You're Never The Only One - Still Not Confessed To Your Parents? You're Never The Only One..

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

This week's episode of You're Never The Only One delivers all the usual hilarity, outrageousness and boundary pushing as usual. The girls discuss secrets, and specifically, the secrets we have kept from our parents. It's a good one!***********************************************************The best way to support the podcast is to follow YNTOO wherever you listen to your podcasts and leave a 5* review!***********************************************************If you've got a story to share about this week's topic, or any other topic or, maybe you just have a story that you think we'll love, then please get in touch!Email: [e-mail]/Messages: [phone]DM: @yourenevertheonlyone***********************************************************Buy Cat's Book: The Mental Load DiariesFollow YNTOO on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube

Yippie guy, motherfucker. You're never the only one who still hasn't confessed something to their parents. I'm so excited! Weed was a gateway drug to ending up in a crack den, darling. Did he say that?

Yeah, and I decided to tell him that I'd been doing hard drugs for years and never once smoked weed. And anyway, next thing I know, we're in threason. Oh my God, with the ball man with a big watch. You're never the only one.

Welcome to you're never the only one where we pretend there were experts on something just because it's relatable. Yeah. Actually, it's just something we were just complaining about in the group chat. So buckle up while we analyze it like it's world news. Today I'm joined by the wonderful Kat Simps, who despite having over 300,000 followers, 300,000 followers. Numerous TV and radio interviews about her new book,

in case I hadn't mentioned it, and shamelessly, campaigning, she still didn't manage to get a PR invite to Wimbledon yet again this year. She claims to love the sport herself, but the only backhand I've seen her deliver well are her backhanded compliments. It's good. It's good? Actually, my backhand's pretty good. You used to be a tennis county player. I know, I've heard. Thanks, Emma, for that heartwarming and love-filled intro reminding me that the closest I'm going to get to Wimbledon this year is your purple hair in my green dress.

How's my purple hair got anything to do with Wimbledon? What have I missed? Do we need to explain it? Purple? What are the colours of Wimbledon? I don't know. I'm not into it.

Oh, well, that doesn't sound like a me problem. That sounds like a you problem. The colours are purple and green. Okay. I don't think you have to be into Wimbledon to know that the colours are purple and green. Did you know the colours were purple and green? Yeah.

Okay. Anything else? Yes. It's Emma Nicolet, everyone. The girl who puts the cunt into country living. I know, I tried not to, I was like, do I use it? Do I not use it? It's your best. It is. You might have peaked. Yeah. Well, I was like, I don't know if I can use it because a minute, YouTube's wearing, all the rest of it, but I thought it's as good as it's going to get.

I love it. With all the shit that I'm not knowing about Wimbledon colours, we might just get past that minute and still get cunted. Yeah. Thank you so much for that, Cat. Oh, that's, I've just turned my page over. It's quite a big picture there. It's a movie picture. I'm still learning how to scale. It's like have you seen those memes though at those TikToks and things where it's like putting in it's a guy who's standing normally

and then he's like you put an image point of view you've put an image into a word document and then he's suddenly like that my favourite one is the one where they've got inside my mum's phone and it's like kind of the fonts are like huge stuff like that honestly okay right so

the reason that you have an image in front of you right now Kat is because I wanted to show you I put something out on my stories after last time we were recording because I realize what I do with you is I don't know where this is why I said to you I really wish I could get some like microdosing

of that ADHD medicine because like I sometimes struggle to kind of focus You can by the way, it's called speed I guess, struggle to focus as it is anyway so I'm one of those people

where people will kind of be talking and introduce themselves and I'm so busy focusing on how I'm coming across to them and whether they're going to like me. Self-centred fear, that's what we call that. No idea what their name is. Couldn't remember from Adam, okay? When I'm on this with you,

sometimes I'm trying so hard to focus on what you're talking about when it's your topic. Even though it's really interesting. No, no, no, no, but that's the thing. But it's my processing speech. And you're also like, I'm going to have to respond. Exactly. Because last week I was thinking, I'm just sat here staring because I was enjoying it and I was listening to it.

But I didn't have enough time to kind of masticate it in my brain to then come back and kind of have any kind of back and forth conversation. And I think then I started thinking, I'm just sat here looking at her. I don't think I've said anything in a while. Do I even need to be, why am I here? And by that point, I'm like, shit, she's not talking. And I've lost what you were talking about. And then I just was like, oh, and I did actually, I left a little, feeling a little bit disheartened with my performance. Well, funny enough though, because I came out of the, I know which pop record, and I was like, that was a cracking episode and you were like, really?

I thought it was really bad. I was like, no, it's cracking. Because it's all about me, Katla, someone. All about you. You are always, you are consistently brilliant, my love, honestly. I don't know, I don't know about that. Today might be the day where I crash and burn. Well, that would be the universe helping me out.

But I would have to say, like, I just find, and I know I sound like. I'm sucking your ass here, but I'm not. I'm just genuinely. Suck away. Suck away. I, um, I, because I feel very, I remember the first one we piloted together and we spoke about doing the podcast and I said this to you. I find you're so well read.

You're very eloquent. You're like, so sometimes I just think I haven't really got much to. Yeah, but you need to stop this. No, I know. But, but what I'm saying is, there's also an element to this about how I learn. Right. Got it. And so I was bringing us back to the point.

To the giant image. The big image here. So basically what we have in front of us right now are the different ways that people learn. And I go back to when I worked in a pub and they were trying to teach me the till. And I just couldn't get it. And in the training, they would be like,

and everyone else was getting it. And then it was the manager there that just said to me, stop getting down about it. Once you start using it, you'll be fine. And actually repastively using it. He said because people learn different. I've never heard this before. Never had they said this in school.

The whole time where I'd sat there and struggled through school, that there's many different ways, but the three main ways that people earn, it's either they're auditory, so they hear it and they can take it on board and they can remember it. Visually, they see it being performed for them and they can copy it. Or they, like, mind maps and things like that for revision notes, really good for visual learners. Exactly.

And then kinesthetic is the other one, so that is doing it. I'm definitely a doing it person. Once I've learned it, I won't forget. it, you know, that it's in. So I put it out there to the peeps on Instagram and I asked them what kind of learners they are. And it was really interesting to hear that actually, out of all of them, only 3% were auditory that can listen. So I felt like, oh, okay, so. Yeah, I think that's quite normal. Yeah. Yeah. And actually 57% were like me and have to do it hands on and 40% were visual. I would say, what are you?

I feel like you're a mix of auditory and visual. I'd say I'm a mix of all three, honestly. You told me a podcast to listen to on the, sorry, a book to listen to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ultra-processed people. Yeah, and I was like, right, I'm on it. I want to, you know, I really want to listen to this. You said it would really help. So the minute I drove back home, I put it on Audible,

I nearly drove off the road. I can't listen to that many words. So he, this is, you do have to sort of, there's definitely some scientific, I'll try again. There's definitely some scientific bits that do kind of, I just sort of, I don't let myself trip over them. But then you get used to him, but once you get into it,

the way he conveys that information is really listenable to. But so stick with it. Okay. Stick with it. Because I couldn't get past the track. Go on, you do it. She knows. Preface?

No, not even close. Face? No? Preface. Yes. Yeah. That's, yeah, no, that's interesting. I think I'm a mixture of all three,

but I do remember for me when I was like revising for exams, if I wrote, in fact, I became fucking expert at note taking and I had to take notes of everything. Some people would just sit there and listen and write down key points. Yeah. I would like pages and pages and pages. Yeah. Because as I wrote it, it went in.

Right. So I guess that's a little bit kinesthetic because I'm doing it. Yeah. but then I'm listening as well and in fact when I was doing exams and I would have to remember an answer I would remember where I'd written it on the page

can you remember I'd visualize I'm like oh that's where I wrote that on that page do you ever watch a film and suddenly realise you've watched it before do you know you've definitely watched a film I can watch a film and then obviously not within the same week but not long after I can get halfway through and go this is familiar I've watched this

no I've done it with a book as well I can't ever read books twice I mean this is what I'm saying Is there something wrong with me? Although I do think now I'm getting to this age There are definitely things where I can do that twice Like there are certain documentaries because I've watched all the documentaries

So there are certain ones that I can go back to And go I don't remember that one Yeah But I think that's come with age Right I can't bear the idea that I'm wasting time Watching or listening or reading something I've already read or you know

That's like... But I don't realise I'm reading it again Well that's not That's weird isn't it? I know and what's been going on with you Well my eldest who's 11, she's starting secondary school in September. I've got really squeaky bum about it.

Why? Because high school, well, I mean, my high school, obviously was boarding school, so it's quite contained. I mean, it was miserable, but it was, it wasn't always miserable, but it was hard. I just, you know, when you're like, I just don't want her to go through that. But she went to a workshop day yesterday, which is they, all year sevens get invited in for the day, they meet their form group, they do activities. and stuff she came back and she was buzzing yeah she had a great time she did make me buy her a new

bag for it though because she'd year six billy was really into like Korean high school stuff and yeah she said to anime all that kind of yeah so she had like one of those really cute leather satchels yeah but she'd like realize that this probably wasn't the vibe yeah so she said maybe please get me just a black like Nike backpack right and part of me was like my mom which would have been No, you ask for this bag and you're going to take that bag. Yeah. And then the other part of me was like, do you know what? This is not the time to be character building.

Like, just let her get into that school. She wants a new bag. She can have a new bag. The bag is a real thing. Real thing. So we've only done the same thing going up into year nine. Yeah. And she's like, we don't have our school rucksacks now.

And so already... So you just carry books. So now, now she's got like a... Like a long shom, you know, that style. What would you call that? Oh, yes. Like a tote. Like a tote.

Because I was like, when we were in Dubai, I was like, maybe we'd get like a little, like a Chloe. She was like, no, I don't want anything like that. So she's just seen one on there. You just, what, hang on, you're in Dubai and you offered to buy your daughter a Chloe bag? Because of all the fakes over there. Oh, right. I thought you were like going to buy her an actual Chloe. No, you were just going to fund terrorism.

That's fine. Yeah, cool. So, actually, I was so tempted and didn't buy anything. I know. And the stuff I got sent, honestly. I know you are tempted. Did you want the bag man? I went, what does that mean over here?

The what? The bag man. Oh, I think so the bank man. No, the bagman. And I was like, that means a different thing in London. So anyway, I was like, okay, cool. So I was like, I looked at it all. And then I just went, no, I've got a thing about fake.

So I'll be honest with you. Because my mum, when we lived in Tenerife, had all the fake Louis Vuittons. Yeah. So I would, and I just was like, it gives me the ick a bit, fakes. Yeah, I feel like. I know what you mean. I feel. Back in the day, I've done it.

I just feel better. Like, when it's something that's, it's ridiculous that something's even worth that much money. Well, it probably isn't worth that, but they sell it for that much money. It's not. It's not. Exactly. So it's pathetic, but if I've paid for that myself or whatever, it's a little gift, always been given to me. Oh my God, I feel like, I mean something, I'm wearing something nice, it makes me feel better, which again is something to unpack. Well, it's also like I earned this.

You know, I bought myself a Chloe bag, the tote, which I love. And it was ridiculous. It was like 700 pounds or something ridiculous. Obviously I didn't tell Jimmy. I think I might have even told him it was a fake. And which he was delighted about. Better than you fund terrorism. But it is, I was proud. I was like, do you know what? I've been able to buy this myself. Went to selfages.

It all came beautifully wrapped. The whole experience. It is something special that it's fine if you're not into bags or whatever, like I get it. But every now and again, and I bought a pair of, I've got another paycheck in. I bought a pair of Valentino, Rockstar sandals. There's no other, they are the best sandals you have ever bought. Ever bought, ever. They're comfortable.

They go with everything. They are stylish as far. They are, I will spend that 700 pounds over and over again if I had to. Yeah. The bag, the Chloe bag? Yeah, love it. Although I did, it got a bit dirty because it's beige. Yeah.

And I thought, I'll just give it a go. Oh, God. I got like the fairy liquid and the toothbrush out. And it's fine, but I probably should have taken it to a dry cleaners. Yeah. I left a satsuma inside a lovely mulberry bag and that didn't end well. Anyway, listen, moving on from bags. good news is

I went to this Q&A with the head teacher first question I asked but you know I'm like hand straight up front row hand straight up if I don't sit on the front row I can't concentrate I have any kind of meeting that I'm in have to be on the front row otherwise I'm not away with the fairies

that's hilarious and it was on the front row hand goes up and I was like listen talk to me about smartphones because I am my kids hate me she's got a Nokia folding flip thing and all I hear whenever I put it out on Instagram, like they're not having smartphones. Everybody's like, yeah, wait until she gets to high school.

They're going to need them. They use the apps for this, that and the other. And I was like, is she going to need one? Are you relying on apps for anything? He was like, absolutely not. They're really into inclusivity. And he's like, we're just not going to do it. If we say that everybody has to have a tablet or a laptop or all of a sudden,

we're cutting out a huge part of the population that can't afford that shit. So we're not doing it. And I was like, so she's got a brick phone. He's like, brilliant. That's what we are encouraging. But I did hear a friend of mine made a really smart idea, which I'm really excited about. Once Billy's established

and she's got a little group of friends, I'm going to try and convince all of their parents to get a landline fitted. And then I'm going to buy one of those burger phones that she can have in her room. Yes. Let's take it back. Yeah, I think so.

Take it back to the old school. I'm here for that. So anyway, yeah, she's off to high school and graduation a couple of weeks. How did they start calling it high school? I thought it was American thing. Well, it's called school high school. Oh, okay.

Oh, God. Can we bleep out the school? Thanks. just honestly so yeah that's that's me yeah well done thanks for sticking with us we banged on our bags unnecessarily for about 15 minutes of that

okay I wrote to stand the script I was like if this is Netflix you probably is he a are you still watching sign boy now oh I hate that judgey thing and I have to say based on that last bit of conversation that actually I had no idea it would go that way but also

who the fuck do you think you are Netflix I know because also if I'm not still watching, then I'm probably not there to turn it off. I'm either asleep or I've gone. I think it's quite good though. It's like a little checking going, hey, stop doomscrolling kind of thing. Fuck off. It's my responsibility not yours, Netflix. Okay, all right, fair enough, stop judging me. If I want to sit all day and watch Real Housewives, I'm going to sit all day, actually not on Netflix, but I'm going to sit all day and watch it. And you can shut up. Oh, God, I'd love to do that right now.

Right, this week's topic. Is that what we're doing? Yeah. Quick intro from us today. I like it This week's topic is Yippie gay motherfucker You're never the only one who still hasn't confessed something to their parents

I'm so excited Okay so I've written my script Obviously and I've said This isn't something I've experienced Because I tell my parents everything And in general that's true But then I realised there was one story That I haven't told them

So I thought you'd based it on this I thought you'd based it on a story I was waiting to hear I was good story Well now I've got one Okay Okay but I have always generally told them everything, even when they definitely didn't want to know.

I remember when my dad was working for the local council, sorry, he'll be mad that I've said that, that he was the leader of the local council in Skipton, big drug problem in Skipton. And he was telling me that weed was a gateway drug to ending up in a crack den, darling. Did he say that? Yeah, and I decided to tell him

that I'd been doing hard drugs for years and never once smoked weed. Did you? Yeah, and I thought I was helping. How old were you? It's 19, 20. 19. I thought it was helping,

adding a little bit of nuance to the situation, but it didn't go down very well. No. I told them when I'd lost my virginity. Again, that was unwanted information. Dad choked on his poached egg and mum drove me to the doctors and put me on the pill.

Straight away. Straight away. I was 14. I asked my mum if I could get my belly button pier. She said absolutely not. Under no circumstances, I went straight out and did it and then called her to tell her I'd done it.

That's mad. Yeah, I know. It's weird, isn't it? that being said yeah um i did come up with something yeah that on reflection now i don't know if i want to share but we're going to share it okay so i was i don't know i was 22 yeah do your parents listen to this no because dad can't work out how to start podcast oh fantastic honestly it's brilliant i'm like dad all you have to do is go Alexa play you're never the only one do you want him to listen to this i don't know if i feel comfortable your dad listening to

into this. Oh, he'll be fine. Really? Yeah, anyway. I could just never meet him or look him in the eye. No, it's a big one. Okay, so baby was 22 and my friend, I'd met a friend working in the summer in Switzerland, she's from Australia and she was a German teacher. And obviously there, some holidays were over Christmas and she was bringing a load of her kids over to Germany over Christmas for, like, an exchange.

Yeah, sorry, I zoned out a bit then. Sorry, great. Are you back? Sorry. Are you back in the room? What did you get stuck on? I'm really tired. I'm really tired. today. Where did you leave me? You said something about Germany. Right. So she's a German teacher in Australia. The girl. Right. I'll start again. Shall I? Fucking out. Sorry, I had asleep for my bed last night. Are you ready?

Okay, I'm really concentrating hard now. Okay, so I met a girl in Switzerland when we're working the summers and she was Australian. Got it. She was a German teacher. And because in Australia they have their summer holidays over Christmas and New Year. Yeah. Because they're in the other hemisphere. Yeah. Yeah? Still there?

Still with me? A lot of countries. Yeah. All right, go on. She had to bring, she was doing an exchange with her kids. So she came over to Berlin with a load of kids to go on exchange for Christmas and New Year. Yeah. So all the kids were deposited happily in their families. Yeah.

And she's like, look, I'm free. And I'm in Berlin over New Year by myself. Do you want to come? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Flew out to Berlin. The night before New Year's Eve, we did that epic failure of going out on a massive one. Went out for a few drinks.

Bearing in mind, I don't speak. any German. She speaks fluent German. Yeah. We're in a bar. We're drinking. We meet a guy. I remember he's got a bald head and a big watch. That's it. That's all I remember. Yeah. She's chatting away, blah, blah, blah. She looks at me and she goes, listen, this guy's got some, he's got some drugs back at that. Do you want to go, do them? Obviously, I'm an addict. I was like, yeah, sure. I don't care. Whatever. He's got some Coke. So I was like, okay, fine. So we go back and get some Coke. Next thing I know, he's handing me a cigarette. And I was like, oh, I'm all right for a cigarette. But like, the gear would be great. And he was like, no, the gear's in there.

so we smoked cocaine which is crack which is crack you were smoking i mean it was a posh way of doing crack you was smoking crack with a german teacher and a bald man with a big watch yeah in his flat in nobody else in the world knew exactly knew where we were it doesn't end there so we was we were smoking crack not through a pipe i hasten to add you know and anyway next thing i know we're in threesome Oh my god, with the bullman with a big watch Oh God, in my head he looks like Oh no, we were in a threesome And we were so fucked up

That I do remember a vague recollection Of putting all of our contact details On his wall in Sharpie It was awful Anyway, then I remember About, I want to say like 9.30 in the morning We were there all fucking night Oh my God

And then it's New Year's Eve by this point Yeah, I started to drop I was like, we need to get out of here. Like that real sense of like... Oh, it's making me feel sick. Yeah. Oh, it's giving me the hebe-jibis. Anyway, so we left.

And I remember, like, being on such a downer that was standing on the metro platform tube. Like, this is how down I was. And I was like, I could just jump in front of this truck. Like, it was that fucking dark. Anyway, I then called my mum sobbing from the hotel room. Yeah. Because they were driving to Spain.

They went to Spain every year for the winter. Yeah. And I was like, you have to come and get me. Come and get me! She's like, we can't come and get you. I was like, you have to come and get me. How old were you again? About 22.

Okay. And she went, listen, have you done anything illegal? I was like, no. Lie. Have you slept with anybody? No. Double lie. I've slept with two people at the same time.

She's like, well, it's not that bad then. You'll be all right. And I hung up and I was like, this is the, I've never told them that story. I love two things. The two things are basically with the worst thing. Yeah. She was like, listen. If you've not done anything illegal

and you haven't slept with anybody, you're fine? I was like, I'm not fine then. I'm really, I am really far from fine. Anyway, New Year's Eve was a bust. We decided I was in all sorts of trouble. Do not do crack. Oh my God.

It is not good. Oh, it's making me feel, ugh. So we decided that we couldn't stay in on New Year's Eve, which is foolish. Like, actually, I should have just stayed in beds, but we thought we'd go see a movie. Anyway, we got to the theatre and they were like, we're not showing any movies.

It's New Year's Eve. You fucking idiot. So I had like a glass of water sipping at the, at the, they had a little, like a little bar in the cinema. Had a glass, it was sipping a glass water. My friend was throwing down a beer. I don't know how she did it. And she was like, it's just the drugs.

It's just the drugs. And I was like, I don't know if it was just the, you know, I genuinely thought I'd broken myself. Oh my God. It's the biggest bust ever. Honestly, I don't think I've told many people that so it's big one. How long did it take you to come back from that? It was not, it was, I think by the next day or so I was all right.

You know, it was 22, I was bouncing back. Also, you're, you're so far away from your creature comfort in another country. That was, I felt so, yeah. Yeah, it was a lot. Yeah, so I never told my parents that. Oh, and now you still want your dad to, like, ask Alexa? I mean, there's no chance. There's no chance.

You can't even put a fucking paper in his own printer. We're fine. I mean, I thought mine was bad, like hiding my belly button piercing from my dad for years. Actually, it was, what was, actually, I haven't got a story that I haven't. Come on then. Do you want it? Yeah. Do I want it?

You're joking? So I, in the holidays and I was living in, back in Tenery. Does the Pope shit in the woods? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Well, it's a mixture of the two. It's like, does the Pope have a balcony or does a bear shit in the woods? So you mix them up for comedy value. And I had a, my dad had got me this moped, but it was like, like, put together with

fiberglass glue and gaffer tape. And yeah. And it basically been used to carry bananas up and down the mountains. and my friends all who lived over there full time. We're in Tenerife still. We're in Tenerife and they're like, see, you're concentrating. Well done. Nice to have you here. I can do two things at one.

I can't. Anyway, it's embarrassing enough this thing. But when you pulled the throttle down on it, it didn't immediately move away. So you had to time it so that if you were trying to get a gap in the traffic, that you'd pull it down and then you'd have about a second. Yeah, delay. Yeah. Problem is, if you're off the back of quite a few sex on the beaches down on the Veronica's,

and you get on your moped with no helmet. So you're drinking and driving? You drink drive. Yeah, I'm like 17 at the time. And I pulled out, and this is the, if you ever went to Tenor, I don't know if this is still the same now, but back in those days, in the 90s,

you had a big long strip. Yeah. The Veronica's where all the clubs are and the bars and the big McDonald's. Yeah, like the play de Las Americas and all of that together. And I pulled out on, and bam, I timed it wrong, hit by a taxi. bike went flying up the, up the road one way.

I went down the other. Did you have a helmet on? No helmet. I had, and I had on this really slutty, tiny piece of material, one might call a dress. Not many people though. I got it from Jane Norman or Morgan or Cook-Eye. Oh, where have they? I know, and it was like holtleneck string and then just, and then very short.

And then underneath that, because the dress wasn't slutty enough. I had these red lace, like G-string on. Great. So, my bike's gone up there, I'm there, and I thought in my, you know, in the, not probably in the best mindset, but not in the best mindset, I thought to myself, I'll just pretend to be dead.

I'll pretend to be dead and all this will go away and all the people that I can start to hear crowding around me and all the traffic that has stopped, that will all go. will all go. If I lie here long enough they'll just leave me alone. I lay there and then I kind of and the realisation hit

when there was just a slight breeze and I realised my entire dress was up, my tits are out were you wearing a bra? I wasn't wearing a bra it was a holter neck. It was all there so then I had to pretend to alive myself again. Came back from the dead. I did this

I did this and thank God for all the Amdram. the dress down and then I was just like I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine and someone's there and they've kind of got my bike and the wheel's facing a different way from the handlebars and someone's got the keys and they're like you're not going on your body

and I'm like I'm fine I literally just live up the road I'm just a bit pissed I'm fine I mean I was pretty sober by this but I was just I just wanted to get out of there as quick as I could and the bike was so shit anyway so I've got the handlebars facing to the side the wheel facing straight ahead and I'm like I'm doing this by hook or by cook And this guy was like, listen, just let me, I will come on the,

but to make sure you get there safe, he probably wanted to, I mean, after seeing these bad boys, right? He wanted some of that. I've seen them. Yeah. You know, I get it. He's only human. He's only human.

So he wanted to come on my wonky bike with the slatty girl. And I, um, and I was like, please, I, this can't get any worse. My bike is not going to move with you on it. And he's like, don't be ridiculous. I went, I swear. So then in front of everybody's still standing there, I had to hold the ignition down. and the thing just went just to prove how shit your bike was

just to prove how shit and then he got off and I went flying and Canada and the bike was fucked I was covered in scratches what did you tell your parents I just I basically managed to cover up everything

like for the rest of the holiday didn't let them see my mom and dad was separated at times I was just living my dad and he was so busy kind of you know bonking everything that moves so I was like kind of managed to kind of cover it up

never told them that and I just said the bike I said oh I think someone hit it Yeah, and I've found it on the floor like that. I love all of that stuff. I have to say, though, just before we get into the listener people stuff that they send in, I've got no words today, Jimmy and I have said to the girls, because my biggest fear is like when I think about some of the situations I got myself into,

and then I didn't want to call my mum and dad because I thought I'd be in trouble. So we've, from the minute they were, like, getting themselves into sticky situations, we have said we have a no-questions-ask policy. Okay. So whenever the kids find themselves in a situation where they're like, fuck. Right. And then they think, I don't want to call mum and dad because I'll be in trouble. Call us.

No questions asked. We'll come and get you. Yeah. We might ask some questions in the morning. Yeah. But like I don't ever want my kids to be in a situation where like they feel they can't call us. Yeah. For fear of getting into trouble.

But this is the thing. That's what I say as well. I don't want you to feel like, oh my God, I can't call my mom and dad because what will they do? Yes. And I want them to be like they'll know what to do. Yes, exactly. Do you know what I mean? We'll bury the body.

We'll do whatever. Totally. Okay, so, here we go. Confession number one. Excited. My husband and I have never told our parents that we're married. But then she goes... That is ridiculous.

Are you kidding me? No. She goes, maybe not such a big confession. No, I think it's pretty big. she said we got married if you shut up and listen sorry I'm gagging for it today gagging for it we got married

22 years ago 22 years have been married not told she said we were at uni living together and had been for a year or so and where we lived at the time married couples could get a government grant if they were in full-time study we basically went you know what let's not be chumps who miss out on free cash

as good a reason to get married as any we'll get married in secret and if it doesn't work out we'll get divorced no biggie know that thing when you wait too long to correct someone who gets your name wrong or you wait too long to get back to someone in the moment passes. Yeah, that sort of happened. We always meant to people or make up some shite about being in France one holiday and just spontaneously deciding to get married and announce it to everyone. But we sort of never got round to it. We've now been

married so long, there's really no good moment to tell them. And I sort of think the parents, especially the in-laws, and she says, hi, mum-in-law, I'm looking at you, will just be offended. So yeah, I wonder if I'm the only one. Have you ever got married in secret? What? That is crazy. Because they're still together. Still together.

So now it's like, what a great story to tell. But the lies must be endless when people are like, you never wanted to get married. They must be like, oh, you know, we never really. And mum's always on a wedding, don't you? Yeah. Well, I think that's the rub, isn't it? Yeah. But also, I mean, I get it.

If they'd have done it straight away and gone, look, we actually got married last year, let's have a party. Great. Yeah. It is 22 years. 22 years. Oh, I would like you to confess, and I would like to hear what happens, please. You'd like a follow-up, part two. Yeah, exactly.

Definitely. We want a part-two, we want you to film it and send it in. Definitely. That will go viral. It's 100%. 100%. Hyundai P-O-V, telling our parents we've been married for 22 years. We'll put it on our podcast on Instagram.

Yeah, we will. Do it. Okay, so this one says, I've not confessed. For my 21st, my parents wanted to send me. and my now husband away for a lovely weekend. We chose Amsterdam for its beautiful architecture and tulips. In reality, we loved a joint or six and just wanted to go and get high in the home of getting high, and it was fab.

This is brilliant. I told my mum the tattoo I got whilst bunking off on an A-level revision day was temporary. I'm 43, and it's still there. I've never told her, I just make sure it's covered whenever I see her, my sister will probably see this Rach, keep quiet

and that's from Rebecca Dallinger on Instagram. She didn't say a non so I've outed you. I reckon mum knows. I reckon there's no that was like I was like with my belly button and I tried to cover it up and then just for a moment because it's a norm for you.

I remember my dad I was ironing something and I just heard this voice from across the other side he went what is that? Oh God it's bad. I know. The thing is so I don't understand why parents got so mad about that. Like a pierce it. A tattoo I get, it's permanent, whatever, but piercing, I was always like,

what's the fucking problem? I don't know. I could just take it out. Also, we wouldn't have the joy of being able to squeeze the shit out of that hole. We talked about that last time. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Oh, I'm thinking about it now.

I know, me too. I think mine's probably right. Save it for later. Yeah. We can have a little party. I could do it in your car because you won't notice the smell. I've left all the windows, though, before we get back in it. It's not. going to be enough. I told you, I've got a valet coming. Yeah, that's not going to work either.

Tell me another story. Okay, an non. When I was in kindergarten, me and another kid touched each other's private parts. I don't know why I'm laughing, sorry. But I think that's quite normal, isn't it? I'll show you mine, you show me yours. I feel like somebody just needed to get off that chest

and that was nothing to do with their parents. Agreed, agreed. Anonymous again, that I was the one who ran the car off the pier. Oh. I wouldn't know what pier. I wouldn't know what car. So many questions. I want to know who you blame.

Who did you throw under that particular car, peer-running car? Who was it? When I was a teenager, we got into an argument with my parents. I stormed off and punched a hole in my bedroom door and promptly covered it with a new poster. Over a decade later, I'm dreading the day that poster gets taken down. I can't believe your parents have not taken that poster down. I went to boarding school at 11.

My mum and dad turned my bedroom into a B&B room the second I was out of the door. They would have found that in a hot minute. Imagine. I love the fact they're still hoping maybe you're going to come home. Imagine coming home though from boarding school. That's so sweet. And being like, oh, yeah, you just, you're in.

And then they're also, this was the other thing. Not only did I not have a bedroom anymore. Yeah. But they used to be annoyed that they lost income on one room because I was home staying in one. Dad'd be like, oh, not working at full capacity now, are we? Not this person's parents. They obviously love her.

Yeah, they're obviously doing that. Okay. My parents think that my wife is the first girl. I ever dated. It's true. They also think she's the first girl I ever tried to date. Not true. Four years before I met my wife. Oh, this is actually quite sad. Four years before I met my wife. I met a girl who wound up being an amazing friend. We talked for months, music, hobbies, you name it. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date. We never got a chance to date because she died. Suddenly, a week before what was going to be our first date. The whole thing had me so rattled. I couldn't bring

myself to try again for a long time. Glad I did, though, or I never would have found my wife. For those few years, I'd get ridiculed by everyone and everything for being alone. all the time, including by family. Nobody knew what happened. I actually didn't tell my wife until last year. We've been trying to start a family and struggling with it. My wife started mentioning potential baby names. One of the names she named happened to be the same name of the girl I knew many years ago. Not exactly a common name. I told her I couldn't and why and she totally understood. That's so bittersweet. Isn't it? That's really like made me very emotional. But it's also like, you know, if you're being ribbed by your family and nobody knows what happened. And that's

real trauma and he's nobody's just lived with that by himself thank you for sharing that with this as well i hope you feel a little bit better of getting that off your chest as well yeah this one um i obviously related to except that i talk about everything i used to have a problem with alcohol but i'm now 11 years sober um um anon that i skipped out on a week of college and followed my chemical romance on tour with my friend that and i'm pansexual don't just explain to me what the pansexual is i think it means everything there's so many it means everything everyone everyone everywhere. I think it means it doesn't matter. Whatever if I like you. Like animals. What? Like everything you're saying. No. Like a candle stick or something like

no like any variety of gender sexuality variations. It's all good. I think. Pansexual pan means everything. Right. Okay. Okay. Am I right? Am I wrong? I don't know. I just do a quick Google on that. As I say, we just pretend. I'm very cis heterosexual, so it's, you know, I'll admit. Unless you're a boarding school. Unless I'm a boarding school. We had never told that story, didn't I know.

I think if I say Princess Thunder, you might, did you not remember me telling that story? No. Yeah. If Princess Thunder was playing in a dormitory, you knew what was going on. That was the calling. I was like the white sock on the doorknob.

Are you kidding? No. Speaking of socks. Thunder. That was how I used to get off. What? Like to get a pair of tennis socks. Roll on them in my bed.

What? Like rubbed against them? Yeah. You dry hump socks. I told you I love dryumping. Yeah, but socks. Yeah, I just discovered it by accident one time and I hadn't put my laundry away. It was the best discovery ever.

Oh my God. I love that for you. It's like the girl version of the crusty sock. My best friend. Did you have a favorite pair of? of socks. Yeah, just like the thick tennis socks because they were like a bigger ball.

Yes, I understand. I think that's why I had that thing about like hockey socks. Yeah, I didn't have, didn't play hockey. But although they're a bit, you didn't play hockey? No. I just thought you were a hockey player. Do you do sports? No sport.

No sport at all. No. Oh no, of course. I've seen you running. I think that was going. Can we even call it that? Can you imagine playing you? No, we can't. Imagine you playing hockey with those arms.

That stick just going fucking white. round and round. Can you imagine? We weren't allowed to do sport at our school. Why? In case we hurt ourselves because we were all dancing and singing and... Fucking, uh... Rolling on socks. Princess precious over here, rolling on socks.

Just because I was at a vocational school, how does that make me precious? Can't possibly play netball in case I break a nail. I didn't make the rules. It's true. But I think that's silly though. All right, well, I agree. I agree. This is great.

Go. I haven't told my parents that I have... had a threesome with their best friends who also happened to be there. Stop! Stop! Stop! Hold on a second. I'll read it again, so you're concentrating. No, no, no. I haven't told my parents that I had a threesome with their best friends who also happened to be their neighbours.

My parents are extremely conservative and I don't think they'd even believe me if I'd tell them. I don't think you have to be extremely conservative to be a little bit uncomfortable with that. Hmm If my daughter Imagine doing something with your parents' friends I mean they're in their 80s now So that's weird

Yeah but even before Yeah I'm imagining my daughter Doing something with our friends Oh no thank you Oh my goodness But if she had to I could tell you exactly which ones I would not let her anywhere near

Also I'm just thinking If your parents are extremely conservative They're probably not the best of friends these are other friends, are they? Yeah, unless it's just like, maybe they're like some sort of weird Mormon and they've got this kink or something. Yeah.

Or maybe they were just grooming you. Yeah, we don't have any information about ages or anything. We need more information. That's just, honestly, absolutely shocking, but brilliant. It's brilliant. When I was 13, I used to run this fight club. People would pay me to see

12 and 13 year olds beat each other up. How good is that? And you broke the first rule. You do not talk about fight club. Oh my God, why did I not put that in? So good. She says she's not good with it. She's great.

Okay, stupid trip at night when I was 16. I was staying at my family's rural holiday house, more like a cottage with my friend. Parents thought we'd spend the whole night there. It's in the middle of nowhere. But instead, we dressed up, drove nearly 30 kilometres on a moped. It's like you.

That's what we used to do. To a nearest train station took a train to a bigger city about an hour and a half away. We had some drinks on us and went to chill outside of the bar. Maybe midnight 1 o'clock. We were minors, so we couldn't get it. We couldn't get in, so we just chatted with a guy who was well into his 20s, closer to 30, even maybe. We joined him and another guy to their apartment. The things we do. Like, do you know what I mean?

The situation. And there's no fear. The stupid situation. And there's no moment where we go, this is really, anyway. We joined another guy at their apartment. Nothing bad happened, but God, how stupid was that and how bad it could have been when I think about it now. I think I even made out with the guy a bit and he even Oh my God, that reminds me of the time I made out with a red-headed 30-year-old in Stringfellows, and I think it was probably only about 15. Oh, my God. You see? We were talking about this in the other episode, about the age gap, but at that age, you're like,

I'm in here, I'm this age. You know, your head is not. Why was I in Stringfellows at 15? I mean, so much from pack, though. I don't know about you, but a guy who's almost 30. Even thinking about sex with a 16-year-old seems wrong. Luckily, we just kissed, and I deleted his number or blocked him or whatever you did before the times of WhatsApp. In the early morning, we took a train back.

down, back and drove back to the cottage. I'm 26 years old now. We still reminisce about this every now and then with my friend with a mix of amusement and horror, but I don't think I'll tell this to my family anytime soon. That, and I once drove my moped while drunk. This is you, isn't it? Nothing happened, but that must have been one of the most stupid things I've ever done. Never drink and drive kids. Absolutely. This one says, I haven't told my parents that I don't believe in God. Never have. Even since before they spent all. that money sending me to Catholic school. When I was a kid, I was playing in the attic area of the workshop building behind our house. I really shouldn't have been playing around there,

especially alone as it was old and had broken junk around. Anyway, my foot slipped and I fell through the ceiling and landed directly on my back, knocked the wind out of me, but otherwise I was fine. I stopped playing around there after that and never told my parents because they would have made a big deal out of it. Even now I'm 30. The amount of things we did that we knew we shouldn't be doing. Yeah. Like, I remember my best friend and I once decided that we were going to get, she had this really big house and a big attic space upstairs that was all like made into bedrooms.

And we collected from the many, many bathrooms every loo roll. Yeah. And then we got as many buckets and big bowls and things as we can. We filled them with warm water and we put all the loo roll in there to make this like mush. Yeah. And then we threw it or covered the whole ceiling every, wall in one of these bedroom and they had to have the whole fucking thing we plastered. Are you that I like

that's just crazy but that's how old were you? Oh we were primary school like maybe like 11 10 11 but it's that 90s parenting thing isn't it because like they just did your own devices yeah so it was their own fault really yeah we also decided in the same room that we

had two massive bean bags and we decided we were going to open them all so we covered the whole room with those polystyrene balls they are a nightmare it was like knee high Room like this size and it was knee high with polystyrene balls

Have you ever tried to hoover a polystyro If they don't They're like No no no no No yeah And then they stick to you Everywhere What do they do Emma

How do those Polisterian balls go? You only get to enjoy that If you're watching Yeah Do it again no No No no no

No That's gonna catch me Oh I love it What's you gonna say Have you ever done that thing Where you said You're staying at a friend's house and they say they're staying at your house and then...

No, I was at boarding school and all that nonsense was happening. In the holidays, though, you didn't do anything like that? Well, no, because I lived in New Yorkshire Day or so it was like, if I was going somewhere, they, no. No. We did do things where we were like, I'm going to stay, like, Antonio, my best friend, we're like, we'll stay, I'm staying at Antonia's. And then we would say, can you give us a lift to the park?

Yeah. And then we'd go to the pub. Right, okay. And get shit-faced. Yeah. And then have to get back to the park to be picked up shit face. And hope they didn't. notice. And then they used to go, have you been smoking? And we'd say, no, we've just been

standing downwind. Yeah, around people that have been. Yeah. I remember the time, um, again, in Tenerife, where me and my friend Sophie, our curfew was just so, uh, like 10.30 was supposed to be back. Everything's getting started. It's all kicking off then at 10.30 at Broncos and Dan, last America's. So we were like, right, fuck this. We always miss out on the fun. You say you're staying at mine. I'll say I'm staying at yours. Yeah. Then what we'll do is, you know, we'll, you know, we'll just go out for the night. It would be great. I mean, all the nights, I think we ended up going out. It was changeover day. It was empty. It was like a ghost town. And we were like, we can't go home. No. Like, what are we going to do? So we end up, I mean, to go back to the apartment

block where I lived and we had to go get underneath the tarpour. It was so cold as well. Like, it was like, there's no sun, you know, it's like freezing. So you thought you were just going to be out all night? Yeah. We thought we were going to be partying all night. And we ended up sleeping under No, we slept on sunbeds by the pool under the tarpaulin. Did you get eaten alive by mosquitoes? No, we were all right. And then I remember my dad, I could always, my dad used to do the markets in the morning.

I've remembered something else. I've never told my parents. There you go, it's all coming up now. And then I remember hearing his car leaving the car park. And it was the best sound. And I knew he was going off to the market early at six. And then we just like, went upstairs into our house. And we were like, just, I just remember, like, eating, like, so many digestive biscuits in tea.

And just being like, oh, I can, you know, we've survived. We've survived. We've survived. Never again, never again. I, when I was about, I just graduated from universities. I was about 21 maybe. And I wasn't feeling great. I think I'd just been dumped.

Yeah. And dad said, look, why don't we go to the south of France? Just the three of us. Because, you know, it might be nice. And I thought, okay, great. And we went to the hotel that I recently took my kids to, yeah. And anyway, we were sat there and I was doing it. And there was a guy who was working at the hotel.

How old were you? 21. And obviously throughout the week it was like, last night, on the last night, it took me around the little path to the next beach along where we ended up shagging. Yeah.

I told you my body count was high. And I got beaten alive all over my body by sandflies. Oh no. And in the middle of the night because it wasn't like like probably about three o'clock in the morning I woke up I was three times the size I was everywhere I was on fire oh my god I had a temperature of 104 and my mum and dad were like what were you doing out on the beach

and I was like I was just like journaling and writing she's like do they get in your clothes I was like it's not the only thing that got in my clothes anyway they had to stop at a like a hospital on the way. I had to put me on an IV drip. Oh my God. And I've never told them it was because I was fucking slutting it around on the beach with some guy who came from Calais. I wanted to say Dieppe because do you remember that was in all the pressure?

But it was Calais of all the places in France. Is that really shit? Have you never been to Calais? No. It's really shit. Is it? It's basically just warehouse. is filled with booze. Right.

That's it. Yeah, it was rough. Not my finest moment. Funny of the things you forget, isn't it? Let's see. Oh, this one's a sad one. I'm not sure whether or not my parents know that I was bullied relentlessly at high school.

If they do know I was bullied, they for sure don't know the full extent of it. That scares the shit out of me. That's the sort of thing. When they go quiet, they don't tell you shit. This is brilliant. Not me, but my brother. Just going to throw him right in.

the bus. My dad got a new girlfriend when we were in high school and his daughter, sorry, and her daughter was my brother's friend. Basically, my brother and her daughter were sleeping together and it all got pretty awkward when they found out they were going to be step siblings. Technically, there's nothing wrong with that. Well, I suppose it's... When does it get, is that weird if step siblings fall in love? Well, no, I don't think it's that. I think it's if you're going to be kind of living together, isn't it? Like, if your mum and dad are going to be living together. but if like that's it I don't know what happens if you're living together

in two step siblings who are not related yeah fall in love it feels like it should be weird but then I feel like it's love it's okay I think I mean if love it's okay it's okay okay um

one of my friends thought my parents were my grandparents can you imagine I mean that's probably our generation now because we've happened so late don't we in comparison God don't say that I'd be furious

I'd be fuming. Oh, well, the other day. So I went to pick up the girls from school. And as I walked in, there was one of their friends, a lovely girl who's now I'm not going to say, keep it anonymous. And I said, hey, darling, how are you? And she was like, yeah, I'm good, thanks, how are you? And then went off, got the girls. And on the way back, this girl I've been talking to, you said, can you just give me a lift home?

She lives like five steps away. But I was like, yeah, of course, gave a lift home. She said, do you know this girl that I was talking to? And I said, no, I don't know. And she went, well, she doesn't like you. I was like, I'm sorry, what? What? She went well, she said, oh, I can't bear her.

Is this a girl? Her age? Yeah. And I said, what have I ever done? What have I ever done to her? You know when you're like, I should be an adult? I'm not actually that annoyed about it. I was fuming.

Yeah. I was fuming. Because you want to know why? I wouldn't know why. She's like, oh, look at her hair. She's got, look at that bun. To be fair, it's a shit, it was a shit bun. Like I had the, you know, like the mum bum, but it was all over the place.

But I just thought. Sorry, she's judging you. on your mum, okay. Anyway, I said to this girl, I said, next time I'm in school, you point this bitch out to me. I'm going to kill her with kindness. Oh my God, have you done it yet?

Not yet, because I barely do any pickups and drop-offs. Graduation. I'm going to save it for graduation. What are you going to say? I don't know, I'm going to make, do it on the moment, but I'm just going to go up and introduce myself and just be really nice. Really nice.

But to be fair, my daughter's friend, who was the one talking to had just said, I told you, it was like, you were like the person you always want around because you're really sweet. And like, you always big everybody up and you're, and I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That ego needed stroking, didn't it? Didn't it?

Especially after that. Yeah. Okay. Um, a very good college friend failed a major class, uh, in her final semester in senior year, which was needed to graduate. Her parents were both doctors. Failing was not an option. Her degree was to be in nursing. Her parents and siblings were looking forward to traveling for the graduation ceremony.

She quickly enrolled in a summer class. to make up for failed classes and convinced the school to let her walk, as in allow her to walk across the stage and graduate, even though she didn't. She figured she'd tell her parents she was staying to work there in the summer

and they'd never know she got her degree later. It worked, they came, celebrated and she went home for a week, met her old boyfriend and cancelled the summer class and you guessed it, 30 years later, still no degree. She told them she didn't like nursing and had told them the spelling on the diploma

was messed up and would be mailed later they did have a unique name so she had all her bases covered she ended up getting married staying becoming a stay-at-home mum and uh and the family has not ever found out that she did not get a degree but they let her walk school oh my god so they think so they think she's got a degree in nursing that's an awkward one isn't it imagine you from a plane you did uni didn't you yeah so if you got the picture with the um yeah the what do they call it the mortarboard and the kit what is that all about i don't know it's not i didn't I didn't want to come back. I had to fly back from, I was working Switzerland

in the summer I didn't want to come. I was like, it's fucking boring. Yeah. My mum and dad were like, you're welcome. We have, I mean, I still went to university when it was free. Oh my God, they had to pay.

Was it polytechnics? No, I didn't, I went to a Red brick unit. I went to a Russell Group university. I'll have, you know, fucking polytechnic. Not there's anything wrong with polytechnic. I mean, but like, fuck me. I went to Nottingham uni, not Trent.

We used to chant at the, at the Derby cricket matches where Trent played the university I didn't chant it I didn't make this up by the way but the boys all used to chant your dad works for my dad doda

do that's it was yeah there's a lot of like old poly versus unique yeah anyway but I still went for free you didn't have to pay like 10,000 pounds a year like you do now but yeah they were like

you are gonna do that fucking photograph you've got the pictures up in their house I was the only kid that went to university and I was the last one so I suppose that was why They were like, if one of us, if one of my fucking children's going to university, we're going to get a photo. And have you got it? Is it up in the house still? I haven't seen it for a while.

Oh, yeah, maybe I think it's in the downstairs, Lou. My dad's got it up on the wall. Where did you go? I went to drama school. It's not university. But you get a university degree out of it. Did you? In what?

Performing arts. That's great. Yeah, I know. What's coming? Nothing. Don't. Don't. Not saying anything.

Anyway, my dad has got the picture up of me, my motorcycle, but the same. The thing is what I insisted, and the scroll. But I insisted on, and they had your parents in with you doing it. Oh, yeah, we didn't get the official photograph. Official photographer. And I was like, and because I was obsessed with the guy I was in at the time, and I didn't feel like my mom was accepting him. I made a real point of having him in the picture.

So now every time we go to my dad, Tony has to look at me. What was his name? Steve. All right, Steve. Me and my ex-boyfriend there with like, I'm not saying his full name. Oh, not seeing it. We'll talk about that next week, actually. Oh, yes.

Is it about Steve? No, but interestingly, I think there's going to be a lot that comes up. Are you done with all your stories? Go great. There's just one more. I haven't told my parents that I was a private military contractor and pilot of an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter in Afghanistan and not working an office job in London.

Why? Can you imagine? Well, because maybe he was like, they'll just freak the fuck out that I'm going to die. Imagine if you had died, though, and you died on that. lie. Oh my God. You'll be like, excuse me, sorry Mr and Mrs. Anonymous. We regret to inform you that you're, I don't know whether it's a man or a woman actually, but your daughter has been killed in combat. They'd be like, I'm in a minute. Oh, that's not a positive note to end.

She's supposed to be working at fucking office shoes in London. I thought, I thought he was in BT in London. I thought he was in accounts. Yeah, she's in banking. She's in HR. What? Lovely. On that note. On that note. know what we didn't get, we didn't get any voice notes this week. Shame on you. Maybe it's because it's confessing and they're worried. Maybe we need to get one of those voice code of things.

What do you call them, Ben, what they're called? When they disguise the voice. Oh, yeah, like they use on true crime documentaries. Or we could just get, you could write it and we'll get Kat to read it out in her Brian Blessed voice. I can only say one sentence. Go on again. Jimmy, let me tell you about the time I was in Katz.

And she says that's her best impression. Give me yours No not Brian Blessed Any impression I don't do impressions No go on No tucked up for a rainy day No I'm going to think about that

I will dwell on that Do it Yeah I will Next week I'll come back firing Next week You can do an impression That would be a fun thing

Can people send us in voice notes Of their impressions Their best impressions Let's do that I love that Yeah we'll do that What

Let's do it Here's how we're going to do it. We'll get it sent to Shell. And she has to keep them private. And we have to guess who it is. And we have to guess who it is. We've just gamified it. Yes.

I'm into it. Now it's a competition. There you go. Then we have a scoreboard with like Kat and Emma. And every time I get one right, I get a little. And every time you get one right, you get a little. And then whoever gets the most marks wins. Yes.

I'm all over it. I'm all over it. Love it, love it. This is the kind of stuff that happens. If you have any ideas that you want us to do here on the show, if you want to have your say if you want to share your stories anything as always

you know this we are open books and we are here ready to hear from you let's add in some questions well you want to send in any questions we could do a little mini AMA what does AMA mean because you're not down with the kids what does it mean

ask me anything I worked it out my brain caught up did it did it I could see the fucking steam coming out your ears the excitement the excitement okay so here are all the numbers

I haven't memorized them yet because it's me so if you do want to send this a voice note or a message we can we can take it on WhatsApp, which I think is probably most popular way to do it. And the number for that is 07-457-402-704. Kat likes me to tell you that you have to keep your voice notes to 90 seconds.

Everybody likes me. Nobody wants to hear you bang on for four minutes. I mean, we can edit it though. Yeah, but it's boring. Yeah. Let's just keep it concise or fuck off. I mean, I just think it's lesser you. Or, of course, you can Instagram us.

You can DM us. I'm only joking I love you. I love you too. at You're Never the Only One. Or if you like to email, you can also email us on You're Never The Only One at gmail.com. All the details will be in the show notes. And don't be, don't misspell your, it's Y-O-U-R-E. Peave this one.

It's not that. We miss out on emails. Oh, really? Well, I imagine so. Maybe you should have made it a bit of an easier, like, maybe you could have just made it Y, N. Wouldn't that have made more sense? Well, I tell you what. You shortened it at Gmail.

Next time, why don't you set some shit up and take a little bit of fucking... I still haven't even sell the only fans, have I? No, take a little bit of responsibility. We're still waiting for the only fans account to be made. This was season two. Early on, we were going to make a fortune out of selling our boob sweats, night sweatsets, boobs sweatsets,

the nipple hairs, weren't we? No, we're going to keep it. Oh, we? I thought we give it to charity. This podcast has not paid for itself yet. It's not a fucking endless train of money. I am not... Do I look like a tree?

on which money is growing. Oh, we today you do. I actually am in green, right. And with that, we are done. But we will be back, of course, next week. Emma is in the topical driving seat. What are you talking about next week? Oh, yes, sorry, yeah.

We're talking about the one that got away the week after, aren't we? Sorry, so that's when we'll come back to my ex-boyfriend. I want to talk about catfishing. You're never the only one who's been catfished. Oh. And funny enough, my catfishing story is whilst I was actually with, Steve, said ex-boyfriend. Oh. Segway.

It's like we almost planned it. All right, with that, we are done. We hope you have a wonderful week, and we will be here next week. Say you're never the only one is written and presented by Kat Sims and Emma Nicolay and produced by Radiant Management. Executive producers are Katie Ray and Paramee Kodikara. Podcast operations are managed by Shell Regini, who also expertly takes care of the podcast social media. And our theme tune, Everybody Makes Mistakes.

is written and performed by the band Hot Salad. Never the only one. You're never the only one. You're never the only one. Don't live inside a shame because everybody makes mistakes. Oh. You're never the only one.

Never you're never on you're wrong But live inside your shame Because everybody makes mistakes Thank you.