ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party with Chris Parker - 12th June 2023

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Welcome to the After Party with special guest comedian Chris Parker! He gets very honest about his experience on a sleeping pill, and how he likes a martini.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Party after party after party. Welcome to the Brinklin After Party. Comedian Chris Parker. Is this the after party? Yes. Can you swear at the after party? You sure can.

Fuck. You can do drugs if you want. Really? Yeah. Yeah, we've got some lorazepam out the back if you want. Yeah. This is real. I've got some kids' pamole.

We've got anti-anxiety medication. Maybe even an antihistamine. Some teething rub. Yeah. This is real. I've got some kids, Pam O. Anti-anxiety medication. Maybe even an antihistamine. Some teething rub. Crazy. Some teething rub. You're dropping baroccas tonight. My mum drugged me. And some bum rash cream.

My mum drugged me with an antihistamine one time. Drowsy. Yeah. So I was home and I was fully panicking about like senior exams or something, absolutely driving her up the wall. And she's like, here, take one of these antihistamines. And I was like, what is it? You guys call it a Finnegan.

We call it Finergan. Finergan. But it's quite a strong antihistamine. And I'm not joking. I woke up 10 hours later. Actually, mum used to give us Finnegan all the time on road trips. I think she was just putting us out. They drug you.

I'm telling you. I need to get some of this stuff for our car trips. I've never heard of knocking your can out. Knock you out cold. Put them out on the gas, out they go. Sleep for the rest of the car trip. Arriving the other side of the country. Pretty strong.

I remember taking a sleeping pill on Treasure Island, actually. Did you? Yeah, someone snuck some in and they offered me one. It was randomly this night that a flare went off at night. I remember this. I was just about to go to sleep and then the sky lit up red and everyone was like, what? And everyone ran out to see what it was and I was like,

like so like ready to sleep. It was like a dream. Weird. It's crazy. What were those sleeping pills that if you resist the urge to sleep that it gives you like a high and all the Olympians got in trouble for being on that? And all blacks got in trouble for taking them during the Rugby World Cup. It's any

sleeping pill. You just have to fight through the sleepy bit. They were doing them with Red Bull. Absolutely awful. There's nothing worse than when you're watching a movie and your eyes are like literal sandbags, just like so heavy. And then you're just trying to get up. and then you do that

thing so you drink the ring yeah yeah i'm always doing that on like on like on my phone at night yeah especially when my husband's away because like still knocks that's what it was called still knocks yeah but you know when you're just scrolling and you got like one eye open and you're like what are you doing to yourself go to sleep you monster so if you stay awake through that you go full batshit crazy like like high as a kite and they found three all blacks at um uh the hertzmere max brew bar during the rugby world cup and they were there and they were like we're fucking wasted what and this is the one time new zealand has come together to save the all blacks and the owner of the bar was like, get in the kitchen. And they rushed them off to the kitchen and then someone called the...

Don't asleep. Yeah, they called the Spencer on bar and they were like, we've got your All Blacks. You need to come and get them. And they smuggled them out of the bar and they managed to get them home before the papers heard anything about it. But we heard about it. But we heard about it, yeah.

And you hear about it first, right here, the after party. I think you don't get a hangover. I think that's what it is. I think that's where you do it. Anything to knock if you're a hangover, like i used to drink um like vodka and coconut water did it work someone combined powerade yeah yeah i mean it's a good idea right powerade and pals yeah powerade come on come on that's a great idea i've never even products but wouldn't all the sugar in it fuck you up i don't know yeah there Yeah, true. Yeah, there's a lot of sugar.

Is there sugar? Oh, yeah, there is sugar in that, eh? A lot of sugar. That's why everyone drinks vodka lime sodas, because you're drinking water at the same time you're drinking alcohol, so it's like hydrating you and dehydrating you. I've never felt bad after a night on the vodka lime sodas. Really?

Yeah. I'm a martini boy. Is this a new thing? Yeah. You don't feel hungover on those And that makes you feel high That is crazy How many martinis can you drink? I think like one

You're kind of waking up Two, you're your supreme being And then three It's terrible At three you become the worst version of yourself So like two and a half ideally is where you want to leave It's like you're talking about hard drugs. They are hard drugs.

Martini's are hard drugs. Have you had a martini? Like a dirty martini? I don't think so. With the olive juice in it. It was so good. I love it. But also disgusting as well.

I feel like I'd like it. The only hard thing about a martini, it's like ordering a steak or playing pool. Like you're immediately presumed to be an expert on it if you order one. And they just ask you a million questions and you sort of have to Rise to the occasion Like you

Just make it up It's never like Hey I'm now Going to ask you some questions They never They're just like Immediately with the questions And you sort of have to like

Front up Oh you're a martini guy are you Yeah Oh you think you're good enough Yeah Okay Name your three favourite Martini albums

Dry or wet And you're like I don't know I thought it all came out wet It's a drink That's why I order Tequila sunrises And no one expects anything from me. Yeah.

What? Isn't it tequila sunrise? It's like tequila and orange juice. It's orange juice and like red cordial. It's horrible. Do they come in a big tall? It's like a glass and then it looks like it goes from like. No, you're thinking of a Long Island iced tea, I think.

Oh, okay. I never really went to town you know like i went straight from like maybe drinking at like a party at high school to then just like martinis at home did you yeah like i'm not a big i've never been a big party boy you never like go around to someone's house with a 12 pack of cruisers and just like no really no not really i went to drama school so we were just like rolling around the floor and our feelings and like not really partying yeah i've seen the i I went to drama school, so we were just like rolling around the floor in our feelings and not really partying. Yeah, I've seen the pictures. Drinking at drama school.

I've seen the pictures of you and Brinley's tent. Yeah. Yeah, shocking actually. What you guys did together. Yeah, we were dressing up in our house. We weren't like going out and getting lit. Yeah. Trying to miss that chapter because I didn't do like a traditional uni.

I didn't do the whole like O-Week thing. Maybe I should just do that. Yeah. Yeah, do it now. Do it now. Do an O-Week tour. I would just do that do an O-Week tour I would love that actually so have you ever been blackout?

have you ever like been blackout? no I wouldn't want that though you're missing out you're missing out memories I reckon having a bit of this potato would black me out we talked about Rimbaud Wilson on the show last week who said she's never been drunk either but that's because she had like a horrifically alcoholic grandmother and it like killed her or something so she's like not

yeah no good reason fair enough no for me just like i don't know can't be bothered i and i'm like loose-lipped anyway so if you give me a couple of drinks i will say anything can we get a martini and here's that dirty uh dry dry Or wet Can we get four Exactly four martinis Four dusty Dusty dry martinis Shake it Not stir

There you go There you go I got that What's going on In your lives I'm sick of talking about me Who's got gossip Do I have any gossip

No we always talk about us We're boring Dish up the gossip What's going on Who's got gossip Bree's going to Europe soon And she's got to share A hotel room with her mum and dad. My mum goes, would you rather your dad sleep on the trundle and you and I sleep in the double bed?

I said, why can't we get two rooms? Yeah. You're on radio. Surely you get two rooms. Claudia, can you write some questions for Tradie vs Lady for us so we can talk to Chris Parker as long as possible? We've got to stop talking to Chris Parker in 2 minutes and 32 seconds. I love that. What's your goss? Oh no, my

life is... Nah, it's not exciting. He's getting a new roof. That's pretty good. What, are you going to tin or brick? Composite. Oh, what does that mean? Some kind of rubber. Oh, I like that. A rubber roof? Yeah yeah is that a thing like a membrane yeah so the birds if the birds insane in the membrane oh my god maybe my roof

is not boring okay what other details do you guys want to know um what color black oh nice that'll heat up nice and hot and so won't it yeah yeah yeah we're putting a new pitch in it boring hey and you're like when you get older. So boring. And it's the thing I was thinking about, like house parties were like, from the few house parties I did in my 20s, they were fun, or as a teenager, because you had like a mission. Like you were like, I'm going to go out and like, you know, hook up with someone or tell someone that I have a crush on them.

There was a point to it. But in your 30s, you're like, what? Like I'm going to break up with my partner of like eight years? Or like, is that going to ruin my life? There's no achievements. There's no goal setting There's no goals. I had the same revelation. I went out for dinner with some friends and we're all in mid to late thirties

now. And they're like, Oh, let's go to some bars afterwards. And you go to the bar and you stand in the bar and you're like, I'm not going to hit on anyone. Why am I here? I might polish the floors a bit.

I'm not looking to make any new friends. I don't want any more friends. Yeah. What is the optimal way of hanging out? What's the point of going to those bars? I had a big realisation a couple of weeks ago where I was like, I'm so boring. I was like, I'm going to do something crazy and then me,

my partner and our good friend who has life... He's gay. That's a good way to hang out. That would be interesting. If he's gay, there's no strings attached. He's gay. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that.

He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that.

He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that.

He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that.

He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that. But he has lifetime staff travel on Air New Zealand. He's gay. He's like one of those magnets. He doesn't want that. You flip the magnets around and they... But he has lifetime staff travel. The opposite of scissoring. On Air New Zealand. So you just booked a flight to him? And we said, we all went, should we just go to Vegas for the long weekend? Did you go?

For the Matariki long weekend. It turns out his staff travel ends two weeks before that, so we can't go. Just go to like Roto Vegas. Roto Vegas. We're just going to go to Wanaka or something. Oh yeah, classic. Oh, boring.

Here's a question though for the last kind of minute we've got of this show. We've got 28 seconds. Answer me this right now. What is the optimum way to hang out with your friends? Dinner.

Hi. Dinner and drinks. Hi. I'm going to say games arcade. Oh, I love it. Even as an adult. I'm into it.

Even more than board games? Yes I hate board games Really? Take them to the arcade I'm into it Shoot some hoops We gotta go That's Chris Parker

He's on tour around the country You should google and get some tickets Thanks Chris Thanks team Love you bye Bye Play ZM's Brand Clint

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