ZM's Bree & Clint - Best Of ZM's Bree & Clint – Callers (part 1)

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

This is a wrap of some of our favourite callers from 2023, we've talked to some pretty out the gate people and loved every minute of it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The best bits of ZM's Brie and Clint. Talking about the dating rule from the 1990s that said three dates before you get... Down to business. Down to business. Yeah. A bit of rumpy-pumpy. Alright. Sorry, I've been around my mum and she says that a lot and now I'm picking up...

I think I'm guilty of rumpy-pumpy as well. And now I've picked up... It's quite a graphic word, eh? It's okay. Oh, now that I think about it, no... It's quite a graphic word, eh? That's okay. Oh, now that I think about it, no. It's very descriptive. Yeah. You know what we're talking about.

We're asking you how long did you make them wait? Yeah. Like, was it longer than three dates? And did it work out well? Did you do what Bree did and tell the guy that he had to wait 12 weeks? I don't even know why I put a number on it and said 12 weeks. It was so weird. The text we got before, I've lost it now, but it's

so funny. It's from somebody in a gay, who's gay. I've found it. You want me to read it? It says, I'm gay and I think you got the question around the wrong way. It's how many hookups before you should date someone. That's so good. Let's go to the phones and talk to Sam.

Hey, Sam. Hi, Sam. Hello. Tell us, Sam, how long did you make him wait? My golden rule is four weeks or one month. Okay. I think that's fair, Sam. How many dates do you expect to have in that four-week window?

Four? Yeah, around that. Right. Yeah, I think that's totally reasonable. Yeah, I thought it was too. Have you ever broken the rule, made an exception, Sam? Yes, once, and it didn't end very well. So I went back to my golden rule.

Where did it come from, that golden rule? Where did you come up with it? I think I read it in a book once. Yeah. Dolly Doctor. In the sales section. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Sam, fascinating.

Thank you. We appreciate that. Let's talk to Chris. G'day, Chris. Hi, Chris. G'day, guys. How you doing? Good, thanks.

Chris, was it you that was making someone wait? Yes and no. Okay. But more so, yes. So I've got two examples. Yes and no Okay More so yes So I've got two examples My ex who I was with for three years We met through mutual mates And I'm the kind of person that

Prior to her I was single for seven years More so by choice And not really meeting the right person You're a player You're a big dog on campus I kind of went, okay, like, first day went well.

Second day, I was like, I actually really dig this woman. She's amazing. And on the third day, she went, she instigated. I went, nah.

I actually really like you. Like, I don't want to. Don't want to ruin it. You held out. I was doing it too soon. next thing you know, well, mind you, the very next morning,

we were, you know, doing, doing. Oh the very next morning we were you know, doing... Oh, wait, so it didn't last at all. Chris is like, yeah, but I at least thought about it. Purely symbolic gesture. I thought about waiting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My current partner

now who I live with, when I first met her, she was in the process of moving to Whangarei from Hamilton and she was like, I'm going to break your heart. We can't, you know, like from Hamilton and she was like, I'm going to break your heart we can't, you know, like we can hang out but I'm going to break your heart and then the same thing, three dates later we were doing long distance and now

we've moved cities for each other and now we live together so it's three dates. So both of yours are three dates, so you reckon the three dates is about right? Three date rule. Three dates, four dates, yeah. So both of yours are three dates. So you reckon the three dates is about right. Three date rule. Three dates, four dates, yeah. That's the perfect amount, I reckon, I hear.

Or three dates and then you pretend that you're going to wait a little bit longer but then do it anyway. Chris is like, it's a great way to show them that you really like them where you go, nah, I really like you, we should wait. But you still get to get naked. Let's talk to Linda. Hey, Linda. Hi, Linda.

Hey, how are you guys going? Good, thanks, Linda. Tell us, how long did you make them wait? You know what? I'm 61 years old. I'm pretty much a sure thing these days. Linda. I don't know how much longer I've got.

I've got much longer on me. I adore you, Linda. I go for it, Linda. Exactly. You know what? To me, if you feel it with somebody, you feel it. You know, that's love at first sight.

I mean, what happens if you leave it for three months and you're dating this guy and then you finally do it and there's no connection whatsoever? That's what happened to me, Linda. I kind of agree with you, Linda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I kind of agree with you, Linda.

I feel like if it feels right, you feel comfortable, then why not? Do I at least have to buy you dinner first, Linda? Oh, not these days, no. Linda's like a glass of wine and a bag of salted nuts and I'm all yours. Yeah, I'm all yours. If you kiss me correctly, I'm all yours, baby. Oh, Linda. I am obsessed with you, Linda.

Yeah. No, you know what? To me, it's like, you know, people say, oh, I fell in love at first sight, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Well, you can fall in lust at first sight and first kiss and all that sort of stuff. If you feel it and it works, go for it. Go for it. If it just ends up being a one-night stand, oh, well.

You know what? Great advice, Linda. Live for now. Great advice. And it's from someone with life experience, you know, and I'm going to take that on board. I mean, I'm in a relationship. Yeah, I was going to say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to make your partner wait any longer is what you're saying. No. You want me tonight? You can have me. Brain clit. Bispits. Where did you get stuck?

What did you get stuck? An hour old where you saw a guy at the Warriors game on the weekend get his foot stuck, you know, when the chair folds up, his foot went down in there and then he couldn't get out. I'm keen for some full body stucks. Like I hope we get some like full wedged in person type stories. I want a head stuck somewhere.

You want a head stuck? I want someone stuck in like a McDonald's playground. Yeah, I want someone who's put their head through the bars at the zoo and then couldn't get it out. You know, stuff like that. Well, we're throwing it out there so let's see what we get. Meg's here. Hi Meg. G'day Meg. Hey, well I got your head stuck story. Brilliant, straight away. Alright, hit us's see what we get. Meg's here. Hi, Meg. G'day, Meg. Hey, well, I got your head stuck

story. Yes, Meg. Brilliant, straight away. Alright, hit us with it. Tell us. So I was dubbed the candy apple kid because I had a big head and a little stick body when I was a kid. They wouldn't give a kid a complex, would it? I got my head stuck in everything, but

one time it was a pool fence. Tried to sneak in, going head first, and I got stuck with my head inside, body outside. Yes, Meg. Did they ever do that thing where they pry the bars open so you can wriggle your little

lollipop head out of there? Massive, but all we got is just everyone laughing on the home video. I feel like Meg, your name really is open to the nickname Big Head Meg. Yeah. There goes Meg. She's got a big head. Big Head Meg.

Big Head Meg. She has a big head. Big Head Meg. Sorry to trigger you, Meg. I'm also a fellow woman with a large head. So, you know, we find each other. I want to bring Meg in and try different hats on her. Kelly's here.

Hi, Kelly. Hi, Kelly. Hi. Tell us first, Kelly, what was the thing that you got stuck? I got stuck between a mattress and a staircase. What, like Ross on Friends? Yeah, basically. It was what it felt like.

My mum got me a new double bed as a 16-year-old, so I got so excited and put it upstairs myself through a corner staircase. Oh my god, literally like Ross with the couch. I yelled pivot many a times. Pivot! Pivot, Kelly! staircase. Oh my God, literally like Ross with the couch. Yeah.

I yelled pivot many a times. Pivot! Pivot, Kelly! Pivot! So you got pinned in there because you're transporting an entire double bed up the stairs by yourself. How long were you stuck there before someone came to help you? I had to wait till my mum got home which was probably about two hours.

Oh my God! Oh my God, Kelly. Did you have any food on you? No, but luckily it wasn't too bad. Who has food on them? Well, one time when I was a kid, I climbed up a cupboard and the cupboard fell on me and I got stuck under there for two hours and I ended up eating the shell pasta from one of the cards I got my mum for Mother's Day.

Desperate times, I guess. It had paint on it. You're like the beer grills of macaroni art. It all makes sense now. Why I am the way that I am. Jill's here. Hi, Jill. Hi, Jill.

Hello. Tell us, mate, where did you get stuck? Well, it's what I got stuck. I got some beads when I was, God knows how old, really little, and decided to shove them up my nose. Oh, Jo. For some stupid reasons. Went so far up that mum had to take me over a couple of days

and not sleep and watch me, you know. Oh, no. Stop breathing. Took me to five different places, and this one, obviously, finally, was able to have some special little tiny kids' tweezers and was able to pull one out. Would it have been up like in your brain or something? Yeah, way up past kind of where you can feel them.

Oh, your poor mother. Oh, my God. You hear those stories of kids shoving things up their nose and then like as an adult having severe sinus problems. Because no one knew they put it up there. Yeah. And then realising. You've got a kid with like a 20 cent piece up there.

You've got a piece of Lego up there. Yeah. And then realising. It could be like a 20 cent piece up there. Get a piece of Lego up there. Yeah, right. Oh, Jill. I was a bit silly and I think I actually did it again, but not as fast. Oh, Jill. Oh, Jill. I think I must have been testing how far I could actually push them up without having to get them properly pulled out.

Yeah, that's how other people normally get in trouble as adults too, Jill. What? Sticking things up there? Oh. Yeah. Different type of bead. Stop it. Jane's here. Hi, Jane.

Hi, Jane. Hi. Jane, tell us, mate, what was the thing you got stuck? So my brother put his wanger inside of a little CD hole. Inside a little CD hole? Inside the little CD hole? Yep. Like where you put the CD, he put his wanger in the CD

player? No, in the hole in the middle of the CD. In an actual CD? Yes. Wow. I'm done, Jane. What age? What age?

Because I'm... I'm dead. I'm dead. It's not a very big hole. It's not a very... I want to say 11. Can I ask, Jane, what was the CD? Oh, great question.

Metallica. He entered Sandman. Oh, God. And wait, wait, wait, wait. So what happened? So he's done it. It's got stuck. Did he have to, like, tell your parents about it?

No, well, we were home on our own and a couple of friends and he panicked and tried to pull it off and it wouldn't work. So we had to snap it for him. Oh, no. The whole family are together around his wanger stuck in the Metallica CD. Pretty much. Oh, jeez. That's so gutted.

This Metallica CD would have been ruined. Have you ever tried to snap a CD? It's not easy. Oh, it would have been. It's not easy to snap a CD. And that's how Jane's brother got circumcised. Jane, you've won caller of the year. Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you, Jane. I like how you just rip straight into the story too. She's told it before. You're straight into it. Hi, I'm Jane. My brother once got his wanger stuck in a Metallica CD. The end. Three Inclets.

The Best Bits. Three Inclets. Tradie versus Lady. All right, here we are. Last game of the week of Tradie versus Lady. The Tradie's on 32. The Lady's just in front on 33. Today, our lady is calling from Dunedin.

She is 28 years old and her... Oh, you're going to have to read that. Sorry, I don't have my new glasses on. She's five centimetres off from having to be in a booster seat. Oh, my God. Welcome to the show, Alana. G'day. Hello.

Alana, how tall are you then? I'm 153. So you know the ad where it was like, wait till you're 148? Oh, yeah, for kids when they move out of their booster seat. Yeah. Yeah. So does that make you five foot? Yeah, five foot exactly.

Five foot exactly. Pocket size. Hey, Alana, how's the weather down there? It's actually not too bad today. Oh, good. Good, because it's crap up here. Not as humid. You're taking on our training today.

They're calling from Queenstown. They're 26 years old, and they eat Best Foods mayonnaise by the spoon. Welcome to the show, Jordan. Jordan, look, I love Best Foods mayo just as much as the next person, but buy the spoon? Definitely buy the spoon. Do you buy that jumbo jar? You know how there's the regular jar, the squeezy bottle,

and then that big whopper dog jar? Is that you? I don't have to buy anything. I just eat the mayo that the boys buy at work. The boss has been on my case about it this week already. He's on your case for eating other people's mayonnaise. Jordan, honestly, just, I mean. Get a hobby.

Or eat some Nutella. Have a piece of bread. At least put your breast foods mail on a piece of white bread or something, like a spread. God, I feel like I'm back at home when I used to eat salami by the slice. By the stick. And my dad would be like, put it on a piece of bread. when I used to eat salami by the slice. And my dad would be like, put it on a piece of bread. Okay, Jordan, your buzz is tradie.

Alana, yours is lady. First of three correct answers gets 50 bucks from KFC. Good luck. God, imagine your poos, Jordan. Anyway, question number one. What is Tuesday's public holiday commemorating? Tradie. Yes, Alana, you're in.

Anzac Day. It is,'re in. Anzac Day. It is, of course, Anzac Day. Question number two. If you're born on the 13th of August, what star sign would you be? I'll give you a few options. Sagittarius? Yeah. Alana?

Leo. You would be a Leo. That is on the money. Two to the ladies. You need this one here, Jordan, to stop her. Question number three. On which streaming platform... Come on, Jordan. He's like, where's the mayonnaise questions?

Question number three. On which streaming platform can you watch the reality TV show Lovers Blind? Ready. I'm going to say Jordan. You're Justin. Is it TVNZ On Demand? Ready. I'm going to say Jordan, you're just in. Is it TVNZ On Demand? No.

Good guess, but no. Alana, for the win. Is it Netflix? It is Netflix. She's got it. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Jordan, do you have any idea how much mayonnaise you could have bought with $50?

So much. Do you know how much KFC I could have dumped in a jumbo jug? Jumbo jug? You see, now that sounds like a good time. KFC and Best Foods Mayo. It's all about you, Alana. Congrats, you're the Tradie Burst Lady Champion. Awesome, thanks, Doug.

Nice work. Have a good weekend, mate. Bree and Clint. Best bits. Bree and Clint with Maddie filling in for Bree. She's in Europe. She's back next week. That's Miley Cyrus' latest. It's called Used to be Young. Maddie

said when he used to be young, he had the opportunity to become an All Black. That's definitely the way I'm choosing to remember it. And you can because nobody can say otherwise. Nobody knows what would have happened. I was asked to audition,

not audition, try out. I don't think that, yeah, okay, yeah, try out. For our first 15 rugby team at school. Was it try out? Is it the, yeah, I don't know, is it? It's not audition. It's definitely not audition. All right, Matty, show us what you got.

You walk out there with your cassette player. Five, six, seven, eight. And one. And two. And a. There's not a lot of jazz hands in rugby, but we're going to put you on the maybe pile. So we've asked you what could have happened, what might have been.

There's lots of relationship ones. I think about the relationship ones a lot. I know you and Ryan have got a similar story, right? If you didn't come back to New Zealand for the opportunity to work on TVNZ again and end your OE, you and Ryan might never have happened. I don't think we would have met, no. So it was destined. Is that destiny?

Do you believe in destiny? Fate, yeah. Yeah. It's written in the stars. What could have been for you? Stacey's called up. Hi, Stacey. Hi, how are you guys?

Good. How are you doing? Yeah, good, thank you. All right, talk to us about the fork in the road moment for you. So when I was about 19 or 20, I decided to apply to a TV show. It was called Missing Pieces back like 15 years ago now. Yeah, David Lomas. Yes. Yeah, another one.

Yeah. And if I hadn't been accepted to that, I would not have met my husband and had our two kids. Wait, did you go on missing pieces to find your husband? No, but it turned out that that's how it happened.

Wow. Who were you, if you don't mind me asking, who were you trying to find? My dad. Did you find your dad? Yes, but we don't, we've kind of were you trying to find? My dad. Did you find your dad? Yes, but we've kind of lost touch now. Right, right. But he was in Australia, and I made the decision to move over to get to know him better and things, and that's where I met my husband. And about six months later, he followed me back to New Zealand, and we were engaged a

few months after that and married the next year. Wow. There you go. Wow. That's meant to happen. Yeah, that's a beautiful story. I love that. That's what we look like.

We've been married almost 13 years now. Oh, Stacey, congratulations. Thank you. As you get David Lomas to do a like a where are they now special. Yeah. Let's go to Nicole on 0800 ZM. Hi, Nicole. Hi there.

What was it for you? What could have been? Oh, I had applied for university to get a Bachelor of Oral Health, but I had also applied for the New Zealand Army at the same time. So I received both acceptance letters and they were sitting out in front of me and I had to choose one. That was my fork in the road.

Wow. And which way did you go? I went with the Army. Right. Correct me if I'm wrong, can't you train to be a dentist or an oral surgeon or something within the Army? That's right.

Yes, so I ended up joining the Army, and within a couple of years, the Army actually sent me to university to study exactly what I applied for a couple of years earlier. Only difference was that I left on graduation with no student loan, and I actually bought my first house while I was studying. You got paid.

You got paid. You hacked the system. I got paid to study, that's for sure. It was best deal going. All you had to do was go to war for a couple of years. Fly into battle. War on plaque. Shoot some bad guys.

War on plaque. Nicole, that's so good. That's so good. That's the call of the day. I appreciate that so much. All right. good. That's so good. The call of the day. I appreciate that so much. Alright, Brinkley with Maddie. Next on the show, this is bold. Maddie says he has bathroom

advice for girls. You're welcome. Yeah, he said, girls, listen up. There's something you're not doing in the bathroom and you should be. If anyone knows ladies, it's me. I hope it's putting the seat up. The best bits. We're talking phobias.

We were just talking about the causes of breeze phobia, trypophobia, and we got a lot of texts from people who are trypophobic saying, please, Clint. Stop talking about it. Stop talking about it. If you don't know what it is, it's the fear of a cluster of holes. Oh, now who's talking about it? No.

Oh, I'm just, I'm so on edge. Like, I feel like you guys are going to show me another bit. Okay. Can I ask, with trypophobia, you know those videos of people who put the blackhead strips on their nose? Oh, yuck. And then they pull out multiple blackheads that you can't look at that? No, I hate it.

Yeah, well. I hate it so much. So let's not talk about that one. Let's talk about other phobias that people have. What are you afraid of? What are you can't look at that? No, I hate it. Yeah, well. I hate it so much. So let's not talk about that one. Let's talk about other phobias that people have. What are you afraid of? What are you so afraid of, Mel? What is it for you? Well, like Bree, I've got the same one.

So that sent me through high anxiety driving. It's horrible, isn't it, Mel? I didn't even show you the photo that I showed. No, no, I know. Let's not talk about it. I know it's the one you showed her. Let's not talk about it. Let's not talk about it.

I can feel it in my chest. Do you have another one? Yeah. So, you know the green scours you wash the dishes with? Yes. Yeah, scouring head. Brand new, can't touch them, make me want to vomit. I just heard you gag.

Yeah. I just heard you gag talking about it. Yeah, so those, no. Once they're wet, fine, but they need to be soaked up. So wait, once they're wet, you're okay, but if they're not wet, not okay. I can't open the packet, I can't touch it. You know you can live without them, eh? I don't even own one and I'm fine.

But they're really good for cleaning. Can't live without a scrub daddy. Get into a scrub daddy. You can get them on a handle now Can I ask you Because you know what really does it for me That I'm just like it makes me gag Is a microfiber towel

I can't touch it When they stick to your hands Makes your skin feel like it's covered in hooks Okay thanks Mel Let's talk to Marnie Hi Marnie You're in a safe place no one can hurt you What's your phobia Yeah. Okay, thanks, Mel. Let's talk to Marnie. Hi, Marnie. Hi, Marnie. G'day.

You're in a safe place. No one can hurt you. What's your phobia? Oh, God. Okay. Sunflowers. Sunflowers. Why? For the same reason as Brie?

With the tiny holes in it? Oh, maybe. I've never ever thought of it like that. I just cannot look at them. I cannot go near them. I don't look at flower shops or any good bunches of flowers in case there's a sunflower. They just freak me out.

Wow. They are intimidatingly tall, a sunflower. Yeah. God, imagine what sunflower season, spring I'm assuming, would just be hell for you, Marnie. Oh, it is, yeah. Yep. Terrifying.

Do you remember those, from the 90s, those dancing sunflowers you could get with the sunglasses and you'd push the button and it'd play a song and the sunflower would dance? Well, don't set Marnie off. Yeah, I'm thinking of that now. Not cool, not cool. Sorry, Marnie.

I did say this was a safe place. Turns out I lie a lot. Not so much. Thanks so much. I need to read out a few texts before we move on. Someone said, I have a phobia of driving up steep and narrow driveways. The fear is that the car will fall backwards. Oh, wow.

I would have thought it was just you're scared of clipping the wing mirrors or something. Bathmophobia. Is it real? Apparently. Okay. Someone else said, my dear friend has a phobia of labels in her clothing. Weirdest thing ever. She has to get someone to cut them off before she wears

them. She's actually terrified. Wow. What about the real long label? Yeah. You know? Inside jeans a lot of the time. And it just scratches you? Too much information man. No one needs that much information about their clothing. Edie's called up I know a hundred dials at him. Hi Edie.

Hi Edie. How do things? What $800 at him. Hi, Edie. Hi, Edie. Kia ora, team. What's your phobia? Yours is good. So I have a fear of people eating cherry tomatoes too close to me in case the juice spritz into my ear. Your ear specifically? Yeah, I don't know. Edie, not your eye or your face?

This has to be past trauma. Let's your face. This has to be past trauma. Let's analyse this. This has to be past trauma. You were probably at school. Someone was having some cherry tomatoes and boom. Probably, yeah, and I can't remember the actual moment happening, but it's just become a trauma for me. Well, you've blocked it out because, I mean,

how horrible to go through that. I know. Imagine it. Can you eat a cherry tomato? Yes, but I chopped them in half. So they can't burst. I was about to say. Oh my God.

I was about to say, Edie, good time to have that phobia because cherry tomatoes are so expensive. Oh yeah, this is the time of year. Yeah, they are. This is the good time of year. Thanks, Edie. One more from Navindra.

Hi, Navindra. Hi, Navindra. Hi. What's your phobia? So I have a phobia? So I have a phobia of people dressed as rabbits. God, Easter time would be

not good for you. Yeah. Rabbits specifically? Yeah, no, Easter is the worst. Can you do a Playboy bunny? Playboy bunny is fine. So sexy rabbits are okay. You're fine with a sexy rabbit? Yeah, and I'm fine with regular rabbits. I own a rabbit.

Okay. Bugs Bunny? Yeah, there's something. Bugs Bunny is fine because he is a rabbit. It's the idea of somebody just actively dressed as a rabbit. Navendra, what are your thoughts on the furry community? Because that would just not be for you. Yeah.

I don't personally partake, but... Because it would terrify you because you have a fear. Navendra doesn't want to yuck someone else's yum. I can hear it in her voice. Or Navendra said, oh, but they can dress up as dogs. It's just rabbits. It's just rabbits. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, thanks, Navendra. It's complex,. It's just rabbits. Okay. Thanks to Vengeance Complex but there's things generally are. It's so interesting, hey, how the brain works. Someone else texted through and said I have a fear of anything touching my sternum. I cannot cope.

Sternum's a weird vulnerable place on your body. I'm absolutely terrified of plain old garden gnomes. Yeah, they are a bit creepy. Someone else said, I'm terrified of peach fur. Yeah. What about, tell them what you said earlier.

Yeah. How you don't wash off the fur. No, I never wash it off, no. That person would be freaked out by that. And my favourite text of all, I have a phobia of Bowdoin Barrett constantly kicking the ball away and then losing us the Rugby World Cup. After Saturday, we all do.

We all have a fear of that. Yeah, that's quite a reality. That's valid. Your feelings are valid. Play ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Play ZM.