ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 22nd November 2023

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Producer Claud has been keeping a secret from Bree and it's time to come clean.. but remember, Bree started it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Welcome to the After Party. I really need to go wheeze. Same. You go wheeze. Go wheeze then. We'll wait. Talk to ourselves.

I think you mean like here. Not in your pants. I've got a water bottle. It's got a big mouth on it too. That is yuck. Oh, last night in the Post Malone show. Let's be real. You can go wheeze in a Sprite bottle.

No, it's more about the aim. Yeah, right. And can I say I've tried to wheeze in a Sprite bottle? No. Was it pretty easy for you? No. Oh. No.

Oh. Well, actually, you did a lot of talk about. Did I get stuck? No. No. Got lost. Because you try and push the end of it up against the opening of the Sprite bottle so that it won't miss. Because no one's good enough aimed to get it into a Sprite bottle.

But the air displacement, when the pee goes in, the air's got to come out. But if you've created a seal, it gets pressurized. And so the pressure then just... So you just hover it then? Yeah, well, that would have been a good idea. Yeah. Just like hover it close. Sprayed all my wheeze back on me.

Yuck. There was, oh, last night at the Post Malone show in the mosh pit, there was these girls that started screaming at one point. I'd be like, whatever commotion I've turned around and some guy was pissing at their feet behind them. Isn't that disgusting? Yes, it is. You're a pig if you're doing that.

Yeah. Is he drunk? Must have been. Probably. He would have been. Get a Sprite bottle like a normal person. Just get anything. Or even people that weeing cups at festivals

and then put it on the ground. Yeah, because a lot of us go around and drink those half-drunk cups. Yeah, it's happened to me many times. There's actually a special announcement on the podcast today that I haven't told you about. What's the announcement? Claudia's going to make the announcement. I stole your swipe. Fuck you. You guys know

You guys know how stressed out it makes me And then you watch me walk around here Like a chicken with its head cut off Bree all day In our building you've got to use a swipe card to go to the toilet Swipe card to get a water And Bree's in padded pockets And looking under things

Trying to find her swipe card all day I saw you going through my stuff as well Looking around Then I've walked out there And I've walked back into the office And you guys sat there her pockets and looking under things, trying to find her sleep pad all day. I saw you going through my stuff as well, looking around, but there's a don't you. Then I've walked out there and I've walked back into the office and you guys sat there. Did you know? I found out about 3.30. So you knew.

But some context. Bree's been so mean to me today. What have I done? You hid under my desk on Instagram Live trying to scare me. You did the same thing to me without the Instagram Live. You did it first. And then you also FaceTimed me just to pull the fingers at me.

So you've been very rude. Well, you told me I only had premium economy boobs. I did not. That was me. Wait, that was you, Clint. Fuck you. I would never say such a lie. I haven't seen them, so how would I know?

So why would you assume? Wouldn't you just give me benefit of the boob? Yeah, true, true. I don't know why you're so angry about premium economy. People kill for premium economy. No, because I know how great my boobs are. It's the one good thing I have. It's the one good thing.

Like if I had to show them a bum cheek, I'd be in cattle class all day. You can go under the plane. Yeah, they'd be like, we'll put you underneath. Anyway, you're welcome. Fuck you guys. I found your swipe card. Yeah, he found it. We need to give context as to why it's so stressful

when you lose a swipe card because this lady who runs the swipe cards, Jo Riddell, she's very strict on it, which it needs to be or else people would just be, you know, getting rid of swipe cards and losing them willy-nilly. I'm terrified of losing my swipe card. And she makes it that if you lose your swipe card, she makes you – she's like not angry at you, she's just very disappointed. And then you have to pay for it.

You have to pay for a new one. She's got a very stern mum voice. She does. She's got a great mum voice. Good news, good news. You don't have to because we a new one. She's got a very stern mum voice. She does. She's got a great mum voice. Good news, good news. You don't have to because we found it. Thank God. I think you left it out here while I was waiting under your desk to scare you.

Oh, I'm coming for you. I am coming for you. Hey, you started it. I'll finish it. Yeah, you will. Yeah, I fucking will. What's your mum voice, Claudia? Do you have one?

I don't think I have one. I'm not scary. I feel like I do have one. Okay, ready? What's the situation? What's the scene where I have to come in and break something up? It's 11.30 at night and Ella is still not home and she's just walked in the door. Where the bloody hell have you been? It's 11.30. I told you to be home at 10 o'clock.

Get upstairs right now. No Wi-Fi and no internet for the rest of the week. I don't even want to look at you. Fuck, that's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good. I'm not scared of me. My favourite part was taking away the Wi-Fi and the internet.

I panicked. You know how parents panic? I remember saying things. That's unfair. Let's negotiate. Yes to the Wi-Fi, but let me have the internet. Fine. Please, Mum.

Can I have the dial-up? Fine, but no 4G. Please give me the dial-up. All right, Claudia. Your turn. Bree. I've broken a very expensive vase. Vase, what do you guys say?

Vase. Vase. Vase. A very expensive vase because me and my friends were spitting wine into it. Oh, Brianna. So irresponsible. I've taught you better than that. Nah, you're building on cool mum.

I'm not scared at all. I feel like you're about to join us in drinking the wine. I would be like, okay, how are we going to hide this? How are we going to hide it from the other one? Okay, Clint's turn.

Your situation is there's a water shortage. You're on tank water. There's a water shortage and you've told your son, who's 12, that he can only have three-minute showers and he's run a full bath and he's sitting in the bath. Okay. He's in the bath? He's in the bath. So I've got to go into the bathroom.

Put a flannel over it. I'm coming in. What's the deal with the bath? You know that we're on – no, no. You know the water situation. I've talked to you about this. What's the deal with the bath? You know that we're on... No, no. You know the water situation. I've talked to you about this. What's the deal with the bath? Oh, I hate the questions.

I know what you're doing in here, by the way. I know that you're... Yeah, I'm masturbating. I know you're masturbating. We've talked about this. It's a perfectly normal thing. You can do it in the shower, mate. You can do it in the shower.

Dad, you know that I like to do it in the bath. It doesn't take more than three minutes. Don't make me do it in the shower. It feels different in the bath. When you do it in the bath, it creates a ring of spermy scum around the outside of your bath. And you know who's got to clean that, mate? Gross, Dad. Your mother. That's gross.

Your mother has to clean that. Fine. I don't want her having to deal with that. She already has to deal with mine. Fine. Well, can you let me finish because I'm halfway through. Just this one time. Okay. Love you, pal. Okay. Love you too.

Good chat. Okay. That's horrific. This podcast needs a warning, I think. Yeah, it might need a warning. That was pretty good. You know when you're in trouble and your parent asks you to explain what's wrong? That seems called bath wank.

Bath wank. I was pretty good acting I think from both sides. Yeah, that was excellent. Bath wanker! I think I was in the bathroom with you. I'm here. I've really got to do that wee.

I've really got to do that wee. Okay, we can go now. Okay, see ya. Bye bye. I'm going for a bath wank. That sounded fun. Oh no. It floats.

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