ZM's Bree & Clint - Best Of ZM's Bree & Clint – Mumma Di Part 2

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

She's so nice we're doing it twice! We're back with another instalment of Mumma Di's best moments on the show from 2022. Like Bree says "if there's a trend, we like to put my mum through it".See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Brain Fletch. The Bispets. Look, on our show, when there's a trend, we like to put my mum through it. It's her job. Yeah, it's her job. She doesn't get paid for that job, but she's good at it. But the latest trend that's going around is where people, one person will have headphones

on with music playing, so they can't hear anything, and they have to call someone, and the other person has to feed them the lines to have a conversation it's very funny you have to lip read what i'm saying to your mum we'll be able to hear you and your mum but you won't be able to hear i can't hear you can't hear her yeah you have to say what you think i'm telling you to say exactly and you need to feed me lines that are going to make sense where her and I can have a conversation. Okay.

You put those headphones in, which are connected to an iPod. We're going to play some music down there. Okay. What music have we got? No! That's a Big Bang Theory. It's a Big Bang Theory.

Okay, cool. Oh, it's so loud. Now we're going to call your mum. So you dial your mum. Call my mum? Call your mum. Okay, cool. It's so loud. Now we're going to call your mum. So you dial your mum. Call my mum? Call your mum. Okay. I'm calling her now.

Good, perfect. No need to yell. Oh, this song is so annoying. Oh. You tell me when she answers Hello Hi Hi mum

Hi mum How's he going? I'm good What's the go? Are you on crack? Yeah, totally Well, what's wrong? You ought to get that money, honey.

What are you talking about, Brianna? Do you need some money from me? Mum, look, I'll be honest. I need some money. What's it for, Brianna? I got on the booze too much and I spent all my savings. Well, too bad. Too sad.

Give me some money, please. How much do you need? $5. $5. I need $5,000. Oh, you've got to be joking. It has to be for something a bit more serious. I want to get new titties.

Oh, Brianna, you don't need new ones. Big hungers. You've got great ones. Oh, Brianna, fair dinkum. You don't need anything. What are you thinking? What do you mean, what am I thinking? What are you thinking, Mum?

I got a headache. You've got a headache. You've got a headache. You should see it from my end. Is she still there? Can I please, like, okay, I'm being serious. Can I please have some money? How much? You tell me how much you can give me.

It depends what it's for. Big, big kahungas. No, because you've got good natural ones anyway, so you don't need it for that. All right, screw you, bye. Oh, Brianna. That's a bit rough. Hang on.

What the hell just happened? You asked your mum for some money for some big boobies. And you know what? That was actually a perfectly legible conversation. Really? Turns out, as an interpreter for Australians, I'm quite good at it. I feel like we're just, you know, in sync. Yeah, yeah, I'm the middle person.

And did she say she'd give me money for... No, she said you've got lovely big boobies already. I better call her back. The best beds of ZM's Brinkland. Look, in the lead up to Christmas, I thought this was quite fitting because I came across this list of people who were talking about the worst Christmas gifts they'd ever received. Oh, ungrateful.

No, I don't think they are. And hear me out. And you might want to avoid this if you are buying gifts for people. Woman receiving a vacuum cleaner. My mum received a broom from my dad one year. Piss off. No, no joke. Piss off.

No joke. There was a bow on it and everything. I can kind of, and please don't take me out of context. I can kind of understand if it's like a bougie vacuum cleaner and someone's always wanted a Dyson kind of thing. No. No, no, I'm not saying it's okay. I can understand it.

Hear me out, hear me out. No, no, no, no, no, no, because you're leading people astray. Hear me out. Don't buy a vacuum cleaner for someone. I can understand why you... Unless it's a robo-vac. Just please, I can kind of understand

why you think it might have been a good gift because you're like, this is fancy. What I can't understand is a broom. A broom is just manual labour. Okay, how about... How did he justify it to her? I think you should buy your wife a vacuum for Christmas this year.

I think she should buy me one. And then you see how she reacts. I think she should buy me one. She will be like, are you joking? I would love it. You would love it. That's because you don't do any vacuuming. It is a misnomer.

I do so. Anyway, back to this list. Your dad gave a broom. That is outrageous. Which is real bad. My mum still to this day, I reckon I would have been about eight when this happened. If we called my mum right now, she would still rage. About the broom.

We'll get her on later. You wait. She will rage about it. But I think these might be worse. Okay. So let me read a few of these out. Get her on, Claude. Get her on.

Yeah, can you call up mum and dad? Yeah. Someone said, my ex-boyfriend gave me a packet of cigarettes after I had quit three months before to celebrate my progress. The most memorable thing he gave me also was chlamydia. That was a plot twist at the end there. That's not a great present. Someone else said, My uncle got me a taxidermy dove for my ninth birthday.

Really? That's so bad. Were you into doves or taxidermy? That's so bad. Someone else said, my husband received his recently deceased grandfather's used disposable razor as a Christmas gift

from his grandmother, complete with hair and all. Disposable razor? That's, yeah. Maybe grandma thought it was one, like an heirloom thing where you change out the blades.

Yeah, like a vintage one would be like understandable. That'd be fine when you put fresh blades in it. Yeah. And we got her. Mama Di, hi. Hi, guys.

Hi, Clint. Hi, you're live on the radio. You're live, Mum. Hey, I was just telling Clint about how your favourite present you've ever got from Big Steve is the broom. Don't even bring that up. That's such, it's not, I'm not over it. You know, 25 years later, I'm not over it. You know, 25 years later, I'm not over it.

It's not good. Remember, he put a bow on it and everything, though. I know, and that was the broom. Where is the broom now? Halfway up Steve's arse. Halfway? No, mate, it ended up in the tip, like, as soon as I was there. I'm trying to wrap my head around this,

because you're married to a smart man. How did he try and justify the gift to you or even to himself? Like, how did he think the broom was a good gift idea? Because you know how you get these band Dangle things that are that much better and, you know, they sweep that much better and they pick up all the dust. That was a fancy broom. Oh, it was a new and improved broom. Well, supposedly.

But Jesus, I don't think that Christmas presents should be anything that you need. So, Mum, you're saying what if dad had got you, hypothetically, what if dad had got you a really fancy vacuum cleaner? No. And he did. That was two years ago. And I caught him out in the garage using it in the car. And then your brother was just as bad. They used it on everything. It's not good. That's a good public service announcement for the men of

New Zealand. Thank you for sharing that with us, Mum and Di. No, the men of New Zealand have to give their women something that they want, not need. Oh, there you go. Dad, I helped Dad get your Christmas present this year. It's a dustpan and brush. Brianna, I tell you what. What? I thought you wanted to, you know, complete the set.

It's not something you need. No. It's not what I want either. Okay, thank you, Mum for dying. Merry Christmas. Love you, guys. Love you. Love you, Mum.

Bye. My dad, honestly. What a moron. Oh, he's so dumb. Every year, every year, so my mum will be opening the gift from my dad. I'm sure this happens in a lot of families. Yeah. And she'll be opening it, and she opens it, and my dad goes,

well, what did I get you? Because we have organised it every year after that. And every year she goes, better not be a bloody broom. Mate. He will never live it down. He'll never, ever live it down. Brie and Clint. The best bits.

Brie, how would you describe your diet, like your average diet, how you eat? A lot of dairy. Aren't you lactose intolerant? Yes. Yeah, right. Okay. Correct. Well, look, scientists believe the key to a healthy diet,

not to say that dairy is unhealthy, but everything in moderation, right? They said a healthy diet in an adult may be down to whether your mum ate carrots or not when you were in the womb. I mean, what is the science behind this, Clint? Is there any science? There is some science. Look, I'm not standing behind this study, but there is science behind it. They said the researchers at Durham University's fetal and neonatal research lab took 4D ultrasound

scans of 100 pregnant women to see how the unborn babies responded after being exposed to flavours from foods that the mum ate. So it's a real-time 3D scan of the baby's face as the mum eats different foods. So you're telling me my lack of self-control when it comes to food is because of my mum. Could well be. Fetuses exposed to carrot showed a laughter face and baby's fetuses exposed to kale showed a cry face.

Yeah, well, that's understandable, isn't it? Nobody likes kale, not even fetuses. The fetus is like, oh, maybe if you put it in the oven for a while and then covered it in olive oil and chilli flakes, it would have been nice. But otherwise, yucky kale. Yuck. Yeah, yuck.

I thought we could get your mum on the phone this afternoon and find out. Here we go. Maybe she did eat plenty of carrots while you were in the womb. Maybe your bad diet is all down to you. We don't know until we ask her, right? I called BS. I said she doesn't like carrots. That's what I think and let's ask her right now.

Oh, she's here right now. Good afternoon, Mama Di. Hi, Mum. Hi, guys. How are you going? We're good. Bree's got a question for you. Good, thank you. Look, Mum, simple question. Simple question. How many carrots did you eat when you were pregnant with me? I'm going to say you ate none. Oh, no, I would have eaten an average amount, but not over the top.

What's an average? I knew it. No, no, what's an average amount of carrots? Oh, you know, maybe a couple of serves a week, I suppose. A couple of... I don't know. Right, okay. A couple of times a week.

That's quite a lot of carrots. I don't remember the last time I ate a carrot. So anything more than one a week, I feel like it's quite a few carrots. Wouldn't you agree, Brie? So why is that, guys? I would agree. I'd say a couple of times a week is quite a hefty carrot amount, I would say. It's because the study, Mama Di, says if the mum ate carrots while the baby was in the womb,

it means the adult child is more likely to have a healthier diet. So we're just trying to... Oh, you know what I did eat a lot of, and it was every day, was lemons. Lemons? Lemons. Right. What is that? Yeah, lemons, and I actually ate the flesh of the lemon as well,

and I still do it now. What, the skin of the lemon? No, the insides of the lemon. Oh, okay, right. I think you're eating a lemon whole. Mum, what about hard cheeses? Did you eat a lot of cheese? Because I just am drawn to it. I know, I did eat a lot of dairy. Unfortunately, Brianna, we know your situation with dairy.

We don't travel with you too far and we make sure you're not eating it before we get on the plane. Right, so I think we've, in case closed, my mum didn't eat all that many carrots and she's the reason for Spittybum. What about, oh, yuck, brave. What about Uber Eats? Did you eat a lot of Uber Eats in

1989, Mumma Di? Was that a big part of your diet? Or Brie was in the womb? No. That must just be my fault. No explanation for that one then, Brie. That one remains a mystery. Brie and Clint. Best Bits. Interesting study I found, Clint,

where they surveyed people and asked them if they knew what the word woke meant. Oh. So all different ages, all different walks of life, and they just asked them the simple question, do you know what the word woke means? To be woke. That person over there, they're very woke.

Yeah. I feel like the younger generation would know better than the older generation. But what are the stats like? So apparently only four in ten people couldn't identify the meaning of the word. Okay. So 60% of people know what woke means. Knew what it meant. But only 26% of those people describe themselves as being woke.

Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. So a lot of people knew what it meant, but not very many people describe themselves as that. Well, it kind of does have negative connotations these days too. It does a little bit, doesn't it? Even though it's not necessarily negative to be woke.

Yeah. You know? But it kind of has got that reputation now. I thought we could call our resident boomer on the show, my mum, and ask her if she knows what it means to be woke. Do you think she will know? No. Let's see.

Let me predict something. Oh, no, you go. Hello? Hello, mum. Hello. Mumma Di. Hello. How are you?

We're good, thanks, mum. Hey, how are you? Yeah, very well. I've just been out shopping and had my hair done. Oh, it's good to be retired, isn't it, Mum? Delightful. That sounds lovely. Own a bunch of investment properties.

Anyway. Hey, look, I don't want to get you offside. That is my inheritance. But, Mum, quick question for you, real simple one for you this afternoon. Do you know what it means if I were to say that person over there is very woke? No, not really, but I can have a guess. Yeah, have a guess. Yeah, go have a guess.

What does it mean to be woke? Yeah. I reckon means switched guess. Yeah, have a guess. Yeah, go have a guess. What do you think? What does it mean to be woke? Yeah. I reckon means switched on. Okay, can you elaborate? I reckon their knowledge is up there. Yeah. You know, like they know what's going on. I mean, pretty close.

So with that in mind, and if you consider that to be the definition of woke, are you woke, Mama Di? I reckon I'm a little bit woke. And I think that would be true as well. I think she's gone and bloody nailed it. And look, not to underestimate you, but I was about to put in a prediction that you were going to go, yeah, I'm awoke right now.

Yeah. I've been awoke since seven this morning. It means to be wide awake, doesn't it? To be woke. I got awoken by my husband snoring. Well, Mum and Di, you might be the wokest boomer in Australia. Nice work, Mum. I wasn't that switched on or woke that I could come up with that kind of joke.

Yeah, that's okay. Now she's using it in sentences. Just before we let you go, is your husband Big Steve, is he woke? He's more woke than me, I reckon. Oh, we don't like to talk about that. We just breeze over that in our family. Another opportunity I don't want to miss out on. And after two and a half years of this bloody COVID crap,

I am finally going back to Australia, hopefully. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. Don't get COVID. Don't get COVID. You know, let's not talk about that. But I've got flights booked to Australia for Easter. Yeah.

And I haven't been able to do that for two years. So this is massive for me. I'm super excited about it. Oh, my God. You're going to have two years' worth of Easter eggs waiting for you there. Well, that's a great question. Yeah. Because I was speaking to my mum.

Mumma died the other day on the phone. And she called me up and she says, I just need to know what Easter eggs you and your partner would like. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Because my mum is someone who still does the whole, you know, big thing. Even for you oldies. Yeah, even for the oldies. She gets up in the middle of the night and, you know, because.

Wait, she doesn't do a full Easter egg hunt, does she? No. I mean, she could step it up this year. Because, you know, obviously when you get older, the Easter Bunny doesn't come to you anymore because it's too busy dealing with all the little kids. So my mum has to step up to the plate. And yeah, so we're still getting Easter eggs this year. Is that something that happens in your family? Yeah, mum did an Easter egg delivery last year. Oh, nice. Yeah, Easter Bunny came for the girls and mum dropped me some eggs so I didn't feel left out. So you didn't feel left out.

Do you feel like this is a common thing for us adults? No, I think there's a cut-off point. What's the cut-off? Oh, my God, there's a cut-off? I think it's 30, but I don't know. I don't have adult children. Someone who does is your mother. Yes, and we've got her on the line right now to ask her.

Hello, Mama Di. Hi, guys. How are you going? Happy Easter when it's coming. Yep. How have you been? So can you tell us, Mama Di, as a parent, what age does the Easter Bunny stop coming and then you have to step in to provide the eggs for your older children? That's the first question. Never. Never. Oh, the Easter Bunny kids. Oh, right. Okay. Oh, it's just the bad kids.

That's why the Easter Bunny doesn't come. And when are you too old to receive Easter eggs? Well, never. Because I think until I can't shop, that's when it stops.

Oh, stop. You know, my mum, yeah, she gets up in the middle of the night and creeps into our room and hides Easter eggs in there. Really? Yeah.

Well, you're lucky you haven't run into the Easter bunny on your missions, Mumma Di. I know. I have occasionally, but it's never the Easter bunny. Oh. Okay. I think that is not a conversation for right now. No, I think, you know what I think, guys?

I think we all have to have, at whatever age, and particularly as you're getting older, we all have to have a bit of magic. And I think if a few chocolate Easter eggs or a little bit of something at the end of the bed for a surprise, I think it's not that hard to do, is it, really? Is that a pointed comment? Oh, that's really cute.

At the other Easter bunny in your house, Big Steve? When you say it's not that hard to do, is it? Really. Is that a pointed comment? Oh, that's really cute. At the other Easter Bunny in your house, Big Steve? When you say it's not that hard to do, are you hoping that your husband is listening? That's been long gone. Yeah, that train's long gone. Have you seen...

What he does with bunnies, we won't talk about, but... Yeah, my dad's been known to shoot at people. They're pests. We're on the land, Bunnies we won't talk about. Yeah, my dad's been known to shoot. No, okay. Wait, wait, wait. They're pissed. We're on the land, so we are, you know. We're on the land.

Not Easter bunnies, though. Not Easter bunnies, though. Not the Easter bunnies. Come on, guys. You need to clarify. Just the Easter bunnies cousins. No, I was going to say, have you guys seen that meme that's going around? There's this meme that I've seen a million times now,

and it's like, I know I'm an adult. I know I pay my own bills. I know I do all this stuff, but if my parents or the Easter Bunny don't give me Easter eggs this year, I'm going to lose my crap. So I feel like...

I think it's more vital at this time of all the times that we've had. It makes my whole Easter. So I feel like Bree has commandeered a nationwide radio station right now to drag her mother out into the open to ensure that she will be receiving chocolate eggs on Easter Sunday next weekend. Well, I'll tell you something. I went shopping this morning very early and I spent $300

and a third of that was whatever you want to imagine it was. God, I can't wait to come home. It's going to be a good time. I'm going to come back five kilos heavier, but I'm okay with that. Yeah, all right. Well, we're just not going to eat for a week, but that's okay. You're not getting anything other than chocolate. I literally on Easter Sunday, you should see me and my sister every Easter.

We look at each other and we're like, this is the one day of the year where we just eat chocolate. All right, well, have you used to... Well, what about... Oh, yeah. I just have to tell you one thing, what your father does every Easter. You give him a big, nice Easter egg, a proper shape.

I used to sneak in there a few days later or a week later to just, like, a little bit. Anyway, I'd sneak in there and put my hand in, and it's completely empty because he'd mould the alfoil perfectly in the shape of the egg. So he always thought he hadn't broken it, but he'd actually eaten it. It was just old foil with no egg inside it. He's a wizard. He's a master. He's a master.

He's a wizard, isn't he? He's a master. Happy Easter when you get to it, Mama Di. Play ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Feed by KFC. Get the full menu delivered to your door with the KFC app. Play ZM.