ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 10th July 2023

Episode Date: July 9, 2023

On today's After Party - Clint is the designated family mechanic even though he has zero qualifications, and Bree has a vendetta against sports dresses.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Okay, I pull up. How about at the after party? Swag. It's pouring. Oh yes, harassing down where we are. Stop raining! Honest to God. I'm so over this weather.

No, I can't wait. Honest to God, I only bought one jacket this season, this winter. It's not waterproof. Are you only allowed to buy jackets at the start of a season? Well, I'm not buying it midway through a season. What a waste of time. But you buy a jacket every year. I'm not going to get the full season out of it, am I?

Well, you get next season out of it. Do you only wear stuff for one season? No, but if I buy something, I want to get the full use out of it. I learned my lesson when I avoided buying shorts each summer. I'm like, oh, I'm not shelling out money on new shorts. And then two-thirds of the way through summer, I'm like, man, I need some new shorts. So I buy them and I only get one month don't i don't understand that reason can i have your hand-me-down jackets like buying fruit and veg you would look like you were wearing your

father's clothing if you put my jacket on i assume the pockets would have money in them plus you've been gifted those jackets you haven't even bought hey excuse me you get gifted all your clothing when was the last time you actually bought something by yourself? Gifted one jacket, thank you very much. And all of a sudden I get... And the All Blacks jersey. All your clothes that you've gotten have been gifted. Hey, hey, hey, I've got an understanding with the All Blacks.

I collect my jerseys. I am a collector of All Blacks jerseys. It's a hobby. There's a game on Sunday morning, an All Blacks game, and I said to my daughter, Tui, I was like, you have an All Blacks jersey. We've got your little kid's one. She goes, I hate the All Blacks.

And I have 15. I said, would you like to get up with me and we could put our All Blacks jerseys on and watch the game and have some toast? And she goes, yeah. And I just put her to bed knowing full well that she would not do it. And then in the morning I was like, games on. Do you want to put your jersey on? No, I wear my pyjamas.

Do you want to watch the game? No. Okay. Should have been a netball fan. Netball's fun. Netball is fun. Netball's such a good watch, like that high-level competition netball. Just speed down the court.

Such a good watch. I don't look as good in a netball skirt as I do in an All Blacks jersey though. You can wear netball shorts. Isn't that a flaw in netball as far as the marketing and sports memorabilia side of things goes? Football, rugby, basketball, you'll buy the top and you'll wear it. Netball, the strip is a dress. Is it?

Yeah. And you're not going to buy the silver fern dress and wear it. Netball, the strip is a dress. Is it? Yeah. And you're not going to buy the silver fern dress and wear it to the game, are you? No. Ice hockey, you'll buy the jersey and you'll wear the jersey. Why don't they have a jersey? Yeah. Because it's women.

No, women's sport too. Like I'll buy a black ferns jersey or a football ferns jersey. I know, but a lot of female sports, they don't have an option to wear anything other than the dress or the skirt. What other female sports have to wear a dress? There's heaps. Field hockey, sometimes they wear dresses.

Oh, yeah, yeah. The beach volleyball bikini. The beach volleyball one's so ridiculous. Basketball, they used to wear dresses too. Some still do. Like the Aussie women's team. That's crazy. Had a...

A basketball dress? They had a basketball dress and then they went through a stage where they had a basketball like play suit almost. Like a zooty. Like jorts. Like a rowing zooty. That's too real though.

Weird. What kind of person's buying field hockey memorabilia there'd be some big field hockey people hey you want to go down to the field hockey game this weekend field hockey people are so hot can i just say they're they're underrated great like the women and the men both hot hot hot hot especially like the Aussie teams. I remember growing up, I was like, this is where all the hot athletes are, in the field hockey arena. Field hockey. You have to distinguish that it's not the ice hockey.

Yeah, field hockey. Field hockey scares the bejesus out of me. I would not want to play that sport. It looks so scary to me. I've played it. Field or ice? A lot of sticks. Field.

A lot of swinging sticks. Yeah, I played field hockey growing up and I got like, the ball is so hard, right to the eyebrow. See, no. I played indoor hockey. That was quite fun. Indoor hockey? Yeah, and you play on a futsal or a basketball

court. Same thing. Oh, with a plastic ball. And you play, well, it was weird. We used to, when it started, we played with a plastic ball and then we moved to a plastic puck. Oh, yeah. It was so fun. It was so fun. And you just have plastic sticks.

It's a real good time. You burn some calories, though. I bet, yeah. You wouldn't want to fall over on that court. Sorry. Not on your skirt. Oh, yeah. Your fucking skirt.

Just communicating with my wife because our car's broken down. What happened? What a pain in the ass. Yeah, what happened? I don't know. Do you know enough about cars to be the guy on call? No, but I'll pretend that I do. When I get home, I'll pop the bonnet and I'll be like,

shit, there's an engine in here. You're like, oh, man, that looks broken. Yeah. You got a problem. You got a problem. Hand me the hammer. My dad is that person, can I say. Who knows enough to fix it.

My dad knows stuff about everything. There'd be times where I'd say, oh, dad, can you check my car over? And he'd change the oil for me and he'd check the other things. I'd go, yeah, you're good to go. He knows all that stuff. He knows how to fix it. He knows how to change a spark plug. He knows how to do all that.

Super handy. What's he up to? Because my wife's stuck. he's in australia like if i needed like my partner and i were talking about how we're talking about maybe getting rid of this like ugly hedge and then like having a fence put in and i was like we should invite my dad over and yeah make it give him free accommodation he could literally just go yeah i'll build'll build the fence. He would love it too. He would love it. He would be in his element. Yeah.

Yeah. And you can pretend that you wanted to hang out with him. No, it'd be nice. But yeah, no, he would love it. He just needs to be doing something. Needs to figure shit out. Feel useful. Feel useful.

It's a big part of it. You want to feel useful. Yeah. Yeah. He's very handy. Well, I feel useless at the moment. I feel about as useful As a chocolate teapot Oh yeah

That would melt Chocolate Oh yeah It would melt It'd be yummy though It'd be delish Yeah Guys I've been making

My own homemade croissants What the All you do Say the name of it again Homemade croissants Oh yeah nice Croissant I thought you said

Cousins No croissants All you do is You buy the puff pastry, and then you cut it in half, and then you just put some Nutella on it and then fold it over and pop it in the oven. Oh, that's more of a pain au chocolat, isn't it? Oh, is it not the same thing? It's a chocolate croissant.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The biggest fight I ever had with my best friend was whether a chocolate croissant is a real thing. She's like, no, it's a pain au chocolat. And I'm like, in New Zealand we call it a chocolate croissant. It's the same thing. It whether a chocolate croissant is a real thing. She's like, no, it's a pain au chocolat. And I'm like, in New Zealand, we call it a chocolate croissant.

It's the same thing. It's a chocolate croissant. I also think that technically a pain au chocolat is slightly different to a chocolate croissant. Don't get me started. Why?

How? Please don't. How? I don't want to live through this again. How is it different? I think the pastry might be glazed. Oh, what a load of bullshit. It's literally just the shape.

Is it? Yeah. It's just the shape. Just the shape. Yeah, the... Same dough, different shape. One is like a rectangle, eh? One of them's a crescent, like a croissant.

Very portable a chocolate croissant, I'll just say. Portable? It wouldn't be hard to bring in a few... Yeah, you could probably like put some in a box. ...to say to your workplace. Wonderful breakfast food. Yeah. I mean, you know what's really underrated

Have you guys ever had The Chocolate croissant from No Neither I haven't tried it No I bought in cheesecake last week

And someone else's too Oh where's my dough Fuck's sake I want some dough Have you guys ever had The almond croissant From Daily Bread Holy shit

It's unreal Is it I've never tried that That sounds affordable too It's unreal. I've never tried that. That's on the portable too. It's one of the... Why can't you get on Ross's back? We asked him for McDonald's last week to say thank you for filling in for breakfast.

He didn't even say no. We asked him to thank us. And he texts back. He just texts back, that's weird. Can't it be nice if he just got up one morning and thought, I'm going to thank these guys. I'm going to thank those guys with a bacon and egg McMuffin. Literally all it would take.

Literally just all it would take. Fuck, how appreciative. And you know what? Every day he doesn't bring it, it goes up. It's no longer a bacon and egg McMuffin. It's a sausage bacon egg. No, no, no. It's now a pan au chocolat.

No, it's now a pan au chocolat. And if he doesn't bring it tomorrow, then it goes up to an almond croissant. Those things are expensive. Next day it's a full frittata. And then if nothing by Thursday, we get a full on bar tap. Oh yeah. Not bad. For 9am on Thursday.

I'm sure. Because there's nothing more that I want to do at 9am than get on the pizzo. I've been thinking a lot about day drinking recently. And isn't it funny that if you add juice to it, it's fine? Like if you had a glass of champagne at breakfast time, they'd be like, alcoholic. But if you had orange juice with champagne in it, aka, what's that called? Mimosa. Oh yeah, mimosa.

Classy. Care free. Very refined. Live your best life. If I asked for a shot of vodka with my breakfast, alcoholic. If I asked for a Bloody Mary with tomato juice in it and celery and Tabasco. Bloody Marys are disgusting. Still mild alcoholic vibes, but a little bit more.

Not as much. I feel like one of the only exceptions to that rule would be a screwdriver. The berries are disgusting. Still mild alcoholic vibes, but a little bit more. Not as much. I feel like one of the only exceptions to that rule would be a screwdriver. Vodka and orange juice. You'd be like, hmm. Yeah, see? See, you can have the vodka and you can have the orange, but not together. Yeah, because vodka's hard liquor.

Yeah, that's not a money drink. I think that's the difference. Also, an alcoholic can sneak vodka into their orange juice. I think that's the issue So everyone's having orange juice And you're like put fucking vodka in mine Bit of vodka Yeah Yeah bit of vodka

Yeah I like to start my day With the old classic Malibu and pineapple I'm more of a Midori lemonade kind of girl Oh yep Get out the Midori I stole a bottle of Midori from my parents liquor cabinet Did you? Yeah when I was little And they were like oh we're devastated We Get out the Midori. I stole a bottle of Midori from my parents' liquor cabinet. Did you? Yeah, when I was little.

And they were like, oh, we're devastated. We really wanted that Midori. My mum was obsessed with Midori. Can you just imagine? To when? She was like, oh, a bit of Midori with my dinner. And I stole this bottle of Midori and took it to this party when I was 16. I was in so much trouble.

I was so sick. Midori. Midori. Don't so sick. Miduri. Miduri. Don't mind if I miduri. And because my parents like hardly ever drank, I'm pretty sure it was like three years old, this bottle. So it was like not very good. Our parents were the same.

They had one bottle of spirits in the whole house. It was Contro. And it was from. Oh, yes. Orange flavor. Yeah. And it was from their wedding. Yeah.

That sounds about the same as my parents. Don't tell me you stole it. No, my brother siphoned it out and drank it, and it was like World War III. But I kind of get where it was coming from. They were like, you had 20 years. You didn't fucking drink it. Had it been opened?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, that's fine. If it was like, you know, a keepsake, they hadn't opened it, I'd be like, oh, that's a bit rough. Yeah. Should we open the wedding contrail?

All right, let's go. I've got to go home and chainsaw my wife's motor of her car. Oh, don't talk dirty to her. Tell us in more detail, Nick. Let's go.