You're Never The Only One - Got Catfished? You're Never The Only One...

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

This week Cat and Emma share outrageous tales of catfishing from their own experience and yours! You will not believe your ears.If you've got something to say about catfishing, or about any other topics we discuss this season (or just a cracking story you know we'll love) then get in touch NOW!Email: [e-mail]: 07457 402704DMs: @yourenevertheonlyoneSupport the podcast by subscribing to the You're Never The Only One channel, hitting FOLLOW wherever you listen to your podcasts and dropping a 5⭐️ review. Thank you!Cat & Emma x

You're never the only one who's been catfished. You can get up to a fifth position. Listen, I'm going to be honest, neither of us have exactly got a ballet frame, have we? My mum had me in everything. Could you have thought about this before you got me naked? I can't do this. Maybe it was the smell. No, he...

Anyway, continue. Emma, now I know that spotty-bottie isn't a problem that you struggle with because I have seen your perfectly peachy bottom. But for the less fortunate among us, blemished buttocks are an everyday battle. Because you're never the only one with a spoty-bottie. But I finally found the answer. SBC skincare. SBC stands for Simply Beautiful Collection.

But it could just as easily stand for Simply Beautiful Cheeks, smooth buttocks cream, Sionara bum carbuncles. We get the idea and I know you love it. I know you do. The hero product for me is their salicylic body wash followed by the hyaluronic gel concentrate. I have fallen for SBC because it's British made. It's cruelty free.

It's affordable. And do you know what I love? The fact that it began as a professional salon product line for beauty therapists, I trust it. And I've been trialling their fan favourites, including their iconic moisturising gels like that hyluronic gel. And I honestly am loving it.

Oh, and their onica products. great for aches and pains as well. And then there's their night ritual rain. Oh my God. I love it. So good. Candle smells divine. And I've noticed they've got some wicked gift sets too,

which I'm going to be adding to my Christmas list immediately. Well, Jimmy is going to be delighted, Cat, because he can save 20% of all SBC skincare products with the code Y-N-T-O-O-20. Head to sbcciscan-C-Ccare.com. And use the code Y-N-T-O-O-20. One slight problem, cat. What's that? I'm pretty sure you're on the naughty list.

Oh, for goodness, thank. It's survival of the shippers this morning. Right. Hello and welcome to episode nine. I'm Kat Sims and this is You're Never the Only One as we rocket towards the final furlong of season three. I wanted to thank my co-host Emma, who this season has managed to make it through

without being late, without trying to rearrange a recording session because she got a better offer, and for showing us all that when it comes to running, she's less Usain Bolt and more Buccaroo. Okay, listen, right, that first of all, Okay. I love that you're going to throw yourself under the bus in.

She's like, actually, you know, I did try and rearrange that recording session because I got free ticket to Soho House Festival and there was tequila on tap and do you know you get lobster? And I was like, I don't give a shit. We've booked it in. I mean, I think that's strong. That shows my commitment to the podcast. And to be fair, when I was offered it, I said, I don't think I can come.

No, what happened was, you messaged me going, any chance we can rearrange because I've been offered a ticket on Thursday, I'd quite like to go. Didn't tell me what it was. And I said, no, because it's also my publication date. I've rearranged a lunch for the podcast, commitment. Kiss, kiss, kiss. She wrote back, okay, full stop. What am I supposed to say?

What a kiss would have been nice? Oh, sorry, because it wasn't a kiss. You were mad. I was rushing. I wasn't mad. Actually, that kind of stuff doesn't make me mad. Anyway, so her house festival, I hope you survived without the purple-haired wonder. Yeah, well, I've been getting lots of messages, apparently I missed out.

Anyway, I'm here today. But the Usain Bolt Bukaroo thing, fine with that. Yeah, I'm cool with that. That's fine. No lies here. I accepted that a long time. In fact, we got a new challenge that's been sent through to us. I saw that. Running with the same arm and leg.

Yeah. I reckon I can beat you at that. I think you're going to win. I'm excited. Yeah, let's do that. I'm excited. I'm excited, of course, as always, to be here with the lovely Cat Sims, who has swapped one addiction for another.

She has swapped alcohol for vintage, my friends. So no longer has she gone from making her own bad decisions. Now she's buying other people's. This is from Vinted. This top. Okay. But it was somebody else's bad decision. Yeah, but I make it work.

I mean, it's amazing that you do make it work because you're, because you've got quite broad shoulders anyway, haven't you? So it's a brave choice. Wow, the roasts keep coming today. It's a brave choice. I hate that when people go, it's really brave. That's the worst backhanded comment. Why do you think I say?

said it. Yeah, but you're not the first. This week I've been told I was brave twice by my mother-in-law, never a good thing, and I love you, Linda, and my uncle-in-law, that's the thing. Because we did, Jimmy and I did an interview on the radio, and we sent it to them to listen to, and they both came back and said, wow, that was brave. And I was like, oh, no, I've pissed somebody off. And I message back, because I like to deal with things.

Yeah. So I messaged back and I was that, sorry, what was that? Because I like to deal with things. Are you saying I don't deal with things? No, I was actually, no, but I think your reaction says quite a lot about how you're projecting. Yeah, projecting in a big way. Anyway, so I messaged back and I said, always a bit nervous when people say we're brave because I'm not great with boundaries.

Have I overstepped any? Yeah. And they did both go, no, no, no, it's fine. It's just really brave to talk about your relationship so openly. I was like, have you never seen anything I do on Instagram. I was going to say, wow, they better not listen to this. Anyway, it's a joy to be with you here, Kat. What we'd like to know is what's been going on in the world of Cat Sims.

Well, in the world, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's fine. I've been desperate to drop this in. Go. So in the words of the right, honourable Craig David. Can you fill me in? Well, on Monday and then on Tuesday and Wednesday took a little rest on Friday or whatever it is. I was really hoping you would do that and you didn't let me down.

And that bitch is why we're doing a podcast together. That's it. Men and Paws has hit quite hard this week. I drove to the post office because I had loads of parcels to send out and one of them was really big and heavy I couldn't carry it down. So I drove to the post office,

dropped all the parcels off, came home and walked in the door and I said, Jimmy, the car's been stolen. And he's like, what? I was like, it's not that. And you ran outside, he's like, where the fuck's car?

I don't know, I think it's been stolen. Like, genuinely, I was like, where the fuck is a car? I mean, it's not out of the realms of believability in your area either, is it? Totally. And I, we were like,

going through a million things, going, you know, what you do it? Jimmy's literally pressing 9-99 on the phone, and I suddenly realized I'd driven to the post office and walked back and forgotten. I was like, oh no, wait, wait, wait. I think I might have left the car at the post office. How did that happen? So you drove, it wasn't that you kind of were on the way back from somewhere. Did you go from your house?

To the post office. To the post office. Yeah, got out, put the parcels in the post office, walked out the post office store and walked home. How far are you from the post office? Not far, but the reason I drove was because... Because there was the heaviest parcel. So normally you would walk it.

Exactly. So I think that's what happened. How are you doing with your keys at the moment? Good. Because that was a thing for you. You were always losing your keys. I lost the master key to the car. Do you know how much that is to replace?

527 pounds. And then I said when we got it replaced, you was like, I'll have that one now. And I said, no, I don't want the crappy plastic one. Oh, my God. So I've still got the master key. But now I've got a massive key ring on my thing that has my phone number on it so it says on the back

if found please call and then it has my phone number on it I just put mine on a lanyard around my neck at all times I'm terrible with kids just really bad but we've got a lock box by the door so I can't lock myself out anymore great yeah it's like I'm almost a fully functioning adult but yeah so the perimenopause hit hard and I also got a new job this week hold on a minute hold on because the coffee's not quite kicked in

I don't remember hearing about you getting a new job Yeah, I told you. Oh, hold on a minute. Is this the, like, the proper, like, TV thing? Radio thing. Yeah. Yeah. The BBC.

The BBC. Well, I don't know if I'm getting paid for, I'm not getting paid, but the good news is it. I went on BBC London to promote the book with wonderful Shea Grawall and she was like, you should come back. I was like, I'll come back any time. I've never met a microphone I didn't love. And she said, well, we do this week and review thing every Thursday and we get people of note. Me. in to, and they choose their favourite stories of the week

and we hash it out for 45 minutes. I was like, I am there, sign me up, bitch. So I'm going on this Thursday. Okay, great. I see this is perfect for you. That immediately made my sphincter thinking of me doing it clench because I can't, you're so good off the cuff. I'm better off the cuff than writing.

You're so good at like stringy senses together off the book. But also, I, yet comedy, way better off the cuff. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So, but the thing is, when it comes to it, I mean, you know, it's a bit like, oh, isn't it? Everyone's got their opinion. So I just think that when it comes to things like, someone asks me, what's my thoughts on something? I'm too busy overthinking to giving a string of sex together. I would struggle with that so much.

It's like, but also you're prepared. It's not like they land the news stories on me. I pick the news stories so I know what I'm going to say. Oh, you'll have pre. Oh, you'll be amazing. And then the other person of note. creates them, that chooses their story.

So I respond to those, but generally I get to choose my, I get to choose my own stories to bring them in. Oh my God, that's incredible. So I'll be on every four or five weeks. Sorry, so how do we all find you? BBC sounds.

BBC sounds. You're going to be on BBC sounds. We are not going to fucking hear the end of this, are we? Never. We are not. I'm such a big fucking deal. Yeah, leave this thing in to me. So, is that it today?

It's quite a lot. Yeah, that's it. a lot. I don't feel like I haven't got anything. Oh no, I've got more. I don't know if you know this, but I nearly died in the car on the way here. I do know because I was driving. She was driving and we were on the motorway and she pulled from the granny lane into the middle lane and this other car pulled from the speedy lane into the middle lane. He didn't indicate you were drinking a coffee. I was on the phone telling my husband that the place I live is on fire and it was a very intense 35 seconds.

It proper was a wobble across. I mean, literally I had to avoid the articulated lorry on the left, the other cars on the right, and I did it all one-handed. Which was, don't drink and drive kids. I felt like a stunt driver. I felt like I was going to die.

That's what I felt like. And then afterwards, because you're so chill, like I've never seen you, Ragey. I could, the rage in Emmett. I could tell she was like following this car then she was like I was like let him go

she's like I'm fucking I was like just let him go she's like I'm gonna go part I'm just there was a lot of therapy talk coming out of your mouth I was like let it go hand it over

you know hand it over what does that even mean it's my favourite thing in the world you should fucking hand over step three baby what hand it over oh is that what it is

yeah okay control what you can grant me the fucking serenity to I've forgotten it It's because you're so many steps down the line That's why it's hard to remember the beginning stuff Well no this is the one that we say this prayer

At the end of every fucking meeting Okay We're not allowed to talk about this are you I cannot change courage to change things I can And the wisdom to know the difference It always feels a little bit like the end of the brownies to me I was kicked out the brownies Well

And ballet You got kicked out of ballet Who gets kicked out of ballet? Was it the shoulders? A little A little Can't get up to a fifth position. Listen, I'm going to be honest.

Neither of us have exactly got a ballet frame, have we? Like, let's be honest. I never came down a ballet frame. I was, no, my mum had me in everything. I got told off at gymnastics because I'd go straight to gymnastics from swimming and I had wet hair and they made the mats wet and that was, I got told off there. Then I went to brownies because I didn't have any fucking interest at all in ironing my dad's handkerchiefs and getting my own.

badge and I just thought it was a load of fucking nonsense. Yeah. And then ballet was not for me. Way too ADHD for ballet. Very slow. Yeah, you've got to be quite light on your feet as well, haven't you? What you're talking about? I'm like a gazelle.

I'm like a gazelle. A lame one. Reactions of a cat. I love you. A lame gazelle. I love you. Right. Anything else to show off about?

Is that it? Have you finished? Yeah. That'll do. I reckon. I am. Speaking of showing off, I woke up this morning and I was going to say this anywhere.

I was feeling a bit. Late. She was late this morning? I didn't wake up late. My alarm went off and I chose to stay in bed and look at my phone. Okay. Okay. Was I not ready on time?

Okay. The thing is, one of the things I woke up and saw this morning, which I think might have contributed to my bad mood is yet again another person on holiday. I'm not going away this summer and it's really bumming me out. I really want to go away. I know. I know. I know.

I know. Don't you get it for like free? Yeah, I know. But I just can't. With Johnny's job, I can't. I thought I was going to go away at sort of August. Jimmy gets back 11th, but I've just found out my Vanessa Feltscher on the 18th of August. Oh, you forgot to put that in, didn't you?

Vanessa Feltz. See you soon, Feltsie. Oh, exciting. Can't wait. But anyway, yeah. So I'm just feeling like everybody, everybody in their mate is on holiday. Like everyone I know. And I've been invited to go on ones and I've had to go, I can't come.

And I just really, really feel like I need a holiday. But why can't you go on holiday? Tell me. Johnny's work. So because... Well, why do you have to take Johnny? I don't want to go away without Johnny. I don't, I mean, not ideally, but if you want a holiday. And without their dad.

We're a unit. We go everywhere. We go together. And he needs a holiday more than I do. Well, then have a fucking holiday. Oh, I just can't. It's complicated. Do you know what I mean?

But it's basically because of, like, the line of work that he's in, it's beast or famine. Got it. And so if it's, you know, you've got a sticker and something comes up, it comes up and he's got to get it done. Anyway, I got this morning to my best friend who went away this week. She was, they've gone to Thailand for an amazing holiday. And she said, oh, you know, if you go on your birthday, they really make a big deal.

And it's her 10-year-old, my goddaughter, in the like first class bar. And they've got like a cake. And it's like, I was like, this is the love. So if you want to go away on your birthday and you go, I think they're on Emirates, that's what they do for you. I flew business class on Emirates once. Oh my God, I'd love to fly business class. I got upgraded because I was flying back from, I don't remember, but I had to stop over in Dubai,

and they came up to me and they said, would you mind taking the next flight in an hour? We've got a medical emergency and somebody, because I always ask for an upgrade. So because I'd ask for an upgrade, when it came to needing somebody. A free upgrade. A free upgrade.

Yeah. And then it rarely works, but occasionally they had this emergency. And because I'd asked, they came to me and said, look, we can put you on the next flight and we'll put your business class and give you a limousine home. Oh my, and a limousine home? Limousine home.

I didn't even know they did that. Are you okay to wait? I was like, yeah. I'll wait a week, babe. Anyway, wait a year now, got on. Jammies, beautiful, food, full layout bed. Is there like a curtain where you get changed into your jammies?

Or do you, you don't go to one of those little tiny toilets to put your jammies on, do you? But they're not that tiny in business. Are they big? Spacious. I wouldn't say they were spacious. Still a fucking airplane, but it was wonderful. Wonderful.

The thing is, The way I justify it to myself is... Ruin flying for me forever. If I'm going long haul, I just need a TV. Do you know what I mean? And I need to have enough room to like stretch my legs to go to sleep. Because that's all I'm going to do. I'm going to sleep through it.

So I feel if I'm in business class and they're going to give me a bed. Yeah. I have to. But how? How do you sleep on a plane? I mean, it takes a while to get off. But once I go, so I have like a shroud that I put over me. I can only imagine.

Because you travel here with like your own fucking pillow. Yeah. So I have this kind of like this very light shroud that I, because I'm a really ugly sleeper and I dribble. So it's a vanity thing. It's a vanity thing. So I put that over me and then I just kind of have to like zone out. But what do you, where do you rest your head?

So you just fall asleep sitting up? If you want to sponsor this episode, Turtle, I'm about to really tell you here. So I've got one of these, like, they're by turtle, these pillows. And they're like, they're just amazing, these, like, travel pillows. I just, I've never, I can never sit. I'm not on an easy jet. Not on an easy jet. No, well, on long haul flights, I just accept that I'm not going to sleep.

Yeah. And then it's fine. It's those times when you're like, oh, it's a night flight, I've got to sleep. And then I can never sleep. That's when I get Ragi. But if I'm like, I'm just not going to sleep. If you're going on a night flight, it's a waste going business class, because you're just going to sleep. Yeah, but you sleep in a bed.

It's delightful. And you don't sleep. It doesn't matter if you go free, anyways. Yeah. And they bring you some, like, gorgeous al-a-carp food. You can't even drink the champagne. Not anymore. I have to say, that is a bit of a bummer.

Yeah. We flew, we went through a period of flying premium economy on VA quite a lot because Jimmy had quite a lot of air miles so we could always, from travelling and touring. So we could always upgrade and that was like free champagne as soon as you walked out.

I wasn't sober then, it was great. Somebody told me that Bloody Mary's in the sky. Can't drink them, worse thing. Oh really? Because apparently they're so, they dehydrate you more than anything there's so much salt in them. Oh, because somebody just said to me they just taste better than any other, but I'm going to have to give that a go.

Well, they do and they don't. But that's a morning drink for me. That's not a, yeah sure it's me hi you're the problem which is a relief because normally it's me no but I do know what you mean about I like a good Bloody Mary

but yeah anyway this is one we'll tell you about the travel thing I suddenly remembered what I was saying back on track yeah they let it all that for a minute there we were just having a coffee even Ben's like we're gonna get back on track any time he's doing the twisty hand thing which means hurry the fuck up I've got other people that need to be in here

Okay, so this is what I want to talk to you about So summer holiday wise, despite having my own independent travel agent's license As you pointed out and getting all the perks come with that And not being able to use them And my own team, by the way now, I've got my own team Great job. Yeah, thank you. Tried to sign me up though. No, you weren't having it, were you?

No, I'll get you. Anyway, I haven't had time to look into it all. Although one of your team, I don't know if it was one of your team, but certainly one of them that did it through you. Yeah. She messaged me and she went, has I not managed to sign you up yet? She's like, you can always sign up with me.

Tell me who that is. I'm not telling you. Okay, fine. I said no to her as well. I love you and I really respect your journey, but it's not for me. Wow. It's amazing. It's pretty cuts her out there in that business.

I, ironically, get the worst. Yeah, exactly. I don't need that. I get the worst packing paralysis. Do you know, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I can't, I get really overwhelmed when it comes to packing a suitcase. Even to come here for this podcast. Yeah.

I hate packing. You hate packing too? Yeah, I mean, I just pack so much. Yeah. These people that can pack a capsule wardrobe. Yeah. I don't, they're fucking psychopaths. Okay, I want to show you something.

Okay. So, my friend sent me this from her husband, and she said, oh, he's such a helpful chap, okay? And now, as a fan, you, obviously, as a fan of being kind of in the position where you've obviously written the book called Mental Loaded Diaries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if anyone knew that. You were almost reluctant to say it again then. you. She's like, do I even mention this fucking book again? I think I've done enough. I've done my part. Okay.

I haven't even given you a book yet, haven't. I haven't even got a book. To be fair, I didn't get one of the goodie bags. I asked you for your address and you haven't sent it to me. That's true. So it was the book you were going to send me. No, but now I'll throw one in because I'll never have the fucking end of it if I don't. Anyway, fan of promoting men to help with a mental load, right? So just to lighten it a little bit. You're a big fan of that. So what are your thoughts on this? Take a look at your script, Exhibit A. This is the text message that my friend sent me. me the day before they were travelling away. Right. Want to read it out? You have 32 kilograms to use. That's quite a lot.

Normally you get 26. So this is sent by her husband. All right. So he sent this to her. Yeah. You have 32 kilograms to use. No jumpers will be needed. Most swim wear.

Two times the wrong thing. Seven pairs of knickers, optional. We're always taking more than seven pairs of knickers. If I'm going away for a week, it's 21 pairs. Yeah. Everything I aim is in there. The optional, I think, is actually don't bother with knickers if you don't want to. is that like his way of coming anyway maybe one of the sexy sets oh yeah maybe you're never

going to wear a bra all the skimpy summer dresses you say you only wear on holiday four times linen trousers five times thin t-shirts two linen shirts two pairs of flip-flops why do you two pairs of flip-flop I don't know one pair of trainers nobody's doing cardio on holiday fuck off one sandal one pair of sandals oh so you need two flip-flops one pair of sandals one wash bag a hat a cap sunglasses wonder woman outfit vibrator in two books that's brilliant so he was like this is what you need to pat yeah that's not 32 kilos that was about three what are your thoughts on that uh i think he is um and he might listen to the podcast boy i think he's losing his fucking mind where like do you know what i saw i was like oh my god i am so jealous

that would be a dream for me. If Johnny sent to me, right, here's all you need to pack. That would make my life. Yeah, but if Jimmy sent this to me, first of all, I'd be like, it must be invasion of the fucking body snatchers because when did Jimmy learn how to pack? We go on holiday for a week

and Jimmy will grab, I shit you not. We went to the south of France for three nights, four days. And he has a backpack that he keeps like, his laptop in, his travel docks, I call it his getaway bag. It's got like his passport in there all the time. I'm like, it's ready to go whenever he needs. And he's like, I'm just going to take that.

I'm like, what, hang on, that thing, that bag that's already full of all you're like, in case I need to leave my wife in a hurry shit, what are you going to put? He goes, I only need a couple of pairs shorts, put a t-shirt and two pairs of shorts. I was like, absolutely not. Like, when we go out for dinner, like, I'm sick and tired of you turning up in fucking swim shorts and a t-shirt that's got yellow sunscreen marks on, like just fucking pack something You've got a bag. Yeah.

It's included. Yeah. Pack a proper bag. Yeah. And I can see him pack two pairs of box and I always add in like a few more box shorts, a few more t-shirts. Because he just cannot do it. So he only pack a couple of pairs of boxes shorts. So he just reuses them.

He just, no, he says he doesn't. But then I'm like, but you've never got enough. He's always like, they're fine, I've got enough. And then I'm like, you don't have enough. Yeah. And then he sort of starts turning him inside out. Okay. So, I mean, so if you, if he's sending you this.

You'd be, you'd get the same reaction as me. You'd be like, great. Well, no, I'd have packed. I'd have been like, who the fuck are you, telling me how to pack, when you pack like a, that can't say that word. Numpity. What were you going to say? I was going to say, I'll say that.

No, I can't say that. Okay, so I just wanted to get your thoughts on it. I thought you'd find that quite interesting. Yeah, I do. I mean, I think that's... I love it. I love him, and I think that's great. And Johnny, if you're listening, take note.

But she is probably going to wear a bra. Oh, she had a boob job So she doesn't really need one. Oh, God, I'd love a boob job. I don't want them any bigger. I was going to say, do you want them smaller? Oh, lifted. Just lifted.

Lifted. Yeah. I just think that should be on the NHS. I think I'd like to kind of suck this stuff out of my thighs, a little bit out of my gut, maybe out of my gunt, and then just pop that back into the top bit where they used to be before breastfeeding. Just to fill it out a little bit. I never had good boobs, to be honest.

Mine were always like oranges and socks. Always like that, really? Great arse. shipped it. What happened? I don't know, just didn't get the boob gene. I just don't think if it was on my, you know, whoever, I just got the fucking teamer version.

You got the brains, babes. You got the brains. They are, when I'm doing all fours, you know, dog, they are like oranges and socks. I don't like the mental picture I have in my head right now. I think it was enough last night when you messaged me. She texted me last night. She went to bed about like seven.

Seven years. No, I'm not because I know exactly what we can't read back. I can't read out. I realised that. As you wrote it, I was like, brilliant, she can't read this out. She went to bed. No, she went to bed about nine. I'm going to bed babies. Despite having had about a three hour nap in the afternoon, off she went to bed. Basically, what she meant was, I'm going to go upstairs and watch another kind of serial killer documentary. But anyway, she then messaged me from upstairs going, if you want to come up here and have a shower, you're very welcome. I said, if you want to, if you want to

shower because I know how important two showers a day are to you and I have the room with the en suite. I said I've gone to bed so I thought I know she'll want she might want to shower so I'll just let her know that even though I've gone up to bed it's totally fine if she wants to come in so I said if you want to shower feel free to come in babe see look at that feel free to come in and then she said I don't want to have sex with you tonight and I said good because I'd are the fucker bleep bleep bleep bleep with bleep bleep and she said bleep bleep bleep and then i said the bad bleep and then she said okay i'll let you go down on me just give me some time and i said please don't make me and then i didn't hear from her again until she sent me real that we needed to do anyway so that's okay that's what

We were waiting for me to catch up on the script, wasn't it? Okay, good. Now that we're all caught up on the ins and outs of our daily lives, less ins and outs than Emma would like, it's time to dive into the podcast Muff and Get Down and Dirty with Emma's topic this week, which is. More Muff, more Muff. Which is.

You never the only one who's been catfish. Do you know what's so weird. I literally a friend of the person who was staying with last night, I love the Kira, came around. You didn't tell me that story on the way here because we nearly died. I know. It's so busy. But she started telling me a story and I went, it's a catfish, this is exactly what I was.

Can't you share it? No, listen, they're much and much the same. Okay, now with internet dating, somebody often turns out to be someone completely different to who they initially said they were. So, my story is. I've got a little one. Have you?

You go first. Well, levels wise, what are we talking about? There's levels of catfishing here, particularly, I mean, okay, so there's small fry catfish. fishing like the guy who essentially tried to sell me a pair of new AirPods on Facebook Marketplace a couple of weeks ago and they're brand new in the packet and then I'm like there's a lot of other people with exactly the same picture also in my area trying to say like sell the same thing I was like well this is me these are mine and I was like oh okay he said I've even got a receipt

so then he sends me a picture of the receipt one quick little Google search with the image Yeah, reverse image search. It's from an Apple, like, kind of... The question. I think, unpopular opinion, that if you're going to try and buy Apple AirPods on Facebook Marketplace, it's your own fault. Why?

Ben's agreeing. No, I got my dad a brand new iPhone. Like, we went to go and pick it up. It was probably the one that was pickpocketed from my pocket on Oxford Street. No, it was from a really old guy, a lovely old guy that was just like, oh, I don't need this.

guys can't be bad, can I. He's got the perfect front. You saw you fucking coming. Just buy a fucking pair of iPod. Anyway. iPods? Air pods. iPods.

Remember those? Yes. So anyway, there's that level, small fry. And then you've got the kind of catch me if you can. Full on. The kind of stuff that. Catfishing. They're making documentaries about Tinder sprinklers.

Exactly. Exactly that. Mine's very small fry. So this, do you want to tell me your story? Go on. Just very quick. I mean, it was back in the day. when I was online dating and when I was online dating remember this is like 20 years ago

so it was like MySpace and Match.com. Do you remember Match.com? No. And basically I would go on these dates and, you know, one of the, are you all right there? Yeah, just just fiddling with them off. I'm just making sure because sometimes, I mean, I've been saying, boring. Right. And I was and I was going on a date with a guy and he was actually really nice and he drove a VW Beetle, the an old vintage one, which was my favourite car, still is my favourite car in the world.

It was black. It had a white soft up but it was fucking sexy. That sounds cool. Oh no, that was my ex-boyfriend's car. This guy's was yellow, not as sexy. Anyway, we drove out, went through, I went to a loo

after about 45 minutes, came back, he's on the phone, having quite an intense conversation, hangs up, and I was like, yeah, it's this girl I've been seeing. And I was like, it's all right,

it's one of the fucking Myspace or Match.com date. We're not exactly exclusive. Right. How long you've been seeing him for? He's like, oh, a little while. and I was like, how long's a little while? And he went seven years. And I was like, do you live with her?

He said, technically. And I was like, hang on a minute. So you've got a girlfriend that you've been living with for seven years. And he was like, well, I mean, yeah. I went, I think you should take me home. And then he still went in for a kiss at the end. Oh, my, wow. And then there was another guy who was really woke, lefty.

Yeah. And was quite intense. And we'd gone on two or three dates. And on the third date, we were, like, getting down and dirty with it. Got me naked. He didn't take his clothes off. He got me naked. Was like, you know, give me all the attention, that kind of thing.

Okay. And then when, yeah, I can't do this. What's wrong with your vagina? Well, that's exactly what I wasn't even my vagina. I think it was the whole, but I was like, could you have waited? Could you have thought about this before you got me naked? I can't do this. Maybe it was the smell.

No. No. I'm just saying This is savage Don't cut it out Don't cut it out Because everybody needs to know Don't cut it out because everybody needs to know

What a cunt she is That's what everybody needs to know Sorry but you don't shower Don't tell me that's gonna smell like peaches and fucking cream He was really left Listen I was not the smelly one I was not the smelly one He'd never met a fucking protest he didn't love

Well we've only got your Anyway Anyway He Anyway Is he a proper hedge monkey? Oh God, he was a hedge monkey I don't know what I was thinking

Anyway, he decided that He decided that he wasn't going to sleep with me Will you, that makes it even worse I know Anyway, so it didn't go well And yeah, so that was that Okay Sad time, sad time

The majority of time Can I just say when I put cap machine By the way, no, I did need to finish because the reason was, I was like, hang on a minute, what? Like, in my head, I'm going, am I that hideous? Did you say anything? Which, by the way, I was like, in my early 20s, I was fucking banging, banging body.

Yeah. So what was, what was, still socks in, uh, oranges and socks. Yeah. Maybe it was the tits. But you were, maybe it was the oranges and socks. Anyway, he said, I've just been doing this a lot with girls recently, like sleeping with them and then just not happening, so I'm not going to do it anymore.

I was like, Kat, I've from, do you know what? He could have actually just, I've had too much respect for you. I don't. I think that was it. What a joke. No, I think he saw the oranges in socks and thought, no fucking way. No.

Anyway, continue. It's not just my podcast. Catfishing. I mean, it's like I've even named it after you. I know. So basically, when I put this out on my Insta, asking for people feedback, nobody, even my best friend mess with me, she went, Hey, I don't know what catfishing is.

And I thought, oh, I just assumed everyone knew. Especially after they've been a massive MTV show about it. Yeah. She actually said. Tinder swindler. Yeah. The way I, she said, the way I thought it was is like, you know, when people talk about catfishing because of the, how they look different, like a bit like me, how different they look without makeup. But it stems from, essentially, usually people doing it for malicious purposes, either, you know, for financial gains.

And it always, it always ends up being someone they know as well. Why is it called catfishing? Do we know that? Did you do any research? No, I didn't bother with that part. Okay, you talk and I'll do that. Amazing, fantastic. So generally, it's often someone close to the victim.

they're done for financial extortion or in my friend's aunt's case for iTunes gift cards I don't know why that's what the guy wanted but having grown up in the kind of era of Meg Ryan and you know kind of you've got male and that romanticism there the concept of meeting and falling in love online

have kind of been over romanticised I think I think for a lot of us so I've had an experience a bit closer to home which just kept getting weird and weirder and that was when I was working in a pub in, I think I must have been my early 20s, I think it was, yeah, early 20s. The same part of I was talking about the other day where I was trying to learn the till. So at the time there was this chef working in there and I would say he was probably late 30s.

He was a lot older than me. He was kind of, you imagine shaved head, kind of stocky, like he'd said he'd been in the army, he was quite ruddy skinned, you know, he's like rough and ready and, you know, he'd worked, you know, He loved cooking, and that's why he was in there. All chefs are fucking mentor, by the way. Right. This one more so. Right.

So what, like, he'd come and kind of often come and talk to me, you know, and because he was quiet during the day and stuff. And then he's just, you know, telling me about, like, how he'd sold, you know, in the process of selling his business. And he was just working here just because he, you know, love cooking. He used to do it in the army. Already red flags. Really?

Yeah, because if you're selling a business, why are you working as a chef in a pub? Right. Okay. I was young. Yeah. No, I get it. I'm not blaming you. So anyway.

Not victim blaming. And I have a boyfriend at this point that I live with and I'm not showing, Steve, yeah. And I'm not showing any interest in this guy whatsoever. We just work together. We just worked together. And, you know, come over and you don't get any opportunity to chat and tell me what was going on his life. Oh, that's nice. That's great, Paul.

Anyway, Paul. Paul would tell me about his business and I'd never heard of it before. And he was like, you know, it's the thing that transports the blood. And he said, you must have seen them with the motorbikes with the... Oh, yeah, I've seen those. With the snake around the, like, kind of, I think it's like maybe a heart or something. There's a snake, the dagger maybe, I don't know, something. Yeah.

And now I see it all the time. I hadn't, in my 20s, I hadn't really clocked something like that. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my business. And I'm saying, I'm going to make millions, going to make millions. And I was like, wow, that's good for you, great, you know. Nice guy. Fantastic. Anyway, as time went on, sold my business, you know, and, you know, the money's going to be coming in soon.

I would love to buy you something. I was like, oh, that's a bit weird, you know, because I've got a boyfriend and stuff, don't think he'd be good. No, he's so, look. What does he want to buy you? He's like, you're still driving around in your mum's old car. Why don't, why don't I get you a new car?

I was like, it's very sweet of you, Paul, but honestly, that would be. She's such a better person than I am. And I was like, that's really lovely, but, you know, I couldn't possibly. Go on, just for, you said, just for, you know, kind of. What would your car be? I was like, well, it would be a blacked out rangerover, obviously. Never buy a rangeover. The worst fucking cars.

I know this now. Not. Again, in my early 20s, I wasn't the word. And obviously, I was just like joking. Of course. Who's going to buy you a car? But not really joking. I mean, but there's a little part of me as like, maybe.

I went to my boyfriend. I went, Paul wants to buy my car. He's like, brilliant. We need a car. I was like, great. Love Steve already. Yeah. I was like, cool.

Take the money and run. Yeah. And I was like, he's like, yeah. And I was like, it's a bit weird. And I said, is he like, is he done anything that's, I said, no, he's been respectful. It's just, you know, I think there's a vibe.

He also used to get really sweaty when he spoke to me as well. And I, yeah, which gave me the ick massive. It's actually making me feel a bit ill, actually, as I think about it. But anyway, so the time's gone on. So then he'd be like... No fucking car yet. I've ordered it. And I was like, shut up.

He goes, yeah, he goes, it's going to be outside your house. Your Black Ranger Rover. Yeah, black Ranger over. Yeah, black Ranger over. To be outside your house, big bow tied around it. I was like, shortball. In my head, I'm still going, if this fucking happens, because he had all the details, he had everything, you know,

everything seemed for, like early 20s me, quite above the board. It seemed legit. Well, this is the thing with victims of catfishing. People don't generate, good people don't generally go into situations assuming the worst of everybody. Yes. Like, so it's not that you feel really stupid, but it's not you. Like they'd go out of their way to fucking deceive you.

Yeah. Anyway, so continue. So he found out where I lived, like, and was, yeah. And then I would kind of wake up. Did you tell him where you lived? Well, I saw them. around about where I live. I didn't tell him my door number or anything like that,

but I would like wake up and then... Would you look out of the window excitedly to see if there's a car there? No, no, not at this point. At this point I would come out and there'd be like some flowers on the doorstep or there'd be like, and then he just started sending me text messages and all this kind and I was like, anyway, the next thing is like surviving on Friday. I said it was Friday. I was like, okay, Paul, thanks, cool, you know.

And I think at this point, things had got a bit weird and he flipped out at work. Yeah. And so he'd actually been let go at work. And they were aware he was being a bit kind of... A bit inappropriate. Yeah. And he also kept losing his temper in a really big way. Which chefs do anyway, don't they?

But you hear smashing and stuff on the back. No. I mean, it became more apparent as time went on. And then, like, other times he'd be like, send me a message going, was that you in so-and-so I saw today? You know, it's the most random place. And I was like, this guy's following me. So it wasn't, it was less catfishing and more stalking.

It was a bit of both, really. Because then... Can we get to the car bit? Then he messages me and goes, it's arrived, it's outside. And I'm like, you know when you're in your house, I'm looking? I'm like, oh my God, if I open that curtain and the car... How am I...

You're going to have to sleep with him. I mean... I was like... So he's like, enjoy beautiful. And I was like, I've opened the curtain. I've looked. No fucking car. Oh, what?

I'm like, what the fuck? And I went... Paul, there's no... There's no car. No, there is. There's definitely a car. I'm like, he's mental. He's actually mental.

And at this point, I was like... Do you think he actually really saw a car? I need to call the police. So I had to call the police and all this kind of thing. And then after that, I was terrified. We had to like... Do you know, it's funny. I've just watched documentary that Zara McDermott did,

who by the way, I'm deeply unhappy with because she's just broken Sam Thompson's heart and I adore Sam Thompson. And Pete Wicks. We've talked about an inappropriate question on Pete Wicks. Yeah. We don't need to go any further. But she's just done a documentary on stalking and...

I have never had that experience, thank God. But the fear that these women live in, day in, day out of these men who just come and stand outside their window. Yeah, just stare. Because when you're in your house and this is happening, it feels like, you can't have your curtains open. You can't have your windows. And I was in like a muse. I was in like I was on a main road. Yeah, so it felt like I was just holding my breath

every time I'd open the front door thinking the park opposite could be there. Because that kind of obsession doesn't end well. It's like if I can't have you, nobody can. Yeah. And there's this poor girl whose stalker has been, she was working in headhunting or recruitment and he came in, he ended up getting a job

and then he just started texting her and following her and he's been in prison three times for it. Oh my God. And every time he calls her two hours after he's got out. Oh, so she's had to move hands. She's had to change. I mean, she doesn't nothing. If somebody wants to find you, they will find you.

Knowing that obsession is there. And there's nothing really that the police can do because... Unless they do something, you can't... So if they break bail, he can go back in, but he's only going in for breaking bail. So it's like six months, seven months, eight months. And then he's back out again. Like, it's just horrendous. Yeah.

Well, I think I got away quite lightly and I never heard from him again. No, no, no. I mean, I was young and I was wanting a range of. He's only human, isn't he? He's only human. Anyway... Mind you, I've seen her bum. I'd stalk that bum.

Stop it. Do you want to know where catfishing comes from? Yes. It's wild. You have to stick with me till the end. The term catfishing is derived from a story told in the 2010 documentary film Catfish, where someone compared a deceptive online personality to a catfish being shipped with cod. The comparison suggested that the catfish would keep the cod active during transport by nipping at their tails.

This analogy was applied to the online world to describe someone creating a fake identity to deceive and manipulate others. It's not a great analogy. doesn't really make sense, but that's where it comes from. Well, now we know. Now you know. You heard it here first. And what you are going to also hear first is some stories firsthand. From the re, from dear listeners.

From the listeners. So, I mean, I honestly, I almost don't want to talk too much about my own story because I wanted to share some of these because they are, some of them are wild. And some of them just quite funny. Okay, so Anonymous said six months dating to find out he was still living with his ex. I'd even met his child. Again, this is going to be one of those episodes where I'm going to find out harder and harder

to give men the benefit of doubt, isn't it? I think you're like this one. Well, I married a man and found out long after divorce what his actual name was. Hang on what? And I said, so I said to her. I said, what the fuck? I said, I need more info on this.

She went, well, he told me his name was Andrew. It turned out he was actually Thomas. I've no idea if he changed it by Deepol or what. I knew him, and I won't say his name. but it was never done well yeah but that the full name um but that was never that he was in the army i think there's a link to the army here somewhere because also lots of psychopaths go to the army the friend that we spoke about we was just talking about that we met last night yeah that guy was in the army as well my friend's husband was in the army and she he told her he was adopted and all

this stuff and then she was like she's kids with him the army the army fucked you up i think it does yeah well it no it definitely does they have this whole thing that they've called PTSD i don't I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's like, it's called Gulf War Syndrome for a while. Yeah. As you know, it really fucks you up. Yeah, it's not their fault. No, no, no.

And thank you for your service. She said, he was in the army, so I can only presume, anyway, he's now changed it again to that of a fictional serial killer. I wish I was joking. What, Jack the Ripper? No, he was real. Fictional serial, Dexter Morgan. I bet it's Dexter Morgan.

I don't know. I'm not into the documentaries like you are. That's a TV show, drama. Here's another one. Catfishing story, please keep a non. Back in my Tinder days, this guy I thought I was talking to was good looking. I think you're not the only one. We weren't meant to meet up.

He texted me to say where he was sat and what he was wearing, so I'd know it was and I was down and saw him. Turned around and came back home. Text him to say, I had a phone call for my mom about a family emergency. Turned out, and I mean, I don't think this is a reason to walk away, but he was ginger for longer. for long geek and about 18 that's not a problem but the problem was the pictures he was sending over was a tattooed darkhead 25 year old who goes to the gym that he was not I am married to a ginger man I know you are although we do call him a day walker because he actually tans um but also I don't like this I text him I'd say I had a phone call from my mum about family emergency

why can't we just be honest and say you're a fucking liar yeah you're not like I'm not doing it you weirdo and I'm going to report you how do people think they can get away with that when I say people I mean men because women don't do that or maybe they do we do it every day when we put slap on you're like the ultimate cat on I am the ultimate captain sure that makeup she's a minger which we all know isn't true actually because we did the makeup free episode and she's more gorgeous that a makeup but she doesn't believe me thank you um I was dating a guy not me anon was dating a guy for two months spending loads of time together

young muscular good job nice bike that makes me. I don't know why that made me laugh. Nice bike. Nice bike. Man gives good bike. My dad said to me, I will disown you if you ever get on the back of a motorbike unless it's a Harley or a Goldwing. Did he really say that? Unless it's a Harley or a Goldwing. Or a Honda Goldwing. Is he a bike or dad? No, but he's a car, like he's a, he's a petrol head. He used to be a rally driver. He used to take me to, he used to, he used to drive for, like, internationally. Yeah. And Minnie made him a car that was an inch bigger in every direction because he's so tall. No way.

Minnie made him a car. And then he stopped driving professionally because he had really bad car crashes. That's how he lost all his teeth when he then lost them in snorkeling. He lost more in car crashes. And so he started doing classic car rallying. It wasn't dangerous snorkeling when she says he lost them snorkeling. They fell out

in a cove in France and somehow he managed to find them again the next day which is mental. But then he started classic car rally and used to go and do them and he used to take me with him and I used to sit and polish the engine he had a beautiful reno alpine French blue was beautiful I love these little like little nuggets from your childhood

which he didn't tell my mum he'd bought and the insurance man called and said oh hi Pam I'm just calling to chat about ensuring Chris's new Jaguar D type and mum went what Jaguar new D type and then the next thing I heard she was standing on the driveway saying you're a fucking

cunt who's that what you heard yeah fair enough 17 grand dropped on a car Oh, my God. Anyway. Anyway, he gave good car.

And this guy gave a nice bike. Anyway, she says, we had sex finally. And in the morning, I left for work. And then I was ghosted. A year later, I guess. So you've been seeing him with two months. They were spending time together. Two months, only sex once.

Well, this is when she was holding out, you know. No, no, I get that. Sex once and then he went. Right. It's a bit like, maybe it was like, you're funny. A year later, I got a message from said person. He wasn't able to explain why he had disappeared. and he said he wasn't ready to talk about it.

Oh, I know exactly where he's gone. Go. I decided to Google his name because something just didn't sit right. Trust that gut. Turns out he'd been in jail for the last 13 months. Wait for it. It gets worse because he got caught by Facebook Pido Police meeting what he thought was going to be a 13-year-old girl at McDonald's.

Oh my God. That is savage. Oh, my God. Proper civil. Proper civil. there was me saying Ben never brings anything to the fucking table and he's just dropped proper savelin

that is young muscular good job nice bike nice guy I once was ghosted by a guy I've been on and off date in four years like this we're going to talk about him next week and the one who got away but I was so in love with him

he was so much older than me but not so much like eight years older than me but I was young I was 18, 19, 20 and it was four years on enough Was it your first heartbreak? No second but I was like just like it was infatuation it was like it was not anyway after four years we went out and I got shit face had had sex

and then I just told him I loved him so he literally got up and walked out and I never saw him again apart from once when he came around he was an artist and he dropped me a painting and so he said I promised you this so I brought it around he literally dropped it and ran and I was like okay oh it's so sweet that he still got the painting in the living room. Oh, which one? You know, the big canvas, orange, big abstract canvas. That's him.

You're kidding. Nice painting. It's a nice that Jimmy knows that's. Worth a few, Bob. That's nice that Jimmy knows that's there. Except, yeah. It's a bit like the, what do you call it? I don't know.

What? What are you trying to say? I can't think this morning. Yeah. The photo of me and my, with Steve. Oh, yeah, and your graduation. My graduation that Johnny has to see every time he goes around there. All right, okay, that is a shocker.

Anon. My mum, after finally plucking up the courage, post-divorce, met a guy and dated for two years. They went on holiday together. He stayed at our house. She stayed at his. He lived in a different country, so they mainly saw each other on weekends. He admitted out of the blue that he had a wife and family and had been leading a double life that whole time. She still doesn't know whose house they went to, as it certainly wasn't his family home. Another one. I know a woman who turned up to a date and a much younger bloke was there. he'd been using his dad's photos. So we wanted to date older women.

Yeah. There are enough older women out there who want to date younger men. Why lie? I don't know. My best friend's, sorry, my friend's best friend. I love all the people throwing them at their friends under the bus. My friends. Okay.

My friend's best friend, it's very confusing. Somebody I know. Yeah. My friend. A friend of a friend. They had two children. They had two children, not married, but together six years. years. And guess what? He was in the army. But no, he wasn't. Because actually he'd go on tour to visit

his wife and kids and play the same Trump card on her. Fucking hell. And do you know what? Yes, they had to sit through some fucking nonsense from Stephen Bartlett about how feminism was ruining men's lives. The actual nonsense of it all. And then this. That was amazing. That's my favorite one. Right, I've gone, have you? Yeah. Okay. I've got one that came through this morning. Okay, you do yours. Dating for 20 months, thought he was the one. One night we went for dinner and he said he had something to tell me.

Thought I was about to get dumped. He confessed that he was married and had a six-month-old baby. But it was okay as we could still see each other. No, thank you. Still look back and can't quite believe it. The audacity. It's all right, though. It's all right.

I'm good with it. I'm still good with it. Oh, okay, great. Cool. I'll just be grateful. I've got, there's a couple here. Hey ladies, double whammy. I was 16 and I'd been talking to this guy in a teen chat room.

We agreed to meet up with him telling me he was 27. My parents thought I was at my best friend's house and he drove me to Saff End, which is about an hour away from where I lived. It's already a 16 year old who's just got in a car with a man she met on the internet who says he's 27 and driven an hour away from them and nobody knows in the world where she is.

Oh my God, this is freaking me out. And yet, because I was like this, not one alarm bells ringing. We're like, we're just in love with it. William, isn't he sexy? Do you know what I mean? Anyway, where we just hung out. A few weeks later, he messaged to tell me he was actually 42.

But as he didn't look it, it was okay. He was older than my dad. That put a stop to all contact. To this day, my parents don't know. Oh, so it's like a parents don't know confession thing. And looking back, I could have been raped or killed. Yes, yes, that was very high on the agenda at every moment in that encounter. At the end, every full story.

of that soy we were thinking exactly the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were there. You didn't need to tell us. Oh my God. So yeah, lucky to be alive, really. Wow. And she's put a name. She didn't say anonymous. So thanks, Corinne for that. Met my first husband in 1997. Married 5th of June 1999. April 2001, I went to work in Germany on a weekly commuting basis. August 2001, so what, five month, four months, three months later. I was drunk listening to Bonny M at a street festival. I'd stayed for the weekend to earn overtime. My sister's 30th was the following weekend anyway. Think, brown girl in the ring, la, la, la, la.

I could have done that better, sorry. Having a splendid time when my phone rang. It was hubby. I didn't like him much at this point anyway, once I'd realised how much fun life could be. Compared to him. Christina, I need 27K. Me, what for?

Him. The CSA want 27K from me. What's the CSA? Hold your horses. Me. Who are the CSA? What for? Child support agency.

Him, the child support agency for Thomas and Georgina. Me. Who the fuck are they? Him. My kids. Anyway. How long have they been married at this point? Well, they'd met in 97, married two years later.

This was in 2001. So like four years. Oh my God. Anyway, I got more drunk, said we'd talk about it next weekend. It's very, I mean, thank God she was drunk. Do you know what I mean? The following day, a Sunday, we had an argument. You think?

I didn't like that I didn't know he had. She's very calm about this. I didn't like that I didn't know he had kids. And as far as I knew, he'd never seen them. The row went on for a few hours, on and off. You know I was working at earning overtime. It got worse. I went to a bar to get drunk while on the phone to him.

I laughed at someone drunk, my friend, who fell off his bike. What's a bike's in this? Bikes an army. Anyway, that was the last straw, apparently. He set... What the fuck? What? What?

He set fire to my house. This is for real? Paul, is this you? We're not laughing at you, but that is like, astonished laugh. Right. So much to unpick and so dull. Not that dull. Not that dull.

He's gone out of it. Like, he's less dull now. He borrowed the next door neighbor's lawn mower so that he had the petrol. So he's a thief as well. The house was solely in my name as he was blacklisted when applying for a mortgage is when I found out. To be fair, there's a few. red for this. He threw petrol into the loft, the main bedroom, spare room and sitting room, followed by matches. There was an all-ports alert out for him. My friend picked me up from the bar.

My mum had asked him to. My mum had asked him to, I was very drunk at this point to pack my belongings and go to a friend's place for the night in case he was coming to get me. I packed my bikinis, Daltzing Gabana, Louvreton and Gucci. Okay. Nothing else. There's so many random. There's a lot going on Nothing else and slept on my friend's sofa in your Louis Vuitton bikini. Oh my God. He was found in the Selsden Park Hotel in Room 101. Is this for real? I feel like this is a script.

He was eating Nurephan, drinking red wine and watching the athletics on the telly. Living his best fucking life. God, it's so good. There's more. There's more. Sorry. In court, in court, the judge said, despite the fact you owe the CSA 27K,

despite the fact you have two previous criminal records, I shall treat you as a gentleman of previously good character. The house was a mess. Of course. I mean, he'd left the insurance documents out for me. That's considerate. There's a clause in the insurance.

If a claim is made against the policy resulting from an act perpetrated by a household member or a family member, it is null and void. I was allowed to divorce him on unreasonable behaviour. It took me 15 years to pay off the rebuild of the house, which I sold. Oh my God.

Christina. Christina, thank you so much. I honestly, that is... brilliant. Can I just say, you know those magazines that take a break and stuff like that, I think they would pay you for that story. Yeah, you'd get 30k, maybe not anymore. Back in the day.

Back in the day. You'd have got 30K for that. Yeah. I was thinking, like, how you've been framed would really not work these days or two. I know, you've been framed, though. Do you remember you just get 500 pounds for? 250. Oh, was it 250?

I thought it was 250, but maybe 500 with inflation. Okay. Not that you'd know, because money to you're like, fucking, your tax is, oh, I don't know how you do it. But I save, I know I've got the money to pay. pay the taxes. I just don't know kind of how it all works. But I make sure I've got the money to pay what I owe. I just don't like doing the paperwork stuff. Well, yeah, no, I mean, I don't like doing paperwork. Nobody does, right? I just don't understand it. That's all. Listen, that was cracking. Oh my God. Thank you so much. This, honestly, this is exactly what I

wanted for this episode. It's just I wanted to hear other people's stories because actually sometimes when it's your own, it doesn't feel that big. But then, you know, when you you share it like this. Yeah, yours was weird. Like yours, I wouldn't say yours was catfishing, but yours was definitely stalking. But he clearly wasn't who he said he was. Do you know, we don't really, no.

I mean, maybe he did sell a business. Maybe, you know, but the fact is he was like, I mean, it's bless him. Yeah. Your car's outside. You're like, I'm looking at it. Because part of me is like, it's not there. He's like, no, it is.

Doubling down. Doubling down. Has it got Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility over it. Yeah, I know. I even came out and I was looking at maybe he's got, Maybe he's parked it on the road. Have you got the right address? We were in.

We're in. I don't know why we missed the delivery. Oh my God, please. If you have any more catfishing stories, then please send them in because they are joyful. And I think that could definitely do with the bonus episode as well. And as always, if you want to have your say on anything that we've discussed this season, last season,

or if you've just got a funny story that you want to share something that you know is going to tickle our funny bone, then please email us with those at you're never the only one at gmail.com You can send us a message or a voice note, but no longer than 90 seconds, please, at 07457, 402704. Or of course, you can always get hold of us via the wonderful shell who runs the Instagram account. She's wonderful. At you're never the only one on the gram and TikTok. And with that, we are done for this week.

We are back next week. Actually, we're not. It's a week after. We've got a, what a fallow year, like Glastonbury. No. Or recording-wise, we are. But, yes, for you guys, we're just broken the full fucking wall. Sorry.

We'll be back next week. week. Yeah, we'll be back next week. Okay, right. We're not going to record next week, because we're having a week off. Okay, all right. But as far as they know, yeah, by the time this goes out, we'll have all the episodes done, so the episode will just come out. Okay. Do you see how it works? Yeah. Don't be so condescending.

Well, don't be so stupid. We will be back next week. And Kat will be in the topical driving seat. Kat, we've already covered really what you are going to be talking about, which is the one that got away. We are. We're going to be talking about. You're never the only one who still thinks about the one who got away. So I want to know all of those first loves, young loves,

or even just like grown-up loves that for some reason, maybe it was the right person wrong time, maybe something happened, maybe something tore you apart, maybe it was, that too dark, maybe somebody died. Oh, I don't know if I want any of those stories. That's depressing.

Yeah, but we always get great ratings when you cry. Great ratings. Anyway, share your story. I've got, yeah, I've got a couple. you've got a couple I feel really bad for Jimmy I've got no regrets I don't feel like no regret

but it's like the one that got away so that sounds like that's the person that you wish you'd been with instead of the person you married well no because I think now obviously I'm delighted I fucking love Jimmy but out of all my ex-boyfriends

of which there are many there are two that for some reason I still think about not in a like I wish I was with them way. Yeah. But in a, I guess, I wish it had gone differently or I wish, you know,

or maybe it just feels a bit unfinished. Yeah. Do you know what I love, the fact that I married somebody who is somebody else's one that got away? And they told him that. I don't think Jimmy's anybody else's one that got away. Okay, you're really not helping the cause.

Jimmy, I think you're great. Well, only because I think Jimmy and I'm meant to be together and I don't think anybody would understand Jimmy like I do. And I don't think anybody would understand me like he does. He's cracking. He's well done, well saved. And with that. He doesn't listen, it's fine.

And with that, that's us. Time out. We're done. Later, potatoes. Bye. You're never the only one is written and presented by Katzim's and Emma Nicolay and produced by Radiant Management. Executive producers are Katie Ray and Parami Kodikara.

Podcast operations are managed by show. Regini who also expertly takes care of the podcast social media and our theme tune everybody makes mistakes is written and performed by the band Hot Salad Never the only one of all. Never the only one. Don't live inside a shame, because everybody makes mistakes. You're never the only one. You're never the only one.

But live inside your shame because everybody makes mistakes. Oh. Thank you.