ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 12th March 2024

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

It's the night before Bree's secret mission and she's feeling all kinds of emotions, and Producer Ella is trying out a new hobby to mixed reactions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hi everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast, where I thought I had someone I wanted to talk to you on the podcast. Nah, I think it's bigger than the podcast. I think it's main show content. Oh, alright. Those are fighting words. Yeah, alright.

I've done something. I've done something for the first time. But you never do anything. I never do fucking anything. No, I do, but I'm at the age where I do the same things. Oh, yeah.

You have your things. I do the things that I like. Busy. I don't want to risk doing a thing that I'm not going to enjoy because I get so few opportunities to do the things

that I'm just doing these things. Masturbate. Brianna. Well, fits the bill. Of what? Things that I do. Things that you do? Things that you don't get to do as much now that you've got a big family?

Stuff you want to talk about on the main show. It's big enough for the main show. Exactly. Nah, nah, nah. It's not like a social thing. But anyway. What is it? You can't just do that. You can't leave us all hanging now. I've written it down to talk about tomorrow. Now you have to bring something else to the table. Something you want to do.

Something I want to do. But I don't want to talk about it. It's a concept of the show. Are you going to do it? I don't want to talk about it. Are you going to rub it in my face? I don't want to talk about it anymore. Knowing that I want to do it.

Guys, don't worry. I've got the topic for the day. What's something that I want to do? Oh, okay. No, Brie. No, sorry. I'm just trying to figure out what day What's something that I want to do Oh okay No Brie No sorry I'm just trying to figure I'm trying to figure out

What Clem I'll bring to the podcast You muse on that Yeah In the weekend This is big news My grandma Is really good at writing poems

So I thought I'd learn How to write some poems And I wrote a poem with her About my cat ADHD strikes again Didn't you hear last... No, that's fine. No, no, no, no, no.

That's fine. She's trying out hobbies, guys. We just got the chat GBT to write it for Bree. I used it with my brain, though. Okay. You used it with my brain. No, no, sure. Okay, sorry.

Go on. Have you got it? Okay, let me bring it up. Oh, God, there's going to be shit. Do we need to know what your cat looks like for this? She's orange and ginger. Those cats are mental, eh? They're cool.

Oh, I love ginger cats. Yeah, people talk about ginger cat behaviour. And as my Nana says, I love a ginger pussy. Oh, okay. Who doesn't? Firebox. Ready? Ready?

It could seem to you very silly that I'm writing a poem about Billy. She's got four legs and a tail and her fur leaves a trail. She sits on my feet when I'm chilly. Do you want me to keep going? Okay. I've had her since I was 15. She was only the size of a bean. I love when the poet in the middle of the recital goes,

he goes, I want to keep going. Maybe that's part of the poem. Oh, yeah, sorry. Go again. From the top of this stanza, please. I've had her since I was 15. She was only the size of a bean. She knows how I feel.

A bond is so real and nothing can come in between. I know that one day she'll be leaving and that will be time for my grieving. A missus sweet purrs and a soft fluffy fur

but her life has given me meaning. In the meantime, we'll cherish the ride, this ginger cat close by my side. We had lots of fun. Oh, we both love the sun. We've had lots of fun. We make each other very happy inside.

We've made each other happy inside. Billy looked at this poem and sighed. Ella dear, I'm still quite alive. I've got plenty more years, so dry out your tears. And that's our silly Billy reply. Classic AABBA. Woo! Fuck, I hate poetry.

Nothing against you. Like, great. Was it good? Yeah, and you did fantastic. Thank you. Should we do slam poetry? No! I have two little girls

and so I read a lot of children's books at the moment that gave me big children's book vibes that would be so fun you should write a book I thought you were about to say

you've gotten really good at faking when you're telling someone wow wow that's amazing how'd you do that that's amazing

I feel like parents have to get really good at that Oh my god, incredible And they bring you their art and you've got to go Because you've got to encourage them in all aspects of their life And they bring it to them and they go Daddy, look! And you go, wow, it's amazing And then you've got to find a way of saying what is it without saying that

Explain it to me Tell me what you've done What's this colour? Nah, I just straight up give my nephew honesty hey well you gave me honesty with my heart yeah like i don't i don't want to you know brutal like i just shit i just want no not not that but just be like it's all right you could do better you know just a little bit of like honesty. That's fair. And I bounce back and I work on myself. I thought your poem was decent. I just don't like poetry.

That's fine. But I thought you did a good job. Okay. I'll take it. And maybe I go into writing children's books. That's fun. You could do the art for the book too. I could.

You could get your crayons out. And three, I'll dedicate it to you. Okay, great. Two in one, baby. Love that idea. Woohoo. I could. You could get your crayons out. And Brie, I'll dedicate it to you. Okay, great. Two in one, baby. Love that idea. I got something. I'm pretty sure my new house is haunted. You said that so casually. I shit myself last night. Not literally, but I shit my... Is that separate to the haunting? Yeah, no, no, not separate. So there was a light in the hallway that was flickering

and I just had this weird, like I got this weird vibe and it's an old house and I was like, that's weird. Do you need to do some incensing? Some smudging? Some saging. Saging. Some saging. And then we went to bed, which was like a few hours

after the light was flickering, and we hung a picture on the wall in the toilet on Saturday, and all of a sudden we heard this big crash, boom, bang. I was like, what the hell was that? And then we were looking around the house, couldn't find it. Anyway, the picture had fallen off the wall. Or was it pushed? Or was it

taken off the wall and slammed? Genuinely, if you found out that your house was haunted or something led you to genuinely believe it, what would you do? Get someone in to sage it. What if it was a friendly spirit? Have you seen mortgage rates at the moment?

Yeah, no one can afford to move out of the haunted house. Fuck, you'd lose money selling a haunted house. What if you just charge the ghost rent? That's true. That's an option. I can't use your ghost rent. You know I can't use your ghost rent. Space head.

Also, in other news, I think I've got long COVID. Oh, that's going to serve you well for the next thing you're about to go and do. Oh, fuck. Can I just say the last couple of days for me have been horrible. I always have like real talk and I think it's really affecting me. Like, because you know when you're like, I don't know if anyone's had long COVID, but it just feels like you have COVID. Like, and it goes, well. That's how I kind of feel

now. I just have a headache all the time. I feel foggy and tired. You've got to get on those Australian Sudafeds. Oh, mate, I used them all. They're so good. I feel like it was like drugs, actual drugs.

The pseudo-ephedrine cold and flu medicine that the gangs used to make meth flu medicine. Oh, I love cold and flu. That the gangs used to make meth out of. Oh, maybe not that one. No, that's the one that's the active ingredient. Literally. That's shit.

And I just, I feel like, oh god, I've been on a downward spiral the last couple of days. I feel like this happens to me every time I'm about to go away and do something. I feel like, one, I'm outside. You're outside of your comfort zone if you have to go and stay somewhere for a long period of time. Yeah. And.

Your stress levels are up. Your stress levels are up. Which means your immune system is down. Your immune system. And I'm already really tired. And I just doubt myself every time before I go away to something like this. And so I feel like I've just been on this, like, downward spiral the last couple of days.

You know what you need? What? Meditation. Oh, I wish I was someone that could meditate. You know what you need? You need to pay a person to teach you. Yeah, I really should invest in that, eh? You should write a poem.

And on that note, there once was a cat named Billy whose owner was a vegan named Ella. He loved to eat green beans and play with string beans, but tofu was his favorite fella. Was that AI? Chat GMT, yeah. Why did string beans come into it? No, because I said write a funny poem about Ella the vegan's ginger cat called Billy.

She's so cute. I love her. She smells so good as well. How old is she? This is not the juice. It's the juice. Put your face, if you guys have a cat who's listening here right now, put your face in your cat's belly. Pick it up.

The best thing in the world. My dog's paws last night smelled like popcorn What? That's fungus That's fun Yeah I know That's fungus, that's bacteria You need to get a little like an earwaxy thing

Clean it up I was saying to you guys off air that I was traumatised Because I cut my dog's toenails yesterday And I cut one too short And it bled and bled Oh don't say that No she will, she's already forgotten It's a dog. Got an elephant.

You'll be fine. She's already forgotten. She loves you too much. Fucking is traumatising. I know it's traumatising for her, but also for me. No, that is really sad. Not fun.

Because you don't intend to do that. I feel bad. Absolutely not. God, I still feel so horrible. It's like when you step on your pet in the kitchen because they're in the way and you accidentally trip over them. Awful feeling.

Oh, and I have to be away from my dogs and my partner for the next hour long. I feel guilty for leaving them all. But they support you and they love you and they'll be excited to have you back once you're done. You're going away to make that dog food money. Yeah, you are. Someone's got to bloody bring home the bacon. Bing bong.

Pay for all this bloody debt-wearing. Pay for your second-hand dishwasher. Oh, pay for the second-hand fucking dishwasher. Oh, yeah, join the podcast for that, chat. All right, we're going to go. Yeah, good idea. That was a lot of good juice. We've got feelings to get out.

Yeah. I'm going to go cry in the car on the commute to this next place. Bella's got another poem to write. I do. And I've got to masturbate. And I'll wait here until tomorrow. And Claudia, what are you doing? You tell me.

You have to go hang upside down in a dark room. How do you know? She's a bat. Bye, everybody. Bye. Bree's turn. Serenity. Hmm.

Meh. Right. Zidane's Brand Clint. Serenity. Meh!