Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - WHEN YOU FEEL LOST IN LIFE | Powerful Motivational Speeches Compilation

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

Not until we are lost, do we begin to find ourselves...

There's often a vast distinction between what we think is holding us back and what is actually holding us back. And that may even be putting it lightly. Most of the time we're just plain misinformed. Most of the time, we're looking externally at irrelevant discrepancies between ourselves and someone else. We're looking at things that happened yesterday, possible outcomes that may happen tomorrow. We're creating entire stories, crafting narratives, building hostile worlds that simply don't exist. When what we need is simple. To give ourselves permission. To let ourselves walk out that front door and towards what we love.

long for. And this came to light recently. I shared a simple 20-second message on TikTok where basically I highlighted John Green's quote about the best things in life occurring after we find the courage to depart or leave where we are, right? To build again. And as I was looking at the response, it was both beautiful and eye-opening. Hundreds and hundreds of comments from people saying that,

The message helped them feel empowered to do what they've been putting off. And some called it fate. Some called it what they needed to hear at the exact moment. They needed to hear it. And as I'm going through, I keep thinking the same thing over and over and over every single one of these people. They already knew in their hearts what needed to come next. They knew what would make them feel alive. They knew where the compass was pointing, yet their default led them to the same place we've all been, waiting for external permission, waiting for life to give us a reason to say, okay.

The light is now green. You can go. The time is right. Now, don't get me wrong, it means the world that a simple message can shift one's perspective that way. I've been on the receiving end. I'm stuck looking for some type of guidance we all have, but I think we'd all agree that if that guidance helps us get back on track, then the real question should be, how do we live so that we can stay to the best of our ability on track? Find ourselves less prone to those occurrences, more confident in ourselves, in our dreams, in where we're going. And for me, it's been understanding that in my life, I am the one that creates, signs, and sends the permission slips. I say go. And when I remember that, I'm free to do what's best for me. I'm simultaneously the architect and the pieces, the wind, and the sail. See, you don't need a reason to walk out of a relationship you're not happy in.

You don't need a reason to leave a job that's not pushing you to be who you most want to become. You don't need a reason to change a habit or reinvent yourself or begin again. Know all you need is the courage to green light what your heart already knows it wants. We think that the external world has the answers for us. when in reality we've had them the whole time. We just want something to point to, to say, see, I was right. But we don't need to be reactive. We can be proactive.

You can be the one that lights the fire. When you follow your intuition, your heart, your sense of purpose, life conforms because it has to conform. When you become an immovable object, life around you moves. It makes way, and if it doesn't, then you go back to the drawing board. You adapt and adjust. And that's the beauty of life. That's how we build meaning, trusting ourselves to walk into that resistance.

Because the friction and the headwind is never what's holding us back. Are they uncomfortable? Yeah. At times, does it scare us? Sure. It's supposed to. But it's not what holds you back. Waiting for someone or something to come along

and greenlight your journey through life is what holds you back. And it's funny, I think we again and again overlook the simplest of truth. The hardest part is true. starting. It's convincing yourself that one, it's possible and two, you're worth it. Everything else you face from the second you walk out that front door can be conquered. In fact, we ourselves grow along the way so that we can rise up and meet the demands of life, but it's unquestionably doable. That thought as you look out the window, right? What if the worst case scenario happens?

can't because the worst case scenario is sitting in that seat your whole life looking out the window and imagining a world where you found the courage to be more to explore to live life as it was meant to be lived but let's say let's say that what we fear does come to fruition then I ask what are the odds it's reversible probably high let's say I want to start a podcast and I finally work up the courage and I get my mic and I start my show and no one listens. But I keep going and I keep going and nothing sticks. And most importantly, I learned, look, I'm really not crazy about this idea. It wasn't what I thought it was. It's not me. Okay, perfect. Now you know. And sure,

it took time to learn that lesson, but you have the rest of your life to continue the beautiful experiment to search for what lights you up. But you found the courage to explore, to try, to try to begin and you are now better because of it. That's your worst case scenario? Sounds a lot less scary to me than a life lived sitting there looking out the window. See, we can't let the fear of an unlikely worst case stop the possibility of that oh so coveted best case. Don't let the virtually zero percent probability of losing everything overshadow the opportunity. to gain everything. Let's never allow ourselves to get caught standing still waiting for the universe to give us the answer as though we're waiting for a letter in the mail.

No, give yourself permission to see the upside to make your own decisions and most importantly to live your life. I was recently reading a book called The Boys in the Boat. about nine American rowers from Washington that won gold in the 1936 Olympics. There's this incredible exchange at one point in the book between the main character Joe, who's part of that historic boat, and a man named George Pocock, who was not only a brilliant rowing mind that helped the team out, but he also had his own business crafting in making the boats or rowing shells,

as they were called, and he would make them and send them to, to schools all over the country. And so Joe's deal is that he's this natural talent, right? Strong kid, tough as nails, but just seems to lose his composure from time to time. When he's in the boat, there are these moments of jaw-dropping excellence, unprecedented speed across the water. And then there are moments when he loses his focus.

And the boat sort of follows suit, right? They're inconsistent. And so George Pocock, being the rowing, that he has made a commitment to see if he could help Joe figure that out, right? The mental game. So he calls Joe into his shop. And he starts showing him how he puts together these highly coveted boats, showing him the tools and the pieces and how it's nothing short of an art.

He has sort of this divine respect for his craft. And at one point, he pulls out a cedar plank that he'll be using to make one of the boats. And he points to the growth rings in the wood, mentioning that they, tell the story of the tree's 2,000 year life. So here's a quick quote from the exchange. He says, their thickness and thinness spoke of hard years of bitter struggle, intermittent with rich years of sudden growth. The different colors spoke of various soils and minerals that the tree's roots had

encountered, some harsh and stunting, some rich and nourishing. Flaws and irregularities told how the tree is. endured fires and lightning strikes, windstorms, and infestations, and yet continued to grow. Almost as if there was something sacred about it. The wood taught us about survival, about overcoming difficulty, about prevailing over adversity, but it also taught us something about the underlying reason for surviving in the first place. Something about infinite beauty, underlying grace, about things larger and, greater than ourselves, about the reasons we are all here.

I paused after reading that and thought for a minute or two, what is it about those rowers crossing the finish line after giving everything they have that touches us so deeply? What is it about a cedar tree standing the test of time, those 2,000 years of adversity only to triumphantly pierce the sky when all is said and done. It moves us, because it tells us what we already know, yet forget. In our hearts believe,

but often fail to see, that we are greater than the sum of our parts. Ernest Becker, when he was touched on the aspect of the human predicament, he famously noted that we are simultaneously, simultaneously worms and gods, earthly and divine. And I think it's in those moments, the crossing of finished lines, the times we did more than we ever thought possible, or looked back and smiled about all we overcame.

It's in these times we're able to transcend the mundane, the everyday. We're able to remind ourselves that, sure, some aspects of us are merely human, but no aspects are ordinary. The greatest power one can witness is that of the human spirit, bending but never breaking, making light of the odds and an example of the predictable. So know that whether now is difficult or not, it's part of your journey,

a defining chapter in the incredible story of your life, your life and if you find yourself up cherish that it's more precious than gold if you find yourself down remember that you'll look back on this growth ring of your life and be grateful that it gave you that which smooth sailing never could because at the end of the day all you have is what's in front of you the next move the next step and the faith that all these little pieces will someday mean something that standing the test of time will speak for itself at your finish line, whatever that may be, it will. You'll look back and see that without your knowing or awareness, they propelled you into the current moment.

They gave life to something beyond the realm of worms and dirt, beyond the realm of humans operating in their day-to-day world. No, they allowed you for a moment in time. to touch the infinite, if only to prove to yourself that you could. There's a quote by Custia Motto, Mike Tyson's trainer at one point. He said, the hero and the coward both feel the same thing. But the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent. While the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it.

that matters. In other words, it's not that some of us can skip fear altogether, remove it, eliminate it. No, we all at some point or another find ourselves standing face to face with fear. The question is, what do you do in that moment when it's your turn? I've always said fear doesn't get easier. It doesn't hurt less, but it's not supposed to. You can't change what fear is, but you can change what it does for you, how it impacts your life. Your life is determined by the relationship you build with that four-letter word. When does reality shift? It shifts when your hands trumbled, when your palms sweat, when there's that feeling of uneasiness in your stomach, when the easiest thing in the world to do is walk away,

but you carry on anyway. There's a re-washed. wiring that occurs. When that same trigger that historically tells you to run ultimately becomes your invitation to accept something greater, to become something more. And it's funny how that works, that same feeling. The same idea that acts as a stop sign for most people, most of the world, is different for you. It becomes your reason to elevate life to something meaningful.

The same reason you're able to overcome limitation and make happiness of priority. It's that you learned no complex formula or secret code, but simply understood that the scary thing is most often the right thing. There's a saying everything you want is on the other side of fear. Not a one-time permanent decision, but every day crossing that barrier that separates comfort and opportunity. Standing in that doorway of what is and what can be, Robin Sharma says being scared is part of being alive, so accept it, walk through it. In essence, to avoid fear is to skip what makes life worth living. The peak experiences that we remember, that's the fork in the road we face, the predicament we are presented with.

The comfortable, unremarkable existence where the road spawned from curiosity, the journey of a life. And so next time we find ourselves in that moment, let us remember that pain is temporary, but turning around and walking away is forever. Let us remember that tomorrow is what we make it, and the cost of admission starts now. Let us remember that the obstacle in front of us is not easy, but it wasn't intended to be. And that's precisely the reason we must walk through. It's interesting to think about life as a journey, as in the places you've gone, the twists and turns that materialize, the people that have entered and left your world, the days that one by one emerged and retreated. I took a walk this morning, I was thinking about all the steps that brought me to this point, the decisions I made or didn't make, the actions that essentially bridge.

then and now. It's quite an adventure we're on. And what I realized on this particular walk, it was that throughout my story, some of my biggest shifts, my greatest transformation, even the happiest moments of my life, they were born from questions that I asked myself.

Some incredibly obvious. Questions that maybe I just never asked. Others, well, they required reworking, common narratives. But they were all questions that caused me to reflect on my life and my situation and allow me to be more,

to focus on the right things and leave all that other stuff behind. So I figured I'd share a few of those questions today, what they meant for me, and how, hopefully, they can help you along the same lines. So question number one,

what do I have to lose? I learned early on that our tendency is to want to protect what we have. Routine is safe and safety is survival. Whether it's trying something different, going somewhere new, leaving something behind, very few decisions in life can't be reversed. Very few decisions are forever. Yet we often stay in situations we aren't happy with because we fear the unknown so greatly that it seems not worth it.

And this isn't a character flaw, it's instinct. But it can be rewired and reworked. Because danger isn't in making mistakes. Danger is in never making them and becoming a fraction of what you might have been. So that's question number one. What do you have to lose? Question number two, am I happy?

Why is this on the list? Because sometimes I'd forget that it's okay to simply do what makes me happy. What I enjoy. I don't have to do anything. I get to live the way I want to live. I think we too often let happiness take a back seat while we pursue things that we feel a sense of obligation to pursue. And I'm not saying happy all the time is a thing. I've talked about that before, I've made videos about it.

Life is absolutely peaks and valleys and navigating between them. But I do think happiness should be what we aim for. It should be our foundation and closely tied to our sense of purpose because, well, you don't get a second life. So it's important to make sure you enjoy this one and frequently ask yourself if where you are in life makes you happy. Number three, how can I get there? Now the nuance here, the difference is in the word how at the beginning of the question. Think about that.

Think about the difference between can I get there and how can I get there? I learned this in college and it truly changed my perspective. You know, when you start any journey knowing that the destination will be reached, when there is no question, when you're sure of yourself. The little decisions are no longer about whether to turn back

or whether it's worth it. There is no can I, but it's in the how, it's the adjustments. What do I need to change? What have I learned that I can implement? What is everyone else doing or not doing that I can do? It's not whether your goal exists because it does. The question do you get there.

Number four, what can I remove? Why? Because our tendency when we feel stuck or overwhelmed or lost or unsure is to look to acquire solutions, right? It's like, what can I add that I don't have? What can I obtain that will fill some void or gap? And sure, you know, maybe sometimes that's the case, but in my experience, far more common is the need to eliminate

what doesn't serve you. It's not to add, but to remove. It's to simplify. Identify what matters and just remove the rest. It's such a nice feeling to have line of sight to a particular goal and a foundation in place that allows you to move towards it, eliminating the activities that are meaningless. And that's, you know, the people that hold you back,

the places that don't coincide with who you want to be. If it's not helping you, it's hurting you. So, what can you remove? Number five, have I been scared recently? And those of you who have been listening to me for a while, you know I'm big on this one. If you haven't been in a situation recently where you've been nervous or uneasy or unsure,

then you probably aren't growing. And all of my life-changing moments, they made me uneasey, made me uneasy at the time. They made me question myself. They weren't simple for me. From the beginning of my keynote speaking career to pushing creative boundaries to having the courage to grow my business in ways I hadn't before, they were all terrifying in the moment. And they all ended up being essential to the path I'm on. The way I look at it is fear doesn't really get easy, but you can get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable.

You start to see it as just the price you pay for something better, the ticket to get into the show, the beginning of everything good to come. So have you been scared recently? Number six, what is my little hinge? Now, a little hinge is one small thing you can do that has a monumental impact on your day. For me, it's waking up early, it's having coffee, it's reading and getting some time to myself. that propels me into the rest of the day like a rocket. So the question is, what is the little thing in your life that can have a big impact on your day,

on your energy, on your success? What is your little hand? Number seven, how can I find a positive in this situation? And this one's tough, but it makes all the difference. And here is the reality, even the worst experiences, our greatest letdowns, they open the door to something positive, something that can change your life for the better.

And it is convincing myself to find it amidst these situations that has contributed to some of my greatest breakthroughs, because you learn. You're forced to adapt. You're forced to become more. And the key is put right in front of you. The problem is that most of the time

we're so consumed by what we lost that we walk right by the positive. COVID's a great example. Incredibly challenging time, difficult for everyone involved. People have lost their jobs, found themselves unsure of what tomorrow holds. But I've always said since day one that if you can find one positive here,

one thing you can start or do or change so that when it's all over and you look back, you can say that little period of uncertainty, of hell, of discomfort, well, that is when it all started. That's when I planted the seed for something incredible. And so my question to you is, how can you find the positive in this situation?

Number eight, why not me? Anyone who's done something of value has faced long odds. They've had to peer into an abyss, not knowing what the future would hold, they didn't have an external world providing assurances. No, true to the name, they leaned on their internal world, their world within, self-belief. An understanding that life might knock them around, it might present challenges, but somewhere in there was the courage to march forward and overcome. See, no one's born special with all the answers.

The way I see it, there are people who had the courage to embrace vulnerability in those who did not. So let go of the thought that there's a monumental difference between you and the people who have what you want. Create a plan, prepare for the long haul, and most importantly believe in yourself to overcome. If they did it, why not you? Question number nine, who matters? Now this is in a lot of ways tied to question for the whole what can I remove question, but it's so important and it's been so valuable to me that I want to expound upon it. Imagine a hospital bed scenario. Imagine God forbid you're sick and had to spend some time in the hospital.

Who of all the people you know would make time to visit and sit by your bedside? Maybe the list is small, maybe it's not. But at least personally, I have a gut feel for who in my life fits that description. Those are really the people who matter. Those are the people I want to share time with and be there for. Those are opinions I consider. And this is important because we spend so much time, in some cases, making life-altering decisions based on the opinions of people who don't meet that description. Don't even come close.

Sometimes strangers. And I'm not advocating being disrespectful towards people you don't know. Nothing along those lines, but what I am reminding. is that there were a few people, a handful, in our lives that truly have our best interest at heart. That means something. Don't adjust your life for people not on that list. It's important to ask yourself who matters.

Lastly, number 10, how am I thinking about yesterday? Now, this one's near and dear to my heart, because yesterday can be a tricky thing. You know, we fall into the trap, sometimes without even realizing it, of allowing our past to determine our future. Well, this is how people saw me yesterday. This is how I felt about myself yesterday. This is what my life was like yesterday. So this is who I am. This is who I need to be.

But that thinking couldn't be further from the truth. Right. You are always one decision away from a totally different life, one step away from walking down a new path. from creating something for yourself never seen. So don't ever feel like you can't change or grow into something new because you spent so long getting to where you are now. See, life is malleable. It's a story you decide to tell,

and as I've always said, you are the captain of your ship. And that wake behind you has no control over where you choose to go next. Don't ever forget that. Your attention should be on where you are. now not where you used to be. So how are you thinking about yesterday and most importantly where will you go from here?