ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 25th May 2023

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

We've picked out all the texts for our topic "what happened on the hen/stag do" that couldn't go on air, and let me say they are SCAN. DAL. OUS.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, does this after party have a smokers area? No, why? Because I brought my nan with me. This bitch is empty. Yeet! Bree and Clint's After Party. Today on the After Party, we're going to go through some messages we got that were not, not safe to be read out on the radio.

Correct. We asked you guys the question, what went wrong on the Hins and Stags do? Yes. Some dodgy buggers out there. I'm going to kick it off with this one. They said, I know a stag do that went on where at least three of the men on the stag do ended up taking home women over 50. The men were about 28 to 30 years old and all slept with them. One of the guys has been in a relationship

for over 10 years. Another now has a baby to his partner and the other already had four children to his partner. They all cheated. All still with their partners and there is a few of us who know

about it and it's very, very awkward. Obviously their partners don't know about it. Is that right? Obviously not. Sounds like it. Obviously not. I'm just looking for the ones that are. I don't like that.

Have you seen Schitt's Creek? I don't like that either. I heard a story. Sorry, you go first. Have you seen Schitt's Creek? There's a bit where there's a stag do and he um they get like a you know a massage and there's a happy ending and he was like oh was i not supposed to get the happy ending it's like you hired a massage person for

me oh god yeah that's cheating yeah uh just to clarify that is cheating oh my goodness um i heard this story from a friend of mine and apparently it is a true story that there was this girl who was living in australia and she was from the uk and she'd been there for quite a while like a few years and had been on all the visas. And anyway, so she was dating this guy and they'd been dating for like three years, Aussie guy. And essentially they were applying for like some sort of visa where she could stay in Australia, you know, because she was with an Australian guy and this and that. And anyway, he went on a stag do and slept with the stripper. And anyway, some of the guys that were on the stag do told her about it because they were like, we don't want to be a part of this. This is disgusting and not fair on you because they were friends

with her as well and pretty much gave him an ultimatum and said, if you don't tell her, we will tell her. And he didn't tell her. So they ended up telling her. And anyway, they were like halfway through the process of applying for this visa. So she was in this position now where she essentially got cheated on and now was going to get deported. And so, oh, this is so bad. So she blackmailed him and blackmailed him with photos

that apparently she had of him and said that if you don't continue this process with me. Marry me? No, I think it was the visa application process. If you don't go through this process with me, I'll share these photos with your work. Yeah. And got what she wanted?

I don't know. I think it's a true story, but it sounded pretty hectic. I was like... Here's another text we got. The stripper got our mate to lay on the ground face up. She was doing dance moves around him and then over the top of him, and she did some kind of back somersault thing that was meant to land just above his face in a squat-style position.

She misjudged, and her bits landed firmly on the bridge of our mate's nose. He was in pain and pushed her off and jumped up. That was the end of the strip dance. We thought it was, but luckily his nose wasn't broken. Imagine if he'd broken his nose and you had to tell his wife to be how it got broken. Yeah, hectic. Someone else said, relatively tame stag do,

but the stag was made to carry around a kiddie plastic set of golf clubs and play golf between pubs on the crawl. Second to last pub we were leaving, and it was the last tee off. Big happy Gilmore run up. He slipped over, broke his tooth like Jim Carrey. Bride wouldn't talk to the boys for some time. Yeah, yeah. It is their job to keep them safe.

And I know that things get out of hand, but yeah. Things get way out of hand. What's, like, not, what is, what am I trying to say? There's nothing wrong with, like, just a wholesome stag do. Boring. Why do they have to go so intense? I agree with that, Ella. I do agree with that

It's the classic You're getting married You're never going to be able to do this again We're going to make you be a degenerate for a night Why do boys take it too far? I feel like girls are pretty good It's because anytime you get a group of men together Everything becomes competitive

So it's not like Well competitive to see how dumb you can be. How many beers you can drink. How fast you can drink those beers. Yeah, but some of the stuff... Who can do the physical thing that they used to do in their 20s that they definitely can't do anymore in their 30s, but now that they've had five beers and they're surrounded by the boys,

they're going to try and do it. But some of the stuff is pre-organised, where they're like, we're going to put him, we're going to sit him on a lawn chair, and we're going to duct tape him to that chair, and then we're going to tie that to the back of the old Ford Ranger And then we're going to drag him across the lawn You know what I mean?

Or even the scrumpy game Meanwhile your partner's having a long lunch with the girls Sharing stories, taking photos Yeah, that's what happens at Hensdots Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely That's all the people want What does happen at hen's nights? See, you know the difference is that girls are just better at keeping secrets. You know what I mean? And not getting injured.

Yeah, and not taking it too far that obviously then it all comes out. My sister's hen's night was fucking wild, eh? like we started off in this penthouse apartment in Brisbane and like everyone was there like all my sister's friends who were like you know 30 and then like me my cousin and then like some of the older women so my mom my auntie my other auntie um the mother of the groom like some of the older women, so my mum, my auntie, my other auntie, the mother of the groom, like some of the older women. And so we're all there and it was me and her best friend, we organised the hen's night and the first thing we organised

was a sexy pass the parcel. And it was the weirdest experience watching like my auntie Cheryl open up layers of this sexy pass the parcel and it was the weirdest experience watching like my auntie shirl open up layers of this sexy past the parcel and she so shill shill ended up winning the main prize of the past the parcel which was a big black dildo and then and then throughout you guys never saw it again no well we did no we did so throughout the rest of the night, this other girl, this friend of ours, she was interviewing people with the Big Black Dildo. A classic move, yeah. But we went on this boat called Hot Boys or something

and they do like sexy dances and stuff. And seeing my mum get a lap dance was just not for me. Oh, crikey. I was just like. I reckon your mum would have loved it. She did love it. She would have been in an element. She was laughing and they were like, you know, it wasn't like anything.

And they would have loved it too. The strippers would have loved her. Yeah, they were having a great time. Everyone was laughing and, you know, whatever. Jesus. Oh, God. All right. Well, there's more stag do and hens do disasters in the main podcast today.

The one that shocked me the most was. The broken ass? The coccyx. Coccyx. I've broken my coccyx before. Have you? Oh, my gosh. It's your tailbone.

Can you stand? You can. You can't sit. Like, I could not sit properly for a year. Yeah. It just is painful as. I've broken it twice. It's so bad.

And they can't do anything about it. No. It's like a broken rib. It just has to heal on its own. It's so bad And they can't do anything about it It's like a broken rib It just has to heal on its own It's horrible So bad Coxic Coxic Grandma

Sorry Mom broke her coxic once But grandma told all her friends That she broke her scrotum Not the same thing I know that obviously She got it mixed up Did she?

Well I'm not going to ask any more questions about that Interesting When I was in high school I kept calling the person in the rowing boat The coxic And they were like It's not the coxic It's the cocks

The cockson The cockson See I still don't know I still don't know Cox for short My husband thought it would be a great idea To get on a push bike at his stag do After quite a few beers. It didn't

end well. He hit a car, fell off and ended up in hospital needing his ear half stitched back on and grazes all over his face. This was two weeks before the wedding. Jesus. Your name is dog tucking at that stage. You better find the

best makeup artist you can find. You better find someone who does those movie prosthetics. Yeah. Jeez. My favourite text that we did read out in the show, but it was this text. Not a stag or a hen's night, but my cousin's wedding night. Him and his new wife had a threesome with one of the bridesmaids.

Oh, my God. Remember I told you about those people that we know that got offered a threesome on their wedding night? Yes. What are your thoughts on someone offering a bride and groom a threesome on their wedding night? Pretty bold. I feel like it's a little bit. Yeah, it's not the night.

Not the night. I'm not saying if that's the vibe, not to do it another night. No, that's their night. I'm not yucking anyone's yums because I'm all for a threesome. I've got the bumper sticker. But on the wedding night, it's meant to be their night, just that night. Just them. You know, just them.

You didn't pay for any of it. No, it's not about you. It's not about you. It's not about you. You don't get to see the special wedding knickers. No. No. The wedding lingerie is not for you. It's not about you. You don't get to see the special wedding knickers. No. No. The wedding lingerie is not for you.

Okay? So just think about that the next time you're offering up a threesome at a wedding. Yeah, that's great advice to end the podcast. It is, yeah. I think so too. So let's park it. Let's go. The other podcast is live.

Enjoy it. We'll catch you guys back tomorrow on the Brain Clench Show. Bye. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrim.