ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 10th May 2023

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Throwback television Justine Smith Google Down with Matty McLean Matty's on-air blunder See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Welcome everyone to the Brinkland Podcast with Matty McLean, see? I see, I see. Oh see, welcome. This is the old school podcast. A lot of people in the room today. We've got Gary on the buttons, g'day Gaz. What was that accent? Was that Al Capone or just... I think it's like a... Yeah, it's like a 1930s

like inspector. Yeah. Or like a private detective. Yes. Like a 30s detective. What are you doing here see? I'm going to crack the case wide open see? Yeah. Hey I'm a walking here you see?

Thank you. I'm being followed. I don't know. I can do a good Goding here, you see. Thank you. I'm being followed. I don't know. I can do a good Godfather. Can you? Yeah. You listen to me. If you come into my house, I'm going to do a shit in your bed.

And then I'm going to call your mum and tell her you shit the bed. You sound almost like some of the modern day singers that you hear. I'm literally reading that book right now and I hope you haven't spoiled anything. Oh no. Yeah, spoiler alert, they shit in the bed, Gary. Spoiler alert, I have spoiled the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case for you though. Oh, did you? Yeah, Amber Heard shit for you, though. Oh, did you? Yeah.

Johnny Amber Heard shit in his bed. Yeah. Yeah. We got Gaz. We got Producer Claude. Hello. There she is. Go on.

It's me, Producer Claude. And we also have Producer Brock stepping in. Hello. She doesn't know how to use her microphone. I haven't given her any headphones. Claudia. They're in with you and I'm lazy. Oh, fair.

Fair enough. Aren't we all? Aren't we all? Aren't we all? No, there's some real high achievers out there. Mate, God, I hate a high achiever. I remember remember i was watching this i think it was an interview or something and it was kevin hart and he talked about how the biggest reason he thinks he has had success is because he wakes up at 4 30 and has heaps more time in the day and i'm'm like, yeah, but you're waking up at fucking 4.30.

Live your life. Sleep. Sleep in. Like, I mean, I can't think of anything worse. I hate getting up early. I would rather be lazy than successful. Truly. Would you?

Yeah. Would you rather relax, be lazy, than success? I think you'd be so much happier, wouldn't you? Yeah, I feel like – because I just think about – because obviously you – what time do you wake up for breakfast TV? I get up at 3.40. Yeah, and then you – But I get up at that time because I have to get up at that time.

For your job, yeah. I don't do it because I'm like all it sees the day. And going to the gym for two hours. And I'll tell you what, on Saturday, Sunday, am I waking up at that time? No bloody way. Can you sleep in? Yeah, absolutely. Easily.

Easy. Yeah, you'd be bloody rooted. Yeah. You'd be so tired. That's it. I fall asleep on a Friday night at like 7 o'clock, and then my body's just like, you need to sleep. Rest.

Yeah, absolutely. What about you, Gaz? What time are you rising? We're the newborn. Yeah, when the baby turns up. It could range between 3 o'clock in the morning or 7.30. You just don't know. Yeah, and you sleep when you can, right, when you're a parent?

Yeah, but it's weird. The more sleep I get, the tireder I feel. When I'm jolted at 3 o'clock in the morning, I tend to hang on a little. I say that to people all the time. I find it harder to wake up if my alarm goes off at 7 than I do if my alarm goes up at 3.30. Are you serious? Definitely.

At 7 o'clock, you kind of wake up and you're like, oh. Whereas 3.30, you go, right, I'm up. I'm awake. It's almost like your body is so shocked that you're being forced to wake up at that time that you just jolt wide awake. I don't think Kevin Hart's got it right there. I think he's probably like we could maximize productivity minutes a lot better in our normal lifestyle. Oh, yeah. You don't need to be getting up at 4.30.

It's true. Yeah. Because he says he gets up at 4.30 to do like a two-hour workout or whatever. And I was like, oh. Cool, man. Like when I did breakfast radio, I could not wake up. Like I just could not do it. And then like doing – did we just miss something? No, we've got one minute before we go.

Okay, sweet, sweet. And to wrap this up real quick, exercising in the morning, death. It equals death. Yeah. Like my body says, no, thank you. It's like, you should be in bed. Yeah. Go back to bed.

And speaking of bed, we're all off to bed. So we will see you tomorrow where Maddie McLean will join us again. Bye, guys. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrims. Sit in free and glint with guest host Maddie McLean. I'm coming now. Well, howdy, pilgrim. ZM3 and Clint with guest host Maddie McLean. We're back, baby.

We're back, baby. We're back. They let us on for another day. Oh, God, I don't know why they've let me back on. Did you see what happened to me this morning on breakfast? I heard about it just before we came on air. I had a shocker. You dropped an F bomb. The first time in 16

years of media career that this happened. That's crazy. We're going to talk about that later in the show and we will play you the audio but essentially your microphone pack fell out. Yeah and I didn't know

that I was on air. Well obviously. Slipped out. Just a little F pack fell out. Yeah, and I didn't know that I was on air. Well, obviously. Just slipped out. Just a little F-bomb slipped out from Matty McLean. But I'm here. And you handled it beautifully, can I say, seamlessly. Thank you. Barely noticed it.

I haven't been fired and I'm allowed on radio as well. So watch out. Anything can happen. We're just looking forward to you dropping a few F-bombs this afternoon. You know? That's why we get you back on. Because you're crazy.

I've done it now. I might as well keep going, right? You're a bad boy. I'm so bad. You're a bad boy. Hey, heaps coming up on the show for you this afternoon.

We've got $1,000 cash that we're giving away because Fast 10 is coming out to the cinemas very soon. Plus we're going to try and get one more person in the draw for that amazing trip to see Ed Sheeran in Vancouver. Very exciting. Very exciting.

If you haven't registered for that, there's still time. Head to ZM online. You might be seeing Ed Sheeran live in Vancouver. So go do that right now. But let's kick off the show with a bit of tradie versus lady. The ladies picked up a win again yesterday. They're doing very well for themselves. They're doing very well.

But if you want to have a chance of winning $50 cash, all thanks to KFC, call now 0800-DIAL-ZM. Bree and Clint. It's time for tradie versus lady. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus lady. Here we go. it's quite the battle That the tradies are having at the moment The ladies soaring ahead

They're on 42 wins for the year The tradies on 34 But like you said Bree, all it takes is one good week Exactly right And it starts with one game So let's meet our tradie for today They're from Hamilton. They're 26 and they love potatoes.

Please welcome to the show, Alex. G'day, Alex. G'day, Alex. Hello there. How are you? Good. How do you like your potatoes? Right.

Fish and chips. Oh, yeah. Fish on chops. Yeah, just the classic. Potatoes are so versatile. Right. You've got your hash browns. You've got your mash. You so versatile. Right. You've got your hash browns. You've got your mash.

You've got your chips. You've got your potato chips. Your crinkle cuts. I mean. Yeah, your shoe strings. Your thick cuts. The list goes on and on. We're on board with the potatoes, Alex, here.

Let's meet your opponent. Our lady today is from Auckland. They're 34. Oh, no. They've just dropped out. Maybe we today is from Auckland. They're 34. Oh no, they've just dropped out. Maybe we can get them back. They sounded like they were going to be quite a tough competitor. Our producers are calling them

back now. Let's try and get them back because the ladies, as you said, Brie, are soaring ahead. 42 points to 34. Yeah. And I mean, let's talk about potatoes again. Evelyn! We've got them back. They also do funny things with their eyebrows. Please

welcome to the show, Cleopatra. Hello, guys. How are you? G'day, mate. Sorry we hung up on you there. That's alright. So rude of us. So rude. What are we talking eyebrow-wise? Just like, how do you explain it? You just have one far down and you can wiggle the other one really, really fast.

All right. Like Jim Carrey style. Yes. Like that. I like it. Very good. Well, we're going to play this game. Alex, your buzzer is going to be tradie Cleopatra.

Your buzzer is going to be lady. Just buzz them when you know the answer. First person to three points wins, right? That's correct. Are you ready to play? Yes. Let's go. Okay, question number one. Kaikoura has been named on the list of the world's most beautiful small towns. What animal

watching tourist attraction is it known for? Yes, Cleopatra. Whale. Yep. Nice work. She was on to it. One to the ladies. Question number two. An Australian woman has survived five days in the bush by drinking wine. Woman after my own heart. I mean, yes.

Name a type of white wine. Lady. Yes, Cleopatra. Covert Stramina. Oh, God. What? Of all the white wines, that's the one you went for? I was just expecting a classic Chardonnay or something.

I know. Cardonay. Cardonay. The H is silent, yeah. That's two to the lady. She's on the money. Question number three. Me and Bree got to spend time together last year

filming Treasure Island Fans vs. Faves. Name any other celebrity Treasure Island contestant. Lady. Yes, Cleopatra for the win. Who was that? Yeah, Chris Parker. She's got it. All over it like a rash. Cleopatra $50 coming your way thanks to

KFC. Nice work. Amazing. Thank you. Well done. Very well done. Nice work. Amazing. Thank you. Well done. Very well done. Yeah, that was a convincing win. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint, Maddie McLean, you're filling in. It's so nice to be here.

Although usually in the afternoons I just, because I work early in the mornings, right, I nap. I just found out you have a personal trainer. I do. I'm very fancy. How hot is he on a scale of one to ten? He's a 9.5. Oh, damn.

Has he got any spots open? Yeah, I'll introduce you. Yeah, please. I mean, I don't want to exercise. No, just go and sit and... Have a coffee. I'd love to have a new friend to go have a coffee. Yeah, chat and... Yeah, does he offer just life advice?

Exactly, yeah. Okay. He's good. Sounds good. Anyway, as well as the personal trainer and the napping, I also just lie on the couch in the afternoon and scroll through TikTok. The endless scroll. It's mindless.

Isn't it? Oh, my God. So bad. But I stumbled across a TikTok yesterday, which I just got deep into, and I started watching so many videos of this guy because he has started re-watching an old TV show

and then just talking on TikTok about the ridiculousness of some of the plot lines. Right, yeah, so like a TV show that hasn't aged well. I just don't think the show would get made today or it wouldn't be popular today. Gotcha. I just don't think the show would get made today

or it wouldn't be popular today. Gotcha. I reckon you would have seen at least an episode of this. It was off and on in the afternoon, so you know if you're home. Afternoon television. Yeah, exactly. God, it's good.

Home after uni or after school, you probably saw a few episodes. The Saddle Club. I loved The Saddle Club. Of course you did. Bring it back, I say. Of course you did. God, you and my husband really do get along, don't you?

We're like twins. No, it wasn't Saddle Club. It was the incredible TV show Seventh Heaven. Every watching Seventh Heaven in this episode I just finished is absolute nonsense. Simon's friend has an older sister. Her name is Karen and she is in a gang. Matt is the oldest and he is getting gang vibes from her. So he's like, what's on your belt?

And she's like, it stands for baby girl. And he's like, sounds like you're in a gang. Matt pulls his parents aside and he's like, guys, Karen's in a gang. And they're like, you know, makes sense. Makes sense. Karen, such the name to be in a gang. And if you look at this girl, just every time they have a plot line on this show, Seventh Heaven,

it is just so ridiculous. It's these, like, white, like, middle-class parents making absolutely something out of nothing. Like, Karen is no threat to anyone. It is so ridiculous. Karen's just trying to live her life. She's wearing this cute little belt that has like a BG logo on it so they decide she's in a gang.

Yeah. It's so ridiculous. Maybe she wants to get a little brat piercing. Let her get one. There's so many more plot lines. The mum gets really worried about the son at some point because he starts wearing baggy jeans. Like, that is just how ridiculous this show is.

He's definitely doing armed robbery then if he's wearing baggy jeans. It's a gateway, right? Absolutely. It's a gateway. Anyway, it is so ridiculous. So Seventh Heaven was a show back in the day. It was like a pastor and his wife and they had seven kids and it follows their lives in all of these ridiculous trials and tribulations

that are not trials and tribulations at all. But it got me thinking about some of the ridiculous, crazy shows that we used to be so obsessed with that we haven't even thought of for a long time. I have not thought of Seventh Heaven in years. I can't say that Seventh Heaven is in the forefront of my brain. No. Like haven't thought about it in a long time. I think we should play a game.

Please. Where we throw up a TV show and if none of us have thought about it in like a year or like maybe even five years, then that's a win. Brilliant. Okay, so I'll kick it off. Okay, great. How long has it been since you thought about the TV show One Tree Hill? I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be, baby.

I mean, it was the OC before the OC was the OC, you know? And a Gavin DeGraw theme song? Yes, please. Sign me up. Chad Michael Murray, what a hottie. I always, like, when I first moved to New Zealand

and I heard there was a place, a suburb in Auckland, called One Tree Hill, and I was like, what? What? Actually, that's funny because we should think of that show all the time.

Yeah. And yet, I think you've won. I don't think I've thought of that show in the last 12 months. Mate, re-watch it. It is a classic watch. So good. I love re-watching those old teen moments. So good.

I'm re-watching the OC as we speak. And still holds up? Yeah, not season four. Season four is trash. But, you know, season one, two, three, so good. Yeah. What about you? Have you got one you want to throw up?

I do. I do. How about this for a throwback? Hi, guys. Hi, honey. Oh, good, you're home. What did you bring me? Nothing.

That's the same thing you brought me yesterday. Does that sound familiar to you? No. That is the classic 80s TV show, Elf. Oh, my God. I've not thought about that show my whole adulthood, I reckon. Elf. With the weird alien thing.

Yes. He was like an alien that came down to Earth and ended up in the suburban family's home and he was obsessed with cats. Oh, was he? Yeah. He was obsessed with cats. Damn. I have not thought about that in years. I had an elf doll growing up

Did you? Yeah I did. I think I did too. Now that you say that It was such a big show and then they just disappear and you do not think about them at all. I wonder where that puppet is now As you do a TV show where are these famous puppets now? Elf, thingy

all of them. All of the crew Producer Claude you want to throw one into the ring? Yeah I don't know if Where are these famous puppets now? Elf, Thingy, all of them. All of the crew. Producer Claude, do you want to throw one into the ring? Yeah, I don't know if a lot of people have watched this show, but this is where Ryan Reynolds kind of got his start. But do you remember the show Two Guys, A Girl and A Pizza Place? I do! Yes!

This was like turning the millennium, early, late 90s, early 2000s, really young Ryan Reynolds, and it was like three people who live in an apartment and work in the pizza place. It was so good. That is such a good one, Claudia. And kind of in the same category for me as Dharma and Greg. Yes. Oh, my God.

In that show, they got rid of the pizza place, so they just renamed it Two Guys and a Girl. Really? Oh, my God. I love it Two Guys and a Girl. Really? Oh, my God, I love it. I love this game. Okay, let's take calls right now. 0800 DIALZM, or you can text us on 9696 if you think you've got a throwback TV show.

One that we would not have thought of in the last 12 months. Yeah, one that's going to make us go, oh, my God, yes, I love that show. Bree and Clint. Great text coming through on this. A lot of people texting through Saved by the Bell. Saved by the Bell, great. Screech. Yeah, although I feel like that is one that you often do kind of think about.

They do play reruns of it quite often. I mean, I haven't thought about it in a while. This one really got me, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Yes. With Jane Se got me. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Yes. With Jane Seymour. Yes. That was a brilliant show. Bring it back. I say they merge it into Dr. Pimple Popper and they make it like a

dual show. Why not? Let's talk to Melissa. Melissa, have you got one of these shows, mate? Yep. I had two of them. Beverly Hills 90210. Oh, and they did the reboot. Did you ever watch the reboot?

No, I didn't. No, stick with the original, Melissa. Yeah, I agree. I have to say. What was your other one? Marrow's Place. Oh, such a good show. Great, great, great show.

They were really good. Underrated, I say, Melissa. Yeah. They were awesome. I remember watching, great show. Underrated, I say, Melissa. Yeah. I remember watching every single episode. Yeah. Were you a big 90210 fan as well? Yes, I've got still two now. I've got the dolls and I've also got the board games.

Really? Amazing. I love that. Bring it back to Netflix, I say. Brandon and Kelly and all the gang. And the whole gang. So good. Thanks for calling through, Melissa. Let's talk to Nicole. Hi, Nicole. Hello, how are you?

Great. Hit us with your TV show that you don't think we've thought of in a while. Okay, it's Roswell. I don't know if you remember it. Roswell, yes. I had the posters all over my wall and I was obsessed And I'm pretty sure I was just about crying

When they cancelled it The aliens crashed down to earth right And they ended up going to the high school Wait is this quite similar to Third Rock from the Sun Similar but more of like Third Rock from the Sun was the comedy version Roswell was a bit more teen drama, angsty.

Yeah. You can tell I've never seen it. Have you watched it recently, Nicole? I did. I actually watched it a few years ago, and I just had, like, teenage vibes again. Like, oh, my God. Where did you find a VHS player, Nicole? It was on, like, Netflix or something.

I've never moved it now. Did it stack up? Yeah, but it was Catherine Heigl's first, you know. Really? It was too. Teenage Catherine Heigl. I'm going to watch this. I feel like it'd be a bit of me.

This is a real throwback, Nicole. Thank you. You've absolutely nailed it there, Nicole. A lot of text coming through, as I said, for Third Rock from the Sun. Someone else said Dawson's Creek. Oh. Pacey, Dawson, jumping in and out of windows. Did you watch it?

I definitely watched it. Yeah. He's in another show now. The guy who played Pacey. A show that's just come out. Yeah. Oh, brilliant. Yeah, it looks really good, actually.

He's really good. He is, yeah. Fantastic actor. Someone else said Felicity. With the frizzy hair. Yes. And then, I think third season in, she cut off all of her frizzy hair and they cancelled the show. Oh, people didn't recognise her.

Didn't like her. They're like, who is that? They're like, that's not the Felicity I know. She's on another show too on Netflix called The Diplomat. Brilliant. And it's like in the top ten. Apparently it's fantastic. One Gary who's pushing the buttons for us,

what was the one you threw into the ring, Gary? When you asked me straight away, my immediate thought the buttons for us. What was the one you threw into the ring, Gary? When you asked me straight away, my immediate thought was Home Improvement. Oh! I'm from a family of boys as well, and this spoke to me. They had three boys. And Tamela had that soft mullet haircut that my dad also had, and I think a lot of dads had in the 90s.

He rocked it, eh? That was so good. And the wife was always like, start playing with that heart rod and get inside. And Pamela Anderson was on there for a bit. She was too. She was one of the tool girls. Exactly. And the neighbour

Wilson who always peered over the fence. Yeah, such a fantastic show. I love it. Let's take one more call. Joelle? G'day, Joelle. Hiya, how we going? Good, thanks. Hit us with it. What's the show that we haven't thought of in a while?

Have you ever seen Smallville? Oh. Of course. It was so good. The only reason I remember it is because I remember hearing that opening theme song and it just hits different every time. And it was based on, correct me if I'm wrong, Joel, where he was Superman, like a young Superman, right?

Yeah, and he was, like, growing up and stuff. Like, it was basically him going through puberty, so, you know, could easily relate growing up. Absolutely. Superman, you know, he goes through puberty too. And I'll tell you what, Tom Welling was the sexual awakening for a lot of people. Oh, mate.

Absolutely. The eyes on that man. I mean, come on. Dreamy. Hey, thank you, Joelle. Have you watched it recently? No, I've been meaning to try and catch up with it. There you go.

This is your moment. Go back and watch it. Go do it. Absolutely. That's a great one. A few more texts. I've just got to read these out because they're so good. Doogie Howser.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The original. Veronica's Closet. Veronica's Closet. I love it. Ally McBeal. Party of Five. There's so many good ones on here. Step by Step is in there. Yes. I mean, all fantastic ones.

I mean, Touched by an Angel. That show creeped me out. No, I loved that show. Bring that in the 90s. Bring that in the 90s. It's lucky you're still here, Matty. Oh, my God. Because we need to talk about what went down on breakfast television this morning.

It was a shocker. And I've been working at TVNZ for 16 years. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. The first time ever you have dropped an F-bomb on live TV. It was a disaster. So I'll set the scene for you. But there was a lot going on this morning. You know, it's a three hour live television show. There's a lot going on this morning. You know, it's a three-hour live television show. There's a lot of moving pieces, right? Yeah, and can I just say, 16 years with never dropping an F-bomb, I think you've done well.

Thank you. I've earned one, right? You've earned one. I've earned one. Absolutely. I more than used it this morning. So we were in an air break. There was a lot going on.

We were talking about things that were coming up. there were a couple of breaking news things that were happening and there was just a lot of commotion and what had actually happened then after a while I thought I'm not hearing anything usually the directors are talking to me in my ear or my producer is and I wasn't hearing anything and then just as they cut back to me, I realised that my earpiece cable had disconnected from the pack, which is why I wasn't hearing anything, and then this happened. Oh, f***, my thing's falling out. Q, you're on air, you're on air, you're on air, you're on air, you're on air.

Morning, welcome back to Breakfast. I'm so sorry, I just lost my communications. The head of UK's Metropolitan Police has insisted they had serious and reliable intelligence that protesters had planned to disrupt Saturday's coronation. What a pro. I mean, what a pro. Straight back.

I love the juxtaposition of you dropping an F-bomb and it's like casual, you know, behind the scenes Maddie straight into family friendly. I'm so sorry. I've lost my communications. And then right into newscaster serious, serious stuff going on. And you did not miss a beat. Didn't miss a beat. Someone reminded me though that this is, I've actually now completed the trifecta. Oh, what's the trifecta?

Well, the F-bomb. Yes, of course, which we just heard. The S-bomb. I said of course, which we just heard. The S-bomb. I said that a couple of years ago accidentally. Is that a real no-no on Breakfast TV? Well, it's not a no-no. You can't say schlong. You're talking about the other one, right?

The other one. And then I did accidentally stumble over the word country a few years ago. Jeez, you made me nervous then. Oh, you've got all three. The trifecta. Now all you have to do is get naked on TV and you've got everything in the bag. Have you ever done it? Dropped an F-bomb.

I don't believe that I have. I'm just looking at our producers You're unscathed Yeah, since you've been here Producer Claude Have I ever dropped an F-bomb? You've accidentally said a couple of things But I don't think you've ever

Actually said anything That sounds real sinister, eh? I haven't But you know who has Who? Clinton Roberts No way Professional broadcaster

Clint Roberts Clint Roberts From memory I think he's dropped at least two since our time on air. One was when he got real angry about something and it was kind of off mic. You could definitely hear it though. And another time I was probably annoying him and he got flustered. My favorites though have come from Simon Dallow, who reads the 6 o'clock news on TVNZ. He's had a couple of slip-ups.

One when he was trying to say credit crunch. Got it. And the other one when he was trying to say last ditch bid. I mean, they're setting him up there. It's a nightmare. It's an absolute minefield. I can just imagine the producers being like, let's see Simon try and handle this one, guys.

Just watch this. I love it, Maddie. I love it very much. You've seen her on the project Taskmaster seven days or trollied on K Road at four in the morning. Please welcome to the show New Zealand comedy royalty, Justine Smith. Thank you very much.

That applause. Let me just drink it in. It's going to be tonight. Yes, it is. Fingers crossed it's going to be tonight. You don't strike me as a show pony who loves the attention, Justine. I don't know what you mean, Maddie McLean. Spoken from one of those people to another.

Were you always a bit of a drama queen as a kid? A hundred percent. Yeah, me too. My mum once lost me in a department store in Christchurch, the long gone Millers, and she went outside to see if I was there and there was a crowd of people looking in the window and I'd taken my clothes off and draped myself in fabric,

and I was doing some kind of number. You're doing a dance with scarves. Some kind of number wrapped in some kind of fabric, and mum was like knee impressed. Oh, my God. So no surprise then that this is the career that you ended up in. Yeah, always a show off. You're in today because we're talking about the Comedy Festival.

We are. And it was meant to be opening night for your show Actually, I'm a cat person it's called And the Auckland weather just didn't want to play ball last night It did not, it rained cats and dogs and not in a good way So we could not go ahead last night So opening night and second night is tonight at the Classic at 8.45? 8.30? It will be 8.30?

8.30. You sure? No. They usually are on the half hour, right? They are. 8.45 is a random time to start a show. Excuse me, Maddie. I think you're fine. My show in San Fran in week three is at 8.45.

Hence my confusion. If you want to get tickets for Justine's show, it's opening night tonight at the Classic. It goes all the way through to the 13th, and then you're headed down to Wellington. You're playing there on the 23rd to the 27th at San Fran. At the San Fran at 8.45, Maddie. 8.45 on the dot.

Tell us a bit about the show and what you've got planned. Right on. Well, I've had this show planned for a couple of years because it didn't go ahead last year. And so I've been writing this and rewriting this for quite a while. It's normally jazzy stand-up, but I also tell a bit of a heartwarming story.

I tell about my two mums, and that's not an exciting 90s sitcom. Ooh, gay mums. No, unfortunately, way less exciting than that. I'm adopted. I talk about nature versus nurture because, you know, my Christchurch mum, who is my mum-mum, who I grew up with, my adopted mum, she's quite posh and snobby.

And when I met my birth mother, she was a real Bogan Westie. And so we were talking about Josh Thompson before we came on here, and I ran a bit of my show in front of him, and I said that. I'm a mix between posh Christchurch and Westie Bogan. And Josh, who's a good friend of mine, went, oh, my God, you so are. And so it's just about that and about those two sides. You are a fantastic storyteller. Every time since moving to New Zealand, I remember I saw you

at the Classic. This is five years ago. And I remember feeling really homesick and I didn't know anyone and I was kind of like I'm gonna go see some comedy and whatever and you were such a standout for me you were playing at the classic and all I remember thinking is you felt so warm and you're freaking hilarious and I just felt like I was a part of your family like you just bring people in and you're so fantastic at what you do and that's the other really cute thing for me too is this is my first ever hour at the Classic, you know,

and the Classic Comedy Club, the grotty old lady that she is, you know, the Classic is really, you know, my Turangawaewae because it's the only stable thing, you know, houses, boyfriends, cars, you know, everything's come and gone. But the Classic, I mean, this is the 30th anniversary. I've been part of every 30. Wow. Because I'm very old and very tired.

And, you know, that's why, I mean, 8.30 seems very late to me. You'll need some Red Bull to pick you up. I'll need a little bit of Diet Coke. Why not? Josh Thompson was trying to get me to come to his 9.30 show. I said there this no way Just ludicrous Who's up at that time?

Although that's a pretty good double banger If you go to mine at 8.30 and rush over to Josh's I would highly recommend it A little double dip A double dip I'll back out of what I was going to say I'll never say no to a double dip Never

You want to see Justine Her opening night is tonight at the Classic. She's on until the 13th and then catch her in Wellington from the 23rd to the 27th. Thanks so much for coming in and chatting. Thanks, Brie. Thanks, Maddie. Love you both.

Love you. Brie and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is the latest. Oh, big news in New Zealand today, Maddie. It's huge. Huge. Huge. Huge, massive. New Zealand rugby has got a mention on The Simpsons.

This is wild. And they also kind of took a stab at New Zealand rugby. Well, a specific region in New Zealand. Yes, exactly. Let's take a listen. Let's take a listen to this clip. Don't mind if I do. Hmm.

Ooh, New Zealand rugby. Yeah, whatever rugby is, Wellington sucks at it. Shots fired. So Bart Simpson in this episode was trying to bet on some cryptocurrency website and found that he could bet on a New Zealand rugby game and obviously bet for Wellington to win, and they didn't. Oh. Shots fired.

Shots fired. Pretty amazing, though, to get such a big mention on one of the biggest cartoons ever created. And don't we love it? Don't we love hearing our name mentioned anywhere? Oh, you just eat it up, Matty. You just want more. Well, a reporter's actually hit up Artie Savia,

the All Black and Hurricanes player from Wellington, and showed him a clip of the Simpsons mentioning Wellington rugby. This is what he had to say about it. Did he just say, well, it's a success? We're the champs, man. Oh, that's pretty cool, eh? Yeah, even if they're firing shots,

you can't help but be a little bit stoked that they're mentioning your name. Absolutely. I'd be so stoked. And I'm a Hurricanes girl through and through. Hurricanes, Hurricanes. Let's bring it home. That is the latest. Pretty amazing.

Getting a mention on The Simpsons. Maddie McLean joining us and good timing because it's about to do Birthday Banger. Am I speaking English? It's about to do

Birthday Banger. I'm running on fumes today? It's about to do, Birthday Banger. I'm running on fumes today. It's fine. You're doing so well. Hey, we're getting there. But Birthday Banger's my favourite part of the show. I love Birthday Banger. What's yours?

Mine is Mario, Let You Love Me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what's yours? Everall the Thing Complicated. Oh, good. Yeah. Suits you. Yeah, it's a good one.

I'm so good. I love it. Yeah, it's a good one. I'm sorry. I love it. I almost swore at you. Did you? What word did you almost say? The F-bomb. The F-bomb. It's one of those days.

One of those days. Anyway, let's find out what the number one song is on your 16th birthday. Corey's here with us. Hi, Corey. G'day, Corey. Hey, team. How we going? Good, mate.

How's your day been? Oh, yeah, pretty easy, eh? Yeah. Bought myself a wine. A wine? What wine are you drinking, Corey? Oh, it's Pinot Gris. Oh, Pinot Gris.

Love it. Yeah, love a bit of Pinot Gris. Love it. Love it, Corey. What's your birthday, Corey? 13th of October, 1991. Right, mate. That means you were 16 in 2007.

And on your 16th birthday, this was at the top. Why don't you sit down on top of me? Banger. Damn. It's a banger. I'm not a fan, but it's a banger. of me? Banger. Damn. It's a banger. I'm not a fan, but it's a banger. It is a banger, yeah. And like we say every time, you don't choose the birthday banger,

the birthday banger chooses you, Corey. Exactly right. 50 Cent and JT. Not a bad one to kick us off, Corey. Let's talk to Nicole. G'day, Nicole. Hi, how are you guys? Good.

How's your day going, Nicole? Yeah, pretty good. Just been at the library all day, so not exactly as fun as a pinot gris. Studying, Nicole? Yeah, I am, unfortunately. Exam's coming up. What are you studying? I'm doing a conjoint of science and commerce.

Wow. Jeez. God, you need a wine after that. Yeah, I know. I think I'm going to go home for one soon. Yeah, good. I'm really proud of the fact that I did a four-year uni degree, never stepped foot in the library.

And that's probably why I got C's. C's get degrees, Nicole. And why are you working? I know, that's a motto. Excuse you, Maddie. But you're right. I don't use my degree. Hey, Nicole, what's your birthday?

5th of July, 2001. All right, mate. That means you were 16 in 2017. And back on the 5th of July in 2017, this was number one. Despacito. Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito. Deja que te diga cosas a lo... Oh, Nicole, let's go to Barcelona. It's good.

It's good, Nicole. I'm calling it, really. Yeah. I loved it. It gets the old hips going, doesn's go to Barcelona. It's good. It's good, Nicole. I'm calling it, really. Yeah. I loved it. It gets the old hips going, doesn't it? Yeah. A little bit fancy in JB. That's a tune.

Yes. I really like that one. That's a good one, Nicole. We've got to do one more. Let's talk to Christal. G'day, mate. Hi. Hi.

How are you? Good, and yourself? Great. How's your day going? Oh, yeah, busy. Busy. Whereabouts in the how are you? Good and yourself? Great. How's your day going? Oh, yeah, busy. Busy. Whereabouts in the country are you? We're in Christchurch. Oh, lovely. How good's Christchurch?

Oh, brilliant. Oh, you can't beat it, mate. You can't beat it. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your date of birth? Oh, gosh, 19 September 1981. All right, that means you were 16 in 1997. And in 97 on that day, this was number one.

Oh, yeah. Banger, Cristal. So good, Cristal. That is a good one. I like it. Mate, Will Smith, Men in Crystal. That's a good one. I like it. Mate, Will Smith, Men in Black. Obviously, that would have been the first Men in Black movie. Yeah, it would have been. Yep, definitely. Yeah, do you like it?

Ah, yeah, we'll take it. All right, hold there because we need to vote. Yeah, we do. I mean, I like them all today. So do I. They are all really good, but I know what I'm going for. You know what you're going for? I'm sticking strong. I don I know what I'm going for. You know what you're going for? I'm sticking strong.

I don't know what you're going for. Do you want to say it on the count of three? Okay. You've got yours? I've got mine. Okay. One, two, three. Men in Black. Estelle, you've picked up the win, mate. Nice work. Magnificent. We'll get it on for you right now.

This is your birthday banger for a Wednesday. Men in Black, Will Smith. How's it going? See you, mate. Men in Black. It's the MIBs. Here come the MIBs. Here come the Men in Black.

Bree and Clint. Time to play. I've got a pad for time. Matty McLean's joining us. And that's how it's done because it's time to play Google Down. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you? It's time for Bree and Clint's Google Down.

Punk. Yahoo! A very interesting game of Google Down this afternoon. That's a new intro since I last played. Yes, you haven't heard the new... No, I like it. We've got a lot of new intros for stuff. Yeah, I like it.

Just to freshen it up a bit. But something that's also going to be a bit fresh is we have a two-person game of Google Down this afternoon. Okay. It's Maddie McLean versus the reigning champion, the Queen Bee, producer Claudia. And if you want to win yourself 50 KFC chicken dollars, pretty simple.

All you have to do is text either Maddie McLean or producer Claudia to 9696, whoever you think is going to get the win. And if you're right, you pick up the KFC chicken dollars. Brilliant. Okay. So just to go over the rules again, in if you're right, you pick up the KFC chicken dollars. Brilliant. Okay? So just to go over the rules again in case anyone's forgotten, I have put these exact questions into Google,

and I'm looking for the first most common answer that comes up on Google. If you're the first person to yell it out, you get the point. First to three points wins. Bring it on. I'm worried. You're so competitive. I am, but I don't have a good track record with this game. The odds are in your favour today, though.

I mean, Claude is the best player that we've seen in this game ever. But, you know. Stop. I'm trying to psych her out for you, Maddie. I'm looking at the names that are coming through, and I don't know that anyone has picked me. Although one person has said, Madty effing McLean. Love that for them. Okay, here we go. Question number

one. Google is ready? Ready. Okay. Who wrote the book The Great Gatsby? If Scott Fitzgerald. That's right. How dare you? I forgot to mention you are allowed to yell out an answer if you just know. But that's right. Thank you. Big fan of the Gatsby? Yeah, I like the movie.

Yeah? I've actually never read the book. So how do you know who wrote it? I'm just very smart. And I'm not. One to Maddie McLean. Good start for you. Yeah, that's beginner's luck.

Thank you. Beginner's luck. Question number two. How long do koalas live for? Most common answer that comes up on Google. 13 to 18 years. That's right, producer Claude. She's here to play.

We love it. We love to see it. One to Maddie. One to Claude. Question love it. We love to see it. One to Maddie, one to Claude. Question number three. What year did the Spice Girls have their first big hit with Wannabe? 1997. 1996.

No! Oh, Claudia! Maddie took a stab and he was bloody close. But he was one year off. Damn! That was so much earlier than I thought. I know, right? 1996.

That is correct, Claude. The point goes to you. Two to Claude, one to Maddie. Question number four. Is it first to three? First to three. Oh, no. So she could take it here.

You need this one. Okay. Okay. Question number four. In metres, how long was the Titanic? 269 metres. I'm going to say Maddie McLean got it just there. Oh, no, is this tie-break?

This is the tie-break. Oh, I'm sweaty. Oh, damn. This is such a good game. Okay, two apiece, the tie-break question. Come on, oh, my God, I'm sweaty. Oh, damn. This is such a good game. Okay. Two apiece. The tie break question. Come on.

Oh, my God, I'm shaking. Here we go. Playing for people who have texted through on the text machine 9696, they're going to pick up 50 KFC chicken dollars. Here we go for the win. How many years has Adam Sandler been married? Oh, no, 48. Oh. Oh, married? Oh, no. 48.

Oh. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Claude is out. Oh, no. If Maddie can get it. Huh? 20 years.

He's gone. Oh. He's done it, Producer Claude. You had a mistake. I've told you I've lost my mojos. Mate, you were right in that game. No doubting it. Matty, how does it feel?

It feels good. That's my first ever win on Google Darts. Mate, so you just needed to believe and for Claudia to have her stuff up on the last question. You poor bugger. Maddie McLean and I are just having our eyes opened to a scandalous world, aren't we?

Well, you told me about a story about a woman who invited her best friend to come and live with her during COVID times. Yes. Did the guy a favour? Yeah, did the guy a favour. He was losing his apartment and so needed somewhere to stay. So she said, come and stay with me. I live with my mum.

We've got a spare room. It'll be perfect. Great. The three of them got along famously. Two of them more so. Really famous famously. Yeah, might have expected. Yeah.

The mum and the best friend sat this young woman down and said, look, we've been seeing each other behind your back and we're engaged to get married. Hooray! Crazy story. So we're asking for your stories on 0800DIALZM or you can text them through to 9696. Did one of your friends hook up or date one of your parents?

Let's talk to Anonymous first. G'day, Anonymous. Hi, how are you? Good, thank you. Okay. We're so interested, Anonymous. This is wild because I really didn't know how this was going to go. But there are stories out there.

Tell us yours. So this is juicy, if anything, and probably not one of my proudest moments in life, might I add. Okay, wait. Wait a second. It's okay. Is it you, Anonymous? It is.

It is a bit of me. It's all right. It's okay. This is a safe space. Safe space. Tell us what happened. All right. So I had a best friend of about 12 years.

Okay. So we went all through pretty much inter-primary, intermediate, high school together. And when I was starting to, you know, go through puberty and whatnot, obviously you start to find different people attractive. And I'd always said, oh, your dad's a bit of me. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's one of those things that you joked around when you were young saying, oh, your dad, you've got a hot dad.

Yeah, hot dad, hot dad. And anyway, I got to about 18 and her dad and her mum split up. Okay. And about a week later, her dad slid into my DMs. What? Yeah. So full on, like, hey, always kind of thought you were cute. Oh, no.

Creepy, Anonymous. Creepy. For me, I was like, oh, I've hit the jackpot. Oh, no. My God. I feel like it's a plot line from a TV show. Oh, my God. You would think so, honestly.

So you went there? I went there. So we were seeing each other for about over three months so it had been like a decent amount of time like sneaking around and anyway there was one night like uh i don't know what they were they were doing but she was at her dad's house and my like my name popped up on his phone and so she turned around was like what on earth is she doing talking to you? And he spilled the beans completely. Oh my God.

Are you still friends? Well, she ended up giving me an ultimatum, pretty much saying it's either me or my dad. And please tell me you chose the best friend. I'm not anonymous. No. Damn. Ruthless, my friend. When the dead's hot, the dead's hot.

Regain your faith in me a little bit. So at first I was like, hold on, this is the situation. Give me a couple of weeks because I really want to try and figure out if this is something legit or whether this is something you know that is not worth losing my best friend over and after those couple of weeks I we had some really serious conversations and I pretty much said to him look like I need to make this decision and he was like well I want you like you know I would want to marry you blah blah and I was like you know what no I you, like, you know, I want to marry you, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you know what?

No, I need my best friend. Good on you, Anonymous. Good decision, my friend. You came through in the end. Nice work. That was a wild ride. Thank you, Anonymous. Thank you for calling in.

Thank you for sharing, Anonymous. Oh, you're so welcome. What a rollercoaster. What a rollercoaster. Some of these texts are wild, like this one. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, fast forward five years, and I'm now engaged to her mother. What?

What? How does that even happen? It's bonkers. I wonder what the ex-girlfriend would be ropeable. Oh, my God. Wouldn't you? You'd be so ropeable. This one's even more juicy.

My ex cheated on me with my best friend, so I slept with his dad. He still has no idea. That is ultimate revenge. All right, let's take one more call. This is another anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi.

Hit us with the juicy details. Okay, so my mum's always been a bit of a single mum. Right, okay. Me and some friends were hanging out, and one of our friends left a little bit earlier than us, and I drove home. I got home, and I could definitely hear mum either watching some indoor gardening

or doing some indoor gardening. Okay, got it. How? Got it. Start knocking on the door, and I turn around, and my friend's car is parked in my driveway. No. Anonymous. No.

No. Oh, no. Oh, did you confront your friend about it? My friend's getting out of my house. Oh, God. Are you still friends with the friend? No. No.

Oh, anonymous. Yeah, it's hard to come back from that. It's really hard to come back. I don't know. You see them and all you can see is that. You're like, oh. Good for mum, though. She's not a regular mum.

I'm a cool mum. She's going for what she wants and she's getting it. She's getting it all. And anonymous, has it happened again or just that one time? Three times. No. Wait, not with the same person or different friends? No, three different friends.

Wow. Damn, how hot is your mum? She's like nearly 60. Wow. She must be rocking it, Anonymous. I'm picturing Stifler's mum from American Pie. Yeah, Jennifer Coolidge vibes. Like a complete opposite.

Complete opposite. Good for mum, though. Thanks for calling through Anonymous. I mean, juicy stories on the air this afternoon. We need to discuss this A-list celebrity. They're 79, and they've announced that they've welcomed their seventh child into the world. Seven. I mean, first of all, that's a lot of kids.

A lot of kids, yeah. But how old are we talking? 79. So Robert De Niro, I mean, we all know Robert De Niro, very famous, has announced that he's welcomed his seventh child. And it was actually kind of by accident. He was asked by a reporter on ET Canada what it was like to be a father of six children. And apparently he just corrected the reporter and said, seven actually, I had another baby. And so no one really knew. Unreal. Yeah.

Let's go through some of the dating history of Robert De Niro because I mean I never knew all that much because I love Robert De Niro. He reminds me quite a lot of my dad. Like he looks kind of like my dad. Do you know what? I mean as is your dad, Robert De Niro, he's got something about him. He does. And my dad also has a bunch of kids and multiple wives. No, he doesn't but um so apparently he was married to a woman a woman

named grace hightower for 20 years and split from her in 2018 um and then he shares two children with a woman named drina and then um also also has two kids with another woman and then has another child with his ex-wife and then also has twin sons with his former girlfriend, Tookie Smith. Oh, my God. No reports who the mother is of this seventh child, though. That's all kind of on the down low at the moment.

Although he did, I'm reading, have a much younger girlfriend recently called Tiffany Chen, who he met on the set of The Intern, that movie that he was on a few years ago with Anna Hathaway. Yes, they were photographed last year together. She might be the, I don't want to speculate too much, but she might be the mother. Could be. Yes. Could be. Yes, could be.

I mean, 79 and you're having a baby, not to be judgmental. No, but those are. But you're going to die soon. Also, those are your years for relaxing. Like you've done the hard yards. You don't want to be running around, getting up at night time, you know. No, that's your time to just sit back, relax, put your feet up. Absolutely.

You don't want to be changing diapers at 79. I don't have energy now. I know. Like I just picture like how much energy would he have? He's got seven kids that he's running around after. I think his oldest kid is 51. So that's a big spanning sibling group, isn't it?

So, dare I say it, those are some strong bloody swimmers for a 79-year-old, aren't they? True. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I mean, it's the way that it is, Maddie. Us ladies, we dry up real early and you guys just keep going. You live on, do what you please. Just get the snap, mate, you know? Yeah. Well, I mean, maybe it's quite interesting to me, people who have kids so late, because I always think about, you know,

how long you're going to get with those kids. Yes. And it's a hard one because obviously it's 79. You don't – maybe he's got another 25 years. He absolutely might. He absolutely might. Who knows? But it's kind of the unknown, isn't it?

I thought we could ask people because I find it quite interesting. Who had a baby really late? Like and how old were they? Maybe it was your granddad. Did you have a horned up granddad? Yeah, who started a second life, you know, and he was having kids when he was 70-something. There'll be some good stories out there.

There will be. So give us a call, 0800-DIAL-ZDM, or you can text your stories through to 9696 as well. Let's talk to Susan. She's a midwife. G'day, Susan. Can you hear me? Yes, we can. God, you must have seen some things, Susan. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, so this happened when I was working actually in London as a private midwife. Okay. And if I say the name, people know who I'm talking about because I'm a very famous person. But the father was 94 and the wife was 43. No way, Susan. The father was 94 and the wife was 43. No way, Susan.

The father was 94? Yeah. Oh, my God. You've got to be joking. And the mum was... Wow. And did they have to do IVF or was that just naturally? Do you know?

No, it was IVF. I know because I was a private midwife to his wife right he told me the whole the whole story and she she did say it was idf pregnancy i was gonna say otherwise he's got a definitely a collection of little blue pearls in his side doesn't he but he does he does have um i think two or three um um daughters, they have children of their own. And, you know, I think the grandchild, I think the youngest was about like seven or eight. And he was having the first child with this wife. And she was 43 and he was 94.

That is wild. That's got to be some kind of a record, surely. Wild. Got to be some kind of a record, Susan. Thanks so much for calling up. That is an amazing story. Someone's texting and saying, my great-granddad walked my great-aunt to school on her first day.

He was 75. 70? She was one of 11, the youngest of 11 children. Wow. Wild. Hey, there's so many texts coming through. Someone said granddad is 79 and his oldest is 60 and youngest is two. Wow.

So he was having another baby when he was 77. So here we are thinking Robert De Niro is crazy, but it's just the path of the course. Yeah, if you've got the swimmers. It's just a normal story. Yeah, that's amazing. Thanks so much for your calls. Bree and Clint. It's the end of the course. Yeah, if you've got the swimmers. It's just a normal story. Yeah, that's amazing. Thanks so much for your calls. It's the end of the show.

Yeah, it's come to an end, but for today. For today. We'll be back tomorrow. We had some good fun on the show today. If you want to get the podcast, Justine Smith joined us. We also put someone else in the draw to see Ed Sheeran live in Vancouver. I'll tell you what. I'm just trying to think of what it would be like if I called someone

and tried to slip in some Ed Sheeran looks. I would be so clumsy. Should we try it with your husband, Ryan, tomorrow? Should we? Oh, my God, I can't wait. I know if I tried with anyone, they'd be like, is this some sort of prank, Brianna? What are you doing?

I can just picture my mum, eh? No, but she falls for everything you do. Well, it's getting harder and harder. Like, we got her recently with a Survivor Australia spoiler, and she was rope-able. But it's getting harder and harder to get her. She's quite onto it these days, Maddie. You can still get her the classic prank where you say that your school friend won the lottery.

Katie Drage has won the lotto. I reckon you can still get her with that. Mate, you should call her tomorrow and we should try and prank her. Yeah, all right, let's do it. Okay, fun times on the show tomorrow. Maddie McLean will be back. And stay safe out there. We'll see you then.

Play ZM's Brand Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. be back and stay safe out there. We'll see you then.