Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - "What we THINK, We BECOME" | Best Motivational Speeches 2022

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

What consumes your mind controls your life...

I'm going to share something that over the years I've come to know to be true. And that's that generally the answers that we look for tend to fall between the extremes. So, for example, you have two people. One person is adamant that option A is right. It's a no-brainer. That'll take you to the promised land. Then on the other side, the other person's saying, no, it's option B, and it's not even close. Option B is the way to go. And well, generally speaking, The answer we're looking for falls somewhere right in the middle. That's where the winning formula lives.

Not always, but most of the time. The other stuff, the detail, the A's, B's and C's, the stuff that gets the flash that we spend most of our time talking about, it's unnecessary noise and nuance. To win is to trust your instinct. It's being comfortable with your authenticity as the foundation. And then once you have that, you can choose to sprinkle the other stuff on top as flavoring.

But I want to talk about this idea because I've fallen into the trap, and I think others do too, of looking for answers in the wrong places, of trying so hard to replicate success to meet other people's guidelines. We're so busy asking what the other people want to hear, that we're not asking ourselves, hey, what do I want to say? And in the process, we lose what's most validating. We end up rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Imagine if Malcolm Gladwell only wrote about what was trending on Twitter,

or what was popular. It's like, no, he writes about what he's interested in. That's why he's so fun to read. His curiosity and passion always comes through. Or if J.K. Rowling spent her time researching, what works, what sells books, what do I need to buy, what's been done before me, before she created Harry Potter. We probably wouldn't have it.

have it. Her brilliant imagination wouldn't have been shared with the world because, let's be real, wizards and boarding school weren't exactly on everyone's radar. There was no roadmap to that. Or I think of Jordan Peterson's lectures. Imagine if he crafted his message around YouTube or Instagram algorithms. He would lose all its power and meaning. He's authentic. He's raw. He's real. That's why we watch him. But the reality is, every day, we're told in Taylor Made, strategically located advertisements that, hey, John Smith achieved success, happiness, and fame with this product or this service, and without that, you can't get what you want. Or we turn on our phones, we go on social media, and it's hearts and likes and double taps,

and we're not saying what we want to say. We're reverse engineering how to get that validation. For those with brands or those in the marketing space, I mean, you know it's always about trying to understand this mysterious algorithm where your posts will be buried. What we're being asked to do overall every day is manipulate ourselves to meet the demands of the platform or of the external criteria. I'm not saying it's morally wrong. There's no atrocity being committed. Part of life is adapting.

But what I am suggesting is there's a danger that we're not aware of. Amidst all this chaos and confusion and manipulation, we tend to lose ourselves. And when we lose ourselves, it doesn't happen. all at once. It's gradual. It happens little by little one concession at a time. We don't snap our fingers and disappear. We slowly slip away, not by what we do, by what we don't do, in order to fit in.

Do you know how everything in our solar system orbits around the sun? Well, what if you thought of that sun is who you are, right? When you're with your friends or family, when you're writing, saying, thinking what matters to you. Without social media, without brain, and marketing and societal pressure, just simply who you are. That should always be the nucleus of your world. Your North Star. That should be the measuring stick to whether you're on the right track,

not the externalities that ask you to change your key so that it fits their lock. What have you re-engineered the way we look at things? What if we built a world where people expand upon who they are and what they care about? where we have the courage to say no to the latest trend or item or advice because it's just not who you are. What if you were that confident? And then if we think some of those externalities will help us, then sure, sprinkle them on top. But they rotate around you. You don't rotate around them.

That's the difference. To be content, you have to be the center of your own universe. Living by your guidelines. So instead of looking around and trying to decide your strengths, you know, based on what will be accepted or promoted or what's been done before, do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath, step back and just simplify. You know what matters. And that's enough. You don't need the world to tell you that.

So while the masses fight over solution A or solution B, maybe you'll understand that both of those solutions solve the wrong problem. And while the masses argue, you know, which car goes zero to 60 the fastest scream about the features, debate which brand is the most reputable, hey, you'll at least know why you're driving, which is more than most of the world can say. You'll know where your car is headed before you upgrade to that sunroof and those top-of-the-line speakers. Eight lessons to live by. Number one, remind yourself to see those things we've taught ourselves not to see. The things that don't directly correlate to money or status or ascension up some social hierarchy, underneath those things are what keeps us alive.

Keep our souls lit, our eyes open, our days meaningful. We don't think we need music to invigorate the soul. We don't think we need wind on our face or sand on our feet. We don't think we need to shut the world off so we can hear ourselves thinking. Now, we fall into the trap of believing that beautiful is a luxury. It's not. It's why we're here. And it's not about being anti-money or status or whatever your goals are.

But it is about realizing. That those things without beauty and art and nature and calm are empty. There are a plane without wings, lungs without air. The things we have taught ourselves not to see are the things we need above all else. Number two, you are stronger than you think you are. You are made to endure. To pave a path. Find a way.

rise to the occasion. And we know this when it's easy, but we forget when it's not. When the world feels stacked against us. When you're writing things, no one reads, saying things, no one hears, making things no one sees. When you know you have somewhere to go but aren't sure where that is, no you need to evolve into something but have no idea what. This is when you need to know that you have everything you need. It's not about finding new pieces. It's about arranging the ones in your hand. Like smoke expands to fill any room, your potential can expand to conquer any obstacle you are stronger than you think you are. Number three, some things are beyond our control. But being ready for the opportunity when it comes our way is very much.

in our control. And maybe it takes a day, a month, a year longer. You can't control that. You can't control the path of that firefly, but when it lights up and comes your way, you can have the jar ready and the lid off. You can be well-read, well-prepared, rehearsed to the point of confidence,

reliance on repetition and not hope. No endeavor is a coin flip when you, you use a double-headed quarter. One of the most valuable questions I've learned to ask is when and where in my life can I create those magic coins. Number four, we are at our best when we are moving towards something. Inaction has an opportunity cost that is more expensive than anyone wants to pay. Places I haven't gone, risks I haven't taken.

They're the loss. The dragon has the gold for a reason, and to avoid the former is to forfeit the latter. If we are not growing, we are dying. So as Emerson suggested, find a star to hitch your wagon to. And even when the world forces detours upon you, inserts roadblocks or temporarily covers that star up altogether, remember that it's still there, shining as bright as it ever has, for you to reorient yourself. Remember who you are and carry on. Number five, when it's your fault, you are in control. I used to hide behind the notion that bad grades were because of a bad

teacher. That missing the promotion was because of the boss. That an inability to influence was because the world didn't understand. And to whatever degree these things may be true, we win when we dial them back to zero. If your bad grades are completely your fault, you'll better prepare. If your lack of promotion falls entirely on your shoulders, you'll find ways to add more value. If your inability to influence

is because you're missing the mark. You'll stop projecting yourself onto the world and start asking the world how you can serve. Before it can become an opportunity, it has to first become your responsibility. To grow, we have to plant roots where it hurts, where the eagle lives, where we have to first be humbled, then we can accelerate vertically. Number six, if it means something to you, there is value.

It's not stupid. Just because they don't get it doesn't mean that they shouldn't. Just because it's not happening today doesn't mean it won't be tomorrow. Life is a lot like six-year-olds playing soccer. Everyone chases the ball because that's what we're told. That's where the attention is. That's what's flashy. But as an outside midfielder most of my life,

I know that some of the most potent attack sequences manifest on the outside of the field and then are re-centered. To run up the sideline with the side line with the same thing, the ball is to see what happens before it happens. The magic is created in the empty space before it translates to the high traffic, high reward areas. And just because you're metaphorically running without the ball doesn't mean you're not in prime position

to have monumental impact. You're not reacting. You are creating. Don't forget that. Number seven, nothing is mandatory. Everything we do, we choose, where we are, who we're with, how we spend our time. And it's easy to look around and think we are programmed to exist between specific parameters. We're not. And often we don't see until life forces a change upon us how much flexibility we have in life.

Now, sure, change obviously brings with it as challenges. New questions, uncertainties, new places to map and people to meet that is Mark Manson's says there is no problem-free life. No, the beauty of life is that we get to choose which problems we will spend our time solving. Problems to solve are what make life meaningful. So if you're looking around and not seeing what you want to see, you're not stuck. You're simply solving the wrong problems. Perhaps it's time to find some new ones.

In number eight, tomorrow is not your answer. It's your problem. Tomorrow is your excuse to wait. To hold off, to rationalize stagnation. Tomorrow is the status quo. It's a fresh new coat of paint on a car that won't run. We're a new roof on a house with a cracked foundation. Tomorrow can only tell the story that has acted out today.

That means without stepping into the limelight right now, in the immediate, in the present, there will be no story. If stories aren't made tomorrow, they're made now. So let's stop expecting the messenger to be the author. And let's take fate into our own hands, write our own headlines during the only moment we'll ever have. The present one. So let the rest of the world dance around tomorrow. That's not where your mind should be. You should be working on the melody of today.

So life is the sum of the decisions we make. But which decisions? How am I supposed to know? Well, maybe a list will help. Some pros and some cons list one. Finding the courage to do something new, okay? Cons, it could be a waste of time. Could embarrass myself, could lose money, could get criticized.

Pros could be life-changing. Finding the courage to go somewhere new. Okay, cons might not like where I go. Might not know how to get there. Might regret going. Pros could end up being the best decision I've ever made. Finding the courage to change myself, okay, cons might not like who I become.

Might try, fail, and feel worse than I did to begin with as possible. Pros, well, I might become exactly who I need to be. So looking at this, it essentially comes down to conserving the old or making the new. Maintaining or capturing the upside. But it doesn't quite delineate my problem. Okay, so different angle list two. Finding the courage to do something new.

If I fail, is it reversible? Yes. I can fail. And if I do, I'll simply go back. I'll simply go back to doing that which I had been doing. All right, finding the courage to go somewhere new. If I don't like the destination, is it reversible? Yes.

I can change my flights, grab a train, turn the car around, I decide where I go. Finding the courage to change myself. If I don't like the trajectory, is it reversible? Yes, if I don't like how I'm evolving, I can stop. I can start back at the beginning. Who you are is in your control. Okay, so after two lists, the pros have immense upside and the cons.

Well, they have relatively minor downside, and they are reversible. Meaning, if I try something I've always wanted to try, go somewhere, I've always wanted to go, become the person I've always wanted to be, things could fall apart. But the damage is more annoying than it is life-altering. It's not forever, it's fixable. On the other side, if I hit that home run, my life changes. My world evolves. What's possible expands. And it's not that I will, it's that I could.

And doesn't everything start with could? A seed of possibility? An idea that plants roots and when merged with courage in action take shape? Of course. But most importantly, this information in front of me tells me something pretty incredible. A story with few words and infinite meaning. The key that unlocks some of the most important doors to be opened. And it's this.

Most of our inaction, most of our regret, most of our almost come from cowering amidst possible outcomes that are reversible, running from potential consequences that we could wipe, clean like a dry erase board and try again. The downside, it pales in comparison to the upside. We're running from a slap on the wrist or the momentary anxiety associated with turning down the wrong street. Right. That's the takeaway here. That's where the magic lies. Not in the possibility that everything could work out, but the realization that if it doesn't, life moves right along. that contrary to the narrative so often making its home in the back of our minds, life has

redos. You can screw up. You can reverse track and start again. The only action you can't fix is the one you never take. And while I'm looking at this list and I just don't see any upside in that. Hold the vision, but trust the process. An idea that should act as our North Star. As we make our way through life, it proposes believing in a goal, but at the same time understanding that its manifestation will be unpredictable. Challenging, it may not unfold the way we thought it would. To me, though, the most challenging aspect of personal growth, of building the things that matter, creating realities we dream of.

It's the mandatory dance we must. must do with time. The patience that's woven into the equation, it's the empty spaces that we tend to use for manufacturing doubt and disbelief when life has given us nothing to react to. It's like we create monsters in our heads. And it's really an incredible thing when you think about it, right? I look back on the past decade of my life in the hardest parts and some were excruciating they were pain derived from what I knew I hadn't yet accomplished.

It was a feeling like I wasn't moving fast enough. Like the winners in life had that over there, and all I had was this over here. Completely nonsensical narrative, but one that certainly felt real. Discomfort from the delta or the gap between what I wanted and what I had, a feeling that would randomly dip in and out of my conscious mind,

as I sort of chipped away at my goals day in and day out. And I started to wonder, how can I better position myself to grow, to maintain that ambition, but also to do it with less anxiety, right? As I stated a few seconds ago, hold that vision, but perhaps improve my trust and relationship with the process. My ability to immerse myself in various pursuits without dwelling on the fact that I hadn't yet arrived.

Because look, I know this game. We all know this game. There's always going to be another finish line to cross. That's a great thing, but can also, when we're not looking at it correctly, be to our detriment. There are always higher numbers to achieve. incredible opportunity, but with the wrong perspective, dangerous. If you can't find a way to appreciate the now while you climb, you will be forever lost. There will always be a hole that's never filled.

I think we need to be better about supporting ourselves along this journey. No one can be there for me like I can, and I think that's true for everyone. We need to be our greatest allies. So I brought this question up, as I tend to do, with a few of my friends, right, with different perspectives. They look at the world a little differently and basically ask, you know, how can we get out of our own ways or a lane to both be tenacious in our pursuit of evolution to continue doing the things that excite and challenge us while also being a little easier on ourselves,

trusting that dance we do with time as the process unfold. And so I present this question to one of my friends sitting across me at the table and he thinks about it. He says, Eddie, well, that's what's got you where you are. That feeling like there's always more. It's the reason for the success you've had and the success you'll have in the future. It's what will push you. It's why you will succeed. People that accomplish things are never satisfied.

Jordan was never satisfied. He was never happy. And in that context, greatness and happiness and happiness. are not compatible. And, you know, I took it in. I certainly appreciated the perspective, right? In many ways, I think he's right. Sort of reminded me of the idea

behind Tim Grover's book, Relentless, that it's an obsession that must take place. It doesn't leave room for much else, right? Incredibly valuable to understand, if anything, just to see, just to grasp what it means to achieve in a world of obstacles. But truthfully, I wasn't,

entirely satisfied. How can we better visualize the process so that we're more powerful allies to ourselves? That's what I wanted to understand. And a short time later, I'm at the kitchen table, kind of going over some analytics for social media, like YouTube channel podcast, stuff like that. And my father, who happened to fly in from Boston, he's at the kitchen table with me, we're having some coffee. And I made a comment about their trajectory of the numbers. You know, I forget that particular week, maybe it was higher or lower than expected. I don't really remember, but he made this comment about the patience that I've had with the channel over the years. Just an offhand remark. You know, he said, the numbers are like the

SMP 500, right? The stock market. There are days when it drops. There are days when it rises. But over the long haul, it's steadily pointed up and it continues to point up. And I found that so interesting. You know, I harp on the small things a lot on this channel, the little breakthroughs that paved the way for larger transformation, ideas that change the way we look at things, which ultimately change the way we act, which change the results we get,

and this happened to be one of them. You know, it hit me just right. What is perhaps the most important piece in the famous book, The Intelligent Investor? What is the idea that made Buffett a billionaire? It's that you invest in things you believe in and you remove the emotion. You hold the dips. Right?

When the stock market takes a hit and everyone's panicking and acting emotionally and selling, you don't sell. You buy more. When the world emotionally rushes out, you rush in. And when the world emotionally rushes in, you step out. Well, in life, there will be days when your metaphorical stock drops, at least you feel like it does. Those YouTube numbers, perhaps numbers in the old bank account, maybe fitness goals fall flat, maybe you're just not seeing a return on investment.

But we are never defined by the events of the day. Even the worst of days, they're merely a small part of a much larger pattern. And the truth is sometimes success is so small. You can't see it. Of course you're going to be anxious if you think every day should be comprised solely of mountain tops and finish lines, if you're always looking, comparing, contrasting. But sometimes success is 0.0001% better. Sometimes success looks like the S&P 500 taking a hit, dropping for a day, a week, or a month.

Sometimes growth doesn't look like what we want growth to look like. But just like intelligent investors, you are putting your money in the belief that at a certain point down the road, the value will be higher then than it is now. And this idea has been everything to me, particularly on the days when it feels like things are going backwards, over periods of time where I feel like I've been standing still, where the voice in my head is presenting all kinds of scenarios that I could have been better or done more, and maybe so. But these times are nothing more than data points. They are steps along the way. And knowing this, it essentially frees me from the delusion that growth is always visible, that I can always look around and see visible triumph. It allows me to march towards my goals and my dreams, having a renewed relationship with each step.

You know, there's a saying that we need to keep our head in the clouds and our feet on the ground. Life is a continual juggling of extremes, and I think this gets it right. Our strength is in the ability to take those steps. Each one a message to the universe that we are stronger than we were yesterday. But what makes our journeys truly divine is that they aren't comprised of or built with those steps like a house of cards, where one wrong move or some delay will cause the whole thing to fall to come crashing down. No, what makes the journey divine is the infinite number of paths that can bring about its materialization. There are no wrong paths. Some arrive sooner. Some arrive later. Some

mid-jurney causes to realize that the compass wasn't even pointed in the right destination, right? They change what it means to arrive. But the point is every step is required, every step is a miracle, but the power is not contained solely in one step. But rather, what we choose to make of all the steps combined, the dips, the lows, and the losses only have significance if we give them significance. Otherwise, there are just a few stops along the way to something beautiful.

So why exhaust energy on data points that haven't arrived yet, on destinations in the future? Destinations that we trust ourselves to figure out anyway. Our emphasis should be on the present moment, on gratitude for the fact that we get to wake up and choose the pursuits that we've chosen. In some days, those pursuits will feel like the miracles that they are. We'll see the finish lines, the mountaintops. mountaintops will feel triumphant and some days those victories will be hidden in plain view but they are there nonetheless as we make our way into the great unknown that is life piecing each second each minute each hour together to become the path leading us where we need to be most