You're Never The Only One - BONUS: Emma reflects on going make-up free

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

This week we are sharing a bonus episode that we recorded a few weeks after our 'make up free episode'. Cat talks to Emma in depth about her feelings around going make up free on camera and whether it's affected the way she thinks about make up and her own self-image going forward. As ever, we would love to hear what you think. Drop a comment below, or get in touch in any of the following ways: Email: [e-mail] Voicenote/DM: 07457 402704 If you are able to leave a 5* review and hit the 'Follow' button we'd be very grateful. It's the easiest way to support the podcast. You're Never The Only One has also been nominated in the Best Podcast category at the Glomama Awards. We would really appreciate your vote! VOTE NOW!

it doesn't matter because not everybody listens to everything I mean if they do they're going to have heard my plumber midwife story 700 times you did tell it didn't you I did make that up you did tell it yeah I'm sure I did okay we're going to we're recording all right all right welcome back to a bonus episode where how many weeks is it now I'm on fucking parking now knowing this is going to be like a bit it's my dream job it's my dream job to do like a TV show but how many female talk show hosts are there not many are there in it

basically they put them all together on loose women don't they think about Jonathan Ross show and there's none hosted by women that's what I'm saying the only thing you see is like loose women where they put them all together I'm like there's a gap in the market and I fit in that gap perfectly anyway what I wanted to do

this is a bonus episode I've sort of dropped this on you a bit like I did with the makeup free episode but you know we've got to use the time that we've got so we've got a few minutes I thought we get a bonus episode in where we came back to you for three weeks after three or four weeks after we did the makeup free episode now that was a very it was pretty

uncomfortable for me but it was borderline traumatic for you and um I know that since then we've had chats about it you couldn't process it properly at the time if you've listened to the episode it was incredibly it was really emotional and it was really heartbreaking a lot just really tough I mean so I saw the edit this morning which I and I've had it for a couple of days obviously and I just wasn't ready. He had to kind of be in the right state. So, yeah, it was tough to watch. And as I was editing it, actually,

I realized that I was more affected than I thought I was because it was a really hard episode to edit. Basically, we weren't very good, you know, in the nicest possible way. We were very preoccupied and distracted. So I wanted to come and do a quick bonus episode and talk to you now that you've had a few weeks to process it about what that experience was like

and whether it's changed your own. approach to make up and how important it is to you or not or whether it's just reinforced everything that you already believed yeah i've definitely definitely seen a change definitely seen a change in like so directly after there was a sense of freedom so if i thought to myself god if i can come on camera and do that then you know i can face the rest of the one i hadn't even seen what it looked like at that point on camera so because i didn't didn't look at a mirror all day didn't look at the monitor when we came into the studio just, I had, because I knew I couldn't

talk and do it if, if I had, because I'd just talk myself out of it otherwise. So it was, I think it helped going out and doing the Vox Pops as well, because that was stepping outside of the studio. That was actually looking people in the face as well, with a bare face, which I'd never done before, ever. So why is Father Christmas calling your phone?

Really, so who the fuck is that? At Christmas time, I changed Jimmy's number to Father Christmas. because then he calls me once a day when I'm with the kids and I go Father Christmas is calling it's calling to find out

if you've been naughty or nice well we all know what the answer that is at the moment sorry carry on so yeah so it was the challenge when I was in here with you I'm sitting down having not looked at the monitor

having not looked in the mirror and just feeling like okay I can do this I'm just looking at you I still wasn't cool looking at the camera we were looking at you and we were talking and I think it was a distraction

and that was good and then it kind of yeah the anxiety when we when we were going outside to talk to people that um that that that was the next notch but i think it was that and having known i've been on camera that really made me go hold in a minute if i can if i can do that and you know and there was some nice things said when we were out on the streets um if i can do that then why can't i do the school run and why can't i so yeah so i just i i definitely wore less it started creepy back in a little bit, but something that also really hit me was when I watched the Pam Anderson documentary, and I said this to you. So, yeah, because we talked about it in that episode, didn't we? The makeup-free episode was kind of inspired by the fact she gone make-up-free.

Andrew Baramore, that was it, but you hadn't seen the documentary at that point. Right, got it. So I was very much, you know, kind of focused on Pamela Anderson, the image and everything, you know, the media image, so to speak, rather than what I saw within the documentary. I spoke about kind of episode before last, I think, when I had seen it. And it suddenly occurred to me that, as I was watching it, first of all, my, you know, my interest was in, like, how she looked and I was, you know, I was kind of going, God, like she really is makeup free, and, and but then as it went on, and I kind of fell in love with her as a person, it made me, I came away from it thinking, oh God, she just got more

beautiful, actually, as the, as the show went on. And I thought to myself, maybe that's how I should look at myself and kind of go, look, you know, your personality is enough but people to see a beauty kind of outside of the aesthetics of what you deem is socially acceptable. So it's almost like accepting that there are, that it's okay to have different versions of yourself that are all really acceptable rather than just one version that you believe is the only acceptable one. So like you can have a makeup free version of Emma that does a school run that's great fun that does all of this stuff and that's just as viable are you there yet working progress so the confidence that comes with a bare face isn't quite there yet you can do it

but you're still sort of white knuckling it a little bit would that be yeah and i think like those i think i'd still if i had you know if i was having a bad skin day or just looking a bit hanging i i i still would have to put something on then um what other advantages did you find when you weren't wearing as much makeup? Oh my God. I've got so much more time. I've got so much more time. I don't argue with my husband as much because I'm not faffing.

It's mad. I'm just, yeah, it's really liberating. And do you know what? So beautiful. I got to bed at the same time as my husband each night because I didn't have to do like these different five steps of removing my makeup. I could just put my, you know, I could just like tiny things

like not having to take mascara off, things like that. Yeah, that was really liberating. And also when I remember you saying when you were coming to get ready, when you were coming to the makeup free episode and you were getting ready, it was like you'd left yourself two hours.

Yeah. And then you were sort of done in 25 minutes. What do I do with myself? Obviously the thought of like leaving early, getting there on time didn't occur to you. We spoke about time blindness. Yeah, you know, it's a thing. Don't worry.

It's a thing. You're not just disrespecting people's time. So is it something you're working towards consistently? Or is it like, I've done it, I don't need to do it again? Or are you like, no, going forward, I'm going to be more comfortable with this. Yeah, definitely. I think, but part of that will mean, continue. It's like I'll probably get regularly get my eyelashes lifted and tinted, I think.

Is that because it will allow me to go without, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'll still be tanning, get my eyebrows done. And just things that just kind of are more. basic and less kind of applied on the daily yeah do you because you've got girls is there an element of that that's sort of encouraging you to challenge this because obviously you know is this something is do you worry that this obsession with makeup and I say obsession I don't mean it like that but like this no I think it's fair to say it maybe it's the session

is something you might transfer onto your girls yeah definitely definitely I think you know at this point they're just kind of in the playful stage they're not trying to cover anything and I have to be careful as we're not to go if we're going to shoot some content

for socials like going to let's just put a little the concealer under your eyes because they've both got smackaditis like they've got from their dad they're constantly like to heart circles under their eyes I think my kids do too I think it's just also

we got a school photo back the other day and Billy had a spot here and I got the downloadable version because I am not paying 75 pounds for them to print off fucking photos for me absolutely And I thought, well, I've got the digital version. I could just airbrush it out.

I could just get rid of that. And I stopped myself. Yeah. Because I thought, nobody actually is going to know. Like, even if I airbrushed it out, Billy probably wouldn't notice. But it's the beginning of a very slippery slope. Right. So I was like, no, I'm going to leave it.

So she will have that spot. Yeah. Forever. And that's fine. And that's a passage of time, isn't it? Yeah, we all went through that. God, I look back at my school photos. Yeah, you can see really badly applied concealer on like, like, yeah, mounds on

face I think yeah it is really important and I do want I do want the kids to use makeup in the future to you know kind of to enhance yeah rather than to mask like I did and I think you know but I've always I always found it tricky because they it's it's become such a ritual so every morning they see mommy doing it they have done since they you know they were born so it's I've always battled with kind of how to say oh well mommy you know you you don't need it, mummy does, but then that's as bad.

It's like, it's really hard to justify it. Because it's not about the makeup, is it? It's like, you know, we talked about the parallels between drinking.

It wasn't about the alcohol. It was about the hole in the soul, like the insecurity. Yeah. And you just turn to makeup to give you the confidence you needed to exist and walk through the world.

And I turned to alcohol to give me the confidence to walk through the world. Yeah. And so just because you wear a lot of makeup it doesn't mean your kids are going to have the same. They might wear a lot of makeup, but it might not be because they're really struggling with confidence.

It might just be because they saw mummy do it and they fucking love makeup. Exactly. And I say it because Johnny doesn't like them. Even like playing pretend with makeup. Why you got all that one? And it's just like, because they don't confuse it with what I do because I think he worries you're going to put it on them now.

You know, and I'm like they're just doing it in a really playful way. I can see how they're applying it, you know. And I think that now they're old enough that I'm in a position where, which I couldn't do before. because it was just too intricate to explain that I can explain where that came from, why I started doing it. And I think they're really proud.

They notice when I don't put it on because it's something that I've always said, I don't want to wear this. I don't really want to wear it. And so when they've seen me recently, particularly barley, she picks up on it. And she's just like, your skin looks lovely. Yeah, I know so sweet.

She goes, you don't need it. You look beautiful and, you know, and then I remind her that. You need to be more barley. He's not drawing on fucking lampshade, does she? No. Actually, yeah. Sorry for another day. But yeah, no, it's lovely.

And that's, yeah, it's really nice. I'm two little cheerleaders on my side. And, yeah. Well, I'm just going to wrap it up and just say that it was, I know you feel very uncomfortable when anybody says this, but it was amazing what you did. You were very vulnerable, and I think it will have helped an awful lot of people. So thanks.

Thank you. All right, Wicked. Thank you. Yay. Thank you.