ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 10th December 2024

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Clint has an apology to make, and we're arranging our team Secret Santa but you guys are the only one who know who we all got. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the after party. I wanted to start with an apology actually, which I meant to do yesterday.

For the whole year? Is it to me? It is to you. Good, tell me. When you very kindly offered to house sit for me, which we talked about yesterday, my idea was, it's obviously beneficial to us because someone looks after the cat, someone's in the house. Yeah. beneficial to us because someone looks after the cat someone's in the house yeah um but i did

envisage you and your fiancee having a relaxing um waitakere rangers retreat at our house you only had one full day at our house really you had two nights but one full day to enjoy and you had to go to work as well which obviously takes away from not relaxing but on the one day that you got to relax there you also had to deal with a builder at the house building a fence and the cleaner coming through and cleaning the whole house. I only saw the cleaner. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay. So that's fine. I mean, no, you're a bad man. Yeah, how dare you? It's kind of shit. You're just probably hiding in the back room while all these people are at the house. I hate when people are at the house when you're there. Yeah, no, it's kind of shit. You're just probably hiding in the back room while all these people are at the house. I hate when people are at the house when you're there.

No, it's fine. Okay. I take back your apology. Actually, yeah, we skipped over it, but I do want to admit, I wore your belt, and I hope you're okay with that. We talked about it yesterday. Where did you wear it? It was very brief.

Around her waist, I think. Yeah, I think that's where you wear a belt. It goes through the legs and you're short. She was thinking about wearing it around her neck But she decided to go with the waist A bit choky You obviously wore it to work In which belt? It was like a woven one

I would say it was like a wicker woven Was it Lucy's or yours? I'm so sorry Dark brown woven I said it was clipped. It definitely did not look like a Lucy belt. I felt wrong going into your wardrobe slash room. And I apologised out loud.

Did you dress up as me? No. I only put your undies on. Did you guys know, you won't know this because I haven't told you, I went to the bathroom earlier and found out I've been wearing my undies backwards all day today. I hate when that happens. Do you have the undies with the little hole? Nah.

The crossover? Is that on your butthole? Yeah. My pee-pee's been on my poo-poo the whole day. I mean, they're clean undies, so there's no risk of cross-contamination. Do men undies have a little part extra in the crotch like ours? Yeah, a little pouchy, yeah.

But these are my new skims, and they're very stretchy. Oh, sick. I didn't really feel anything. And also, my butt has stretched in a bigger pouch than my wanger ever could. Yeah, right. I don't even know. Yeah, right. Do you guys think this is gross?

My partner and I, we went to Pilates. That's disgusting. Together, yeah. Oh, shut the hell up. my partner and I, we went to Pilates together. Oh, shut the hell up. We went to Pilates and afterwards we were walking back through the gym and we saw off to the right we were like, what does that say?

It was like this room that we hadn't seen before at the gym and up the top it said relaxation room. A wank room. Calm down. Anyway, open the door. The idea of a relaxation room is funny at the gym. Because the gym is not relaxing.

Sorry, not relaxation, recovery room is what it was called. Recovery room. Anyway, I was like, what the hell is in the recovery room? I want to see what's in the recovery room. What do you think was in the recovery room at the gym? I go to not an expensive gym. I got it. Massage table.

Nah. Okay, massage table from Clint. Ella? Ice bath. Ella, don't say wank room. Shut up. Ice bath. Ice bath.

Claude? Wank room. Yeah! No, I've actually been to that gym, so I know what it is. Ah, there were some meditation chairs, which are like these pods, these pod chairs, and then you put these headphones on. And it vibrates? Yeah, or it does different things.

You can choose what it does. And then massage chairs. And Sophia goes to me, she's like, I'm going to get in the massage chair. And I said, do you realise the people that would have sat in that chair? We've seen people. I sat in that chair. Disgusting, sweaty.

Sweaty nuts have been in there. Anyway, we both sat in it and it was delightful. I was about to say, what a load of bullshit. Did you put your sweat towel down first? Nah. Disgusting. Did you give it a sanitise afterwards? Yes.

I'm so good at the gym. I always give it a sanitise afterwards? Yes. I am so good at the gym. I always give it a thorough clean, whatever I use. Did you do that thing where you left sweaty cheek imprints on the leather seat? Oh, I couldn't see that because, you know, I think it was a tan colour so you couldn't really see. I always leave butt cheek, like you can see where my butt crack is when I'm on the Pilates machine. You know those velvet chairs where you sit down and then you stand back up

and you're like, oh, I can see everything. Where the suede goes in a different direction. Yeah, yeah. Because I can see how big my ass is. And the rest. And the rest. And the rest. You know how on the show yesterday, changing topic completely,

we talked about- Careful, they'll tell you off for doing that. No, we just told you off for wank room. No, you told me off yesterday for bringing up a story about the dairy owner. No, we told you off for pretending that your story was associated with the topic. Why is this we? I'm not involved. I was really frustrated about that,

let me say. You were easily frustrated though. See how much that frustrates you? I'm going back to counselling. Aww, see what you did? Don't bring me up. If you bring me up, if you bring me up, if you bring me up at counselling, I want a fake name.

Claudia, what were you saying? I want a fake name! Can I talk now? Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, Ella, can Claudia talk? Oh, my God. I want to throw you in a hole.

You two are fighting like brother and sister lately, and you need to figure it out. We need some time out. You guys are actually triggering me and Bree as well. We need some time out. Send Ella to Nan's place. If you guys could sort it out between You guys are actually triggering me and Bree as well. We need some time out. Send Ella to Nan's place. If you guys could sort it out between yourselves. I'll happily leave.

While the mics are off. That'd be great. I'd be happy if she left. Okay. I will go and seek right now. Can I talk? Yep, your turn. No, I want to know what she's seeking.

A new job. Let the fucking lady talk. Call your ass. Let the fucking lady talk. This is for your benefit. Never call me a lady again. I do want to hear it. This is for everyone's benefit. Let the fucking lady talk. This is for your benefit. Never call me a lady again. I do want to hear it. This is for everyone's benefit.

Let the nice lady talk. You know, we talked yesterday about Secret Santa and whether we want to do a Secret Santa. Do you want to draw names right now? Yes. I was going to do this. Good idea. Redraw mine if I can.

Yeah, if you get your own name, we're going to redo it entirely. You just draw for us, okay? Okay. No, I can't say it out loud. You have to just draw silently. Oh, is it secret? I'm going to redo it. You just draw for us, okay? No, I can't say it out loud. You have to just draw silently. I'm going to go first. I don't like the secret bit. There's nothing in it for the listener.

Can we just know? No, it's a secret. How about I'll pick and then everyone not listening and I can say who I got, so the listener will know. That's really nice. Everyone pick. Pick one for me while you're there and don't look. Okay. That's really nice. Everyone pick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then we can all say Pick one for me while you're there and don't look at it. Pick one for me. Tell her to do Oh yeah, pick one for Brie. Ella, pick first.

Can I just check I don't have Clint? No. We had each other last year. It was nice. Mm-hmm. Okay, we've got one. We've got one.

Okay, everybody do this. Put your fingers in your ears and go except for Brie. Okay, Brie's done. We've got him. Okay, everybody do this. Put your fingers in your ears and go, except for Brie. Okay, Brie's done. I'm just going to take my headphones off and silent everything. Oh, shit. Anyone want a squirt? How do we know when Brie's done? Okay, she said it.

Are you done? Yeah. I can't tell. Okay, yeah, we're good. Okay, I'll put my headphones on. Okay, now take them off again and I'll do mine. Oh, shit. Okay, mine Brie do the noise thing Oh hold on

Wait is Clint now doing it Oh hold on Oh fuck I got Brie and it's hard Because she's good so that's really hard Okay cool yeah I've done it Good We'll just take these off

And I'll pull them out of the plug Yeah me too Yeah, I've done it. Good. Okay, he's done. Okay. We're going to take these off. Yep. Claude. And I'll pull them out of the plug. Yeah, me too. Claudia, go. I got Ella. Okay, I'm done. Okay, everyone close your ears.

Ella. Thank God. I got Claudia. Phew. Oh, I'm good. She's coming around here. Who's happy with who they got? I'm nervous about mine.

I'm happy. No, I'm unhappy. You got Clint. I'm the best one to get. You're the worst one to get. Why? Because you have so much stuff. And most of you.

You're impossible to buy for because you have so much stuff. And so of you. You're impossible to buy for because you have so much stuff. And so few interests. And so few interests. And if you want something, you buy it. Yeah. So there's no wiggle room. I'm the perfect man. There's no wiggle room.

You're the perfect man. Anyway, I didn't get you anyway, so it's fine. Hey, hey, hey. Full circle moment. I put a break in the show yesterday where we all got the chance to say what we wanted for Christmas. And when it got around to me, you all made stupid jokes about me and ridiculed me. Go on, say it now. And I didn't get a chance to say that I wanted what I wanted.

We tried after that break. We went for the comedic route, but we did try afterwards because we wanted to genuinely know. And I had an Ella-style sulk instead. So what did you want? A what had an Ella-style sulk instead. Yeah. So what did you want? A what? An Ella-style sulk. Not that I have you for Secret Santa, but if I did, what would your answer have been to that? This was me last year.

I would like... Penis. Penis. Wank room. Wank room. Two tickets to the wank room, please. And two titties. I would like a really good cocktail book.

Like a book that has cocktail recipes in it. Oh, okay. And it's a good coffee table book. It's a good coffee table book, yeah. I'd like to make cocktails. I would like socks and undies. Skims voucher? Yeah, no. Would you like them?. Skimmers voucher. Would you like them?

No, no vouchers. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? Have you come across to my side?

I haven't been spending one. Oh, you've come across to my side. I've still got my footwear voucher you guys got me for my birthday. I'll have it if you don't want it. I want it. I want it. Have I been right all along? Maybe.

And vouchers suck. Except for vouchers for places I go all the time. So my 10 vouchers still slap because I go there all the time. But I do end up spending it on bullshit like batteries and shit we need for the house.

And you never end up spending every last cent on it. I'm a father who cares and provides. Okay. That was good work. I love vouchers. We've got to go. Ella's got a psychology appointment or something. Actually, that's on Thursday next week work I love vouchers We're gonna go Ella's got a psychology appointment

Or something Actually that's on Thursday next week I'm gonna go I'm gonna go meet my dog sitter What's my fake name In therapy gonna be? Clint But like

Pressed close together And counted all the S But yeah So instead of The L and the I It looks like something else Yeah push them close together Yeah just squish them right in there

See you next Tuesday This looks like Cliff After party. G'day, Cliff. Duh. It's fine. I just need a break. Yeah, Cliff with the gammy leg.

I gave you a break last week. I'm back, bitch. Play ZM's Brand Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Play ZM.