ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 21st November 2023

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

There's a high probability that Clint left out the 'n' in his name on the radio... and Bree's lawn has a bit of a blockage.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Before we forget Ella, you've got to pull into that last break that we just did. There's a high probability that I said, I referred to myself as a clit on the radio. By accident. Yeah, sure. And we'll talk about him next. Brie and Clint. What did you just say?

By accident. Hey, you never find the clit by accident. No. You never stumble across the clit. It's always on purpose. Always. And if you think that you haven't found it on purpose, then you've never found it.

Speaking of innuendo... No, that wasn't innuendo. That was just straight up the middle. Flagrant, not fragrant. Jesus, no one likes a fragrant clit. Oh, my gosh. Please never say fragrant clit around me again. I didn't say flagrant.

No, please don't say that either. Stop saying it. Please don't say that either. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel very uncomfortable. We talked about on the other podcast today, you can hear about my Christmas dilemma, about my four-meter Christmas tree that I want to get.

And Bree said it was too big. And someone texted and I said, no, you need a big one. They said size does matter. Too big and it doesn't fit. Too much won't work. Whereas too little is no fun and doesn't give you any enjoyment to look at. I don't think they're talking about Christmas trees. I think they're talking about decks. About what. I think they're talking about dicks.

About what? I think they're talking about dicks. Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, I was doing a double joke. Do you get what they were doing there? Do you get what they were doing? Wait, was I just doing a double entendre? What's a double entendre?

Well, the text message is a double entendre. And then I was doing a double entendre, though, too. Because I wasn't being serious. About what? Like, I knew, I knew that obviously they- No, you were doing sarcasm. I was doing sarcasm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was close to a double entendre. What's irony? Well, I thought that'd be- No, that's not. Guys, do you want to hear about what's going on in my house at the moment? Yeah, yeah, you have something for us. We had a poonami in my house. Yes!

Who was it? You or the dogs? No. No, as in when I say poonami, we've been having plumbing issues in our house. Oh, yeah. And it's been going on for like a week. Like when you have a shower in the en suite, the toilet in the main bathroom, you can hear it and it'll be like bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

Oh, no, there's a blockage. Yeah, and then the shower will take ages to drain and then we check the shower drain and then we've poured Drano down all the drains. Nothing's worked and we're like, oh, shit, here we go. You haven't got your girlfriend to do it? She's pretty handy with this stuff. She is very. She's not in there with a plunger just like.

She was the one that was getting the Drano into all the But she couldn't figure it out So she has called in a plumber Who came in a couple End of last No When did he come? Oh yesterday He came over yesterday

And flushed out the pipes to see Yeah What was Anyway Toilet paper and poos from that morning. Out onto your back lawn, eh? Poonami on the back lawn. Yeah, yeah.

Like, it could have been worse. It wasn't a heap of shit, literally. But anyway, he's like. It could be shitty, though. He goes, yeah, there's a blockage. I'm going to need to come back and check. And we're like, oh, this is the last thing we need before Christmas. Like, got no money.

Anyway, I've just gotten word from my partner that apparently it's tree roots. Oh, growing through the pipes. Yeah, which we have released a sigh of relief because we were like, so she looks at me and I look at her and I go, have you been flush in Temple? Yeah. And then she's like.

In a two-lady household. And she's like, maybe. She's like, have you been? And I was like, maybe a couple. No, you guys can't do that. And then it thrusts me back into this memory that I'd pushed deep down in my brain from when I was in my early 20s. You gear up for this story.

So I'd moved into this townhouse. It was a brand-new townhouse. And you know how some like brand-new builds where they're building multiple, they just skip, they cut corners? Yeah. And some stuff's pretty cheap and they don't do the best job. Anyway, no offence. You guys know what I'm talking about.

I do, definitely. Anyway, I'd moved into this place on my own and I was young and I used to flush a shit ton of tampons down the toilet. Like, I didn't know better. I didn't know better. Anyway, in this townhouse, there was a toilet upstairs and then a toilet, like the powder room toilet. I love that you said you flushed a shitload of tampons, didn't you?

Like you were using an excessive amount of tampons as well? No, just like every tampon. Five at a time. Every tampon that I used, it would be flushed is what I'm saying. Whereas these days, it's hit and miss. Don't. You shouldn't do any. I get the flushable ones.

No, I don't. But I'm going to say that to save face. Are the flushable ones. No, I don't. But I'm going to say that to save face. Are there flushable ones? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, there's biodegradable ones. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you can flush them. They've still got a bit of string on them. Yeah, I mean, eventually that'll go away.

No, these ones are just you pop them up and then you have to fish them out. There's no string. Anyway, so when I was at this place and my parents owned it so when i was living there i tried to really look after the place but at one point the toilet like there was plumbing issues and started to have serious plumbing issues because the toilet overflowed at one point and then there was all kinds of issues going on and the neighbors were also having issues so it wasn't just me but anyway the plumbers have come over this is such a horrendous story so the plumbers have come over and they've done their checks and obviously put the camera through and had a look yeah and essentially what they said was is that the

builders who have made the townhouses have cut so many corners and one of the corners was you're not connected to the street one of no one one of the corners that they'd cut was that the piping was too thin like they would they they had used the wrong size piping or whatever it was the piping was too thin which meant they had to dig up the entire garage because that's where the piping went through, dig up the entire garage and then re-put the piping in. But before that, they were like, if you ladies want to go, because my mum was there because it was quite a big ordeal,

they were like, you go way down on the street, we're going to flush, try and get the blockage out and flush as much stuff out as we can. But the pipe is going to have to be changed. Anyway, my mum and I walked down onto the street and I was standing there knowing all well that I'd flushed a heap of tampons down this toilet. And I was like, oh, no.

Oh, no. I was like, please be two blocks for anything to come out. And my mum and I are standing here and we can hear the plumber because he was like, let me know if, you know, the water starts running out. Oh, for hell's sake. And this guy, so he obviously starts flushing it and blah, blah, blah, whatever.

Next minute. There's so many tear pods. minute. So many tear ponds. There's so many tear ponds are coming out. And the plumber, I'll never forget, my mum looks at me and I look at her and the plumber goes, is anything coming out? And without skipping a beat, my mum looks at me and goes, nothing yet. Just save my arse.

Bless her soul. She's such a good bitch, eh? Such a good bitch. I'd have thrown you under the bus, mate. Here's me just kicking tampons down the gutter. There's no one else that could have been it. No. It was just me. Just put it in the bin.

You're from a farm too. You should know how delicate those systems are. I learnt my lesson and now I only flush them occasionally. No Brie. Bins. Fuck you're so lucky it's a tree root today. Wait let me just Google biodegradable. You surely can get them.

Yeah, you can get them, but can you flush them? That's not the question of whether you can get them. Can you flush? No, I don't think you can. Menstrual hygiene products that are deemed biodegradable are designed to break down over a long period of time. In a waste treatment facility, even eco-friendly tampon brands can cause plumbing blockages

and pipe breaks. Sometimes, guess what? Sometimes I feel like whipping this thing out of my vagina and then wrapping it in toilet paper and then awkwardly carrying it to the bin in the kitchen. Put it in the bathroom bin. I know, but then I have to take it out every time because I feel weird about it. My dogs can get into that bin.

And then you go into the bathroom and there's blood everywhere. Christ. I didn't know nothing about this, by the way. My dogs get into those bins and like, not to be gross, but yeah, the dogs can smell. Then you've got a blockage. The dogs can smell. Then you've got a blockage exactly that's a blockage you do not want it's quite an ordeal i'll butt out i'll butt out okay no it's good to have these conversations because then you're learning i want to i want to mention something

for when your daughter you know you need to have these conversations with your daughters yeah i just want to bring up a really kind thing i did back in the day in high school. Here we go. Singing your own praises. I'm just such a kind person. At drama school, we were obviously all, like, doing a play. And in the changing room, someone must have, like, gotten changed and, like, left their on the floor. A used one. It was a pad, but yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Who's leaving used pads around the place? I think she had to rush off and she didn't see it. No excuse. I carefully, quickly picked it up and chucked it in the bin. I know, I know, but really kind of me. You're such a good bitch.

Because otherwise people might have made fun of it. You are a good bitch. That's not selfless. Someone would have gone into the cubicle after you and just assumed that it was yours. It was not in the toilet. It was in the changing room. Yeah.

The next person to come to the changing room would go, oh, Ella left her pad on the floor. Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't want that. Oh, no. Oh, you won't. You know what is one of the worst things? Because, I mean, I haven't worn a pad for a long, long time.

But you know what's one of the worst things about wearing a pad, especially when you're playing sport? Because I used to double. I used to pad and tampon. And then when you're playing sport. Because I used to double. I used to pad and tampon. And then when you're playing sport, and in sport, you know, like your teammates will pat you on the bum and be like, good job, good job.

And then if you're wearing a pad, it sounds like you're wearing a nappy. It does. It's like. Yes. It's the worst feeling in the world. I hate it. I used to play badly on purpose so no one would pat me on the bum. That's what I used to tell myself anyway. I don't keep my umbrella.

It's almost Christmas. We better get out of here. Yeah, I think we should go. I reckon that's enough. I reckon we hit our quota. Click it well. That's enough pad and tampon chat. I wasn't going to bring up more pad stuff, but yeah, I'm done.

I need to catch my bus. Tampon army. Rah! Anything yet? Nothing yet. Bye, everybody. Enjoy the other podcast. It's out too. We'll see you guys tomorrow.

Bye, guys. Bye-bye, babies. Play ZM's Brand Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Feed by KFC. Get the full menu delivered to your door with the KFC app. Play ZM.