more than we normally would? Do we have to be better than we were yesterday? If that answer is yes,

the vast majority say thank you, but no thank you. And that's where defining opportunities open up. Great means you had the desire to set yourself apart. Difficult means you had the dedication and the drive to do the little things no one else wanted to do. There is nothing miraculous about greatness. It is not divine.

It is not incredible. It's simply seeing the word difficult as a staircase instead of a brick wall. It means you get the opportunity to both give more of yourself and get more from the world. It is your secret door, your passageway. If the incremental progress, the growth and the sacrifice are worth the prize, easy, difficult, and everything in between fades away. The only thing worth the second of your time is making sure that the

is making sure that every step you take point you in the direction of where you want to be most. How do you visualize the road you're on? With its twists and turns, smooth terrain, rough terrain, straightaways, hills, what is it all mean? Do you find it odd that it gets more challenging as you get closer to your destination? Right? The further along you get, the more tension life puts between you and the finish line. Almost like the universe is adamant about weeding out those who think they can skate by. What is the difference between saying you want it and really wanting it? Perhaps it's a willingness to fight through a storm just for the opportunity to find calm and serenity in its center.

This morning, as the sun was coming up, I went for a run. A nice five-mile run down the coast, and the way I plans it out was simple. 2.5 or halfway up in soft sand, and then I'd stop, and I'd turn around, and I'd run 2.5 back, but on the harder surface, right? Easier to handle, almost like a reward for pushing myself on the way up. And things were going perfectly. I made the 2.5 mile run up. And when it came to stop and turn around, I realized what should have been obvious from the beginning was high tide.

Which means I didn't get that hard surface to run back on instead. Not only was it softer than the way up, but I was running on a slope. And that just threw my mind for a loop, right? I'm embarrassed to admit I was actually angry about it. You know, I pushed myself hard going up and wanted that breather. Almost felt like life pushed the finish line back 2.5 miles. And trust me, as I'm writing this, it seems ridiculous to talk about. But in the moment, just irrationally annoyed.

That was the carrot that had been chasing the whole time. So I begrudgingly, you know, moved forward, kind of trying to figure out what to do. And ultimately just continued forward. And, you know, the emotion subsided. And as usually happens, you pull yourself out of the weeds a little bit. the big picture tells a different story. Different story means different perspective. And that's what I came across, right?

This idea or this question, well, why do we expect life to be flat ground? Why was that my assumption to begin with? The easy to navigate path. Why is that the standard? And the more I thought about it, right? The more I wondered if that's the very reason why we understand. why we underperform. It's the little spark that ultimately lights this wildfire of regret.

Because when convenience is the standard, everything else becomes unfair. Everything else is a burden. When the road should be flat, what are we to make of the hills in our path? Thinking life should be easy. It provides oxygen to a victim mentality. And sometimes it takes these little experiences

for me to refocus on these subtle realities. The flat ground is not the standard. It is earned. It's a gift. It should be cherished and appreciated because guess what? Life wasn't easy. It isn't easy and it never will be.

But I believe the differentiator is knowing that. So I kept running on the slope, feet sinking into the sand. I got my teeth kicked in just a little bit longer and life didn't end. In fact, I think the mental aspect was tougher than the physical. We're only talking five miles here. But when the standard changes, so does the performance.

It's about just moving forward. And like poetry, with about three quarters of a mile left, right? The beach widened. It leveled out. The ground became harder. Each step became easier. And yeah, I was running. But in my head, it felt like I was lying on a bed of feathers.

Because when you prepare to face life's demons, when you're ready for battle, when you anticipate you'll have to give everything. Any adversary that falls short of that feels like wind behind your back. We can endure anything. The question is whether or not we put ourselves in position to. Mistakes, they don't define us. Heartbreak, it doesn't kill us. And criticism, it doesn't shape us. But I'll tell you what.

The fear that they do stops a lot of people from becoming who they're capable of becoming. Panicking at the slightest sign of discomfort, moving away from anything but the convenience, when in reality, inconveniences are the people. Have. As Ryan Holliday famously put it, the obstacle is the way. See, satisfaction, it doesn't even exist without a will to overcome. What meaning does a finish line have without miles of self-doubt and questions and fear and dragons being slayed while you prove to yourself over and over again that you know

what I am more? And I can be more. And the crazy thing is that there's not even a stopping point here. This rocket will propel as high into the ether as you choose to take it. And look, it's not about running on slight inclines or sinking a few inches into the sand. It's not about being rejected, losing or castigated by seven billion self-interested souls. No. It's about not being scared to take the bridge that connects current to future.

Complacency to recreation. The known to the seemingly impossible. You're made of so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are so much stronger than you think you are. So for yourself and for the world, capture that. Own it and redefine what it means not to simply exist, but to your core with every ounce of your being, your soul, every fiber in your body to truly live. As long as I've been alive, there's existed a battle between what I want in the moment and what I need. And it transforms, it takes different shapes, but its impact is always felt.

And so the question remains in spite of the option to concede the temporary way out. Are we willing to endure the now for a beautiful forever? Commit to that delayed gratification? Hold off just a little longer, do a little more. See, every time I hold the line, every time I refuse to give in, The victory tends to be just a little sweeter. So what is this force keeping us from greatness, this invisible, unquantifiable adversary, telling us to stop, to submit, to just accept things as they are?

Well, as Stephen Pressfield states in his book, The War of Art, this is resistance. The ego in disguise, it's the desire to stay the same, pushing us away from the very act. necessary to obtain what we truly want, not in the moment but in our souls. Our true reason for being, after all progress is happiness. So we follow this train of thought. The next logical question must be, well, can we control this enemy? This resistance? As it turns out, not only is the answer, yes, but one's ability to do just that makes all the difference.

makes all the difference. We can harness that demon that lobbies so hard for the status quo. We can learn to laugh every time it throws a fit when we attempt to change ourselves, our situation, our environment. It can be told no. Fact, Pressfield states that people who live free lives have learned to master themselves. People that can't master themselves will find someone else to rule over them. whether it be excuses, critics, or other outside constraint.

See, the key, the answer couldn't be simpler. It's not easy, but it's simple. Show up. And as a writer, I really resonated with this, this line. The hardest part isn't writing. It's sitting down to write. It's arriving. And now life can flow through you.

You're able to be that messenger that carries the divine so that it can be shared with the world distributed to the masses. But you must first say no to that voice proclaiming that it's not important. That it doesn't matter. You must tear down the idea that you're not good enough. Walk up and sit in that metaphorical seat, whatever it is for you. speaking, writing, painting, analyzing, constructing, devising, but you must sit down and begin. That is the essence of the war of art. The war that is you versus you, that resistance, claiming that your next move is too little to matter, that the same is the best. But you have to

see beyond what's in front of you. It's why the author is so adamant about not giving in saying if you cave in today, you're twice as likely to cave in tomorrow. It's like talking to a telemarketer. You cave, you give an inch, and it's over. See those little decisions, the ones we're so inclined to overlook, the ones we say, we'll come back tomorrow, they're insignificant. That's essentially making a hole right through the center of a dam. Eventually, the entire thing is coming down. But the good news, Those same little decisions are within your grasp. You can own them, master them, and ultimately master yourself.

Start by simply showing up when you don't want to because this is war. And this war, the one fought every day, is what will ultimately hand you the keys to the kingdom. I'll never forget listening to Jim Rohn was taking a walk in the middle of the day. I needed to get out, decompress, rethink, realign. And this message came through my headphones. He said, we must all suffer from one of two pains, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. And I needed that.

I needed that because sometimes we forget why. In the midst of the day-to-day, the trials and tribulations of life, we forget why we endure. And there's a strange dichotomy that exists because you know you can't measure discomfort that hasn't arrived yet. You can identify regret that hasn't materialized. Yet in a way you have to. You have to somehow make that tangible. You have to know that sacrifices of today deliver you from the anguish of I wish, or if only,

or maybe I could have. I've heard it said that humans' ability to delay gratification is what makes us so unique, incredible even. But that doesn't mean it comes easy. So as I walked, I became reacquainted with the trust that I had in myself in the future, in the steps I was taking. It wasn't that I'd reached some grand finale, but that I gave myself permission to stop constantly expecting one.

Worrying when things didn't go as planned, feeling disgusted with myself when I fell short. This is, after all, part of a process. And if one stays the course, builds a foundation of discipline to guide them towards what they believe in, things will evolve. We feel uncertain because new things don't have a precedent, at least not a personal one. And that feeling of, I wish I knew or had some predictability, it's real, it's common. But if minimizing regret is what means the most, then it also means that we must have the discipline to walk steadfast into the unpredictability of tomorrow.

A long-term sustained discipline. And one of my favorite interviews, Brani Ware, who wrote the top five regrets of the dying, was talking about surrender and how she mentioned in her book, Letting Go. And I asked her, can you explain that? What's the angle? Because the way I look at life, there's always something you can do. You can always improve your situation somehow. And she basically said, it's not about what you can control, what you can do.

It's about putting yourself in position to live the life you want to live and then letting go of that which you cannot control. It's about not worrying over external forces as you walk your path because all you can do in life is walk your path. And that became the marker or the question, am I walking my path? Right? Now look at it like this. First, a vision gives you direction, purpose, keeps you excited, injects meaning into life. Second, discipline keeps you moving. Becomes the tiny steps that transport you through your pursuit of meaning. And third, trust in the process.

That you are here to give everything you have to give, and then the rest, as Brunny says, must be surrendered. But the reason I bring this up is because all of it fits together like a puzzle, like three pillars of a Parthenon. Now when people reach out to me all the time, they're upset that they're not as disciplined as they'd like to be. And they're listening to the speeches, they're watching the videos, they're absorbing the content, trying to improve.

But nothing seems to get the engine going. And I'm wondering, what is your North Star? What are you aiming for? Because as far as I'm concerned, it's impossible to be disciplined if you don't have a reason. You know, when Jim Rhone states that the pain is in ounces now, well, there's an implicit compared to what being asked, right? Compared to that top of the mountain that you'd presumably miss out on. So if the mountaintop's not defined, you're on a full.

errand. That's why I had so much trouble with my old career, for example. It's hard to be disciplined. There's no buy-in on the purpose. Using my previous metaphor, it's little steps, sure, but towards what? If you don't know, it's only practical then to look around and ask yourself, why am I taking them? Why not go drink with my friends? Why not stream this series on Netflix until 4 a.m. Why not skip the workout? You can listen to people on YouTube scream at you to do more and be more and try harder all day, but without that piece, it will not get you very far. A vision, the discipline to pursue it, and a trust in the process. And you could say the same with someone who might have a clear vision, a dream, a perfect idea

of what they want, but never take action, right? The discipline. never materializes. It makes the endeavor just as meaningless. Things don't change until you take that big picture, that vision, and you break it down into little things you can do every day. That's it. And isn't that amazing?

The greatest, most influential people, from the friends and family that inspire us, to the greatest athletes and entertainers, to our greatest thinkers, creators, world leaders, all they do is a handful of things consistently every day in the direction of something that is meaningful to them. A process that has been talked about since the beginning of time. The compound effect, as Darren Hardy calls it. That breakthrough was huge for me. The realization that I don't need to leap any mountain.

I just need to ascend one tiny rock at a time. And that is not a superhuman ability. That is a single decision. So here the question isn't, can you be more disciplined? Of course you can. The question is, which few things are most meaningful to you? Which will you be focusing on every day so that they expand and inject value into you?

in the world. And then, lastly, there is trust, sometimes the most difficult, seeing the unseen, maintaining confidence in that which is unknown. An incredibly challenging expectation in an instantaneous world, a world where things are immediate, feedback is immediate. Messages are sent across the planet instantaneously. goods and services arrive within hours. We have forgotten patience because it is disintegrating before our very eyes.

We are a society of now, but the best things in life, they take time. They require that we hold up our end of the bargain and that we trust life will fall into place. belief in a process that will come to mean more than anything that arrives in 30 seconds ever could. A vision, the discipline to pursue it, and a trust in the process. So perhaps you're overdue for your midday walk, your little excursion into the soul, to ask yourself, what is it you are moving towards? Why are you doing what you're doing?

Does it mean something? And if not, perhaps some adjustment is in order. Perhaps you've lost sight of that North Star that lights up our lives and illuminates the way. Take solace in the fact that life is not as serious as we make it out to be. We don't live in a world of right and wrong, good and bad, yes and no, but a continuum. an opportunity to seek out and find the beautiful ups and the meaningful downs to set our sights on the horizons that matter. See, when the little things feel too complex or burdensome, it's because the big things are

misaligned, and that is a powerful idea to grasp. It's never that life is too difficult. It's that we have closed our eyes. So don't be fooled by those selling you reality as some problem, some obligation that must be dealt with. No, today is the greatest gift of your lifetime. And the same will be true every day moving forward. And to echo Jim Rohn, absolutely it is a gift.

comprised of sacrifice, discomfort along the way, but that's a small price to pay for entry to the show, for the ability to embrace the mystery and embark upon the adventure when you're pointed to the right North Star, while the road, it feels less treacherous on your feet, the hills less strenuous on your legs, What we often deem to be a lack of preparedness, ability, strength, well, might just be a lack of alignment.

So adjust. Because this world, flexible and limitless, invites you to do just that. It invites you to explore until you've uncovered your vision. To pursue it like nothing else matters. To sidestep the obstacles, invert the setbacks, and lastly to find hope when there appears to be none. To set your sails, walk your path, run your race and surrender to that which is beyond your control. And you'll find that with a vision, with discipline, with trust in the process, there is no situation or circumstance out. Upside the scope of what's possible.

Standing at the edge of the pond, looking down at my reflection, I asked the man looking back at me if he was willing to make a deal. What kind? he asked, seemingly intrigued. Well, I need you to be there. See, I have big plans and big aspirations, and sometimes things get really hard. Sometimes I feel lost and confused and overwhelmed, and I need you to be there. I need to know you'll always be there." I see, he said, eyes shifting up towards the sky as he thought through my request.

This is doable, but I'll need something of you in return. Of course, I responded. Anything. Okay. You replied, do I have your word that when you fall, that when you don't succeed, you'll get up until you do? Yes, you have my word, I replied. Do I have your word, he asked, that when you're lost, when the world shakes beneath you, you will continue on until you find steady ground. Yes, you have my word.

your word that when you feel life's resistance like wind pressing against you with all its might you'll keep pushing into it not hoping it gets weaker but knowing you'll get stronger yes I said for a third time you have my word then I'll be there I'll be there every step of the way I'll be your biggest fan I'll have your back when you feel alone. I'll remind you how strong you are when you feel weak. I will point to the upside when you have a hard time seeing it. But you have to keep moving forward.

That's your end of the bargain. I'll open those doors for you. I'll be your light in darkness, but listen to me. It will all be in vain. all be in vain if your feet are not continuously in motion. It will all be for not if you don't, regardless of what life throws at you, commit to carrying on. So for the last time, look me in the eyes and promise me, promise me that you will not stop. Yes, you have my word, I said. then my friend, we have a deal, and I will be there for you.

Always. If you have the ability to love, love yourself first. Charles Bukowski. So last week I was in Utah, and while I was there, I did some guided breathwork, which had never done before. And honestly, it was a little skeptical at first. but I try and keep an open mind and gave it a shot. I'm happy I did. It ended up potentially being one of the most important things I've ever done.

And I want to share why, because this breakthrough or aha moment, if you will, was exactly what I needed when I needed to hear it. So this episode's going to be a little different than usual, but I feel compelled to pass it along. So to set the scene, I arrived with a friend of, mind to the instructor Jen's location. She gave us an overview, kind of explaining what the next hour is going to look like and handed me a notebook to write down my goal for this session. And the notebook becomes pretty important as the story goes on. But I opened it and I wrote

what I'd like to use the session to reflect on. It happened to be the walls that I have a tendency to build around myself. Right. That day, that felt like the most pertinent obstacle. of my life. I saw it as an opportunity to push back against that reality that human beings love to create normal and then latch onto it. And that's not ideal because when we do that, we stop looking for places to grow. We stop pushing. We stop seeking to live life to the fullest. In other words, we settle. And so I wrote that down. I closed a notebook, laid back on this incredible fuzzy blanket and the music got turned on. We began the breathing pattern in, in, out, in, in out. Jen started guiding us, verbally taking us back to a conversation with our younger

selves. The journey had begun. And this is the part where things get really interesting because my thoughts really did feel like some strange mix of dreaming and hallucinating, just from breathwork. But at some point, she referenced the need to let go and said the words, you know, we weren't meant to suffer or hold on to suffering. And that really cut deep because I know there are so many places where I've rationalized, continuous. suffering in my life. I'd speculate that in some way we all do. When the hard thing or the uncomfortable thing, you know, when they stop being stepping stones and instead just become the way things are, becomes a concession.

Hey, this doesn't feel good, but it's my life. This person holds me down, but it's how things are. I don't like doing this every day. it eats at me, but hey, life, am I right? That's learned helplessness. It hides in the corners and the nooks and crannies of life, subtle enough that we don't give it much thought. And I imagined very vividly climbing down a ladder

placed on the edge of this dark canyon that went straight down. Down, down, down. Everything. entire landscape was black and white. There was zero color, except for the rays of light barely visible at the bottom. All the way down as I descended into the canyon. The colors, they'd get a little stronger, a little brighter, as if every step put a little more vibrance into my life. Each moved down made things a little clear, the latter becoming quicker and quicker, eventually turning into a slide that brought me down to the base of the canyon, where upon landing and standing

up, everything was illuminated. Fields of sunflowers, waterfalls, birds chirping, the sunshining, and it was there in that moment I realized my intention for the class. The one I wrote down in that little notebook, well, it missed the mark. Not in the sense of being. incorrect or wrong necessarily, but it simply wasn't enough. See, at the root of it all, or at the bottom of that canyon existed life with the courage to love yourself. Not just accept yourself, not just be okay with your existence, but love yourself. With all your faults and your struggle, With all your mistakes and your history became clear to me how much changes when you love with all your heart the person staring back at you in the mirror. The opinions of others, they do not guide your decision making. How could they?

How could others know you better than you? In fact, those opinions are part of the black and white. white landscape to be left behind at the top of the mountain. The consistent suffering you've become accustomed to, the learned helplessness you endure, that's not acceptable to someone who truly loves him or herself. Loving yourself means pushing away that which is not you. It's finding that ladder down to the beautiful, world of authenticity and truth, the magic of being aligned with what really matters.

And what's funny is, I can talk about breaking down barriers. They should be broken down. I can talk about stepping into fear because it should be confronted. I can talk about finding a way out when we're stuck in a way up when we're We are down. I can talk about all of that every day of my life. But none of it matters if you don't learn to fully love the reflection in the mirror more, more than you ever thought you could.

Think about the gift you could give to that younger version of yourself. Think about what you could give to those close to you, your family, your friends. think about what you could do for the world if you left those black and white concessions behind you and lived a life true to yourself. It is of course not always easy, but I learned that day that it is the North Star. It's what we build upon. So before we ask how to shape the world around us, maybe we should be asking how do we embrace the one within us? Maybe we should learn to love ourselves so deeply

that those walls don't need to be broken down. Because in time, we'll learn not to build them up in the first place. We'll learn that in a world of black and white, it is acceptance and trust and confidence and love that gives us. It's color. There's something I want to address for a few reasons. One, because every day I'm asked questions that pertain directly to this.

Two, because it will change how you think about your future. And it's that effort and talent always find a way, period. There are no exceptions to this rule. And the funny thing is, the people who are worried that haven't found their path, they don't know where to focus their skill set, terrified about the future. If that's you, you're doing the way. work, right? You're thinking about the right things you've made your life a priority. It's the dude on the couch eating chips for 12 hours that needs to be concerned. And I would guess that he's probably

not. And so here's the golden ticket, right? It's that idea of repurposing your anxiety or any uncertainty you have into a sense of exploration because it's a good thing. Caring is step one. Having drive is step one. And you are there. You have. You have. the pieces just like a Ferrari and park. Yeah, it's not moving, but is there anything to be concerned about? I think it's on the freeway. Of course it's gonna fly. Maybe it doesn't know which freeway, but who cares? That's the fun part. It has everything it needs. Sometimes it's not about where you're going. Sometimes it's about what you have, who you are, what you value. Odds are if you have the drive to improve yourself, you're going to improve.

So relax because the truth is life is not as serious as we make it out to be. It just isn't. You could pack your shit. You could go live on an island for five years, come back and reaclimate and things would be the same here. Once you see that, that you are the initiator of success, not the class you choose, the person you date, the job you take. You are the Ferrari, the million dollar man.

It all comes back to belief and trust. Maybe it's door A, maybe it's B, maybe it's C. But at the end of the day, whatever one you decide to kick down will be yours to conquer. And you can forget a lot of things in life, but you can't forget that. As Tolkien said, all who wander are not lost. Winners find ways to win. That's what they do. So you might as well trust and enjoy the process.