You're Never The Only One - Bad Santa + Royal Bust Ups

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

In this final episode of Season 1 Cat compiles tales of the very worst gifts people have received. She shares your emails, stories from the streets of London and anecdotes from her own friends. She also takes a moment to express her opinion on that Harry & Meghan documentary and shouts out all the parents out there who are shouldering the weight of Christmas with no help from an army of elves.Finally Cat implores you without dignity or shame to rate and review the podcast wherever you listen to it. It is the single more important thing you can do to help support the podcast and ensure a second season.Have a wonderful Christmas and see you all in 2023.Follow Cat on Instagram and TikTok and head to her website to buy a signed copy of her book The First Time You Smiled (or was it just wind?)Buy The First Time You Smiled (or was it just wind?) You're Never The Only One is written and hosted by Cat Sims, founder of Not So Smug Now, an online platform for people just trying to get through the day with some credit in the karma bank. The podcast is edited by Lucy Lucraft and executive producers are Bonnie Barry & Parami Kodikara.

The things I say do, I'm always what are me. I'm neither saying or sin, I'm somewhere in between. Hi and welcome to You Are Never the Only One, hosted by me, Kat Sims. Now, you may think you're special, that your worries, fuck-ups and fun times are unique only to you, that only you can get so many things wrong, so much of the time. Well, I'm here to prove to you every month. Monday morning that in the nicest possible way, you're not special or unique. You don't

fuck up any more than the rest of us and that even though it doesn't always feel like it, you are in fact never the only one. Hello and welcome to the final episode of Season 1 of Your Never the Only One. I I am so grateful and excited about how much you've all supported this podcast and taken to time to rate and review it. If you haven't done that, then there is always still time. It makes a huge, huge difference. And thank you for all the support and for all the emails and DMs you've sent. Each and everyone has brought me joy in one way or another.

And now here we are at the end of season one. And diving headfirst into Christmas. We all know how stressful Christmas is. the mental load ramps up to unprecedented levels. The overwhelm fills heavier than Santa's ball sack. And when we make it through, deliver the magic, feed everyone, gift everyone, clean everything. Fucking Santa gets all the bloody praise. Well, just know that I see you and everything you do behind the scenes.

Everyone listening to this podcast now gets it. Unless my dad is listening, in which case, enjoy the magic dad. But let's just take this moment to quietly remember all the mega parents that make the magic happen at Christmas. so what have we got coming up in this final episode well we're going to get into the christmas spirit by sharing all the very worst gifts we've ever received or in some cases given i emailed my friends and family and asked them to share theirs and you've also been sending some in i also took my mic out for the very first time onto the streets of london and asked completely random people what the worst gift was that they'd ever received and it's all packaged up here for you to enjoy

I'm also going to be given my opinion on Harry and Megan Now I know a lot of you won't care But I am fascinated by the responses to this whole thing As ever I'm going to be diving headfirst into the nuance And hanging out in the grey areas I'm not a lover or a hater But I am a chatter So expect some conversation starters

And finally we're going to be chatting All Things Motherhood at Christmas The mania is coming if it's not here already And we are girding our loins to put on Our festive face, don our Christmas cheer And make sure everyone has the most wonderful time but we also need to look after ourselves. So let's get on with it, shall we?

So with Christmas coming up, I have asked you, and random people on the streets, to spill the beans on your worst present ever, and you have totally delivered. First, though, I want to tell you about my worst present ever. I was about 26, and I hadn't been feeling great anyway. To be honest, it was the first depressive episode I'd ever had that was bad enough for me to end up going to the doctors, but I wasn't quite there yet. I ended up going to the doctors on the 27th of December. So I was very close, and you can have a little bit of, imagine how I was struggling, but no one in my family had ever admitted to having depression, mental health wasn't spoken about. And so honestly, I didn't really know what the fuck was wrong with me. Now, bearing all this in mind, I have taken time to wonder whether the present I received seemed like the worst thing simply because I was on the edge of essentially a breakdown. But I'm

pretty sure that's not the case. But listen, I'm going to let you decide. So a little context. Our family Christmases were usually huge. All the extended family would come together. But this year for various reasons everyone else was off doing their own things so for the first time ever it was just myself and my mum and dad i didn't have a boyfriend at the time and i was teaching so i was working a lot and obviously i was in the process of mentally dropping my basket so it was just not really the best time for me we had agreed as a family not to go no we had agreed to not go nuts that christmas so we weren't going to be spending loads of money it wasn't going to be extravagant, all of which I was totally fine with. I was a teacher, after all. So when I went to

open my gift, it wasn't as if I expected it to be a YSL handbag, but I also wasn't expecting what I got, which was six pairs of black socks and a steering wheel lock. I'll just repeat that, six pairs of black socks and a steering wheel lock. A steering wheel lock, I should add, for a purple two-tone mini metro, a car that absolutely no one in the world wanted to steal. Plus, black socks. Really? My mum was like, well, I thought they'd be useful. I was like, a box of tampons would be useful, but I don't want them for Christmas. And, dear listener, I'm going to admit now, hold my hands up. I threw a tantrum. I'm not proud of it, but bear in mind I wasn't in the best headspace. I lost my shit and left the house and went to my best friend's house to have Christmas lunch there, which in the end actually made things worse because her dad had just sold their family home and decided to give each of his kids checks for £10,000 as a Christmas gift at the table. So here I was with six pairs of socks in the steering wheel lock and my best mate just got enough money to put a deposit down on a small house in Yorkshire. So you better believe it when I tell you that I belly flopped into a puddle of self-pity at that point. Also another gift story. My sister's

ex-husband once gave her her wheelbarrow for Christmas because she mentioned she wanted to get the garden sorted. I did also reach out to some of my friends and ask them what their worst present was. Lou, who I'm sure you all know, Mama's still got it. She got back to me and said that Her mum once bought her super noodles, half of which were eaten for Christmas, which was made worse by the fact that her boyfriend at the time, also the same Christmas, bought her a fake shit, like a toy shit, a joke shit. Well, nobody was laughing about that, apparently. And I wanted to get out and about and ask the people of London Town what their worst present was.

And boy did they deliver. I'm here on, which road I'm on? Charing Cross Road, in the middle of London town. I've come in here to try and grab the opinions of complete strangers who probably don't want to talk to me all about their worst Christmas presents or presents in general. I'm going to go in. I'm going to try and find some people.

I'm a bit nervous. I'm not going to lie. And we're going to make it happen. Watch this space. Okay, I've found the first person who's agreed to talk to me. Do you have any stories about the worst present you've ever received? I was once given about a three foot high Gollum doll from my mother because she thought I really love Lord of the Rings and my sister's all got necklaces and that was lovely.

And I remember the look in their faces when they looked at me and saw what I'd opened and I was like, I don't quite know what it is. And then if you squeeze its tummy, it would be like, my present. I'm asking people about the worst presents they've ever received. My middle sister just got on a boyfriend and he, and my granny, buys her this really sexy, black, nighty. And we open this in front of our whole family. So, opens it in front of my dad. If you ever had a really terrible Christmas present or birthday present?

I haven't, but I can give you one that my dad got my mum once. Something called a she-wee. So when you're in the... When you're in the car and you get stuck and you need to nip out, yeah, that's what you got off for Christmas. How did your mum react to the she-wee-? to the Shiwi. She cried. She's had a great present every year since because we bought it for her. That's shocking. That's one of my favourites, yeah, I have to be honest. Thank you so much, guys. I really appreciate that. It's amazing how people avoid you when you've got a microphone.

Basically, I've realised two things. You can't speak to people if they're on the move. You need to find the people that are just standing around waiting for something. Also, women are the ones that receive bad presents and men are the ones that give them. I'm now in Piccadilly Circus. It's very busy. Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a very quick question? Okay, no worries. Yeah, she didn't want to talk. All right, first of all, I'm asking questions about whether...

There's no camera, it's for a podcast. Whether you have ever received or given a really terrible present? I never received any terrible present, but I give terrible presents for someone. Okay, tell us about a terrible present that you gave somebody. I give her my underwear and tell her to wear it. You gave what? My underwear. Hang on, you gave your underwear to somebody.

Yeah, I'm using underwear to my ex-girlfriend to tell her to actually... Hang on, so you gave your used underwear to your ex-girlfriend. She was your girlfriend at the time though. Why did you think she'd like your used... Would you be hoping she'd like laundry them or something? I was thinking like I need a good prison for the Christmas and then. I was like, you know what, I got something special for you. I put the underwear inside like a, you know, what do you call it, box of...

iPhone and that. Oh no, that's even what? And then she opened it and I was recording and then boom, she opened and she found my handle inside. And she dumped you, right? Yeah, she's actually... Yeah, I'm not surprised. Are you still single?

Yeah, I'm still single. I'm not surprised. So basically I have a podcast and I'm doing a segment on Monday for the worst presents you've ever received. I feel like you've got a story. Have you got a story about the worst present you ever received? Years ago, my husband gave me, I asked for some boots and some gloves for Christmas,

so he gave me a pair of wellies and a pair of rubber gloves. But also he gave me some kitchen wall scales. And he insisted Christmas morning on putting them up. So he drilled straight through a pair of cables, not funny. Shot himself across the bloody kitchen. So he electrocuted himself? Yes. dented the fridge

and I've got four little children in the other room crying because tree lights have gone off that was the worst present ever I'm not surprised are you still with him oh he died about him oh gosh not not by the electric shock how bloody wonderful was she

and yes I did feel a little bit awkward when she told me that her husband had died but everything was taken in good humour and we ended on very good terms I absolutely loved taking my mic out and about on the streets of London so expect more of that in the next series but you also sent in some mega emails telling me about the worst gifts ever this is from katie in our family we open our presents after lunch and basically stuffing our faces all day first of all how how do you do that

is there anybody in your family that's under the age of 18 because if there is how in earth do you get them to wait until after lunch that is an astronomical feat of some sort of parenting wizardry and I need the information. Not that I can wait till after lunch either. But I honestly don't know how anybody does that. So, back to Katie. We sit down with full bellies to open our presents and my father tells me he has bought me a gift.

I'm rather excited because my mother is the person who buys all the presents for everyone. Shocking. So this felt really special and something extra he bought especially for me. Hashtag she writes, could I be the favourite child? It was an envelope.

Intriging, yes. A good present on Christmas Day? Not really. It was a voucher for 10 sessions at the gym because, and I quote, we could all do with losing a bit of weight. I was speechless. I'm speechless too, to be honest, Katie. Luckily I had driven, and so I just silently got up from my seat with tears streaming down my face, put my coat on and left. Nothing quite like your father telling you he thinks you're fat to make you feel loved at Christmas.

This was 25 years ago, and nothing has topped it since. Katie, I want you to know, that is the single most savage thing I think I've ever heard. and I hope he's tried to make up for it every year since with an all-expenses paid trip to the Maldives because that's literally the only thing I can think of that would start to make even a dent in this trauma. Just a heads up, if there are any men listening or if you're a woman listening around a man right now

and there's a man standing around, unplug your headphones or turn up the volume so that everybody can hear it. Never, ever, ever, buy anything for a woman that is to do with losing weight. Just don't do it. that's a safe bet and good advice that you should take on board anyway the next one is from Sharon and may well be my favourite actually

perhaps it's even better than the Shiwi which by the way was brilliant so the present Sharon says I bought for my brother-in-law I'm laughing because I've now remembered what this story is a few years okay I start again so the present I bought for my brother-in-law a few years ago he's very techie and loves sport I found the most amazing present and was so proud of myself. We've all felt like that, haven't we? You know, when you actually nail a gift,

and you're like, I am so excited about this. I found a radio that was the size of a 50-p piece. It was perfect. You could carry it around easily and listen to sport whilst walking the dogs. So Christmas present exchange came, and I proclaimed I had definitely won Secret Santa this year for buying the best gift.

I'm going to put this out here without spoiling it. She's going to wish that this remained secret. I handed it over. and he opened it. The room fell silent. I was shocked and said, what's wrong with everyone? It's an amazing present. My sister asked if it was a joke. Of course not, I said, staring at everyone's shocked faces.

Then my brother whispered, Did you forget he's deaf? Listen, I know. I think if you laughed, you're probably going straight to hell, but I'll be there too, so listen, it's all good. Oh, that is just brilliant. And finally, from Anna, the worst present I ever got was a blow-up coat hanger.

What is a blow-up coat hanger? I mean, obviously I can imagine what a blow-up coat hanger is, but why would anybody find the need to invent such a thing? She says, my husband's grandma was terrible at giving presents. Yeah, but this was the worst one she ever got me. with his family we then wrapped it up every year and give it to someone else and I wonder who'll get it this year. That's brilliant. I love that it's recycled. It's just become a joke. I really hope all of you are blessed, however, with awesome presents this year

and just to be clear, it's not about how expensive they are. The best gifts are the ones that show you that they've really thought about you and that they've spent a lot of money. Jokes, my husband always complains that I'm so hard to buy for, which is mental really considering I'm always sending him links for what I want. So if the florist perfume, the H&M pyjamas and rummy cub isn't under the tree this year, I'm going to be pissed. Now, I said I was going to talk about it and here I am. It's the Harry and Megan Netflix doco. Now, if you're not interested, I get it. In fact, I started asking people on the streets of London what they thought, and so many said, I don't really care that I actually stopped asking, but I know that a lot of you do care. Well, not care, but we all have an opinion. And of course, I do as well. This opinion isn't right or wrong because essentially anyone talking about it has to start from the simple premise of, unless you're in it, you've no idea what's really happening, which means anyone's opinion is a best guess at best. Mostly, it's a reaction to what we have exposed ourselves to, what our past experiences are. and how that affects what we see.

For example, if you've got estranged relatives, for whatever reason, that's probably going to colour your opinion. If you're a royalist, again, it's probably going to colour your opinion. If you're a person of colour, a woman, someone who's served in the forces, or someone who's met a member of the royal family, it's all going to affect what and how you think of this whole thing. So to start, I've tried to think about what experiences and realities

I've encountered that will affect my opinion. Well, firstly, I am a sucker for love. I'm a romantic, and my inclination is always towards, to people in love. Secondly, I'm a content creator. I've experienced my fair share of trolling from about 50 women who are bored on Instagram, but I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to have those kinds of comments on the front page of every newspaper. That being said, I can perhaps empathise with her more than people who have never had any kind of public platform. Finally, I've always liked Harry. There's just something about him that suggested he was always a bit

more like Diana than Charles, and I adored Diana. On the flip side, though, I've got a lot of love and respect for the royal family. I wouldn't consider myself a staunch royalist, but I certainly don't think they should be obliterated. I think a modern royal family can be an incredible asset for any nation, and I believe that this royal family could turn into that. They have the potential. I also have always liked William and Kate, although I suspect they'd be a bit like that couple that make you feel bad about everything without even trying to, you know, like their kids would always be impeccably behaved and dressed and they wouldn't have any idea what a tablet was or a fish finger

and they tidy up all their toys without even being asked. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like them. It just means I'd need a therapy session or two after spending an afternoon at the house. What I will say is this, that despite my obvious preference for Harry and Meghan, I haven't taken what they said on that documentary at face value. I haven't just swallowed everything they said as gospel. I don't think they're lying,

but I do think they are telling their truth, which, much like my opinion here, will be again coloured by all sorts of things that were going on and that they were experiencing at the time. As the Queen so eloquently put it, recollections may vary. And she's absolutely right. Experiences get lost in translation. We can all be stood in the same room, hear the same thing, and take a very different message from it. Essentially, at the most basic level, I think Harry and Megan are guilty of trying to put in boundaries. And that's simply not what's done when you're a senior working member of the royal family. Whether or not you should be able to is, by

the by the fact is both of them were naive if they thought those boundaries would be not just respected but even accepted everyone has the right to put the boundaries in that they want but that does sometimes mean sacrifice and compromise whoever you are also no one on the receiving end of a new boundary likes it there's always pushback discomfort questioning and even fallouts that's the risk you take when you discover your own worth identify your priorities and put your boundaries in place of course you hope that that doesn't result in total alienation from your family and the life you've always known, but sometimes it does. That's hard enough when you're not part of the most well-known family in the world. It's also always a situation that pits people against each other and creates

sides. Again, whether you're in the royal family or not, so it's not a surprise that this has happened. In the end, I think the people you lose because they don't like the boundaries you've put in are the people that you're probably better off without. But if you put in boundaries, you also have to accept that people aren't going to like it, and that's okay. I think there are so many elements to Mostly, to be honest, it just seems really sad. Sure, Megan would have been an incredible asset to the royal family and the fact that two brothers united in such public tragedy over the years are estranged is frankly the most devastating thing about this all.

I've heard lots of people say that Diana would be mad at Harry and others say that she'd be disappointed in William, but truly I think she'd just be heartbroken that her sons, who she did everything to protect from this kind of royal nonsense, have finally been driven apart by it. There's no one I don't like. I can empathise with everyone. The royal family may seem cold and distant to many of us,

but we can't be mad at them because they're not what we think they should be. I'm sure many of them are in real pain over this situation, and just because we don't see it doesn't mean we can assume its absence entirely. The real villain of the piece, though, of course, is the press. Lots of people say Harry and Megan wanted privacy and then sold their souls to Netflix for a tell-all. I don't think they ever wanted privacy. I think they wanted to feel safe

I think they made the decision early on not to put their kids in the press and I think they just wanted, as I said before, boundaries and on this point they can't win. Royal family or not, we don't have a right to demand a parent makes their babies available for public consumption. I get trolled enough for putting my kids faces

on Instagram, an opinion I deeply respect but ultimately disagree with for my own reasons. But when Harry and Megan decide not to showcase their kids they're destroyed for it. I remember when they did present Archie to the press after two days of unrelenting pressure because they didn't do the picture on the steps at the Linden Wing. Like her or not, there isn't a mother in the world who

couldn't see the pain and shock and discomfort in Megan's eyes as she walked out in that white dress. And I laugh wryly because I felt every inch of it. Two days after giving birth to my first baby, I was crying on the floor of mother care because I'd forgotten the baby bag and the bleep of the checkout was too much. Putting myself through things. I wasn't ready to do after going through a traumatic birth and not recovering properly was so pivotal in the eventual development of my postnatal depression. This was a woman who was already clearly depressed and suicidal. In that sense, she wasn't protected enough by the institution. And by that, I don't necessarily mean the king, her brother and sister-in-law. I mean the people

that are given to them to guide them and protect them. I suspect there are a lot of royal staff that are pretty nasty, narrow-minded, snobby gatekeepers of what they see as tradition, duty and responsibility at all costs. They say it comes from the top down, and as much as I admired and respected the Queen, she came from a very different generation where being the monarch was her only role and everything else came second. Whether it was being a mother, a wife, a grandparent, she accepted that all those things were less important than her role as Queen. That's the ethos, and in many ways it's an admirable one, but it's not one that everyone can take on and it's not one that comes easily to anyone of William and Harry's generation. I can see why people find Megan annoying.

I personally don't, but she's so not British. She's so Hollywood that next to the very epitome of Britishness that is Harry, she can come across as a little ditsy and silly and a bit of a fantasist. Not everything can be how she wants it. She should have known. She just used him for status. She didn't bother to educate herself. What did she expect? All of these accusations have some validity, but essentially, I truly believe that no one could have been prepared for how this was actually going to go. It's like parenting until you're in it.

You have no idea. Do they have to accept some responsibility for the breakdown of this whole thing? Perhaps, but I don't think that was malicious or calculated. I think a lot of the time they reacted quickly, and the documentary did show to me how much towards the point at which they left the royal family they had to think on their feet and make decisions in a matter of hours. I think Harry needs to take a little more responsibility for not working harder to manage the astronomical gap between Megan's needs and wants

and the reality of what life as a senior working royal would be like. I think this has a lot to do with his mother and I totally get it. At that first sign of Megan's distress, he reacted in a knee-jerk way swiftly. We can all empathise with that, but perhaps a little more time taken to pause and work with his brother and father may have led to a different outcome. And maybe all that's bollocks. Maybe you did, but that's not the impression he gave on the show. Essentially, I see a man who was taken right back to the time when he saw his mum crying alone in rooms, when he saw her slowly broken down into pieces by a family and a press that hounded her.

And in that moment, he grabbed onto the woman who I truly believe he loves and fled, ran away. And honestly, I can't blame him. Regardless, I think they are now done. I think they're happy, they feel safe, I think they are sad about the rift in both their families, but I also think that they are still too angry and traumatised to really play a constructive role in any kind of reconciliation. I think time needs to pass. They've had their say. There are some very hurt people on both sides, and for now we need to let them both carry on, process and work through it. Any discussions now would not be positive. The wounds are still open and too raw. I believe it

will be made right as long as, in the meantime, the press stop. demonising Harry and especially Megan. I've edited this part this morning because yesterday in the Saturday paper this is an example of the kind of things that are written about Megan, especially by old, rich white men. Jeremy Clarkson wrote, Megan, though, is a different story. I hate her.

Not like I hate Nicola Sturgeon or Rose West. I hate her on a cellular level. At night, I'm unable to sleep as I lie there grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant shame and throw lumps of excrement at her. I'd like to be able to say that I was shocked, but I'm not. That's quite simply one of the worst things I have ever seen written about anybody. And if he's allowed to keep his job, then there is something severely wrong with this world and with the press that report on it.

as for the royal management of the press and certain leaks and all of that jazz I honestly have no idea how true that is and I always keep coming back to the people who are employed by the royal family I fear that it's them that may be instrumental in this whole thing and yet so invisible as to never be made to take responsibility I don't believe William bullied Harry I don't believe Megan bullied staff but I do believe that there is so much sadness in this whole tale

that ultimately comes down to two brothers who must eventually be able to accept each other's differences and respect each other's right to choose their own path. Finally, here's a little moment for all the women out there. which I suspect is most of you who find this time of year incredibly difficult. Sure, it's fun and joyful and jam-packed full of cracking memories, you see what I did there, but it's hard. Everything is on steroids.

A trip to the supermarket is stressful. Driving anywhere is crazy. Working when the kids are off, moving an elf every fucking night, if you're into that. Buying everyone's presents, wrapping them, posting the ones to family that you're not going to see in time for Christmas, getting a tree, dressing a tree and then spending 20 minutes vacuuming up needles every day. The amount of time I spend shouting at the cat for eating the tree is ridiculous at this time of year. It's late nights and early mornings and excited kids and annoying relatives and so many fucking meals.

It's parties and carol services and nativity plays and Christmas work parties and drinks at the neighbour's house and still the laundry needs doing, the bathrooms need cleaning, sick kids need looking after and elderly parents need more support than ever and the majority of all of that, if not all of that, falls on our shoulders. Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year for a lot of us, and that's okay, but let's acknowledge it. Let's be okay with the fact that our to-do lists are longer than Santa's naughty list. Let's acknowledge that we can be snappy because we're just so damn stretched. We can feel resentment because we've been running around like headless elves for two months in preparation, and your partner comes home on Christmas Eve after work,

and literally, as the king that is Elton John says, steps into Christmas. There's a reel in there somewhere. this week hard and I found the last week hard. As I type this, it's Saturday. As I record it, it's Sunday. And I promised my husband I would try and finish work for Christmas yesterday. I didn't manage it. And while he's making mince pies with the kids in the kitchen, I'm busy getting this written before we head to the theatre so that I can come home and record it late through the night when we're back. That didn't happen. We went to the theatre and I got back and I was so tired so I got up at six and I'm recording it now on Sunday morning. I don't want my work to eat into tomorrow, well, it did, or Monday, probably will, but it's going to, and I feel horribly

guilty. But I also feel a bit resentful, after all, he's not working right now, and how fucking lucky are we about that? I can work a little more because the kids have got a full-time parent at home, and the work I'm doing means that we are so fortunate to be able to put the heating on without being terrified of whether or not we can afford it. Plus, it's only December the 17th, more than a week until Christmas. A lot of people work right up until Christmas Eve. Many work through Christmas. So I'm feeling a bit irritated when I get a look of disappointment when I say I'm going to get some work done, especially when I've bought all the Christmas presents and wrapped them. Well, I haven't wrapped them yet because I'm still trying to finish up work, but I will do.

And I organise a Christmas shop to be delivered to my parents' house based on a meal plan that I organised asking everyone what they wanted. But I also know I have to recognise my partner. I gave him unfair expectations when I told him I'd be done by Friday. I sort of knew I wasn't going to be done by Friday, but I also knew that that was when he wanted me to be done. So I said I would be done. I have to take responsibility for that. I also know that I don't find it easy to transition from one thing to another. So while I've been 100% in work mode for the last couple of weeks, me coming back into the family fold isn't the easiest thing in the world for me. It takes me time and that is not very easy when you are the parent who's dealing with most of the kids.

So I understand that while it may look like everyone else is living their own hallmark movie, you may feel more like you're in an episode of Survivor. But But here's what I'm going to try and do to make everything a little bit easier this year. First of all, I'm going to have a sit-down chat with Jimmy, where we figure out realistic expectations of what we both want and need. We try to do this daily and we call it our morning meeting, but I'm going to call this one the Christmas conference. I know that I can't spend 24 hours a day with people, even if I did make them.

And he needs to know that there will be some quality, work-free, phone-free time from me. When that happens and when we can have space is something we'll have to talk about. Secondly, I'm going to sit down and chat with the girls about what the next couple of days and run up to Christmas will look like. The tree is up and Christmas has officially been switched on, but you know what? I still got a fuck ton of work to do here and there. I'll also make sure, though, that we get some firm plans in for watching Christmas movies together, going for a walk together on our annual Lego competition. Next, I'm going to put my phone down.

Sure, it's my work and so I can justify me being on it all hours of the day during working hours, but Christmas isn't working hours. and there are books to read and Terry's chocolate oranges to eat there are walks to do and yoga classes to finally get to there are baths to have kids to snuggle and games to play next I'm going to move every single day whether that's alone at the gym or walking with the kids or shagging my husband I know how much better I feel when I do it and I also know the longer I go without doing it the harder it is to get started

finally I'm going to prioritise sleep none of the above works if I'm tired and while I may think I have to stay up late making fucking marangs I don't I can buy the bastard marangs and give myself an extra hours kit. So those are my top five tips, my action plan for a Christmas that doesn't end in breakdown and divorce. I'm going to talk to Jimmy, make a plan with clear expectations. After all, an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen. Talk to the girls, make a plan, put my phone down, look up more, get moving, shag my husband and sleep as much as possible. So with that, I wish you all the most wonderful Christmas season.

They won't remember the seven versions of potatoes or the handmade crackers, but they will remember the laughter, the warmth, the fun, the joy, and that's just about being present and prioritising the moments rather than the stuff. I don't want to sound like a wish version of Glenn and Doyle, so I'll end it here. It's not been an easy year for a lot of us in many ways, and there's no guarantee that next year will be any better. But we keep moving with a smile on our face and joy in our hearts and laughter,

because I truly, truly believe that we can and should be able to find a laugh in any situation. I sign off for the first time in 2022, there is a plea here from me to you to please rate, review and subscribe to this podcast. If you've enjoyed it, even if you've enjoyed one episode, five minutes, if I've said one thing in the eight hours of garbled nonsense, I would really appreciate a rate and a review. The second season will depend largely on whether we get any funding and that will depend entirely on statistics. So if any of you, can share the love rate review tell your friends to rate and review share the podcast i would be incredibly grateful it feels like a good thing for you all to lean into at christmas so if you know

somebody that hasn't been listening maybe you should send it to him and say listen this is what you should get your teeth into over christmas with that i will wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year and i will see you on the twenty twenty three flip side You're never the only one is written and presented by me, Kat Sims, author of the first time you smiled or was it just wind, and creator of Not So Smug Now, an online platform for those of us who are waking up every day and just trying to do the best they can. Follow me and get all your podcast info by heading to at Not So Smug Now on Instagram and TikTok and notsosmugnow.com. You'll also be able to read things I write, including articles and my book, which by the way

is probably the best baby shower gift you can get at the moment and soon you'll be able to pick up merch there as well. You're Never the Only One is produced and edited by Lucy Loucraft and executive producers are Bonnie Barry and Paramee Codicara. Our original music is written and performed by Hot Salad. And yeah, I'm really fancy the bass player. Please check them out wherever you stream your music and on Instagram at your mum likes hot salad.

The things I say do, I'm always, what I mean I'm neither saint or sin, I'm somewhere in between This world is complicated Everything moves so quick And lying to yourself If you think that you gotta live

Everybody love You're never the only one You're never the only one Don't live inside your strength Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Don't judge me I'm a weakness Don't judge me on my floor

No one's really perfect by the grace of God goes home Everybody love You're never the only one You're never the only one Don't live inside the shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Taking the time to make sure

everything's okay Picking up like everyone else each and every day When I've got nothing left for you to spend on you You're allowed to be happy too Never the only one You're never the only one Don't live inside a shame Because everybody makes mistakes

Oh You're never the only one You're never the only one You're never the only one Believe inside your shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. The things I say do, I'm always what I mean. between this world is complicated everything moves so quick and lying to yourself if you think that you've got to live

everybody love you're never the only one Don't live inside your strength Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Don't judge me I'm a weakness Don't judge me on my floor Because no one's really perfect

By the grace of God goes all Everybody loves You're never the only one You're never the only one Don't live inside the shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Taking the time to make sure everything's okay

Picking up like everyone else each and every day When I've got nothing left for you to spend on you You're allowed to be happy too You're never the only one Don't live inside your shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh

You're never the only one You're never the only wrong You're never the only wrong Don't live inside your shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh