ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 11th July 2023

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Content warning. Today's After Party is all about sunning and shaving and personal areas, and loooong ass podcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Just a heads up, if there's kids listening, this podcast intro has some dirty content in it. Anyone else smell onions? My headphones reek of onions. Everything smells like onions. Everything in this room reeks of onion. Who? Why? What happened? What happened? What happened?

Why? Why does it smell like onions? Why? Why? You'll have to listen to the main podcast to find out why it smells like onions. Ooh, teas. Hook and teas. Hook, line and sink, baby.

Snag them. Teas. Teas. Oh, you're such a tea, see? When have you guys hooked, line and sink someone? I did it to my mum. What? I did it to my mum on the weekend.

What did you do to your mum? Hook, line and sink her. What does that mean? What's that mean? Okay, so you propose an idea and they're like, yeah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm not keen, right? And you're like, fine. Then you make them think it was their idea. You could do that. There's lots of paths the way I did it.

Hey, Mum, I want to watch Harry Potter. No! Nah, nah, nah, nah. Anyway, she's like, on neon. Wait, you? Your mum sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West. So you're 22 and you're asking your mum permission to watch Harry Potter? No, but we wanted to watch. You need to move out. I wanted to watch a movie with her. I came over to watch it with? No, but we wanted to watch... You need to move out. I wanted to watch a movie with her.

I came over to watch it with her. You suggested Harry Potter. Yeah, and so I put it on. Her complainings turn into, oh, I might grab a blanket. Oh, hook, line, and sink, baby. She's watching the movie. Harry Potter?

Yeah. Which one? Number one. I don't get it. I don't get it either. What? I hook, line, and sink it. I don't get it either. No. A hook, line and sinker. She didn't want to do it.

Stop trying to make a hook, line and sinker happen. It's not going to happen. It's not happening. It's not catchy. The more you say it like it's a normal thing, the less normal it sounds. I'm just going to eat my Cheerio Pops. It doesn't have good, what's it called? Tongue ability.

No. Roots? What's the word? Je ne sais quoi. No? Tongueability. No. Roots? What's the word? Je ne sais quoi. No. Feng shui. No. Come on, first person to get it.

Alliteration. Alliteration. Oh, that's boring. Doesn't have good alliteration. I mean, you don't have good alliteration. Horkine and Hinka, there you go. Yes, she does. Big booty brie.

Yeah, bitches. Cool. Big booty bitches. We want big booty bitches. Cool, calm bitches Cool Big booty bitches We want big booty bitches Cool calm Clint Big booty bitches Is that how you think of me? Cool and calm

That got us confused The opposite Oh yeah you're cool calm Claude Cool calm Claude You're confident Courageous Can't say that word Clint

Cold cummy Clint, cummy Clint. Cold, clammy Clint. Oh, that's good. That's good. I do think of Clint as a bit clammy. Elephant ears Ella. Oh, she's got nice ears. I have lovely ears.

You've got lovely ears. That's all he is. Look at my cute ears. They're just so cute. Oh, so cute. Itty bitty. You're just trying to throw stones. Yesterday, after the show, I had a long drive to do and I did some podcasting. It is. They're just so cute. Oh, so cute. Itty bitty. You're just trying to throw stones.

Yesterday, after the show, I had a long drive to do and I did some podcasting. Did you know there are people out there doing three-hour podcasts? Wow. Is that Joe Rogan? Joe Rogan's podcasts are pretty long. I listened to a Rogan. It was two hours and 50 minutes. That's a red flag.

He doesn't do them every day. It's once a week. A three-hour podcast is a red flag? Listening to a Rogan. That is so long. Yeah, I agree. That's a red flag. Listening to a Rogan. That is so long. Yeah, I agree. That's a red flag. That's a red flag? Red flag.

Okay. Knowing what we know now. What do we know now? That he's a bit of a... Who? Bit of a Clint. Bit of a Clint? Oh, I just don't care.

I'm not a fan, but I'll listen to it. Wait, who is his name? Joe Rogan. It's the biggest podcast in the world. Yeah, I've heard of it. Yeah, who's his name? Joe Rogan. It's the biggest podcast in the world. Yeah, I've heard of it. Yeah, that worries me, eh? Yeah. Well, people are very, yeah.

No, no, no. Is that the same guy? No, that's not the same guy. Fairfactor, yeah, it is. Is it? Yeah. But he's got hair in Fairfactor. Yeah, he does.

Yeah. What was he famous for before Fairfactor? I always get those two mixed up. Stand-up comedian. I always get Dana White and Joe Rogan mixed up. Oh, yeah. Well, they're both a big part of the UFC. comedian. I always get Dana White and Joe Rogan mixed up. Oh, yeah. Well, they're both a big part of the UFC. Yeah.

I look at them as the same person. One's a bit older than the other one. Don't peg me as a Rogan-er, by the way. I've never listened to that podcast before, but. Oh, now Clint's worried. Now Clint's worried. He's like, I don't want to be associated with that psycho babble. I have an issue with people cancelling things for the sake of cancelling them.

It's like Neil Young was like, I'm taking my music off spotify unless you take joe rogan off spotify yeah and then not your fight neil spotify like uh okay um so neil young's never going back on spotify because they're not going to take the podcast down yeah neil neil should have realized his worth ellis pulled up his wikipedia and the photo they chose is so ugly. Guys, everyone on this podcast needs to search it up. It's like a boomer selfie of an egg. I'm kidding. He's very rude. Yeah, when he went bald, Dana White and him

morphed into the same person. This podcast I listen to, he is on that carnivore diet. Yeah, just the meat. Remember there was a guy that worked here that was on that diet? He has steak and bacon for breakfast. He has ranch. Steak and eggs for lunch worked here that was on that diet? He has steak and bacon for breakfast. He has ranch. Steak and eggs for lunch and dinner.

Are his arteries okay? That's disgusting. Yeah, he reckons he's crushing it. I'm not promoting Rogan science, by the way. I'm not pro or anti Joe Rogan. Isn't this the same person that said you should dip yourself in cow dip if you want to avoid COVID? He speculated on the merits of ivermectin for COVID, which is horse drench.

What a load of bullshit. Oh my god. Yeah, that's when everyone, I think that was the turning point where everyone went. That was the bit. Yeah, and everyone went, is he alright? Yeah. Well, there's a lot of wild shit that went down during COVID, wasn't there? Yeah, there was. Man, don't listen to our podcast from COVID.

We would talk... They're fucking shit. Yeah. Some of the stuff we were promoting in there... That would have been hard. Such, like, yeah, real crazy shit. Like, what was the worst? Probably, like... Butt stuff. We did a lot of butt stuff. Are you naked?

We were promoting, which I still stand by to this day, perennium sunbathing. Yeah, perineum sunning. Gooch sunning. Oh, oh. Still stand by that. I think it's good for your soul.

There is science that says that it is good for you. No, I'm being serious. I reckon. Oh, you reckon it is. Oh, I mean, is it a load of hullabaloo? I don't know. Can't hurt, right? No, it can hurt.

It's a very sensitive area. Yeah. You can get very sunburnt. You can put your neck out. How far in between, like for a woman, how many centimetres is our perineum? What? Yeah, good question. You know, like is our perineum smaller than your guy's gooch?

I'd argue. Yeah? That yours is. I hate this. Well, ours goes goes all the way. You can argue our printer runs along the back of the balls. I reckon. True.

No, see, the testes or the, no, wait, what was it? I learnt this. I learnt this. The. Ball sack? No. Yeah, well, what's the ball sack's real name? Scrotum.

The scrotum doesn't count because that is the scrotum, technically. Okay. So it has to be at the end of the scrotum. Okay. I would argue that- I'd have to go down there and check. I would argue that females have a shorter perennium because we have more down there. I think you definitely have a shorter one.

Yeah, I think we have a shorter one. Less room. There's a lot more going on down there. Is there a lot more going on down there? I don't know. No, I just think there's less one. Yeah, I think we have a shorter one. Is there a lot more going on down there? I don't know. No, I just think there's less room. Because I think we have, you know, just... Well, you're doing veg

sunning too if you're doing perineum sunning as a lady, aren't you? Yeah, that's true. Question, mainly for, and anyone, any of our male listeners that listen to this podcast, question for you, and Clint, you might be able to answer this. Do you use the same trimmer for your beard as you do your ball hair? Stop asking me this question once a year, every year.

Well, when you answer it, I'll stop asking. Yes. You don't actually. Yeah, I do. What am I going to own two trimmers? Wait, you shave your face and then you shave your ball area with the same device. Yeah, it's just here. Yeah, it's just here.

I clip in my whole body with it and then my face. No, you clip in your whole body with the ball sack hair trimmer, but not your face. I have a sanitizing spray. Not your face. I have a sanitizing spray. I don't care how much sanitizing spray. Yeah, I do. It's a sanitizing slash lubricating spray for the blades.

Do you put that sanitising spray on the towel as well that you cut your ball hair into? Yeah, I do, yeah. You know Clint used to do that and then we called him out about it on the show? Oh, this podcast is getting so boring. We're talking about the same shit. Stop talking about the way I trim my downstairs. Nah, people love this chat.

People love this chat. Do they? Honestly, lads, if you're listening, like, get two trimmers. Treat yourself to two trimmers. One for your ball sack, one for your face. Or just practice self-love and know that every part of you is beautiful. What if, what if, technically, technically, if you contracted crabs, right? No, technically, if you contracted crabs and you shaved your ball area and then you shaved your face, you could get crabs on your face, eh?

Yeah, you could. You could, eh? You're imagining a person going directly from balls to face. Yeah. That doesn't happen. Doesn't happen. It doesn't happen? No.

Like, ever? No. No. What am I in there doing? My balls going zzzz one for you? I call ball sack on that. No. Like ever? No. No. What am I in there doing my balls going zzzz one for you? I call ball sack on that. No. I call ball sack. I think you're overestimating how often I trim my downstairs too.

I'm not saying you do it, but you're saying that no man ever goes balls to face. I don't know. Mate, 100% they do. Yeah, well. Us as human beings, we're disgusting. I feel attacked. I'm not saying it was you. It could have been you.

I feel attacked. I feel like Clint in his younger years probably. But then when he met his wife Lucy, she wouldn't stand for that. She set his balls straight. Is this what people want on the after party? I think so. Is this the hot topic of the day? Yeah, because you know what I think people want on this

is stuff that we can't talk about on the show. Okay, yeah, all right. And this we wouldn't talk about on the show. No, fair enough, fair enough. We would never talk about this on the show. No. No, no. I don't think so.

I thought you have. No, not in this much detail. No, you haven't said the word gooch this many times. No. How great is the word gooch? Is that the technical name for the male? Because perennium is the technical name for the female part. Yeah, gooch this many times. No. How great is the word gooch? Is that the technical name for the male? Because perineum is the technical name for the female part. Yeah, gooch is the slang.

But what's the real one? Perineum. So they're both perineums? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, 99% sure. What is the real? Hold on.

I've got to Google this now. The young boy at Wi-Fi. Yeah. All right. So what should I Google? What is the? Male term for perineum. Term-Fi. Yeah. So what should I Google? What is the male term for perineum? Term for perineum.

You know what that reminds me of? That song. Yeah. Lady Hawk, my perineum. I'm playing with your perineum. Is that actually the word? Yeah, it is.

Oh, yeah, it is. Claudia. Sorry. I was trying to guide her in this world, you know. Yeah, she's nice. Claudia's a nice friend. You're playing with my perennium.

Delirium. You idiot. In human anatomy, the perennium, also called the taint, the grundle, or the gooch, is generally defined as the surface region in both males and females between the pubic symphysis and the coccyx. Yeah, okay. What website are you on? That is coming from Wikidoc, perennium at wikidoc.org.

That's my email address. Is it? God, I knew someone had got it before me. No one's ever referred to it as a grundle. Grundle sounds disgusting. Wait, I'm going to wait now. I'm going to sun ever referred to it as a grundle. Grundle sounds disgusting. Wait, I'm going to wait now. I'm going to sun my grundle. Wait, wait, wait.

Perennium Urban Dictionary. Oh, no. Does it give you the other terms? Surely. Urban Dictionary. Grundle sounds like dirty underwear. That's the energy it gives me. Oh, my God.

You know what's just come up on Urban Dictionary? Pernani? Do you remember that word? Pernani. No, this is Pernani. Apparently a female's vagina. Pernani. I remember Pernani.

Yeah. Oh, my Pernani. Puntang. Puntang. Puntang. Oh, far out. Oh, it doesn't come up. How do I?

Perennium. Shall I share some Joe Rogan science on this podcast? Is that what's going to put us over the top? Is that what our podcast is missing for numbers? I think that's the last thing we need. I've got some. If you're in a hurry and you really need to trim your pubes fast, what you do is you get a lighter and a can of fly spray,

and you go, get the flame going. That is not a good idea. Run it past your bush really fast. What are we talking about? Run it past. Oh, my God. Run it past. Freaking stink.

Also, bonus, if you do have crabs, the fly spray will take care of that. I don't think so. I think you need to go to the doctor if you've got crabs. You're a bit so precious, You can't be doing that. Guys, no one argues with Joe Rogan when he says it on his podcast. Okay? The guests just nod and agree and they say, thank you for having me, Mr. Rogan.

Do you think there'll ever be a time where we miss our pubic hair? Yes. Will they come back in fashion? Yes. Well, I'm fucked then. Did you zap it away? It's gone. Oh, gosh.

Forever. You could get a merkin. What's a merkin? I'm not going. Did you zap it away? It's gone. Oh, gosh. Forever. You could get a merkin. What's a merkin? I'm not going to wear a merkin. I'm not going to wear a wig on my vagina. You could get a merkin. You could. I really want to get my legs lasered.

We're going to do a warning at the start of this after party. Why? It's graphic. It's just body parts. It's graphic. We're not talking about anything sexual. Somebody said fly spray your groin with a flamethrower. That's fine.

I hate this. There's nothing sexual. Human body is a normal thing. I was going to ask you a question, but I don't want to spoil the actual show. What were you thinking of? Make sure you eat cereal while you ask the question. A lot of eating on this podcast. What were you thinking of when you were...

In that moment. In the moment of what people will listen to soon. The time I copped a knee to the vagina. Why? I was trying to tear from the vagina, Chad. No one knows. That's a tease of the podcast. No one knows what that is yet.

Yeah. What's happening? He bruised. Have you guys- Brie cried on the podcast. It didn't even happen on the show. It happened after the show. Did it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Can you grab that off air, Claude? Yeah, I can throw it in. Yeah, nice. Thanks, Claude. Do you guys have any impulsive thoughts? I have impulsive thoughts all the time.

Intrusive thoughts? Oh, that one. Nah, different. Oh, what's an impulsive thought? An impulsive thought. That's when you think about the Spice Girls deodorant from the 90s. Ha ha. That's when you just have a stupid random thought.

I remember when I had an impulsive thought to go and kick all those boxes that were in the corner. That was an intrusive thought, wasn't it? Oh, that's an impulsive thought. Because that's like impulsive. An intrusive thought is where it's like a negative. Oh, okay. Like a negative intrusive thought in your brain. Push someone over. That's a bit intrusive. That's a bit, yeah.

Now I just want to push Clint over. I don't reckon you can. He's got a low centre of gravity. You can't get him. It's my big perineum. Don't say that! Yeah, it's got to be a push. It's got to be a push Okay Gotta be a push

Ready? Yeah I wouldn't run at me Alright, Claude, stand up Pretty happy with it So was I, to be honest Alright, let's get out of here I wanna go

I could keep going for three hours Call up Joe Rogan. He's got space on the podcast. Have a great day, everyone. We'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Bye. See you later, bitches.