ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party - 5th July 2023

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Bree's is a Tinder strategy and Clint thinks Bree's choice in haircut is allllll about him.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The party after the party after the party. Hi everybody, welcome to the Brian Clint After Party. The party that happens after the show. That's why we call it the After Party. But possibly you're listening to it before the main podcast. Which for you means it's like a before party or a pre-party. Pre's.

But for us it's an after party. What's better, a pre-party or an after party? I prefer a pre-party. I prefer a pre-game. Yeah, better, a pre-party or an afterparty? I prefer a pre-party. I prefer to pre-game. Yeah, I like a pre. Yeah. Afterparty's so fun, though, if it's the right one. Yeah, it has to be the right one.

Yeah. If you're already tired and grumpy. Yeah, but a good afterparty is... But an afterparty with the wrong vibes... I went to a real cool afterparty on the weekend. It was full of New Zealand comedians. Oh, yeah. And I've never felt so unfunny.

Really? Were they all testing their gear around each other? I was the least funny person at the party. I was like, God, everyone that's funny in this country is in this house right now. That's intimidating. You're just not. And I realised it when I was there. I was like, oh, my God, everyone's so funny.

But they'd all be feeling that too. They were probably looking at you going, oh, my God, Brie so funny. But they'd all be feeling that too. They were probably looking at you going, oh my God, Brie's here. We got to be cool. Who invited her? She's not invited. Oh my gosh, no. Do you want to hear a funny message that I got this morning? Go on.

My friend texts saying, I see Brie way too many times in people's Tinder photos. Really? So apparently, Brie, you're helping out the nation. Your photo is out there with people on their Tinder profiles, helping them make connections. I take that as a compliment that someone thought. That they want to use you to get laid. Or maybe they just think they look really good in the photo.

Nah. Do you reckon maybe they think they look good by comparison? Maybe. Could be. It's cloud. Could be. It's like, look who I met. Exactly. Holding a big fish. Oh, thanks, Kord. And then they've got a photo with Brie. Maybe. Could be. It's cloud. Could be. It's like, look who I met. Exactly.

Holding a big fish. Oh, thanks, Claude. And then they've got a photo with Brie. Yeah, I totally agree. I found a guy who was using a picture of me. I was with the guy at Rhythm and Vines from like 2017 in his Tinder profile picture. Wow.

And we tracked him down and we're like, how is Clint going for you in the Tinder matches? How is using him in your profile going for you and his response was who's clint oh i just look good in that photo bro he said um the guy in your tinder profile picture oh is that who it is i just got a photo with him because someone said he was famous love it oof that's like a backhanded compliment though because someone said you were famous but then he didn't yeah he's like i don't know, though, because someone said you were famous. Someone said I was famous. But then he didn't know you. Yeah, he's like, I don't know who that is.

Guys, I've just messaged my hairdresser. Oh, no. That's right. I've got a hairdresser, even though I've never, I've had one haircut in New Zealand. Yeah, that's weird. The whole time you've been here? The whole time I've been here, I've had my hair done once in five years.

Yeah, I cut my own hair. Brilliant. It's one of those electric carving knives that you use for like a lamb roast. Yeah. I just use a pair of medical scissors and just give myself a trim. No, my friend who's the most amazing hairdresser in the whole world, her name's Lisa Marie. Prisley?

Yes, Lisa Marie Prisley. I just messaged her after that chat. She's hard to get an appointment with at the moment. Yeah. I've heard. Why? What is she? at the moment. Yeah. I've heard. Why? What is she? A hairdresser.

Yeah, the hairdresser. What? No, don't, don't, Claude. Don't give it to him. Oh, okay. No, let him sit in it. Anyway, I messaged her off the back of our chat today about haircuts. I think I'm going to get a bob.

Yes. I love a bob. A long bob. No, you suit a bob because you've got thick hair. See, I already know that I don't suit it because I've got thin hair and I will look terrible. I want you to chase your dreams and I want you to go for it. I'm never going to have a good-looking bob.

I'm never going to look good with a bob. Oh, wait, you just said that you want to do it. I know. But see, I know that'm never going to look good with a bob oh wait you just said that you want to do it i know but see i know that's not going to look good so i want i want you to do whatever you want to do my concerns are twofold one are you sure that thinking about the bob for literally 45 minutes is enough time to commit to such a drastic change we talked about it on the show 45 minutes ago i started thinking about yesterday when we talked about me getting a disaster bob. I haven't changed my haircut in 10 years. I feel so shit about myself at the moment.

I need to do something. I get that. A bob could make it worse. It could. You're right. It definitely could. A bob is the ultimate hairstyle. Everyone looks good in a bob.

Not a short one. Don't do like in a mode. No, I'm not going to go short. You want a lob, don't you? A lob. A long bob. Yeah. Yeah.

Plus the hairdressers. The other part of my concern. Sorry, back to me. Yes. Back to me and your haircut. Yes. If you get a bad haircut, I will have to deal with you. Shut up.

Excuse you. You'll be so angry. You'll be so upset about it. No, I'll be angry straight after. And to be honest, I trust my friend Lisa. To do a good job or to tell you whether to bob or not to bob? Both of those. If I go in there and I say, I want a long bob or I want a bob,

if she, like, she knows hair and she knows people's faces, she'll go, no. Not for you. That's not for you. Yeah, good. You know what I mean? She's like that type of person. I'm not saying it's not for you, by the way.

No, I'm saying it's not for me. There'll be a TikTok filter that will give you a bob. What if I came in, what if I came in tomorrow and I had a long bob that was blonde? Oh, my God. Yeah, I was just going to say dye it. That would be so drastic because I never change my hair. Maybe not blonde.

Why not? Maybe you could. I'm just trying to imagine it. Not like platinum. You could do it progressively. You could go. Like a blonde. No, no, no, no.

A blonde. No, you could do one. Brown blonde. You could do one. You could do blonde or bob. And then you could. no, no. A brond. No, you could do one. Brown blonde. You could do one. You could do blonde or bob. And then if that's successful, you could then do the other part. True. Because both at once.

Because imagine hating the colour and the cut. I really want to get balayage, but it's not cool anymore. Nah. I literally have a balayage. I love you. No. But your balayage isn't the one that i'm talking about actually to be honest emotional damage yours is like a subtle belly which is so much i know what

you're talking about you're talking about a 2010s belly i want claudia's belly you want a um you're talking about like a dip dye yes oh yeah you know that was such a big trend for a while i and so many hairdressers i could just see their faces people would go in go can i and they'd go did you guys ever see someone with the opposite like blonde into brown nah i think i did once and it was like what discon, yeah. Maybe I'll just get the Billie Eilish and I'll go green roots into black. That'd be cool. I'd look so weird. You could get Billie layers.

You know her blonde layers? No, Ella, my hair's already thin enough. I can't get layers. Do you want some of mine? I've got too much. Oh, I'd love some of your hair. You can have some. Give me a quarter or one third.

You can have one third. Yeah, one third. Do you want some of my nipple hair? 33%. Oh, shush. No, third Do it to my nipple hair 33% Oh shush Nah I'm good on the nipple hair I'm all frizzies Here's a theory

Don't shush my nipple hair by the way All bodies are beautiful Yeah but Okay Why do you make it weird with nipple hair Anyway Because that's where I'm growing hair from There's a theory

I pulled a hair out of my nipple once It was black Mine are black Go Ella Thank you In high school I had the most thickest Longest hair because guess what I did every night Hang upside down on my bed

People thought weirdo whatever What? I'd hang upside down and massage my head And now I've stopped doing that Fucking vegan My hair's not as long as it was And it didn't grow as quick Ella I hate to break it to Ella I hate to break it to you

I hate to break it to you As you get older your hair will get thinner No no no It could be vitamin deficiency You think You think that your hair is not as thick anymore Because you don't hang it upside down off your bed Yeah because the hair follicles

The blood pushes the hair follicles You don't just say science before something and it makes it scientific. I'm over you guys. I'm going to go home. Anyway, I was just giving you some advice. I'm going to try it. We'll see what happens.

I'm going to start doing it again. Do it. I will have long hair this time next year. My hair stays next year. You will anyway. This is not a scientific study. If you don't get a haircut, you'll have long hair.

By the end of the year. Not me. My hair stays the same length. You try it. This is not a scientific study. If you don't get a haircut, you'll have long hair. By end of the year. Not me. My hair stays the same length. You try it. It does not grow. It just breaks off. Do you snip it, though? I do trim it from time to time.

Okay. Yeah, but it just does. It stays the same length. Snip it good. Guys, last night, one more thing before we go. I said snippet. My dog, Meryl Streep, did the biggest and loudest fart I have ever heard a dog do. And I was so shocked. My partner will vouch because she was there as well.

And then, I'm not joking, it was this, ready? It was like this. We were all sitting there on the couch. Meryl Streep, she's asleep. She's laying on the couch. And it sounded like this. No. And I looked at Zafira and I went, what?

And she goes, oh, my God. And then two minutes later, she did another one. That's rad. Did it stink? Dog f farts it reeked my four-year-old tui did a huge fart yesterday after the bath does she get embarrassed so she was watching bluey at the time and she did a long one like a four or five seconder yeah nice while she was talking that's solid so you do a four or five second fart sound effect and I'll be her. And that's Bluey.

Bluey is the dog and that's Bluey's sister. That's Bingo. And that's Dad. And she did that, didn't flinch, didn't stop speaking. And I paused for a second and I went, Tui, did you just do a big fart? And she looked me dead in the eye and she goes, no. You need to reassure her that it's a natural bodily function we do we laugh about it yeah but just the lie just that no your kids are so funny oh my gosh what about northwest

on the kardashians dropping bombs have you guys seen it have you seen that episode you're not watching it fair enough don't bother It's such a crappy season. But there's one part where Northwest drops the biggest fart and Kim goes, did you just fart? North's like, yeah. So funny. Shit, it's funny. Oh, my God.

And Kim was like talking about when her dad died and here's Northwest going, mum, mum, mum. Oh, my God. I'm like, my god Oh my god this is so funny Alright we've got to go and film a Paramore video where Brie and I look like 2010's emos Yeah we need to take a photo as well for something else

Social people Airplanes in the night sky That's the least Paramore song That's a B.O.B song It's a Hayley Williams featuring on. That's what you get. More emo. Whoa, I am a mid to break.

But I got it where I want it now. Whoa, it's never my end to break. Okay, catch you guys tomorrow. Other podcast is up. See you then. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Feed by KFC. Get the full menu delivered to your door with the KFC app. Play. ZM.