ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree & Clint's After Party with Eli Matthewson - 20th October 2023

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

Welcome to the After Party with guest host Eli Matthewson!! Clint was away today so Eli stepped up to keep the show as fun as ever. Bree taught us some new Aussie-isms, and Eli came to work with a stanky shirt.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fair. Fair. Please welcome to the after party pod- no, we're not the after party. We are the after party. Oh no, we are. Oh shit, I thought- We're not the other one.

The kick-ons. Oh that, oh yeah, I know about the kick-ons. Yeah. From a previous life. An alternate universe. That's Elo Matheson. He is joining us today on the after party and the whole show. It's so good to be here, except that, yeah,

first time I've ever come here and done a show, and I am wearing a smelly shirt. And you can't hear it, obviously, but it does smell. You were very transparent about the smelly shirt earlier in the show. It's like one that's been through the wash plenty of times and I don't know what I did. I think maybe I put it on over my gym clothes one day and then it's just stuck and it's only on one side.

Like there's one armpit where I'm like, that's ruined forever. It's bad. Yeah. What's with the shirts? Are you one of those people if you wear a white shirt, you stain the armpits? Yeah, I've done that before. Do you?

Producer Claude's checking. Double checking. No, I'm good. No, you're good. It's so far away from my armpit. Yeah, that's gorge. That's exactly the kind of cut you want. You don't have loose armpits.

Don't talk about yourself like that. I think I stain them with roll-on, though. I think I'm sweating. I think I'm putting on so much roll-on that that then seeps through. I have a confession. I'm not a roll-on though, it's more, I think I'm sweating. I think I'm putting on so much roll-on that that then seeps through. I have a confession. I'm not a roll-on person. Do you spray? I spray.

You spray. I spray. Not even the, what's the one with the like ethical one where you like scrape it out with your fingernails. Yeah, I mean, I thought about that one. Yeah, I'm a sprayer. Always have been. Cool charm.

Huh? Cool charm. Did you have cool charm in Charm. Huh? Cool Charm? Did you have Cool Charm in Australia? What's Cool Charm? What? You really missed out. Yeah, that was like the It Girl spray. Like Spice World spray?

Similar. Similar packaging. They come in like pink, purple and blue. Two little butterflies flying on the packaging. It was very 90s. Impulse? Are you talking about Impulse? It's different from Impulse.

It's in the realm, but no. I was always astounded by how when you press the spray, 90s impulse are you talking about impulse it's not it's different from the realm but no yeah was always astounded by how it like when you press the spray it was like it was like like barely anything it was like you're like these people are 11 they don't actually need stuff that works yeah meanwhile links one little push it's like and it's never just one little push it's always a full body spray all both. Both armpits, both nipples. 16 different boys. Yeah. Did you guys ever do that dumb thing as kids with spray on deodorant called the frosty?

No. I'd love to know about that. Oh, shit. That's so Aussie. The frosty? Yeah, you give each other frosties. So kind of similar to a smiley. I've given a man a frosty before.

Sorry. Oh, sorry. So have I, actually. In a previousy. I've given a man a frosty before. Sorry. So have I, actually. In a previous life. In an alternate universe. So you get the can, it's the dumbest thing ever, you get a can of deodorant and you just spray it on your skin really close until

it burns you. What? Oh, fun. I want to try that. And then did you guys do the one with the lighter where you'd have like a cigarette lighter and you'd like have it on for ages and then you just get the top of the lighter and you like do a little smiley face with it and your arm hairs no on your skin and people used to get the most horrific burns and scars wow Wow. Just dumb shit. Australia's a different world. We used to, you know those bendy rulers? Yeah.

We would saw each other's arms until that got so fast that it would burn your ears off. Hardcore, man. Yeah, pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's Elizabeth Frosty more of a ruley. What was that? Oh, what was that?

I was just thinking of something not lost it adhd you know what you're already bragging about how focused you are today and this is what it's wearing off it's wearing off since being diagnosed i literally if something goes wrong i'm like adhd just. Just everything. Like, literally. I'm just a little bit, you know, sexist, and I'm like, ADHD. Yeah, accidentally punched someone? ADHD. Sorry, I just can't focus, so I punched you.

Really just helps me focus, you know? Sorry, officer, I wasn't speeding. I just have ADHD. ADHD. It's not a murder. I just have ADHD. I've got ADHD. Oh's not a murder. I just have ADHD. I've got ADHD. Oh, Jesus.

What do you reckon is the weirdest excuse someone has said to get out of a ticket? Have you ever gotten yourself out of a ticket? Claude? No, I haven't. Producers out there? Producer Brooke? Producer Ella? I've never been pulled over. What?

Yeah. I'm a very good girl I've had a lot of speeding tickets and a lot of parking fines but the coppers have never got me You know what I love about this country and people, this is for our Aussie podcast listeners who are going to be like

What? In New Zealand, if you get done on a speed camera here, you don't get any demerit points What the fuck? You any demerit points. What the fuck? You get demerit points in Australia. Yeah. What?

Wow. And you know, the funny thing is this. So it happens because there's speed cameras literally everywhere in Australia. And it becomes a thing where people lose demerit points. And if you get done on a speed camera and say you're going to lose your license you can say it was someone else what like someone else borrowed my car yes they have a photo of you driving the car or some of them some of them do get like where they can see it's you but a lot of them don't a lot of them is just the back of your car and it's

your number plate and sure the camera quality is not that good on those cameras. Nah. So surely you can argue it. Yeah. If you've got a friend that looks enough like you. Exactly. That's not me. Unless they look cute, then it is me.

Unless they're really hot. And then I'll take the demerit points. Exactly. Take my license. You're like, that's me done. But it's really fucking awkward when someone asks you because the last thing you want to do is give away some of your demerit points and then you end up needing them.

You need them in the future. I'm not going to disclose who it was, my sister. But her husband and his family, a lot of them prone to getting a speeding ticket and they would share around the demerit points so none of them would lose their license. And then my sister, once she was brought into the family name, and they would share around the demerit points so none of them would lose their licence. And then my sister, once she was brought into the family name, then got asked to take points for certain family members.

What a crazy system. I know. Wow. Just how much you pay for fines. I also love that about New Zealand, how little. Like the first time I got a speeding, I think I've got one speeding fine in New Zealand and I was doing 70 in a 60 zone. And let me just say, because it had road work,

so normally it was a 70. Okay. I'm a good girl too. And then I get this fine and it's like $70 and I'm like, ooh. They're not bad. I don't even ever pay for parking because I'm like, parking tickets are not that. If you're parking a P30 and they check it, I don't know,

you might get $40 but you only get it occasionally because I don't think the parking people are really checking that often. No, now they've got cars. Yeah, they do. They've got cars that drive around and do it for them. They what? Yeah. Uh-oh.

It's fucked. Oh, God. I've got to change my ways. We're never going to beat them now. They're unbeatable. The robots They what? Yeah. Uh-oh. It's fucked. Oh, God. I've got to change my ways. We're never going to beat them now. They're unbeatable. The robots have come. Yeah. They're too smart.

I guess it's time to catch the bus. Do you know how much a fine, like one of the smallest fines in Australia is? How much? Like a speeding fine. It might have changed, so it might be more these days, but like a small fine in Australia, so that's like, you know, you're going under 10 kilometres over, is like $380. What?

You know, if you're caught on your phone in Australia now, $1,000. $1,000. $1,000 fucking dollars. My first ever speeding ticket, I was going 53 in a 50 zone, $30. That's not a fine. You get the 10% leeway. No, I don't know if that's 10 I don't wouldn't take that as a rule but I think it was one of those public holidays we're doing extra safe and I was

like 53 it was only 30 bucks I was like when I was taught to drive they were my I guess I was taught by my family and they were like 50 means 55 ignore the signs they're a suggestion yeah they're like 55 you could probably stretch to 57 would i you could probably stretch to 57 i mean it's closer to 60 i would argue yeah when i was on my p plates in australia which means you're provision provisional yeah well we call them restricted. Restricted. Learners are restricted. Restricted. Yeah. Restricted. You have plates when you're unrestricted. Yeah.

So you have your P plates and you get – I think you get five points or four points or something, whereas the normal license you get 12, which I think here it's like 120. So it's the same. Same, same. And so I got done for two speeding fines in a school zone. No. So I got done for two speeding fines in a school zone. I got done going like 56 in a 50 zone and then like same kind of fine. Same on the way home. So essentially I nearly lost all my points the first time

and then the second fine all my points were gone and then you get given this ultimatum, right? So they give you this ultimatum where they say, right, you've lost your licence, you've lost all your points, so you can lose your licence for three months or do you want to risk going on one

point for a year? So you have to be perfect for a full year. So if you don't get any fines in a year on one point, you then go back to the full amount, but you don't lose your licence at all. How long do you lose your licence for? Three months.

But if you then get caught during that year on your one point, you lose it for six months. What would you do? I'd do the one point and I would brag about it. Like any time someone got in my car, I'd be like, I'm on one point. I did the fucking one point and i would brag about it like anytime someone got on my car i'd be like i'm on one point i did the fucking one point and i fucking beat him shit my butt butthole was puckered for that whole year though how many kids did you run over by the way when you went through just a couple like nothing you know they were all fine they just had a couple of broken legs you know it wasn't a big deal i got into i got into one of my friend's cars once in Australia.

Such an awkward story. And she picks up this thing from the centre console of her car and I realised that it was a breathalyser. One of those breathalysers that are attached to the engine and you have to blow into it every time before you drive. Oh, my God. Wow. And she hadn't told me before we got into the car and I was like,

do I ask her about it? Do I mention it? Yeah. Anyway, of course I asked her because it was very awkward and I was like, what's that? How was the chat? So she got done for DUI. I can't remember if it was once or twice.

Maybe it was once real bad. And so she had to go on this, you know, program for like a year or something. I'm such an optimist that I'd be like, oh, my God, a free breathalyzer. You're just getting your friends to come over. Everyone, you want to have a go? Have a hoon. At one point they were developing cars that could just like, there was something built in the car that could just sense from your breath.

No. Yeah, and would not work. Really? I swear that's a thing. Yeah, there's no. What if you were like carting around your drunk friend in the back seat and the car's like,

nah, not starting. I think it could even focus on where you were sitting in the car. That's creepy. Isn't that crazy? That's so creepy. The robots. The robots are tapping.

They're taking over. All right, guys. Well, we'll be, no podcast for three days. Yeah. Right, Claude? Long weekend. We're in over. All right, guys. Well, we'll be no podcast for three days. Yeah. Right, Claude? Long weekend. We're in a long weekend here.

Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. So we'll see you next week, gay boys. I was talking to you, Eli. Thank you. Just gay boy. I'm just one.

Sorry, one gay boy. I do represent all of us. Right. Zidane's Bray and Clint. On Insta. Facebook. TikTok. to you Eli thank you just gay boy I'm just one sorry one gay boy I do represent all of us