Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - YOU BECOME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT | Best Motivational Speeches | Listen Every Day

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

"Our life is shaped by our mind. We become what we think" - Buddha

There's a haze that circles around our most important moments. And I say haze, because often the things that will be most meaningful in our lives or that will best position us for future transformation or success, they don't accurately depict the value that they ultimately provide. In fact, a lot of the time we get the opposite impression. The answer is deceptively masked as the problem. The thing we are most inclined to run away from, it's often unclear to us that the pain we're experiencing will become the purpose.

The loss will become the strength. We can't always see that losing the job will become our reason to find ourselves and the work that will be most meaningful. We don't always understand that losing someone that was a big part of our lives will ultimately create a little space that will bring about connection with others who will lift us up and make us better. We aren't always aware that falling short is incredibly powerful because it's what most often prompts us to look in the mirror and ask that magical question, how can I be better? Again, we see it in a million different ways, different contexts, the solutions masquerade as problems, or as has been famously put, the way often presents itself as the obstacle. Which means we have to operate with a sense of awareness and understanding that often alludes us. Sometimes the reality is that it hurts to let go.

But if it's not right for you, it hurts to hold on as well. The difference is when you do find the strength to let go, you simultaneously create space for the things that will make your life better. And I've noticed, you know, as I've navigated this crazy place well into my 30s, that the discomfort I've experienced in the past, it rarely utilizes my future as its benchmark. When I'm uncomfortable, it's because something has gone awry in the now. This moment hurts.

In this moment, I feel less than. In this moment, I feel lost. In this moment, I am X, Y, or Z. It's all generally immediate. Emotive responses to what's happening. Which is why I advocate so strongly for pausing, pulling back, taking a breath, and assessing the whole picture. in totality. See, I've made decisions in my life that have set me back a year, right, that

destroyed me emotionally, totally altered my plans. And I look back on some of those decisions now with all the pain they brought and I think, you know, was there another way? Did I make the right move? Did I need to endure all that? And I'm not going to pretend, you know, I know how some parallel universe would have unfolded if I acted differently. But as a lot of you know, as I reflect back, I still think that I made the right choice. I don't see another way. Sometimes there are no easy decisions. Sometimes life is about choosing the least bad option. I've talked about having to step back in order to leap forward, or stepping sideways in order to ultimately advance. Sometimes the thing we need just looks like

discomfort, the sheep in wolves clothing, where you have to seek out monsters in order to destroy the ones that live inside of you. The reason, one, I think this is so important, and two, I'm so passionate about sharing it with others is because, again, our instincts drive us away from the things we need most. It's just how it is. Humans are more emotional than we are rational. And there have been plenty of times where, you know, just being reminded, Eddie, I get that this is challenging, but where do you most want to go? Eddie, you're playing defensive, which I'm sure minimizes problems now, but will never propel you forward with your career.

Eddie, you're dragging your feet and calling it perfectionism. Could it in fact be fear? I've had a lot of these little, and sometimes not so little, epiphany, over the course of the last decade. When people ask me about speaking, which being that I do it for a living would make sense, right? Tips or insights, whatever it is, I'm being completely sincere when I say that

I wish I had some formula I could propose, right, that would make you go from zero to 60 in three months. But the truth is, the biggest bang for your buck is stepping right into the terror. The thing you're most inclined to run from. And that was it for me, right? Shear terror, actually shaking nights where I stayed awake, reciting keynotes into hotel mirrors.

Couldn't eat. And I'd wrap up, the event would be over, I'd just go back to the room and collapse in bed because I hadn't slept the night before, right? That's how it started. And the more times I didn't give myself a way out, the more I saw past the fear, put emotions aside, and reiterated

to myself that underneath all that discomfort was value, the better I became. The less dramatic each speaking engagement became. And the terror evolved into excitement. Eddie, please get through this. Eventually evolved into Eddie, how can you make this speaking engagement more exciting, more fun, more captivating than the last one? I recently spoke at the MGM Grand Arena, and it was one of the one. of the most incredible experiences of my life.

And I'm sure you can imagine, not necessarily because of the event. But it prompted me to think back to all those times I wanted to say no so badly with all my heart, with every fiber of my being, but didn't. It was just a proud feeling. Like you get those moments from time to time where everything becomes a single snapshot. It all makes sense. Because over times I truly didn't understand why I was moving forward. I just did.

I just knew I'd burn the boats. There were no other options. And when you collect that W, you quickly remember. And so all this, to emphasize the very important point, that it may not be speaking at the MGM Grand Arena that you're North Star. Maybe it's something totally different. But I want to remind you that the road to wherever you most want, want to be is not perfectly paved and decorated with flowers.

It won't always be sunny with clear blue skies. And to take it even further, the paths that are paved with flowers and clear blue skies are often the wrong ones. In a world of trade-offs, we know that the best things often require the greatest sacrifice. The beautiful things are often derived from a willingness to endure prior turbulent. And should you find yourself amidst all that in the thick of it, it's essential to know that should you choose to do so, you can transform the chaos into something incredible. Realistically, that pain of loss we can't do anything about, right? Nature has made it so that we feel every

sense of what's been taken away. But nature doesn't do such a good job of reminding of the infinite value that can now move into our souls, be used to open our eyes so that we may see the world as we've never seen it before. There is such power and the ability to view that fleeting emotion, the discomfort of now, in terms of what it will ultimately become. As the saying goes, the hardest thing and the right thing, are often the same thing.

thing. So be your own judge, your own critic. Decide what best points you to that place amongst the stars you long to be. Just understand that the road won't be pain-free and those who try to make it so miss out on a lot of the brilliance available to us. That haze that tries to conceal what's most important is only effective if we keep our eyes close. If we aren't honest with ourselves. But if you know one what's most important and two are committed to one day arriving there, the short term obstacles become a relatively small price to pay. One of my favorite quotes is sometimes success is simply hanging on when others would be letting go. The reason is that it reminds me how frequently the

advantage is in not stopping. It's in consistency. It's in showing up. When I run particularly long distances, almost like clockwork I can break it down to feeling good at the beginning. Usually a little rough stretch in the middle and then somewhere in the second half I catch a second wind or a second blast of energy. The question just becomes when? Well, you hang in long enough to capture it? Because you don't know when it might be, where it will show up, you don't know when you'll find that nice rhythm again that makes it sport so enjoyable to me. And when I say, you know, you can pull an infinite amount of life lessons from running, this is one of them. That depiction of trusting that the road ahead has everything you need to cross your finish line.

Even when the short-term chaos is all you can see and feel, even when it's hard to look up and imagine. Right? Because it's easier said than done when you're tired and worn down to continue on, right? When you're in the trenches. There's an uncertainty to the road ahead, but each footstep is a shot on target. Each step forward is saying, I'm worn down, but I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. And life can present an almost eerily similar narrative, right, whether personally you're at a low point, whether you've been working and working and working and haven't seen the result you're looking for,

whether you're uncomfortable and starting to wonder whether this reward is really worth the high price tag. You need to remember that second wind, that second blast of energy, just enough momentum to ease your worry and recalibrate your journey, it's there. It's waiting. But you know the rules of life. It won't come to you. You must go to it. Through the storm into the night beyond the comforts of home, most sadly don't arrive. Not because they couldn't, but because they ultimately let go.

They looked too far down the road at the distance to be traveled and forgot that their only job was to hold on. Through the doubt, the pain, the worry, no miracle. Just a willingness to fight each battle as it presented itself. To let time stack up, to let the distance over your shoulder accumulate. See, the thing about stopping is that you never know when that much needed second wind will arrive. There's a saying that many of life's failures had no clue how close they were to success when they gave up. When they turned around. Now, I'm not suggesting the road will be perfect, or that it won't come with its adversity, mistakes, and lessons.

but what we always have control over is the ability to push forward until we finally come face to face with that which we so desperately needed. It's there. I could say it a million times and it wouldn't be enough. The pieces exist. Will you hang in long enough to collect them? When the road is intimidating, will you hold? When you run into those moments of self-doubt, will you hold on?

When you feel small, navigating the ups and downs of life, will you hold on? Because if the answer is yes, you'll find yourself crossing some finish lines that will blow your mind. You'll get from life that which most can only dream of. And again, not because of the miraculous, but because you knew that the second wind was coming, you knew it would be there for you so long as you kept moving forward. Holding on when most would be letting go. Life is perspective.

So during the good times, find gratitude. And during the difficult times, find the opportunity. When you have the answers, when you know, be proud of your knowledge. And when you don't celebrate all the wisdom to come. When the sun is shining, cherish the warmth on your skin, and when it's not, learn to run in the rain. When you're focused, appreciate the clarity. And when life feels chaotic,

Embrace the chance to manufacture order. When people come into your life, value the ride that you'll share. And when they leave, take note of all they gave along the way. When you win, reflect back on all the hard work that made it possible. And when you lose, take in the lessons that even winning can't provide.

When things go as planned, revel in your ability to execute. But when your plans and life's plans diverge, remember that some things are simply outside of your control. And now, this moment is a chance to identify and utilize the things that are in your control. Henry David Thoreau, it's not what you look at, it's what you see. So see the world as you'd like it to be. Never turning a blind eye to reality, but realizing how much control you have over making reality

your own. We are the builders. The world around us merely provides the components and the pieces. And if one were to live as though there were value in every moment, they would inevitably find themselves looking for that value. perhaps even when it was difficult to find, most elusive. When most would hang their heads and walk right by it, I look out my window and see a world that is neither valuable or valueless,

I see a blank canvas in which we are tasked with making that decision. Life is a roller coaster ride. It has ups and downs, the obvious and the unexpected, And while some think nothing of the high points and dwell on the low points, there are an abundance of resources, of beauty, of joy, reserved for those who understand how great the highs are and how valuable the lows, who take what comes not as walls to live within, but as parts to assemble,

not as antithetical to their hopes and dreams, but as the very foundation they will build those hopes and dreams upon. This world is not for you, just as much as it is entirely yours. It calls for you to be that arbiter. For what you decide will inevitably take. Around 2011, I hurt my left arm and had to get surgery.

So for a while, I was pretty limited as far as what I could do with my upper body. And that's really when I fell in love with running. I started doing it almost every day. Sometimes those long runs outside, clear my mind, sort of reset a little bit, and sometimes I mix it up. Hop on the treadmill and do my favorite workout, which was a pyramid, right, where you break 10 minutes into 4.7. four, three, two, and one, increasing in intensity with each segment, and then you start over.

And that's where this whole idea comes from. It's this treadmill workout that I want to talk about because there's a little ritual I picked up that I still implement to this day. And it was simple. At the very end of my workout or my run, I would always add 22 seconds. my lucky number twice, two and two. So, for example, if I told myself, you know, the workout's going to be, you know, three pyramids or 30 minutes, I would stop running at 30 minutes in 22 seconds.

And if I told myself it was going to be an hour, I'd stop at one hour in 22 seconds. Always tacking on that 22, and I don't really remember the first time I started doing it or even why. But like so many things, that 22-second period, organically became a habit. sort of evolved to take on a life of its own,

and would come to symbolize for me a little challenge. The idea that the end is never really the end. And no matter how tired I was or how bad I wanted to stop, especially when you can see that finish line in reach, I could always squeeze out a little more. But there's always something extra to give. And you could certainly go down that, 22 second rabbit hole, right?

Just 22 more seconds. And then you finish that and you realize you can do just 22 more and just 22 more. It's like this never-ending spotlight into how incredible we are as humans. That our stopping points almost always are constructed. Rarely is there not an extra 22 seconds or 22-somethings we can endure. And not only that. I think there's a case to be made that our growth occurs in that final push. There's a ton of value, you know, hidden away in there.

The stretching of the mind and body. The last rep that breaks down the muscle. The last few seconds of that run that forced the lungs to work their hardest. Exhausting that last bit of energy and focus, you know, studying for an exam. Maybe that's where you confirm your comprehension and understanding of the subject matter. It's like when we are pushing ourselves, just outside the limits we drew up, we are simultaneously expanding those limits. And so over the years, I've adopted that mentality.

And I look at myself in the mirror now and I can see it. I'm not the same person I was a decade ago. Those little decisions to add on 22 seconds, they stack up, and they stack up in a unique way. Because it's not necessarily about the time. It's not the same benefit that, say, an hour every morning at the gym would bring. You know, obviously that would be incredibly valuable, but in a different way, I'm talking about mentally, an armor that we come to wear, an identity that gets materialized. It's how you see yourself and how you see the world.

You understand how manufactured our parameters are. And I get it. We have to stop somewhere, sure. But it's an acknowledgement that those somewheres are fiction. They are arbitrary. You weren't made to exist within them, but to stretch them, to recreate them. And that's an endeavor that, is always uncomfortable.

But as far as I can tell, always worth it. The strength to go a little bit further than initially intended or designed is what will place you in a league of your own. And that's where I wanted to start by bringing attention to the idea that there's always an extra 22 seconds and you are always capable of obtaining it.

That is yours. whether you choose to see it or not, it's an option, it's always an option, which sort of connects us to my next thought. If I know that's who I am, someone that fights for that 22 seconds, if I know that's what I'm capable of, and that's what lights me up, what about those times in my life when I had no desire to reach for the extra 22? Because sitting here I can think of plenty. I can think of times when there was dissonance between my identity and my actions. Here's a quick story.

This was a shift in my life, and my understanding of reaching for that little bit more. When people ask me about my process, right, what I'm building or where I see myself in X number of years, I tell them I'm playing the long game, right? Like I'll sacrifice some short-term wins now to continue forward with a plan that I believe wholeheartedly

will transform from linear to exponential, right? It's like Gary V's motto. You know, you're young, you have time. And impact is not about succeeding at 34, it's about flourishing at 45 and 55 and 65 and 65 and 75. Like, that's fun to me. That's the exciting game to play. And it's methodical.

The challenge is, you know, as you're locked into this big picture plan, you have to pass a lot of shiny objects along the way. A lot of, hey, look at them over there. Maybe I should be doing that too. That worked for her. Will it work for me? Right? Sometimes you forget to trust yourself and stay the course.

And so a few years ago, I felt this pressure to pivot, to adjust focus. I'd been talking with some mentors of mine who were very successful in their individual fields and passions. And I thought, hey, you know what, it's time for me to start focusing less on the craft and more on monetizing the craft, right? The De Nero side of things, which is great and it's healthy,

but here's the catch. As long as you're doing it in a way that aligns with who you are. And so a few months go by, and I found myself living in this overly-sized and priced condo on the beach that I was going to use to impress clients, you know, making products that didn't excite me,

talking to people I didn't really want to be talking to, living a life that was not my own, I'd lost myself, right? My love is storytelling. It's capturing life seemingly overlooked secrets. That's what I get excited about in the morning. That's the value I want to share with the world. And look, money is important.

It's necessary. It's freedom. But for me, it can't be about the money or I lose the drive. Right? And here's the point I'm making where it all comes together. What I found is that when you're a stranger in your own body, there's almost no incentive to push for that little extra. It's like who cares about fighting for 22 seconds.

I'm so misaligned. I don't even want to be here. That is the red flag. That's the indicator that it's time to adjust. Because if I'm someone who wants more, who pursues and acquires more, and I don't feel the urge to do so, you know, it's time to change.

And I broke the lease, put everything I had in a car, went on a little three-month excurs. and realigned. And if I'm not willing to suffer through that little extra, to go above and beyond, it's not for me. And so that's a big example, but it obviously manifests in smaller ways as well. Yes, you are someone who can and will chase down the beauty in life,

who will transform that little extra into something meaningful, but you also have to position yourself and the world around you to make it possible. And when you don't feel that hunger inside, and this is the point you need to understand, it's not you, it's not broken hardware, it's not that you innately lack drive or confidence, it's that you need to rearrange this scenario, you need to find alignment. Because I promise you if you want something enough, you'll be willing to fight for it, to hurt for it, to break boundaries for it. But you must first make sure that you're pointed at something you want, something that moves you. And here's the part where I remind you of all those things you've already overcome in your life. Of all the times you thought your tank was empty, but you found a way. all the times you were hurting but kept moving,

all the times you were broken, but put yourself back together, we are not told in school or at work how resilient we are. We're not told that we often stop thousands of 22-second period short. We aren't told that we're living at a 30% capacity, operating at a fraction of our potential. We don't even realize the little miracles we've created along the way. A strong purpose and a willingness to stretch yourself as you pursue it will change your life. And that's not hyperbole. That is fact.

If you want what you've never had, then push yourself further than you've ever gone. And we're talking little stressors, expanding one step at a time. until you eventually look over your shoulder and see the miles you've traveled. Until you look at your reflection and see the evolution that has occurred. It was never just 22 seconds. It was a consistent and sustained shot at the walls you placed around yourself for the opportunity to see them crumble. That morning, as I looked out the window,

I could feel my increased heart rate, a sense of both excitement and anxiety that you can only really understand if you've lived it. I was worried about what people might think, what I might lose, what life might have in store for me, because that was all I knew to focus on. I'd programmed myself to do one thing, worry. And when your one thing is worrying, it's inevitable that you see life through a lens of scarcity. Your setting is on maintain, meaning you protect the little you have as opposed to seeking more. You play defense to keep the world out as opposed to the offense required to bring the world in, so that it may be reshaped. That morning, cold, wet, gray, I was numb.

But deep down, completely oblivious to me, there was a little fire too small to recognize. A spark of courage in its infancy. See at that moment, if someone asked me, Can you even be scared and courageous at the same time? I would have said those two words do not go together. Right? We're talking night and day, fire and water black and white.

But time's job is to reveal, and it has shown that there is no courage without fear. There is no fire, no matter how bright or powerful, that doesn't by default bring about those mysterious shapes dancing in the shadows. If you want fire, great.

But you must learn to dance with what hides in the periphery. You must learn to go where your impulse begs you not to. And so that morning, I went to dance with my demons. What if the one

thing holding you back in your life was you. And look, I know the world is a complex, multivariable, unfair, sometimes even cryptic place. I've never said anything to the contrary. But what humans do so well, sometimes for good and sometimes to our detriment, is see life through stories, ideas. Whether you know it or or not you are playing by a set of rules. Right now, as you take this in, you have defined a set of parameters and deemed them acceptable.

Decided they are what you deserve. You've allowed for yourself a certain level of growth, a certain amount of happiness, a certain amount of time to do what you love, a certain expectation around the role of work in your life, a certain window of increase, you've identified as reasonable overall a certain feeling you get when you look in the mirror. And my objective is not to tell you that any of the above is good or bad.

It's to remind you that they are all stories. Our current state is not etched in stone. It's clumsily drawn on a dry erase board. Clumsily, because how could we know everything? We learn along the way in a dry erase board because there's never a moment in time in which you cannot begin again. Think about that. Never. Good, bad, or in between, there is never a situation from which you can't emerge as something different.

from which you can't choose to take a different path, change the narrative around you, your relationships, your job, your goals. But like the elephant tied to the chair with the rope, one must learn that it is not the chair holding them back, but their perception, their understanding of a supposed role in life. So as I drove away, away that morning.

I wasn't leaving a physical place, but a mental constraint. Turning my back on a manufactured idea about who I was and what life would allow. Not in a snap. No, not all at once, but an adventure that would begin pulling back the curtains one by one

on all that I'd walked right by. See, the first step to getting more is understanding you've been accepting less. That is where new roads present themselves, and it is that new road that I want for you. That understanding that so much will be given to those with the courage to ask. So as you stand now, examine what you've been asking of life. My hunch is that perhaps it's not enough. Perhaps there's more. Perhaps a new chapter is waiting to begin,

and right now is when that first page gets turned. Joseph Campbell says that the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. Why? Because to face the dancing shadows is to gain power, over them. It shows our mind that reality is far less scary than our perception of reality, that no chain or lock or wall can be more debilitating than the mental constraints we create by ourselves in our heads. It shows that the man guarding the door can just as easily be the one who unlocks it. And so what better a time than now,

to turn that key, to step out and confront what was once nothing more than a vast emptiness. Jump into the cold water of opportunity that shocks us at first, creates pins and needles and discomfort, but ultimately provides a chance to acclimate to and navigate a foreign world. You, you just need to jump and not a mountain but a foot. Enough to start earning that confidence, creating that self-trust, believing in yourself. So drive away. To the understanding that there is always another level if you want it. To the belief that nothing is outside the realm of possibility,

boundaries can be redrawn. To the idea that no one tells you who you are or what you're capable of, the world doesn't give orders, it reacts to who you decide to be, to the awareness that possible victories always outweigh in magnitude the possible defeat. To the realization that who you were yesterday is in no way related to who you can be tomorrow, all chapters end, and you decide when that happens. Everything else belongs in the rear view. Success is knowing this. It's believing it, holding on when others would let go, be reassured by the incremental nature of what's ahead.

Zero miracles, just the courage to begin, just push the ball down the hill. Give life a chance to help you create momentum. No more thinking, worrying, procrastinating, just go. It's incredible how fast things change when we grant ourselves that freedom, when we see all of the world is open to us. But will you open your mind to that opportunity? I've said this before, and I'll say it again, Nothing is sure in life, but you are guaranteed to lose if you don't go.

It's to let falsehoods and debilitating stories guide your way. So stop letting these narratives tell you who you are and create reality with your feet. Why? Because you can. Because you were meant for more, and because more starts. part of my morning routine every day is to listen to the commencement speech, Admiral McRaven gave at the University of Texas, where he's talking about 10 lessons that he learned during his time as a Navy SEAL going through Bud's training. And he positions them in a way that will really help anybody through life if they implement these concepts. It's an incredible speech in my favorite lesson of the 10 is around what he calls the sugar cookie. And I want to delve

into it a little deeper because it's such a perfect metaphor. It's so relatable. And so for a quick overview, basically during buds, all the attendees were called to line up for uniform inspection. And the instructors would walk by and check out their uniforms. They had to be perfect, right? As McRaven says uniform press, belt buckle shiny, no smudges on the shoes. But the point of the exercise that a lot of people really didn't understand is that the uniforms were never going to be good enough. The inspectors or instructors would always find something wrong. And the punishment was to go run down into the water with your clothes on, get soaking wet, then roll around in the sand, and, you know, it sticks to you all day. That's why they call it

a sugar cookie. And what he says is, you were never going to succeed. The perfect uniform was impossible. The instructors wouldn't allow it. But the interesting thing is that some people simply couldn't handle that idea. They didn't understand that no matter how well you prepare or perform, sometimes you're going to end up a sugar cookie. That is life. It's such a power. It's such a It's a life lesson that must be understood before someone can effectively make their way in the world. The idea that life simply isn't fair. And those who refuse to accept that are pulled into this void of projecting out and looking to assign blame as opposed to continuing a march forward and reshaping the odds, right?

A tough lesson to learn. It's tough to work and work and work and not get that immediate validation you hope for. It's tough that life drops obstacles before us that we weren't prepared for and don't feel equipped to take on. It's tough when people around you get rewarded or promoted or acknowledged for doing the same or less than you. And if you let it, it will eat you up. It will taint your view of the world. It can close the door to your own self-improvement and open it up for comparing, contrasting, projecting, blaming toxicity. You know, it really hit home for me when McRaven says, look, some people just couldn't understand that no matter what they did, they were going to be a sugar cookie. They couldn't rise above the apparent unfairness.

They didn't realize that they were being prepared for the reality of life. Not the gentle, predictable, fair world we often feel is owed to us. So the ones who made it out of the class, well, they took their hits, they dealt with their discomfort. They learned to expect more out of themselves. There simply was no room for the victim mentality there. Those who wouldn't help themselves, they got weeded out, left behind. It really is the perfect metaphor for life. And as far as I'm concerned, the only way to ensure defeat

is to divert responsibility to the outside world. The only way to remain powerless is to feel bad for yourself, to feel angry that life isn't what it is in the movies. Again, hard to hear. In a perfect world, hard work's always rewarded. rewarded. The correct actions always have positive consequences, but that's not always reflective of reality. As the saying goes, it's not your fault where you start or when things you can't control present themselves and make your life challenging, you didn't choose that hand, not your fault. But guess what?

Where you go from here is your responsibility. It is your responsibility to move beyond the cosmic injustice you can do nothing about and create a better situation, a better outcome, a better world. How many times in life do we find ourselves looking in the mirror? I was saying, hey, I did everything I was supposed to do. Why am I being punished? Why is this happening to me? Why did I take that L? On paper, every box was checked.

I've asked the question. We've all asked the question. And every time we do, we're placed at a crossroads of sorts. Do we go one way? Let it derail us. distort our worldview, do we let it alter how we perceive ourselves? Or do we go the other way? Do we acknowledge that life is a marriage of highs and lows? And to make something of it, we shouldn't feel slighted by the challenges, but accept them. Let them make us better.

I've learned this again and again. I learned this after I spent four months on a project in 2014 that essentially bombed. And it was the first time in my life that I felt that. It's like how. I put everything into this. How could I get nothing back? Well, it turns out I got the world back. I just didn't see it at the time. I learned one of the most powerful lessons to learn. The universe is indifferent to your agenda.

All it does is present an obstacle course in front of you and allows you to navigate as you see fit. Will you focus on the negative? Will you have resentment towards life's injustices? Because a lot of people do. A lot of people can't get past it, so they hide from the struggle that would ultimately become their strength. And see, I'd much rather work to be the type of person who finds the positive, who carries on,

who doesn't take hardship personal because it's not a personal thing. In fact, let's remove the emotion from it altogether. Let's focus on getting through. As a good friend of mine says, if you're on a hiking trail and you get bitten by a snake, are you going to chase the snake into the woods so you can kill it? and get your vengeance? Were you going to go to the hospital and get the medical help you need? Are you going to focus on what's necessary for your betterment to move on, to grow?

Every time you accept responsibility for a situation, every time you point at yourself as the one who can make something good happen, you move forward. You stack the odds in your favor. You position yourself for something bigger and better, and it doesn't mean it will happen overnight, or even that you are entitled to an outcome. But those who remain empowered

through life's trials and tribulations, they usually find a way. Not because they deserved it, but because they simply did not stop. They did not waste time blaming the universe and instead created something of value. They got over being that metaphorical sugar cookie and started thinking about the big,

picture. They accepted the defeats and they learned. They made a pact with the face looking back at them in the mirror that sometimes we don't get the ideal hand, but it will always be up to you how to play it. There is always a win, always a positive, and to remember that is to create a world of your making. Looking back and understanding what you might have done to, differently is a source of strength. Awareness is a currency of sorts. But being sorry for yesterday, dwelling on the days gone by, that is a waste of time. See, those feelings of discontent, the emotions that rise to the surface as our minds sort

through that catalog of regret, you know, the emotions that try and pull you back down into the very moment in which they occurred. If you let them lead you by the hand back into a manufactured hell, they will. And down you will go reliving an expired pain that you can neither prevent nor do anything about. After all, it is the past. But alternatively, if we can do one of the hardest things for humans to do, which is depersonalize the occurrence,

remove the emotion, and find the value you stand face to face with an advantage in life that is exponential. Not only are you refusing to be defined or tortured by yesterday, but you're creating a framework by which you can actually use that pain to make a better right now. You're acknowledging that your mistakes are not indicative of a current reflection in the mirror. They're not metal bars keeping you closed in.

They're opportunities in disguise. A friend of mine once told me, from our pain comes our purpose. From our despair comes our hope. It's from the times we got it oh, so completely wrong, that we can now arm ourselves with the ability to get it right, to be better and faster and stronger and wiser. The reality, or life in the big city, as this saying goes,

is having to fall in order to rise again. Because if nothing falls, there are no ashes from which to rebuild. We change when we've lost. We evolve when we're cornered. We become more when life shakes our world. There's power in this suffering. That is, if you choose to find it. And that's always a decision that's ours to make.

Again, those same memories that can pull you down if you let them can also be used to elevate yourself. Higher than you've ever been. There's just saying that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it. And when you think about it, it's obvious. Because knowledge is only as powerful as our willingness to put that knowledge to work. Yesterday's pain, its lessons, can be the very reason you transform, evolve to a higher version of yourself,

but that's only if you stop using those lessons as an attack on your self-esteem and start seeing them as the gateway to tomorrow. Otherwise, they'll remain that ball and chain around your ankle. Is the mistake that cost you your business, Maybe the inaction that fractured a relationship, a swing and miss that hurt your pride somewhere along the way. Are they going to remain sources of pain in your mind, mental images or reflections of where you fell short? Are they going to fuel the comeback, the sequel? When we fall, we're given one of life's greatest gifts, a part two.

Armed with the knowledge we otherwise would never have had. armed with an understanding that with the failures comes the strength. As I've grown, I've placed more and more emphasis on thinking. How do I perceive myself? Because when that slips, life is never too far behind. But when you capture and maintain a healthy perspective, things seem to improve along with it. Not because thinking makes it so,

but because how we think prompts how we act and how we act changes our lives. It's that simple. So the question, okay, that happened. Now what does it mean to you will always be crucial? What are you going to do about it now? Will always be imperative. And if you look, you'll find that opportunity everywhere. I was thinking recently about all the books I've read, all the podcasts I consume, and there are a ton, right?

But how valuable is that information if I don't act? How much could any of it mean if it's consumed and then forgotten? A memory with an image and a title. I'd be better off reading one good book a year, listening to one podcast and injecting that wisdom into my life immediately, acting on it. using it to manufacture momentum, right? If the acting is more important than the knowing, why have I not placed greater emphasis on the action? Like 90% more emphasis.

And I think that's a question we should all be asked. And so let's move from the book example back to the thinking, reminiscing about our mistakes, the times we let ourselves down. What are our memories, if not just little novels where we as the main characters embark upon the hero's journey. Warriors call to something greater, leaving a previous world, facing our demons, learning about ourselves along the way, perhaps cut short, left without a conclusion, only in need of an ending. And these painful experiences are essentially us walking around with novels unfinished in our hands. In our

heads, we've done the work, we've learned the lessons, endured the pain. And rather than continuing to revisit that discomfort of the moment, that stopping point, rather than dwelling on how we shut the book after the conflict occurred, let's open it back up and integrate that value, that lesson into the present. Let's grow from it. Let's evolve because of it. That's what's so beautiful, so exciting about the future. It hasn't happened yet. It's in your control. You're painting that picture now in real time, and so how convenient that you fell yesterday. Now you have an opportunity to be stronger today. And how incredible that you learned what actions or inaction was not in line with the person you want to be.

Now you have an opportunity to root all that out. And how beautiful that you felt the pain of quitting, of stopping short, of throwing the towel. Now, as you push forward into that great unknown, you have a reminder, a benchmark to compare with the difficulty of the present moment. You can silence the voice in your head begging you to slow down because you now know what the alternative looks like. To put it simply, you are not the same person you were yesterday. Specifically because of what you've been through, you have those mistakes to thank for the meaningful road you will travel. And let that be the expectation. We don't get through life without mistakes.

There is no perfect journey. And the ones who move courageously into the future know that more than anyone. Life pushes back. The world has a say, and sometimes that means we must be humbled along the way. It means we swing and miss. It means plans fall apart. But you will prevail. maybe not immediately, but eventually

because you perceive the adversity as merely a cost of admission, specifically because you don't let it run loops in your mind. Rather, you extract the value and transform it into momentum. You are not your past. You are what you decide to make of your past.