Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - YOU VS YOU | Motivational Speeches For Success In Life

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” ―Lewis Carroll

We have a desire to define that which is often undefinable. When it comes to life and its highly coveted outcomes, assessing the things that we want, we use probability to solidify things that are entirely fluid. For example, you often hear about the odds of becoming a professional football player, the odds of becoming a CEO of going to Harvard, making six or seven figures, numbers that often paint a picture of why you can't.

When you hear only one in however many millions of people accomplish something, the intent is to show you that you're more likely to fall into the millions bucket than the one bucket. To show just how rare or difficult or out of the ordinary achieving that thing would be. Almost like they're being compared to a lottery, a random number generator, luck, a pursuit in which you have zero control. Think of a huge glass jar, right? One red marble, three million green marbles, and it's like you close your eyes and you better pull out that red one.

Otherwise, you won't become the Oscar-winning actor that you dream of being. And the problem with looking at life that way is that it overshadows the most important element of success, understanding just how much control you have. The one in however many hundreds or thousands are millions, wasn't born that red marble in a jar full of three million green ones. No, he or she just did things differently, live differently. They didn't relinquish control.

They took control, and that's the difference. That's what matters. The lottery is sitting back and hoping your numbers pull. In real life, you create your own probability every day, every minute, that goes towards working towards a goal. That means you get closer. Why would you take a snapshot of the present moment in time and use that to define the likelihood that you'll live out your dreams someday down the road? It doesn't tell you anything.

It's the steps along the way that make your vision a reality. Using the same metaphor, every step, every decision to push forward, every time you dig deep and find a little advantage, you're replacing one of those green marbles with the red one. Maybe you can't quantify that numerically. Maybe you can't see the progress, but it's there. In fact, numbers should never scare you because they're an indicator that the vast majority of people aren't prepared to go all the way,

aren't willing to do what it takes, and that you, by simply not stopping, by thinking that you can, by giving more than the person next to you, have a tremendous advantage over the rest of the world. When you hear only a small number of people make it or graduate or get accepted or win, your thought process shouldn't be, oh no, it should be perfect.

This is my opportunity. Of course, the number of elite people in any arena is going to be small. Think of what it takes to get there. Think of the sacrifice needed to make it happen, the costs that must be paid. The only odds that warrant attention are the odds that you will continue forward, and you should know that they are 100%. Because when you trust yourself to find a way, when you focus on how to make it happen, you have an advantage.

The world around you, they focus on why things can't happen. They see what can go wrong. They harp on the fact that it's not easy. Remaining fixated on why you can, on finding a way, means you most likely will. The terms difficult or demanding or even unlikely, they have nothing to do with you crossing that finish line. If you are 100% convinced, you are going to do just.

that. Words like difficult, they just imply that there's going to be plenty of opportunities to quit and turn around along the way, a temptation that must and will be ignored. They mean that you will be tested, that you will have to ask yourself potentially numerous times if this means something to you, if it's truly worth it. And if the answer is yes, then the numbers, the probability, the odds, they are not an adversary, they are an ally. Don't stay down in the ashes. Use the pieces to build new things. Don't dwell on what hurts. Use the lessons to chart a course to happier days.

Don't fixate on what's missing. There's an endless supply of what's not there. Instead, rejoice over and capitalize on what remains. Don't take misfortune personally. Remember that life is neutral. It's you who has to decide whether to shrink in its shadow or grow because of it. Don't compare yourself to people around you. We only see highlight reals.

We only see the best of our neighbors, but they have their demons, their problems, their struggles too. Instead, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. That's the only worthwhile benchmark. Don't exhaust time wishing you had someone else's gifts or natural abilities. Sure they have theirs, but you have yours too. Explore and go all in on your unique superpowers because that's exactly what they are should you choose to bring them to life. Don't let the gravity of the moment keep you down.

You might feel lost or defeated. But it's not always about feeling good. Sometimes it's whether or not we can move forward when we don't. So step into that unknown, knowing sure you might not be at your best, but that lives are often defined during our imperfect moments. Don't waste energy on hope. The future is a construct, an idea that you have no control over, and that will make you its slave if you allow it to.

See the value of right now. Right now you have the power to change, adapt, evolve, to make things happen. Right now is all you'll ever have to control. Build, tear down, retreat, advance, follow or lead. is a choice. Life provides the components to go up or down, left, or right. It's a perpetual fork in the road. Endless opportunities. But you are the architect. You decide what they become. Today belongs to the architect. He sees towers before they pierce the sky, an opportunity, before it transforms. forms into the extraordinary.

He knows that what he wants most cannot be given. It must be sculpted. So he builds. He builds because those skylines don't raise themselves from the earth. The extraordinary does not appear on its own. They are dreamed into existence by the architects of reality. the ones who seek not to take from the world, but to contribute to it.

Today is the beginning of something new, something better, something worth remembering. And it's existed long before the present moment waiting for your vision, your courage, your persistence to bring it to life. Too many times we fail to reach into the realm of what we know and get more of ourselves. It's okay to struggle, to be wrong, to have to rebuild a thousand times,

but the great tragedy is closing our eyes and walking by life's opportunity. Everything you need to rebuild the life you dream of is around you, your every move. If only you'd reach for it, see it before your eyes do, become the architect of change. Nothing is impossible when you are the one setting the rules, when your hand draws the guidelines. You are not at the mercy of the world.

You are creating it. This is yours. And there will never be a moment like it again. So don't run from it or hope life gives you what you want. the pieces in front of you and construct your masterpiece. Freedom lies in being bold. Robert Frost. Something caught my eye on Twitter not too long ago.

It was a headline referencing the boldness of wolves in the wild. So I clicked it to delve a little deeper and it took me to an article by Emma Maris. And here's the summary at like a 10,000-foot. view. Okay, basically there's a parasite called T. Gondi that infects animals and then causes those infected animals to act bold, perhaps even reckless in some situations. And the article states why, and goes into some great detail, but for now I'm going to jump right to a specific point. Because there's a part where the article mentions how two wildlife ecologists, Meyer and Cassidy, studied wolves at Yellowstone for 27 years.

And upon studying them, they find something very interesting. After taking blood samples from 229 wolves, they found that wolves infected with that T. Gondii parasite, that again makes them act bolder, were 11 times more likely than uninfected wolves to leave their birth family and start a new pack. The infected wolves were also 46 times more likely to become pack leaders, which Maristates are often the only wolves that breed.

And so this appears to portray a direct link from boldness to increased social status and possibly even reproduction rates. With that boldness comes risk, sure, but with risk comes reward upside. Now, obviously, the day-to-day actions of wolves at Yellowstone is not an apples-to-apples comparison with human beings functioning in society. But personally, I can't help but feel the value contained in the case study. In fact, it was my thinking about it while falling asleep that prompted me to find the article again and share it. For the simple reason that I know there are places in my life that I can. can be bolder.

I know there are places in my life where I can dial up that risk factor in exchange for results that supersede what I have now. You don't get more without giving more. And I know there are places I can give more. In fact, I'm pretty confident there are places every single one of us can give more. See, here's the thing. Being bold means drastically different things to different people. And it's in this truth that the magic is found.

Boldness for one person might be completely different from someone else. It might be more travel. For another, it might be taking on a project at work. For another, it might be leaving a detrimental situation. For someone else, you know, going through a low point or deeply challenging time, it might be simply getting out of bed. We are all operating on different planes at any given time. my bold today won't be my bold next week.

That's just the way life works. But here's what I do know. We can all find within ourselves that courage to be bold in whatever arena we are in. And every once in a while someone will say to me, yeah, but Eddie, can't you just be happy where you are? Why does it always have to be the next thing or bigger or better or more? to which my response is, look, of course, we should be grateful for what we have. Of course, we should appreciate the gifts and the beauty that surrounds us day in, day out,

because it's there and it's infinite. But, and you knew there was a but. Human beings are purpose-driven. Our happiness is often derived from our progress. Our journey is the destination. And we often find when we look around that we have given pieces of ourselves away, sometimes without thinking about it. Perhaps we become stagnant with areas of ourselves that can be elevated, that are destined to evolve. I love looking back at those courageous moments in my life.

They mean everything to me. You know, I like to say it's the small things repeated day in and day out that make us who we are. The vast majority of the time, I believe that to be true, but those pivotal moments, those opportunities that our consistency creates for us, well, boldness in those instances changes everything. Walking onto a stage when you've never spoken before, when your body is physically rebelling and you don't want to walk on a stage is everything. Calling U-Haul, packing up and leaving a situation that's no longer in your body. your best interest is painful, it's instantaneous, but is ultimately everything. Making an investment that you believe in. Deciding to hire someone with incredible vision and talent, being vulnerable enough to share

your thoughts with the world, these things are risky, they are bold, but in your world, they are everything. And so the obvious connection here is our desire to lead in a world seemingly void of adequate leadership. It's setting an example. It's not settling for the ground floor when the sky is the limit. Yes, on all counts. But it's also leading yourself.

At times, we forget just how important that is that you need to lead yourself to something meaningful. Significant change does not come along without your initiating it. No doors open if you don't knock. The world will only give you what you ask of it. And I'm here to remind you that asking more of the world, yes, it's hard, it's uncomfortable. It requires you to be more today than you were yesterday. But you are capable of that.

You are bold enough to be that. Robert Frost says freedom lies in being bold. I believe that's because in your courage lives the infinite. upside so powerful that one simply cannot grasp it while standing still. So go. Go find those areas of life, your life, where you know you're holding back, where you know when your soul you have more to give, and breathe life into them.

Knowing that sure, in being bold, missing the mark is a possibility. but in never leaving, it's a certainty. If you never go, you will never arrive. So find the courage to ask more of yourself because more there is. Ready to prioritize yourself in the new year? Your skin is a great place to start. Dime Beauty, founded by a master aesthetician,

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Revive your skin and give yourself the routine refresh you deserve by visiting dimebeautyco.com. That's dimebeautyco.com. Your best skin awaits. What if the so-called detours in our lives weren't detours at all? What if they were the way? And all that time spent worrying, analyzing, critiquing was nothing more than an inability to realize the perfection of the moment. The greatness that completely oblivious to us we've stumbled upon. Sometimes we can fall into the trap of looking at life in a way that I believe is too linear.

You know, and I certainly think we benefit from simplicity for a variety of reasons, clarity, the ability to make something repeatable, the gift of focus. But here's the thing, truth is so rarely black and white. And that begs the question, well, what do we make of all that nuance in detail, all that other stuff? the surprises, twists, turns, mistakes, sudden goodbyes, unexpected hellos, the cutting away and the taking on. Because life is messy, unpredictable. And our greatest lessons seem to come from places we least expect them to. Our most memorable moments are often somehow dropped into our laps.

It's the whole John Lennon notion that life is. what happens while you're busy making other plans. And it's interesting to me that I've spent a decade pointing at this metaphorical mountaintop, pouring myself into a methodical plan, just to see again and again that the value continuously comes from the places I didn't anticipate. Where if I kept my eyes closed or even blinked for a second, I might have missed it. Seems like the important things often dress themselves up as mistakes, problems, setbacks, and detours. So why bring all this up? Well, in case you're like me, and you have that tendency from time to time to beat yourself up for the times you fell short, let yourself down, the times you swung

and missed. For anyone who thinks a deviation from the original peasant, you're going to be able to, path is in some way of failure. You know, my goal is to remind you that these things, every single one of them, they all come together to make you you. And the more days I collect, the more I realize they are not only part of the chapter but integral to the storyline. They're the character development. See, somewhere, at some point along the way, you'll have situations that change, things

that come and go, relationships that fall apart, forever things that ended up being rather temporary. And that animal brain will tell you that, you know, this was somehow a total loss, that your days were wasted, your time was stolen. It won't highlight for you how much you actually learned, or that that point in time gave life to the next thing, which being became the next which opened the door to the next, that it was all part of this critical evolution. The thoughts you think, wisdom you now hold, none of that is ever realized without you having taken the path you took. And so I ask, was that a detour? Or was that you being exactly where you needed to be? Then there will be.

ideas. The ones you thought you had ironed out, nailed, hit out of the park, the plans that would change the narrative, rewrite the story. But ultimately, time just wouldn't allow them to live up to that potential. They'll fade away and leave you no choice but to pick yourself up and move on and your pride, your emotions will absorb all that and tell you, hey, it was all for not. Another failure, a giant L. They won't show you how learning to brush yourself off. And start again is a muscle, a skill,

and that being as all people fall, the ones who never learn to get back up are at a tremendous disadvantage in life. They won't explain that you're more courageous now than you've ever been up to this point in time that depersonalizing our miscalculations and carrying on, well, it won't just help you succeed. It will be the reason you do, the X factor, the wind beneath your outstretched wings.

And so I ask, were those miscalculations detours? Or were they the wisdom that you needed more than anything else? And then of course, there will be the times you just don't know. Perhaps these are the hardest, you know, stuck, unsure. And it's bad enough that you have no idea. But then you look around and it always seems like everyone else has it all figured out. Everyone else has it down. At least that's the message our brains like to create.

You're alone in this. This is all you. It doesn't tell you that in reality no one knows exactly where they're going or what they're doing. And the ones who think they do are very often redirected and for good reason, as is the entire point of this message. Right? It doesn't tell you that you don't find yourself until you get lost.

That life is not some predetermined checklist or series of qualifications. It's an adventure where some corners are turned, only for you to realize that the contents just around the bend aren't what you wanted. And some bridges are crossed only for you to see that maybe you were wrong about what you thought was important. And that, contrary to how you might originally feel, is a beautiful thing. The times you're unsure remind you to keep your eyes open, to enjoy what's around you, capture the value, explore the vastness of a world that will eventually offer up all the pieces required to build what you need. And so I ask, was being unsure a detour or the necessary starting point to live a life true to yourself? Perhaps we've been looking at this whole thing the wrong way, a little too black and white.

What if what we need to do is, while in pursuit of whatever it is we're pursuing, give ourselves a little more love, a little more understanding, because one cannot be their own greatest critic. If they forget to also be their own biggest fan, the two are inextricably linked, making it not. okay to be so caught up in the former that one forgets the latter. Life is messy. So forgive yourself when your plans from time to time mimic the pulse of the very world we are trying so desperately to navigate. Be there for yourself because every step is

important, every moment matters. And again I ask what if The so-called detours in our lives weren't detours at all. What if they were the way? And all the time spent worrying, analyzing, critiquing, what if they were nothing more than an inability to realize the perfection of the moment? The greatness that we've stumbled upon. Sometimes the moment has a way of appearance. has a way of appearing bigger than it really is.

A facade. Let me explain. There was this kid when I was in first grade. Let's just call him Mike. What Mike would do was follow us all around the classroom and outside at recess. We'd constantly look for reasons

to quote unquote, tell the teacher on you. Right, dude was an absolute menace. I'm 35, and I still remember Mike. My buddies and I would be, you know, playing basketball outside, you know, maybe just learn some awesome four-letter words, would love to give him a test run, but no, not if Mike was around. Mike would go right to the teacher and see, we feared Mike because we feared being in trouble. Now as time passes, yeah, you look back and realize how absolutely ridiculous that is.

I want to shake younger me and say, who cares about Mike? Go live your life, he doesn't matter. But the reality is at the time, he did matter. He mattered a lot because he was the personification of what was most scary to us in the moment. Right? As a child, avoiding being in trouble or time out or whatever it was seemed to be a big deal. And here's what I think. I think every chapter of life has a mic.

Not in the literal sense, but in the sense that there's something we fear, something that consumes our time and attention, something that's been inflated to a state far greater than it really should have been, that has an impact disproportionate to reality. Because as real as it seems in the moment, a few years down the road,

we'll do the usual, you know, shake our head and laugh about the seemingly obvious, lack of perspective during that chapter. Hindsight being 2020 will be shocked. We couldn't see what we eventually came to see. But that's what growth is. It's a good thing. We want to evolve.

No one wants to be the same in 10 years. See life the same way in 10 years. But it's also an opportunity to obtain some perspective. To understand that our current fears aren't all we've built them up to be, we just can't see it yet. Unfortunately, the dust has to settle before the picture makes sense. Just like right now, we can't judge the world around us, the same way historians will be able to with clarity.

That's why I often reference Brony Wears top five regrets of the dying, because it's a list of things people in their final stages of life look back on and say, yeah, that was dumb. It's people who have already walked the path pointing out the metaphorical might they've encountered along the way because here's the deal the root of our stagnation, the root of our frustration, our despair comes down to fear in some capacity. Right? When you dig deep, it's a fear of leaving or staying, a fear of criticism, fear of unknowns, fear of letting down the people we do know. Our demons are manufactured. They're

comprised of fear, fear that, sure, we'll eventually laugh and shrug off. But owe the power in being able to fast forward that sequence. To understand that life is too short to be held down by chains of our own making, right? How about laughing in the face of what intimidates you now? Not five years from now, but now. How about looking around and asking yourself what obstacles in your life are Mike? How about breaking our constraints down into what they've always been manageable tasks? Simply waiting for us to change the narrative.

If you aren't pursuing that which is meaningful, it's most likely because somewhere deep down fear is holding you back. And that fear is holding you back because let's face it, you've let it in. See, the moment is beautiful. It's powerful. It has everything you need, but it's not bigger than you. It never will be bigger than you. So let's not wait for some arbitrary time in the future to arrive at that conclusion.

I made it part of my morning routine to go outside, have a cup of coffee, listen to this app that gives you basically 15-minute summaries of books. It kind of randomizes it for me. And this morning, the one that came on was called How to Talk to Anyone. And there was a part that really stuck out to me, talked about being methodical about who you interact with, particularly in a social setting. The idea being that you don't need to be some type of polished politician

to be able to navigate a party or work a room. And it goes into, you know, planning. The idea, like eating before the gathering or parties. So while you're there, you can focus on connecting with the people you want to connect with, getting the most out of your time there. That type of thing makes sense. But the line or the way it was summed up that really got me was, in that situation, be the chooser, not the choice.

choice. Pretty powerful framing there, right? Think about how often when we don't ask ourselves what an ideal ending is, what we want, and we simply show up and go with the flow, we're actually forfeiting our ability to shape the outcome of the evening. It's instead going to be shaped by the people who do have a preference and act accordingly. In other words, we're willingly signing up to be a part of their plan. We're signing on to be the choice and not, as the passage says, the chooser.

Like so many things, you know, you can take a single idea or concept from one area and pointed at something else, right? It applies across the board. How many places in our lives are we just going along without any visualized outcome or goal?

In what areas are we showing up to the metaphorical gathering? with no ideal outcome in mind, hoping the right people come to us. The right things appear to us. And of course, you know, life is messy. No plan's going to be perfect. But there's plenty of truth to that old saying

you can't hit a target that you haven't created. That isn't there. And if you don't take the wheel in these little segments of your life, you can't then be disappointed when things don't happen, when the car doesn't go where you wanted it to go. No, the one holding the wheel will determine that. Now, let's be real. Identifying what you want and pursuing it is definitely more challenging, right?

It takes more effort and sacrifice. It's emotionally taxing. Because now there's something at stake. But you also position yourself to now get something worthwhile out of the situation. A situation that you otherwise would have had very little control. over, right? I've referenced a few times my eighth grade teacher telling us never to hold our hands up to the sky. And he would clasp his hands together to make this little bowl and hold them out. But he'd say never just hold them out and hope something falls into them. As the saying goes,

hope is not a strategy. And I think there are different levels to this for sure. It's one thing to never think about what you want in life at all. It's another thing to walk into a party and snack on the pretzels instead of connecting with someone, right? They're very different. But when we understand that underneath both of them, underneath all of it, the same principle applies. We can at least recognize where they're happening in our lives, some small, some bigger and perhaps more important. layers to a cake. But why wouldn't it always be beneficial to ask yourself, one, what matters, and two, what can I do to bring me closer to what matters?

At least then you're cognizant. I think often the greatest opportunities lost are lost simply because we're not aware of them. So if we make ourselves aware and we miss the opportunity, let's make sure we missed it because we looked it in the eye and chose. no. We met that additional layer of resistance and still said no thank you, right? There's intentionality to it. I remember reading Darren Hardy's book, The Compound Effect, and he's someone that is apparently incredibly meticulous about everything he does, to the point where he would write out a description for his future significant other. Like if it were a dream world, the exact person he was hoping to spend the rest of his life with. From her eyes,

color, hair, what she enjoyed doing, all that stuff. And, you know, it goes to show you the difference a few years can make. The first time I read that, I thought, well, that's way too extreme. I skipped right over it. Now I look at that and I'm like, yeah, he's just creating an ideal. So that in the real, tangible world, he can put himself in the best position to attract that person. He's creating a goal. otherwise what's the alternative?

You just kind of walk around and hope someone appears around a corner someday who aligns with you and what you want and your interests and it's rolling dice. There are just too many variables in life to constantly be wishing or crossing your fingers, leaving things up to chance or fate. There has to be some general sense of direction.

And I've had this kind of miniature epiphany in many aspects of my life. For example, you know, business, I've been asked, but what do you want it to look like the next five years? It used to be, well, five years a long time away. Do I really need to know? And it's like, if you don't know, then what are you doing today? You're just repeating what you've always done? Are you acting randomly? And hoping it takes you somewhere that will make you happy down the road? No, you have a vision. And as Bezos has said, you hold the vision and you continually adjust the process.

Again, life is messy. Things will change five million times and that's okay, but there's a better chance good things will happen to you if you identify what they are and seek them out. Even smaller example, Boston, my home, I lived there, I love the people there. But, you know, five years ago, I was at a point where my work was remote, my team was remote. So rather than simply endure, you know, November to June every year, I ask myself, well, what's my ideal lifestyle? like. What if I design around that? Why not move somewhere that really excites me? Now I can run in the heat in January in Miami. That's not a small thing in my life. That makes me a lot happier. And so it's little things like that. You know, you get the point from the big things to the tiny details. If you don't choose what you want or choose your path, life will simply choose it for you. And the

And that may or may not be in line with what makes you happen. Or the idea, as many of us have heard in a different way, if you don't pursue your dreams, you will undoubtedly spend your days working to help someone else build theirs. Without you taking control, taking initiative, life will, and you will become a pawn on the chessboard of life. So ask the questions. You know, look in the mirror and delve into the aspirin. of the person looking back at you.

From social events, sure, to your significant other, to your work or business, to your overall life goal. What matters to you? In these various arenas of your life, what does success look like? What does fulfillment feel like? And once you have that blueprint in your mind,

you are now on the road to ensuring ensuring its construction. The construction not of a world you were given, but of a world you chose. George Elliott has said, it's never too late to be what you might have been. And this is a message that I 100% stand behind. I will always believe that to be true. Why? Because you always have the now to start moving in that direction. And a skeptic or someone playing devil's advocate could say, yeah, well, not me, right? The timeline for me has expired. Or I missed the age requirement.

Maybe life circumstances have made Plan A impossible. It is quite literally too late. Okay. But here's what I believe we frequently misunderstand in this department. I think we misidentify what it is we really want. And sure, that sounds presumptuous for me to sit here and imply that maybe you miss the mark, right? How would I ever know what you want? Well, hear me out.

Because I think too often we confuse the vehicle for the destination. That thing we thought we wanted, in actuality, wasn't really what mattered to us. We wanted where it would bring us. We wanted how it would make us feel. we wanted what we'd become when we engaged in that thing. That thing was simply the ride to the destination, not the destination itself. And that's incredible news. Because vehicles are interchangeable.

It's always possible to find a new route or new ride to the show. And this is why self-reflection is so important. Because it's easy to get so caught up in the vehicle that we forget where we're going. For example, I get a ton of inquiries about keynote speaking, and that's fantastic. I think it's really cool that people want to do that and see me as someone to help guide them. But when I hear that question, I can't help it. My first thought is always, okay, but why keynote speaking? And it's not personal.

Why should always be the first question we ask? Is that truly the destination? Do you feel in your soul you have a story to tell? Do you get a high from the audience interaction? Is it how you feel you can best serve the community? Like, what is it for you? Or maybe it was more of an arbitrary decision, where what you're looking for is, you know, generating impact,

adding value to others. Maybe it's some type of financial incentive. All these things are valid, and they could all come from speaking. My point here is not to tell you what you should or shouldn't be pursuing as your goal, my point is that we need to understand why. Because when we get to the core of what we really want, the best path to get there often looks way different than we thought it might. I use this example often, but perfectly relevant.

There was a point in time where I used to think songwriting was it for me, right? My heart, my plan. Until I realized pretty quickly that I could live without it, and that surprised me. I wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but that what really made me sad to let go of was the storytelling piece, the expression, observing and philosophizing about life. And that when I took that emotive storytelling, I could bend it and reshape it a million different ways. That I actually loved the freedom of being able to express myself or make a point without being totally bound by rhyme-skirts. and rhythms. I found that point where I could help others in their difficult times,

maybe see things from a new angle by helping them to look at the world differently. The vehicle, in a way, was almost expendable. And that was a giant epiphany for me. Songwriting was not what I wanted. It was bringing me closer to what I truly wanted. That helps me reshape my plans, my approach, my strategy, And hey, maybe you're different. Maybe you are right on the money.

Maybe you've thought this through and things couldn't be clear. But hey, people tend to speak from their experiences and, you know, that awareness to me was no small accomplishment. Getting there and understanding that, right? If that 1,000-foot view does anything, it exposes how multidimensional the playing field is. And how our proclivity is always to box ourselves in. in smaller, smaller, smaller, often leading us to walk by and miss quite a bit. It's also true that understanding what the destination is, making a point to really comprehend that doesn't mean you have to scrap what you're doing.

It could simply lead to that light bulb moment. So now you go, oh, you know, there are additional ways I can arrive at that destination. Maybe I've been so focused on a particular element of the journey, so tied to particular vehicle that I've been limiting myself. It expands your options. In the book Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath, they talk about how one of the biggest problems we have in decision making is unintentionally narrowing the scope. That we have numerous additional avenues available to us, but we don't see them because we become so fixated on a few choices. I think of that point often, you know, challenging myself as to why I'm doing it.

what I'm doing, especially when activities are time intensive. You know, there needs to be a happy medium, obviously. If you challenge every single thing you do, you'll be walking around in circles all day. But the ability, the power to drill down the question, what is it I'm really looking to obtain here? Is such a tremendous advantage. If you can get a true handle on that and you're willing to expand your mind, open your eyes, Just think about the big picture. Reduce the attachment to that dreaded phrase the way I've always done it.

You get to live in a world of endless options. You see that your path is simply that, one path of many. In the business world, you hear stories about people all the time that were unable to separate the goal from the medium. Couldn't look outside the parameters they'd created for themselves. blockbusters of the world. You know, when it should have been hold the vision, but adjust the process and readjust over and over again.

Our tendency is to hold onto that process so tightly that it becomes a weight around our ankles when it comes to relationships. People stay in toxic relationships all the time because that's the person. This is the group I hang out with. This is my network. Well, what are you looking to get out of a relationship? or group or network. Because no, it certainly shouldn't be betrayal or chronic stress

or limiting beliefs being imposed upon you. So if that's the case, detach and find a different way, a different person or a different group. Again, you're confusing the vehicle with the destination. Another example, college, right? Which for some people makes perfect sense. For others, it doesn't. I loved in Matthew McConaughey's book, Green Light.

when he realized he wanted to be an actor, and to make his parents proud to do it was traditionally right he went to acting school. Until he realized his most valuable experience was everything he was doing outside of school. But that the classroom was one vehicle of many to his ultimate destination was ultimately expendable. He had that foresight.

Someone once told me, when I went to get my first car, that the buyer is in control because they have the greatest strength, a superpower, the ability, if it does not serve you to walk away, to change course, you can always do that. So when you feel stuck or stagnant, try asking yourself, is this a vehicle problem or a destination problem? What is it that I want more than anything else? And what is it this journey is bringing me that gets me there, that gets me excited in the morning that inspires me to my core? Because I find that when you can detach the goal from the method, it often exposes some valuable information that helps you reestablish momentum.

Maybe it's taking resources from one place and adding it to another. Maybe it's a slightly adjusted approach. Maybe it's cutting a few small things away. Maybe it's a pivot. Maybe a total revamp. Who knows? But the idea is it's never too late to get where you most want to go. because when you identify the destination, when you realize what the finish line is,

there are always numerous roads that lead you there. We just have to make sure we don't get so caught up in a particular path or exhaust so much energy trying to jam that square peg into the round hole that we miss the infinite number of wide open doors, waiting for us to notice their existence and walk. Sometimes it's not about the odds. It's not about things being perfectly aligned for you. Sometimes it's about making something out of nothing.

It's about simply finding a way. Or as the saying goes, using what you have where you are. I want to share something with you that I've found pretty valuable. So the World Cup is on, and I really enjoy watching soccer, or football, depending on where you're from and what you call it, and caught a handful of games over the Thanksgiving holiday. One of those games was Argentina against Saudi Arabia. And for those who maybe don't watch or follow international soccer, Argentina is a powerhouse, right? Ranked third in the world coming into the tournament. Their team has some of the best players in the world.

They're just incredible to watch. The Saudis, on the other hand, not so much, right? They're certainly not known for their soccer. So it's kind of a David and Goliath-esque story. So what's the significance here? Well, let me share some stats. Argentina possessed the ball 69% of the time. Saudi Arabia, only 31% as expected.

Argentina took 15 shots. Saudi Arabia, only three. Again, as expected. Argentina dominated with possession and had more attempts. Saudi Arabia, however, won the game two to one. Shocker, right? Outmatched, outclassed, out everything, except outscored. Which happens to be the only thing that matters in a soccer game, obviously.

They had far fewer opportunities, but what they did do is capitalize on them, made the most of them. Now, those two teams that could play 100 times, it wouldn't be outrageous to predict Argentina winning 95 of those matches. But this is my point. That 5% can be carved out, can be willed into existence. What it comes down to is what you do with what? what you have, what you make of those few and far between opportunities that arise. Because here's the deal, there will be times when we feel simply outmatched by life. As though the universe is outshooting us, in control, bending and shaping us to its will.

And maybe at that particular point in time, that's exactly what's happening. To use the previous metaphor, maybe it's, At that moment, we are not the Argentina. We are relegated to a lesser equipped adversary. My message to you is that there is enough there to hold off the Goliath pressing and pushing. My message to you is that there is enough to be outshot but not outscored. That when we must dig deep, we are capable of unearthing a strength, a will, an ability to rise. I'm not talking about making it through unscathed. No, I'm talking about making it through

period when it seems as though we couldn't, when we had to crawl through hell to reinvent ourselves or rewrite the story. There's power in knowing that despite the seeming struggle and despair that a way exists. In fact, a friend of mine often says to me, there is always a way to arrive at your ideal outcome. You just have to figure out how to connect the dots. In other words, that outcome you're looking for, it already exists. The question is, how do you get from point A to B, to C, to ultimately your destination? It's not a matter of whether it's possible.

It's a matter of arranging the pieces at your disposal to create. create that bridge. And the reason I love this World Cup metaphor is because that all-or-nothing mindset in the past has been an adversary for me. Those who've been listening to me for a while, I've heard me talk about it. It's like things aren't perfect, fine.

I'll wait until they are. And oh, I'm injured and can't work out. Okay, then who cares what I do? I'll wait until things are back till I'm healthy, until they're how I want them to be. But no, to win, sometimes you have to find a way when the odds are in favor of the resistance

sometimes you have to step up when life is out shooting you 16 shots to 3 sometimes you have to be better than you thought you could ever be it's easy to maintain momentum when you're healthy right but maintaining momentum when you're not at your best

that's something different altogether coming out on top when you're the underdog digging deep and finding a way to win when the easy thing to do would be to submit to life that's special and guess what it's always there it's always available Admiral Mcgraven in one of my favorite speeches ever written he says if you want to change the world you must learn to be your very best in your darkest moments it's beautifully said it makes perfect sense it seems reasonable until we are knee-deep in those moments. It's easy to forget when we feel intimidated by a task that seems bigger than us.

It's easy to forget looking up at an obstacle or situation that seems to be statistically favored by life. It's easy to forget when walking away feels like the more pragmatic option. But that's why, regardless of the hill to climb, you must remember. When you are outmatched or seemingly outclassed amidst the battles of life, there is a way to come out on top, emerge victorious. Your job is to find it. And the opportunities may be few and far between,

but what will you do with them when they present themselves? How will you make the most of the resources that you do have? Because sure, life is largely determined by the small stuff, the predictable things, what we do day in and day out. But the pivotal moments, the times that shape our existence, they come down to finding a way when there appears to be nothing to cling to. You are down but never out, lost but never gone. As long as there is a heart beating in your chest. As long as there is blood pumping through your veins, there is a way. I challenge you to find it.