Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - WHEN YOU FEEL LOST IN LIFE | Powerful Motivation Speech on NOT GIVING UP

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

"Don't worry about losing other people. Worry about losing yourself trying to please other people."

There's a saying, don't worry about losing other people. Worry about losing yourself while trying to please other people. And see, holding on to our authentic selves not always easy. In fact, Emerson said to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And that holds true. And especially in our fast-paced world, shiny objects constantly. buzzing around us. Sometimes it seems like the only way to see with clarity

is to keep our eyes closed. I was in the car the other day, had Spotify on Shuffle. And a Jason Aldeen song came on. It's called Better at Being Who I Am. And it's essentially about a guy who loses himself in a relationship a little bit at a time.

And the chorus is basically him sharing his epiphany, looking around and going, whoa, what the hell happened? And it was laid out in a way that wasn't sort of the obvious, blatant, you know, be yourself. I mean, sure, part of the theme was how important being yourself is, but the emphasis was on how fragile of a thing that can be. He put a spotlight on the idea that he got good at forgetting he was in a place. that he knew he didn't belong, how we can become masters of forgetting that, champions of rationalization.

And that was his message, being that he has somehow, somewhere, lost himself along the way. That concession after concession can ultimately put you in a place where you don't know who you are, where you can know something isn't quite right and still slowly and subtly, it creeps in.

It can consume your reality, and that's what cut through me. Not simply because it occurred. It wasn't so much the epiphany itself, but more so that he showed how easily the erosion of this self can occur in our lives, how easily we lose ourselves, how sneaky the whole thing can. be. And this particular example is pointing to a relationship with his girlfriend, and it certainly can be this. But it doesn't have to be, and often it's not. It can be a job you don't want to do,

but hanging in there just one more day turns into more days than you can count. It can be time with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing, going against your best judgment. It can be the business decision. for short-term gain that ultimately points you in a direction, you don't want to go, right? Before giving life to that convenient phrase, well, I've come too far to turn back now. Life is like a small child,

always gently tugging on his mom's sleeve to get her to stop doing what she's doing and go get ice cream, right? It's the temptation to move away from the task at hand to abandon the principles just slightly. the objectives just enough that they'll be pulled off track, right? That's always there. And to reiterate, because this nuance is why I think the idea is so important.

The message is not simply about being authentic. I think we all understand the value and necessity of authenticity, or at least I hope. Your value is in who you are. The things that make you unique are the gateway to a life of, fulfillment. What makes you you? And how can you delve into that? Share it with the world. That's the good stuff. Okay, so let's presume we know this. My fascination and goal is to point out the fact that so much around us is looking to take that authenticity and subtly, over time, transform it, that if we are not aware of what we are, we will lose who we are. And that's where you end up

in those wrong relationships, wrong places, doing the wrong things. A lot of times it wasn't deliberate or conscious. It wasn't one swing of the axe. It was letting yourself slip away one day at a time. It's the pressure of an infinite number of things, right? The billion choices you have pulling you in all different directions. It's the people in your life that may have different incentives than you. It's that deep biological tendency to want to appear like you're winning now. It's your brain telling you to do what the crowd does because the alternative creates pain. It's not wanting to let others down because you want to be their source of happiness, completely forgetting that an empty cup has nothing to offer. It's the deception

online. The highlight reels, filtered pictures, humble brags and exaggerated success stories, all prompting us to say, well, then I must have miscalculated. My path must be the wrong path. And maybe we don't come to this realization and immediately jump ship, but we take in a little water every day. Every time we open the app and feel lesser because of an impossible standard, every time we put the thing that meant something to us on hold for someone else, every time we chase that shiny object

in exchange for what we expect will be short-term validation. But here's the crazy part. It's like when I shut everything off, when it's just me and my thoughts, no distraction, I have a very good sense of who I am and what I want,

just in my gut. I know what feels right to me. And it's only what we're, when the chaos comes in, that the target can get blurry and the goal seems to live a little further away. And maybe that's why that song had an impact, why the light bulb went off. The idea that something so obvious, so powerful, so important can elude us and deceive us. There's something to that. I'm better at being who I am. Of course I am. And so are you. So why don't we? Why isn't there an emphasis there? Why is that something that doesn't get our thought and attention?

We can't afford to forfeit that instinct. And so this is the part where I remind myself and everyone listening that you get nothing in life without some semblance of self-trust. You have to take the time to understand who you are and trust yourself to build that from the ground up. Without that, you'll get swept up by the currents of everyday life. But to know what matters in your world and to hold on to it with conviction, that's what it's all about. And then, yes, you'll have success letting people into your life. When they contribute to who you are as a person. When they align with your values, when they feel like wind on your sails.

And yeah, of course, take the proven paths and utilize the beneficial tactics, but only when they align with what you are building. If not, walking away is the best option, wandering around until you find alignment. That brings more value than a toolbox of the wrong tools. And sure, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I get that. That's called being responsible,

but those things, as annoying as they are, should be contributing to something that does matter. to you. The building's foundation is not fun or sexy, but it's necessary. Just make sure you believe in what will ultimately be built on top of it. Otherwise, you are most certainly wasting your time. Your gift is you. You have something to share, something to explore, nurture and grow. Stand in front of that, never hide behind it. Protect it. It's the benchmark against which all other things should be measured. We're all better at being ourselves than some impersonation of what we think the world wants us to be. I think the question comes down to, will you allow that greatness for yourself?

Will you be courageous enough to keep the spotlight on what matters most? will you maintain the awareness that when you're walking down a path that doesn't align with who you want to be you can self-correct turn around put emphasis on that part of you that lights you up because that will not only benefit you but it will benefit everyone around you and ultimately benefit the world