ZM's Bree & Clint - Bree's Christmas Chaos - 19th December 2023

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Featuring Laura Daniel!  Laura'a smutty fiction.  Did you get a Xmas bonus?  Yellow flags.  The partner test.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Oh, Brianna! Breeze Christmas Chaos with special guest Laura Daniel. There she is! Morning, everyone. Just gone 6am on the dot. Welcome to the show, comedian, all-round GB, Laura Daniel. Kia ora, Brianna. How are we?

I'm very good. How are we doing? Thanks for coming in so bloody early. Yeah, my alarm hasn't gone off that early in a while. Normally you're still up from the night before. Yeah, absolutely. Just an hour through, baby. The last time I saw you, we were at the casino on the tables and the staff were like, you guys need to go home.

Yeah. What, like they haven't seen people come in absolutely trollied at 4am before? Guys, you've seen it all before. Grow up. Hey, we've got a really fun show planned for you guys this morning. We will take you all the way through till 9am. We're going to kick it off with tradie versus lady. $50 cash up for grabs.

You guys know the drill. We need a tradie and a lady to play. Pretty much just two people. Two people to play. 0800 dial ZM right now if you want a chance at winning that 50 bucks cash. It's time for a game of tradie versus lady. It's tradie versus lady. Three, two, one, let's go.

Here we are, Laura Daniel, the first time experiencing a game of tradie versus lady. We've been keeping score all year. The tradies on 105, the ladies out in front on 114. Naturally. Naturally. They've had a good year. They've had a good year. Let's meet our contestants for the morning.

Let's go to the ladies first. She's from Auckland. She's 37 and she doesn't like tomato sauce. Welcome to the show, Emma. Morning. Morning, Emma. You don't like tomato sauce. How un-Kiwi are you?

Very un-Kiwi. No, I don't. Ever since I've had kids, I just don't like the taste of tomato sauce. Wow. Okay. Barbecue? Is that your thing? Yeah, barbecue. What about burger is that your thing? Yeah, barbecue, I always.

What about burger sauce? That's pretty popular nowadays. Yeah, burger sauce is good. What about the time that they tried to mix mayonnaise and tomato sauce in one bottle? No. What a disaster that was. What a disaster.

Okay, let's meet who you're taking on this morning, Emma. He's from Rotorua. He's 23, and he plays rugby for Maungata. Welcome to the show, Connor. How's it going? Good, mate. What position? I'm a halfback.

Oh, yeah. Nice. That's my favourite position, actually. You don't know what it is, do you? No. That is one of the playmaking positions, right, Connor? Yeah, good. I'm not as handsome as Aaron Smith, but I play basketball. I like it. That is one of the playmaking positions, right, Connor? Yeah, give or take.

Not as handsome as Aaron Smith, but I play him as well. I like it. I like the vibes. All right, guys, here's the rules. Laura's going to be reading out the questions. When you think you know the answer, Emma, your buzzer is a lady. Connor, your buzzer is tradie. First to get three questions right wins the $50 cash. Are you both ready?

Yep. All right, Laura, take it away. Your first question is, how long is an Olympic swimming pool in metres? Three. I'm going to say Emma just got in. 50 metres? What was that, Em?

50 metres. 50 metres is correct? Absolutely. Nice one to the ladies. All right, next question. What was that, Em? 50 metres. 50 metres is correct. Absolutely. Nice. One to the ladies. All right. Next question. Anna, Elsa, Kristoff and Olaf are all characters in what animated film?

I'm going to say Emma just got in again. Okay. Frozen. Frozen, of course, is the correct answer. Two to the ladies. Okay. Your third question. Who sings this song? It's beginning to look a lot like...

Yes, Connor. Michael Bublé. Yeah, he's on the board. Nice work. We like it. It's two to the ladies, one to the tradies. Can he get up there to make it match point? What geometric shape is generally used for stop signs?

Lady. Emma just got in. Octagon? She's taken it out. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Jeez, that could have gone either way, but Emma, you are triumphant and

you've won the $50 cash this morning. Awesome. Thank you, guys. Nice work and Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you all too. We need to talk about what a yellow flag is. Well, Brianna. Mum? I'm here. Come from over the ditch. Well, a yellow flag historically used to be something that would put on a ship to signal to the incoming port that there is disease on the ship or it needs to be quarantined.

Is that actually what it was? Yeah. Because what was scurvy was the disease that was commonly spread. Here we go. We're just sharing facts about yellow flags. But tell me specifically what is a yellow flag in a relationship? Well, because red flags, obviously, we've known about for a long time. Then they brought up beige flags more recently.

Yeah. So a red flag is obviously something where you're like, run. You don't want to be in a relationship with this person. Then you had beige flags, which are like minor things where you can love a person anyway, including their beige flags. Okay. And then they're saying that a yellow flag is kind of like a warning sign, so similar to what you were saying.

Yeah. On the ship. Quarantine yourself away from this person you're dating. They are diseased. They are diseased. And it says a yellow flag is a warning sign to help you avoid red flags altogether before it happens. Okay. I've looked into more specifically what those yellow flags might be.

And I think some of them are just straight red flags. Okay. But let's go through the list. Give me some. Okay. So the first one is they spend all of their time with you oh too much too much that's being too full-on isn't it so coming on too strong at the start yeah like maybe you've only been together a very short amount of time and then they do a flash mob

for you would we call that a yellow would you like that if someone you were dating did a flash say joseph your husband if he he did a flash mob for me. If we'd only been dating under a year and he did a flash mob for me, I would call that a yellow flag. And if we'd been dating over a year and he didn't do a flash mob for me, I'd also call that a yellow flag. Fair enough. We'll talk about when he did a flash mob to propose to you later.

Number two, they are unwilling to compromise. That's a straight red flag to me. It is a red flag. I think. Number three, they have no hobbies or interests. Turns out I'm a walking yellow flag. Does anyone really have hobbies? Not really.

Yes, you do. What are your hobbies? Yellow flag, yellow flag. Margaritas. That's a hobby. That is a hobby. Learning how to make them and drink them. Going to the gym. Health, recreational fitness.

What about the fan? What's the fiction that you're reading at the moment? Oh, yeah, I've gotten into reading. Well, there you go. That the moment? Oh, yeah, I've gotten into reading. Well, there you go. That could be a hobby. Yes, I never was into reading before. A boring hobby, but.

Oh, just you wait, Brianna. We'll talk about it later. I'll delve deeper into that. Let's roll through this list. Four, they have no friends. Oh. Five, they have a history of failed relationships. Don't we all?

Yeah. But maybe they're a bit jaded and they bring that baggage into your relationship. Which again, I would say kind of coming into red flag territory. Kind of. But I mean, I've got so much baggage I can barely bloody move sometimes. Number six, constantly withholds information. That's a red flag to me. Yeah.

That's a red flag. Number. Yeah. That's a red flag. Number seven, they don't respect boundaries. Number eight, they aren't close or too close with family members. I mean, but depends. It can depend on the situation. Yeah, well, I guess you're looking to make a family with this person. So they need to be, yeah. Some of these things you put on the list,

I can see why they would be yellow flags because some of it can be unlearned. Yeah. And it can be developed. So it's not necessarily a. I see what you're saying. I can fix them. Is what you're going to get. Always the optimist.

Who's really into UFC on the list? Weird. I'm quite into UFC And yes, it's on the list It is absolutely on the list Loves the Joe Rogan podcast That's on the list Doesn't watch the 10,000 Insta Reels

You send them every day That's on the list When someone hearts stuff Like if I send them a real funny thing And you heart it It really annoys me Because I'm like, I worked hard on this, thought you would enjoy it. Where's my comment back? You know? I don't have to send these to

you. I could be sending these to anyone. This is curated. Exactly right. I'm doing your work for you by scrolling meticulously through. And the last one on the list for yellow flags, it turns out these are warning signs for red flags. They have consistent debt. Oh, yeah. Don't we all? I'm just starting to figure out that I might be a big walking yellow flag. Can you imagine? Someone goes, oh, you got a home loan?

Yellow flag. Yellow flag, I'm out. I'm so sorry. Christmas is fast approaching, isn't it? Ho, ho, ho. It is. How, isn't it? Ho, ho, ho. It is. How many nights? How many days?

Okay, wait. No one Google it. Okay. Everyone have a guess. Wait. I'm going to say. Are we including today? Including tonight, yeah.

One, two, three. I'm just going to throw a number. Six. Yeah. What you said. How many? All five. Days till.

Five. Five? Okay. I'm? Or five. Days till. Five. Five? Okay. I'm locking in five. Six. Oh! You just won Christmas. Just took it out, depending where you are in the world.

You know, I've actually been seeing a lot recently about, there's a bit of discord. Should you get your pet a Christmas present? Absolutely. You've got two? I've got, there's no question for me, my dogs will be getting a Christmas present. Absolutely. You've got two? I've got, there's no question for me, my dogs will be getting a Christmas present. Like even growing up, even growing up in my family, like we had a lot of pets because I grew up on a farm.

Our dog, Bella, who was literally a member of our family, had a stocking, like they all had a stocking. I love that. Yeah. Because you've got a cat. Are you getting your cat? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Martin? I'm going to put a price limit on it, you know, just like $600, $700.

He's getting an empty box and he's going to love it. He will bloody love that. You know it's funny you say that, that you're like, oh, I'll put a price limit on it. I did some research on this. You know a quarter of pet owners say they'll spend the same or more on their pets than they would on their children or partner for Christmas.

Did you guys know that? I mean, I get it. I get it. Someone asked me the other week, they were like, Laura, because you're a mother, right? You've got a child. And I said, just with all sincerity, oh, no, I've got a cat. Like, it's the same thing. It's the same. But no, people, there is an argument that, you know,

your pet doesn't know it's Christmas. That doesn't matter. To this I say, does your one-year-old human child know it's Christmas? No, they don't. They don't. You're still going to get them a little prezzy, aren't you? Absolutely. It's the joy of Christmas. It's the magic. What about you, Claude? You've got a dog and a cat that you love. I started to ironically just be like, oh, that's funny. Give them a present.

And now I do it definitely just unironically. Every year they get a little something. Like just one each? Yeah. Well, I'm giving them a toy and a treat. Hope they're not listening right now. I feel like getting, well, for my dogs, actually it's not the same. I was going to say I feel like getting a toy for dogs is like buying a child clothes.

The worst gift. But it's not the same because dogs love toys. Yeah. But how bad was it? Can I just say a PSA for people? Don't buy children clothes. I know that they need them and it's good to slip it in there so you don't have to just buy them on the side.

Getting clothes as a kid made me so angry. I was like, I don't want this. And you want to pick it yourself. Yeah. That's the other thing. If you have cousins or something can you you get given a present and it's slightly different to what the other kids get you get so jealous that's the lesson get everyone the exact same thing otherwise it's going to be drama christmas is like i can

imagine for people with kids like so hectic because if you can't get two of the same thing then there's no point in getting it absolutely you. You know, if you've got two kids, no point. Do you want to hear some of these other statistics I've got on people buying gifts for their pets? Yes. So 60% of owners will only spend the same on their pets as their human friends. So 60% of people will spend the same money on their pets as they do on their friends. Half will receive presents.

So half of pets will receive presents from their friends and extended members of the family. So my mum buys my dog presents. Heck yeah. And she loves doing it. Yeah. Like loves it. More than 50% of pets will receive a Christmas stocking. You got to get them a stocking.

Perfect. Yeah. Got to get them a stocking. The joy of watching their face try to dig into a... And it's also a stocking. Perfect. Yeah, got to get him a stocking. The joy of watching their face try to dig into a... And it's also a choking hazard. More than half will be treating their pet to their own Christmas dinner. Oh. Yeah.

I'll probably just give them my off cuts, I think. I'll give my cat some fancy feast, but with an exchange card in case it's not the one he wanted. It's time to head to Hollywood. From iHeartRadio, this is The Latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, the Beckhams have another doco out. What's this one about?

This one is so brilliant. So Brooklyn Beckham got married last year to Nicole Peltz. She's absolutely gorgeous. And the new doco, I shouldn't laugh, but it's around the fact that she was a bridezilla. Happens to the best of us. Happens to the best of us. Well, I haven't been a bride nor a bridezilla.

But here's what happened. So basically, you know, they got married to 500 guests down in Miami near Palm Beach. Like, super fabulous. And there was obviously no expense spared. There's now been multiple lawsuits around things like the flower arrangement. And apparently the new doco, it just really reveals that Nicole was just an absolute nightmare to deal with. Not Brooklyn.

Apparently he's kind of like humble. You kind of get that vibe, don't you? I feel like you get that vibe. Yeah, he seems pretty. He seems that vibe. Yeah, he seems pretty... He's back from kids. He seems quite chill. But the thing that I have kind of noticed is her family, she comes from a family of billionaires. And, I mean, he's obviously from a family that's not too... not doing too bad either.

A family of millionaires. A family of millionaires. But what I read is that her family, who was paying for this multi, multi-million dollar wedding, they hired these wedding planners and then stuff obviously wasn't moving or happening as they wanted so they're suing them now for the deposit that they gave them. And the deposit's like $237,000 which, I mean, a lot of money, but in

the scheme of billions. It's a sneeze. It's a sneeze for them. Did they have any famous musicians play at their wedding? How much did their wedding cost? I don't know. Millions. Was it $4 million or something?

Yeah. I think they might have. I don't know. They definitely would have. It was kind of tight-lipped. We didn't see a lot of photos from it. There wasn't a lot of inside gossip. It's only coming out now in these documentaries about how dramatic it all played out. I definitely would have. It was kind of tight-lipped. We didn't see a lot of photos from it. There wasn't a lot of inside gossip.

It's only coming out now in these documentaries about how dramatic it all played out. Funny that that's only coming out now in the doco. Maybe people want people to watch the doco. It's called Pelts Beckhams versus the Planners, and you can watch it right now. It's out. Thank you, Dean, for that update. Pleasure.

Appreciate it. We'll be back. You know I love good brothers, do you love them it right now. It's out. Thank you, Dean, for that update. Pleasure. Appreciate it. We'll be back. You know I love good brothers, do you love? I know. Dean, I can't wait to come to your wedding. It's going to be havoc. Thanks, Dean. It'll be tears.

Laura Daniel joins me this morning. And I'm excited to hear about what has gripped you so much in this new fiction that you're now a reader. Well, look, I've kind of gotten into the fantasy genre. has gripped you so much in this new fiction that you're now a reader? Well, look, I've kind of gotten into the fantasy genre. It was bound to happen at some point. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. So, you know, for people that used to be into – no, no, okay.

There's a new genre of book, right? Okay, so there's young adult books. So that is like, you know, your Hunger Games. Okay. Your Twilight. Your Twilight, you know, all stuff like that. And often like a lot of these have like a romance plot line, things like that. There's this new genre called New Adult. Wait, wait, wait. So what was the first one? Young Adult. And this one's New Adult. What about Bad Adult? Because that's me. I still eat cheese out of the bag. Those are self-help books and you should read those. I'll recommend you a few.

Screw you. But I need them. Can you please send them through? Yeah, I will. Now, this new adult genre. So a lot of listeners out there are probably on board with what I'm saying, I imagine. Because there's books out there at the moment that are like, you know, Eckhart Tolle, which is a Court of Thorn and Roses,, because, you know, there's books out there at the moment that are like, you know, Akatar, which is a court of thorn and roses,

Fourth Wing, you know, Throne of Glass. Is there quite a following? Oh. Like with these new adults? Millions. Millions. I was really embarrassed about getting into this genre because it's also kind of romantic-y,

which is romance and fantasy blended together. Now, the key difference, okay, some things in these types of books, to give you some context, they're fantasy worlds, you know, not unlike our own, but you know, they've got subtle differences. There's weird rituals that can often happen, you know, as you come of age. Do any of these books have chastity belts in them? Yeah, they can. You're like, sky's the limit. They've often got, you know,

different weird tonics for contraception, I guess. What are you into? And they've got hot versions of traditional mythical creatures and or animals. Like a centaur? Yeah. You dream it, baby. It's probably in there. Dragons. Dragons that you think are pretty hot. Do we have an example of what this sounds like? Yeah, so look, I've been reading a lot of them, but I've also, like, I do listen to audio books as well.

And one time I was, I had left, so here's the key difference between new adult and young adult. Young adult, it's fun, it's a journey, and then as a romance happen, it kind of fades to black. Whereas with new adult, it's spicy. And I'm talking filthy. My nan used to read books like this. What was the Boone, what was those books?

Those saucy books. Do you remember those? Mills and Boone? Mills and Boone. Yeah, yeah. Were they saucy books? Yeah, they were. They had that big blonde buff man on the cover, right?

Fabio. Yeah. So these are like kind of young adults that are, you know, actually of age where they can get a little bit saucy. Now, I was listening to an audio book one night and I – no, I didn't have it on in my headphones. I was just blasting it in our room and I absolutely fell asleep and my husband came to bed later and he –

So it wasn't that saucy then because you fell asleep Well yeah you don't understand how many hours I've been putting in listening to these books but the bit I was listening to was not saucy however it kept playing on full blast and my husband walks in and it is just the filthiest stuff you've ever heard

And he's like what is going on? He didn't turn it off He just sat there and listened. Just woke you up. He's like, okay, so this is what you're getting into reading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do we have an example? Yeah, I've got an example.

Well, I don't know how broadcastable it is, but I've got some examples. Claude, how broadcastable is this? They've been censored for radio play. Okay, great. Let's have a listen at this new genre. His ragged breathing was the only

sound and his hands soon began roaming across my back and sides, caressing and teasing and bearing me to him. When my travelling fingers reached his mouth, he bit down on one. Alright, we get it. That's pretty PG.

You got something spicy yet? His fingers clamped on her n***a, drawing just enough pain that she went, holy w***, he growled. And she sk***ed a hand against his heart, squeezing. He's what? She lifted her head and met his darkened stare, baring her teeth. I thought about your head between... Okay.

All right, all right. You get the idea. It's very saucy. Yeah, so there is great world building and great characters, but there's also a lot of spicy, spicy content. Have you given it a go, writing a bit yourself? You know what, Brianna? I have.

Are we going to hear some of that? Yeah. I'm an actor, and I do voice acting as well. And I thought, well, maybe I should get into this. I listen to enough audio books. So I actually thought, you know what? Here we go. I'm ready to create some of my own writing.

Here we go. All right. Okay. Now, just a warning. It's not about you. The character just happens to have the same name. What? Me.

As in me. Oh, God. Okay. As in me? Yeah, keep in mind. Okay, I feel uncomfortable. Okay, here we go. This is my first debut novel. Brianna, come inside! My mother yelled from the old shack where we lived in the land of Queenslandia.

But I didn't want to come inside. Especially not today. It was my 19th birthday. And in Queensland It was my 19th birthday. And in Queenslandia on your 19th birthday, you're given two things. One is a ruby that lights up a certain color. And depending on the color, that is what your job will be. The other thing you are given is 12 beers. Brianna, come inside.

My mother kept yelling, but I couldn't. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me before I tripped on a rogue snake and landed by a billabong under the shade of a coolaba tree. My knee was grazed badly. I tried to stand, but fell back down. You're hurt. Let me heal you. A calming but sexily deep voice rang out from the bushes.

Who? What was that? I lifted my bow and arrow in self-defense. Put it down. Your human arrows are no match for me, the voice continued. The bushes rustled

and he emerged, six foot nine, muscles gleaming under the Queensland, dear son. Enormous eyes, a deep black, no white fists,

just all black pupils, black nose, soft ears, and covering every inch of his toned body was soft, cuddly grey fur. He was the hottest koala I've ever seen. They are so hot. He stroked my face, the tips of his claws lightly grazing my heaving breasts. As he followed a path down my body towards the graze on my knee.

He closed his eyes and in a flash of light, my knee was healed. Now, Brianna, he continued. Brianna, he knew my name. Let's do some. Okay, I'll stop it there because the character Brianna absolutely goes to town on that koala. Guys, I think we need to go to a song. One, because I'm feeling a bit hot and heavy. And two, I've just been with a koala and they have chlamydia.

If anyone wants the rest of that story, you can message me. I'll sell it to you. It's a great Christmas present. Text us on 9696 if you want that saucy novel. 50,000. Ocean Alley Confidence on ZM with Breeze Christmas Chaos. That was chaos, Laura. Few people texting through asking where they can buy that novel,

your first go at writing new adult fiction. Yeah. Great Christmas stocking filler. It fills the whole stocking. Yeah, but you're going to need some cold showers. About me having a rendezvous with a koala. I said it should be called Eucalyptus Ecstasy and then you said no, the novel's called...

Bushfire. Bushfire of Desire. There it is. Wow. You actually have to write this now. The people want it. I see we've got a lot of fourth wing fans coming through as well. Yeah, a few people loving fourth wing. Maybe I need to get into this new genre. Yeah. But before we do that, let's have a game of Let's Get

Classical. Cool. A game where producer Claude runs it actually. And how does it work Claude? So this is Let's Get Classical I've taken a pop song usually from the ZM playlist And just found a classical version of it And it's your job to guess and tell me what it is You know Laura Daniel is an amazing singer

She writes music, sings music, does all of that You should have a fantastic musical ear. Some would argue that. But I guess we'll find out. I might not know the specific names of these songs. That's a very important part of the game. Is that important? Yes.

That's where I can pick up and say, yeah, I know this one. Maybe I'll ask Bree to give me all the details and you just say yes or no if you know it. Yeah. No, no, I'll give it a go. I'll give it a go. Come on, bring it on. I'll start the song, just buzz in with your name,

and I'm looking for the artist and the name of the song. Ready? Ready. Here we go. Bree. Hi, Laura. Bree. I do know that one.

Oh, who sings it? You know this. Say So. Yeah. Brie. I do know that one. Who sings it? You know this. It's Say So. Yeah. Doja Cat. Got it. Love me some Doja Cat. We got it at the exact same time.

Okay. Hang on. Here's another one. Oh. Brie. Brie. It's Rita Ora. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I don't want to be sad songs anymore. Your song? Yes. I don't want to hear sad songs anymore. No, good. I do not need that. See, you're on it.

Give me another one. Now I'm getting competitive. Okay, here's another one. Laura. Laura. Ariana Grande, Seven Rings. You got it. Nailed it.

Yeah, you just paused to let me have that one. Give us another one. I think that's all she's got. Yeah, that's all of them. Damn it. Well, you'll just have to come back have that one. Give us another one. I think that's all she's got. Yeah, that's all of them. Damn it. Well, you'll just have to come back and play again. Okay. Now I'm into the game. It's a good game, eh? Yeah, so these are just all songs

that featured on Bridgerton. Pretty much. Awesome. Claude makes saucy I know how to play all those instruments. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Looking at producer Claude, what instrument do you think she plays? The soon. God, she nailed it. That makes a lot.

I would have said the oboe. Six days till Christmas, guys. Which means the shops are going to be chaos. Yeah. Absolute havoc. I was just talking about going out to hit Sylvia Park and immediately I'm rethinking that. It'll take you you I remember the worst part about going to the shops I think

is the car park. Yeah. You can never find a car park and it's just I spend most of my time doing that and I'm exhausted by the time I get into the shops. A great time to try out public transport Brie. Or park in the pram parks. I have two dog babies. I've got two dog babies. They've got their dog seats in the backam parks. I have two dog babies.

I've got two dog babies. They've got their dog seats in the back. Look, let's talk presents because it's always quite stressful, especially when you're dating someone that's hard to buy for. Yeah. I came across these two girls who were talking about presents to avoid buying your girlfriend because it looks lazy and it looks like you haven't put much thought into it so i think we should go through

the list and we can decide if we agree or not uh so the girls names are alex and sally they're from a podcast called two broke chicks and here comes the first present to avoid. Things to not buy your girlfriend for Christmas. F*** love heart necklace. Don't do it. She said the F word. A love heart necklace is what it was. A love heart necklace, they said, is just a generic necklace.

We don't want them. We've probably got a million of them. What do you think? Hmm. Yeah. If it's like a generic, you know, love heart necklace from Lovisa. Probably not. But if it's like sentimental and there's like engraving on it,

it can be nice. Yeah. I mean, I don't want one. I've got some thoughts on this, but I'll let you read out the rest of the list. Okay. Here comes number two. A teddy bear or a stuffed toy. Creepy. She's not a child.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. I don't want a stuffed toy. I don't want a stuffed toy. No one wants a stuffed toy. Nah. Just avoid that. Unless she collects them. Yes. Well, no, I'm a soft toy. No one wants a soft toy. Nah. Just avoid that. Unless she collects them.

Yes. Well, no, I'm a grown woman. I buy my own soft toys. Different type of toy. Next one. A present that is really just a present for you. Right. Oh, okay.

So that'd be like tickets to the UFC. I thought we'd love this together, babe. Don't you love monster trucks? You love it, don't you? Yeah, put a little bit more effort in than that. Yeah, don't buy a present that is clearly, you know, a present for you. Maybe it's tickets to the rugby. She doesn't watch rugby.

I got you this Nintendo Switch controller. And saying that, Nintendo Switch is pretty fun. It is pretty fun. It's pretty cool. But you need to know that she's into it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it has to be a present for her.

And vice versa. Here comes number something. Gold or silver jewellery, if you don't know, they're two different girlies. If you don't know, don't buy it. That's important. This is a big one. Yeah.

Yeah, you need to, if you don't know if your partner is gold or silver wearing, then avoid it. Absolutely. Or find out. Find a friend. Phone a friend. You can always phone a friend. But also, look, I would say trust your algorithms. Okay? Because if you're in

a relationship, there's no way your partner's not sending you reels or like going up and whispering into your phone, diamond ring, diamond ring, diamond ring. So then that's all that's getting advertised to you. It's probably getting advertised to you for a reason. Because she's talking about it. Us girls are cuckoo. Well, we're getting an insight into your relationship and how you got engaged.

Here comes the next one. Lingerie. It's a gift for yourself and you don't know what she wants. Okay, let her buy it. 99% sure you don't know her size either. Lingerie. Not a gift for her, a gift for you. What do you think, Laura?

Do you like lingerie? As someone that has been gifted lingerie once. Really? I did have to go and get the correct size. But did they just go out and buy it and like give it to you? Yeah, they like did call a friend though and my

friend had to like guess what size I was. Oh, well that's not ideal and then you had to go and exchange it. Yeah, and it was classy. It was classy. It wasn't you know. Smutty. Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't. Crotchless panties. It wasn't, you know, smutty. Yeah, it wasn't crotchless panties. It wasn't, let's put on a book. This is a licorice G-string.

Well, no one's ever bought lingerie for me. Oh, there's always a first. I guess that's saying something. Well, there you go. There are the presents to avoid buying this Christmas. But you know what? Yep. It's a thought that counts.

If you put effort in, doesn't matter how much something costs or whatever, put effort in, put thought in, that's the main thing. I had this conversation with someone recently as well, and they had scented candle on the list. Oh, okay. Yeah, which I disagree with as well because I actually think scented candles, it's something that you need to know that they like them. Yeah.

If you got given like a Jo Malone candle. Oh, hell yeah. You're not going to buy that for yourself. But if you get gifted it, you'll be like, nummy. I like a candle. Yeah. I'm keen for the candles. Yeah, well, I'll get you a Glade candle out.

No, you're buying me lingerie. We covered that. Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's time for Birthday Banks. Brie and Clint. All I want for my birthday is a birthday banger. Now, Laura Daniel, first time filling in here on the Bree and Clint show, Bree's Christmas

Chaos, and Birthday Banger, very popular. People call us, they tell us their birthdays. We tell them what was the number one song on their 16th, and then you and I will decide what song we play out in full. Wow, wow, we will. All right, so let's do the Mahi. Let's talk to McGregor first. G'day, McGregor.

Hi, how's it going? Good, mate. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. Good to have you on the show. What's your birthday? 31st of the 8th, 1994. All right, that means, McGregor, you were 16 in 2010.

And let me take you back to your 16th with this one. Oh, a hit. Oh, what a banger. What an absolute tune. Tayo Cruz. We love some Tayo Cruz. What do you think, McGregor? It's not too bad.

It's pretty good. Not too bad. I used to play this at kids' parties. I used to be a disco fairy. Did you? Yeah. Oh, no. You're like, let me hit play on this play this at kids' parties. I used to be a disco fairy. Did you? Yeah. Oh, I'm not. You're like, let me play on this one for you kids.

It's a good one, McGregor. Stick around. It could take it out here this morning. But we've got to talk to Chelsea. Morning, Chelsea. Morning. Merry Christmas, mate. Merry Christmas.

Are you off on holidays yet or still work? No, we've got our kids' prize giving and last day of school today, so my year 8 finishing today, so on the home straight. Wait, so are kids still at school? Yeah, they've held out really long because they don't go back till really late. Yeah, right.

Okay, well, that's good. I'd rather, you know, do it now. I wasn't at school that long ago, actually, so I knew that. Good for my Christmas shopping. Yeah, it is't in school that long ago, actually, so I knew that. Good for my Christmas shopping. Yeah, it is. Chels, what's your birthday? 1st of February, 1987.

All right, mate. That means you were 16 in 2003. And on the 1st of Feb, 2003, this was number one. Oh, Chelsea, Big Brothers, New Flow. Do you like it? Yeah, I remember having spaghetti and cheese toasties, hanging out with friends. Listening to that.

I like it. That song recently remixed, so it was back in the charts. Yeah, it's a good one, Chelsea. I'd be stoked with that. Let's go one last one for Erica. Morning, Erica. Good morning. Whereabouts in the country are you at the moment, Erica?

In the very muggy, mighty Waikato. Oh, it's muggy around the country today, isn't it? I'm hoping to get some volume in my hair, actually. It's the only time of year it happens. You know what? I like your attitude, Erica. Who needs a Dyson ear wrap? Yeah, we've got... Get to Hamilton.

Who pushed the horn? We've got humidity. Erica, what's your birthday? It is 19th March, 1982. All right, Erica, you were 16 in 1998. And this is your birthday banger. Oh, no. It's a tune from Will Smith.

Laura and I are absolutely boogieing up a storm in here. What do you think, Erica? You can't not. My two-year-old's even moving. Hell, yeah. That's when you know it's good. That's when you know it's good. All right, hang tight.

It's time for Laura and I to discuss and vote. What are your thoughts? Look, three strong contenders there. To be honest, I'd be happy to play any of those. I would too, actually. Is this a toss a coin situation? Oh, God. Okay, I need to go.

Two of them, big kids party bangers. Anthems. Anthems. Which ones? And getting jiggy with it. I feel like you do getting jiggy with it at the school disco many times. Yeah, totally. New Flow, pretty good song. Pretty good song.

Are we thinking? Maybe. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah. No, you can't be thinking what I'm thinking because I'm having dirty thoughts. I'm voting for new flow. You can decide what you want to vote for. If we disagree, producer Claude will make the decision.

Okay. I want to disagree with you just to cause a bit of drama I like it on the air I like it and not because I don't want to

hear that song so it will come down to you let's say I'm going to put a bit in for the original one I heard

Dynamite I've got a strong connection to Tao Cruz I like that vibe producer Claude has the deciding vote

you can vote for any of those songs Claude what are you going with those are the two that I was

already tossing up with. And Laura can have the repercussions later. I'm going with Dynamite. Oh. That means we're wrestling later. And, McGregor, you've taken it out this morning. I like it. Let's go, McGregor.

Wow, you are. What he said. This is Tayo Cruz, Dynamite on ZM Your birthday banger, Tayo Cruz Dynamite for your Tuesday It's just gone 8.15 here at ZM Breeze Christmas Chaos with Laura Daniel I want to talk about this story I saw, Laura,

because it gives me hope. It gives me light, gives me hope, and it's about a company that dished out a huge Christmas bonus to their 200 employees. Taylor Swift. Yeah, she's dishing out the bonuses all over the place. She's single-handedly saving the American economy. She also gave one to her boyfriend, Travis Kelsey.

She's like, you get a bonus. Mum, you get a bonus. No, it wasn't Taylor Swift. It was a company called St John Properties, and I believe that they do property development for commercial and residential real estate. Doesn't matter. We don't really need to talk about that.

We need to talk about the staggering amount of money they dished out amongst their 200 employees. Okay. Hit me with it. So I've done the conversion, and I believe it's a US company, so I've done the conversion. $16 million New Zealand dollars. What?

Was divided between the 200 employees. Okay. So let's play some audio of one of the bosses telling everyone at the Christmas party about the bonuses. Everybody is important in this company and everybody performs in this company. They really do. And I got to tell you, you're all participating in a bonus based on the number of years of $10 million. And now you can open your red envelope. I was totally blown away when this happened.

Yeah, you would have been. Look, he said depending on the amount of years you've worked at the company, depended on your bonus. But I figured out like divided between 200 staff would be about 80 grand. 80 grand. Each. Wow. So, and then I guess if you'd been working there 10 years.

You'd probably get some more. A lot more. You'd get more than someone who'd been there for a year or two years. Like 20 grand. Still, that's like, I would say any amount of grand is good. Do you know how much I got for a Christmas bonus? How much? Nothing.

Because here's the thing about contractors. You work for yourself. Absolutely. You should go buy yourself something as a Christmas bonus. I should. Yeah. I, one year, like at the radio station I used to work at, our Christmas bonus for all the staff was a Christmas ham.

I got one of those. Yeah. When I worked as a lifeguard. Oh, sorry. Assistant manager at Pointer Impulse. Thank you very much. Did they actually dish out the hams? Yeah.

That's quite a common thing, I feel like, at Christmas time for workplaces. Well, it's kind of like, I guess, a Christmas ham can be up to, you know, $100. Yeah, absolutely. It can cost a bit. Al's got cancelled the radio station I used to work at. They cancelled the Christmas hams because one of the employees wasn't there that day and they left the ham on his desk and it rotted over Christmas break. And they were like, no more Christmas hams. Yeah.

And we blamed him every year after that. Did you get anything else instead? Nah. They just cancelled them all together. Yeah, well, I mean, what about the vegetarians? Yeah, they get a Christmas tofu, like a big, giant thing of tofu. Do you mean like a tofurkey? Yeah.

Because those are actually quite good. Tofurkey. I am a vegetarian myself. Absolutely. I had too many Christmas ham bonuses. You're like, what am I going to do with this? Yeah. I thought we could put it out there this morning.

We'd love to hear from you on 0800DIALS at M or you can text us on 9696. Do you get a Christmas bonus? It can be money. It can be an experience. It can be a gift. We'd just like to know what are you getting so we can vicariously live through you? Cheeky kiss on the cheek. A high five. What are you getting for a Christmas bonus at your work? And maybe it was somewhere you used to work, but what's the best bonus you ever got? 0800 dial ZM or you can text us on 9696. We'll take your calls after this. I believe Christmas miracles do exist because a company over in the States called St. John Properties has dished out $16 million to 200 staff members. Obviously, they didn't get $16 million each. It got spread between 200 people, but figured it out. It's

about 80 grand. On average. On average. It's perfect. It's a lot of money, life-changing money. It is. That's life-changing at the end of the year. None of them knew that it was happening either, which is wild. So we're asking you on 0800 dial ZM, do you get a Christmas bonus? And what was it? Let's talk to Anonymous first. Hello, Anonymous. Hi. What do you get for a Christmas bonus? Well, my teacher gave everyone in the class a candy cane and a beach ball this year. Wait a sec. So you're at school and you got a Christmas bonus? Yeah.

Oh, pretty good. What did you rather, the beach ball or the candy cane? The beach ball, probably. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Is that your favourite teacher? Yeah. Oh, pretty good. Our teacher gave us nothing. Have a your favourite teacher? Yes. Oh, pretty good.

Our teacher gave us nothing. Have a good Christmas, Anonymous. Okay, thank you. You too. See you later. A lot of text coming through on this. Someone said Christmas bonus last year was $30,000. They said they work at a law firm.

Okay. $30,000. You're probably doing already pretty well if you work at a law firm. I mean, if the bonus is 30k, they'd be doing pretty bloody good. Yeah, 30k is also quite life-changing, isn't it? Yeah, it is very life-changing. Let's talk to Shane on 0800 dials at M. G'day, Shane. G'day, how are you? We're good, mate. What was the best Christmas bonus you ever received? Nothing like 80k or 30k, but 5K was pretty good.

Hell yeah. 5K. Were you shook or did you know the 5K was coming? Nah, it was kind of a discretionary bonus that we used to get. So depending on how well you did that year, it was dependent on your bonus. So it was obviously a pretty good year. Pretty bloody good year for you, Shane. And that was, did anyone else get more or you weren't really allowed to talk about it?

Of course we talked about it. What do you mean, Shane? We don't hear it, ZM. You've got to compare. Yeah, absolutely, mate. And was yours one of the biggest? Yeah, it was. Always one of the biggest, hey, mate. And was yours one of the biggest? Yeah. Yeah, it was. Good. Always one of the biggest, hey, Shane? You know what they say about someone with a big Christmas bonus.

Yeah. Good presents. Yeah. All right, have a Merry Christmas, Shane. Thanks for calling through. Merry Christmas. See you, mate. A few more texts coming through.

Someone said, this year we got a pay rise, a breakfast shout, gift hamper and $1,000. I've only been employed for two months and I only work 15 hours a week but still got the same as everyone else. Wow. So they got a pay rise, a breakfast shout, a gift hamper and $1,000. I want to work at that place. That's so good.

Another one here on the other end of the scale said they didn't get made redundant this year. It's a win. It's this year. It's a win. It's a win. It's a win. It's hard times. In this economy, a few people that work in healthcare said they never get anything. My partner is a nurse and they don't even get a Christmas party. Oh, that's not fair.

They have to pay for the food and if they want to do something, organise it themselves. That's a bit rough hey if anyone deserves a christmas party or a christmas bonus it's nurses yeah look if you are going to the hospital for whatever reason maybe take them a cookie or something yeah take them something along or they can just you know take some of the drugs at the hospital home as they i'm kidding i think you're gonna need to call that person from the law firm. Are they still on the line? We'll get them back. Time to get the latest.

From iHeartRadio, this is The Latest. Live from LA with Dean McCarthy. Dean, Demi Lovato is engaged, but how long have they been dating? Oh, my goodness. It's only been a few months, I think, that she actually met Jordan Dukes. He is a musician. If you're sitting there in your car like, wait a second, I've never heard of him, that's okay.

None of us have. I'm a morning shade. You don't need your shade visor or tinted windows in your car right now because I'm throwing all the shade from Hollywood. Now, here's the thing, right? So if you look him up, 172,000 followers on Instagram. That's shorter increase now that he's engaged to Demi Lovato. He's got a rocker.

He kind of reminds me of like Travis Barker. Like he's kind of like padded and he's like a rocker. He's this cool guy and they are now engaged. She does love an engagement. I actually recently interviewed Max Eric, who she was engaged to in the pandemic. Do you remember when she randomly got engaged? That is right.

And that was a short amount of time as well, wasn't it? Yeah. So what happened with them? I interviewed him and he really opened up to me. It was really full on. But he basically was like, they met in the pandemic. She slid into his DM. Like it was a DM slide in the Instagram.

They were together for like two months. They got engaged. And like there was a photo of them on the beach where they got engaged and then it was over in like two months. It was all very dramatic and then he set up a paparazzi shoot and he went and sat on the beach where they got engaged and then cried as a fake paparazzi took

photos and then sent the photos of him fake crying into the fake press. That's a big old ick. The moral of the story is this. The moral of the story is this. Jamie Lov the story is this. Demi Lovato loves a shotgun engagement. No shade. And we do wish them well, though. I hope that it is longer living than her.

Mate, I want to see Demi Lovato have some good luck. I want her to be happy. She deserves a break at this point, doesn't she? I saw her on the, I think it was on the Jennifer Hudson show the other day. She was talking about how him and her got tattoos when they were on tour. And he was like I want to get a tattoo for you

and I was like, how long have you been dating? It's never a good idea to get a tattoo with someone you've been dating for two months. Yeah. Let alone 20 years. I got a tattoo with my improv group. And they just broke up, Dean. So what's that saying? I mean, they've done 10 years and it was planned.

Yeah, yeah. So it's all good. It's the tat of death, isn't it? R.I.P. Snort. R.I.P. Snort. Thank you so much, Dean.

We appreciate it, mate. Bye, guys. It's time to put our partners to the test, I think, Laura. It's that time of year where you do that kind of thing. There's a series of tests throughout the year. How long have you been married, you and Joseph?

Nearly a year. Your anniversary is coming up, hey? 30th of December. Good time to put him to the test. Absolutely. So I saw this online. It's going around TikTok at the moment where essentially it's a really simple test where you ask your partner to name a woman. Name a woman and if they name you, that means you're at the forefront of their mind. Okay. If they name a famous person, obviously that's who they're thinking about.

This sounds like it could potentially turn into a yellow flag. It could. It could turn into a yellow flag. We've got some audio here from TikTok. Name a woman. What do you mean by a woman? Just name a name of a woman. A name of a woman?

Any woman. Like Hazel? She's a woman. Like as in our dog? She's a woman a name of a woman any woman like hazel she's a woman like as in our dog she's a woman so we named the dog obviously at the forefront of his mind you've got a cat martin uh not a woman because he's a boy uh but let's put in a call to your husband joseph right now and we're going to put him to the test. Are you ready? I'm literally obsessed with this. Let's go. Hello, Joseph speaking. Hello, Joseph.

It's your wife here. Oh, hello, wife. Could you please do something for me? Could you please name a woman? You. Oh, he's got it. He's got it! I got him trained, baby! You're so lucky, Joseph. That was a test. I went for the number one. Okay, now you're laying it on a bit thick.

Okay? You're laying it on a bit thick now, but you've passed the test. Now you can go enjoy your day. Do you want to hear my number two? Yes. Michelle Obama. I thought it was going to be me. What's your number three? You're seven. Anyway. Have a great day. He's on my list.

The naughty list. Seven? I mean, that's not bad. It's not too bad. He's got quite a few women in his life. Yeah. Yeah. That's top ten. That's top ten.

I'll take it. That's pretty good. And, you know, Michelle Obama's on the list. She's number two. Pretty good. I mean, not bad. That's actually, I'm actually shook he did that. What?

Did you think he was going to say you? Yeah. I don't know. I just thought maybe under pressure he'd try names, just a random, I don't know. Just some, like a famous person. Yeah don't know. Just like a famous person. Yeah. Nah, he crushed it. He killed it.

Should we call my partner? Yeah, there's a door. Oh, no. Okay. I'm going to call my partner, Sophia, and see if she passes the test. Sorry, speaking. Hi, babe, it's me. Oh, hi, babe.

Hey, quick question. The only question, actually. Can you name a woman? Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes! Come on, let's love us!

Oh, you crushed that, babe. You crushed that. Thank you very much. All righty. Have a good day. Okay, bye. Bye. She's not even, like, phased anymore by the weird stuff I make her do.

She's like, all right, have a good day. Just always assume I'm on her ear. That's so cool. And it's crazy because you're her number seven as well. Oh, that's actually, I'm actually so stoked about that. Breeze Christmas Chaos, Laura Daniel, that is it. We are done for the morning. That flew by.

Didn't it? Wow. What did you think? Your first time in radio, was it fun? Yeah. Yeah. Had a few yarns. I had this beautiful instant coffee you made me to stay awake.

I'm not joking. When I was making that, I felt bad giving it to you. It was all right. Like out of that, I felt bad giving it to you. That's right. Like out of ten, what do you rate it? I reckon a two. That's being nice, I think. Yeah, it's drinkable. I drank the whole thing.

How many coffees would you drink a day? Unlimitless. I can drink, I reckon, a plunder of coffee and still go to sleep. What time are you drinking your last coffee? Any time of day. People are like, I can't have a Coca-Cola. It's 6pm. Roll up.

I can't have a tea at 6pm. I'm like, that's going to keep me wired all night. Thank you so much for filling in. Thanks for having me. It's been an absolute delight. What a Christmas treat. What a Christmas treat for us. And hopefully it wasn't too smutty.

I think it's a good Christmas prison idea, though. I think we fell into the smut hole in the 7am hour and then we came back out of it with flying colours. A lot of people were having to have some cold showers after that. If you want to catch the podcast, Everything That Went Down, producer Claude will be popping that wherever you get your podcasts very soon. Probably

in 10-15 minutes. And we'll see you tomorrow. Merry Christmas Laura.