ZM's Bree & Clint - Best Of ZM's Bree & Clint – Stories

Episode Date: January 8, 2023

Bree & Clint love to talk about what's going on in their lives and sometimes it gets reeaaall personal. Talk a walk down memory lane with these anecdotes and life hacks.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Brain Fletch. The Bispets. Do I have a story for you guys this afternoon? Sure. These stories don't come up all that often and the last time one of these stories came up for me was when my one-year-old nephew found a big black dilly in the paddock. That's right.

Did he keep that? No, no, they didn't let him keep it. The batteries, it didn't have any batteries. Sometimes it's hard to get kids to give up a toy they're really fond of. And you might not have heard that story. So that, out of context, sounds very weird. Go to our Facebook page, you can see the video. What do they search on our Facebook page?

Big Black Dilly. It'll come up. There's another story that's come out of my family camp, which I need to share with you guys. Sure. Because this is brilliant. So my brother has a beautiful, lovely girlfriend who I adore. She's one of my favourite people in the whole world.

Her name's Kim, right? And she texts me over the holiday break. And this was maybe a week after Christmas, I think. And she texts me and she's like oh my god I need to tell you something she's like I can't tell many people this story but I need to tell you I feel like you'll understand and I was like okay hit me with it what's going on she's like okay so your brother and I we went back to your family's place your parents place for Christmas and she's like you know how we just eat everything when we're there?

Because Kim and I are very similar. We love to just, you know, we just eat everything. She's like, I was into everything. I was into the pastas. I was into the sweets. I had like three salamis. I was into everything. Three salamis?

She loves salami just like me. Right, okay. Anyway, so she was into all the food. She said, the next day, and this story might not be for everyone, but this is, you know, these things happen in life. She said, the next day I went to the bathroom and it was a number two and she noticed that there was some weird things about her stool. Yeah, well she had to drop three salamis. You know, so there were some weird things. She

said when she looked at it, it looked like a tapeworm. Oh. And she freaked out, right? Yeah. Freaked out. There was all these weird silk things that were in her perm, and she freaked out. She goes, oh, my God, I've got a tapeworm.

Right. Anyway, she goes, I need to go to the doctor right now. I love how you're the person she's turned to as well. Well, she knew I'd understand. I'd appreciate the story. Anyway, she said, I need to go to the doctor right now. I love how you're the person she's turned to as well. Well, she knew I'd understand. I'd appreciate the story. Anyway, she said, I need to go to the doctor straight away. And she grew up in Stanthorpe just like us, right? And so she's tried to get into a doctor at the last minute.

And being from a small country town, she said the only doctor, and this is no BS, that was available was her ex's dad. And she said, absolutely not. That's so uncomfortable. That's not happening. Well, well, well, he has sworn a Hippocratic oath that he won't tell anyone. I know that.

He's not going to go home to his son and go, you will not believe who came in with problems with their poo. And show me a picture of their poo. You wouldn't believe it. No, he's professional. But anyway. She decided she didn't want to do that. No, she had a, yeah, yeah. She decided she didn't want to do that. No, you've shared a dinner table with him.

Yeah, she didn't want to do that. She's cut her trip short. She's went back to where her and my brother live and she's booked in with a random doctor. Okay. Because she decided she doesn't want to see this doctor again after this because she took a picture of the poo to show to the doctor. She goes, I'm smart. I took a picture of the poo so the doctor could have a look at it and check.

Some people aren't smart. Some people take the whole poo. Yeah, well, she didn't do that. Thank God. Anyway, so the doctor's had a look at this picture and she's like, okay. She goes, look, it could be a tapeworm. It kind of does look like it. I'm going to put you on the medication now and then we're going to test your stool

and we'll see exactly what it is. Yeah. You know, great. She said, awesome. Sounds good to me. Anyway, she gets this call from the doctor a couple of days later. Yeah. She says, Kim, look, we've tested your poo.

Look, great news. Not a tapeworm. Good news. Great news, not a tapeworm. Good news. Great news, not a tapeworm. She said, but look, my advice in the future, you probably should be taking the casing off the salamis when you're eating it. Was it string?

It was the casing, the synthetic casing, and anyone who eats whole salamis knows this, that isn't edible. And she'd eaten so much of it. I was like, yeah, probably should cut back on the salamis. Thank God, thank God for random doctors, right? I know. The best beds of ZDM's Brie and Clint. Recently in life, Clint, and I like to be really honest on this show sometimes,

I've been struggling with focusing and just being overwhelmed and procrastinating and I get distracted really easily. And it's been affecting my life quite a lot. In what way? I just am so overwhelmed, and I feel like I just can never concentrate on one thing at a time. Okay. And it affects my life quite a lot, because then it makes me stressed, because then I haven't completed the tasks that I need to,

and then I forget things, and then I'm running late to something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm just all over the place at the moment. And one of my good friends said to me, Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm just all over the place at the moment. And one of my good friends said to me, she's like, oh, you should go see your GP and, you know, chat to them and maybe you should get tested for ADHD. Have you ever been tested? And I was like, no, I haven't been, but, you know,

good to go to your GP and have a chat with them and, you know, potentially maybe something you could get tested for. And so a couple of weeks ago I made an appointment to go see my GP and I put it in my diary because that's the only way I can remember things which I feel like is a lot of people. But if it's not in my diary, I will not remember.

No, no, no. Exactly. I'm the same. Mine is either the diary or set an alarm. I've got so many random alarms that go off at different times of the day. And then you forget what the alarm's for. Totally. Oh, I know. Because I label them.

Oh, right. See, I don't do that. I have to label the alarms. See, I forget to do that and then I just don't know what it's for. Yeah, right. Anyway, so I made this appointment. I forgot about it. Typical what's going on in my life at the moment.

And I remembered this morning at the last minute and I was like, oh, crap, I've got to go to this doctor's appointment. And so I got myself organised and I raced to the doctor. And I got there and I was like, hey, I'm here for my appointment. My doctor's name is this. And she's like, kind of looked at me weird. And then she's like, okay, yep, just go take a seat. And I went and sat down and I've kind of looked at the clock and I was like, she's running 10 minutes late, pretty normal.

15 minutes late. Half an hour goes by and all these other people that came later than me have gone in to see my doctor and I was like, what is going on? Like, what's happening here? And then the receptionist goes to me, she's like, what's your name again? And I was like, oh oh last name thomas l and she goes she goes are you sure you've got an appointment today and i was like yeah i got an email confirmation i've got an appointment today at this time and i opened my email and

i looked at it it's next week i was there a week early. For your appointment to try and find out why your life is so disorganised. Yeah, to find out all these things about myself and I was like, well, this is fitting, isn't it? I don't know enough about ADHD

and how it operates, but if that is like an indicator, couldn't you go, can you just give me the prescription? I feel like I've passed the test. You know? If this isn't you go, can you just give me the prescription? I feel like I've passed the test. You know? If this isn't proof enough. This isn't just like a now thing.

This isn't an all the time thing. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that story because it's quite, I like talking about stuff like this. Have you put it in your diary for next week? Oh, I forgot to do that. Yeah, I was going to say. I actually did. Have you moved the appointment to next week? It's still in for do that. Yeah, I was going to say. I actually did. Have you moved the appointment

to next week? It's still in for today. Yeah, there you go. You're welcome. The best bits. Oh my God. You know when you just get super excited about something?

I can tell you're excited about this. I'm so excited. You were sneaking around yesterday after the show. I imagine getting this thing organised. That's correct.

It's very covert. It is very covert. I've been working on this over the past three days or so. Okay. And there's something we need to talk about, Clint. There's a big thing that's happened for you and I in the past week or so. Right.

Can you think of anything important? Any, you know, I'm just giving you an opportunity here. Anything you want to say to me? Oh, it was our four-year anniversary. Correct. Of the show. Yeah, correct. Correct.

I did a special Instagram post. You did. You did. And when I saw that, it was really nice. And I was like, oh, that's so cute. And I couldn't believe it's been four years. Yeah, we got a cute photo on a rooftop bar having a cocktail. We did.

I put it in black and white because I look like a pink Savoy in that photo. I knew you did that. Anyway, I thought four years, time flies when you're having fun. We've been through a lot together and I need to do something special for you. It's our anniversary. It's four years, Clint. Are you going to give me another perm? No, because we've grown. We've moved past that. Thankfully.

Thankfully. And I thought this next piece of audio that I'm about to play you, we need beers, Claudia. Producer Claude, I know it's very early. It's 7.30 on a Wednesday. I'm about to have a coffee. Hey, it's five o'clock somewhere. It's our four. Five o'clock somewhere. Five in the morning. It's our four-year anniversary.

Those are twisties. And you'll see. You'll see why we need beers. Okay. So what I've done, Clint. At least it's cold, this beer. It is cold. Yeah.

Thank you, Producer Claude. Look, four years on air together together and we've done some amazing things and I've had just the most absolute best time. Yeah, me too. It's been really amazing and I'm so grateful that I get to do this with you and Producer Claude, Producer Ella, Producer Ben, I need to mention all of them, Producer Anastasia and Producer Ellie. We've been through a lot.

It's been an absolute ride and I wouldn't change anything. And I thought, how can I show, you know, how much I've loved it? How can I convey that to Clint? So what I did was I went onto this app called Fiverr. Okay. Which is a freelancing app. Yes, I know the one. You can get people to do like illustrations and stuff for you. Yes, I know the one. You can get people to do illustrations and stuff for you.

Yes, you can. And you can also get people to sing a song. Right. So I went on there. I found the best R&B singer I can find because I just thought R&B feels like the best genre of music to really capture this moment. Okay. And I found this R&B singer and what I did was is I've taken five minutes, I've spent five long minutes writing an anniversary song for you

and I, Clint, to celebrate four years together on air. So if you want to hit play and we can all just have a moment, reminisce, and here it is. This took me five minutes, by the way. Just keep that in mind. Here we go. Together we've conquered our fears But most of all we've downed multiple beers Yes, beers, how good are beers? The Vanu Tour, Friday, Yolk, Birthday, Bangor And yeah, we chased Tatum and L.A.

The hot mess express, that was the best But out of it all, I want nothing less But out of it all, I want nothing less So here I say thank you, for the last four years Let's raise our beers Yes, beers How good are beers How good are beers To the brilliant Clint Show I say cheers

To the last four years So let's raise our beers Yes, beers How good are beers That's amazing. It took me five minutes to write. And you paid that guy $5. No, it cost me about $130. But worth every penny, mate.

Here's to the last four years. Hey, cheers. Cheers. Cheers to everyone who's been listening the last four years. We love you guys. And it's been an absolute ride. Here's to another four. Yeah, bottoms up.

Chewy anybody? Chewy. I've had a very good Valentine's Day so far. Have you, Joss? Yes. I was very lucky that my two, is it two biannually? No, two. Biannual means twice a year.

Oh, I don't get them twice a year. So I get them once every two years? Once every two years. There's no cool way of saying it, is there? I think that might also be biannual. Biannual? Once every two years. Once every two years.

I was very lucky that it landed on Valentine's Day. I had to go in for my pap smear this morning. Oh, what a lucky girl. What a treat for me. Most action I've seen on Valentine's Day for a while. I was going to say, now I know it's not a comfortable experience, but some people would love some action down there on Valentine's Day. It was very exciting for me. But I have an amazing doctor. I really, really

like her and she's so lovely, but I haven't seen her. Is this the same doctor that asked to do your pap smear on Zoom? No, so that was the receptionist. The receptionist didn't know what appointment I was going in for and then my doctor wasn't there and she's like, do you want to do it over the phone? And I was like, it's a pap smear. Might be a bit hard to do over the phone. Anyway, I went in. I haven't seen my doctor for ages just because I haven't been for quite a long time.

Yeah. And she's always just so lovely and she's so good at doing the pap smears. Like she just makes you feel real comfortable. She's got a neck for it. Yeah, she's just got a neck for it, you know. She's done a few in her day, I think. And it was quite interesting because it's been so long since I've had one. I forgot the way she

approaches it. So obviously she likes to talk you through it as she's doing everything because it can be quite scary, especially for people that haven't been before. So she likes to tell you everything that she's doing. And I noticed at one point she was talking to my cervix. What? She was like, all right, cervix, it's you and me. Let's get this thing done. All righty. All right. A little bit of a pinch, a little bit of a scrapey, scrapey cervix. But then- How did your cervix like that? Loved it.

Right, okay. It likes being addressed. Because about time that she got some attention, you know. But it was at the point, I swear she was like kind of singing a song like during the whole process. And I'm pretty sure she was singing Islands in the Stream. Really? Yes. But I think

she was replacing Islands in the Stream with Cermex in the stream that is what we are. No one in between. How can we be wrong? It was actually a great experience for me. Really?

Yeah. I'm being legit. She does a pap smear remix of the Islands in the Stream song. I mean, how? All right, cervix. We're going to get through this together. It's only you and me here. We're going to get this done. Yeah.

The weird thing about that song, too, is it's a duet. So she's probably hoping that you would join in with her. Wouldn't that be weird? That would really put it back on her, wouldn't it? That would be a real exciting Valentine's Day. Okay, I said before I've got a very simple movement we can do to determine how healthy you and I both are. Before we do my movement, you want to know if we can touch our toes, right?

Yes. Should we do it together? Yeah. Give this a go. A little bit worrying if we can't do it, but we'll go down together. Why worrying? Three, two, one.

Hello, Daddy. Just kidding. Screw you. I knew you were going to do... You could do it, though. Yeah, I touched my toes. Could you actually? Yeah, I touched my toes. you were going to do. You could do it though. Yeah, I touched my toes. Could you actually?

Yeah, I touched my toes. No, I'm not doing it again. No, don't do it again. No, I did it. No, I want to make sure. I already did it. I want to make sure. I already did it. No, I want to make sure.

You do it first. I didn't see. You do it. We'll do it at the same time. Okay, you do it first. Three, two, one. So you weren't going to do it. You weren't going to do it.

Okay, so this is serious, okay? This is the real test. And let me just give you what's at stake. According to this new study, the inability to do this one simple movement in mid to later life is linked to a near doubling of the risk of death from any cause in the next 10 years.

Okay. So if you can't do this thing... This is going to be quite grim then if I can't do it. Yeah. doubling of the risk of death from any cause in the next 10 years. Okay. So if you can't do this thing. This is going to be quite grim then if I can't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. If you can't do this thing, you are twice as likely to die of anything in the next 10 years. This sounds very scientific, so I'm here to figure this out.

The thing is, stand on one leg for 10 seconds. Oh, jeez. I don't know. I don't know about that. I always get told by my chiropractor, he's like, not good balance. Not good. Oh, I reckon I could do this one, though. You reckon?

When I have to close my eyes, that's when I struggle. Yeah, well, we can keep our eyes open. Okay. That's fine. All right. I've got a 10-second timer. We'll do it together. All right.

Okay, where's my timer? Here it is. You ready? Okay, I'm ready. 10 seconds on one foot. I'll do it with you. uh okay where's my timer here it is you ready okay i'm ready 10 seconds on one foot i'll do it with you three two one go doing good i feel like i'm doing pretty well hey hey look over here yeah no i'm concentrating look over here look down here yeah look around here yeah hey well done us we We are healthy and wealthy. Now do it with your eyes closed. I'm telling you.

Do you know how hard it is? One leg with your eyes closed. One leg with your eyes closed. Okay. Okay, ready? Whoa! Got him again. I've got several complaints to lay after this right

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