ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 12th February 2025

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

When household items attack.  Comedy tattoos.  Did you barely last a day at a job?  New Zealand's cheapest house.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify

or wherever you get your podcasts The ZM Podcast Network ZM's Bree and Clint Cheers to Max, available on Neon Stream now from just $12.99 a month Tonight, we are going to witness the most anticipated show in the history of professional radio. Dead End, Brie and Clint.

Stop what you're doing. The semi-finals for Dish of the Nation have just closed. Oh my god. They have just closed. Brie and I do not know what the winner was yet. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.

It's literally been within 10 votes of each other for 24 hours. So let's start. Let's start with the other one, shall we? Obviously, that was a clear winner. That was a clear winner. I'm going to have to go into our archive. The pie was out in front from the start to the finish. If you missed it, we're trying to figure out what the dish of the nation is.

New Zealand's ultimate dish. We started with 32. We're down to the bottom four. Obviously, the pie destroyed Hokey Pokey ice cream. Yep. 74%. So that's through. What the meat pie is through to the grand final.

This is going to be the dish that represents New Zealand as a country. It's big. The other one was 50-50 for 24 hours. You could not separate the two. You could not separate the two. It was sausage and bread versus kiwi onion dip. It's literally just closed, so I'm just refreshing. It was still 50-50 when I saw it closing.

So we have to go into the back end and see what the actual vote said. Oh my God, I can't even get it. You can't get it? I can't get it. So how are you going to know? Are you having any luck with this? Let me have a go. I can't believe the controversy.

There were thousands and thousands of votes on kiwi onion dip versus sausage and bread. Let me have a look. And the whole time it was never more than 40 votes apart. Okay, so here it is here. Can we get into the back end of it? I've got it. Have you got it?

I've got it. I have the results. Are we ready? Uh-huh. Joining the meat pie. Joining the meat pie with 3,280 votes. Sausage and bread! Yes!

Suck it, Cordia. Sausage and bread had 3,280 votes. Kiwi onion dip, 3,254 votes. It was less than... It was a late run right at the end. Wow. That is crazy that it's come down to that close. It was less than... It was a late run right at the end. Wow. That is crazy that it's come down to that close.

Look how close it is. It's literally 50-50. It's a difference of 26 votes. 36 votes. Which is unheard of in those Instagram polls. Like, you just don't see that. It's the closest battle we've had all competition. If you're deep invested in this,

we're going to hold off posting the grand final until 5 o'clock because we'd like it to end at 5 o'clock in our show tomorrow. So 24 hours of voting. We will get meat pie versus sausage and bread in the grand final live on the Brian Clint Instagram. One of those will be our Dish of the Nation tomorrow. The representative dish of the country will be crowned on the show tomorrow. We're taking this so seriously.

And so we should. Yeah. And we hope you are. That's big news. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, first up, let's get into Tradiverse Lady. 9-6 to the ladies. Who's going to take it out today? 0800 dial ZM. There's 50 bucks cash up for grabs. If you missed it, big news. The semi-finals are closed andage and Bread beat Kiwi Onion Dip.

Note that we were biased. Note that we were biased. I now kind of see the light and I would have been happy with either. Yeah, we got really caught up in it. We got too caught up in it. I know. Which is good because it means we've got passion. Yeah.

But if Kiwi Onion Dip had went through, also a very worthy opponent. Kiwi Onion Dip versus pie. Great battle. Worthy final. Great battle. Instead, very meaty final. Sausage and bread versus meat pie. We've lost our vegetarian listeners.

Yeah. Well, no. Some of them could be those disgusting vegetarian sausages. And there's also vegetarian pies. Yeah. Some of them could be those disgusting vegetarian sausages. And there's also vegetarian pies. Can I just clarify, the pie is everything. It's all types of pies. No, it's not apple pie. Not apple pie.

No. It's all type of handheld savoury pies. Yeah. Yeah. So you can have fish pie. Yeah. You can have power pie. You could have one of those chickpea pies.

Wait, are we getting behind the pie now? I don't know what's happening. It's Tradie versus Lady. Three, two, one, let's go. Okay, Tradie versus Lady. Six Tradies, nine Ladies. Today joining us to play is a lady from Hamilton. She's 39 and she supports the Crusaders.

Even though she lives in Hamilton, welcome to the show, Hannah. G'day, Hannah. Obviously not originally from Hamilton, or you are? No, no, yeah, born in Christchurch, sorry. Yeah, right. Brie and I are off to Christchurch tomorrow. Well, tell them when you said hello. Yeah, cool, she said.

You're taking on Trady from Christchurch. He's 23 and he just came out to his friends and family. Welcome to the show, Simon. Simon! How you going? No, Simon, you need a bigger welcome to the Brie and Clint show. You know how we talked about if anyone comes out, then the new Lady Gaga.

Oh, is that what we do? Yeah, yeah, right. Oh, wait, Simon, hold on. Are we ready? No. Oh, okay. Just one sec, Simon. This deserves a bigger celebration.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a big deal. Okay, yeah, yeah. Please welcome... Still finding it? Yeah, no, no, I'm good, I'm good. Please welcome to the show, Simon. I've been pulling away this time, it, no, I'm good. I'm good. Please welcome to the show, Simon.

Let's go, baby. It's bright. It's beautiful on this side, Simon. Yeah. All right, good man. And that's it. Now we cut the music and it all goes back to normal. Hannah, you're lady.

Simon, you're tradie. The first of three correct answers wins 50 bucks cash. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one. Amelia, who was the first woman pilot to fly solo across the Atlantic? Tradie. Yes, Simon. Earnhardt.

Amelia Earnhardt. I'll give it to him. Yeah. I'll give it to him. Earhart. Earnhardt. Yeah, we'll take it. He knew what he was talking about.

One to the tradies. Question number two. Hannah's not happy. What sport does Coco Gough play? Are you a tradie? Yes, Simon. Tennis? Yeah.

God. I keep saying lady. So, Claudia, are you getting anything? Are you guys, can you guys hear me? We can hear you now, yeah. Yeah, we couldn't hear you before, though. I said lady twice, but it doesn't happen. Okay, what do we do?

I don't know. That's all right, keep going. Okay, you're not out of it yet. Oh, you're a good sport. You're not out of it yet. Here comes question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this. Thumbtongue.

Thumbtongue. Simon. It's Albert. Harper. Harper. Simon. Macklemore. Would you like a free guess, Hannah? Sorry, I didn't know who it was. No, okay. Yeah, you said Macklemore after the buzzer, so we'll keep going.

All right, question number four. Still two to the tradies. This is a mess. How many dwarf friends did Snow White have? Simon. Seven. Seven is correct. Well done.

Some technical difficulties. Could it have been a bad line? Possibly. But either way. Hey, Hannah. Hannah, can we get Hannah's number? You can play again tomorrow, Hannah. Redemption round for Hannah. I don't love that.

I'm all right. I think it was a bad line. She doesn't want to. She's like, no, I'd rather not. Simon, you win $50 cash. Congratulations. That's awesome. Thanks, guys.

You're very welcome. Well done, Simon. There's a Kiwi woman in the news today who says her Kmart mop tried to kill her. Oh, I've seen that episode. Off? That show. Black Mirror? Yeah.

My household item is trying to kill me. She actually didn't say that word for word, but she did miss a week of work and she got a really bad infection from it. What did it do? Her name's Sophie Andrews. She's from Canterbury. She was using the Anko 3-in-1 Mop and Bucket Set from Kmart. So just like a mop. God, Anko do everything,

don't they? They really make everything. If there's something that you like and it's too expensive, just wait nine months. Anko's bringing it out. Anko will bring it out. Anko will go, oh, you like that thing, do you? One of the best deals we got at Kmart, I don't know if it's Anko, but it was dog crates. Oh, yeah.

Which, like, the fancy ones. Yeah. Are, like, so expensive. They're, like, 300 bucks, eh? Yeah. And at Kmart, they're, like, 30 bucks. Oh, good. Anyway, this is not an ad for Kmart, okay?

Although we love you. Sophie Andrews, she bought that mop in January. Then she said the handle fell off and it exposed a really sharp metal pipe on the inside, which pierced her thigh. Which I can't work out. Was she riding the Anko 3-in-1 mop like Elphaba in Wicked? Sounds like it.

Was she? How did it get from mopping the floor to going through her thigh? I mean, it's the same question that I'm sure emergency doctors have to answer all the time. How did you slip and fall and it ended

up inside you? In your thigh. Sorry, in your thigh. No, I just figured it out. Maybe the floor was slippery because she was mopping. Could have been. Sorry, in your thigh. No, I just figured it out. Maybe the floor was slippery because she was mopping. Could have been. Anyway, the wound got infected and she took a week off work and she's on antibiotics, yada, yada, yada.

She's okay. That sounds hectic. Someone who likes to catastrophize, like me, could say she could have lost her leg. She could have. If she didn't get the infection sorted. Anyway, the mop could have killed her. It could have lost her leg. She could have. If she didn't get the infection sorted. Anyway, the mop could have killed her.

It could have. It was out to get her by the sounds. Anything in your house, anything in your house, given the right opportunity, will kill you. Any item in your house, you give it one chance, it's going to kill you. That mop should be sent to prison. It should get life.

No chance of parole. Absolutely not. Yeah. We wanted to ask, I know $800.00 this afternoon, what is the household item that nearly killed you? What is the thing that you ended up in a tussle with, you slipped over with, you used incorrectly, and it put you in A&E?

It put you on your back. It almost bloody killed you. Made you second guess everything. You're like, wait a second. I got my hand jammed in one of those electric egg beaters once and I thought I was going to lose my finger. Was that the egg beater's fault or was that your fault? It was my fault.

But they don't go in reverse. Do they not? Well, not the one that we had. Do they go in reverse? No, they don't go in reverse. Wait, I'm trying to picture. You know the egg beater? It's like you hold the motor and you click in the two whisks on the end of it.

You mean a cake mixer? Yeah, I guess. An egg beater? Electric egg beater, electric cake, electric beater. Do you call it an electric egg beater? An electric beater. An electric beater. An electric beater.

It's the item that everyone had in their household growing up. Yes. And your mum says, I got that as a wedding present 20 years ago. And you've still got the two whisks. Yes. But not the egg beater. Yep. Claudia?

The exact same thing happened to me. Did it? Yeah. 100% my fault as well. But your hand goes halfway in and you let go of the button and then your hand's just there and you're like, my goodness. Exactly. Yeah, and it's all bent around through the whis my god! And then you just have to keep going

to get all the way through. Same thing happened to me but it was my tongue. It's not related to the cake batter incident. Me trying to taste what was on the batter. And yet there are still worse things you could get stuck in the egg beater.

I mean, there is. What is the household item that nearly killed you? There are still worse things you could get stuck in the egg beater. I mean, there is. Oh, Andrew Diles at Emerald Text 9696. What is the household item that nearly killed you? Brianne Clint. The lady claims a household mop was nearly the end of her. Went through her leg. The end of it came off and the mop went through her leg. Yeah, that's scary stuff.

That's why you've got to avoid housework. That's like House of Wax Paris Hilton stuff. Yeah, yeah. Do you get that reference? Nah. I wonder if anyone got to avoid housework. That's like House of Wax, Paris Hilton stuff. Yeah, yeah. Do you get that reference? Nah. I wonder if anyone got that reference just then. House of Wax, Paris Hilton style. Yeah.

She ever dalliance with a mop? Nah, but it's a horror film. Oh, yeah. And the way she dies is a pole goes through her eye. Grim. I wonder if anyone got that right. Well, this is the thigh for this lady. So we're asking what's the household item that tried to kill you?

And Jared's called up. Hi, Jared. Hi, Jared. How's it going, guys? You all right? Yeah, we're all right. Good, thanks, mate. What was it?

What's the household item that nearly took a life in your house? So about seven or eight years ago, my wee boy, he was three. He was cruising around the house naked, as you do when you're young. Yeah. And he was holding a little Thomas and the Tendron battery power. Oh, yeah. And he got it, he had it turned on, and he got it a bit close to his downstairs.

Oh, no. And it caught on his foreskin. Oh, oh. And it latched on. And the wheels kind of chewed it up a bit and I heard the screams so I quickly turned it off but it had done a bit of damage

and it kind of wound it round in there. Are you telling me that Thomas the Tank Engine circumcised your son? Yeah, honestly his mum was going oh no, Thomas did his diddle. And I was going, don't say Thomas did his diddle. Thomas, no, he didn't do his, Thomas chewed, chewed, chewed his diddle.

Oh, chewed it right up. Oh, you poor little boy. My question is, because Thomas is so big, especially with little boys, is he able to still watch Thomas the Tank Engine or was he scarred for life? I think he's scarred. Honestly, it's scarred him.

Yeah, he's a Peppa Pig man now. Yeah, fair enough. Thanks for a very graphic story, Jared. We appreciate it. I always knew that Thomas the Tank Engine had some ulterior motives, you know? He just looked like he was a bit of a mean bugger.

Someone said, I used a butter knife to separate frozen sausages. I cut the end of my finger off with a butter knife. God, it must have been a sharp butter knife. I've done that, trying to separate frozen bits of vogels. It's so dangerous. I think they might be on the phone as well. Someone else has done similar. Hello, Alicia.

Hi. That was you. Yes. How bad was it? How much of the finger? Like, are we talking, like, down past the first knuckle? So it was sort of, like, just the end, like, my fingertips. So, like, most of my fingerprint was gone.

Is it back? Because I just pretty much took the whole of it off. Is it back? Does it grow back? No, it doesn't grow back. No, it's just scarred and looks all messed up now. So is the top of one of your fingers just all nail? Not all nail,

no, but my nail's like really short now. Yeah, right. Do you defrost your sausages properly now? Yeah, and I also don't try and separate them with knives. Exactly, yeah. Car out, Alicia, that's a bloody horror story. Someone said I got my hair sucked into the fan while I was doing that funny robot voice thing.

You know when you talk into the fan? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. And I nearly got scalped. Good times.

That's, you know, when I was a kid, that's my worst nightmare. That and pool filters, eh? Yeah, getting caught on the pool filter. You always get told about the pool filter. This one is a tale all too many girls know too well. I sat on my hair straighteners and got third-degree burns on my ass. On a hair straightener? Mm.

The number of... I don't... You don't hear... I stood on one once and got a third-degree burn on the bottom of my foot. I've had multiple female flatmates who have crimped their ear. Ear's bad. Very common one is the neck. And I'm sticking to that story. Oh yeah, it's not a hickey. It's a hair straightener. It does. If you burn yourself with a hair straightener on your neck, it looks exactly like a hickey. My toasty maker blew up in my face. I

lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. Wow. You know, I realised the other day that My toasty maker blew up in my face. I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. Wow! You know, I realised the other day that my toasty machine, you know the sandwich press, I had had it for 20 years and I got it second hand from a workplace that I used to work at. So who knows how long they had had it. You probably should throw that out. And when I explained

that to my wife, she said, get rid of that toasty machine right now. Yeah, that's a bloody hazard waiting to happen. But I mean, all I want to know from that story, the person that lost their eyebrows and eyelashes, was the toasty okay? That's a good question. You know, like it doesn't say what happened to the toasty. Someone else said, I got my tongue stuck in the freezer. Like Homer Simpson. Could have froze to death, they said. Yeah, you could have said. You could have.

You could have. You actually could have. You have our sympathy. Someone said I cut my toe off with a glass coffee table. That sounds really bad. That's so heavy those glass coffee tables. Yeah. Someone said I was opening a cat food can.

One with a pull tab and my thumb slipped as it opened, and it cut right open on the freshly opened lid of the can. That's also my worst nightmare. Was the cat food okay? Yeah, how was the cat food? Much like the toasty, was the cat food okay? Yeah.

A bit of blood in the cat food? Was the cat like, mmm, medium rare? Oh, that's messed up. One more. They said, I was sitting on a fold-up chair. It snapped, and my hand was underneath. My finger got stuck said, I was sitting on a fold-up chair. It snapped and my hand was underneath. My finger got stuck, so I pulled it out. I was out and ripped my complete nail off in my bone. Oh! My bone came out of my finger. My finger has never been the same.

Worst part, it's my middle finger. That's a deterrent to use it, isn't it? I'd be gutted. I'd be gutted about that. It is the best one. You're just giving all your enemies the thumbs up now? Yeah. People in traffic are like, that woman should be really angry at me, but she's giving me the thumbs up.

We just shut down the semi-final of Dish of the Nation. It just closed. 24 hours of voting on pie vs hokey pokey ice cream and sausage and bread versus kiwi onion dip. God. The amount of times that we, as a show, have been messaging each other across the last 24 hours

about the battle between sausage and bread and kiwi onion dip, you haven't been able to split them. It's been 50-50 down the middle for 24 hours, and it was like that until the end. We're talking thousands of votes. Thousands and thousands of votes. And for it to be separated by ultimately, what did we decide, Claudia?

36 votes was the difference between the two in the end. Yeah, quick math. It is 36 votes. There were 6,500 votes in this category. Wait, that's 26 votes. Is it 26 votes? Yeah. That's insane.

26 votes. Ultimately, it was sausage and bread, which we are happy about. But I am actually sad to see Kiwi Onion Dip go. Yeah, Kiwi Onion Dip is so iconic and so delicious. And so Kiwi. Do you reckon anyone else is as invested in this competition as what we have been? Yeah, I reckon at least 6,500 people are. I hope so.

I'm so invested. And this is the disappointing thing is half of the people who are participating in this are going to be really stoked that sausage and bread has gone through and half are going to be devastated that kiwi onion dip is gone. But maybe you hope that they at least got their other top pick in the other battle.

I think I might have just invented something. What? Is this good or disgusting? What if you had a sausage and bread but you buttered the bread with kiwi onion dip? Yeah, yum. Yum, right? Yeah. Is that the ultimate Kiwi sausage and bread?

Yeah, it could be. Could be. Anyway, pie smashed hokey pokey ice cream. How about this? Pie filled with Kiwi onion dip. With a sausage sticking out the top of it. Yeah. On a bed of hokey pokey ice cream. Oh, yum.

It's like sweet and salty. So we've got our finalists. We've gone all the way through this and we have reached the final two. Oh my God. I don't know who I'm going to vote for. This is it. You will get one vote.

Everybody listening now will get one vote unless you've got two Instagram accounts, in which case you'll get two votes. Or Claudia, who's got three Instagram accounts, so she'll get three votes. So she can vote for both of them. You could, and then have a deciding vote on top. At five o'clock today, the final will go live.

It will be meat pie versus savory pie. Savory pie. Savory pie. It covers all pies. So if you are that way inclined, it could be a vegetarian pie. It could be a fish pie. Could be any type of pie. It's not a sweet pie. Savory pie. Savory pie. It covers all pies. So if you are that way inclined, it could be a vegetarian pie. It could be a fish pie. Could be any type of pie. It's not a sweet pie.

It's not an apple pie. Has to be savoury. Handheld pie versus sausage and bread. It's a good final. Did I think that would be the final? Yeah, kind of. I didn't. You didn't? At the start of this competition, I did not see this being the final. What do you think was going would be the final? Yeah, kind of. I didn't. You didn't?

At the start of this competition, I did not see this being the final. What did you think was going to be the final? I thought fish and chips would be there. Oh. I thought Pavlova had a chance to be there. Pav got knocked out early, didn't it? But this is what this competition is showing us, is that modern New Zealand is not just fish and chips, lamb roast and a pav.

We're not that basic. We are. We love those things. No, we've moved on though. It's evolved. They're not our dish of the nation. It's evolved. Yeah, we've evolved to a sausage and a piece of bread.

Hey, kiwi onion dip was in there too. And hokey pokey ice cream. Voting at five. Okay, if you're checking now and you can't see it, it's all good. We're just delaying it a little bit. It will go live on the Bree and Clint Instagram page at five o'clock. Go and give the account a follow now,

and then it will come up straight in your feed next time you open the app, and you can vote on the official dish of the nation. I need to think about who I'm going to vote for. You really don't know? I don't know. It's kind of like the last election. Isn't it? Except more important.

Bree and Clint. I do love a comedy tattoo. I can appreciate the commitment to the gag. You know, like I am someone who, I will move mountains for a good comedy gag. I can't even commit to a normal tattoo. Like I can't be sure that I'm going to like a tattoo long enough to have it on my body forever. So then to add the need for the joke to be funny forever,

really, it's too much for me. I hope to be someone who one day gets a comedy tattoo. Yeah. I hope to be. Do you have any idea what it would be? I feel like you'd do well with a Kath and Kim quote. Yes, you know, I wouldn't go down that route. Right.

I'd go down, you know, more the route of, you know, the ones where you see like the golfer hitting the golf ball into somewhere but instead of the hole. Oh, into a hole. Yeah, but the hole being your belly button or, you know, something like that. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

But I came across this woman. She's a tattooist in Australia. Yeah. And she was asked, like, what's the craziest tattoo that you've done? And it turns out it was a comedy tattoo. And take a listen as to where it was. I was tattooing this girl and she was, like, as a joke, egging her boyfriend on, like, you should get a tattoo on your...

And we're all laughing about it. And by the time I'd finished her tattoos, it was like, no, I think I want it. I want a tattoo on my... I'm like, okay, let laughing about it. And by the time I'd finished her tattoos, it's like, no, I think I want it. I want a tattoo on my... I'm like, okay, let's do it. And so he got the outline of a little wave because he wanted to tell people, hey, do you want to ride the wave? And I thought that was too good not to have in my life.

So, yeah, I did it. So many questions. So good. What form is the... I did it. So many questions. So good. What form is the... Do you have to tattoo the... Has to be a hard form, I'd imagine. Surely it has to be in its largest form. Yeah.

Or else you can't... Otherwise it's going to look distorted when it's large. In the large form. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, it probably will also look distorted when it's not then. How long do tattoos take? I've never had one. Surely a wave with detail in it is going to take

a while. A couple of minutes. Oh, you think it's just an outline of the wave? Yeah. I was thinking like a full like blue shading. Nah, I think it literally would just be like you know, like a little tiny line outline. It'd take probably yeah, five minutes. God, you'd have to use protection if you were tattooing someone's downstairs,

wouldn't you? Yeah. It's a minefield. Have you ever heard of someone getting that tattooed, though? No. I've never heard of that before. Oh, no. Have you ever heard of someone getting their bum hole tattooed? Oh.

I have heard of that. Oh. Yeah. Why? Well, some people want to change the colour of their butthole. Can you stop saying that? Can you stop saying the B word? What do you want me to say?

Butthole. Just. What? It's a body part. They tattoo it a different colour. Yeah. Like orange or something. Well, I don't know if anyone, someone probably has got orange, but you know how some people

don't like the colour of it. No, I've never heard of that. You don't? if anyone, someone probably has got orange, but you know how some people don't like the colour of it. No, I've never heard of that. You don't? No. Oh, people sometimes get it bleached. Oh, actually, I have heard of that in a Kanye West song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and now people are getting it tattooed.

Someone just texted about the wave tattoo on the downstairs and they said, waves are used to swelling. So that works. They're like, hey, there's a big swell coming in. Do you want to ride the wave? That's pretty good. I like that. That's a good time.

I thought we could ask this afternoon, 0800DIALZM, do you have a comedy tattoo or do you know someone that has a comedy tattoo? Someone's already texted in and said, I have tattoos that I think are funny. I have Kanye, Osama, Vladimir Putin, and Pablo Escobar. What a strange lineup of people to have tattoos on your body. I'm picturing that person has a full arm sleeve. And they're like, in there. Of all those people.

That's hectic. Do you reckon that's true? Well, I've got no reason to doubt them. Yeah. 0800 dials to them or text 9696. We want to know what's your comedy tattoo. Any regrets? Any regrets?

Someone just said, I just turned on the radio. WTF are you guys talking about? It's because you keep saying b-hole over and over and over. Yeah, but I mean, how else was I going to say that? If we're talking about the bum hole. How else do you say it? Here's Tate McRae.

Talking about comedy tattoos. I'm a fan. I like it. Tattoos you got for a laugh. Yeah, if someone shows me a tattoo that they got for a laugh when we're out, I'm like, I'll rate it. Why not? The commitment to the gag is commendable.

I agree. So good. This person wants to be anonymous with their comedy tattoo. Hi, Anonymous. Hi, Anonymous. Hi. Why anonymous? Is your tattoo too recognisable?

Have too many people seen it? Oh, it's not mine, but if anyone was listening, they'd be able to put two and two together. Okay, fair enough. So this is quite a unique comedy tattoo is what you're saying? It's very questionable, I'd say that. Okay, hit us with it. I do know a guy who's got a sledgehammer tattooed downstairs.

Why a sledgehammer tattooed downstairs. Why a sledgehammer? Look, I don't even have the answers there. He said he originally got it for his girlfriend who unfortunately broke up with him like two months after. Wow. Was the nickname the sledgehammer or something, was it? I don't know. I don't want to know.

I've definitely heard. Oh, sorry. I was confused. Is the tattoo on his downstairs? Yeah. Wow. God, that would have taken some work. It's very literal, isn't it?

Yeah. Like. Yeah. Wait, sledgehammer or jackhammer? Sledgehammer. Sledgehammer. Yeah. Right.

Yeah, I feel like jackhammer makes more sense, but his choice. His choice. I don't know if anyone would want to be called the Jackhammer. I don't think that's a good thing. There's so many good texts on this coming in, but first let's go to Emily. Hi, Emily. Hi, Emily. Hi.

Tell us, is it you that has the comedy tattoo or someone you know? It's not me. I've got tattoos, but all of mine are like... Serious. ...sweet and flowery. Okay, cute. I'm the opposite. I know someone...

I've actually got two people, so I know someone that's got an eye candy. It was like a Halloween flash, and it's like a lolly, but the lolly is an eyeball. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, eye candy. Yeah, gotcha.

Eye candy. And what else? And then someone else has got, so it's a bobby pin, but you know that bobby from, I think it's King of the Hill? Yes, the sun on King of the Hill. Yes, so it is his face on the top of the bobby pin. That's pretty smart. So it's a bobby pin bobby. Yeah, so the head of the bobby pin is bobby from King of the Hill. I quite likeby pin. That's pretty smart. So it's a bobby pin bobby.

Yeah, so the head of the bobby pin is bobby from King of the Hutt. I quite like that one. That's quite good. Bobby's head. Yeah. We're looking at the tattoo right now. Yeah, we can see it. Wow.

It's a well done tattoo. It's quite funny. Yeah. Okay, thanks, Emily. We appreciate it. Someone texted her and said, I went to uni with a guy that has a squirrel with its hands up tattooed on his inner thigh.

Oh, so it's holding up his... His nuts. His nuts. Yeah. Squirrels after the nuts. Like in Ice Age. Someone said, I know a girl that has a tattoo of Jim Carrey

coming out of the rhino's butt from Ace Ventura. Oh, I rate that. I rate that tattoo. I wonder where she got it. Like where on her body does she have that tattooed? Where would you want it? I don't know. Anywhere would be great.

Someone else said, I like this one. My uncle has a tattoo. I think it's uncle. My uncle has a tattoo LOL. Well, technically it's only L and L on both butt cheeks. Oh, and the O's in the middle. That's good time. I have a cowboy hat that says Yeehaw tattooed on it.

But a guy I went to uni with has this. Oh, that's the squirrel one. Someone else said my co-worker went to a stag do and the stag ended up getting a tattoo of Kanye West kissing a fish from South Park. That is something he'll regret. Jack's here. Hi, Jack. Hi, Jack.

How's it going? Good, mate. Is it you that's got the comedy tattoo? Yeah, yep, yep, yep. Tell us, what is it, mate? So I've got two eyeballs tattooed just above my butt crack. Why? I'm a tradie and I'm always cracking it all day.

Oh, your butt crack comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it, Jack. It's always good to see what's, you know, see what's approaching from behind. I love it. Hey, Jack, I just have one question. What colour are the eyes?

They're red. Oh, not brown. I thought they'd be brown. Yeah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I've lost out on that one. Awkward if someone goes to check out your butt crack and they make eye contact with you, eh, Jack?

Jack? Yeah, yeah, you know. I mean, I'm, yeah, you know. What if someone's like, That's what it is. You're like, hey, my eyes are down there. Excuse me, mate. My eyes are down here.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know how it is. Hey, I like it, Jack. And do you ever get compliments? No, exactly right. I get a lot is. Hey, I like it, Jack. And do you ever get compliments? No, exactly right. I get a lot of laughs and that's about it. Yeah, no, I like it. My granddad told us a story about a guy he went to war with

who had a tattoo of a group of hunters on the side of his butt cheek heading towards the middle and then coming out of his butt crack was a big bushy fox tail. That's good. They're following the foxes. Yeah, that's a great tattoo. Someone else said, someone I know has 100% pure Angus beef on his right butt cheek. Like a brand.

Yeah, why not? I have Brad tattooed in my armpit. It's my Brad Pitt tattoo. I have seen this tattoo. A girl I met on a night out once had that tattoo and I think it might be the greatest comedy tattoo ever. Yeah, Brad Pitt. It's hilarious.

She goes, do you want to meet Brad Pitt? And she had all these girls in the bathroom. You're like, do you want to meet Brad Pitt? And I was like, yeah, well, who doesn't want to meet Brad Pitt? And the next minute she lifts up her arm and she goes, here's Brad Pitt. It's a good conversation. Someone else said, I've got your name tattooed on my butt

so I can say to people, do you know I've got your name tattooed on my butt? I like it. It's an oldie but a goodie. Someone else said, my uncle has a camel on his toe. I've seen that one. That's good, yeah. Which is a good time.

I have tooey beer jandals tattooed on my feet. I hope you got a lot of free beer for doing that. Yeah. I hope the Tui brewery came to the party and they're like, you know what, this guy gets us. This guy deserves free beer. Someone said, my mate's got Homer Simpson on his chest. And then something else he got on his nipple, which I can't say.

No, it says his nipples are Homer's something. I've never thought about what Homer's would look like. My friend has jam jars tattooed on her toes. Oh, toe jams.

Toe jam. Yeah. There's so many people that have comedy tattoos. Yeah. It's nice. Don't take it so seriously. Nothing worse than a really serious tattoo, eh? I agree.

Yeah. Yeah. So sentimental. This stag head represents masculinity and my journey through life. Cool. Yeah, this anchor represents our relationship. Cool, I've got a dolphin jumping over my b-hole. Call it flipper.

It's time to play Google Down. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you? It's time for Bree and Clint's Google Down. Punk. Google Down time where one of you can pick up 50 KFC chicken dollars all thanks to the winner of the game, which is either Clint, Claudia or Ella.

Who took it out last week? I don't want to talk about it. Clint. Ella. It was Clint for the second week in a row. Oh, that's right. It was too. No, he didn't win. Oh, that's right. It was too. No, he didn't win.

He did. He did. I didn't even remember that. I don't think so. I write everything down, guys. Ella's won once. Clint's won twice. Twice.

Claudia's won. Have you won none this year? Not yet. Wow. Have you not won a single game? Lost my mojo, guys. Wow. I've lost me mojo.

Don't worry. It comes back. Yeah. Where's your mojo? Ella doesn't get that reference because she's too young. What is it? I've lost my mojo, yeah. Orange sherbet.

Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Nah. I got nothing. One million dollars. What the fuck? Everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Keep going.

This coffee tastes a bit nutty. Harry Potter? No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. Not at all. In fact, no. No. Schmock and a pumpkin? Shall I Google it? Pipe and a crepe? This coffee tastes like shit.

What is this? It's Austin Powers, okay? Brie and Clint. Molly, Molly. Molly, Molly, Molly. I know that one. Brie and Clint. Let's play.

Google down. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you? It's time for Brie and Clint's Google. Google down. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you? It's time for Bree and Clint's Google Down. Punk. All righty, punks. Here's how it works. You're playing for people at home who've texted through your names.

Clint, Claudia and Ella are the contestants. I'll be asking the questions I've put into Google. If you are the first person to yell out the correct answer, then I will give you a point. First to three takes home the win and the glory. Are we ready? I am ready. I'm not sure, but I'll give it a go.

Present. Okay. That's good. Everyone's in the same room. Question number one. We begin. What year was Charlie XCX born?

1992. Can't split them. Couldn't separate them. I'll give you both a point. I'll take it. Because it was a dead hoot. Charlie. Charlie XCX. Oh, here's a reference. Charlie bit my finger. Cool, man. Thanks. Oh, here's a reference. Charlie bit my finger.

Cool, man. That's an old one too. Carry on. Ouch, Charlie. Can we cut that little snippet up? Because that was a highlight of today's show, I think. Question number two. Clip that.

Yeah, clip that one, Claude. Who invented the Toastie Maker? Charles Champion. Charles Champion. Charles V. Champion Senior. Correct. I'm going to give it to Ella. Charles Champion. We appreciate you.

Two to Ella, one to Claudia. What a thing to be known for. I'd love to be known for that. Yeah. If that's all I did with my life, gave that to the world, a Toastie Maker. So Google knows and history knows who invented the Toastie Maker. Will history remember the person who invented the Ninja Slushie? You know?

One day. No, probably not. Yeah. Probably not. And that is a shame. Question number three. If Claudia and Clint don't get this one, it's all over. Ella takes home the win.

And Ella downtrow. Could it be? Question number three. When did the first Austin Powers movie come out? 1997, May 2nd. Oh, she saves it. 1997. Claudia saves it. My goodness, Oh, she saves it. 1997. Claudia saves it.

My goodness, now I'm feeling it. 1997 is correct. Dang, I was older than I thought. Two to Claude, two to Ella. Everyone's still in. Question number four. Who wrote the Twilight books? Stephanie Meyer.

I knew someone was going to know it off the top of their heads and Claudia gets it done in style. Can't brag, this is embarrassing. Oh, that's a win. That's a win for Claudia. Wow. Yeah, nobody noticed.

They're so low key. Victoria, you backed Claude and you were right to do so because you've just won 50 KFC chicken dollars. Well done. I didn't doubt her at all. Oh, thank you for your support, Victoria.

Guys, my mojo's back. I took the week off. Yeah, baby. Yes, baby, yeah. Yeah, you got a mojo back. Talk to the hand, Scott. Because the face ain't listening. Stupid movie.

I want chugs with Fucking laser beams On their heads No Yeah I got that one That's good Did you just do an F word On the radio

No she said fricking Oh fricking With fucking laser beams On their heads Not what I heard Sorry Yeah You were looking at me like

I was like Wait a second Was that not one of them What has she done If you're in Christchurch, go and register your flat at ZM Online and you could win a Hyundai flat drop ahead of First Base Festival. It'll be delivered by Brie and I before First Base Festival, which is tomorrow. Yes.

Tomorrow at University of Canterbury With Hundy Big nights don't have to mean Bad mornings So get amongst See them online Don't let that detour you That we will be delivering it

We won't stay long And we won't make it The party uncool I want the Hundy But I don't really want To see Bree and Clint I don't want Them coming over to my flat

Yeah And then I have to entertain them They probably won't bring Their own drinks What if we bring the dish of the nation with us that's a great idea

that's a great idea Claudia it's going on your credit card but it is a good idea okay dish of the nation for everyone everyone

everyone at the flat what a great present 500 pies or sausages oh god how good 200

oh 2 jeez you're so stingy I heard 200 yeah me too I heard 200 pies or sausages? Oh, God, how good. 200. Oh, two. Jeez, you're so stingy. I heard 200. Yeah, me too. I heard 200. I found this quite interesting. IKEA have done a global sleep report. Oh, okay.

IKEA, the furniture brand. Call me ignorant. Yeah. But I've never been to an IKEA. Do IKEA sell beds? Yes. Right. Do they sell mattresses? I can't remember now. It's been a long time since I've been to an Ikea. Do you have to put the mattress together yourself? Yeah, I think it's a flat pack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, they've surveyed a lot of people, 55,000 people across 57 different markets, which is obviously where they have Icares, and they've come up with some different results about sleep behaviours across the world. Do you want to hear some?

Yeah. Apparently, 16% of people sleep in a cuddling position, while 42% of people rarely sleep alone. As in, if you sleep in a cuddling position, you and your partner actually cuddle while you sleep? Yeah. Oh, my God. I can't cuddle all night. In the very early stages of a relationship, you can?

Maybe. I reckon that is over after about nine months. But, I mean, it's hard not to if you've got a queen-size bed. Or even a double beard. I mean, it's impossible in a double beard. Yeah, yeah. Let's be real. It also says that two-thirds of people, so 66%, did you guys see that?

Yeah, well done. You've mastered fractions. That was just me off the top of the dome getting fractions. Apparently 66% of people willing to choose a good sleep over being social. I'm in the 66%. People would rather go, I'm going to go home and get a good sleep than I'm going to go out. At my current stage of life, I'll take a sleep.

What about you? 50-50. Yeah, right. Depends what it is. Depends how many good sleeps you've had in the lead up. That is true. That comes into it as well. It also says that 39% of people are sleeping back to back,

which I thought that would be a bit higher. I thought it would be pretty standard, back to back. Yeah. The part that I found quite interesting in this study, and I don't know if I agree with it, is it says that 5% of people are sharing a bed with a pet. Only 5%? Yeah. Let's poll the room here quickly because we've all got pets.

My cat sleeps in the bed. Oh, well, technically my dogs do spend time and sleep on the bed and then I put them to their own beds. Claudia? I encourage it, yes. Yeah, you're newly single. There's plenty of room in your bed too. Plenty of space.

If I was single, my dogs would 100% be in my bed. Ella? I would prefer the pits over Ryan. I think that's wrong. Yeah, I think it's 5%. Maybe I'm reading that wrong. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, that was the most interesting thing I got from that study.

I'm so excited for that IKEA to open in New Zealand. For the meatballs? Oh, I didn't even think about the meatballs. The $1 hot dogs? Yeah, right. It's in Mount Wellington, the Ikea, but I think they're going to ship nationwide. Yeah, right. They've been building that for a long time. I know.

You'd think Ikea would be able to put something together a bit quicker than... Well, apparently all the instructions are in Swedish. We just voted in the grand final of Dish of the Nation. I don't want to say what the percentages are yet because I think it's too early. I'm not going to say what I voted for either.

Yeah, sure. Because I don't want to influence... Well, not that people would care what I voted for. We've had 500 votes in three minutes, so... What's going on? I can't say. I don't want to say percentages yet. Okay.

I think it's too early. There is. I think people deserve the chance to vote blindly. Yes. Yes. We obviously have put up a third place battle before the actual final. So vote in that. And then, oh, God.

Oh, jeez. If you missed it, the grand final is meat pie versus sausage and bread. And it's live on the Brian Clenner Instagram story right now. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's talk about something else. I want to talk about this girl who is going viral at the moment

after she posted about lasting at a job for 10 minutes. Wow. And when I say she lasted at a job for 10 minutes, she literally went, it was technically a job trial to get the job, and she left after 10 minutes. So she left or they asked her to leave? She left. Okay.

Yeah. She went, this isn't for me. I'm out. I do appreciate someone who knows what they want. Yeah, I mean, at least she was... Do I think she could have stuck it out 15 minutes? Half an hour at least? A day. You've got to stick it out

a day to truly know. Yes, but we talked about listening to your gut last week and she has just listened to her gut and gone it's not for me. Or actually, do you need to stay a day? I feel like some people, if you know, you know. If you really know, you know. But I don't know that 10 minutes can show you

everything. Do you want to have a guess as to what the job was? Yep. Roadworks. I mean that. I could see that happening. What's a job where you get abused a lot? Parking ticket officer.

I'd hate that job. 10 minutes a bit now. I couldn't do it, eh? Yeah, tow truck driver. Oh, I'd hate that job too. Yeah. Very specific kind of person is a tow truck driver. Like you're ruining, your job is to ruin people's days.

Yeah, yeah. You're a day ruiner. In the name of the greater good. And they know it. They know that's their job. Yeah, yeah. And you have to- Yeah, no one is grateful for you and your job. No they know it. They know that's their job. Yeah, yeah. And you have to. Yeah, no one is grateful for you and your job.

No one likes you. It's so thankless. Like no one likes you. And I would just, I don't know how they do it. Honestly. Any of those? None of those. Okay.

The job where this girl spent 10 minutes. Working. That was the wrong button. Radio DJ. Was in childcare. Ah, okay. Yeah, she went, yep. I walked in there.

There was a bunch of kids screaming, babies pulling each other's hair, and I just went, I can't do this. God, what did she think childcare was? I think she was in a situation where she was desperate for a job and so she knew already that kids weren't

going to be her forte but she's like, I need this job and she went in and she went nuts. She's silly. That's like someone applying for a job at a petrol station and then getting there and going, ooh, it smells like petrol. Who hates the smell of petrol?

Well, you know. What person who applies to work at a childcare centre hates children? Yeah, it's a great point. Obviously, she was desperate. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Have you, what was the shortest job stint you ever had? I've never been let go from a job, so I don't know.

But I did have someone. You set me up for that. You knew I was going to say that. People have always just loved me and just wanted to keep me longer. You could have left a job, though, Clinton. No, I'm too stubborn. No. I did work at a radio station where a girl lasted a day.

She was driving the promo trucks, giving out chippies, and she came back after one day and she said, I don't want to do this job. Really? And we found out, we're like, okay, that's your decision. And we found out afterwards that she had pranged the truck and didn't want to own up to it. Oh, that sucks.

So she probably actually did want to be there. Oh, I never thought about it that way. Yeah. You just sparked a memory in my brain where I lasted for a day in a job. Did you? Yeah. I was desperate for a job. It was maybe just before I finished uni.

And I don't know how it came about, but I think it was on, like, one of those job finder pages and I don't know how it came about but I think it was on like one of those job finder pages and I signed up for this job and I totally misread what the job was yeah and I was in full work attire and heels get to this place and it's one of those places where you go out door knocking oh and you're trying to get people to sign up to some crap. Like a power plant or something. Oh, I don't even know what it was. And I was in full work attire and heels.

Working the streets and heels. Working the streets and I worked those streets hard and I was like, nah. Out of there after a day. I hated it. Yeah, one day I lasted. We want to know how long you lasted at the new job. Was it less than a day?

Yeah, was it an hour? What was the job and why did you last such a short amount of time? Was it your call or was it their call? Did they get to lunchtime and they're like, hey... This isn't for you. It's not us, it's you. Yeah. Yeah.

We're going to let you go. Oh, $800 at MWU, you can text it in to 9696. How long did you last? How little amount of time did you last at the new job? Was it very short and sweet? Free and Clint. How long did you last at the job? Was it a very, very short stint?

And why? We talked before about a lady who quit her early childhood teaching job after 10 minutes. And I was like, that's wild. Someone texted and they said, as an early childhood teacher, that is the norm. Yeah, I can only imagine what it would be like to be in childcare and walk in and just how loud it would be. It takes a special person.

Oh, it takes some special people who are very good at what they do. With a special immune system as well. Mike's caught up. G'day, Mike. Hi, Mike. Good afternoon, team. How are we doing? We're good.

Thank you, mate. Was it you that didn't last very long in a job? Yes, that right. So I usually work in some nice, easy jobs, front of house sort of thing, and I thought I'd take on a new construction career. Okay, yeah. All right, so I left Mount Maunganui, went down to Queenstown.

Cousin organised me a job, and it was working in laying in the roads. So I spent the whole day working in construction, lugging around concrete, and I thought, yeah, this is going to be the job for me. Great pay. Right. Very physical work. The alarm went off at five o'clock the next morning and unfortunately I couldn't move.

Oh no, your body said no. Body said no. Brain was saying yes, body said no, thank you. Those manual labour jobs, man. For us soft job people, we don't actually understand truly what it takes, right, Mike? Absolutely. Absolutely.

I said to the partner, I said, turn that alarm clock off and I'm not going back. And book me a flight back to the Mount. No, I unfortunately still stayed in Queensland

but I couldn't go down the main street for about six months because I was too embarrassed to see the people that I was working with. Don't worry, I'm sure there's heaps. They just forget about it

after a while. Emily, what's the job and how long did you last? So it was working for a skin care company. I signed the contract, but technically got fired before I even started. Why? So we did, the job was like

doing facials in a store, so with their product, like for free to, you know, show people. That was fine. I just finished my study to become a beauty therapist. They were like, oh, this is good, and they were asking me all these questions, like at the training, and I was giving answers, answers that I believed were correct. Well, I found out at the end of the interview, they're like, we just don't think you're knowledgeable enough to have this job. No.

And you were qualified. Oh, they can stick that job up their bum. I've got many qualifications. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One also being early childhood. So don't blame her. It's either for you or not for you. Yes.

It is for me. But yeah, I was literally, I just finished my year of training to become a beauty therapist. for you. Yes. It is for me. But yeah, I was literally, I just finished my year of training to become a beauty therapist. Idiots. Wow. I don't know if anyone's going to be able to beat that. Someone said,

I worked in a dairy for two days and I hated it. I couldn't do the math for the pick and mix. Oh, that would be me. I totally get that. I couldn't do the math for the pick and mix in my head and count lilies at the same time. And scooping ice cream is way harder

than it looks. I feel that person's pain. I get it. I get why you left. I worked at a fish and chip shop. Yeah. And they had me on... Are you counting the chips? No. They had me on the register. I was on the register for two days and then they went, I think you need to be

out the back wrapping the fish and chips. Fish and chip stores are hard. They're hot, they're sweaty, they're greasy. This one was so busy too. It was so overwhelming. I started at a moving company. The first job was moving a geological department. Rocks, rocks, rocks.

I lasted three hours and got the bus home. Wow. This job does not rock. I love this text too. They said, I worked at a major fast food chain and after three days I had to leave because a crackhead went berserk and tried to jump into the deep fries. They said, I snuck out the back, jumped on my moped and left without saying a word. He really was fried. Someone said, dish hand.

After the two hour trial, I got the job. And then I said, no. Fair. Dish Hand's a tough job. It is a tough job. Someone else said, I worked at a preschool and they asked me to change nappies and a kid peed on me, so I quit. That is the job.

I don't get peed on, so I can't comment. Yeah, you can't comment. You're right, I can't comment. Unless you've been peed on, so I can't comment. Yeah, you can't comment. You're right, I can't comment. Unless you've been peed on by someone else's child as a part of your job. How many other jobs do other people pee on you? Nurse? Nurse, yeah. Oh, a few, actually.

Someone else said, I work in pharmacy. We had a staff member leave for lunch on her first day, and she never came back. Good. I left the job after two days. It was one of those jobs signing people up to who knows what at the mall. I told them I was going to move my car. I just didn't tell them I was moving it up my driveway.

That's so good. Someone else said, I lasted a day picking mushrooms as a student. All the other pickers were young men. And the owner said I was too distracting to them. Cool, man. I'd be leaving too. Oh, this one's so good. They said one week I lasted.

It was a job where we had to cold call people asking for donations to charities for the Palmerston North City Council. People used to just hang up on you. Yeah, I can see why. Layla, what was the job and how long did you last? Um, hey, so when I was in high school, I packed up like a weekend job working at a cafe. Yeah. But the cafe was also attached to like a

conference centre and a hotel. Yeah. Okay. So I kind of got told at the start if people called in sick, I would have to kind of jump in and be an all-rounder. Okay. So this day I turned up for my cafe shift and I get told all the housekeepers have called in sick so we need you to clean the hotel rooms.

And I'm like, okay, yeah, it can't be that hard. All good. Had you been trained though? No. Yeah, okay. I got given like a cleaning trolley and got told to go on my way. So I opened the first room and I just get hit with the smell of vomit.

Oh. And then there's red wine. Oh. Oh, you're kidding. I hadn't even walked into the room yet and I knew what I was, like, getting myself into. I walk in and there's vomit in every corner of this room, in the bath, in the sink, in the shower, on the couch, on the bed. So it turns out the lady had done a runner early in the morning because she'd gone to a winery the day before,

put a bit too much of the wine, come back to the room, chucked up everywhere, which is embarrassing. And then boosted, yeah. Yeah. But, like, I was kind of all right with it because in the back of my head I was like, she's going to get charged a cleaning fee

and I'm going to get a bonus. Turns out I did not get any of the $250 cleaning fee that she got charged. Who gets it then? The bonus. Oh. And now I did not get any of the $250 cleaning fee that she got charged. Who gets it then? The hotel. Yep. My big boss got it. But the big boss didn't do squat.

So you quit. Yeah. Oh. You know what, Layla? Fair enough. Fair enough. Screw the patriarchy. You've got to back yourself, eh?

Yeah. You've got to back yourself. Nah. You're better than that. Time for a birthday banger. You've got to back yourself, eh? Yeah. You've got to back yourself. Nah, you're better than that. Time for a birthday banger. Let's do it, peeps. Number one songs when you turn 16.

This is the place where you get them done. Angel is going first. Kia ora, Angel. Hi, Angel. Kia ora. Hi. How's your day been? Oh, pretty good.

How's yours been? It's been lovely. Thank you, Angel. Tense, to be honest, Angel. I'm very invested been? Oh, pretty good. How's yours been? It's been lovely. Thank you, Angel. Tense, to be honest, Angel. I'm very invested in Dish of the Nation. It is pretty tense. Oh, I know, right? Me too. I'm sad the cheese roll's gone.

Oh, I know. It was an early victim. It is a sad time. Kim, just stick with you. Meat pie, this is the grand final. Meat pie or sausage and bread? Sausage and bread. It's got to be.

Yeah. Oh, well, controversial. Meat pie's currently winning. So you've got to go vote, Angel. You've got to be. Oh, well, controversial. Meat Pie's currently winning. So you've got to go vote, Angel. You've got to go vote. I will. Okay. Well, do your birthday banger first.

What is your birthday? The 15th of May, 2001. Right. That means you were 16 in the year 2017. And on that day, this was number one. Sit down. Liam. Oh, it's very timely.

The man of the moment. Yeah, this isn't it. Kendrick and Humble. Do you like it, Angel? Yeah, it's a banger. I listen to that a lot. Did you like the Super Bowl halftime show? Yeah, it was good, of course.

Yeah. Okay, wait there. We're going to do a birthday banger for Holly. Kia ora, Holly. Hi, Holly. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hello. Yeah. Okay, wait there. We're going to do a birthday banger for Holly. Kia ora, Holly. Hi, Holly. Hi. Hi. Hello.

Hi. Who have you got in the background, Holly? Oh, I'm here. Yeah, we're here. Are you there? Hello. Or have you got us on the radio? Radio.

Yeah, she does. There we go. There you are, Holly. You can listen back on the podcast after we chat, okay? What was your birthday, mate? My birthday is the 21st of February 2004. All right, Holly. That means you were 16 in the year 2020, the year of COVID.

And here's your birthday banger. You are. It's your perfect. You don't need no filter. Go just make them drop dead. You're a killer. Such a good Justin Bieber song. Yeah.

This was a massive song from JB. You a fan, Holly? Yes, I like Justin Bieber. Yeah. Yeah, me too. It's a goodie. Okay, wait there. One more birthday banger for Jess.

Hi, Jess. Hi, Jess. Hi. What have you been up to today, Jess? Um, teaching. Teaching little five and six-year-olds. You sound like you've had a day. Yeah, I was laughing at that.

Early childhood. The lady that caught up. Yeah, 10 minutes. Yeah, because I've just gone from early childhood to primary. Oh, really? What's harder? What's harder, early childhood or five and six-year-olds? Oh, well, at least in early childhood,

you've got like four of you to the same amount. It's just you versus 20 kids, eh, Jess? You know, yeah. I just pictured Jess just nodding her head as we're talking. I'd be like, hell yeah, it's tough. I picture her with a shield and a sword fighting them off. You're doing the Lord's work. Hey, Jess, what is your birthday?

27th of Feb, 1984. Right, that means you were 16 in the year 2000. And on that day, this was number one. What a girl wants, what a girl needs. Whatever makes me happy sets you free. And I'm thanking you. Christina. Original Christina.

The original OG. What do you reckon? First album Christina Yeah Oh you know It doesn't bring back Memories of that year But Okay

It was a banger Yeah absolutely I'm pretty sure this song Won her a Grammy This is off the Jenny in a Bottle album Isn't it? Yes

Yeah I'm pretty sure she won Her first Grammy with that I love it It's a great throwback But it's all about Kend Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she won her first Grammy with that. I love it. It's a great throwback, but it's all about Kendrick this week for me, so I'm voting for Humble.

Yeah, go on. Really? Yeah, go on. There we go. Angel's dropped off, but if you're listening, Angel, this is for you. Birthday banger from 2017.

Kendrick Lamar and Humble on ZM, Brie and Clint. Yeah, yeah. I remember syrup sandwiches and grandma now with... 2017, Kendrick Lamar and Humble on ZM, Brie and Clint. He is the most talked about artist on the planet right now. That's Kendrick Lamar and Humble. It's also the winner of Birthday Banger today from the year 2017. What are the odds that that would come up in today's Birthday Banger? Yeah, so good.

Had to play it. Valentine's Day is two days away. Oh, yeah. Have you done anything? Yeah, sort of, yeah. Oh, I thought you didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. No, I wanted to do something because we're not going to be here. We're going to be in Christchurch. Oh, yeah, we are too.

So I just wanted something. I wanted to do something. Yeah. What did you do? Oh, they're not listening, eh? Nah. What time is it? No, they're not going to be here. We're going to be in Christchurch. Oh, yeah, we are too. So I just wanted something. I wanted to do something. Yeah. What did you do? Oh, they're not listening, eh? Nah. What time is it? No, they're not listening.

Nah. I've just got a single rose being delivered for each of my girls on Valentine's Day. Oh. And a note from Dad. Oh, so cute. $45. Long stem? Yeah.

$45? $45? $45 for three single roses For the free delivery That was That's with free delivery Yeah The free delivery Should also come with

A cake Muffins And a cooked dinner I know I know But I'd literally Have to do nothing I walked in

Said hey Can you send three roses To this address With this note And I don't have to do anything She's like yep Tap your FBOS card Done

I'll go out And pick you some flowers And drop it around to your house myself. Oh, now you tell me. I'll bloody do that for $45. Somehow it wouldn't be as romantic if it was delivered by you. Why not? Hey, I got your flowers from your dad.

But also you'll be in Christchurch with me. Yeah, that's true. Next year. It's on the table. Anyway, if you're not doing that and maybe you're not even in a relationship, but you've been thinking I might send my ex something. I've got just the thing. Okay. Do people do that? Do they send something to their ex on Valentine's Day? No, but this is funny. So maybe it will entice some people to do it. There's a

zoo in the US in Memphis. It's the Memphis Zoo located in Tennessee. And they are currently taking donations where you can donate $10 and you can send one of two videos. Okay. So to whoever you want. Sure. So the first option is a video of a cute red panda munching on some grapes.

Yeah. Or the second video is of their resident elephant there at the Memphis Zoo taking a dump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Memphis Zoo are saying this is a great thing. It's either dating or dumping. Oh, okay. So you either send the cute video to your partner.

Could you hypothetically dump someone on Valentine's Day with the elephant doing a dump video? A hundred percent you could. Yeah. It's a great idea. You just send them the video of the elephant taking a dump and you just read between the lines. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a great idea. It's quite cute. It's quite a good idea from the zoo. I've seen ones before where they would name a dung beetle or a cockroach after your ex and they would actually write your ex's name on it and then they'd let them go free into a pen where other animals ate the dung beetles and cockroaches. That was pretty good. What else could you do for

your ex on Valentine's Day? You know what we could do for people? Flaming bag of dog turd on the doorstep? No, we did that last year. Right, yeah, yeah. We could offer the service of we will call your ex and play them all our Friday Okies back to back on Valentine's Day on Friday. We will call your ex and we will sing live for them.

Even better. The worst Valentine's Day gift ever. Anyway, happy Valentine's to everybody. Yes, make sure you've got it organised before Friday. Yeah, and happy Valentine's to the exes too. Apparently that's a thing now too. They always miss out. That's us.

We are out of here. We are very lucky to be going and watching the first episode of season three of The White Lotus. I'm currently just finished actually, now that I remember, just finished Season 1, like re-watching it. Is it going on Neon tomorrow, Episode 1? It must be, right? It must debut on Neon tomorrow.

Yeah, I think it's tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, that's not it. I was trying to play that. Oh, can you play the theme music? Yeah, I'm trying to. Because the theme music. Here we go. Season one

was good, but they really ramped up the music in season two. We're watching episode one of season three in a movie theatre tonight, and I'm wondering if they do it like this, if the whole movie theatre is just going to be like... You're right, it's one of the best bits.

So we'll report back and let you know what season three of White Lattice is like on the show tomorrow. We'll be live from Christchurch. We're going down for O-Week at University of Canterbury. It's going to be a good time. And we will find out who will be the representative dish of the nation, of the entire country tomorrow. The final is live now on the Brian Clint Instagram story. Go and vote. It's going to be sausage and bread or the humble country tomorrow. The final is live now on the Bray and Clint Instagram story.

Go and vote. It's going to be sausage and bread or the humble meat pie. It's either or. Go have your say, and we will let you know who takes it out tomorrow. See you guys. Woo!