You're Never The Only One - Don't like your friend's partner? You're never the only one...

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

Welcome back to Season 3 of You're Never The Only One. We are so excited to be back - trust us - it was touch and go for a moment there. This week, Cat & Emma answer your burning questions and chat about what to do when you hate your friend's partner. Unlike Jonny's speech, this episode is definitely not BORING (that'll make sense when you listen to it).Remember, Cat & Emma will be going live on instagram at @yourenevertheonlyone every Monday to chat about your reactions to that week's episode so, if you've got anything at all to say about the episode, or maybe you've got your own story to tell then please get in touch.Email: [e-mail]/WhatsApp: [phone]DM: @yourenevertheonlyoneThe best way you can support the podcast is by hitting the Follow button and dropping a 5* review...so please take a moment to go ahead and do that now! Thank you.Follow You're Never The Only One on Instagram.Follow You're Never The Only One on TikTok.If you're interested in working Cat & Emma, or advertising on the podcast, then please get in touch with [e-mail]

I can't believe he said that to you and he's not even met your own person. I'm just checking, this isn't my mate. I haven't talked to my brother in two years because his wife is a bitch. Yeah, I said it, Diane. Needless to say, it went down like a sack of cold shit. I love a woman who dominates. Do you, though? No, I hate it.

Well, I'm on the flip side of this. My partner is a nightmare. I'll start that again, shall I? Hello and welcome back to season three of your never the only one. Or is it season two? I don't know. I feel like it's season two because this is now the proper podcast. Anyway, we're back.

We're back and what bloody joy it is to be back after a short, necessary though, break where we took some time off. We licked wounds. I keep not knowing where you're going with this. That's fine. We ignored all calls and emails. I mean, I barely spoke to you. No, it was great.

I think maybe we just needed a little, you know. Time off. Yeah, it wasn't you. We're both quite a lot, aren't we? Yeah. But just like Wild Bears were back, hungry, energized, and not afraid to shit in the woods if necessary. And if you don't get that reference,

you might want to check out episode one of season two. I'm still not okay. All will be explained. The things I say do, I'm always what I mean. As ever, I'm joined by my better half, Emma Nicolet. We thought about not roasting you. each other this season. We did. But what would be the fun in that?

Plus, the roast at the end time, Emma is legitimately funny because she gets to think about them and write them beforehand. It's literally the only part of the podcast she does for herself. So, ladies and gentlemen, if there are any men, Emma Nicolet. Thanks. Thank you. It's true, unfortunately. That's why it stings.

I know, I'm never comfortable roasting. Oh, really? It seems like you're getting more comfortable. In fact, I think potentially the skinnier you're getting, the nastier you are becoming. I think that's what it is when really you should be happier. And I am happy for you. These weight lock injections, I am so, so happy for you. It's great.

You're losing weight. You're feeling good. And it's amazing because I think Kat's been dieting since about the early 2000s. And the only thing that has shrunk in that time is her willpower. So we're really happy for you, Kat. Really happy. You keep jabbing away. Now, there's a lot for us to catch up on.

So we thought, as a little regroup, that we would take to social media and ask our listeners to pose the questions that they want answers to. Yeah. So we've got three questions that listeners are submitted for each of us. Yes. So I ask you first? Go for it. All right, you're ready. So first question.

I'm excited. That everybody's desperate to know. They can't even sleep until they know the answer to is who's the boss at home, you or Jimmy? me. But all's me. I was going to try and give Jimmy a little bit of, like, credit there, but I think we're both very happy with that. Yeah?

It works. It works. Has it always been that way? Is it shifted at any point during your relationship? No, I think it's always been that way. It's just that Jimmy's now accepting of it. I think he's given in. I've beaten him down.

He's relinquished. He's now part of the cult. And he does what he's told. He's submitted. He's my sub. And I'm the dom. You're the dom. Yeah.

Well, we'll come to that a bit later on. Oh. But before that, question number two, Cat Sims. Yeah. Let's get deep now. Okay. Ready? I might want a glass of water because, Kat, what the people want to know is,

what's your deepest insecurity. Oh, okay. All right, let's do, I do this a little bit in part. Okay. Body-wise. Yeah. My turkey gobore. Yeah.

That and this sort of that bit. Is that gone down with the Lamanjaro? The turkey gobble's gone down, but this, my face is just, you can see like, it's just a bit jowly. I genuinely, I think you look really good. That's really, really great. I'm going to take that, thank you. But that has always been my... And you got one of those zippy things, haven't you?

I got one of those zippy things, yeah. Is that what, is that work? I have actually seen a difference with that. I really like that. But until Zip paid for a little bit of sponsorship on this podcast, we're not talking about them. Okay. I love you, Lozip. So that's your body.

That's my body. And I think, other than that, my biggest insecurity is that people don't like me. And I don't think everybody needs to like me. But I can tell myself that people who I'm really close with hate me. I'm always like, I think she's just being nice to me. She's actually just a bit embarrassed for me and how awful I am, so she's just being nice to me. I can tell myself that story all the time. Where do you think that comes from?

Probably not being wanted as a child, having no love, you know, the general inner child trauma that exists within us all. obviously dad it's a nervous laughter there sorry dad love you I don't even know I'm bothering my dad's still not figured out how to listen to a podcast okay so my mum this is really good because my mum thinks that she's listening

to the podcast right which is great because obviously I've spoken about quite in depth about Johnny's dick and stuff so my mum went no if my mum listens to that she went no I have I have and I was like have you listen to her yeah I see it all the time

on Instagram so she thinks The podcast is the cutdowns that we're putting on social media. And I'm quite happy with that. Yeah, leave it there. Let's not abuse of that idea. No, the worry is when Johnny's mum works out how to use podcasts, then we're really having to have a rethink. Which actually is ironic because here's the next question.

And the final question. Question number three, what's your favourite sex position? That wasn't a real question. It's a real question. Thank God my dad doesn't know how to listen to. Do you know what? Asleep. Honestly, at this point, at this point in my life, to be honest,

if Jimmy could do it and not wake me up, I'd be fine. Okay, a little bit of necophilia. Well, I'm not dead. No, okay, you might as well be. Just dozing. Okay, so can I just ask? Because you did mention to me earlier that you're starting to get the flutters back a little bit. Yeah, so I was saying to Emma, because I've been on the HRT now,

I've been using the eustodel. And it's hard to know exactly where my... balance comes from because I'm obviously on so many drugs and medications. Ironically. But what I have realized is that now, back in the day when, you know, you were young and I was virile and it wasn't all dead down there, I used to get the fanny flutters when you saw like a sexy part on a TV show or something, right? Yeah. That stopped for a while. Yeah. You know, I... Nothing. Nothing. Nader. But recently, they've started to come back a little bit. And not even like particularly,

good chemistry-filled snogs on the TV like any kind of like little moment I'm like oh hello your little funny flutters are back so that's good see that was why I was going to get the old testosterone gel but you're there's no testosterone the one that you've got no testosterone but then I'm also on you know I'm on anti-anxiety I'm on ADHD you know

it could be any of the any of the above yeah a rhino horn a rhino horn trout semen have you got some for me I got some for you Okay, this was the most asked question off the back of last episode, last season, sorry. How does Johnny feel about the podcast and the things that you say on it? I mean, a little bit like your first question of who's the boss, Johnny has had to submit to the fact that it's going to happen.

And I can't, he wasn't happy. because what so what would happen is the podcast gets released on a Wednesday is still a Wednesday isn't it and that's when he drives

into London early morning so that would be his early morning listen so he would get into like his site meetings and just just before he'd go

and he called me and went you fucking what that's my day would start with you can't believe you actually said that my clients

could listen to my mum and I was like but they won't but they won't so you know I'm running the I'm running the gornlet

with this Go for it. Because, you know, let's see how... We're not pairing back this season, are we? No, we're not pairing back. Also, Johnny doesn't take himself too seriously. And it's not like I'm saying he's got a small cock. No, you did.

It's a big dingling. I'm still not really recovered from the way that you said dingling last season. Too much for me. Okay, question number two. Yes, yes. Do you want any more children? Yes. Oh.

I do. My heart does. Oh. My body doesn't, because it's... spent, my head is on the fence. Maybe you should enter, maybe you should lean into your, I know it's a while off, but lean into your like grandma era where you can enjoy the babies. That's coming. So you can enjoy the babies. Sorry, they're not, they're nine. I'm loving my grandma. I'm in there. Like, because, well, you know, my friend, our friend Anna's had a baby.

Yeah. Forty-three years old. I love her. She's bad shit crazy. Like, it's not for me, but the baby is just the most delicious thing. And I get for the first time the grandma era thing. I get it. I'm like, I love the baby, I smell the baby, I get all of that. Nothing. Nothing here. No ovary twitches, nothing at all. And I'm like, this is what grandparenting is going to be like. Did you ever get Broody after having the girls, though? Or did it stop off that? Were you like, now I'm done?

Well, listen, if I'm really honest, I had Billy. That was not great for me. A bit of a shit show. I think the only reason I had a second one was because I didn't want her to be an only child. child, but then the second birth was so amazing, so healing, that there was part of me that was like, I'll go for three, but I'd already had two girls, and I know myself well enough. If you could have guaranteed me a boy, I would have been on it in a heartbeat. Same. But three girls, no, nobody was going to enjoy that experience. So I was like, we're done, I'm out.

It's fun, isn't it, the girls and the perimenopause and the adolescence? There's a lot of words to describe it, but fun is not one of them. Next. No, next question. Well, funnily enough, favourite sex position, Emma. Okay. I was thinking about it when you were asked it.

So it depends really. It depends whether I want him to finish quickly. It's always a consideration, isn't it? Yeah. The selfish love. Sometimes I'll just be like, you need to empty that bullsack and I will take it.

Oh, I thought it was more like, I'm tired, let's get this over. I'm not going to, no, well, all that, all of the things, where you're doing it for them. What's the position for that? Selfish love. Yeah. Selfish love for him always flipped over doggy. And then for me, if I'm like, I'd need to get off and you could literally just be a vibrator.

So just lie there and then I'll just grind myself all over. So I'm on top. Ben, Ben, Ben, be my vibrator. Great job. All right, so let's move on. Penn's just taken a massive speakerboard. He's wishing that was something else, wasn't me? Because it's hotter than Satan's asshole in here, or it's our conversation.

There is that. We've decided to start recording on the hottest day of the year. So excuse the slightly sweaty top lip. I've tried my best. Little heads up. You may remember that last season was the first season that we co-hosted this podcast together. And as all creators must do, we've taken a little time over the break to figure out what worked and what didn't. And what we decided is that actually we were probably trying to cram a little bit too much into that.

Yeah, there were two meaty, two topics, too meaty. Too meaty. We didn't have enough time to do them justice. Second topic always took a bit of a backseat. So this season we're doing something a little bit different and it is going to be one of us in the driving seat every episode with our own topic. And this week, Emma is popping the season three cherry by taking the lead. Love a woman who dominates.

Do you though? No, I hate it. I like to be in charge. So Emma, she's laughing because it's, she knows it's true. and I know it's true and I'm not proud or happy about it but it is the way it is probably why we work so well

it really works well It's a little bit why I chose Jimmy I'm an addict I chose a codependent I'm a narcissist I chose a codependent Here we go Moving on

Isn't least I'm aware Yeah I'm going first Which you know unusual for me You thought I might take in the first lot I know but you've been busy with your book

So it's fine it's fine it's fine What you're talking about You're never the only one Who doesn't like your friend's partner do you oh do you know what though that's a lot and every single one of my friends

that's listening right now is going fuck is it me isn't it or maybe they're going it's Johnny this is it there is the flip side to it but listen in the wise words of Victoria Emma

Jerry Melby and Melcy yes yeah the Aristotle of our era the real philosophers of our generation I mean honestly and they had it right when when they said, if you're going to be my lover, you can't get with my friends. It's true.

Which I thought a bit, I overthought that a little bit too much and I don't, you know, get with my friends. Yeah, how far are we getting? Yeah, exactly. We're not doing mum talks. We're not going to be friends if you get. Mormon, sister wives things. Yeah, exactly.

But studies have shown that the more support a romantic relationship gets from friends and from family, then the more likely it is to succeed. But how important is it for you that you're friends. friends and your friends and your partner get along. So from my perspective, in the kind of transient heady, carefree days of, you know, kind of teen, adolescence, uni, whatever, I think, I couldn't give it, you know, early 20s, do you know, it's fine. I don't think it matters, you know, it's not so problematic, but right now, right now, I am at the stage of my life where my time is so precious. You know what I mean? I think all of us can relate to this. Time is so precious

that I just, you know, ultimately I want to spend it with people that are effortlessly fun for me, that I, that spark joy in me that, you know, particularly if you're coming to stay at my house. Yep. And I've got, I have to say, I'm really, really lucky. Like all of the friends I've met through Johnny and the wives that they've married, it's all worked out really well. I feel like I've kind of hit the lottery with that. Great. But. Good for you. But, but, but.

You know, and that is lucky as well because when you think about it as females, generally we're in charge of the social calendar, don't you find? Well, yeah, I mean, I've just written a book about it. Yes, exactly. So Johnny would be like... Sorry, did I mention I've written a book?

Yeah, yeah, you'll come to that. But, Johnny, you know, we'll be always like, yeah, yeah, get the girls to put something in the diary. Sorry, we're sharing a calendar. Why can't you do it? But anyway. So, yeah, I think this is probably something that women are going to get a bit more

the men do about the kind of getting on with the partners and friends and all that kind of thing. So I think because you dictate really how it plays out. So, for example, I had a situation where a friend who I worked with very closely, we became really tight. As you often do kind of in your late 20s, early 30s with work colleagues, it kind of became. It's the dominating like arena of friendships in your existence. And it's great. And actually, you know, it worked and it worked for so long and I started going out with Johnny along the same time as she started going out with a friend of mine who was also working there and so we became this really strong for ball and it was it was wonderful it for so many amazing memories right um and then their relationship ended and they

both moved on and um obviously Johnny and I stayed together we tried to kind of maintain that the two things hard isn't it's like who do you get in divorce yeah it was like that and then um I kind of introduced her to this, like, handsome young man that I met on my hendoo. We were there together. We were at a festival. And I was like, she's single. I love her. She's great.

You're hot and you live near her and you're funny. And I think, wicked, this all work because we'll all get on. But just to be clear, this was somebody that you sort of met in the festival setting. Yeah. So you only got that side of him. Yeah. Well, yeah. But I had died to do a dare.

I got chatty. He was just really, I found him really funny. He was a bit off the wall. Really liked him. So I was like, you need to meet my friend. Anyway, their relationship continues to this day. Oh, great. Not great?

Ours doesn't. Oh. Yeah. So basically, we entertained them once. It came around to the house. Johnny just couldn't find the common ground with him. And I was like, hey, he's great. You know, he's a bit kind of off the wall.

And he was like, no, it's not working. It was like chalk and cheese. And I kind of persevered with it, but it became quite apparent that, this new set up, the friendship kind of... But you still liked him? Yeah, I liked him. But it was him and Johnny that just didn't gel. Him and Johnny didn't.

And then kind of like, they lived further away from us. We moved further away, as happens. And we just never got the invite. It was never returned from when we... It goes back to that idea of being discerning, isn't it? It's like you don't have enough time to spend with everybody. Right. And so naturally,

you end up cutting the wheat from the chaff. Yeah. But we had had them over. There's no big blow up. No, no, no. So it kind of was their turn in the sense. But it never happened. And then there was like festivities we weren't invited to.

Anyway, it came round to my 40th, I think my 40th birthday party. And had I not invited them, it would have been a statement. Yes. Got it. And I thought, I don't want any drama. So anyway, he came to the party. didn't really know anybody apart from a few of our mutual friends. And Johnny, who hates him.

And Johnny, you know, he was like, Johnny was in such a good mood. Anyone could have been there. But the fact is that he ruined that. Because he just got really walloped and was really inappropriate with other friends and female and male. And just was like, people are like, who's the weird guy? And he's freaking me out and stuff he's talking about.

And it was all like... And how long had they been together at this point? Oh. We're talking like years and years. Years now. Oh, okay. Right? So it was like, oh my God. And then, you know, and I didn't, I'd never said anything because I also wanted to make sure that if she wanted to open up to me, you know what I mean? I just didn't want to ruin our friendship. And I thought, I still want to be there in case it does go tits up because I also felt a little bit responsible. Because I basically created this whole shit show. It's my fault. It's your fault because of like a half an hour encounter with a guy who's probably off his tits at a festival. No, he wasn't at the time. Honestly, he was lovely. I mean, I still think he was. okay until I think as a friend I would like if somebody's setting me up I would like my friends

to vet them a little harder I'm just saying I just a little bit more time a little bit more care I feel like I'm quite a good judge's character well not here okay so you know just for next time a little bit more safeguard so we've put on this amazing party for my 40th really big I had to be quite selective as well, but who was there, because there was only so many, like, bedrooms in this house we'd hired out anyway. So, you know, we're there and all our nearest and dearest and Johnny starts giving this really heartfelt speech and everyone's standing there, right? And he's, you know, I love, you know, I love it all this kind of, and then he just starts, this guy starts going, boring!

Oh, I just standing. I mean, to be very sounds like a twat. And I looked over And I was there And everyone was going Johnny was trying to carry And Johnny kind of threw him off And he went Uh anyway

He's going to speech What's wrong with people? And I looked to my friend Yeah what did she Was she like shut the fuck up? She was just sat there going And that was That was it

That was the moment That was the moment That I just kind of thought No it's done It's done It's done. There's no love there. It's done. It's done. I would be mortified. Oh my God. If my husband started behaving like that, even if I thought the speech was boring.

Yeah. Even if I thought, it's my friend's birthday, I would be like, shut the fuck up. I know. Get in the car, go home. Well, obviously, don't drive because you're pissed. But there was numerous times that she should have done that. And I was like, it's just him, it's just him. But this was, no, no, no, no, done. And so basically the friendship from that point on just dwindle, There was the odd message back and forth. I'd hear whispers from other friends about how she'd be like, she's not committed to this friendship.

She's not putting anything in. About you. About me. My lack of effort, I wasn't asking enough about how her kids were, you know, blah, blah. And I was just like, do you know what? It'd be just getting this thing. It became this thing that just hung over me.

It was just hanging over me the whole time. And it was just this bad juju. It's like this energy. And I was like, and every time I get together with the friends, we talk about it. Because it feels unfinished. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, there was this part.

to me that was hanging on to all these lovely memories and then one day I just was like you know what this is it's done and it's it's you've got to sometimes accept that these friendships are transient and they don't pass the test of time sometimes you know what I mean and I think and they feel so she was a bridesmaid at my wedding you know this was a really strong friendship you know and that and among other some other contributing factors I ended up I sent a message to her last year and I said to I love you and I... But I don't like you right now that we do to our kids.

You know, well that's the thing. It wasn't that. It just, it petered out, you know? It's just a natural progression. I love you. I love all our memories. I wish the best for you, for him,

for your family. I didn't talk about what had happened. I didn't, you know, and I just said... Can I ask you a question? Do you think that that relationship, that friendship would have peter out if she'd not been with this guy?

I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, the guy didn't help, let's be clear. No. I don't think so. You think you would have stayed for? I think we would have stayed, maybe not as good, but we still would have seen each other and there would have been. And maybe if it was someone different, there would have been more effort. Because there's other friends from that group that still, that also live far away. So she's still there? No, I broke up with her.

But she's still in your friendship circle with other people? With one other person, yeah, with one other person. And that's, you know, and they went to her wedding recently and all this. But it's the best, I'll tell you what, it's the best thing I ever did. It's the best thing I ever did. It's quite powering, isn't it? Oh my God. Where you're like, there's no drama.

I mean, there was actually a bit of drama, but I'm not going to make a drama out of it. This relationship, this friendship is done. And we talked about this last season. There's no language for when you break up with a friend or when a friendship dies. Yeah. It's really hard to process. And I think that, especially if the person that she loves and is spending her life with is the reason, you can't, you're never going to beat that.

She's always going to choose him. And you know what? Good on her. I mean, it's weird. I don't get it. He sounds like an absolute cockwumble. But it's, but you can't win and that's fine. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, look, I think it's, I didn't say a lot of people like, why don't you say anything about, you know, I've got friends that are now coming out of marriages and they're kind of testing the murky waters. We are in that period of life, aren't we? We've been through like wedding, well, we've done like 18th to 21st, weddings, babies. Yeah. Now we're in divorces. It's just 50th and funerals for me at the moment.

There's no kind of... I'm not in the 50th. Yeah, I'm there. But I've got no qualms about telling those friends. Like, if, you know, if I spot any red flags, do you want to mean? If that person's kind of... I don't know. Because, you know, when you're in that kind of euphoria of the honeymoon period, you just don't see anything. You just don't see anything.

Particularly if you've come out of a bad relationship or whatever, you're just so grateful. Yes. To be desired and to be loved. Yeah, it's heady, isn't it? All this stuff, like, I think it's even harder to spot the red flags because I think also as women, particularly if you've got kids, you still have that feeling of maybe I'm coming with children, I'm coming with, you know. Yeah, you make excuses because you want something to work, right? Yeah, so I feel like those kind of friends need more protection than ones who didn't have that, do you know what I mean, coming with them? So I'll always, you know, if they're just thinking with their fanning, I'll always be like, hey, hey, he's a gun, you know what I mean?

And they'll be like, oh, yeah, yeah, it turns out you were right, you were. And that's fine. That's fine. If you're just thinking with your family, that's all you want out of it. Yeah. But like, because often, actually, in my experience, some of the most, this is really terrible to say, but it's not wrong. Some of the worst men I dated were the best shags. Yeah.

This is happening with so reason. Do you know what I mean? But the sex is so good. I know. And I think it is a weirdly abusive thing. Like I think there is that kind of like. They treat you really badly, but like the set, I think there's something weird. It's not good.

It's not healthy. It needs unpacking now. So much needs unpacking. But I do it's funny because I have a friend who is just getting divorced very messy. Very, very messy. And as much as I enjoyed the company of her ex in the time that we spent, we were never to get, we didn't spend. We didn't spend heaps of time together. Yeah.

I always had this, like, inkling, you know, like, spidey sense that was like, he's not as good a guy as everybody thinks he is. Really? And I, and the thing is, it's like... So you're feeling quite smug? Super smug. Fucking, I told you so, bitch. No, obviously not.

But I think it's really, it's about how you deal with it. I didn't want to lose her friendship. Yeah. And at the time, he was still behaving fairly like a normal, regular, reasonable human. You've got a tread so carefully. You're a tread really, really carefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you mentioned it earlier as well.

You know, another thing to think about is, what if the shoe's on the other foot? Well, yeah. What if they don't like your friends? Do you know what I mean? What if you get with somebody? What if your friends don't like your partner? What if you get with someone as a woman? Yeah.

And, you know, they're like, I don't like your mates. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, Jimmy didn't like my friends. There's got to be many situations where people end up losing friends because their partner doesn't like them is. Yeah, Jimmy doesn't like, didn't like my friends. Because, I mean, mostly because my friends... Do you like me? I mean, I'm not sure now's the time to have this conversation. He does. He really likes you. Does he? Yeah, he really likes you. So hard to tell. He gives nothing away. I know. He gives nothing away. It's like when I say, we're showing some content I've made and I'm like,

is this funny? And he goes, yeah, it's great. I'm like, can you tell your fucking face? It's so true. Or, I'll never forgive him for this. When I showed him something, you went, I'm not your target audience I was like I love hearing bad shit about Jimmy because just for a second Johnny looks okay Just for a million second

Jimmy didn't like my friends Largely because a lot of my friends When we were first dating In fact until I got sober really Were just piss head friends And he doesn't drink He doesn't drink But also it's not about whether he drinks

About the fact that I just behaved badly When I was drinking So I was always like I'll be home at a certain time And I was never home And then I would always blame my friends Whether it was true or not Like oh so and so had a disaster so we had to look after or, you know, like, all that nonsense.

You were the disaster. And the problem that's me. So he just never had a very good feeling about, he didn't want to hang out with them. Fair enough, right? And now that I'm not drinking and the friends I have left over are the friends that I really love and are probably, he loves those friends. But, yeah, and also Jimmy isn't, I think there's, Jimmy takes some warming up to. Right.

He's very, he's the kindest man I know. but socially he's not initially great because he either does two things he goes really quiet or he goes really inappropriate like he just overcompensate and neither of those things are great I admire those things and other people because I'm so like,

like me like me, do you know what I mean? So when I see him like that I'm like God I wish I could like that. No, he just walks into every situation going nobody likes me and I'm not going to like anybody so I'll just shut up. But he doesn't overcompensate for it like we do? No, but he goes the other way And so his inappropriateness can sometimes be horrific.

And I'm like, and he'll leave. And I'll be like, guys, I'm really sorry. Like, I just want to, this is not. This is his awkwardness. But he still wouldn't shout boring in the middle of a heartfelt speech. He would never do that. We asked you, if you could relate to this. And you did not disappoint.

I feel like, I feel like some of these, I'm just like in like an episode of, I don't know, EastEnders. and it's like, I'm not your mother! Do you know what? I haven't listened to the voice notes, so I'm excited. Okay, right.

So we'll get to the voice notes in a minute. Okay. Let's have a little look, see what if I got here. I will start with... Oh, I think... We came in strong, actually, with a comment on the Instagram post where I did ask for feedback on this with...

I haven't talked to my brother in two years because his wife is a bitch. Yeah, I said it, Diane. Feel free to quote me. Please, I hope her name really. is Diane. Hope it's not like a Sandra placeholder, you know, like that kind of Karen thing. Diane,

you've got some work to do. Love it, like straight in there. Straight in. So we're so happy to have that platform. What about if your family's partner is, I'm trying to think if there's anybody I don't like in my family. No, there isn't really. But that's really hard because you can't just cut off that. You still have to see them at Christmas and all the rest

of it, don't you? Hard relate. That's hard. Right, so. Poor Diane. Here we go. Regarding the podcast, it won't let me email. But I thought I'd say that I've never done that. I've always been supportive of them, even if they don't like their... Boring!

I'm not you're joking. Oh, sorry, whoever's that. I just went for the gag. It's not boring. I'll start again. It's so rude, cat. I've never done that. I've always supported them. Good for you.

Even if I don't like their partner. But I'd sit and give dirty... See, you didn't give chances. But I'd sit and give dirty... looks to the partner, or just leave it if it got too bad. So there was some, there was some, however, however, there's more. Bring it on. My ex-best friend did this to me. She slowly stopped talking to me. I'm just checking. This isn't my mate. Okay. Is it me? My ex-best friend did this to me. She slowly stopped talking to me and made it a big deal when I got into my first proper

long-term relationship that wasn't more than a few months. She never even met the guy, nor did I talk about him, but she didn't like the fact that my time was being split. Yes, that's what I was going with. I don't think that's about the boy. I think that's about a jealousy thing. Yeah, massively. I took her flowers because she said she felt ill. Turned out she was just trying to edge out the friendship because I got into a relationship. She told a friend in common it was because she couldn't stand to be friends with me because my time was being split. She's got no shame. Evenly, I must add, between her and him. So this poor woman was trying to split her time. I mean, you shouldn't even have to think about that,

But bless her, she was trying. Surely there needs to be a natural understanding that as, when you're friends, as you start to get boyfriends and husbands, inevitably they are going to take up more of your time. Yeah, obviously. I mean... You don't need to be a twat about it. She needs a shag. The moment I knew was when she ghosted me because he took me to Brighton for a weekend

and she got the right ass that that fireworks night after. I don't know what's going on. Listen, I think you've had a lucky escape there. Yeah, exactly, exactly. No tears shed over that, over her. Shall we listen to your voice note? Shall we? I'm excited.

Okay, here we go. I don't know who this is from. So, my name's Haley. I have just seen Emma's post about the podcast and about whether you've had friends where you don't go on with their partners. And I also have had an experience of this where one of my very close friends dated a guy who was really on the tractor. Um, I could never understand what she saw in him. Plus he was really weird and a bit creepy. And then we went out for, this is quite a few years ago, we went out for my friend's 30th birthday. And he proceeded to try it on with both me and my other friend. Um, and our friend who was dating him was like completely, and laughing at him on the door. I was just like a whole shit show. Um, but yeah, we were like, nah, not interested. That's gross. Um, but we haven't really spoken.

They're still together. And, yeah, we don't speak because he's just very odd. Do you know what? Go on. He's also not very smart. Like, if you're going to fuck around... Yeah. I mean, the fact that you're going to do it with your friend there and with her friends

seems like a terrible idea. But she was seeing it and she was laughing. Maybe that's her kink. I mean, maybe. You just don't know. You feel like you need a little bit more consent in that, though, for the other people. Do I mean, if she's getting off on it, he's getting off on it. But they're using your friends to grind up against.

Probably not great. Anyway, they don't have to worry about it anymore. Okay, so here we got another one. Friends, partners that we don't like, I have a friend, well, had in capitals. I love the way that, you know what, sometimes I love when we get put out a topic, and you can just tell that there are some people who have been waiting. It's visceral, isn't it? Waiting for the opportunity to get that.

off their chest. Yeah, yeah. Well, Had, whose partner was so obnoxious and rude every time me and my friend talked on the phone, he would be shouting in the background. I was going through cancer treatment, and he said to me, at least your hair will grow back eventually,

and that he knew how I felt because he was bald. Bearing in mind, he shaves his head weekly through choice, right? I don't know what to do with that. Every time I see a picture of him on Facebook, I get so mad because she is such a lovely person and he is literally a moron. Do you know, I try my best to like not bash men? Yeah.

Because I think that it's overdone, right? I really do. I really try. And then I hear stories like that and I think it's a fucking uphill battle. I don't know why I'm bothering. Oh dear, I've not spoken to her since before Christmas. Not surprised.

Because I cannot stand him. I've never even actually met him in person. I can't believe he said that to you and he's not even met your own person and they got engaged in the New Year and she didn't tell me because she knows that I cannot stand him it's sad but also nope

I don't need morons in my life I also don't like my neighbour's husband Oh she's, listen she's on a rampage He's an idiot too And I actively avoid him In five years of friendship I've been to her house twice She's at mine all the time And it's purely because I literally want to commit violence

against this man every time I see him I love you not that's the same person I love you lot so yeah it is oh these are wonderful thank you guys

let's listen to another voice okay another pod another whatever who am I what's my name what we're doing hey Emma it's Gail for Rock and Rebellion Hi Gail

I'm at Rock and Rebellion we love them love in the pod thanks it's a great listen glad your girls are back I just wanted to share with you my experience with friendships and partners. Last year, I held a garden party and had to tell a friend of mine that she was invited, but her husband wasn't. That's bold. Actually, no, no, for years and years and years.

Really awkward conversation. He had done something previously to make me not want to invite him. My husband put his foot down as well and said he's definitely not. coming, so obviously he was doubling down on the decision. Needless to say, it went down like a sack of cold shit. No longer speak to my friend who's record for a year. There's no coming back from this. Really awkward, really sad, actually. But it was just something that I had to do. And, you know, her husband wasn't welcome at our house. So, yeah. that's my sad story.

It does make it so difficult at this stage because you do everything in couples, don't you? Really? Yeah, you do. With kids, with families, you tend to. There's a lot less girls nights out. I want to know what you did. I know, me too.

I want to know what you did to get to the point where he's not welcome at their house. Yeah. Because I feel like that's important information. Like, because I want to assess whether that's her being reasonable or her just being tricky. Yeah, well, based on knowing gay. Like, from what I do know of her, Rock and Rebellion,

amazing, by the way, jackets. Have you got one? No. You need one. Gail, can we get one, please? Oh, is that your one with the... We need one of these. We do, we need a jacket with that on the back.

Yes. Come on, Rock and Bellion, we'll wear them. Oh, sorry, we are pointing, if you're listening. Oh, yeah, sorry. If you are listening on Spotify or Apple podcast, we're pointing at our new neon sign, which says you're never the only one, because that's the name of our podcast.

A little bit more branding. Also, if you're watching, you'll notice we're in a new studio? Yeah, it's lovely. It's basically a little holiday. We've wangled for ourselves every week, isn't it? Oh my God, it's stunning. Okay, have got any more?

We have, actually. Go, go, go. I think we've got a couple more emails. Hi, Emma, hope you well. I'm on the flip side of this. My partner is a nightmare, and I think people avoid me because of him. He's like a giant teenager. Very loud, inappropriate, and really rubs people up the wrong way.

You've actually met him. Oh, I can't wait. at wilderness again I was thinking is this my friend? Yeah yeah yeah she said you've met him at wilderness festival

and I was like oh shit and then I realized it's when you actually met him a wilderness festival when he tried to sell you our child

Sophie you mentioned her one of your stories she's a beautiful little kid and I was wearing this did you consider it she was very cute so yes as you know what I'm like

so I go to festivals I want to be child free and then I find the nearest child and play with them like for fun There's a lot about you, I will never understand that. So she's just like him, she said. Help me.

Anyway, he's my child, not my husband, and will always be more trouble than anyone I've ever met. I think I've lost friends because of him. Underneath all the bravado, she says, he's actually a good guy. I do remember him. I remember him very clearly and his snazzy suit. And actually, you know, I did get that.

You know, he just, he still wants to have a lot of fun. He's a big kid. and he's still up for, yeah, and she was very much kind of... Peter Pan syndrome. Yeah, and she was very much having to kind of keep an eye on their daughter. And I remember that, but honestly, I get it. And you know what, if it just lets loose every now and then at a festival, then it's...

And often that kind of, like, silliness and overcompensate, it's just like a bit of nerves or fear or insecurity. Right. So it's like, it's a bit like Jimmy. Sometimes you just need to give them a bit of time. Yeah. Give them a few chances. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I thought he's lovely. And Katie, I won't read out the rest of what you said, because it was all about you and how wonderful you were. Yeah, basically. Oh, was it? Yeah. Oh, go on. Loves you since I do. Boring. Boring. Sorry. That is going to be. Sorry. That is going to run and run.

Yes, running. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Okay, great. We've got one more. I think we have one that came in just before we came on. Well, we've got a voice note and at the third voice note. Amazing. Yes, so here we go. I hope I put the right phone number in. This is for the story. We just have to pause that.

Can we rewind? Can you imagine if she didn't. She sent it to like the PTA or something. Can't wait, right. House shared with a girl, we'll call Samantha. And she had a boyfriend whose real name was Hamish. Unfortunately, Hamish was married. And his wife had just had a child.

I wasn't too happy about this, but, you know, kept myself out of it until he started coming over literally every single night. So I named him Habish McNobb. He left his toothbrush there, which obviously was brilliant for... I know where this is going. I'm actually my bottom hole. He used to leave his jacket on the bottom of the stairs, and I'd try and find the biggest bony I could find

and wipe that under the collar of his coat. It was very childish, but I did not like Hamish McNobb. I can't breathe. I think it's the last to move out, so obviously he went as well. So, yeah, that was my shameful story. Wow. That needs to go on Friday Confessions. That's amazing.

It's when she used to use it to scratch her bum hole. Oh, my God. I love that. But I love the secretness of it as well. He probably never knew, well, maybe until he got some sort of viral thrush infection in his mouth. But he never, worms. He ever got worms. Not that she had worms, but, you know, if you put poo in the wrong hole, you get worms, right?

Is that what it is? Yeah. I told you my worms story. I don't think I want to hear it. I think you do. Ben, do we want to hear her words story? Do we have time for a little worms? Oh, thumbs up.

There you go. Right. Well, first of all, it wasn't me. It was my kids. Right. Got worms. worms as a child that didn't really see. I think I thought it was some sort of Victorian disease. Like pleuracy. Yeah like smallpox, eradicated. Yeah. It's not. And it's a very

real thing. And basically, let me put this down. Basically, if it gives, you know, if kids don't wash their hands properly in whatever way and they get a little bit of fecal matter or dirt, whatever, in their, they get worms. Now, I didn't know this. But all I knew is that my kid would come to me in the middle of the night and my bum hole's really itchy. And I'd be like, oh, you'll be fine you know I didn't know what it was yeah spoke to a friend of mine she went oh she's got worms and I was like what say what she said she told you to get the torch out that's exactly what she said she said go at when they're asleep because they only come out they're nocturnal these worms they only come out at night go when she's asleep she was still only little she had like a nappy on

yeah maybe two or three in bed pull a nappy down just spread her butt cheeks and shine a torch on it and you'll see yeah and I was like what is this witchery yeah I went, I did it, and they're like tiny little pieces of white cotton. And as soon as you shine, they're torching them. They're like that out of the bum hole. I've never seen anything like it. I was fascinated and disgusted in equal measure. I took Jimmy, I was like, Jimmy!

Come to see this! He has never, I would hazard a guess, that that might be the single most traumatic experience he's ever. had was seeing those threadworms come out of our child's like they literally do a little dance yeah you know like those dancing flowers you get honestly you do that too well can we make that a gift yeah anyway so jimmy has never really recovered yeah but the worst thing about worms is the fucking admin involved because obviously you all have to take the pill yeah just a pill the actual medication's easy take a pill and the eggs can fall and the eggs hang around the carpet for two weeks.

Two weeks. You've got to change the bed sheets every day. Vacuum every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I swear to God, it would have been easier to put her up for adoption. I know. Honestly, it happened recently.

It's the worst. And then it happened again after, and Barley came into me crying, going, I'm sorry, I've done it again. I thought she'd broken something, but because she saw how, it almost pushed me over the edge because the amount of laundry and towels

and I couldn't stay on top. of it and I was like, and I had, honestly, and she, so when she realized she had it again, she came in and she just went, honestly, it's, it's just, oh, they're just awful, aren't they? I'd take nits, I'd take nits over worms. I love nits. What's wrong with you? Who, who doesn't love nits? Everybody. I mean, I have to say, now that I've got extensions in, I'm slightly more scared of nits because it's a, like I'd have to go and have them taken it. Yeah. Nobody wants that. But when it's my kids, Itchy head, we shove the stuff on, do the thing.

I get to sit there all night, scrape through, find the little buggers. There's nothing more exciting. You're like, I've got one, I've got one. You're like, look, everybody has a look. Yeah, put it under the camera. Put it under the camera and magnify it. Yeah. And it's like squeezing spots.

It's the same joy. And, you know, they're, I mean, it's a laborious process, but it's enjoyable. Ben, do you remember just before we started recording? I don't know what's coming back. The last thing that Kat said was, and we were. You've got to be, make sure we don't go off on a tangent. Okay, fine. Right, okay.

Okay. All right. Well done. How did we get for that? Now, did we have one more email you said they came in this morning? Oh, we do have one more email. Yes, it did come in this morning. It says, okay, this is an interesting subject.

So I always keep my mouth shut if I didn't like someone's boyfriend, husband or partner. But one time I met up with two of my best friends and their boyfriends in New York City. I was single at the time, so was the third wheel. And I didn't care because I got to see my friends. Yeah. We stayed at one of the girls apart. She lived with her boyfriend and the other friend

was flying in with her new beau So I love the word Use of the word bow I feel like it elevates this podcast a little bit Definitely does Something had to offer that last girl Fair enough Who she was desperately in love with

Long story short We're all staying in the same apartment Because New York's expensive Each girlfriend Did not like the other's boyfriend At all Each girl was gossiping about it to me secretly the whole time

That's painful You don't want to spend spend your time doing that, do you? Oh, a shitty holiday. It was so awkward. It literally broke their friendship because each of them ended up marrying their guys.

She has stayed friends with each couple but never brought that weekend up again. Yeah. So awkward. Oh. It's just a bit sad, isn't it? It is a bit sad. It is a bit sad.

But I think we are learning as we get older. Your time, as I said, when I started, your time is so precious. It is. Sometimes you've got to be brutal and just go right. who out of those, you know, 365 days a year of those like few weekends that I have

Yeah, that's it My kids aren't doing shit and dominating it Who do I want to spend it with? Who's going to spark my joy? Yeah. And it's not tracts like that. I hear you. And also, you know, some of these guys

did offensive things. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's not like, oh, I just don't get on with him. Yeah. It's like, actually, you're wrong. You're a wrongan. You're a wrongan.

You're a wronging. If the topic of not liking your friend's partner has rubbed up relatedly... I'll start that again, shall I? It's the menopause. If the topic of not liking your friend's partner has rubbed up relatively against you like a horny cat smothering you in pheromones... You don't make life easy for yourself, do you? No, I mean, I wrote it myself.

I only got myself to blow. Or maybe it's made you madder than a pissed on chicken. Nice. That's not me. That's Captain Lee from Below Deck. If you ever need a great, like, pithy saying, Google Captain Lee sayings, below deck, cracking ones.

We'd love to hear your take. Yeah, absolutely. We will be sharing them on socials. It's still, you've still got time to get involved and tell us your I hate my friend's partner stories. Yeah. Or my partner hates my friends. Or my partner's friends hate me.

Yeah, because we can do. We haven't had any of that. We can just do like some bonus. We haven't had anyone where the girls are hated. No, that's true. Do you know why? Because I don't think men. No, they do. They do.

Really? Yeah. Really? But I don't think men make the drama out of it. I don't think they take it as emotionally. Maybe we need to take a leaf out of their books. Maybe we do. Okay, so make sure you email us at You're Never The Only One at gmail.com

or send us a voice note or a message as ever on 0745740-704. If you're doing a voice note, please try and keep it to around 60 seconds. I thought it was 90. 90 seconds. Also, I thought I was supposed to read that. part. It says my name above it. He's so dominating.

Listen, I don't know. Yeah. We'll be back next week. We will. And Kat is taking the helm. Helm, it sounds sexy. Well, it's just what Johnny calls the top of this. Yes, that's exactly where my brain went.

Yep, good. Glad we're on the same page. And I'm basically the female version of Johnny. No. What are we going to be talking about next week, Kat? Well, that's a good thing or a bad thing. Next week, we're going to be talking about you. You're never the only one who thinks we're doing sex ed all wrong.

What do you mean? I want to know what your approach at home is to teaching your kids about sex. I want to know, do you talk openly about it? Do you have funny names for your kids' body parts, or do you use the anatomically correct words? Do you get naked? Are you comfortable? Are you one of these people that walk around naked in the house is naked as normal? Do you think schools are teaching sex ed in the right way?

Get in touch. And also, actually, I'd like to know what was your sex ed like at school as well, if at all. Yes. If at all, I don't remember much about mine, apart from biology lesson. So we didn't have this PSHE nonsense. What's that sound for? Personal, social, health education. Okay.

I don't know, something like that. Let's go with that. Ben, there's a thumbs up. He looks like he knows. There we go. What was I say? Where was I? Who am I?

Where we're doing? Get in touch. Get in touch using any of the methods that Emma mentioned before, or that I mentioned because I stole her lines. Exactly. And they'll you. She writes it all. This is not my fault, okay? To be fair, I just, I didn't, I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't make a conscious choice. I just didn't see the Emma and I carried on time. We have it all in the show notes, oh, me? Yes, Lorby in the show notes, all of that stuff too. So get in touch using any of those methods, and they will be in the show notes. And probably also listed on Instagram page. So head there, if in doubt. And with that, peace out, motherfucker.

Sorry. Sorry, I don't know what to say. It's not written in the screen. Let's leave. Cat and Emma sign off. Theme tune. Outcho. Everybody makes mistakes.

Cue music. You're never the only one is written and presented by Kat Sims and Emma Nicolay and produced by Radiant Management. Executive producers are Katie Ray and Paramee Codicara. Podcast operations are managed by Shell Rigini, who also expertly takes care of the podcast social media. and our theme tune Everybody Makes Mistakes is written and performed by the band Hot Salad.