Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - YOU OWE YOU | Best Motivational Speeches 2022 | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

"You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be" - Anonymous

We sat around in a circle on a beautiful fall morning to build dream catchers. Something, to be honest, I never saw myself doing in a million lifetimes. The feathers and strings and beads and glue stretched out on a blanket in the middle of the circle. As we built, we took what we needed piece by piece. And it's safe to say, mine was far and away. the least, let's say, aesthetically pleasing of the group. Black and bright yellow string wrapped around the top, above which an assortment of random beads

sort of dangled carelessly below. It wasn't the most beautiful dream catcher ever made, but it was mine. After a quick Google search, I learned that some Native Americans believe that the air at night is filled with dreams, both good and bad and that the purpose of the dream catcher is to protect from the bad ones, the nightmares, and the evil spirits. Interesting, I thought, putting it away, expecting that to be that and life

to move on. But a few days later on the flight home, I got up mid-flight to grab a charger out of my carry-on overhead. And in the same side pouch was, you guessed it, that little black yellow dream catcher. One of the dangled strings had snapped. My sloppy craftsmanship already was causing the top to loosen up. But something compelled me to grab it, along with my charger, and I sat back down. I had 8.5 hours to kill, put my chair back and closed my eyes. The previous week had been an important one. A complete break from, you know, my typical day-to-day routine. and probably more important, some forced introspection. I like to think of the trip as briefly leaving the heart of a city,

which when you're in a city, you obviously know you're there, but you can't really grasp the magnitude and scope of the place. Not until you leave it and see it from the outside. The gorgeous skyline with the lights and buildings that extend into the clouds, A picture you only get from a distance. That skyline from five miles away just doesn't feel like it could be the same place you live in. You navigate every day street by street with carhorns and cafes and people talking, coming and going. It just kind of flips life upside down for you.

Presents new perspectives and questions, and I felt like that's what I'd done. Steps outside that metaphorical city. And I had picked up a solid handful of new questions. There were plenty of firsts for me. Met some incredible people, tried new things, went new places, explored new foods. All made me realize that my worldview had slowly over time, as tends to happen when unchecked, collapsed in on itself. That there was so much more, so much hope and opportunity, so much left.

to the extent that the flight back didn't feel like the end of a trip. It felt like the beginning of something new. Like I wasn't leaving these things. I was taking them with me. But here's the deal. Beginning only matter if you make them matter. Things only change when you make them change. When I was in junior high, one of my teachers would sometimes joke that

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Half serious, but the point is important. It's not what we intend to do. It's what we breathe life into. It's what we allow to take shape. Let's say that little dream catcher in my hand was a magical entity that sucked out of the sky

all the bad dreams and nightmares and left me with only the good stuff. Let's say it was the gateway to all that was powerful, meaningful, and important, because removing what I don't want is critical. But what I'm then left with is mere opportunity, not guarantee. Dreams are only potential, and life is only what we make it. So growth must be a team effort between me and this little black and yellow defender of worlds, watchmen of the night.

A duo. And we agreed. It reminds me of what truly matters and I show it that I'm not afraid to make something of what remains. Of those ideals granted passage to the space behind my eyes. I have to live up to my end of the bargain. And sure, it will be messy at times. Shaky, sloppy, ungraceful. But that isn't a problem. It's par for the court. Plus my lack of elegance will get no sympathy from my unraveling black and yellow ball of string and disordered beads. The goal is not perfection. It's organized chaos. It's a commitment to the unknown to taking the pieces and building something with them even when we don't understand what it will become. And as the pilot's voice interrupted my sleep through the inner calm,

letting us know to prepare for landing, I realized the magic of where I'd just been and how it would evolve into the road ahead. That when we know in our hearts, life is pointing us a certain direction, when we've separated the good dreams from the bad, we are halfway there. Now we must have the courage to realize what's possible. to be strong enough to stand up when we have something to say, to embrace what calls to us

to explore where our paths may lead, to get up and dance when the music plays, to stop holding back tears when they must fall, to smile when our hearts intend, to leave the old stories and narratives behind and to step beyond our egos and towards our authenticity. This is how we make sure that the dream catchers work is not in vain. It's how we make the most of this gift we've been provided. And so we sat in a circle on a beautiful fall morning to build dream catchers. Maybe not to collect the bad dreams, but to remind ourselves that it was okay, no, necessary, no, everything to let ourselves make the good dreams reality. I woke up last night and I remembered my debt to you.

Being that I stand by the promises that I make, I jumped out of bed, and I walked over to my desk, I turned on a light, and I began writing. At a minimum to explain myself, but at best case scenario, to provide some reassurance. That every storm ends, that nothing is forever, and that someday, without question, I'll make you proud. See, things haven't been the easiest lately, and it's funny. Sometimes things seem so intuitive. Sometimes they make so much sense.

And then sometimes it feels like you open up a novel right in the middle and it's in a language you can't read. Life feels more complex than it really is, and I feel smaller than I really am, but don't be concerned. I've fought my way through worse. I promise you you'll be satisfied with the result. And yeah, you might have noticed that sometimes I,

face the obstacle of juggling two sets of standards, you know, two definitions of success, mine in the world. What I love and what matters to me versus what will increase my status, my standing in society. And honestly, it pulls me in two different directions sometimes. Makes me think back to years past and that discomfort of experience, you know, standing on an empty foundation. But believing someday something meaningful would stand there. Realizing that when you put your head down and when you block out the noise, you can finally hear the most powerful voice of all your own. That's why you take L's in the short term to acquire meaning in the long term. I've found that courage before. And I'll find it again any second now. Don't

Don't you worry? Sure. You might have seen that every once in a while I forget about life's abundance. I mean, I just do. I know it's true, but it feels sometimes like the world pushes me to forget. You know, I start comparing myself to other people and I start thinking about what I could lose, what people might say, about what could go wrong. And it's like, sure, I know I'm the gatekeeper to my own mind. I understand that. In fact, I cherish the idea. But I guess sometimes doubt catches the that gatekeeper napping and slips through. I always catch him eventually, though. I've had doubts before, and really all I did was keep moving by them.

Kind of like that time I went snorkeling in Key Largo, you had to make your way through this jellyfish field to see an underwater statue. My first thought was, this is crazy. But then you move in and you realize they just exist. They don't have control or an agenda. And if you find the courage, they become meaningless. You can float right by them.

So don't worry, I'll swim through, and you'll see me on the other end. And I will catch that view, not for Facebook or for Instagram. Because in a way, I owe it to myself and I owe it to you. I didn't make these promises to run when things got challenging. because they meant something. And yeah, from the outside in, things are not perfect. I get that. I understand.

But if you just hang tight, if you just remember that I've been there before, I've climbed out, I've come back. In fact, the deeper the valley and the darker the night, the clearer the answer always becomes when I emerge. And it may be a journey, but however long it takes, I've gotten there. And I have to admit, yeah, it feels funny writing a letter to myself, but I need you now more than ever. You've always been my toughest critic, and I appreciate that, but now I need you to be my biggest fan.

To remind me that life can be confusing and seemingly contradictory, uncertain, and even chaotic. But that doesn't mean I'm not right where I need to be, right where we need to be. And if you'll just believe in me, if you'll hop along for this ride, you'll see that as sure as I'm sitting here writing to you now, I will make you proud. Yesterday I drove out a little bit into North Carolina, parked the car, found a path, and went on a long hike. To take in some scenery, think about life holistically, kind of contemplate where I'd go from here and why it matters. Which is always funny to think about, right? The idea of having to carve out time amidst our frantic and often chaotic journey to get somewhere,

to, well, define where somewhere is. But I think about that a lot. Our days consist of so much running around that I can easily forget what even my calculated decisions add up to. Why? It's a simple enough question. Perhaps one I could ask more. Why?

What's with this whole get comfortable with discomfort thing? Why do I place so much emphasis on the quote unquote path less traveled? Which is a term that one of my buddies was recently given me a hard time about using in all my speeches, right? It must mean something to me. It's got me here, but is here better than over there? After all, it's not out of the realm of possibility that I'm the one. that I'm the one who's missing the mark. And it's okay to examine that possibility.

In fact, that's why I'm here. And I bounced this around in my head as I made my way up the trail and noticed as I looked around, everything just felt perfect. Have you ever had one of those moments where it just seems surreal? The morning was incredible.

I loved the sound of the earth under my feet as I took each step, the chirping of the bird. in the early morning, the sun making its way through the trees, and I thought it's amazing that you can live 20 minutes from this feeling and just never experience it. I guess proof that a decision did not go, to do nothing, is still very much a decision.

And in this case, would have been the less desirable one. I'm glad I went. My phone was in my backpack, and for the first time in a while, I didn't even think about it. My mind was stimulated. My senses were taking in something new, something different, something not my studio or laptop or social media analytics pages. In fact, all that stuff felt kind of trivial now that I was removed from it.

And I wondered, why don't I do this more? I thought popped into my head earlier that morning. I thought, hey, that's a cool idea. I just had to get through that initial pushback. The hesitancy of, well, what's the point? What's the desired outcome of a hike? And after all, this little jaunt, you're just going to distract you from your work and your progress.

But at that moment, I think you have to just shut out reason for a second. You have to remind yourself that there's value, period. Otherwise, we open the door for rationalizing, we talk ourselves out of some of life's beautiful secrets. Sometimes you have to just go. And as I made my way down this trail further and further, I started to feel better. I felt reassured. Like I had something that I otherwise wouldn't have had, something that's my own.

And maybe that is it. Maybe that alone is the reason for everything. To collect those incredible things large and small that we might not have had. After all, isn't life just an accumulation of memories, of experiences that are spread out like a choose-your-ending children's book? And with so much control over the outcome, I think that matter deserves my attention. In order to acquire the good stuff,

Whether it's in a different location or context or time in my life, I still learn again and again that to get that we have to leave some things behind. And that's the essence of life. You usually get out what you put in. And I think about that a lot. I think about the forks in the road I've come across, those same ones, the life-altering decisions. I guess it's only human.

You know, walking away from that promising career that I spent my whole life building towards. Every once in a while, sure, I miss the security. Leaving this city and the people that made my life what it was, it just haunts me from time to time, trading permanence and structure, for the freedom to condense my life's work into a laptop and take it anywhere in the world, that empowerment can be lonely, right? And I guess I can't help that in the midst of those situations, the easy decision always feels like the wrong one.

I've just been pulled by the upside. I gravitate towards this grandiose version of what life could be on the mark that I hope to make. And to me, the scariest thing has always been not having the courage to see more, to explore. The phrase, what if has always been my adversary, the monster in the closet, and it's a costly one to slay. But life is both suffering.

and infinite beauty. And it's like you have to choose where you're going to endure pain and why that matters so that you can climb the mountain that means everything to you. That makes life worth it. In other words, meaningful discomfort now or painful regret later.

And I strongly believe that life is about pursuing something meaningful. And even the triviality of a hike wants to remind me of this truth. I could be at home playing guitar, watching Netflix. Relaxing. I mean, that would have been easier. But there's only one way to catch that sunrise over the trees. And that way is not Netflix.

All those beautiful views, they require an output of energy to reach them. They come with fear of something going wrong. In doubt that perhaps the turn you made wasn't the best one, and that's okay. But I believe that happiness to be truly fulfilled requires trade-offs. And with each step, it becomes easier and easier to understand. For the gym rat, it's the discipline and the belief, knowing that muscles break down so that they can be built up. For the relationship to flourish, it's overcoming disagreement,

accommodating the needs of that person that you love, so that they can be the last thing you see before you follow. For the free spirit, it's walking away from what you know in pursuit of something that excites and invigorates, even if you're not entirely sure what it means. It's about enduring one so that you can collect the other. What you choose to endure and what you choose to collect is up to you, but that's what makes life such a beautiful ride. A roller coaster taking you through lows to reach highs into darkness to see how life changing the light is when it pushes its way through. Little decisions that become the collage that explodes off the paper when you step back and look. That's what you get back when you make a point to see more.

That's why my love affair with the trivial and the mundane lights my path. It's not just a little thing. It's a microcosm of my everything. It's my saying yes to the opportunity that we work so hard to ignore in an effort to avoid inconvenience. But a life worth living is not always convenient. You could even argue at times, it should be inconvenient. Because the higher the climb, the more we give of ourselves, the more precious the world looks from the top down.

And the challenging times, the things we sacrifice and leave behind, they're not so much a part of the picture as the paint on your palate. That in breaking down, you can now recreate using your own ideals, metrics, and guidelines, a world that you now have the ability to transform. That's why life to me is nothing more than color, decisions, nothing more than paint, steps, nothing more than brush strokes, and life. Well, life is nothing and everything. Which, as the morning breeze reminds me, is a decision that is entirely my own. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year?

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you have momentum and it'll be true when you're down on your luck doing everything in your power to create momentum. That saying is your future begins now. Hey on the surface might not seem like much. Sure my future starts now. I know that. Everyone knows that. Well if that's true, If everyone does in fact know that, why do we spend so much time stuck, reliving our past, unable to break free? Why do we remain terrified to change? Why do we feel such a connection to who we were, how others saw us? Why must we remain loyal to the character we've been playing in our mental autobiographies?

See, here's the thing about the past and the future. One is fixed, can't be changed, And the other, well, it's waiting for you to tell it what it is. One is expired time. One is planned to be determined. And it's interesting how we continue to conflate the time. Epictetus has said that the more things we value outside of our control, the less control we have. Well, I'm going to be the messenger here relaying the precious truth that yesterday is in fact out of our control.

What can be controlled is where we go from here, the next step. Meaning today is not your failures. It's where you take those lessons. It's not your mistakes, but it's what the stronger you can now endure because of them. It's not the dreams you let slip away, but where your pursuit might take you now. And yeah, yesterday certainly contributes. to your outlook, as all information does. It's value considered, its impact assessed.

It guides you, but it's not you. And that difference is astronomical. There's a question about the role the past plays in our lives. It has to mean something, right? Your past is, in many ways, your story. It's why you think the way you do. It's contributed to your understanding of the world. It will always be a part of you, and I believe that.

But I also believe the past. is a story. And just like reading one chapter in a book simply sets the stage for the next one without controlling its direction, so does every day that has led you up to now. Life gives us the tools to experience, to grow, learn, and then shed that

which does not coincide with what's important. Your failures are not you. But they are, precious and that they push you towards what you'd like to be. See, you can experience something and not be that thing. As Kirkagard says, if you label me, you negate me. If you proclaim me to be X, you're essentially stealing from me the infinite possibility that is the future.

Yesterday has nothing to do with what I can become. And so taking it a step further, never mind being labeled, by someone else? How could you label yourself and see it as anything but self-sabotage? See, you're never defined by your past, but always learning from it. It's not who you are. It's the cheat codes for what you can be. Without that winding road of misfortune and mistakes, the incredible expansion we long for doesn't materialize. Imagine if everyone who ever felt down in life felt like a loser who temporarily lost hope. Imagine if they looked in the mirror and said,

okay, this is who I am now. There would be no triumph in the world because anything meaningful requires the resiliency to map our way from the hell that was our darkest moments to what will become our proudest moments. Destiny, destiny, destiny means that you separate the finite from the infinite.

What you used to call yourself has prepared you to move towards the horizon. But what you used to call yourself is also as irrelevant now as those seconds that you watch tick away. Seconds that maybe you're not proud of. Seconds that perhaps taught you about the world. Seconds that gave you a glimpse of what's possible. Unveiled the happiest of times. all of it. In its own unique way, it brought value, but none of it is your future. Why? Because back to that beautiful, all-powerful sentence, your future begins now. Your destiny is awaiting its marching

orders, and all you have to decide as you stand today is where that ship will sail. It's interesting to think about life as a journey, as in the places you've gone, the twists and turns that materialize, the people that have entered and left your world, the days that one by one emerged and retreated. I took a walk this morning, I was thinking about all the steps that brought me to this point, the decisions I made or didn't make, the actions that essentially bridged then and now.

It's quite an adventure we're on. And what I realized on this particular walk was that throughout my story, some of my biggest shifts, my greatest transformation, even the happiest moments of my life, they were born from questions that I asked myself. Some incredibly obvious. Questions that maybe I just never asked.

Others, well, they required reworking common narratives. But they were all questions that caused me to reflect on my life and my situation and allow me to be more, to focus on the right things and leave all that other stuff behind. So I figured I'd share a few of those questions today, what they meant for me,

and how hopefully they can help you along the same lines. So question number one, what do I have to live? I learned early on that our tendency is to want to protect what we have. Routine is safe and safety is survival. Whether it's trying something different, going somewhere new, leaving something behind, very few decisions in life can't be reversed. Very few decisions are forever.

Yet we often stay in situations we aren't happy with because we fear the unknown so greatly greatly that it seems not worth it. And this isn't a character flaw, it's instinct. But it can be rewired and reworked. Because danger isn't in making mistakes. Danger is in never making them and becoming a fraction of what you might have been. So that's question number one. What do you have to lose?

Question number two, am I happy? Why is this on the list? because sometimes I'd forget that it's okay to simply do what makes me happy, what I enjoy. I don't have to do anything. I get to live the way I want to live. I think we too often let happiness take a back seat while we pursue things that we feel a sense of obligation to pursue. And I'm not saying happy all the time is a thing. I've talked about that before, I've made videos about it.

Life is absolutely peaks and valleys and navigating between them. But I do think happiness should be what we aim for. It should be our foundation and closely tied to our sense of purpose because, well, you don't get a second life. So it's important to make sure you enjoy this one and frequently ask yourself if where you are in life makes you happy. Number three, how can I get there? Now the nuance here, the difference is in the word how

at the beginning of the question. Think about that. Think about the difference between can I get there and how can I get there? I learned this in college and it truly changed my perspective. You know, when you start any journey knowing that the destination will be reached, when there is no question,

when you're sure of yourself. The little decisions are no longer about whether to turn back or whether it's worth it. There is no can I, but it's in the how, it's the adjustments. What do I need to change? What have I learned that I can implement? What is everyone else doing or not doing that I can do?

It's not whether your goal exists because it does. The question, number one, four, what can I remove? Why? Because our tendency when we feel stuck or overwhelmed or lost or unsure is to look to acquire solutions, right? It's like, what can I add that I don't have? What can I obtain that will fill some void or gap? And sure, you know, maybe sometimes that's the case, but in my experience, far more common is the need to eliminate what doesn't serve you. It's not to add, but to remove. It's to simplify. Identify what matters and just remove the rest. It's such a nice feeling to have line of sight to a particular goal and a foundation in place

that allows you to move towards it, eliminating the activities that are meaningless. And that's, you know, the people that hold you back, the places that don't coincide with who you want to be. It's not helping you. it's hurting you. So, what can you remove? Number five, have I been scared recently? And those of you who have been listening to me for a while, you know I'm big on this one.

If you haven't been in a situation recently where you've been nervous or uneasy or unsure, then you probably aren't growing. And all of my life-changing moments, they made me uneasy at the time. They made me question myself. They weren't simple for me. From the beginning of my keynote speaking career to pushing creative boundaries, to having

the courage to grow my business in ways I hadn't before, they were all terrifying in the moment. And they all ended up being essential to the path I'm on. The way I look at it is fear doesn't really get easy, but you can get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable. You start to see it as just the price you pay for something. something better, the ticket to get into the show, the beginning of everything good to come. So have you been scared recently?

Number six, what is my little hinge? Now a little hinge is one small thing you can do that has a monumental impact on your day. For me, it's waking up early, it's having coffee, it's reading and getting some time to myself. That propels me into the rest of the day like a rocket. The question is, what is the little thing in your life that can have a big impact on your day? On your energy, on your success? What is your little? Number seven, how can I find a positive in this situation?

And this one's tough, but it makes all the difference. And here is the reality, even the worst experiences, our greatest letdowns, they open the door to something positive. something that can change your life for the better and it is convincing myself to find it amidst these situations that has contributed to some of my greatest breakthroughs because you learn you're forced to adapt you're forced to become more and the key is put right in front of you the problem is that most of the time we're so consumed by what we lost that we walk right by the positive COVID's a great example incredible challenging time, difficult for everyone involved, people have lost their jobs, found themselves unsure of what tomorrow holds. But I've always said since day one that if you can find one positive here, one thing you can start or do or change so that when it's all over and you look back, you can say that little period of uncertainty, of hell, of discomfort, well that is when it all started.

That's when I planted the seed for something incredible thing. So my question to you is how can you find the positive in this situation? Number eight, why not me? Anyone who's done something of value has faced long odds. They've had to peer into an abyss not knowing what the future would hold. They didn't have an external world providing assurances. No, true to the name, They leaned on their internal world, their world within, self-belief.

An understanding that life might knock them around, it might present challenges, but somewhere in there was the courage to march forward and overcome. See, no one's born special with all the answers. The way I see it, there are people who had the courage to embrace vulnerability in those who did not. So let go of the thought that there's a monument. mental difference between you and the people who have what you want. Create a plan, prepare for the long haul, and most importantly believe in yourself to overcome. If they did it, why not you? Question number nine, who matters?

Now this is in a lot of ways tied to question for the whole what can I remove question, but it's so important and it's been so valuable to me that I want to expound upon it. Right, imagine a hospital bed scenario. Imagine, God forbid, you're sick, and had to spend some time in the hospital, who, of all the people you know, would make time to visit and sit by your bedside? Maybe the list is small, maybe it's not. But at least personally, I have a gut feel for who in my life fits that description. Those are really the people who matter.

Those are the people I want to share time with and be there for. Those are opinions I consider. And this is important because we spend so much time, in some cases, making life-altering decisions based on the opinions of people who don't meet that description. Don't even come close. Sometimes strangers. And I'm not advocating being disrespectful towards people you don't know. Nothing along those lines. But what I am reminding you is that there are a few people, a handful, in our lives that truly have our best.

best interest at heart that means something. Don't adjust your life for people not on that list. It's important to ask yourself who matters. Lastly, number 10, how am I thinking about yesterday? Now, this one's near and dear to my heart because yesterday can be a tricky thing. You know, we fall into the trap, sometimes without even realizing it, of allowing our past to determine in our future. Well, this is how people saw me yesterday. This is how I felt about myself yesterday. This is what my life was like yesterday. So this is who I am. This is who I need to be. But that thinking couldn't be further from the truth. Right. You are always one decision away from a totally different life, one step away from walking down a new path, from creating

something for yourself, never seen. So don't ever feel like you can't change or grow into something new because you spent so long getting to where you are now. See, life is malleable. It's a story you decide to tell, and as I've always said, you are the captain of your ship. And that wake behind you has no control over where you choose to go next. Don't ever forget that. Your attention should be on where you are now,

not where you used to be. So how are you thinking about yesterday? And most importantly, importantly, where will you go from here?