ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree and Clint Bonus Pod - Introducing "The Montoyas"

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

*Warning - Bad Language Not For Small Ears* We wanted to share a brand-new podcast from iHeartRadio with you! The Montoyas is hosted but Rugby League player Marcelo Montoya and his hilarious wife Tayla as they lift the lid on their marriage.  If you like what you hear, follow the podcast on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow: @themontoyaspodcast on TikTok and Instagram About the Podcast: Rugby League star Marcelo Montoya is a clean freak who makes sure everything in his life is ”just so”. His wife Tayla thrives on annoying her husband with her form of hilarious disorder, constantly keeping him on his toes. Once they start talking, the conversation could end up anywhere.     Join in as The Montoya’s lift the curtain on the life and relationship of Aussie imports assimilating into New Zealand as a newly married couple. Think Keeping Up with the Kardashians crossed with Modern Family and tune in for the podcast you never knew you needed.  About The Hosts: Tayla Montoya is an ex-cheerleader, and current radio producer for Jono and Ben on The Hits. Her roots are from a large Italian Australian family, with all the passion and fire that comes with that. Most importantly, she is like that friend at the BBQ that is constantly surprising the group with a new questionable take,  internet-based obsession or just something to annoy her husband. Marcelo Montoya is a Fijian Australian professional rugby league player and brings insight into what it actually means to be a professional sportsman. He is a little bit bogan, and a whole lot of a perfectionist. He strives for everything in his life to be centered and deliberate so he can perform at the highest level, while contending with his wife’s need to try and throw him off balance.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, wonderful Bree and Clint podcast listeners. This is something a little bit different, and this is something you're going to hear a little bit more of from the iHeartRadio family, of which we are a part of, where we are showing you other podcasts within the iHeartRadio network, which might appeal to you as well, because you should always be looking for new and exciting podcasts to add to your pod diet.

Quite like that. And we like these people. We wouldn't put this in our feed if we didn't, and we like these people. We do. We endorse these people. We wouldn't put this in our feed if we didn't and we like these people. We do. We endorse these people. This podcast is called The Montoyas and it tackles marriage one laugh at a time. It features New Zealand warrior sensation Marcelo Montoya. The man.

The man, the myth, the legend, and, of course, his beautiful wife, Taylor. She produces a different radio show. We see her quite a bit. She is great. She's a fellow Aussie just like you. She is, Taylor. She produces a different radio show. We see her quite a bit. She is great. She's a fellow Aussie just like you. She is, yeah. She's living wag life, but she's also working her ass off at the same time as well. He's playing for the Warriors week in, week out.

So it'll be an interesting glimpse into what that type of life is like. They're very funny, and I think they're very honest. They're a very honest couple, and the biggest thing is that he's a super big clean freak and she's chaos and they just annoy the heck out of each other, but it just works. So yeah, if you're keen on a bit of that, then take a listen. This is the first episode of their podcast. If you enjoy it, you'll need to go and search it out for yourself and add it to your feed. It's called The Montoyas.

Enjoy. This is an iHeartRadio New Zealand podcast. One of your sons or daughters is going to knock on our door and say, Dad, so I'm not sure what she's insinuating there. A bit of infidelity. I've got show and tell for you today. The rice cooker's gone too. Where's the rice cooker then?

It's done. You know, I was up on the couch, leg up, ass up. It was good back then. But it's not good now? No, it's pretty textbook shit now. Hello, my love. Hi. How's it going?

Good. How are you? I'm good. This is fun. It's awesome. This is the Montoya's podcast. Who would have bloody thought? Great set up here.

Yeah, thanks to our team, Adam, producer Adam. Adam Balmana. Nice. Call him Pumps. Do you? Nice. Are you guys on that friendship basis already? I hope so.

I got left out of that, so it's nice that you're getting him on your side. Yes. So, yeah, did you ever think you'd be on a podcast one day? I didn't think I'd be on a podcast. However, when you think about it, I can talk a bit of shit. Absolutely. I back that to the day. So eventually down the track someone would have called that out

and said, hang on, Mars, I think maybe we should get you on a potty with someone else. I didn't think it would be my wife. Yeah, because I got this for us. You did? Yeah, I did. I work in radio, right, at the Hits, great, great station, and we own iHeartRadio.

Well, we don't own, sorry. The company, the Hits doesn't own iHeartRadio. So you own them, you own them. No, the company we work for owns both the Hits and iHeartRadio and then they obviously noticed my natural ability to talk shit. Well, they obviously realised my ability as well because they wanted me to be on this podcast, so this is so... No, they were like, who's an easy get?

Oh, her husband. And that's how it went. Not really. No, absolutely. I was in conversations. Well, from what I believe, they did troll a few other people. And how'd that go? Really good, actually.

I think we need to revisit those ideas. So who's sitting here? Me. Yeah, okay. And who's last name? Well, you're just so fucking good, aren't you? And whose last name is it? Mine.

And mine? Actually, fun fact, this is actually all a lie because my real name isn't even Taylor Montoya. In Australia it is, but our marriage is only recognised in Australia, not in New Zealand. So pretty much I got us the gig then. No, you fuckwit. That's just your last name.

Yeah, well, guess what? It's on the potty. The Montoya and the Lombardi, that's my maiden name. Well, it's the Montoyas and guess what? You can have your last name. You're on a lot of Montoya in New Zealand, so it pretty much is mine. You can have your last name. It's my podcast.

Your last name comes with a lot more baggage than Lombardi. I can fucking your last say. You're on a lot of Montoya in New Zealand, so it pretty much is mine. You can have your last say. It's my podcast. Your last say comes with a lot more baggage than Lombardi. I can fucking preach to that. It's my podcast. You know if you go to Italy and you say Lombardi, you'll be treated like royalty. Now Lombardi in Italy is like what Smith is in Australia. Everyone's called Lombardi. Smith.

Well, yeah, Smith is a popular surname in Australia. Whereabouts in Italy, the whole of Italy? Well, my family is from, oh, my dad's going to kill me if I get this wrong. I'm pretty sure my dad is from like Lazio, which is near Rome. It's like a town or something near there. And then my mum's from the north. They were from an island which is now known as Malilosin.

Your grandparents. My grandparents and my mum. Well, obviously if my grandparents are from there, my mum's from there. Your grandfather. But now it's Croatian. It's Croatian land. They wanted it. Nonna's not from there.

Who? Nonna. No, Nonna is actually born in Egypt. Yeah, Nonna was from there. Yeah. Your mum's from Condor Park. Yeah, but with an Italian, like her blood, her blood is Italian. Okay.

Well, I could say the same thing about you. You're Fijian, but you're actually from Campbelltown. But I was born in Fiji. You weren't born in Italy, were you? I'm not saying me. Well, you're referring to me from that angle. How do you go from Fiji to Campbelltown? Tell us how you got there.

That's quite – no, I'm being dead serious. That's interesting. That's how it happened. How? You fucking woke up in Fiji and then the next day woke up in Campbelltown? See, everyone in Australia, especially in Sydney, oh, Westies, Westies, man. I grew up – I'm proud Westie, mate.

Proud. I'm not telling you. I'm not. All, mate. Proud. I'm not telling you. I'm not. All you people from the beaches. How did your family get to Fiji, to Campbelltown? I don't know. Like what was. We flew over from.

I'm not talking about the mode of transport. I mean, what was the thought process? We flew over, right? Fuck. We flew from Fiji. Not everything's a fight. No. I'll ring your mum up and ask then.

Call her. So how old were you before you moved to Australia? Three years old. Thank you. So there had to be something within those three years that said to your mum, I want to move to Australia. Hang on, hang on. I'm a mind reader.

You don't know? I don't know. You've never asked your mum? I was three years old, Tate. Yeah, but you're 28 now. So I'm sure in the last 26 years the question has come up. I asked my dad why his family moved to Australia. Yeah, but you asked a lot of questions.

Yeah, because I'm intrigued. And also I've actually never got a straight answer out of my granddad why they moved to Australia. They said to chase a better life life but Italy is pretty fucking good. So dodged stuff there. My mum likes to say that both my dad and my granddad have millions of kids out there unaccounted for. They like to play the field.

She says, one of these days, Ange, that's my dad's name, Ange, one of your sons or daughters is going to knock on our door and say, Dad, and I'm not putting up with that shit. So I'm not sure what she's insinuating there, a bit of infidelity, but hey. Well, here's the story. Seeing as this is the first episode, I thought what better story to tell everyone to get to know us more, right?

So do you remember the time when. Do you remember. Remember the time. Oh, MJ. See. Is that MJ? Yeah. Yeah, cute.

When, oh, I'm getting a dead leg. Sorry, Louis. It's not all about you right now, Mr Anal Gland Boy. It would have been like a year into us dating officially. Don't give him the finger. A year into us dating officially and mum and dad were out and you were at my house and no one was home. Luke, my oldest brother, he was also out at the races.

He went somewhere. Yeah, he was at the races. Yeah, because he was in his suit. Yeah, and we were in the back room watching a movie and as you do when you're that young and in love, movie turns into more of a Netflix and chill moment. Yeah. Read my mind.

And the back room to paint a picture to everyone because you'd want a picture of this. The TV's on the wall, couch up against the wall as well, opposite wall. Huge window. Window doesn't go to anywhere, just the backyard. Garage door. And the garage door.

So no one's home, so no one's going to see anything. Not the actual garage door, but the door to get into the garage. Into the garage, so yeah. Only if you were to drive in the garage and you park your car and you walk out of the garage door, you would see a display that's going on in the back room. And so we were Netflix and chilling, all sorts of Netflix and chilled positions.

This was back when you were adventurous, I'd say. I'm not adventurous anymore. You were a young 20-year-old full of testosterone. I'm still full of testosterone now. Still trying to impress me, I guess, you know, still the deal. So, you know, I was up on the couch, down on the couch. Leg up, ass up. You know, it was good back then.

It's not good now? No, it's pretty textbook shit now. You know, it's more about time. Now when you've been married, well, we've been together ten years, nine years this year, you just get in, get out. It's more about the ending. Get the job done. Yeah, no one's got time to look each other in the eyes.

I couldn't stand looking into your eyes. Why? I'm a lights off gal now, you know. Back then, and I mentioned the lights were fucking on back then because I liked my body back then. Anyhoo. So, yeah, it's very vulnerable positions, very vulnerable positions. And I know we're probably like seven minutes into the full act and, again, back then we'd have been probably going for half an hour.

You feel like you are, but you're not. And I remember being, I was standing on top of the couch and you were standing on the floor. So our two, what would you say, like two body parts were equal to each other to make it work. And I remember hearing the garage door open and making direct fucking eye contact with my brother. We all did.

Right? Yeah, you did too actually because you were looking the same direction as me. Bro, it was so bad. And I literally fucking died and I fell to the floor and I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I had a T-shirt in between my legs and I quickly put that on. I know, disgusting. And we sit on the couch and Luke walks in and I quickly put that on. I know, disgusting. And we sit on the couch and Luke walks in and goes.

I'm sweating. Yeah, you're sweating. I'm rock solid sitting there. And he's seen it and I'm saying, oh. And he walks in and he goes, were you two just having sex? Did I just catch you two having sex? Yeah, and then he goes, listen, guys, listen, I'll keep my mouth shut, I promise, but mask, and he dropped me off to Cronulla.

Yeah. Because he was going out. Yeah, and we were like done, done. He was going to Fulham or whatever. I said, yeah, I'll drop you off as long as you don't say anything to your parents. Literally. Because, like, even though we were of age and boyfriend and girlfriend,

that's not fucking nice to tell your parents, obviously. Yeah, it's not nice at all. Obviously, yeah. And so he goes, he gets changed. Me and you are like, fuck, disgusting, but dodged a bullet. You know, it's all good. It stays in the fams. And we give him a lift to Cronulla. All done.

All done. Yeah. Then the next morning, mum and dad come home and we're all sitting at breakfast. Yeah, they went for a walk. Yeah, they went for a walk and we're all sitting at breakfast. Yeah, they went for a walk. Yeah, they went for a walk and we're all chilling at the kitchen table and I was like, didn't even remember it really because I was like, whatever, it's in the back of my mind.

And out of nowhere Luke goes, Sue Ange, that's my parents' name. As soon as he said their names, I knew. Did you? Oh, I knew because I felt sick. Yeah. I felt sick and I just went, here we go. He goes, guess what I seen Tane Mars doing last night? And my dad being so innocent, I'm like, no, I didn't.

They go, oh, what? What were you guys up to last night? He goes, they were fucking in the back room. And then I was like, I remember my dad dropped his cutlery and goes, oh, for fuck's sake, Luke. And then you literally just went red and quiet. And then my mum outy and goes, oh, for fuck's sake, Luke. And then you literally just went red and quiet. And then my mum out of nowhere goes, well, at least someone in this house is getting something.

And that is fucking feral. That story, it never gets old. But you know what never gets old? You never know what's going to come out of your brother's mouth when he speaks. It's terrifying. When he says something, you just go, you just sit down and go, what's going to come out of his brother's mouth when he speaks. It's terrifying. When he says something, you just go, you just sit down and go, what's going to come out of his mouth now?

Yeah. It's terrifying. But that story. And then after that I realised with your family everything was open. Yeah. Yep. That's it. Like.

Everything was just out there. And I was like, that's not normal. Yeah, nothing's off guards. Like we go to the toilet with the door open, Dad will fucking be naked in the bathroom and not shut the door and I'll walk up the stairs and see his ass right fucking there. You see my dad's ass plenty of times now. Yeah, plenty of times. Yeah.

Nice ass, Ange. He wishes. Actually, no, he's got a swimmer's ass. What's that mean? He's swum his whole life. Yeah, someone got a swimmer's arse. What's that mean? He swam his whole life. So they, like, have a nice shaped body, wear big shoulders, small waist, small arse. Really?

That's what Sue says at least, yeah. Oh, Sue thinks she's a gymnast. She thinks she's a soccer player. She thinks she knows the weather. That's one thing about your parents that I love. When we're over their house. Yeah, they know when a southerly is here. As soon as the breeze comes in, oh. That's that sout their house. Yeah, they know when a southerly is here. As soon as the breeze comes in.

Oh. That's that southerly soon. Open the windows. Open the windows. The southerly's here. Anything to avoid not turning the air con on. They will go to the fucking heights to not turn the air con on. 30 degree day.

They've looked up when the breeze is coming in. Literally. Oh, the southerly's going to hit Marcelo in about two hours so we can hold off, we can hold out. Do you remember when you did start sleeping over at our house and there's some fucking hot days in Sydney, 40 degrees, and overnight it is just hell. And I remember you going to my mum and dad, you go, Sue,

Aunt, I beg you, I will pay the energy bill. Just please turn the fucking air off. And they look at each other and go, it's not that bad, is it? Hon, have you got the window open? And then like it's rich coming from me because when I was young, we never had air con in our house. Yeah. When you're training, it's like, man, you need it.

Yeah, but this is the perfect difference between our family and your family, right, my family and your family. Your family, like very working class, especially like you growing up, your mum worked three fucking jobs to put you guys in school, give you the best life ever, but you wouldn't know that you went, like you wouldn't know if you were struggling or anything because your mum made sure you guys always had a lot of food, always bought you the Nike shoes you wanted, right? She just would shut up and work the extra shifts.

But no air con. No air con. And home-bred Nutella, as you say all the time. My fucking family, mate, like God knows the financial strains they had, but it was like we were fucking poor, living paycheck to paycheck on Struggle Street. I remember when bananas, there was a cyclone in Queensland, so bananas were really fucking expensive.

My dad said, this is your last banana. We're not having these for months. I said, well, why can't we have bananas, Dad? No air con. Every time there's a power switch off straight away, I'd go to use the microwave. Dad, the microwave's broken. No, I've just turned it off at the power point,

turned it back on. But I need this every fucking hour. Stop turning it off from the switch. It's a clever way to save money. My mum used to do that as well. However, I think when you get to an age, and you were working as well, but in saying that as well, you never really paid any board at home.

Bullshit. I paid board as soon as I got my first full-time job. In your parents' defence, right, in their defence, and I don't want to label you here but I don't care, your board was $50 a month. You're fucking lying. It was $50 a fortnight. It wasn't a month. It was a fortnight. It bucks a month. You're fucking lying. It was $50 a fortnight. It wasn't.

A month. It was a fortnight. It was a month. It's $100 a month because I remember saying, fuck, this is going to set me back. It was a month. $50 a month and I can run it back with your mother. And how much was your board?

Well, mate, at some stage I was paid the whole electricity bill sometimes. Good. So you should because you would have been playing PlayStation. It doesn't matter. You would have been in the whole electricity bill sometimes. Good. So you shook because you would have been playing PlayStation. It doesn't matter. You would have been in the bathroom using the power. You would have been downstairs with your straight and all that kind of stuff. Whatever.

So, mate, just bring yourself right back down, please. Fuck you. Fuck you and your shit. Come here for a lecture. It's the truth. We had to, did you have Foxtel growing up, which is like Sky? Yes. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, we had to beg and beg and I remember we only, Dad said you will only get the basic channels and I remember one time Foxtel fucked up and we out of nowhere got Disney and it was like Christmas. I remember seeing like Suite Life of Zack and Cody for the first time. But sometimes they give you those, like they give you a deal. In school holidays times they'll say, oh, we'll give you these channels. Oh, okay.

Because I remember one time Dad got the bill and Fox still had gone up like $2 and he rang them and said, I'm fucking cancelling, I'm cancelling. And then they, yeah, because he just threatens them and then they go, okay, Ange, we'll put you back on the plan you were on and we'll keep your plan and we won't cancel. And he'll, yeah, for $2. Well, that's, yeah, but that's why they live really comfortably now because all those sacrifices they made.

They don't, they struggle every day. They live like they're struggling. The power bills. I don't know what they're saving up for. The power bills, the Foxtel bills, that's why they can put their feet up here and there and not work every day. So it's a credit to them.

Cool. Why don't you go marry them? No, thank you. I'll pop in here and there, though. Yeah, nice. Yeah, nice. Yeah, nice. Yeah, I'm just thinking, all this chat has got me thinking about the first time you met my family. What were your first impressions?

Beautiful people. No, bullshit. What do you mean? Bullshit. I remember we were dating for like six months yeah and then you finally asked me to be your girlfriend on new year's eve in the most anti-climatic way may i just say i picked you up from the airport because you had just landed from fiji it was new year's eve we were stuck in traffic on the M4. Because we were going out Parramatta. Yeah.

Yeah. And you go, do you want to be my girlfriend? Is that? Yeah, you said that. And I was like, oh, well, that was a bit shit. You want to be a fucking dude? I was like, well, there goes the romance. And then I remember saying to you, where the fuck's your luggage?

You've just been away for three weeks. And you're like, I just left it all there. That's how it works. So you leave everything there. Everything. Except the clothes that you wear. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough.

So you go there with a full bag, all your clothes, and then you come back, you leave everything there because all your cousins, all my cousins took everything. Yeah, no wonder we haven't been back then because I ain't doing that. No, I'm kidding. I'd be very strategic. If we go there, mate, you'll be coming back with nothing. Yeah.

What? Because, yeah, it's so different over there. Like how much is protein powder over there? I don't know. I remember a stat, reading a stat of protein powder in Fiji. When did you see this? I don't know. But I remember seeing it was like $400 or something.

For protein powder? Yeah. Am I talking absolute shit? I don't know. Yeah, I must be because if you're looking shocked, the only person I would have heard that from is you. I'm more shocked about what you're looking at. That's about protein powder in Fiji.

No, it must have come up on my For You page or something. Oh. Can I just say? What's For You? What? What's For You page? Are you for real? Yeah.

On like social media like TikTok and Instagram, there's a button that says For You and you like click it and the algorithm sends you videos that it thinks you'll like. So like if I was your For You page, it would be like cars, Volkswagens. What else are you into? Audis. Yeah, like the, Volkswagens. What else are you into? Audis. Yeah, like the most boring shit ever. Mine, it's sausage, dogs and outfits.

See how social media, they get you back on. Yeah. That's how they get you hooked. It's the most biggest drug addiction. It's a pandemic of its own. You know what? That's what you're stuck on, on your phone. That's your quality time.

But that's what I'm saying. And that's what social media gets you on, hooked on everything. We don't need to do quality time anymore. We have this one hour a week. That's more than enough. Perfect. That is absolutely amazing. But, yeah, when you first came over after six months of waiting,

asking me out, and I remember you messaged me in your car saying, hey, I'm out the front. And I was like, oh, well, if we're dating now, like officially you need to come inside and meet my mum and dad. And you were like, oh, no, I'm going to just have a sleep in my car until you're ready to come out. I was like, get the fuck in the house before my mum comes out and bashes the fuck out of you.

And I remember you walked in and my parents were watching The Sopranos. I don't know if that was like a fucking thing, like a threat to send you. And then, yeah, the rest is history. I remember that. Yeah, they were nice people, eh? Yeah, but when I walked in, what did she say? What were we doing? We were going on a date?

We were going to go to the movies, yeah. That's all we used to do back then, movies and dinner. Such innocent times. Now we just fight. No, we don't. Yeah. When? Always. Always. You're always excited to criticise. Such innocent times Now we just fight No we don't Yeah When? Always

You're always excited to criticise Well it's honest feedback Oh shut the fuck up I don't care about your honest feedback Stop saying that to me I'm not one of your fucking colleagues I don't want to hear your honest feedback That's the way it should be

Okay well you know what the honest feedback That's how a healthy relationship lasts Honest feedback Hit the nail on the head No but you're so blunt And? Hit the nail on the head Right then and there That's how a healthy relationship lasts, honest feedback. No, but you're so blunt. And hit the nail on the head right then and there. No one holds on to it.

There's no baggage. No one bottles anything up. You empty it then and there and it's done. I would love to one day compare how you guys talk to each other at training to the way we talk to each other in a corporate setting. Why? Honest feedback is far and wide to come by, mate. What do you mean? In a corporate setting, regardless of what job you're in.

Say it in a way that I'll understand. Everyone beats around the bush. Oh, not in our mate. Yeah, yours is quite savage. Well, the thing about us is it's a high-pressure environment. So is radio. Yeah, well then. I'm just kidding. It's not high-pressure environment. So is radio. Yeah, well then. No, I'm just kidding.

It's not high pressure. No, no one's listening. No one. The difference between us is. No one cares. Yeah, I think the difference between radio. Yeah, people watch you guys. Yeah, but people listen as well.

Yeah, I've been sprayed so many times on the radio. Yeah, but I feel like when you guys sign a contract, like if you're on Breakfast Radio, that's your contract, right? Yep. For us, you sign the contract but you still got to fulfil that, just to play in a row. Well, it's like that. It's like that.

Oh, do you mean like you could get dropped one week? If you're on Breakfast Radio, they don't go, no, this week you're going to go on Afternoon Radio. Yeah, true. That's a good point. But they might not get their contract renewed in three years but, yeah, at least they've got that seat for the three years. But they've got three years on the seat. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. But they might not get their contract renewed in three years, but, yeah, at least they've got that seat for the three years. But they've got three years on the seat.

Yeah, that's true. And lock it happen in three years. Yep. With us, as soon as, you know, if the coach doesn't want you to play or thinks you're in bad form, gone. Yeah, gone. And that's where that honest feedback comes into play, hey? It has to be.

Yep. Nice. And that's why I bring it home. I think hey? It has to be. Yeah. Nice. And that's why I bring it home. I think it's important. I don't think you should bring it home. I think it's important. Because guess what? This is for life, baby.

Ain't nobody here getting relegated. Yeah, but still. Well, sometimes I'm relegated to the doghouse. Always. You're about to after this too. Have you ever given me honest feedback and I've ever taken it on board? I don't know. Yeah, you have.

You have. It doesn't sound like me. I don't do well with toxic leadership. That's not toxic leadership. I don't do well with authority. How have you got a succeed in life if you're not honest? No, I believe in honesty. I don't like being told what to do, how to act, what to think, yeah.

But I don't do that. Every single job I've had, I did not respond well to a boss and that's why I'm hoping this fucking podcast goes somewhere because there ain't not many jobs left there for me out there. I think you'd respond to a boss that was honest with you. I appreciate my current boss at the hits but, again, radio is such a different. I used to work at the airport.

I had a micromanager and we had some words. Yeah, I don't do well with stuff like that. Yeah, that's why when you tell me what to do, I rebel. Yeah. Yeah. So you tell me to flush the toilet, I won't flush well with stuff like that. Yeah, that's why when you tell me what to do, I rebel. Yeah. Yeah. So you tell me to flush the toilet, I won't flush it out of spite. That's what's different. Like, even for me too.

Like, I was talking to Leon. Leon's my best mate the other day and he's going through a job change and he was asking me for advice and I'm saying, bro, I'd... Why the fuck's he doing that? He should call me. I've never had to work. Like, in a... Like, I mean, I know how to go for an interview for a job.

When you're... Because I've always... Well, not always, but... It's different. I'm not saying it to be an arsehole. Like, I worked hard to get where I am. Yeah. But in saying that, it's...

I think, like, I don't have to go to a job interview. I've always played... I played in a row, but then... When you were off contract, you had to go for an interview. Yeah. Yeah, so that's an interview. Yeah, but it's different, right, because I've got a manager that negotiates the stipulations of my contract and money.

Yeah, you don't have to look like the bad guy. Where he was, you know, like he's trying to negotiate his own money, how much is he going to be on, how much is he going to. I don't know why he's asking you. How much is he going to ask for and I'm like, bro, that's scary. That's hard. Yeah. That's hard to do because you're your own, like, you know,

you've got to go in there braveheart and say, no, I want this much. Yeah. You know, where I've got someone that does it for me, you know. So that's, yeah. So I'm grateful to be, you know, to do what I do because I love what I do. But it's a lot different. Very insightful, Miles. It's nice to see this maturity come out of you.

Yeah. Thanks for that, Toe. Speaking of your job, speaking of your work, you're often away a lot of the time, which leaves me by myself at home with my best friend, Louis. Louis is sitting on my lap right now. He is a miniature dash hound. He's a beautiful, what colour would you say this is, red? Brownish red.

Arsehole brown, I think. He is a bigger bitch than I am. So you've been away for the weekend. Yes. Right. So I've been just having to cook for myself, which may I say is fucking amazing. My favourite part of you leaving this house every time is that I don't have to cook you three course meals.

And on Saturday night I opted for just some plain noodles with prawns and dumplings. Yes. Quite a nice meal I thought. And I had done all the cooking, right, and I thought because dumplings, they're easy. I just bought the ones in the packet and it said, oh, for a tip. That's not cooking then.

I didn't say I made them from scratch. That's what you were alluding to. I'm not claiming to. I didn't make the noodles from scratch either. Just all packet food. Anyhow. Duka. You're duka.

Can you explain what duka means? Dirty. In what language? Fijian. Thank you. Nice to clear that up for the audience. Because not everyone speaks Fijian. All the Fijian listeners,

Bula Vinaka. So a tip on the packet said to make it really nice and crispy, boil them, like steam the dumplings in the fry pan over a lid, then take the lid off and then pan fry them in oil. And I was like, that sounds amazing, you know, two birds with one stone. So I've steamed them and I've gone, oh, they're nice and squishy. I'll take the lid off and pan fry them. And then that was it.

I put them in a plate. You happened to call me. You FaceTimed me. Yes. We had a lovely chat. For how long would you say that was, on Saturday night? An hour? I called you a few times.

Yeah, you did. You did. So I can't remember. Well, the long one. 40 minutes maybe. Yeah, 40 minutes minimum. So, yeah, I enjoyed that chat with you. Yeah?

Yeah. You burnt him. No, we've gotten off the phone and I've looked around the house and gone, why is the house filled with smoke? And I'm looking everywhere thinking what's happened? What's on fire? Look at Louis. Louis passed out from smoke poisoning.

He's on a diet. And I've gone to the stove. What do you reckon's happened? You left the stove on. Yeah, with the fry pan still on top of the stove. Yeah, and what, with the dumplings in there? No, I had eaten the dumplings. So you just left it on? Yeah.

And the pan was cooking? Yeah. So you know those nice frying pans you spend a lot of money on just recently? Yeah. One of them's completely fucking right off. Are you serious? Yeah, I've got it downstairs. I've been hiding it from you since you got home. That's fucked. Yeah, sorry. They're expensive. I know and it's charcoal black now and I've tried to scrub.

I tried to scrub so hard. Should I go get it? Yeah, okay, I'll be back. I'll be back. You just keep the audience company. I'll be two seconds. Oh. And you know what the funny thing about that is?

She sprayed me for going and spending all that money on buying them. Yeah. She got upset at me. Oh, Mars, why are you spending this much money on buying it? And then bang, she fucks it. You can show me because you know what? It could be completely broken or it could just be Fijian broken. Yeah, like remember how I broke the rice cooker?

Did you break that as well? I told you I left it on. Sorry, I'm out of breath. I left the rice cooker on the stove and the stove was on and it melted through the whole bottom. That's why we haven't had rice in ages. Anyhow. The rice cooker's gone too.

Where's the rice cooker then? It's done. It's done. It's completely broken. There's the fry pan. So, yeah, I tried scrubbing that. It won't come out. That looks like a big black hole.

Yeah. So is that Fijian broken or is that broken broken? It's Fijian broken. I'm not using it. Taylor. I know. Soz. But, like, don't FaceTime me during dinner.

No, no, no. You can't blame me for this. No, because you do. You can't blame me for this. You should look at the time and go, okay, in Brisbane it's, what, four, so it's six in New Zealand. I'm not going to call her because I know she's eating. You can't blame me for this because, you know,

you've got to be responsible. When I'm away. Yes, Dad. No, no, it's not even about Dad. You know, you've got to be responsible. Like that's ridiculous. That's an expensive front. And the funny thing is this is

the lesson don't buy stupid fucking expensive shit it's not because i'm just gonna break it no we needed those because those can go in the oven that's why we bought those ones that's why i spend that money you know what i think the lesson in this is i think i should give my chef hat to you and you should cook me dinner from now on because since you're so perfect and you won't ruin everything and you can cook rice in a rice cooker and you know how to cook fucking all these luxes and curries that I've never tasted in my fucking life, all you can do is lamb on the barbecue.

That is not cooking. Which is fair. That's cooking. No, it's not. You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I do. Maybe I do cook those things. Yeah, bring your mum up since she's an amazing cook

and get her to teach you. The one thing I'll know if I do cook, I won't burn the frying pan. We'll wait and see. How you talk a big game for someone that's never fucking done it before. And guess what? I won't break my rice cooker either. Really? Well, you'll have to buy a new one first because it's gone.

She's done. I threw it out when you went home. Did you actually throw it? It was broken. We could kill ourselves if I kept using it. That was from Brisbane. And guess what? They sell them in New Zealand too.

You know you can make rice on a stove. I'm telling your mum. I'm telling your mum. You don't need a rice cooker. You can make rice on a stove in a pot. I'm telling your mum this. I don't care. Tell her. I'm scared of my mum. I don't care. Tell her.

I'm scared of my mum. That's why she didn't. Fucking 27 years old. I rule my own world. Did you tell her about this already? I told her about that. She was laughing. Yeah, well, no wonder why she didn't charge me for the Dyson filter.

Yeah, mum's getting us shipped a Dyson filter because we can't get them in New Zealand. So on the topic of you being away and me nearly killing the house and the fry pans and the rice cookers and all that. Yeah. The rice cooker was months ago. What do you mean months ago? When I broke that. I just haven't told you because I'm like we haven't needed to have rice yet.

Yeah, well, that's why you've just been cooking the orzo then. Yeah, which is nicer anyways. It's like an Italian rice, so it's fine. In the corporate world at the moment, it is flu season and it is rampant. It's running rampage. I don't know if anyone... Running rampage. Is that the...

Running rampage. Is that the correct term? Yes. I see you. I'm smart know if anyone. Running rampage. Is that the correct term? Yes. I see you, Mr English. Well, it's running amok around the office. Just say rampage. No, because once you correct me, I don't like knowing that you were right, so I just move on.

And I, at the moment, my throat's fucked. Our producer Adam's got a mask on because he doesn't want to get us more sick. You guys, like I probably got this off you because. What? No, I did. You were on the Lemsips this weekend. You and your fucking team, it's like being married to you

is like being married to a kid in daycare. You bring that much shit home and then I just cop it. It's exhausting. Oh, well, put up with it, mate. I remember when Ringworm was going around. It's been everywhere. It goes everywhere. Who the fuck starts that?

It's just because when you sweat a lot and we wrestle, and because we wrestle, that's how it spreads. Yeah. Feral. Yeah, I took down a whole department last year with the flu because you, Tohu, had a really bad flu. Tohu gave it. And then he gave it to you and then you gave it to me

and then I coughed on Manaya at work from ACC. He literally took down his whole department, the iHeartRadio department. And then I said, sucked in. That was Tahu's fault. It was. It all goes back to that. We've got to think.

We fly every second week. Yeah. We're travelling. We're on the plane. Mainly when we're coming back from games, you know, like you're coming back, the body's still recovering. The body's at a low in terms of how it's feeling. Like we've just played 80 minutes and flogged ourselves

on the footy field. Yeah. So it's like the immune system's low and then we get on a plane with all these people and then they're all like someone's sick on the plane, boom, pass it to one of us and we just hand it out. I know. It's beautiful, let me tell you that. Love it.

Can't wait being sick every fucking second week. Boy, it sucks. Yeah. But it is what it is, mate. Because then you're always like to me when you feel it coming on, you're like go sleep in the spare room. But I can't. I can't fall asleep without you there.

Then how do you sleep when I'm away? The dog. Well, sleep with him in the spare room. But I can't. I can't fall asleep without you there. Then how do you sleep when I'm away? The dog. Well, sleep with him in the spare room. Yeah, I don't like to do that when you're in the house. Why? Because I know you're judging. I'm not. And then I have to clean the sheets the next day

and I don't do that when you're not around. It's just easier to avoid. Yeah, but it doesn't make sense. If you want to sleep in a spare room with him, just sleep in there with him. Oh, you'd allow that? Yeah, if you're sick. Because then otherwise I'll make you sick and then you try to act tough and the next day you're spraying me. I never act tough. I milk that shit to the bone, baby. So yeah, that was, well, that was fun. Did you like that? Did you have fun? Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. I just want to mention as well one thing.

It's really at the top of my head and I need to get off my chairs. We've been watching this Netflix show called Listing Manhattan or Buying Manhattan or some shit. Owning Manhattan. Owning Manhattan. It's another real estate show. If I see one more fucking real estate show come up on Netflix, I don't even know why I'm complaining because I watch them all but there's like selling sunset buying beverly hills this one

selling houses australia selling tampa what the fuck is everyone's obsession with real estate shows i feel like it's because everyone can relate right in what way there's like them like million dollar homes no one can relate to that yeah well some people like to dream about that stuff as well And watch it and go, man, that's nice Yeah, because you love it I love it But then what I hate is people watch that show And go, oh my God, I'm going to be a real estate agent

Because it's that much It's that easy to make commissions For someone who's a sister of a real estate agent Again, my beautiful brother Luke with the foul mouth It's fucking hard Mate, it's fucking hard. Mate, it's a great point you make, but it's like that with everything, you know. You get the trolls on that, oh, and then the trolls that want

to play footy or the ones online that want to spray people online. Oh, do this, do that. Mate, there's a reason why you're sitting back and you're typing on your computer or on your phone because you're shit. You could never do it. Is this about real estate or did we just hit a nerve? About people. That like someone just got triggered.

Because I was talking about houses. Yeah, well, it's the same thing, all right? People that say, oh, I could sell that house. Oh, okay. People that say, oh, I could carry a ball. I could catch that ball. Could you? Okay, so we're back there again.

Could you? Well, guess what? You can't because you're not there. You haven't done it. Just shut your mouth. All right. Yeah, I say that about radio. Exactly.

I'm kidding. Anyone could literally get on my Catoxit. Anyone. Not really. You can. Look, you're doing it right now. I'm doing it right now. Yeah, but I'm funny.

You're not. I'm not. This is shit. This is going nowhere. Who's going to listen to this? People are already depressed. This is going to make them's going to listen to this? People are already depressed. This is going to make them all depressed. Anyways, I think that's enough.

Let's go out with a bang. Okay, bye. Ciao. Ciao, see you next week. For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down.

Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.