You're Never The Only One - Vasectomies + Sex Cycles...You're Never The Only One

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

In the penultimate episode of Season 2, Cat and Emma get into the complicated issues surrounding vasectomies and why men are so reluctant to get them. Emma also discusses the Affection vs Sex vicious cycle and what it's like when you get jizz in your eye. As ever we love to hear from YOU - our amazing listeners. If you've got any stories about vasectomies, or if the men in your life are willing to share their thoughts about 'the snip' then we'd love to hear from you. Email: [e-mail] Voicenote/DM: 07457 402704 Next week, to celebrate the end of the season Cat and Emma will be doing a whole episode dedicated to the 'we listen and we don't judge' trend. If you haven't already seen the reel they did together then watch it here. Please support You're Never the Only One by leaving us a 5* review and telling all your mates about it. Follow You’re Never The Only One on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠TikTok⁠. Credits You’re Never The Only One is created by Cat Sims. It is written and presented by Cat Sims and Emma Nicolet. Producers are Hannah Twigg & Anna Dixon at YMU London and Katie Ray at Radient Management. The podcast is recorded at Outset Studios in London and edited by the team at YMU. Theme music is written and performed especially for You’re Never The Only One by Hot Salad.

Where is she? Let's see. She's now 20 minutes late. Hello. Hi. Where are you? Yes. I'm at Hoxton. So you're not even in the building yet? No. I'm going to be honest. We're recording.

Okay. I'm in a lift with people. You're in a lift with people? I'm coming now. Hold on. Okay. Don't humiliate me. I was about to say I don't need to do that

you can do that all by yourself I'm going to be barriers now I need to go okay bye everybody you're never the only one you're never the only one don't live inside your strength

because everybody makes mistakes You're right there, Goose. I feel the need. The need for speed. I know, I'm feeling it. You can be my wingman any day. Oh, well, that's what I was thinking.

I was thinking wingman vibe. You're supposed to say bullshit. You can be mine. Top Gun is my favorite. I think it's my favourite film of all times. Oh, God, I love Top Gun. I watched it when I was about nine for the first time, and I don't think I've ever fully recovered from Goose dying.

Nine. Wow. Sobbed. The only films I've ever really sobbed at are Top Gun. with Mickey Rourke. Yeah. Great film. Avengers Endgame. Right, come on.

Let's stop fucking around. Not even a never-ending story. Sorry. You should have a tear for never-ending story. Ah, true! Okay. I'm just singing in the national... It's so weird.

So did you hear me under my breath? It's you because you put it... Because of the... It's just going... Hang on a minute. So we've gone from Top Gun. Is this the way your brain went? Top Gun, Armed Forces, Patriotism, National Anthem of America.

I didn't even realize I did that, but that's the beauty of the brain. The beauty of the brain. Yeah, where it goes. It is. All right, let's go. Hello and welcome to episode 11, penultimate episode. Only two more left, people, and this is one of them. Of you're never the only one.

Are you excited? I am excited. Do you know, I'm so sad to be saying goodbye to the podcast that I've sort of been thinking, maybe we just don't end it and we just keep going. No, you haven't. Yeah, now that somebody else is editing, I have. Anyway, listen, I am joined as ever by my, with my gorgeous friend, Emma.

I love you so much, even though I now know that you pick your nose and eat it, sniffy knickers and like it and do meaty farts in public. Do you know what? I could have gone further. There was more, and I'm actually now looking back at the edge. I feel like we should do a part two. Yeah, let's do a part two. There's a part two.

It's funny you should speak of that, actually. If you've missed it, that was Kat Sims, who recently confessed that on the same post, that she, when choosing the thumbnails for our socials, you know, the little pictures, she likes to choose the ones where I look shit. She admitted that. Occasionally.

But I'll be honest, Kat, I would rather look shit in a thumbnail-sized picture than have a face that resembles a thumb in every picture of it taken. So, yeah. 2021 called they asked where you want them to send your jawline so I said to them

maybe the cafe and David Lloyd because I know that's probably where they can find you all right goose still love me listen I'm also joined by by goose you're done that was mean

it's chunky knees last week and listen my jawline is my weakest I'm going to have a little cry but Sorry, Kat. I'm sorry. Listen, it's the final countdown. This is the penultimate episode.

So if you don't know by now, we kick off each episode with a little guided tour through our very own to-do lists in all their glory or not. Yeah. As the case may be, it's just a little chance to prove that even though we look a little like

we've got a shit together for this hour and a half every week, the rest of the time, we are drowning in our own mental load, headless chickens, all the rest of it. So, apart from tilling the land and firing

and flying fighter jets. We can do it. What have you been doing this week? I knew the minute I put on this. Can I just say... Too many jokes, not enough time, to be honest. Okay, I had to pack a suitcase. I didn't have time to think.

And my friend had said to me, I got this like jumpsuit from free people. And what she does is she gets things off vintage. Hang on, stop. Yes, I'm wearing DMs. No, no, it's not the DMs. Are you about the cuffs? Aren't they great? Well, hang on, you've got trousers on.

Yeah, do you not have these? Oh, they're amazing. I've got them in gold. gold, silver and black, and you can use them on your arms to keep them. Well, yeah, that's where I would normally see them, but why are they on your trousers? Because I would stop leeches climbing up. Well, I'm thinking later I put some heels on with this and go out for dinner. Oh, are you staying at my house or not?

No, clearly not. Oh, thank God. Only in the nicest possible where a house is a shit heat. I know, and I know because you've been decorating that you wouldn't even have time to think about clean sheets. No, and Billy was like, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. And I've worked out. It's actually close to the studio, so it works out better for me. Perfect. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. So talking about having our shit together.

This is how un-having my shit together I have today. The shit is very much untogether. I've printed off my script, and it's got a thing over the top of it saying, edit with the documents. So it's basically covering everything that I've printed off. So I'm going to half use my script and I'm going to half use my phone where it's written as well.

You want to know what I've been up to? Not really, but go on. Okay, well, they might. Lots of stuff at home. January's got that kind of fresh stuff. vibe to it get shit done you know tie up loose ends yes you know it's like a September new term thing vibe I get the same thing I love January yeah you know when you like kind of look around the house and I'm like carpets are filthy the carpet I need to get the carpet cleaner out get the carpet

but then that means moving all the furniture and then you're like well let's just remodel the whole lounge yes so there's been that buying like oh we need you know we've always meant to put a mirror there but we've just kind of settled in and just lived with it and it's been okay and we felt so lucky what we've got. And I'm like, no, we need any... So it's all this kind of thing. Miris, furniture, painting, moving TV brackets, all that shit, you know? I think we're living the same life.

Well, there you go. So that's why I understood where you were at. And I thought she doesn't want me staying at house to know. I don't. And setting up a workspace for me. Yay! I'm going to start taking myself seriously this year. Yes, can you?

The only one that does. I'm joking. I'm sorry. Do you know what? Sorry, do you know what? I'm sorry. If I'm a little bit honest, I'm probably feeling a little bit bruised for your roast about about my jawline.

So that's where that's coming from. At least we're over the fat knees. No, no, no, we're not. We're not. Okay. Now I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at my knees in the mirror this week. I'm so sorry.

So I have been setting up my workspace because I'm like, right, I haven't given up on Instagram. I wouldn't do that to you, okay? Too good for Instagram. I wouldn't do that to you. But I do need a space where I can properly film because every time I go to like think, oh, I need to film this.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to make my bed. I'm going to clear up my cup behind and all that shit. So I was like, right, so I've set up a little space. on a landing and I've launched my travel business as you know yeah stop taking I'm not laughing at that I'm just you won't be laughing when I'm in the Maldives for 80 pound a night all inclusive two children under 13 free that's all I'm saying okay but anyway I launched it on the 13th and congratulations and it's a lucky number for me 13 because that's when both of my children were born on the 30 so give yourself a plug do you basically

are you literally no I'm not going to muddy the waters I don't need to do that if you want to know more come see me that's exciting so yeah that is really exciting so anyway I've done that on the 13th so I thought why the hell not bring something else into the world and just wing it like to have my children got it um and then my sister speaking of bringing things into the world I've got new nephew oh and you can't share the name can't share the name but all I can tell you is it's very cool can you do a quick whisper no oh you can't tell anybody can't tell anyone so not just a not podcast I've got in a lot of trouble when Wally was born her first child so this one when do we Get, when is the...

I don't know, I don't know. Okay, who is allowed to know? Well, I wasn't even meant to know, but Wally, her two-year-old, I just went to him, what's the baby called? Oh, do we even know whether it's a boy or a girl? It's a boy, it's boy. What is that's boy, okay. And he just straight out told me, and she was like... Interesting.

Why doesn't she want anybody to know the name? Because she... I'm not judging, we just know, we don't judge. Because she hasn't announced it yet, and if, God forbid, this came out before she announced it, I would be in so much shit. Who's she announcing it to? The world. Oh. It's all done on social media these days, isn't it?

That's what people do. Yeah, okay. I mean, I'm assuming that's what she's worried about. I'm sure she's told like her mother-in-law. I'm sure the husband definitely, yeah, he definitely know. Does the baby know its name? Well, does any baby know its name? Well, that's a good question.

They're in America. They're so far away. I'm so sad. Can't say the name yet, but it's very cool. Okay. Very, very cool. And I came on my period early the night that she was giving birth. And I kept thinking, I feel like the baby's coming.

Sympathy pain. And I think in sympathy, I came out, I came on. I came out. I came out. I am a fighter pilot. You always fucking overshadowing me. Why did you have to do it on the day I had a baby? No, I am definitely, definitely still in the closet.

So yes, I came on early. And that obviously, as always, was followed by a cluster fuck of a day. It was just like one thing off. Like it was the perfect day if you wanted to trip over like a flat surface and literally drop or like kind of spill everything you touched. And I just-humans are wild, aren't they? Well, right?

I was like, I thought it was just me. I put this on my stories. Do you want to hear the message I got? Yeah. I got this. Oh my God, yes, I totally get this. Drop the kids dinner on Monday out of the oven all over the floor, ruined it, burnt myself.

I often walk into things. I drop things. Like they just fall out. This is what happened to me. It's just like they fall out my hand. Like I just took something at the fridge. And I was like really confident with it. It just was suddenly smashed on the floor.

The dog licking. I was like, oh my God. She said to me, Defoe stay home. Rachel, I couldn't. I had to go to the gym. And then it was just more of a class. Oh, God, the gym. How's the gym going?

I mean... How's Alan? I did go in and look for Alan. Yeah, but you did. Did you say, by the way, just so you know, you're on the podcast. When I find him, I'm sure he'll be really happy. He did come across okay, though, didn't. We weren't, we weren't, we weren't me.

I didn't come up with me. No, no. No, we were just taking the piss out with you. Yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah. How's your back? It's actually a bit better. Good.

Yeah. I did Arm Day this week. Well, that was a new one. Yeah. But Lynn keeps, you know, Lynn who does. No, who's in? Lynn puts everything into the, oh, sorry. Lynn puts everything into the program on my mobile.

And Lynn keeps putting it in wrong. So she keeps putting in like too heavy a way. How's been your personal trainer? Well, I mean, I wouldn't really call it a personal trainer. It's not an induction. Oh, right. Do you what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

She gave you like a start. Yeah, it's great. There's like an app and everything. So I like, you know. What's your gym? Oh, it's a local. It's a local one. But it's, I'm such a newbie. And you know when you, you know, you're that newbie because I'm standing there looking at your phone going, what do I do and how does this go on? Yeah. I want to get to that point where I just walk in. I can know what I'm doing. So, so I'm, I love the gym.

Yeah. But I've been, but I've been going to the gym for years and years and years. Jimmy. Really? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Shut. Jimmy doesn't use the gym he's a runner but he wanted to get into the gym so I was like why don't we go together he was a bit nervous because I think if you've never been to the gym it is quite intimidating you don't know how to use the machines

or whatever I said look I'll go with you I'll show you how to do it we can figure out a workout plan it's fine yeah it did not go well at all it was so couples at gym together don't stay together no they do not stay together Jimmy did not like being told what to do he especially didn't well but he especially didn't

like it in an environment where he already felt kind of out of shape. So he didn't like the idea that people were looking at me teaching him how to. It was a, he was a cunt from beginning to end. Like from the, and I knew from the moment we were walking up the stairs to the gym, I could feel that it wasn't going to go well and it didn't go well and was still recovering. And it will never happen again. No, never. And I was really like, I will. You know on a guest pass? One of your guest pass? No, he's a member. And I was there and I was a member. Yeah. So he just goes and runs on running machine well no he runs outside he's a member because i you get it for free don't you i forgot we get family membership you got that's one of your like i'm a big instagram of perks isn't it

why you have to always talk about them on your stories yeah david would great free child care loads of classes great workspace lovely cafe great food oh we know um so going back to the periods yeah sorry is this something that you yeah yeah clumsiness you get the clumsiness yeah somebody said yes Hell said, I'm like a toddler that's just learned to walk and exploring fine motor skills. Yeah, it's like that. Oh, what are these? Followers are so funny. Somebody said, wait until you hit menopause.

That means it's going to get worse. Well, so listen, menopause is just one day. Hmm? Yeah. Menopause is just one day. That's the day when your period stops forever. Right. Everything else is perimenopause.

So you're there. This is menopause. Right. Do you get it? Yeah. I like the fact that she does. I don't think I'm there yet. I'm going to take that from it. She obviously doesn't listen to the podcast though. Joe, who definitely listens to podcast, said 100% get this. I've warned Annie about it. Her daughter. She said yesterday I started to drive off before I was fully out the car at the school gates into another car. I came home upset because and then I had to scream and I tripped over the dog who I shouted at and then I felt dreadful because she was just pleased to see me. So I'd almost run over my own child, caused an RTA and abused the dog all before 9 a.m. never happens when I'm not on my period.

No, never. That's what she says. Oh my God. And this is the one that really hit me. Driving becomes very questionable. So many people I've said this that they're driving. And they get an anxiety around driving specifically as well. Yeah. I become a really bad driver as well.

I really, really do. So yeah, thank you very much for everybody that responded to my cry for help on there. And as always, this is what it's about, isn't it? You're never the only one. So I really enjoyed all of those. Thank you so much. What about you, well as you mentioned earlier I've been decorating my living room

I had the most wonderful Emily Brooks if you don't know she's like a colour it sounds so boogey I had like a colour consultant come in to the house because I live very I wanted to do something different with my living room but I wasn't quite sure

what I wanted to do and so I got somebody and she said How much does that cost? I don't know she did it for free again didn't she didn't she or what did you promise her I mentioned on the podcast

what was that? Mention on the podcast No, it didn't actually, that's bonus. Bonus, you can come into another room for that. Yeah, Emily, you owe me. She's brilliant, but she came and she took me out my comfort zone a little bit, and she was like, you need to colour drench.

And I was like, well, I don't know what colour drenching is. What are all doing now, yeah. Yeah, so now the whole living room is painted in this beautiful colour called Mouse's Back. Definitely a Farrow and Ball colour. It is a pharaoh. But I paid for that. Well done.

I know, well done me. Did you mention them? And so you'd have to pay for it again? Farrow and Ball. Sponsored by. Anyway, so I've done that and I, we've done the ceiling, I've done all the doors, I've done the whole, and do you know how colour drenching, I should have done this before? How much easier is it to colour drench? So much.

Don't have to worry about the fucking lines, no cutting in. It's like, fucking throw the shit on. And it looks banging, by the way. Banging. I mean, it looks great just through what I've seen on Instagram, but. It does look great. And I've done the windows, I've got into Zisner, the primer, eye one, two, three, apparently you whack it on anything, you can paint anything.

Yeah. I've had the drill out. Listen, I've been living my best life. Yeah. I love it. And now I feel like I've got a grown-up living room. Yeah. You know, before I felt like it was a bit student, not student-y, but it wasn't really

thought out, put together now it's like. A nice vibe to it. It felt cozy. I liked it. The other thing is, this is exciting. I started my new ADHD meds. Oh. So I've been off meds for six months.

I was living consciously with ADHD. Yeah. Turns out I'm not very good at that. that. Okay. So I've got new meds. These are fucking brilliant. Because also they're like ADHD meds and a Zen pic all in one. That's so unfair. I knew she'd be mad about that. Oh my God. Well, because basically they're amphetamines, aren't they? So it just my binge eating, which has been a lot, a problem for a long, long time has just been switched off. It's, and I was looking for the craving earlier going like, where is it? The Harrowbow, the. What?

Dairy milk, you know, and it wasn't there, it's gone, it's not there. Oh my God, you're going to be so skinny. Well, funnily enough, I went to have my coil fitted last week, because I remember we did it on the day of the podcast. Are you sure it's, there's nothing to do with that? It's nothing to do with the HRT stuff. Well, no, because I haven't started HRT yet, just have the coil fitted. Okay.

But I had to be weighed, yeah, to have the coil fitted. Yeah. And the number, yeah. Was not a number that I liked. Okay. It was a number that I've never seen before. Oh, no. Yeah, new number.

Oh, yeah. Big number. Wasn't happy about it. And I think it was what I needed to like get me into the mindset. Yeah. Anyway, I've lost five kilos this week. Wow. That is like a Zempeg.

Yeah. Just through. This week. This week. Just through not snacking probably. Just through three small meals a day. Yeah. I haven't given up anything.

You haven't given up anything. No, I've toast in the morning. You don't feel like snacking in between. Don't feel like. I have to force myself to eat. So the thing was, wasn't it like the, the um addiction so this drug is brilliant like i don't know why everybody's not in this dr sims um because it does all that stuff it turns off that like part of your brain that

is impulsive craving all of that shit yeah so she was talking to a therapist not my psychiatrist but one who's worked with the drug that i'm on and um she's like yeah it's really good for like impulsive spending it's good for gambling it can help with addiction it's but it will switch off and it's true like the binge eating for me was literally ruining my life and now I feel like I'm living like a normal it's a bit like when I went sober and I spent all that time thinking about alcohol and then now I don't think about it at all and my brain felt free it's the same freeing feeling it's wild and it's like as soon as I took it within half an hour I felt just that craving switch off.

That's amazing. Yeah, it's mad. Mad. Anyway, what else are you not? What else? Oh, yeah. Order the new kitchen. That's exciting.

Ooh. After how, I mean, didn't you just paint all of the cupboards? No, no, no, we're just adding to the kitchen. Oh, okay. So you know that, anyway, so I've done that. That was an age. I was really struggling to get there. The guy at Wren Kitchens, he must have called me 700 times.

And when I finally booked it, I went, have you ever worked as hard for a smaller commission than mine? He's like, not many. Anyway, we've got there in the end, didn't we, Philip? So that's happening. And yesterday was interviewed by The Suns Magazine Fabulous. So, you know. This is big time. That's me, really.

Wow. In a nutshell. A big fat nutshell. That wasn't a fat reference towards you. A nutshell that's five kilos less than it was last week. Okay, well, I'm a little bit gutted because I... Big fat, fried to pilot. I am still...

I know. It's just the only fit into. That's why I'm wearing it. We should get on to the meaty bit. Yeah, the bit that we're actually here for. Yeah, yeah, sorry, we've been chatting. And also, because I'm late, we haven't got much time. Okay, so basically last week, I don't know, if you follow me, you'll know.

I saw my mum, and she said how much she loved the podcast, which is always nice, because I live for that kind of praise. You look like your mum, but actually, do you know what? And my mum looks like Barbara Streisand. She does look a bit like Barbara Streisand, but actually I see it in your kids, especially Bali. Barley. Same shape, face. She's got the nose.

She's got, she's got the nose. You need to let go of your nose. You've got a great nose. I've tried my whole life. So anyway, she said how much she loved the podcast, which is lovely. Thanks, Mama. But she said, she laid the, you know, did it really well. She gave all the positives.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she went, except, do you think you could stop talking about Johnny's Willie so much and the sex and maybe, you know, a little bit less swearing? I was like, fuck no. fuck no dick dick dick my best friend was with me in the kitchen as well and I was like look aside from the fact that those are all my favourite topics okay so I'm not going to stop any time soon

I did explain to her that the discussions that you and I have are the same discussions that I have with my mates you know what I mean when we're half a drink or coffee or you know with the cat this is what we talk about we always said this was like a coffee with your mate slash a drunken chat in the looze at midnight with a stranger you've never met before. That's what it is. That's exactly what it is. And I said to, I'm, I know I'm your daughter, but I'm thinking, surely, you have these kind of conversations with your mates as well. Do you know what I mean? And I kind of said, the podcast is meant to feel like that, a discussion

with friends, because sharing stories, whether they're happy, they're sad, they're funny, they're embarrassing, whatever, you know, they create this sense of connection, this sense of totally, you know, and it deepens your relationships with each other and, you know, it validates your emotions. It means that, you know, it gives you insights and perspectives into, you know, into situations that you might not have considered before. I mean, look at the turnaround, you know. All that's been consuming you, but you've not talked about

because you're worried that nobody else is thinking about that. Exactly, exactly. And it's a beautiful reminder that we're all just a fucking mess. We're all just a mess, you know what I mean? And we're just doing our best. And no matter how embarrassing or cringe-worthy or shameful your experiences may feel, I can promise you that there is someone somewhere out there

that has done the same thing. So let's embrace it all together because you are never the only one who has done what? Who has a husband who refuses to get a vasectomy? I actually have to check myself a little bit on this because this is not my experience. I had my second daughter

and literally the next day, Jimmy ran to the doctor. Ran. Ran and said, do you know what? We like to give it a month. And he said, no, no, I'm absolutely certain I don't want any more children. He said, I think you need a little bit of time to decompress. Think it through.

We don't want it to be a rush decision. Jimmy's like, fine. On his way up, booked an appointment for a month later. A month later he turned up and he said, do your worst. Yeah. So he was booked in. I was always very, very grateful that he recognised that it was his turn to take on that

responsibility of contraception. Now, we did have a discussion about it. I obviously said, what if I die and you remarry? Basically, what every woman says? Yeah. What if I die? Yeah. Okay.

Not what if you divorce me. No. That's not happening. Because then you'll be under the patio What if I die And you remarry and your wife wants more children And you wife want to... And he said, darling, it's not personal

It's not that I don't want any more children with you I don't want any more children with anybody Yeah And I said, all right, fine, go fill your boots So off he went to the... Essentially the abortion clinic Right They don't, just so you know I dropped him off

They don't shout at the men walking in there Oh really? No one with pitchforks No, only the women I'm curious But I did ask Jimmy to send me some He was in a rush

He was off to do a gig with Gary Ball Oh Doing a gig Gary Ball Oh fine Sorry Do you want to pick that name up off the floor Clang Gary Ball

Let's hope he doesn't listen to this Because he might not be doing that gig again But he couldn't I couldn't record him So I said I'll send you some questions Can you send me voice notes back Okay Yeah

I love this Yeah, no, don't get too excited because he didn't listen to the instructions. Well, no, I'm just thinking it's quite sweet because at least, you know, you ask your other half before you can. Yeah, I don't record him illegally. And then contribute. No, but he didn't follow instructions, so he just sent me text. Anyway, so unfortunately, you now have to listen to me. But I said, do you remember how the subject of getting a vasectomy came up?

Yeah. And he said, I think I brought it up. Was it you, what were your initial feelings about having a vasectomy and why? He said, I just simply felt like the best idea moving, it was the best idea moving forward. We're both very clear we didn't want more children. I'm very clear that I don't want any more kids with anyone else. Should you pass away? So it just made sense.

Do you regret having a for a sec to me, I said. He said, not in the slightest. What was the actual process like? Uncomfortable and stressful as with any operation. It's a local anaesthetic. I mean... He said, for mine, I just had a local anaesthetic which was the most painful part in injection

to the ball sack is no joke. I feel for him. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. What? You are, you're harsh sometime. It's a big thing. There's a lot going on around.

here. All I know is that when he had a vasectomy, they said, make sure you stay in bed for three days. And when I hoofed a human out of my love tunnel, nobody said, make sure you stay in bed for three days. Like that. Tick-Tock, motherfucker. Yeah, they were like, what? You've been in more than 20 minutes. Off you fuck. Had some toast. Good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Had a we, poo. Good. See ya. After that, it was more a matter of ignoring what was going on. He said, like, I think it's just, you know, when you're in local and setting and there's tugging. Yeah. You know, it's like, just think about something else.

No pain, though. Doctors were very matter of fact about it and it was over very quickly. And I think that was quite a good reason to go to that clinic because they do so many of these that they're super slick. I said, do you worry, did you worry in any way it would affect your masculinity or make you less of a man? Do you think this is a concern of a lot of men? Now, we're going to get into this because it's interesting,

something I hadn't thought about. But I also had a chat with Kevin earlier. He brought that up. Kevin's one of our producers today. He says not in the slightest, but then I've not equated my ability to make sperm with my masculinity anyway. Also, my husband's a gayest straight man I've ever met.

So his masculinity is questionable in the first place. So he's never really equated it with that anyway. Once I knew it wouldn't affect my sex life and the appearance of what comes out, then it was fine. Well, this is it. This is what you were saying, wasn't it? Well, I was so shocked.

As was my bestie, Helen, she said, you know, she went you know it still comes stuff still comes out i was like what she was like i still got to fucking go sit on the loo and squeeze that shit out afterwards drop the kids off at the pool all that kind you know what i mean i was like oh you're kidding still got to deal with the cleanup yeah still got to have the you know the special towel i mean now i'm on the man's side i mean he's literally had an injection his ball sack yeah so that you don't have to deal with the contraception and now we're still complaining about having to go to the loo still have to wear a condom and it's like No one wants to do that.

Why do you have to wear a condom? So it doesn't like go like everywhere. Is it that much of a fath for you? Quite a lot comes out. It's normally quite hard to reach a thing. Hang on, so you'd rather wear a condom than deal with a bit of cum. Have you ever come in your eye? I'm just saying.

I haven't actually, no. All right, well, I'm just saying you might be a bit more like pro, you know. If you like it, then you better. So much to talk about. Maybe we'll put that in the... Yeah, maybe we'll... Listen and don't judge the next episode. In your...

No, because I sort of want to judge that. Why? I don't know. I wasn't... It was just bad aim. But what's the point... Here's my thing. What's the point in coming on your face

if you're going to catch it in a fucking condo? That's what I'm... If you want me to... What's the point? If he wants to come on your face, if that's what's happening, why you're... I'm just saying that, you know, what do you mean? Well, why is it in your eye?

Well, you've just... He's basically spelled it out. So he wants to come on your face. Yeah. Right. I'm just saying it's messy. It gets everywhere. It's like.

But that's what coming on your face is. If anywhere on you though, have you seen how it sticks to the hair fibres as well? Yeah. You can't clean it off. Am I in a twilight zone? But I'm just saying, just get rid of it all together.

Find a way to get rid of it all together is what I'm saying. Why can't they? But if you like having come on your face. I don't like having come on their face. Who likes having come on their face? Well, I don't know. You brought it up. Okay, good point.

Sorry, mum. Yeah, just, your mum's really not happy right. God, I'm worried about his mum, they say that's one of the day that she works out, how to make a podcast. Right, he says, once in your event. Can you edit that about out? No. And then it was fine. I've met one or two men that feel like that, but to be honest, it's always come across as a bit of an excuse because they don't want anyone messing with their junk.

Now, this is a big thing because I did a little bit of research, did an Emma, and I did some Michael Googling. and this is what I've found. So there's an article in a health line, I think, is the magazine. It's quite a big online magazine. It says a 2015 report by the United Nations showed that one in ten men in the United States get vasectomies and that's half the rate of men in Canada and United Kingdom. But that means that it's only one in five, two in ten in the UK,

are prepared to get a vasectomy. That doesn't seem like a lot. It's not. It's not a lot. and there is a real resistance when I put this out on stories there is such a resistance from so many men

about having a vasectomy Why? Did anyone say why? Well, I don't know because let's be honest if vasectomy takes 30 minutes under local anesthetic recovery times a couple of days and it's highly effective

in terms of contraception. Did ask these guys? Of course I asked these guys. Are you joking? Amazing. Amazing. We'll come to them in a minute. In contrast and there is a woman

I'm going to read a thing about she was sterilized because her husband refused to have a vasectomy. Sterilization procedures for women are usually performed a hospital surgical centre, the general anaesthetic, it's an invasive thing and recovery time is a lot longer

and yet there are men who will still refuse to do it and their wives will go through that instead. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to put myself actually in the position of, I hadn't thought about it like this, about being sterilised and actually

the thought of that does make me think, oh no, I wouldn't want to do that. And I don't know why, and I can't pinpoint. You're literally sterilising yourself at the moment, day by day. What do you mean? We're going through perimenopause.

Yes, I know, I know, but in the same way when you went and said, oh, no, I don't want any hormones and, like, because of the, she said, you need to have the coil and that's exactly how they're having hormone replacement. There's something, I don't know what it, like, it's a, it's a very finite state to be in, isn't it?

Well, it's less finite for men than it is for women. If a woman sterilise, there's no going back on that. You can't. Right, that's what I mean. Retie the tube. whereas a vasectomy large more or less is reversible these days right not a hundred percent effective like there are risks but it is largely reversible right but interestingly there was a doctor called dr john cullen who i don't think is related to the vampire family

cullins um and he works in alaska and he said it's tied into ideas about masculinity and he says i think it's important for men to take responsibility for their own contraception it's part of being an adult. I don't think it's fair for women to have all the responsibility on this for men not to step up for the plate is really fairly wimpy. I also went on to Reddit. I love a bit of a Reddit. I went down the Reddit hole. And it was interesting. This idea of masculinity came up. There was a lot of like, no one's coming near my nuts with a scalpel nonsense, all of that. When I think about the things that have been in and around and near and up my vagina, but anyway, sure. But there was one guy who was called J.D. British, and he got vulnerable and he said, it's this, it's fear.

It's fear of the pain, which is reasonable. He said, but I felt like I'd, I felt bruised like I'd been kicked in the nads for a week or two, but the vasectomy itself wasn't painful. It is kind of scary to think about, though doctors messing about down there with tools. Fear of being less of a man once he's no longer fertile, fear it will affect a performance. And somebody replied saying, you hit the nail on the head here. When I got my vasectomy, all the men in my family repeatedly mocked to me for months, I might as well be a woman and that I'm not a real man anymore

because I chose... I'm healthy, don't they? Don't they? What a bunch of twatts. Because I chose to get a vasectomy instead of my then-wife getting the more invasive tubal ligation. It was literally every time

I saw my brother's or dad for the longest time and occasionally came up as a quick way to emasculate me for at least a year. There's a lot to unpack there. But it was something that I hadn't thought about

and I wonder if it's again society not giving room to versions of masculinity that aren't based in fucking Andrew Taitland. I think my husband, like I've talked about Jimmy, he's not, he's not man's man, you know, he's not

into football, if we're doing it by like social standards of masculinity, he's not into football, doesn't know the rules. You know, if I'm watching something and you're like, oh look, he scored a feetball, like that's as much as Jimmy knows about football. And I think he has definitely found it hard sometimes to not

be that manly alpha you know drink loads of pints go watch the sports all of that stuff he's just not that guy and i think i wonder if this is just tied into that it's still very difficult for a man to be anything other than you know manly i don't know it's a it's a very interesting if that is the case though you know i wonder how many women are going to be going to i'm going to send this to my husband to listen to because the vasectomy for us was the best thing we ever did like it was a It's like improved your relationship, didn't it? Improved our relationship, improved our sex life.

Why didn't improve your sex, if you're on me asking? First of all, I didn't have to go. I love the fact that I go, if you don't mind me asking, like it's like the horse is bolted, babe. Of all the questions that you've asked, you've got a jawline like a saggy jellyfish. But if you don't mind me asking about your sex life, I am not going to let that go. Because there was a spontaneity that we didn't have to worry about it. Okay. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I didn't have to go. Oh, have I missed my pill? Which obviously I'd always miss my pill. We have to worry about whether we've got condoms. You have to worry about, you know. Did it wear off? Yeah, of course. Like novelty wore off.

And also, the other side of this is that I felt really fucking kept in mind. Yeah. Because at the time I was 34 or 5, I didn't want to put more hormones in my body. Yeah. You know, I wanted for the first time in my fucking life to let my body go into its natural cycle. Since I was 15. I've been on the pill since I was 16. and I was only off the pill when I was pregnant

you know so it was really important to me that I didn't want to go back on to that I mean now obviously I can't wait to get the fucking hormones in me that's exactly why I came off it because he was like you've done it for so long yeah for so long let me let me take this one has Johnny had ever said to me well he went to the doctors yeah and the doctor oh yes this is the other thing convinced him not to do it and well you know what if she dies

and you meet someone else and his that's like I don't think I want any more children and just think about it and then we moved and then there was stuff happened and just been really irresponsible ever since Oh so is it like the pull-out method Oh he comes on your face

That's what happens Can't get pregnant through your eyes I think it's cross But I do think it's important conversation to have And I just want to say if there are men listening And there's not many of you But if there are women who are next to their men You know put this on speakerphone

if it is an issue of masculinity like I feel I really feel for you because that is such social conditioning like it is gaslighting almost it's like oh yeah if you do that you're not a real man I mean it's just nonsense I it's like anything else vulnerability you're not a real man actually if a real man is vulnerable you have a vasectomy you not a real man that is you stepping up looking after your doing something for your wife but keeping her in mind and you're having an injection in you nuts that's manly actually after this after you've listened to this to to ask your other house what what they think if that if that was the case yeah i want to know i want to know because we didn't ask that question because we didn't you know we're not a man i didn't know this was the

direction it was going to take but i'd love to hear from your husbands via you or directly what the issues actually are around the reluctance to get a vasectomy because I don't think it can just be the pain because it's not that painful and people like I'm sure there are men who like get fucking tattoos but are suddenly like

or a car possibly get a vasectomy do you know I don't think it's the pain I think that's an excuse I think there is something inherently socially unacceptable about it the way you've yeah that argument it seems pretty strong

yeah an infertile man is somehow not a real man but it's almost like but no he's looking at you going Oh, infertile. It's not like you walk around with a big sign on your head. But it's funny enough, I think that's why when talking about sterilisation, that made me go,

oh, I think because having had children has been such a huge part of my life, and I've said before on here, it's like my biggest accompaniment. It's the only thing that I've done really, really well that I'm proud of, like, to my core. Yeah. So to have something like that done where I'd be like, well, there's just no option.

I don't want any more kids, you know, like what I kind of do. But I kind of, you know, maybe that's what it is. Oh, I don't know. It's not about me. I love that. What did these guys say? I'm going to ask you very quickly, you might have to repeat yourself a little bit, but do you think there is an issue around it affecting your masculinity?

Yes. I was actually thinking about what I connected to. It's almost the same. When, like, a doctor might say to a man, have you checked your testosterone level? It's almost like a slap in the face, or it's almost like a, you don't seem like other guys or something like. I think it's almost like the, it's like herd mentality is feeling like the same as everyone else. Yeah.

Testosterone, I think it's a lot to do with that. Because like, yeah, when people go for, um, I've gone on my head now. When you go for help with the baby? IVF. IBM, thank you. Oh, yes. IBM. Yes.

That's a huge thing when, when they do those tests. And I know every man, you know, that's why a lot of people keep it quiet. Well, and again, I think I thought that that was a feeling of guilt within the relationship. like I'm the one that can't provide the children or the issue lies with me, but I think I've mistaken that a little bit, and it could be certainly from the men's side to go, that's quite emasculating. Yeah.

Listener responses. These are quite sad, actually, some of them. Penny says, I have a chronic health condition which potentially could be passed to a baby girl. My ex and I had two healthy boys and I had a rough pregnancy and invasive delivery with both. He refused point blank to get a vasectomy, so I had to be sterilized. to eliminate risk to myself and future children, the full cycle of responsibility.

Like, it's a weird, it, I mean, she left him, obviously. I don't know if that was, I'm sure that wasn't the only reason. But that is, there is part of me that is like, if that is the conversation, if that is the decision he's going to make in light of the situation. Yeah. I don't know if I want to be with him either. I was going to say, exactly.

That's kind of like at that point, I mean, I don't know how old the kids were, but you start to question stuff. Totally. Lindsay says, hi ladies, my husband is so scared of hospitals and doctors. He said he would get a vasectomy, but then never even attempted to get an appointment at the GP, to be referred. I then took matters into my own hands. I think I was more, I was thinking made an appointment for him and you were like, in his sleep, chopped his nuts off. Oh, Bob it.

So I was more adamant than him to not have any more kids. We had two that I went to see the GP about being sterilised. the GP I saw never referred me because in her eyes this is like this is the female version of what Johnny got because in her eyes what if something happened to one of my children oh god oh as if I she says what the fuck I would never ever replace my kids I was so shocked her left without saying anything

I hadn't even thought of that perspective though she says it was a year or so later had a smyrteche mentioned this to the nurse who was horrified the GP had no right to refuse my request She should have referred me for a consultation at the hospital regardless. I then had a telephone call with a much nicer GP who referred me. And needless to say, I'm now sterilised. It wasn't an easy ride, but I'm so glad I did it. Anyway, she says love listening to you both.

No, Kat. Thank you. Yeah, and you sound like you love every minute of it. Not today. Anon says never written into a podcast before. So this is exciting. You're on. You're on. We're breaking your podcast show you with us.

And before I launch into a rant, you guys are fucking amazing. I love, love, love the podcast. so thank you for keeping it real. Please keep me anonymous. My husband is literally the biggest pussy out there. He's so averse to doctors, needles and all shit medical. The man is a joke. I love him to bits, obs, but fucking take one for the team, babes.

We are very lucky to have two kids, but the road to getting there wasn't easy. Two miscarriages, problem conceiving our son and a hellish birth resulting in an emergency C-section under general anesthetic the first time and our daughter who arrived within an hour after a traumatic pregnancy. Needless to say, I've been through the mill with my body and soul, producing a family while all he's done is wham-bam and done. So surely when I ask if he'll step up

take his turn to get and get the bastard snip it wouldn't be too much to fucking ask but no he refused he's scared blah blah blah despite most of his friends having had it done and say it's no big deal he resolutely so this isn't even masculinity this is literally I don't want a bit scared of the needles

that's what it's a bit scared of the needles but maybe that's what he's saying but that's not the truth. Well, I don't know. He says, anyway, she says, all his mates have had it times, no big deal, resolutely declined to take any responsibility. You can tell she's angry, for fuck's sake. I've worked, me too. I've worked my way through all the contraception going. None

really like me and are almost 40, we're not having any more kids, so why can't he do this one tiny thing over in minutes and a solution that would take the pressure off me for once? Because he's a fucking twat bag. Did she, do you say that? No, she says that. No, she's not happy. No. She's getting this off her chest. This would be good for, maybe you should get him to listen to, you know, what the research

you know what the trial doctor said yeah the cullen there needs to be far more onus on men to take equal responsibility they helped make the baby so why the fuck can't they help prevent them anymore it's not that fucking difficult i'm not sure i'm not the only one but come the fuck on men oh would there be a season three by then there better be i've just set up the subscriber stuff oh thank god for that emma yeah you're never the only one who oh god what we're doing oh yeah yeah is in a sex cycle last week when i said this. It's not a dildo on a bike seat. It's not a dildo on a bike seat, although I really do think that's something we should look into. I do too. Peloton are missing a trick.

It really are. We could do the videos. We could do the videos. Well, that'd be fun. I didn't know how that. I'm talking about, and I've looked it up and I've found out what it is. Okay. Is there a biologic physiological thing? It's called an affection versus sex vicious cycle. Okay. So here's what I'm talking about. So I've got this thing that happens in, in my relationship, and I have mentioned it on my story, so now I know I'm definitely not the only one. And it's all based around Johnny's balls, okay? And how full...

It's a little ball chatting. And how empty they are. Okay. So I'll find that, you know, like, we'll have sex, okay? And then it's, you know, we got on really well. We're really loving. We talk really respectfully to each other. Everything's really great.

And then the balls start to refill. Yeah. And as they start to refill, you know, then that start all that nice... It gets a bit testing. Yeah. Must be where it comes from. Do you know why I did that? Starts to dissipate.

And then, you know, like he starts to, you know, just be a little bit more tense. And then he's like a bit more of an asshole. And then, you know, I know, what he needs is basically to have sex. But because he's being an asshole, the last thing that I want to do is have sex with an asshole. So as a woman, I'm like, no, because actually I need you to, you know, kind of warm me up a little bit. I need a bit of fluffing here. I need some nice text. I need some thank you for doing this or you're so great at that.

I'm so lucky to have you because that for me is for play. That is over a long or a short period of time, which is generally why the reason we've had sex is because a bit of drinking, a bit of like, all of a sudden the emotional side comes out of them. I love you. You're such a great mom and, you know, and having a laugh and everything's relaxed because works in the background for both of us. And then the sex happens and then the cycle and then it's, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, I do. And it's like, and also the thing that I really love about, about it is after we've, I really love cuddling. I really love cuddles so much, you know. I think all women do, you know, and it's... Well, we just like intimacy. Most women don't get the same reward from vaginal sex. Men come with intercourse. Yes. Most women don't get that through into, through vaginal sex through, what's the word I'm looking? Penetration. Penetration. Um, we get it through the other stuff. So for us, the sex thing is nice to have. It's, but it's not, necessarily the be all and end all. It's the other stuff that's really nice for us as well.

Yeah. I think men can sometimes forget that that's our thing. That's our thing. That's where we get our rocks off. And it's like the oxytocin that's released in cuddling. Because, you know, no man has ever said, let's just cuddle. Let's just cuddle. And actually, I'm old enough and ugly enough to know that if they did, and I trust that motherfucker for a second. There's no way. I'm trusting that. You don't trust a cuddler. I am going to insist, I'm going to say to my girls, never trust a man who just says he wants a cuddle. Because then you need. It never happens like that. It's like when they say, do you want a massage? Oh, yeah, yeah. You don't want to give me a massage. Oh, I see where you're going now.

You know you don't want to give me a massage. Right, I thought you meant that if there is a man who just enjoys cuddling, you're not trusting that man. But what you mean is, it's never actually just a fucking cuddle. It's never just a cuddle. It's never just a cuddle. And it must be so difficult. And I'm so pleased I'm not in this, but in this digital age of this landscape of dating now, it was hard enough before when you were like, after you to have sex with somebody in the early, you know, the beginning of. a relationship and you cuddle afterwards because cuddling is something naturally that happens you're still riding that afterglow of the good stuff and you're there and you're like it's cuddling you're like as a girl and there's not a lot of guys listening but for these two guys in the room how we read that is this is affection this is like you must you must like me more than just like want to have sex with me like you which is wild right how how low is our bar I mean it really is how low is about oh he didn't kick me straight out of bed you must really like me But it's actually, everyone's in the buzz of it.

But we feel it in a much deeper, deeper emotional way. It's not just the oxytocin at that point for us. No. It's for the men. It's actually so much more. And so I think to myself now, God, we're in this, like, in this landscape of dating, like I say, like online now with kind of like, when you are just like meeting someone off hinge, having sex with them,

then do you know what I mean? You're like, not only is it, who else are they talking to? Where else are they going? And you're like, I can't. I mean, it actually gives me anxiety. I am so glad. Oh, my God. I am not in that cesspit.

But do you not also live quite vicariously for friends who are and like love the swiping thing? Yes. Yes. Sometimes I swipe for them. Do you? I love doing that the best. How to get out of the cycle. And the thing is, he knows it.

One thing I would say is we have a super open, like communicative relationship. Definitely. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not like we don't talk about it and I haven't said to him. what I need if you want to have sex regularly with me. I really fancy you. I fancied it's not enough. But it's not enough. No. And I know you would drop trow at any time of the day or night if I offered myself to you. But it, you know, and I probably would do it a lot more if you did A, B, C. Yeah. And we've talked about this before. It's not chore play. You know,

what you call chore play? Chore play. It's not that. Sorry, spat all over the microphone. That's nice. But there is just something linked to the way that we feel kept in mind. mind and whether we want to have sex with you. Yeah. And I've got actually some messages on the sex cycle here. We've got, ha, I can tell when we haven't done it for a while because we start bitching at each other.

Exactly, says one of our listeners. Oh my God, I get so effed off with it. I just literally tell him to go fuck himself sometimes. It doesn't go down very well. But hey, don't be an ass, says Hazel. I agree wholeheartedly, says Chikster, with you regarding the honeymoon after the, a lovely sex session. Yes, that's it. That's exactly what it is. And then if you don't happen to,

for whatever reason, provide the action replay within days, they get the hump and turn into grumpy old men. And the more they moan and keep on about the lack of sex, the less I want to lay down and share myself with him. Plus, when they buy you sexy undies and say, I bought you something. No, no, no, no, no, no, you didn't. You bought that for yourself. And totally relate to this. hubby definitely gets moody if he doesn't get some every week every week every week who are these men that cannot control their emotions because they haven't had sex like you should be embarrassed i mean it doesn't get some every week it completely puts me off and then we get into a cycle of moods and not having sex it pisses me off as i'm not just here for the sex but he gets pissed

off because he feels rejected i think the rejection is a really big thing alice says nothing less likely to get me in the mood, than a moody man with his balls too full. Yeah. And that, you know, I think the thing is that there is, there is a rejection element to it. Oh, poor boys. Which I don't think they would want to hear,

but I think it's true. I know. I look this up, apparently. What do you think the main reason? Men stop wanting sex cat. What do you reckon? Can you name, name me some. Flight suits and Krauser clips.

It's because you actually, there may be someone out there that goes, oh, my man doesn't. ever want sex. Medication, anti-Ds. Yeah. Stress about money, work, that kind of thing. Yes.

Having an affair? That's not on the list, but yeah, probably. I'm not wrong though. You're not wrong. You're right, though. Depression, stress, fatigue, alcoholism, and drug use illegal and legal because of the side effects of some drugs as well.

So, yeah, that is the reason why maybe your man isn't putting the pressure on you to have sex. But one thing I will say, which I think is nice. and it's something worth thinking about apparently couples who spend more time being affectionate after sex like spooning and cuddling and kissing stuff like that are more satisfied with their relationships

and their sex life what do your post-coital setup look like what's it like when you've done the deed let me see if I can remember like the only time I get that feeling of like that he actually wants to really cuddle me in our bed is after sex

and the rest of the time he's like facing the other way and I'm facing the other way no me too we touch feet when we go to sleep Yes. I can deal with that. They're like stroky foot, like with the york, like, oh. Yeah, he gets annoyed because I stimmed with my feet.

Right. So I do this weird, like, thing with my feet. So I do sometimes against his leg. He's like, you need to stop. It's just grim. Stop stimming, stimming. But I cannot fall asleep in a cuddle. Really?

Oh, no, it's a worst. Do you like a weighted blanket? Yeah, I love a weighted blanket. So what? So, like that. Because a weighted blanket isn't slightly furry and it doesn't like get sweaty and stick to you and the hands don't are in the wrong place not even that they're wandering but they're like they're sat right on your fat tummy or something do you know what I mean it's like for the love

of God but I've really been embracing that like kind of just like but it's not a great going to sleep thing for me all right okay so we like hug and roll hug and roll hug and roll that's fine after sex yeah I mean after sex it's sort of depend because we do a lot morning sex not a lot so when we're done it's like we need to get going fucking breakfast kids need looking after launching needs putting on fucking swimming lesson, you know, the whole shabank. I want to make a thousand crepes because it's my birthday. Yeah, exactly. The crepe cake.

But then I'm not very, I don't have a massively high libido. But when we do do it, it is exactly that. You do ride this like pink cloud of connection. And does that continue? Because we don't have heaps of sex, we do really focus on intimacy. Yeah. So we are very intimate in ways that wouldn't necessarily involve a penis in a vagina. Do you want to talk about that?

Well, it's just... I want to know about that, is what I mean. Do you? Yeah. It's not like dry humping. We're not doing that. But it's just... Lots of snogging.

Oh my God, that's so nice. We do loads of snogging. And we snog in front of the girls all the time. I hate it, don't they? They hate it, but you know what? It's so great for them to see their parents. So important. I never saw that kind of affection between my parents.

And, you know, the only time I saw them interact in a heated way like that was when they were fucking screaming at each other. So, yeah, they watch a snog. And they can sit there and they can vomit. They can do whatever they're like, I don't care. Yes. You know, we're very touchy-feely. I love that.

And so, yeah, that helps us keep connected. Like, if I was, I mean, even in the early days, you'd be like, it works. Yeah, in the early days. But we're 20 years together now. It's 20 years. I love snogging. I love snogging too.

I could snog all day long. That's the best. Fizzy knickers. Oh. That's what it does. Completely wasted. Oh. Oh.

Sometimes I go upstairs. On your own. Before I came here today. Did you? I had the house by myself. Did you have got the womanizer out? No, didn't have time. I really messed up.

What's the womanizer? What does that look like? Is that like Tracy's dog? Is it that thing that's got... It's got a clitoral suction. That's it with a thing inside it. No, it's sort of air. It's more of a suck.

It's fucking brilliant. Lily Allen talks about it in her book. Yeah, how much? Oh, I don't know, it was free. It was free. Yeah. Got it for free. Oh, it did a campaign for them.

Free vibrator? Yeah, I got 12, actually. I don't get anything. That's so unfair. Well, you shouldn't turn you back on Instagram. God, it's not doing it right, am I? I'm not doing it right. I think I've pissed my mom off enough today.

That'll be all. Yeah, that's it. Moving on. Yeah, okay. So, are we at the stage already where we're talking about next week's topics? Well, next week is the final episode. So it's going to be slightly different. Inspired.

by our we listen and we don't judge real which went down a treat if you haven't watched it it's on TikTok and Instagram and actually there's an eight minute version because the full version was long there's an eight minute version on YouTube you can watch the whole thing it got so many responses

from so I mean we disclosed some pretty grim things It started quite PG and then it We then went on to picking your nose and eating it It's like the beer fear so I said it Yeah I've gone to sleep okay I've drunk next to you But I've woken up I'm with God now So we don't we're not I'm not that person anymore

Yeah Let's just skirt over what I said. Yeah. So she picks her nose and eats it. You're not skirting. She sniffs the knickers and likes it. Clearly bad skirting.

Paul skirting. Yeah. There's lots of people that also do those things. What we are doing in the last episode is we want your confessions. We want your grottiest, dirtiest, most disgusting confessions. Now these, it can be that. It can also be, what's the worst thing you've ever done? Yes.

What's the one thing you were going to take to your fucking grave? It'll do you good to get it off your chest. Yeah. Tell us all of those things. and we're going to do, it's going to be the episode, it's can and Emma listen and they don't judge. Yeah, and you can do it completely in honestly. And the great thing about our WhatsApp is it's a number,

so you don't even need your name because all it'll come through is a number. To be honest, though, our assistant, Shell, will hear that. Just so you know, it'll only be me, between me, Shell and Emma. And these guys who will be producing it and everybody else who listens, but we won't put your name in. So there you go. Really anonymous. I'm happy with the small things as well.

Things like, you know, a lot of people do that thing, don't they, where they don't clean knives. Bread? But think about the yeast. Like, don't you want to clean it? No? No. I think there's more important things to worry about.

All right. I'm just saying I wouldn't do that, but not that I'm judging. Just a little example of the grot bag confessions, grottie confession. Have we got one already? Yeah, we've got a few. A taster.

I'm going to give you one. Okay. Until my early 20s basically means I still do it. Let's be honest. I pick scabs and ate them. Do you want another? I kind of, you kind of. You got me warmed up now.

I bend over in front of the mirror after a number two to see if I've left any tissue crumbs. I cannot wait for the next episode. I'm actually really looking forward to this. We don't care what you put in there. All we can promise you is that we will listen and we won't judge. So send in your stories to either you're never the only one at gmail.com. That's Y-O-U-R-E or drop us a message or voice note at 07457407.404. we're out of time we are probably a good thing yeah it is let's shut up now thank you so much for

listening and see you next time see you next week the things i say do i'm always what i mean i'm neither saying or sinners i'm somewhere in between this world is complicated everything moves quick and lying to yourself if you think that you've got to live everybody love

you're never the only one you're never the only one don't live inside your strength because everybody makes mistakes Don't judge me I'm a weakness Don't judge me on my floor Because no one's really perfect By the grace of God goes home

Everybody knows You're never the only one You're never the only one Don't live inside the shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Taking the time to make sure everything's okay Picking up like to everyone else

Each and every day When I feel there's nothing left for you to spend on you You're allowed to be happy to Never the only one. Never the only one. Because everybody makes mistakes Oh You're never the only one

You're never the only one Oh And live inside your shame Because everybody makes mistakes Oh Oh You know,