ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 25th February 2025

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

CONTENT WARNING: Not for younger ears. We're diving into the sealed section of the brand new Cosmopolitan Australia magazine.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network.

Hello everybody. This podcast has some rude content. Not bad, just a bit rude. So if you're in the company of delicate ears, maybe give this one a skip. Might not be appropriate for younger ears, but if you're reading the sealed section of the Cosmopolitan magazine, then you are okay to listen to this.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Brian Clint Podcast, where today we have a special treat for you. No, it's not the Brian Clint after party. It's the Brian Clint podcast where today we have a special treat for you. No, it's not the Brian Clint after party. It's the Brian Clint sealed section. Ooh, sexy stuff. Ooh, today I got sent a Cosmopolitan magazine. Cosmopolitan Australia. The re-released, updated.

Is it updated? It kind of looks exactly the same. Cosmo magazine. Yeah, it looks like how it always used to look, which, I mean, it's giving nostalgia. I'm here for it. Do you guys buy any magazines? Yes, sometimes.

Oh, wedding magazines? Yeah, and also nature and garden and home magazines. I love magazines. Only if I'm in it. I love the honesty. I'll buy a couple of mags. I'll buy a couple of mags. I'll buy a couple of mags on holiday. Oh, to get off your phone?

Yeah, to get off my phone. I used to be a big buy. Like I'd always buy a magazine at the airport before like a flight. That's fun. I'd always buy one. Really? I should do that. Have you guys ever subscribed to a magazine?

Yeah, as a kid. I got the Cream magazine subscription. Yeah. And then, I don't know if you remember, there was a Sabrina the Teenage Witch magazine. Of course there was. And I subscribed to that, and every week you'd get a different bit of makeup. I used to get that too. Yeah.

I had a girlfriend subscription, but me and my sister shared a subscription. You guys would have fucking hated that. And we hated it. Who got to read it first? She did every freaking time because she's the oldest. I had a subscription to Dinosaur Monthly and every month it came with a new bone that you could attach to your dinosaur skeleton.

Oh, that's cool. You are so Ross in the Friends character makeup. There's never anyone that was ever more Ross than Clint. Am I right, girls? I've never met a more Ross man. Yeah. Ross man. I think you're more Ross than Ross.

Fuck, I'm so Ross. You're so Ross. Bree thought today is a fun idea. We could open Zidim's sealed section. Do you need Zidim? Yes. So, no. The best part about-

Oh, have you never opened a sealed section? Wait, have you never experienced it? I'm so excited. The Cosmopolitan always had a sealed section, and this new release one also does, and you can tear it off. So, are we ready? Woo!

You want to get this turned down for a second? Just trying to race... Are you going to do some tearing sound effects? Gracefully. Oh, you're tearing it. Wow, what is in there? Secrets. I can't believe you've never read a sealed section.

Well, she was raised very... She was only born four years ago. Religious. So you're not allowed a Cosmo in a religious house, I imagine, growing up. What? We just never had magazines. Yeah, for a reason. Yeah, exactly. No, We just never had magazines. Yeah, for a reason.

Yeah, exactly. No, it just was not a thing. It's there. Sorry, this is taking a long time. It's really building the, you know, suspense. Okay, I'm nearly there. I'm nearly there. It's like foreplay. I'm there!

Got it. She's done it. Okay, here we go. Let's see what we would like to read in the Cosmo Sealed section. So the first part is the science of the orgasm. The female orgasm. Think orgasms are just for fun. Oh, get this.

Think orgasms are just for fun. Think again. They're also for making babies. What? Oh, yeah, for making babies. Who knew ultimate wellness hacks might already be at your fingertips literally beyond pleasure orgasms pack a powerful punch when it comes to health benefits think glowing skin better sleep reduce stress

and potential pain relief ready to glow from the outside. Oh, no, sorry, from the inside out. And so then it talks about why orgasms help your glowing skin. That makes sense. Why some mood. Well, if you feel good, you look good, right? No, but I think there's actual science to it. Massive wanker. When you have an orgasm or release certain endorphins and hormones.

Anyway, the next part is the Iron Chef. What? Which is a sexual move. Oh, okay. Can I see how to perform the Iron Chef? Yes. It's got a picture. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Where are her feet? I don't know. I don't know where she's meant to be. Is she laying on the bed there? That looks like it works if she's laying on the bed and he's standing beside the bed. Yes. What are her feet resting on?

She's just having to use her stomach muscles to keep them up. Nah. It says here, position. Turn up the heat in your love life with the Iron Chef, a sizzling position that's ripe for a quickie. Proving that the kitchen isn't just... Oh, it's the kitchen. Oh, no.

It still doesn't work. What are her feet on? The spicy position requires nothing more than a counter, desk, or any surface at just the right height for some hands on experimentation. The receiving partner sits perched on the edge, legs wrapped around their lover's waist. Oh, yeah, they're just drawing it wrong. Yep.

While the giving partner stands between their thighs. And then I'll stop there. It would never happen in a house with kids because the counter is never clear. There's always shit on the bench. My God. I'd have to do that thing in the movies where I sweep everything onto the floor and then my wife would go, oh, now you've made a mess.

I'm not in the mood now. And the dog would be there like, hey, guys. The dog would be there. Should I read you some of the headlines from the next part? It's quite a big sealed section. The next section is called, so You Want to Get Into Squirting. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Who out there is going, you know what I want to get in? Oh, listen to this. Listen to this. My New Year's resolution is. Do you want to hear some of the myths that they're busting in this? Myth. It's just urine. Is it?

No. Guys, we're not getting into the details. Okay, no, sorry. If you want to learn about that, you need to get the Cosmo sealed section. Okay, we're moving on to the next part. Slip into something more comfortable. Discover why lube is the

ultimate pleasure upgrade. We're going to have to put a warning on the front of this. I'm all good with it, but we're just going to have to put a little disclaimer on the front. It says here, whether you're 25 or 55, there's a lubricant tailored to your needs and mood. Oh, that's nice. Okay, next, a guide to blowjobs.

Jesus Christ. This was what the sealed section was. I know. You know what's interesting about it is all of the stuff that you've just said is in one month's sealed section. What the fuck are they going to put in next month's sealed section? They've already covered O's and BJ's and S's. Holy moly.

This is getting more and more saucy. Oh, no. Do you want me to read the next part? Yep. Oh, so then it goes. This was my favorite part of the sealed section. This was my favourite part of the sealed section was the Cosmo Confessions. Oh, same.

But it looks like – I remember that. Yeah, okay, so this is the last part of the Cosmo sealed section. Just getting it there if you need it. Okay, so this one says, I my dream girl at an ultra elite sex party. What? You'll never guess what that word is. No, I don't think we could ever guess what that is.

It starts with a P. Poked. Stop trying to guess it. What did you say? Poked. No, it's not poked. I meant Facebook. You know did you say? Poked. No, it's not poked. I meant Facebook.

You know how you do it on Facebook. Does that section have when people write in and confess stuff? Yes. Oh, yes. Didn't you just say it's Cosmo Confessions? I know what it is. Yeah, but it used to be like a bunch of little. Oh, no. What was it?

Dolly Doctor. Dolly Doctor was the one I'm thinking of. How do I know? Because Dolly Doctor was iconic. Sorry, I one I'm thinking of. How do I know? Because Dolly Doctor was iconic. Sorry, I think I've guessed it anyway. Did you? The long beep's throwing me off. It makes me feel like it's a really long word.

It's not. Is it a six-letter word? Hold on. Yeah, is it a six-letter word? I don't guess it. No one say it. Yes. Can I say washing line?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you know, you know. Oh! That was clever from me. Thank you. Anyway, not here to yuck anybody's yum.

That was good. If you want to get more, then go and get the Cosmo. It's hot. It's sexy. It's bad. I'm actually lying. This is fun. Got you going?

No, but it's interesting. I feel like you missed out on this when you were younger. I remember now, me and my friend from primary, she had a stack of them. So I'd read them there. I used to read my cousins' ones. And I remember looking for one when I was 13 because I knew they had one which explained how to pash.

And I was too ashamed to ask anybody. I was like, I have to find that copy and I have to find out how to do it. Because we didn't have Google. No. People are Googling that these days. People are like, you should practice on your hand. I learned so much from the Dolly Doctor. I'd love to meet them and say thank you one day.

I'll book an appointment. Do you reckon they're still taking appointments? Yeah. I'll look into it. Have a great night or day or whatever you're doing. Bye. See you guys tomorrow. Bye bye. Mwah.