You're Never The Only One - Thinking about leaving the city for the country? You're Never The Only One

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Welcome to Episode 4! This week Cat discusses the dilemma that keeps her awake at night. Should she leave London and move to the country? Plus, it's publication week for Cat's new book The Mental Load Diaries (buy it here!), Emma gives her daughter's school performance a damning review and don't, whatever you do, come for Vanessa Feltz.Hit the follow button wherever you listen to your podcasts and drop us a 5⭐️ review please!---------------------------------------------------------------------Got a comment on this week's episode? Or any episode? Got a funny story to share? We want to hear from you now!Email: [e-mail]: [phone] (please keep voicenotes to 90 seconds or less)DM: @yourenevertheonlyone---------------------------------------------------------------------Follow You're Never The Only One on Instagram, TikTok and YouTubeFollow Cat Sims on Instagram, TikTok and SubstackFollow Emma Nicolet on Instagram and TikTok.

You're never the only one who can't decide whether to leave the city for the country. Fucking hilarious. I know. Very aware of my cat, defot, defot, defect, de, bleat, quahua. Defects of character. Well, this is a problem. I really fucking liked Tatul. Why?

I was delighted because it kept them off the fucking streets. It's never the only one. Right. Okay, hello. Where am I looking? Hello, and welcome to you're never the only one. The podcast, you're going to like this cat. The podcast that chapped, GPT described as sounding like the official podcast of people who trauma bond have a crystal collection and cry during yoga sound baths. Okay, that last bit, it might just be me. No, that's me too. Would you do that? I just thought you're dead inside. I am. I am, but I, even I cry at yoga sound baths. It's funny that actually, because I was thinking last night was your book launch. Yeah, it was. And I did see some people saying that you'd cried, that there was tears. No, no, no, I made them cry.

Oh, you made them cry? Yes. Okay, all right. Not because I was mean to them, but because I said something nice to Jimmy. Probably the first nice thing I've said in 17 years. You deserved it. Yeah, well, I had the way. I had a microphone, so you know.

If you were listening for the first time, this is the lovely Cat Sims, who yes, had a book launch. last night, searched high and low for the perfect yellow dress for that very special night. And she finally found it. And as I said, honestly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, you looked absolutely stunning. Thank you. Yeah. I didn't know Big Bird had released a summer collection. But now I do. Well, let's hope that the summer collection and my book gets into the charts. Thanks, darling. It's so good to be back. And at this point, I'd usually read. most Emma. You know, let's be honest, she gives me enough

fucking material. But actually, this week, based on what happened last week actually, on your way home, she gave me a call and she said, I just want to say that I've had the most wonderful two days. I love that we're doing this. You're a pleasure to work with, all of this stuff. It really touched me because there was no jokes. Don't drink and drive kids.

Yeah, don't, yeah, that's true. But so I thought I'd take this week, rather than mosting you to just say how much I bloody, I really love working with you. You're really talented. You're waiting for the roast. There isn't one. Honestly, I can't imagine anybody else I'd rather do this podcast with.

So let's skip the roast and do a little recap of what we've been up to this. Oh, I know. You didn't turn up to my book launch. Fuck you. Listen, it wasn't that I didn't turn up. People are talking. They're like, oh, Emma wasn't there.

Did anyone say? Did anyone say, did anyone say? Have Emma and cat fallen out? Why wasn't she then? Did they, did anyone really say that? It's all over the internet. People are, they're in a flutter. Hold on a minute.

I wasn't the only person that didn't turn up. There were other people there. Jesus Christ, yeah, let's talk about everybody else that didn't turn up. All right, I'm just saying, look. Do you know who did turn up? Who? Vanessa Feltz. Jesus Christ.

I think she'd turn up the opening of an envelope these days, wouldn't she? I will not hear a bad word said against Feltz. Feltz. I knew you were going to go. Not a bad word. She is a bad bitch. Let me tell you. Hey, I,

you come for Feltsie you fucking come for me honestly I wish I could have been there also if you're listening can I please be on your TV show to talk about my book thanks very much oh my God you're such a sick of fun I wish I could have come

I promise you I really do wish I could have come I think it would have been better than Molly's end of end of term of performance Are you kidding? Are you kidding me a room full of 100 adults in somewhere that's hotter than Bielzebub's butt crack for two hours Listening to O'Doposh kids absolutely annihilate the Geordie accent.

They're doing Billy Elliot. Billy fucking Elliot. Do you know? Who picks Billy Elliot? I can only say three words in the Geordie accent. Intercontinental, four or copier, and Shostakovich. Are you serious? You're not going to say Kawasaki.

You've got to say Kawasaki. Kawasaki. And there you go. And ironically, you know, that you can say three words in the Geordy accent. In that two hours, guess how many lines Molly had? Not many. No, one consisting of three fucking words. Can you believe it?

Were those words intercontinental Shostakovich and photocopier? No. Oh, well then, fuck it. I couldn't even fucking hear it because the mic wasn't working. Of course! Oh, it's a shocker. Absolute shocker. Nobody wanted to be there.

No. Nobody less than Johnny, okay? Oh, I can just imagine. He's a bit ADHD though, isn't he? Oh, my God, 15 minutes before. I'd made the dinner. I'd had a day yesterday. It was a day.

And our lovely shell got into contact. She's like, could you do a little. could do a little post of the podcast. I went, no, I fucking can't. I literally... Boundaries. That's boundaries, darling.

I'm getting better. I'm getting... See, I knew there's a reason we were doing this. Honestly, I was just like, this is happening, that's happening. It was one thing to the next and I was cooking

and I'm cooking something separate for me. That's another fucking story. And then I said to Johnny, I called, text, WhatsApp, emailed just the word dinner in capital letters and shouted it and still didn't come

because he wasn't picking out the phone. Oh, I'd have thrown it in the fucking bin. And he rocks in and he's like, I said, we're going in 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes. Where are we going? He's there in his squash gear looking like, I can't even tell you what it looks like

in his squash gear, but the fact he will play squash just embarrassing. And I don't, only people in the 80s play squash. There you go. There you freaking go. All right. Although I do love it. You know, I used to play.

I haven't played for a while. I do remember quite enjoying squire. I think for ADHD is it's quite fun because it's like, bing, bing, it's like, you're probably right. And he's good at it. And I think the only thing I love about it is he comes home and he's buzzing

because he's good. Well, you know, that's good at it. Except this time he was grumpy because his dinner wasn't ready. Yeah, no, no, his dinner wasn't ready. He was, I'm going to be because I said, we're going, and he was like, going where? I was like, you know, to Molly's end of term show, you know, the thing that I said to you last week and you went, oh, I'd have to bloody go to that.

Right, okay, which I've mentioned quite a few times, like I'm missing cats book launch for this. God, I'm so gutted, numerous times. I almost believed you then. So sad, right? And then Johnny was, yeah. And he was like, what? Anyway, I was like, there's food on the table. There's little, there's jackfruit carnitas.

And he was just like, what? What the fuck is that? I was about to say, I'm angry on his behalf. Jackfruit, what? It's a plant-based thing. No, I know what jackfruit is. What was the second word? They're like these little taco things.

Like, like, anyway, the point is, I did that for him. And then, um, and I made him a pizza as backup. Is that what they call these things in the country? I don't know. But anyway, there was, I made a backup pizza. So it's fine. So, yeah, he had both. Right.

And we got ready in 15 minutes which you know you've got to give them out some credit for We're the man? We got there okay So I've got him and I've got the other little like kind of wriggly worm One that goes viral Don't don't listen You your account

Wouldn't fucking exist without that kid So I'm not hearing a bad word against barley either Don't you think I fucking know it I've been too scared to post anything ever since They don't want me They don't want me You just want Bali What do I do? Come, don't monkey dance

Just sell your kid I know the highest bidder Listen, until she decides she doesn't want to do it anymore, get everything out of her that you can. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Squeeze her every ounce. Anyway, last night, I was just like, no, I had the stuck between her and Johnny,

who was, Johnny was constantly moving, and he's like, oh, sweet, there's not a space for my legs. I was like, this is like being back in, like, the midwife with the penis thing. It's like, you're not that tall. You might need to go back and listen to the previous season to get that reference. Your legs aren't that big. Like, get over yourself.

there's someone next male went and I even went to the guy next mile I went he's taller than you shut the fuck up and they're providing you with beer like what you get beer at your school party beer wine this is what this is what's what

when you go to private school this is what the school fees paid because the more you pay the less they go but at least you get wine on a night in yeah you get warm wine so anyway so beside this I've got him and then I've got barley

and barley literally five minutes in she's going and I'm like I can't hate them for me then she leans over and whispers and I say whisper Barley whisper My fan is itching

She did not She did She went What does this stitis feel like This is the running commentary Can I sit on my knees I'm like So I had to do the

The smiling through the teeth You know the talking I'm lovely I'm soft dental parenting Can I just say When you do what we do And you know that you're on a platform Right

And you know that anywhere you go Especially if it's a family based thing Like if I go to Alton Towers Or you've just gone viral, Cat. Or you've just gone viral, or Bali's just gone viral. Exactly. I know that I have to be on my best parenting behaviour because it'll be that one time that I lose my shit

that somebody's like, I saw her and she's fucking abusive to her kids. So you have, it's really, it's quite a lot of pressure. Yeah. I mean, my kids benefit because I'm generally much nicer. Yeah, Mary Poppins. Yeah, Mary fucking Poppins. Yeah, yeah. Different story indoors.

But she was really testing you. Oh, mate. Legs over me. but the thing is every time she moved because in this kind of big room they've got these kind of flop down seats like the make it a theatre they're all connected so every time she moved or Johnny moved

the whole row is like a wiggling and I can see you know when you feel people moving and looking just bending forward to look just a very passive aggressive so I was like darling darling can we just stay still please and just wait for Molly's fucking

one line. She'll be coming in a minute. It was awful. And so genuinely, I would have much rather been a swanky book launch, you know, with no beer. No, there was bits of free bar. Oh my God, with a free bar. Free bar. And bowling. Not free. I paid for it. Okay. But for you, it would have been free. Well, there you go. And I would have taken full advantage. Yeah. Well, I wasn't. What about you? What you've been up to? Well, the team. It's the book launch last night. You're kidding. I swear. Hot newsflash, people. did I mention I wrote a book? So it was last night

and actually I have to say I am very, very good I used to do all these kind of events for other people when I had the marketing agency and influencer stuff and I used to love it. I never met a spreadsheet

I don't love. Doing it for yourself. This is why I never have a birthday party. I just can't bear it. The anxiety in the run-up which is nobody's going to come everybody hates me the book shit

is just too much for me to handle And then on top of it all, my literary agent, Anna Dixon, who I adore. She's lovely Anna. Isn't she? Yeah, well, she didn't come. Do you know where she went? Fucking Glastonbury. On the Wednesday.

I was like, pretty sure nothing starts happening until the Thursday. So I can't possibly. It's the only lift I've got. I was like, are you fucking joking? Anyway, she got a good roast in my speech. Oh, good. I did run it past her first. So I was like, by the way, I'm going to kick the shit out of you in my speech.

She's like fair. You got turned down for Glastonbury, a puppy, and... Oh, a puppy, yeah, let's talk about that. My friend Kira, who we stay with when we're down here recording. Who last week you said, do you know what? She's come to the book launch, so I might as well just like get a lift back with her, and then I'll be even closer to the studio. Yeah, and I also said to her, I'm really nervous about this.

I feel like nobody's going to come. She's like, we will be there to support you. And then she said, should I get a puppy? And I went, listen, I'm never going to say no to getting a puppy. Yeah. I did not think this through. Because of course she cancelled at the last minute. I can't come.

I've got the puppy. And she turned northern. Yeah. Jesus Christ. She took a slight Sean Coronation Street. She couldn't come for the puppy. I was like, she said, I can't ask my mum to babysit Debbie Arnold. I can't ask Debbie Arnold to babysit anymore.

And I went, I'll fucking ask her. And then I said, bring the fucking puppy. Yeah. No. She just didn't want to come. She didn't want to come. Neither did Anna. I did.

Just so you know. Anna who? Oh, no. Anna didn't. Anna who? That's your literary agent now. You're dead to her, Anna. You are dead to her, Anna.

Which Anna. So, but do you know what? It went really, really well. Once I'd done the speech, which I'm not great. Like, put me in my kitchen with a camera. I'll do anything. Yeah. Even, like, interviews, this, that, fine.

Put me in front of a room of people. Yeah. And a microphone to do a speech about me and something I've done. The worst thing in the world. I actually smashed it but oh it was awful once that was done

it was great I had a really good time saw lots of love people Até Joel turned up you know Attey no gorgeous gorgeous beauty she does this morning she's gorgeous

I'll show you anyway she turned up really really late last minute she ran in this is iconic she ran in she went

I am all over the place this is I did not want to miss it and I said I'd come so I'm coming within three minutes she'd got me by the step and repeat we'd done all the content And she banked it all, she went, I've got to go.

I love you, see you later. What's a step and repeat? You know, the board at the back of behind photos where it's got like the logos. Why is it called a step and repeat? Well, because when you do it on the red carpet, you like step, take the photos. Step again, repeat, take the photos, step again, repeat.

Oh, okay. So we, so she turned up, she, and you know when you think people, some people would like, well, that's a bit rude. It was absolutely brilliant. I thought she's gone out of her way to squeeze it. because she didn't want to let me down she wanted to get the content she fucking understood the assignment

yes it was wonderful and it was it was really lovely and I had a lot of friends from recovery there I had a lot of friends from like university like it wasn't just a big PR I mean it was a massive PR stunt obviously but like it was a bribe isn't it

like here's a free drink here's a free book share the shit sense of it so it felt like all of this stuff leading up to it where you said to me that day oh my God writing the book that's not the hard part it's flogging it and, you know, kind of putting yourself out there and got, like, it all paid off?

Well, it did. I mean, I still, that's just, we're not publication until next Thursday. So we've still got, like, I've got a load of BBC interviews. I'm doing BBC London next week and BBC West Midlands. Only because I've got a friend who works at BBC West Midlands and I was like, is there any chance you can squeeze me in? Is that how you keep getting that gig? Oh, no, she asked, she's my friend, but she came to me and said,

could you do that gig? And then we were friends. I do love that gig. doing it this Sunday. But she said, we'd love to have you on, but do you have any connection at all to the West Midlands? And I said, well, my husband's from Solly Hall. She went, can he come?

I went, yeah. So Jim is doing the interview with me. He's got a very limited number of talking points. But the point is he's from Solly Hall, and that's most important talking point. That's your in, amazing. Who knew that that would be the thing that paid off in the end, the fact that he's a Brummey?

Have you finished? Have I? No, no, I've got to, anyway. It's just that, I don't know about you, but I can hear from the toilet or the bathroom over there in the studio this kind of little dripping of water and being at the stage of life that I am,

that's quite risky. Right. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm bladder-wise. Why don't, should we ask, producer Ben? Can you hear, it sounds like, if you can turn off the water drips.

Can you hear it? While he's doing that, just to avoid banging on about the book, available for pre-order now. In fact, by the time you listen to this, available to purchase on Amazon. I thought I'd look at some of the weird and new stories going on. Oh.

And there's a couple that really tickled me. Okay. So Emma, do you know what a gangbang is? Well, having worked in... C-S or no question. Yeah. Do you know what a muck gangbang is? I'm assuming it's something to do with food?

So apparently, McDonald's has a secret menu that includes the muck gang bang. Is it muck or muck? Muck, muck, muck, muck, muck, muck, muck, muck, muck, muck. I don't know. Like muckbang. Oh, that's why they've called... Oh, clever. Mock bang.

Sorry, a little bit slow this morning. Muckbang. You know, like, you know, muckbang? Like, the videos where people like eat food, like, really, like... You know, like, ASMR videos. No. You know what I'm like that? It sounds like you're knob gobbling.

But it does sound like that when they're doing it. That's not what we're talking about. Okay, well, it is because... Well, if you let me finish... It's a play on the word, muckbang. Okay. Muckgang bang. If you ask for it, you'll get the monstrosity burger,

which is a double cheeseburger with a muck chicken inside it. And I was trying to think of other ones that they could do. Inside the burger? Well, yeah, like... Or it's layered. Like, lead. Like, it's not like that ducking, like, you know the one of the people. No, it's like bread, beef, chicken, beef, bread.

Mugang bang. I'm not into it. I was thinking of other things they could have. And I thought that they could have a muckfinger bang. Which is chicken, fill it a fish, chicken. I think I've had one of them. Anyway, that one tickled me. And also, you know how I love my Stanley Cup?

I've got her. I've got her now. She's gone. This is great. Now I feel great. My eyes are watering, sorry. Ironically, that's what happened when I had the morning. Do you know what?

We started this episode. We're both running on empty. It was so tired. And Emma said, and I was like, I don't know if we're going to, what we're going to do. And she was like, sometimes it's better. I think she might be right. Right, anyway, you know I love a Stanley Cup.

It's not cool, I get it. I'm a walking fucking cliche. But I can put ice in my Stanley Cup in the morning and it's still there in the evening. I love that. Anyway, apparently there's a girl, what's her name? Danielle Marie Lettering. She had a car crash.

Car burst into flames. Her Stanley Cup survived that unscathed and the ice was still in. minute. So if you're wondering why people spend 45 pounds on a fucking water bottle, that's why? You're going to see them apparently. I heard it on the radio on the way here. All of the Wimbledon tennis players have got them for exactly that reason.

I nearly bought you one today. I was in Oliver bonus on the way at Victoria Station. And there was one. It was beautiful, like corally bright orange colour. It was perfect. And I did pick it up and I thought I could get that for it. But it was 45 pounds. I got mine off vinted, brand new for like 29 quidge.

Sorry, so that's, it's brand new, so no one had been able to do that. No, no, no, you came in the box, came in the wrapper, all straws sealed, like, it was fine. Okay. But I thought, I'll buy a one and then, like, but 45 quid, I just couldn't. Oh, was that, was it going to be my, like, Christmas and birthday presents wrapped into one? Because I still haven't had them yet. Just saying. Did you enjoy that?

When was your birthday? I know you're not eating anymore, but, like, you know, the chocolate, like, got you at Christmas. Did you enjoy that? No, that massive chocolate bar. Oh, yeah, I did it all. Did you? This is white. why I'm on the fucking champs because I did that.

It was this big. Yeah, no, I did it all. Every last bit. And I don't even really like, now that I can say this to you, they don't really like the mint chocolate one. But I did it anyway, all of it, because I'm a fucking food addict. I thought you said you liked mint chocolate. No, hazelnut.

Yeah, Jimmy likes mint chock chip, ice cream. We might have talked about that. Anyway, so, yeah, that's it. That's me for now. Love it. Great. You're welcome. Look, prepared and everything.

God, that's really good. Do you like that? Yeah, I'm really impressed. Thanks. Next, we dive into this week's topic, am I right? It's the part that feels like you're kind of opening a group chat. Someone starts the group chat and then you get the texters and you get the voice noters and you get those that prefer to just, like you,

voyeuristically enjoy it from the sidelines. The lurkers. The lurkers. I'm a lurker on the school chat. I'm not on the school chat. Oh, I make Jimmy do that. Jimmy's on the school chat, isn't he? I know that that WhatsApp group is not going to bring out the best in me.

Very aware of my defa-de-foc, but, Blitzkawah. Defects of character. What is the group chat about this sweet cat? The group chat. Right, on the surface of this, it might not sound very interesting, but stick with me.

I can make anything funny. Right, you're never the only one who can't just... I can make anything funny. You're literally point. You're so up your own ass. Just proven my point. I go.

Look at you. See? Right. The audacity. Go on. Be funny. Go. you're never the only one who can't decide

whether to leave the city for the country fucking hilarious I know right listen we've been thinking about this for years I grew up in the country Jimmy grew up in the city I have loved living in London for 22, 23 years now

but the fact is I can't afford to live in any of the nice parts of London the place I live in is really stabby and I am sort of done the house is lovely isish I mean we're getting there I'm sort of done with compromising

and like stepping out of the front door seeing the fucking Sam's chicken wrappers and the old zombie apocalypse the druggies that run up the fucking street every day at five when the drug dealer messages them to tell them he's there I just I'm not I'm done my husband is a little bit more reluctant to move

I think he thinks if he leaves London he's never going to work again And I think we also both hate the idea of tackling the admin of it all. But also it's like we've got the kids and they're at school. And I just feel like completely overwhelmed in the do we, don't we? And if we do, when, all of that stuff. I love that we've got all of the culture, the experiences, everything on our doorstep. But I hate the traffic, the smell, the stains, the fucking bins overflowing, the discarded condoms

also we had that stabbing literally on your doorstep on my doorstep and that was you know I am aware that that happens everywhere and probably not in fucking Sussex where you live but it does happen everywhere like we had friend

we were talking to a friend who lives in Warwick they've decided that they're not going to send their kid to the school they were going to they're going to send her privately because that was a stabbing at their schools in Warwick do you know what I mean like I feel like we could move anywhere and there could still be these issues but there's nothing like having to staunch the flow of blood from a 15-year-old stomach on your doorstep

using your own towels to make you think there's got to be something better. So we're there, the dream, can I tell you my dream? Yeah. My dream is to live, well, my really unattainable, and I'm not a person that doesn't, I like to manifest shit, but this is unattainable. It's basically to live in the hampton style, like right on the beach.

You know, nobody between me and the sand. That's not going to happen yet, unless you all buy the book. Great, thanks. But actually, just a lovely house in the country. Don't need it to be too big. I'd like enough land where we could build lovely little cabins where we can rent those out to creatives, like artists, writers, singers who want to come and just like make shit.

Yeah. Also, though, when my kids come back from school and university, they can have their mates there and stuff. I want to have chickens. I know it's a cliche, but I've already got their names. I want to call them Feather Flocklear, Agatha Christie, Salmonella, Yoko Ono, and Ingrid Birdman. I'd quite like to have a couple of donkeys. You can't have one. I've looked into this, like guinea pigs.

You've got to have two. They don't like to be on their own. I know I'm going to call one ears, but I don't know about the other. Please submit any suggestions. I can't wait. And I feel like I could just live barefoot and not see any people. I don't like people. Like I either love them and I can, I felt like half an hour at a time.

I fucking love being with people. And then beyond that, I don't want to see anybody. Yeah. Write books. Yeah. Rear chickens. Yeah. Rescue greyhounds.

I love you. Listen, we need to talk about this because you know the only reason that we bought our dog was because of Billy. No. So we had to get a dog. Well, I said, Billy was phobic of dogs, really phobic. Like, she'd go into the park and she'd have a panic attack, we'd have to leave. Right. And at one point, I literally remember one day, we were walking along the street.

There was a dog coming up and she ran out into the road. And I was like, we have to tackle this. We've got to get a puppy. And Jimmy was like, absolutely not, we're not getting a puppy. And I did look at rescuing. But a lot of them don't let you rescue if you've got young kids. Yeah. We had a cat at the time.

Yeah. And also, I was conscious that I didn't want a dog. I needed, like, clean slate dog. Yeah. And I needed it to be small because of this fit. So the miniature dashund was a perfect choice. It was small puppy. It was perfect.

And now she's great with dogs. That's the only reason. From now on, I will always rescue dogs just so that you know. Anyway, I'd like to rescue greyhounds. That's where I want to be. You know, dying in a house surrounded by greyhounds. Yeah. And my family if they want to.

They'll eat me, won't they, if the greyhounds, if I'm there dead. They do, they eat you. If they're old, they might not have the teeth for it. I can imagine being quite cheery and sinewy by that point. Very. Well, there'll be nothing left of you. I'll be too thin. But then again, you'll just be bones.

So then you're probably right. Yeah, they love it to chew and bone. I did say to Jimmy the other day, if I die before noodle, which would be rough. But if I did, I was like, you have to show noodle my dead body. Why? Because I don't want her to, she'll understand that I'm dead. But I don't want her to think that I just left her. Oh, my God, cat.

I was like, you have to show her my dead body, so she knows I'm gone. That's a sweet. thing. I know I couldn't bear the thought of her thinking that I'd just like fucked off. I couldn't bear it. Jimmy was like, do I do it for the kids as well? Like probably not. Have you ever tried to pretend to be dead in front of your dog? Yeah, she does not give a shit. No, neither does mine. Couldn't care less. There's nothing. Nothing at all. I've tried crying. Couldn't care less. She doesn't give a shit. Anyway, so I don't know. Do we leave? What happens if we hate it? You can't come back to

London because the expense and like I just don't know what to do and also small towns I want a villagey life everybody knows your business do I want that I mean everybody knows my business anyway to be fair but do I really want that also lots of people I know live in small villages like actually drugs with kids is really rife in small villages and stuff they don't really have anything else to do so I don't know what to do and I need some out What do you think? Well, you know what I think. I know what you think.

I mean, however, so when I was working at heart, when I was doing the radio at the breakfast, obviously I was travelling to the studio in Milton Keynes. And at that point, we were looking at going to kind of somewhere near the Cotswolds because we love, always just love the Cotswolds. Obviously, didn't have the budget to, like, in the similar situation. You're not David Cameron, aren't you? I think, thank God.

Or Kate Moss. But I was like, okay, so this is lovely. We're looking around Oxford, that kind of way. we started a lot of house hunting and when the job like wasn't anymore we um I said look why are we why are we looking here when we've got Sussex we've got the coast and the downs there so you've got you know green and you've got the blue how far away from the beach are you so 20 minutes I can be at the beach it's not bad is that a nice one you know 40 minutes I'm in the june's of westwittering you know so which I know you love don't you it's my favourite yeah yeah but you can get

some really lovely beach houses as well down in ferring as well westwittering beach houses There was one for sale the last time we were down there. Not as much as you'd think. Right, okay. Large enough for the fam. Oh, four, five bedrooms, fully refurb. Yeah. 1.2.

Okay. But like, I know that's a lot of money, don't get me wrong. It's a shitload of money. No, but it's on the beach. Right. Like it's Hamptons-esque. Do you know what I mean? There's like Garden Gate, open, Little Footpath Beach.

Wow. So, you know, and also that, the great thing is, I'd love to live by the sea, but I do not want to live in a seaside town. No. I don't want to do that. But it's not like that down. And when you're, but when you're in the Witterings, if you're on the beach doesn't fucking matter, everybody's behind you.

Yeah, but to be fair, you don't want to be down in the summer because everybody flocks to it. So you've got to re-evaluate that. The thing is that when... Also, I don't have 1.2 million. Exactly. But yet. Yet.

Yet. By the book. Thank you, Emma. So welcome. I mean, no, thank you. I don't know what I'm doing. I just have a bit more coffee. So listen, the thing is, if we'd have gone to the Cotswolds,

I don't think it would have been as softer landing as it was where we are now because we've actually got a network of people that are within, you know, like 15, 20, that we knew that we used to visit down there. So you already knew them there already. So there was a few... So you moved to a place where people had already gone. So weekends, we used to go down and visit people there. You know, the Cotswolds we went because we just loved the Cotswolds.

So although we preferred that place in the world, having that little network meant, you know, I didn't really... Although now I've got an amazing group of friends that I've made. who are from that neck of the woods and we've come together and I've got for the first time my life you know a female group of friends which I've never had that's not toxic it's not toxic it's just never had a fucking unicorns and you know whether it was boarding school and a board or being a gun yeah sorry my I promise I said I try and say that a lot less on this this season to who to Johnny and to my mom well your mom only watches the fucking YouTube cut the social cutdowns

yeah and thinks that's the podcast We'll leave it at that. And Johnny, yeah, I mean, I don't care. Who gives a shit? Fuck Johnny. But I said I try, at least. Poor Johnny. No, not poor Johnny. No, not poor Johnny.

Never poor Johnny. Never poor Johnny. So anyway. Do you know what? That's what they say on Tattle all the time. Well, they can't anymore. Poor Jimmy. Where are they going to go to slag us off? I know. Well, this is a problem. I really fucking liked Tattel. Why? I was delighted because it kept them off the fucking streets. came there off the streets before Tattle

they were all in your fucking inbox and your DMs and your comments getting all keyboard warrior in now they take it over there it's great I haven't looked at it for three or four years

Oh no I prefer it in the DM Say it to my face Say it to my inbox No the things they say though It's not just like I disagree with that Or you know whatever It's not even a little bit aggy

It's like no I don't want Tustle to shut down Please Keep them there I cannot believe you just said that I don't. I don't want to shut down. I don't look at it. But I just keep them over there.

Because they'll be all over back in the DMs. Well, they don't like seeing it. Because they're lurking, they're still watching. That's the weird thing, isn't it? Occasionally I go through all my followers and I delete, and I block anybody who's not got a profile picture, hasn't posted anything, doesn't have any followers, but follows like 700 people.

I get rid of all of those people. How do you find that? How do you work? Go to your follower list? What, you just scroll through, like 300,000. followers. Well, obviously I don't do it is, it got to 300,000 yesterday. Yeah, well done, baby.

Well done. I just do every now and again, I just do a quick scroll through and block those people because I think they're not here for good reasons. No. No reason. I can probably do that. I have a lot less, more than I did before, but. A lot more. A lot more. Well done, Bali. When I start showing my face on there, there won't be. But yeah, it was a soft landing.

And I think that that is quite important at this stage in our lives. I know a lot of people that move to the country and they were just like, I wanted to come back and people that couldn't come back so I've got like this weekend just gone I know some people who've got one of the most successful restaurants in our area they moved down and funny enough they were from around Notting Hill where we used to be and had a really successful pub there ended up moving around the corner from us opening his restaurant it's been on

the ground where we are so yeah somewhere like that's always busy and this weekend they were just like we just got to make this place work and I was like what this what do you mean this isn't working. They were supposed to be moving back to London and, you know, because she works for a big designer and the commute was a bit much for her and she was like, can't do it, we cannot afford to move back to London. That's my worry. And also, the fact is, because Jimmy and I don't have proper jobs and we're both self-employed, I'm pretty sure that our pension is not going to pension, like what pension, right? So I look at the house we've got in London now as like, our pension, we need to get more money out of it than we've currently got because

house price has been pretty stagnant. So we need to get a bit more money out of it. So we can't do it for two years. But it is, it's all of these things. It's just, there's too much for me to think about. It's too much for me like, where do we go, first of all? Like, Jimmy wants to go to Hartford because his friend George lives there. Actually, Anna White House has now moved out to Hertfordshire. So that might be a good move. But I also need to move closer. Like, there's no point of me moving if I'm, unless I'm going closer to my parents. But then I'm like, should I decide based on them, you know.

I mean, you could just come to Sussex, I'm there. I could come to Sussex. I'm just saying, and you've got the coast and you've got the downs. And I think anywhere where your position between the coast and the downs feeds all this kind of like this. Do you know what I mean? It's just like this inherently in humans, just like to not have a for me personally, and I know so many people, to not have a horizon is one.

really bad for my mental health. So when you bear in mind, when you... That might just be the most middle-class thing I've ever been. It's not. It's not at all. Think about how, what that does for your psyche. So every time you look in front of you, it's... Brick-wall. It's blocks. You can't see it. How good to... How many people when there's a sunrise or something... That's why I love to see. When you can see the sun setting in London,

behind buildings. What that... We all flock to the high points, don't we? Yeah. Everyone goes to take a picture. It always looks terrible. But the point is, but it feels like you wanted, you know, and imagine that that every time you drive home. You're looking at that, you're looking at wildlife, hugged through the converted, I'm done, Jimmy wants, funnily enough, Ben, produce the Ben, Jimmy wants to, we've got a friend Adam, his drummer,

he lives in Red Hill, he wants us to come down here and have a look here. Because that's still quite close to you, yeah, also the trains. Do you know what? Go on, 35 minutes into Victoria, 22 quid return. There you go. Can't argue. with that, can you? There you go. Anyway, let's play. Can I just sorry, just very quickly. Can I just also say you're in a really fortunate situation because you and Jimmy both are

self-employed and your jobs mean that you can be remote anywhere. Totally. You do need to remind Jimmy of that though. It's ridiculous that you are still in London and your children are breathing that air and I just think you need to get them out and noodle is breathing that air and I know that might be even more important to you. Noodle's breathing that air. Tiny little lungs. Stop it. I can't.

Please make sure she sees my dead body. Right. Let's do a voice note. I was born in Woolwich and grew up in South East London and I commuted into London every day for a good long while and did the whole. nightlife thing there and then moved to Somerset. I've married down here and raised my kids here. I'm 43 now. No chickens yet. Yeah, I do miss city life when I pop up to London. It is a trek

regardless of whether you go on the train. It's really expensive on the train and it's hours in the car. Yeah, so I do miss the theatre. I miss all of that kind of thing. We're about an hour away from two cities. It's quite a long way that, isn't it? Yeah. So I do love it. I love not being in the city all the time. I love the country air. I love that everyone smiles at you. People ask you how you are. And I don't feel like anyone's in our business necessarily. You can be quite good with boundaries. Emma can't take you to get to 43 to learn that. But yeah, I love living in the country.

But you've got to stop encouraging people to do it. Otherwise, then we'll just move out of the city and then the country will be full. People hate it, don't they? I remember my friend moved to Margate and she said it's all the DFLs. Yeah, down from London. Down from London. It's what the Brightons call them as well, DFL.

Oh God, I don't know if I want to be that DFL. Can I just say, right, so there's moving to the country and there's moving to the country. So it sounds like she's quite remote. So I am 20 minutes from Horsham, It just got kind of all your basic shops. It means the kids, I feel like it's safe enough that Molly at nearly 13

can go there with a mate, walk around, it's pedestrian, that kind of thing. Got it. I want to go wider. Then I've got like 40 minutes I can get to either Guildford one way. Again, lovely, a bit expensive. And then the other way, I've got Brighton 40 minutes as well,

which is huge. It's like a London. It's not a long way, isn't it? Mind you, I grew up living 20 minutes away from the nearest point of milk. Right, so exactly. So what do you want from it? That's the thing. It's not me.

I would have to live in a fucking homestead and never see anybody ever again. It's Jimmy. I've got to be able to convince Jimmy. I think having just done this train journey, I suspect it's going to be around here. Amazing. We'll see. But can I just say that there's a difference between that and living really rural. And so like, you know, do you know how I do?

You want to be the most middle class thing ever? Guess how I did my searching? By how far waitros or Ricardo delivered your food? how closest to the nearest waitrose exactly that how close is your nearest waitress about 10 minutes down the road there's a little village

there's nothing else there's a tiny boots and there's a waitrose this is going really off topic how are we doing for time fine Jimmy does yeah the magic bread run

now have you ever heard of the magic bread run you said about this the magic bread run is my I've not talked about it on the podcast I thought you have but go again anyway well it's worth repeating Jimmy discovered he does not

let me shop at wait I think it's ridiculous. I mean, it is ridiculously expensive. He's like an Aldi guy. I'm somewhere in the middle, ASDA, whatever. Anyway, but the waitrose is so close to us. I can walk to it. He's discovered that if you go in between 6.30 and 7 in the evening, they knock down all the Gales bread, all the wild farmed bread, all the fresh baked bread from like five quid to like 49p. Oh, that's amazing. So he comes back every now and again, goes to He goes, I'm off to do the magic bread one. He comes back with a waitress.

Of course he doesn't come back with a waitress bag because he never gets the bag because he's Jimmy. And he's like, six pounds. And he pulls out like sourdough loaves, little baguettes. Bags it in the freezer. All in the freezer. All in the freezer.

I mean, so much bread. Anyway, I did the magic bread one for the first time the other day. Yeah. It's really fun, but it's a bit fucking scrappy. We're not the only one. Oh, really? We're not the only ones. Really?

I don't get a bit elbowy. Does it? A bit elbowy. Man, I was like almost ripping a sourdough loaf out of somebody's hands. It's like the fucking hunger games. I can see it. Honestly. I can see it.

But do you know the thing is I don't actually shop in wage rows. Like I did it based on the fact that so that is Johnny World. You thought that's the class of people that I want. That's the kind of area I want to live in. I know if I'm near there, it's going to be okay. If I'm, everything feels like it's going to be okay. Yeah, but look, it doesn't work in my house. drive another 20 minutes to go to the big Tesco's, you know, but...

But you don't actually get it delivered then? I'm trying to do that more because I'm trying to be, since I've worked with you, I'm trying to be more efficient with my time. I did it. That was my New Year's resolution. It lasted for three weeks, but I'm working on it. But Johnny, oh, he loves going... If I say, we need this, we need that, he has no problem going in there and spunky money.

And actually, I'm not going to tell you what he said, because it's just going to... Come on. We need something for social cutdowns. I said... So I said, Tim, why, I said, we can't afford to be shopping. in wait shows he went no you can't afford to be shopping but that's because he looks after the big ticket items he looks after the big ticket items cat you're right yeah okay just remind of johnny how much cat loves you fill up i put it in the book you did not put it in the book it's in the book it's in the

book i didn't mention johnny by name oh i wonder if people are put two and two together once they see this book but i do remember i did put big ticket items in the book how could i know oh it's good i'm glad he gave you something yeah you know every cloud yeah and all the india chat and the how to Did that go in the book too? No. Oh, he'll be so disappointed. Next book. Right, here we go.

Next voice note. We're also about... Oh, I think it's the same girl. From the beach. Yeah, all right. Do you know what? Like, rub it in. You live in the best place in the world.

Well done. Right, let's do this one. Hi, my name's Tracy. And I currently live in London in Twickenham. But I am coming on it from a different take. I grew up as a teenager in the... countryside and i can tell you it was fucking boring the buses came every two hours and the last bus bus home from town was 6 p.m or 7 p.m something ridiculous sounds great so then i had to rely on my

parents to pick me up not great i wanted to see my mates later than that and that has pretty much scarred me for going back to the countryside i look back now and my kids grow up and in London and they're in a London school and I often think God they just love the outdoors and we try and do the my son went to forest school in London as much as you can pretty much like a yard behind a building and they called it forest school but he loved it and so I get a bit of mum guilt in the sense that maybe he should maybe I'm stopping him from growing up in what I grew up in and then didn't realize what I had, you know, I used to play out in the fields.

I used to make tree houses. We used to go and play in the brook. But as, and up until a certain age, that was great because you didn't really, I don't think you really understand what you're missing. But then as a teenager, it is literally hell. I'm going to end it there. She's, do you know what?

I do get that. As a mum, I'm like, great. Yeah. Brilliant. Kids are not going to get into any trouble. I grew up. No, no, no. No, no, no.

That's bullshit. I grew up in the Yorkshire Dales. So they've got left to do so that you actually get into more trouble. I don't know. I grew up in the Yorkshire Dales, tiny, tiny village, 100 people, no shop, two pubs. And we had, like a house that my grandfather had built. It looked like a Canadian ski lodge. It was beautiful.

I mean, it was falling to pieces, but it was beautiful. And we used to play in the river. I could, I'd go out. There was this big, like, bell on the front door, like a ringy, ringy, dingling bell. dingling and I could hear it from fucking two miles away I'd know that I had to come back

and fortunately there was one boy in the village who was my age who was so fit so fit and we ended up going out together after I'd got blackout drunk

at 13 at a friend's 21st and my sister's friend drove me home in an open top Morris Minor while I shouted at the top of my lungs I want to shag insert name senseless and she drove me up and down past the pub.

At 13? Listen, I'm an alcoholic. This is why haven't. No, he wasn't the drinking. It was the fact you were talking about one of shacks. Wasn't the drink. No, I was all I want to shag him senseless. I mean, that's what I was saying. Molly wouldn't even know what that meant. I know, but it was the 90s.

But then she drove me up and down past the pub where he lived outside his bedroom window. Were you shouting then? Also, the pub where I was working that summer. So I had to go to work the next day, hungover. Sorry, you were working at a pub at third. To be fair, I wasn't pulling pints. I only pulled pints on a Tuesday night when we didn't...

Waitress, pot washer. I only pulled pints on a Tuesday night when they didn't serve food and nobody was really in there except the local policeman who turned up had two pints and drove off in this panda car. So is it any wonder I ended up the way that I did? Absolutely not. Anyway, we ended up going out together for four years.

It's like, you know, but... I do think you have to accept. There is an acceptance when you move out. First of all, A, you know, you're going to, you can't just pop to the local shop to get some milk if you want it. You have to be more prepared. That was one of my things I was most worried about because I'm such a last minute, Charlie. You have to accept that, like for Johnny, he goes in, like he has this morning, has to leave at 5am to go into London. He gets all his shit done, his site visits, and then he comes back.

It is going to take him in. It's going to take him. It's going to take, he wants to drive rather than take the train. I totally, listen after my experience this morning, I get it. Right, exactly, which is great. But, you know, that is an hour and a half. and it's knackering, it's like, you know, tiring, driving if you don't love it.

But the thing was always this. What are you coming back to? Yeah, that's it. You know what was the moment for me when I knew we've got to do this? When we used to drive and we'd come out, we'd hit like dorking or like coming out of London or when we were going to the Cotswood, we hit a certain point.

I watched his shoulders dropped about an inch, you know, each time. And I'm like, that is worth cutting, you know, and you do, you streamline, you find, if you can, if you can find a way to make it work, I think that it's worth it and I genuinely think you know talking about funny enough that lady there

our kids probably went because we lived near Twickenland before kids probably went to the same forest school it was just the thing in the backyard but yeah I was the same playing fast and loose with the word forest yeah exactly and paddling you know she was talking about paddling

in the brook I'm boy you know the kids used to want to go and do that in the summer and like I'd be like watch out for the glass bottle the syringe all this shit like where we are it's like the clean the rivers are clean And it's just, you know, to see rubbish on your street is so rare. And actually, for me, all of that is worth, I've had my time.

I've partied. You've party, cat. Like, if we've got to pick up our kids in the early hours of the morning, then fuck it, I'll live vicariously through them and I'll love it. And I will, do you know what I'll drive them and I want to go? I can see. This is a thing. I'm very happy to be the taxi.

Right. Really happy to be the taxi. But I really, listen, I've decided I really don't even want to go home. So, Ben, I'm just going to stay here. But this is nice. Look, you can't see what's behind here. but there's like a little kitchen, there's a little room back there.

I'd be very happy here. Yeah. So you are adopting me. Did you get any emails about this? I don't think we did actually today. I think it was just voice notes. Was it? Yeah.

Oh, I love voice notes so much. I love a voice note. Thank you so much everyone at the set days in. Really appreciate it. As always, if you want to have your say or share any of your stories or experiences or if you have any words of wisdom for cat on moving or not moving, I think we...

I need all the wisdom I can get. Wow. Also, if there's anybody out there, do you know what else would be really helpful? Yeah. You know, you know, in America, America do a couple of things really well. One of them is buying a house. Yeah.

So fucking easy. Yeah. You can do it in 14 days. Kind of. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense why it takes 14 fucking years to buy a house here. But what I would really like is they have these like estate agents that's your real estate agent. Yeah.

So whenever you move, they like, they find you the house. They know you, they know what you want, all the rest of it. It's a little relationship. We don't have that. Our state agents here are just, like, I'm really sorry if you're an estate agent. I'm sure you're a lovely one, but most of them are not. They're weird little men who drive cars that are weird and they wear funny, pointy shoes. It's just, I just, no.

I'm looking for like somebody who's not an idiot. Yeah. Who can help me do the work. Like, I can go, this is sort of what I want. This is where I want to be. At a cost, you can get them. They have them here. You can get like a real estate.

so you can have someone that's a real estate agent that can work with me to find a house that would be great because also getting Jimmy out the fucking house to go to Red Hill or wherever to look at houses. Do you know what else you can do as well which my friend did? So you can do a house swap so someone who wants to move back to London.

No, nobody wants to live in my fucking house. You don't know. Oh, they don't know, but it could be a step in the same thing. We had an ant problem last week. Oh, God, no. Oh, because they're fucking kids leave the dishwasher open. The dishwasher's right by the back door. You still get ants.

I had an entire ant hill in my country answer. a little bit more elevated. Urban ants. They shop at waitrose. Yeah, urban ants. Anyway, if you are a real estate agent, if you have a house for Kat to move into, or indeed if you are an ant exterminator,

can you please get in touch. You can email us at You're Never the Only One at gmail.com, or you can send us a message, or you can send us a voice note. We love the voice notes, but no longer than 90 seconds, if possible, because Cat is savage and won't let you finish. I cut you off.

07-457-402-704 put it in your phone save it save it as you're never the only one and when something pops into your head if you want if it's random as hell we don't care we just want to share this is what the podcast's all about it doesn't even have to be about the topic it doesn't if something really funny has happened to you yeah like when I went to the gym the other day and I did really big workout was also really hot so I sweated a lot I don't think it was work out as much as the heat but anyway I went had a sauna afterwards showered you know when you do the whole like yeah and then I realized they're not wear any clean clothes to put on. I'd only have got my wet sweaty leggings. I was out, I'm not putting those on. I had brought a towel. So I went home in my towel, wrapped around my waist. I saw.

No pants, because I didn't bring any clean pants. Obviously my towel dropped off in the car park when I was trying to put my back in the car. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. Nobody saw it. No one saw the spotty bossy. It is not spotty anymore.

Thanks to SBC skin care. They're glycolic acid body stuff. I don't know what it is. It's fucking witchery. It's not spotty anymore. Also, a little bit of sun in south of France. And we know who the sponsor for this podcast is going to be. SBC Skinket. Actually, I know the PR.

We should call them. Defo. And also, you can DM us on Instagram if you want at You're Never the Only One. Honestly, anything you want because it could inspire. Yes, that's what I was saying. Funny stories. It could inspire us for our topics next season. Who knows?

And with that, we are done for this week. We'll be back next week where Emma will be in the topical driving seat. What are you chatting about next week, Emma? With social media kink. I don't really know what this means, but I'm excited to dive into it. well it started because you know I found myself in like kind of in that weird kind of goblin mode at night

you know where you're like I've been in a weird goblin mode at night but not for a long time when you're looking at your phone looking at like weird shit like the muck band stuff I was talking about people like this is like this season's dingling

speaking of goblin anyway right so let's leave it at that shall we yeah I think we should bye guys You're never the only one is written and presented by Kat Sims and Emma Nicolay and produced by Radiant Management. Executive producers are Katie Ray and Paramee Kodikara. Podcast operations are managed by Shell Rigini,

who also expertly takes care of the podcast social media. And our theme tune, Everybody Makes Mistakes, is written and performed by the band Hot Salad. one else each and every day When I feel like nothing left for you to spend on you You're allowed to be happy to The never the only one. Don't live inside your shame because everybody makes mistakes.

Oh. You're never the only one. You're never the only one. You're never the only one. Don't live inside your shame because everybody makes mistakes. makes mistakes, oh. Oh.