Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - WHEN LIFE BREAKS YOU | Powerful Motivational Speeches | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

"Life had to break you down so that you could be rebuilt better" - Robin Sharma

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There are biological elements, there are emotions that we as humans simply cannot escape. But what we have control over is how we act, right? What we do amidst the feelings of sadness or anger or despair. Well, as it happens, fate brought me face to face with that lesson once again. And one of the most interesting aspects of life is that the lessons often have to be re-learned, right? As the context around us changes, we are forced to draw from that well to take what we knew and transform. form it and level up. And so, quick story.

Two weeks ago, ish, my Facebook account was hacked, which happens to a lot of people. It's not uncommon, and to be honest, I'd never really thought much about it. But I'm sitting there, and I start getting these emails coming in, telling me my phone number's changed, my email address is changed, my username's changed, all this stuff is changing. I'm like,

what's going on? And before I could anything, I go to look and realize I'm locked out of the account, right? Then I go from my personal page to my business page where I share thoughts like these, these episodes, videos, writings, and basically, you know, stuff I've been working on for years and realize I'm locked out of there as well. So whoever has the account is now operating it and for whatever reason posting like spammy images and videos, replying to people pretending to be me. And there's just nothing I could do, right?

I'm just locked out watching this happen. And when I say I felt angry, it's probably an understatement. I was surprised at how furious I was. It was a rage that I wouldn't have anticipated in a million years. I could not help it. And, you know, maybe it was vulnerability, right? That feeling of helplessness, that some stranger had access to, you know, around 100,000 people that trust me.

They had no idea what was happening, right? Or maybe it was anger at whoever it was doing this. Anger at Facebook for being non-responsive. Maybe a fear that, look, you can work so hard for so long and have something taken away incredibly quickly. Whatever it was, I was distraught for like three hours. And eventually I calmed down. a little bit. And I remember just sitting there being so disappointed in my reaction. I hated

that I felt the way I did because leaders, and that's what I consider myself, that's what I aim to be in the world, they have to be more composed than I was, period. I thought about that story about the ship at sea that was trapped amidst the storm or everyone was terrified, the ship's going to sink, people were pale, you know, just frantic, screaming, except for the professor who, although he felt the same fear and was overcome by the same biological characteristics, he was not crying out, indicating that, you know, emotions often can't be avoided, but the response is what carries the weight. And I just think it was a great lesson for me, Because for a quick period of time, I definitely, using the same metaphor, cried out.

Right. And if that intrusion on my work and privacy was a ship amidst the storm, it's okay that I felt the way I did. But now we have to work on the reaction. And by the way, I've gotten plenty of opportunity to, right? The account's still hacked. There's still weird posts going out under my name. But I manage it way differently. There's a calmness that I've managed to acquire and maintain.

We're done complaining about problems here. We're looking for solutions amidst what we can control and letting go of what we cannot. Look, I know it's a cliche that our most important lessons come from our moments of duress, but this is exactly what I believe that phrase refers to, right? You need to be hardened by the adversity to change yourself. You need to be able to look at the way. the mirror and go, ooh, I didn't like that. I'm not doing that again, right? And it took an embarrassing three hours of me being furious and acting irrationally. Okay, fine. But that's a small price to pay

for the lesson that I acquired. So I think for someone listening to this, my hope is twofold. One, don't forget that the initial reaction is often sewn into your DNA. It's okay to feel what you feel when things don't go your way. But also, as you sort through the chaos, know that you have the ability to not only tame it, but make something from it, right? Truly. So that next time something similar arises,

you have a blueprint. You'll be a step ahead. You'll find that perspective. Probably realizing, as I have, that it's just not the end of the world anyway. When you're able to eventually step outside your emotions, operate from a point of clarity, a reshuffling of priorities always seems to take place. Look, the storms will come.

And if you're pushing and growing and trying to take risks, those storms will be numerous. The question isn't, will you feel them? The question is, can you get a little better each time at not crying out? Can you improve the reaction? Can you regain composure and stay locked in on what truly matters? You know, one of the hardest things to do is to walk away from a situation that's just okay. That's fine, it's doable, livable. There's an idea that the enemy of great isn't its inverse.

The enemy of great is not average or insignificant. or throw in any similar word. No, the enemy of great is good. Why? Because it's incredibly easy to rationalize good. It's incredibly easy to sit back and tell yourself, hey, things aren't currently broken, so why touch them?

Leave it alone. It's why it's a dangerous place to be. Comfort doesn't, on its own, initiate action or evolution. there has to be some sort of stressor to ignite the flame. And I'll get a response, you know, every now and then, truly in good faith, asking, well, what's wrong with average? Why can't I just be? Not everyone can be LeBron James or Adele or Denzel Washington. Eddie, this convo sends people down a path of false hope.

Well, hear me out. Because I'm certainly not saying everyone can be LeBron James. But they can most definitely be LeBron James in their own world. And instead are settling for some sort of bench roll. I'm not saying if you're not a movie star making $20 million a film you've lost. I'm merely pointing out that perhaps you haven't even found the courage to star in your own movie. The one that is your life. And I can't speak for every human being on the planet here, but I most certainly can speak for myself.

The easiest thing for me, the temptation I always find myself grappling with, is the temptation to stay where I am. To accept things as they are, pass change off as something that's just a little bit out of my control. That's what my lizard brain always seems to want. It's really nice to not have to feel the burden. of knowing I can change things around me. That prospect of creating my own friction, my own chaos, so that I can, in a sense, tame it and elevate myself, that can be overwhelming.

That's stressful. But you know what it is at the end of the day? It's thrilling. It's meaningful. And it may have taken me years to understand, but I'd trade a safe life for a meaningful one any day. It was my coming to understand that statistically we should not be here. The odds are so small that you're alive listening to this,

that the word improbability doesn't do it justice. It's a miracle in every sense of the word, and so what do we do about that? How do you explain a feeling? How do you explain the cost of not going, of fewer sunrises, Less laughter, untapped creativity. Unwalked paths, journeys never started. You can't.

Which is why you have to go. Good is not detrimental because it's insufficient. It's detrimental because it gives you just enough to make stepping out into the world feel illogical. It's a warm blanket, keeping you comfortable enough to forfeit that feeling you truly. truly crave. And I hope it's clear. My take in this is not that we aren't enough. It's that we

have to be reminded that our biological compass points towards survival. And survival is a game of stagnation. Our souls, on the other hand, they need to run. To seek out the magnificence of life. And the more times we can be tapped on the shoulder and reminded of this, the better. See, I don't dream of new horizons because I'm ungrateful. I've learned to chase them down because I'm so grateful that I refuse to forfeit the gift. To leave my curiosity packaged and confined, I want to bask in life's abundance before my time here is up. And that's just it. That's the whole point. The friction between the knowing and the doing.

Making that happen, physically bringing yourself there. It's not an easy thing. Certainly not as easy as putting your feet up and rationalizing the status quo. It's why I listen to voices that inspire me, read stories that teach me, I talk to people who lift me up. Going is harder than staying. meaning resides in the going. So no, it's not about being LeBron James. It's about getting off the bench and at least shooting a shot. Whatever a shot means to you

wherever you are, because if you don't, you'll never experience the thrill of having made one, of having felt that success. It's not about what you're doing, it's about what your leaving on the table. Is average terrible? I don't know. Is a Ferrari never taken out of its garage terrible? Not really, it's still a Ferrari, but it won't experience the very thing that Ferrari was designed to experience.

Again, how do you quantify that? You can't. Not until you go. So here's the stepping out. of whatever the present definition of normalcy is in your world. Maybe not frantically changing the world around you, but certainly questioning the good, questioning yourself, questioning the rogeron. Has the routine overshadowed the reason you put the routine into place?

Has the way things are come to outweigh the way you'd like them to be? has good become a distraction misdirecting you away from both life's brilliance and your own ready to prioritize yourself in the new year your skin is a great place to start dime beauty founded by a master esthetician is more than just a skincare company

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Because look, there are infinite games out there. And sometimes we find ourselves caught up in a race. We have no business running. Meaning it doesn't really do anything for us. It's not where we want to be or should be. There's a saying by someone in a few social media outlets actually restricted my post for suggesting it was Einstein. So it might not be Mr. Einstein.

But whoever said it, thank you, you're awesome. The saying goes, everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it's stupid. Now, there are a lot of us fish out there, attempting to climb trees as we speak, wondering why we're not where we want to be, perhaps seeing the results or lack thereof

as an indication that we're insufficient, inadequate in some way when, hey, that's not the case at all. It's that we haven't taken the time to identify our own personal intersection of what we love and what adds value to the world. We haven't manufactured those fireworks. That's something that has to be explored, found.

J.R.R. Tolkien, not all who wander are lost, right? And I think we innately fear this process of searching because it's unsettling to not know how things are going to play out. Trust me, I've been there, right? It's taxing to not have your packaged little elevator speech and a five-year vision when it seems like the whole world does.

But to deprive yourself of this exploration is to potentially forfeit the very thing that you come to live for. Most of the time, purpose doesn't fall into one's lap. You have to have your eyes open. What's meaningful must be sought out. Now, I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here because our world is not black and white.

It sort of lives in this gray space, right? Can you win at someone else's game? Sure. There are a lot of people, quote unquote, succeeding in areas that are not ideal, that they don't love, that they're not their best in, but how is success being defined? I've talked extensively about my journey and all those games I used to play, the targets I used to aim for.

And I know a lot of people who've come to similar epiphanies. But when you don't realize you can exit stage left and begin again, start something new, you simply continue this same song and dance. Right? It's not life that keeps us confined. It's ignorance that keeps us confined. We simply have to be taught that there's more. And I understand to find an arena where you can thrive

in a purely historical context is a luxury. You are programmed to survive. You're not programmed to build an art studio because it's your passion, right? But there lies the battle. We are at a place in time where we have collectively cultivated abundance. The phone you're using to consume this content,

that little thing can be a portal that transports your thoughts, your creation, your business to the masses. You have at your fingertips access to billions of people. You have reach that humans only 30 years ago, all the way back to the beginning of mankind, could only dream of. The means are there. In so many ways, it's about freeing yourself to people.

pursue the opportunity that exists all around you, because we self-limit. Alan Watts asked the ever-important question, what would you do if money were no object? Now, in a practical world, why ask such a question? Simple, because removing those monetary constraints as you contemplate your answer, allows you to truly analyze what endeavors are meaningful to you.

When something is meaningful, you want to do. do it. When you want to do it, you immerse yourself in those little intricacies, in those details that the average person simply doesn't pay attention to. Making you so good at whatever that thing is that eventually, not only can you be the best at it, but you can monetize it and probably at a very high rate. It's not money holding you back. It's not time holding you back. It's not the external world holding you back. It's what you have been conditioned to believe that's holding you back. You are a genius at something.

You are king or queen of your empire, victor within your arena. But to realize these things, you have to, one, understand it's a possibility, and two, refuse to stay stagnant. We have to stop conceding so much while simultaneously accepting so little. Life will never provide what you do not ask for. So why? Why be scared to ask? Life won't tell you you're a fish climbing a tree.

You must tell you that. Life won't expand your horizons and adjust your trajectory. you must initiate that change. To find your genius, you must be willing to leave what's insufficient. To capture what's meaningful, you must be willing to leave what is meaningless. Let's agree to alter the question,

do I have genius level talent? Because you do. And you live in a society that also rewards those who realize it. The question we need to be willing to ask is are you willing to walk on shaky ground? To abandon, at least for a period of time, safety and the comfort of predictability

in order to find that genius. Are you willing to nurture the greatness that already lives within? you because it was never a matter of ability it's a matter of what you're willing to discover I find it interesting that what we want most is often brought about by the inverse of what we'd expect it's a paradox that's amazed me for much of my adult life and what do I mean well here are a few examples the best way to achieve freedom in your life is to be incredibly disciplined, two things that are

seemingly opposite in a sense. Or that the worst of times often open the door to the best of times. Or it's from a position of strength that one is best able to ensure peace. Or from our suffering, our pain comes our purpose and can intentment. And you get the point I could go on and on and on. But the reason this is so important, why I think it's worth discussing, is that it sheds light on the value hidden within our struggles. You know, when you realize the paradoxical nature of growth, the discomfort makes a little more sense. It's easier to wrap our hands around. So let's say getting up early.

Perhaps you weren't a morning person, but you're trying. You're trying because you think those few extra hours in the morning will add some lift. The alarm clock goes off. The last thing you want to do is open your eyes. Maybe you even start thinking, who cares, right? This isn't that important. You begin rationalizing ways. You'll go back to bed and just make up for the time throughout the day.

But when you simplify the equation, you realize what you have is an opportunity. And you're either going to say yes and capitalize on that opportunity or say no and stay where you are. Discipline, even with the small seemingly trivial stuff, becomes freedom. And if you want to position yourself for a life on your terms, where you're at the wheel on your schedule, it means facing demons just like this. It means you fight your fight now so that you can mitigate it later.

Rather than saying, I wish, or beating yourself up for not being a little bit tougher in the moment, you instead get that sense of accomplishment. You get the luxury of time and freedom. And I think that's a simple but perfect example of how discomfort in one moment becomes contentment in future moments. Not a very intuitive trade-off. Or how about our low points? We all know no one escapes low points.

I've always found them easier to handle and internalize when I know that it's bringing me closer to something valuable. When I know that there's something good on the other side and that the pain I'm feeling, the thoughts that are inevitably going to pass through my mind like clouds on a windy day. They're obviously not ideal, but they're not a waste either

because something will come of them. And the goal in that moment under the duress is not to move the immovable. After all, you can only control what you can control. But it's to simply put one foot in front of the other until you emerge from the storm because we all eventually emerged from that storm. It's when we get into the habit of trying to do what is outside the scope of our control

that we do ourselves a disservice. Because look, we're human. Equipped with human biology and human emotions, navigating a tough world that is indifferent to how we feel or what we think. And while we can certainly strengthen and fortify that emotional IQ, The reality is no one is on a high all the time. Life is ups and downs. And when we realize our superpower is not to fight the down times,

but to accept them, take them in stride, learn from them, and extract the value we empower ourselves. We're giving ourselves permission to live life just a little fuller after what we've experienced. The human experience requires many seemingly contradictory puzzle pieces all working together in unison to create that final illustration we're looking for. Not just discipline and freedom, not just low points and high points, but countless others. Jordan Peterson, of course, famously discusses chaos and order, and how both not a lot of only exist but are pivotal to a fulfilling life.

We are designed for chaos. We must step out into unknowns, situations that feel bigger than us. The courage to do so ultimately becomes the pathway to order. As we get used to the change, we acclimate, we find our answers and ultimately create a sense of fulfillment. The challenge being that now we have conquered our demon, we must prepare for the the next. Because just like too much chaos isn't good, too much order is equally destructive. Right? Another example of something we'd assume as negative. Chaos. Being the thing in actuality that paves the way for better days. It's a staircase. I've heard Tony Robbins say something

similar when talking about our need for both certainty and uncertainty. We must have some elements of everyday life mapped out, but too much creates a mundane existence without the adventure and growth we've been looking for. It's from the unknown we capture more of ourselves. It's from the uncertainty we get growth. And I say all of this, not just because I think it's fascinating in and of itself, but because it's incredibly easy to forget, especially in the thick of things, that it's all essential to life working the way it should work. Those losses become gains. The disappointment becomes growth.

The downtimes become launching pads to evolve experiences, greater adventures, and new chapters. It's certainly not intuitive to look in the mirror when amidst life's chaos and say thank you to the universe. I get that. I'm not implying that you should. But I am saying it helps to know, it helps to be aware of the paradoxical nature of your journey. I look back at the times I was most fearful or angry at myself.

And if I could go back and tell that version of me one thing, it would be that all that adversity is going to push me forward. That I'd never have the things I wanted most if I didn't step into all that discomfort. that it's going to be okay, that I'm going to be incredibly thankful for it all, and so will you. This is the push-pull of life, the chaos and order of the day. It is not in spite of, but because of those moments, you'll be more than you've ever been. The human experience is a paradox, and the quicker we get that, The quicker we let it work for us. No more fighting unwinnable wars,

but rather taking all that we can control and using it to lift ourselves up, to be our best selves, to make tomorrow the miracle that it can be.