ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 12th July 2021

Episode Date: July 11, 2021

Our internet historyVaccination chatHow did you find out about the proposal?WhatsApp chatbotBirthday Banger!Brees Uber storySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is this the one where he goes Guess who's back Back again Is that this one? Yeah It's this one It is this one, eh? It's hard to know

Hi everybody, it's us We're the ones who's back That's the Back again That's the gag I was going for Is this it? Guess who's back Yeah

Back again It's us Tell a friend Guess who's back Guess who's back Guess who's back Guess who's back Guess who's back

Guess who's back Guess who's back Wow, wow, wow, wow Producer's back too I am, Producer Ben and I say you're back Hi guys Where was the chorus? What you do is you go Guess who's back Back again And then you rhyme Producer Ben and I say you're back. Hi, guys. Where was the chorus? What you do is you go, guess who's back?

Back again. And then you rhyme Producer Ben with again. Producer Ben. Oh, I get it. How bad? Yeah. Yeah, that's very good. Well, as you can see from Holiday, our gags are fresh and sharp.

Let us explain our shit jokes and deliriousness because we actually are filling in for Fletcher and Megan, our breakfast show. So we have all been up since 4am? 4am. My alarm was 10 past 4. You? 4am. Yeah. Ben? Yeah, exactly 4.10 as well. Yeah. Anastasia? 4.15. 4.15. Oh, you

pushed it out. Guys, I literally live six minutes away. Central City living. See, I got here too early. I need to push my alarm out a little bit. I got here too early too, but then I spent ten minutes driving around the car park trying to find the car park. It's a honeycomb car park. Did you go into the first car park?

Yep. Did you see Hosking's car? I know. Pretty nice. I didn't see that. Sheesh. Didn't see it. Not a new Audi though.

No, it's like four new Audis. Doesn't have Oh I got nothing That's how tired I am Turns out Not very funny in the morning That was a flaccid end to that joke I was going to say

I can tell how big each of your penis sizes Are from your cars She's back baby She's back, baby. She's back. And let me just say. Mine's bigger. Just. Yeah.

Because you got a station wagon. Yeah. Got it. By the way, Hosking, he's the big dog. He's the biggest breakfast announcer in the country. For our Aussie listeners, he's like the Alan. Degenerous. Yeah. No, I was going to say. What's theie listeners, he's like the Alan DeGeneres. Yeah.

I was going to say, what's the, oh God. The Aussie radio announcer. You need to start drinking coffee, man. Is he on the AM, that guy? There's a bit in the podcast too where I start slurring my words a bit today. And that's because we couldn't get coffee until 7.45 this morning. So he drank Jager and I said not appropriate.

I had Sambuca. Is that Alan Jones? Sambuca. No, it's licorice. Alan Jones? Alan Jones. He's like the Alan Jones. He's not that bad, though.

He's a rugby guy, though. No, he's like a younger. Less racist. Less racist. Less misogynistic. Oh, he's a right wing commentator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Alan Jones is like, everyone knows who that is. Like big time talker. Got it, got it, got it. Same misogynistic. Oh, he's a right-wing commentator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Alan Jones is like, everyone knows who that is.

Like, big time talker. Got it, got it, got it. Same calibre. Yeah. Yeah, right. Good holiday, everybody. We don't talk about our holidays on the show. Did everybody have a good holiday?

I had a good holiday. I had a fantastic holiday. Producer Anastasia and I hung out for a bit of it. Yeah, it was awesome. It was the highlight of my holiday. Me too. I had so much fun. Anastasia got super liddy mctitty.

Yeah, you know when you're slowly drinking drinks and they're just tasting nice and you just don't notice it because it's over a long period of time. The pals creep up on you, eh? Was it vodka pals you were drinking? I find vodka creeps up from behind you and then it just goes bam. This Airbnb we stayed at had a hot tub in the backyard. That was one of the

ones where you had to make the fire and it was heated. Oh, there's a big chair there by the way. Was that a result of the football? No. Did you hear that come through the wall? Penalty shootout. Oh, I want to watch that! Should we do a live reaction? I want to watch it! We can. Let's hurry this shit up then.

Anyway, so we're basting and you have to make the fire and it heats the hot tub and whatever. And my first That looks delightful. Is it a massive amount of admin? Oh, so much admin. Just get an electric one. Anyway, Anastasia enjoyed it a bit too much. My memory of Anastasia is

she's sitting in the hot tub and she's got both of her arms like this and she'd have two drinks and she was double fisting her drinks and then she'd finish one and then she'd squeeze it and throw it over her shoulder and start on the next one. Oh my goodness. Crunch it on her forehead. The issue was, was that you guys were away skiing

and because it takes so freaking long to eat that thing up, I came home around two. People were cheering. Is the penalty shootout happening right now? A few steps back. Adelaide just missed one. Anyway, how many have they shot?

One. Oh, okay. Oh my God, look at the goalkeeper. I know. Oh, what a watch.

What a watch. He goes, you've got to guess why a pig should do that. Should we go and watch it? Yeah, let's go watch it. We love Anastasia.

Catch up on the hot tub story soon. Thanks, babes. Enjoy the podcast, everybody. We'll see you guys back tomorrow. Bye. Bye.

Who approved this terrible idea? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Is this what you look like at this time of the morning? This is my, hey, this is my rustic bed look. Shout out to your wife, Lucy. Hey, kia ora, everybody. We're Bree and Clint.

We usually do the afternoons here on ZM, but for the next two weeks, a.k.a. school holidays, you get us in the mornings. Yeah, we're the fill-in show for the backup show. Yeah, we're the backup for when they just play highlights. Yeah. We're the warm-up for the warm-up show. Yeah, so all these new things. I mean, if you're up at this time, this is normal for you. Not for us. Not for us. No. We're puffy and cold. Yeah, it is so cold at this time of the morning.

I used to do breakfast radio a long time ago. Same. And I realise now why I don't want to go back. Nah, it's good. I actually quite like, once I'm up, I'm fine. If you're out there milking a cow at the moment and you're listening to us in our nice, warm

studio, complain about how hard it is to start at 6am. We're going to shut up. Get ready for two weeks of that. No, we're not shutting up. No, I'm shutting up. This is front of mind for me. This is the only thing that I'm thinking about. My dad's one of those people. If he catches me talking about this he's not gonna be impressed. Good to be here.

We're gonna have a bit of fun over the next couple of weeks and then Fletch, Juan and Megan will be back after that. We play a game on our show to start called Tradie vs Lady. It's just a daily quiz and we we're going to bring that to breakfast for the next two weeks as well. Your chance to win $50 cash to start the show. That's right.

You can be a lady or a tradie. Lady tradies, it's just a fun name, to be honest. It just rhymes. It just rhymes. You can be anyone, and you can give us a call and try and win $50 right now. All you have to do to play this game is be awake right now. And the phone lines are clear.

If you want to play, we're going to do a daily quiz-type questionnaire thingy straight after this. Get three correct, you win $50 cash. Call now, 0800DIALZM, and $50 could be coming your way. We'll play it straight after. New Ed Sheeran, this is Bad Habits on ZM. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint.

Bree and Clint. Tradies versus ladies. Right, the tradies versus the ladies. 50 bucks up for grabs. All you need to do is beat out your opponent in a trivia-based quiz. Let's meet our lady first. This morning, she's 27.

She's from Tamaki Makoto, Auckland, and she's good at hangman. Wow. Welcome to the show, Jess. There's a throwback, Jess. Hello. I haven't had a game of a hangman

in like 15 years. Me either. I had to play last night with my niece. Yeah, right. Okay. You'll be taking on our tradie today.

He's 25. He's from Wellington and he was born with cranial stenosis. Am I saying that right? Welcome to the show, Oliver. G'day, Ollie. What's cranial stenosis? Where your

skull, like a soft baby skull, forms together too soon. Yeah. Oh! I had to wear a little helmet. Mum says I'm still pretty. Did they have to crack your skull a bit so your brain could grow? helmet. Mum says I'm still pretty. Did they have to crack your, sorry to be graphic, did they have to crack your skull a bit so your brain could grow? Nah, they had to like put me in a specially shaped helmet

so it grew normally. One of my friends, she had a baby a couple of years ago and yeah, she's had to wear a helmet for the first couple of years of her life. I mean, still very cute. I was going to say, I agree with your mum, Oliver, you sound very pretty. Here we go. Oliver, your buzzer is tradie. Jess, your buzzer is lady. The first person to get three correct answers wins.

You need to buzz in with your name. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one. Richard Branson has flown to space this morning in his Virgin Rocket. Yes, that's the world we're living in. A man named Dick has gone to space in a Virgin Rocket. Who was the first person to walk on the moon?

Ladies. Yes, Jess, you're in first. Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong is correct. Not to be confused with Lance Armstrong, which I have done before. One to the ladies. Question number two.

Sneak peeks at the reboot of an iconic 90s show starring Sarah Jessica Parker came out over the weekend. What's that show called? Lady? Oliver in Just. I don't know how I can think of that she was in as Sex and the City.

You got it. Sex and the City with a reboot. You nailed it, Oliver. Nice work. One apiece. Question number three City. With a reboot. You nailed it, Oliver. Nice work. One apiece. Question number three. There's a big soccer game on this morning between England and Italy.

Is actress Keira Knightley from Bend It Like Beckham and Love Actually English or Italian? Brady. Yes, Oliver. Oh, we've got a 50-50. Yes. Italian. No, she's English. But, I mean, you went for it and we appreciate that.

Question number four, still one apiece. We're filling in for Fletch, Vaughan and Megan for the next two weeks on The Breakfast Show. What are our names? Trady. Yes, Oliver. Brian Clinton. Nice work.

You got two. It was 50-50 between that and Jono and Ben, and you got it. Two to the tradies, one to the ladies. You can win the game here, Oliver. Question number five. Can you tell me who sings this song? Lady. Yes, Jess.

Andre 4000. You know, I would have given that to you on a technicality If you had just got the number correct Andre 3000 And not actually the name of Technically The group Yeah

Oliver Oh we've just given it away It was Oliver's free guess We can't win on that one We'll have to go to another tiebreaker Alright still two to the tradies One to the ladies Question number six

A popular American supernatural fantasy horror drama We'll have to go to another tiebreaker. All right, still two to the tradies, one to the ladies. Question number six. A popular American supernatural fantasy horror drama, yep, that's how they describe it, television series is known as The What Diaries. Tradie. Yes, Oliver, for the win. Vampire. You've done it, Oliver.

50 bucks coming your way. Very nicely done. You're the inaugural Breakfast Tradiverse Lady Champion. Congratulations. That makes up for getting a call to come into work at four in the morning. There you go. There you go. Appreciate it, Ollie. Bree and Clint.

ZM, Bree and Clint. Filling in for Fletch, Vaughan and Megan for the next two weeks. That's Harry Styles and Golden. They need an award, those guys, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan for the next two weeks. That's Harry Styles and Golden. They need an award, those guys, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. They've got a few. True. They've got actually a lot and they deserve them. What were you saying they need an award for?

For just being here. Oh, right. At this time, all the time. Weirdly, you don't get an award just for turning up. That's why we haven't won any awards. No, people do. It's called a participation award. Yeah, right. And people get them all the time. Weirdly, you don't get an award just for turning up. That's why we haven't won any awards. No, people do. It's called a participation award. Yeah, right. And people get them all the time. Well, for the next two weeks, we're here to participate, everybody. Yeah, it'll be good. Look, I found this thing online because

I was scrolling through TikTok for hours and I came across this guy on TikTok. He's a doctor. He's a legit doctor. He's an aesthetic surgeon. Where he technically performs cosmetic surgeries on particular areas of men.

I understand what you're saying. Is that a thing, by the way? It must be, right, if he does it. I'm asking for a friend. Don't pretend like you must be, right? If he does it. Well, he's made a whole... I'm asking for a friend. Don't pretend like you don't know. You've Googled it.

When you're talking about aesthetic enhancements... Have you ever Googled it? No, I haven't. No. Because I don't understand how it would work. Why are you winking at me? I don't understand how... Do you reckon anyone goes in there for an aesthetic enhancement on that thing?

Yeah. And it's not for size? They just want it beautified a bit. What do you mean? They're like, can you... Straight or... Straighter or... What else?

I mean, you know what else? You might want it darker. You might want it lighter. You might want it less baggy. You might... Yeah, he might perform... Because there is a lot of people that get adult circumcisions. Yes.

That is a thing. For medical and fashion reasons. Yeah, for different reasons. I guess if you could have a vaginal rejuvenation you should be able to have a penal rejuvenation. My favourite thing about this guy is what he calls himself

because he's the doctor that does and talks about all that kind of stuff. Dr. Dick. No, he's called Dick Doc on TikTok. Dick Doc on TikTok. Dick Doc on TikTok. It's brilliant. Anyway, he has come out in his latest video and he's talking about what is technically the average size

for that piece of equipment. Oh, careful, careful. This is powerful information that you hold right now. I know. Because what would you think is the average? Like, you know, overall, just think about all. I'd just like to defer to producer Ben in this situation. Ben, I need some more male support in here.

Because this will tell us a lot about you guys. Inches or centimetres? Metric or imperial? Let's go inches. I don't work in inches. Yeah Inches or centimetres? Metric or imperial? Let's go inches. I don't work in inches. Yeah. Okay, centimetres then. I don't have a ruler.

Yeah. Why are you guys dancing around this question? I reckon average. Like the average across the board, just, you know. 13 centimetres? Which is about five and a bit. Is it? I'm pretty sure.

Okay. That sounds right. Yeah, that sounds fair. I don't, yeah. Why are you acting like you guys have no qualifications in this topic? Oh, no. We've all stolen mum's sewing tape measure as a child and taken it away for a quick measure. You've both played rugby. Long time ago. Oh, no. We've all stolen mum's sewing tape measure as a child and taken it away for a quick measure up.

You've both played rugby. Yeah, a long time ago. Yeah, yeah. Or a piece of string at night time. That's a good one, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then put that on a ruler in the morning. Do you guys, because you've both played rugby at some point,

or you've played football, Ben. Like, in the change rooms, do you guys all get naked in the change rooms? No. Is that the change rooms? No Is that not a thing? Nah it's undie showers Yeah Wait

You guys are having Undie showers? Yeah Really? I can only speak From my experience But the nude shower Is like a generation

Above us And when I was playing When I was like Early 20s You'd have some Early 30s guys Come and play A couple games for you

And you knew They were from A different generation because they walk butt naked into the shower. Straight in. Dick forward. They're just like, hey, fellas, great game. We don't really do that, man.

I thought that we did that as women and turns out the team that I was playing in, this soccer team. Undie showers? No. People don't even really shower that often. Oh. They just kind of go home sweaty or whatever. Anyway.

Put us out of our misery. We need to know the average size of the male genitalia. Let's take a listen at Dick Talk on TikTok talking about the average size of a male member. Dr. Ed Zimmerman, the Dick Talk on TikTok, answering another question. What's the average size of a pickle? Well, according to research the average size is about 4.7 to 5.1 inches around and about five inches long

when he's erect obviously grower versus shower varies a little bit but those are the numbers this is the tiktok on tiktok wishing you good numbers and cheers. Can you give us that length conversion to centimetres? Yeah, I can give it. I've also done a comparison to household items if you want. So that's about 12.7 centimetres. Also an iPhone 7. If you're still rocking the iPhone 7, you can use that as a measurement.

Two adult thumbs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that way Not side by side Hey Ben How good is it being average bro? It's good It feels pretty good

It feels real good Yeah It feels good Does it feel good for you? No wait Sorry don't What? Brian Clint here 616

I'm just walking down Brian Clint I mean it was a great day If you loved football And you were from England. Goal! This goes on for a while. How long does this go on for? I actually didn't check it.

Do you reckon you could match it? No, not at this stage. You just carry on. That guy's obviously a swimmer. Great lungs. Because obviously... Oh, oh, oh. There it is.

Yeah, nice work. That's actually real commentating audio from the game where the English have gone through to the final and they will be playing Italy today. This morning? This morning. Seven o'clock, Ben? Is that when that game happens?

Can we put that on the TV in here? I can tell you. Don't worry, I can tell you what happens, man. Oh, I know you hate soccer. You hate football. I'll tell you what happens. But you can't appreciate it because you were never any good at the sport

and that's why you can't appreciate the game. Can I just have a go at telling you what happened? Me and Producer Ben are the only ones in this team that can talk about football because we played the beautiful game. Oh, and please do. We'd love to hear you guys talk about football. No, I want to talk about. It's going to be one all after 90 minutes

and then it's going to be a penalty shootout. All right, all right. I want to talk about. That's every soccer game ever. Sorry, carry on. This game that happened last week, actually, and it was the England versus Denmark match on July 7th where it was a big game, like huge.

Like everyone in England was tuning in for that. Yeah. It's a big deal. There's this TikTok that's going viral of this guy who, you know, he was tuning in for the match. He, he sat down, he was eating his meal. He was drinking beers. He was really, really into the game.

Yeah. Um, but it's when his daughter came home and realized that he'd gotten the wrong feed. So, you know, he was trying to find a link online to watch the game. Oh. Because he didn't want to pay for it. Right. And unfortunately, he'd been watching a FIFA simulation for 45 minutes. You're kidding.

Anyway, take a listen. Like a video game. Take a listen to where the daughter tells the dad that he's been watching cartoons play for 45 minutes. It's not real. They're cartoons. It's FIFA. It's FIFA.

No, it's FIFA. Video game one. Look at them clothes. Look at clothes. Don't those look fake to you? I don't know. You've been watching this this whole time? Yeah, you eat it. Look at the clothes. Don't those look fake to you? I don't know. I didn't know. Is this what's happening?

You've been watching this this whole time? Are video games that good now? Poor guy. She should have left them. She should have just let him enjoy his video game and then... It was a really close match as well. I was going to say. Super close. Would have come out the same.

One all draw, penalty shootout at the end. Oh, shut up. Brian Clint from iHeartRadio. This is The Latest. Aussie actor Hugh Jackman, he's a man of many talents and he's made a very interesting observation about certain lyrics in a Whitney Houston song. I Will Always Love You.

Yep. He believes that certain lyrics aren't exactly what you think they've been and he thinks they're different. Here he is here talking about it. Listen to the very last lyric of I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. She actually says Hugh. I promise you.

The very last. It's Hugh. Hugh, that's a K. I promise you. The very last, it's Hugh. Hugh, that's okay. She loves you all. But this is it. Who do you love? Hugh. I feel like

it's so hard to unhear that. Yeah, you're right. He's got to done it. He's ruined that song forever panel. Yeah, you're right. He's gone and done it. He's ruined that song forever now. You have ruined one of my favourite all-time songs. That song is now Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love Hugh Jackman.

So funny. He's such a funny guy. That is the latest. Thanks to Liquid Self-Service Lawnmats, you can wash and dry duvets from $8 in under an hour. Brie and Clint. You had a courier package stolen, Brie? People have touched up my package more than once or twice. No, not what I was asking.

They have. There's a lady in New Zealand who's taken to Reddit to share how she has got revenge on package thieves because it keeps happening to her. She obviously lives somewhere where her front door is either visible or probably not visible enough. You know, those are the ones that would really get stolen. God, I hate those people that steal other people's packages.

Like, there's just nothing worse. Like, why? Yeah. You don't even know what's in it. You don't even know if you want it. Or if it's in a courier bag, though, you know it's pretty good. We live in a weird age where people will order a $1500 phone and just in the notes say, leave it on my doorstep.

But I mean, that's where you order all of your sweater vests online and imagine if someone stole one of your packages, they open it up and it's a skivvy. That's the good thing about a sweater vest though, Brie. Once they steal one, they never want to steal another. They don't come back to your door. This lady, this Kiwi lady is using a similar technique and she's posted on Reddit about how she's beaten the thieves. She said, I'm glad to inform you that my latest plan to stop my courier packages being stolen worked successfully.

Wait, is she buying really bad stuff? No. Because that's a great idea. No, I think for a period she's buying nothing to get the message across and leaving fake packages out on her doorstep. She said during the last two weeks I had

two packages stolen from my front doorstep during work hours which I filled with used cat litter. Yeah, good. Good. And then people would even be more freaked out because they'd be like why is this woman ordering old cat litter on the internet who's ordering cat shit in the mail where do you even go what website is that she wrote use the environment to your advantage if they are stolen

at least they will be stealing my rubbish that's good too because where do you even put cat litter? Yeah. Where do you – oh, down the toilet, I guess. Do you? Yeah. Is that where you put cat litter? Isn't it like rocks and stuff? You scoop out the poops. Oh. Cat litter is disgusting.

Train your cats to go outside. Or train your cat to use the toilet. Or that, yeah. Yeah, that's impressive. She said a few more times, and my packages will be left alone. Oh, I love that. I applaud you. I applaud you. Someone did point out though they said, well, considering they literally

know where you live and they are trashy lawbreakers anyway, are you anticipating some form of revenge? Because if someone's willing to come to your house and commit a crime, are they also willing to take a dump in your letterbox? That's what you've got to figure out. Well, I'm going to say a big yes.

Just think about this for a second. What if your bosses were allowed to go through your internet history? Ooh. Whenever they wanted. I tell you what, knowing our bosses. All the time. I'd like to go through their internet history as well.

Oh, okay. All right, you get to see mine. I'll show you yours, you show me mine. That sounded weird. Shout out to Mike and Ross, our bosses. Clint wants to show you his. Alright. A major company

says that it plans to scour workers' internet history for adverse online behaviour. That's a breach of human rights, surely. I don't agree with this at all. Unless you're doing it on a work laptop, then... Then I'm still a bit iffy on that. Oh, don't do it on a work laptop.

I mean, you know, you should know better. Don't do it on a work laptop. That's why Brie and I refused a work laptop and chose to bring our own computers to work. That's not the reason. Anyway, they said they would look for certain behaviours and different breaches in their internet searches. Right.

Stuff like they gave an example where an employee shared a political meme about legalising marijuana. Yeah. And they thought that tells them a lot about that person. Well, that's a good point too. Like what internet behaviour is going to be unacceptable, you know? What are they specifically looking for? Boring Facebook statuses is unacceptable.

Okay. In some workplaces, you know. But I thought this morning, you know, why not put this to the test? We could hand over our phones to producer Anastasia. She's had them all morning. She's been scouring our internet searches and she's going to tell us what you and I have been searching on the internet. This makes me nervous.

You shouldn't be nervous, Clint. I trust you, Anastasia. There's another person in this. Why should I? Me? Right, okay. Well, I'm the only other person. No, I don't really Google that much.

When you're ready, Anastasia. Begin the expose. So Breeze was all collected from one day, whereas I had to scour yours a lot to find some interesting stuff. Oh, so you've hid stuff. You were quite. I spread mine out. Yeah, you like to spread yours out.

One discrepancy is a. There's just a lot of dad searches, to be honest. So, Clint, one thing I found was a Google search. Can you have too much ginger? It's a great question. And, Clint, can you have too much ginger? No. The answer was no.

All right. I had a cold. Perfect. Let's play some Ed Sheeran then. Bree, one of the first things I found, this was actually the first thing that came up. Is licking Himalayan salt lamp bad for you? I will say I don't have a Himalayan salt lamp anymore.

You know, as weird as that is, I don't regret you. I've wondered the same thing. I think a lot of people have wondered it. And I will tell you, it says any excess amount of salt is bad for you. Yeah. Good to know. This one actually might affect Clint's workplace environment, this piece of history.

Pay or query infringement at at.gov.nz. It's actually for my brother who texted me and said, bro, how do you pay a parking ticket if you've lost the parking ticket? Great question, man. I'd love to help you out. Producer Ben, get Clint's brother on the phone. We're going to check out his details. This was Bree's actually second search history search.

It was another Google search. If a bull and a horse wrestle, who would win? This is for research, can I say? What are you researching? It needed it for research. Surely a bull. Yes, a bull would win. We'll go

into Clint's last one that I found. It was a trade me search for Audi A6s and RS5s for sale. Clint, if you don't listen to our show. I'm looking for a friend. I'm looking for a friend. If you don't listen to our show,

usually Clint bought a brand new Audi last year. And are you on the hunt for a new one already? Are you updating your Audi every year? It was his daughter's birthday yesterday. He's getting her first car ready. Oh, are you buying her an Audi? It wasn't brand new. And it's always good to be looking for an upgrade. So that's why you today. She's getting her first car ready. Oh, are you buying her an Audi? It wasn't brand new, and it's always good to be looking for an upgrade.

So that's why you're looking for a brand new one now. I get it. Get back to licking your salt lab, mate. We'll round off this Internet Search Histories with Brie's last search, which was, I hope her partner's not listening, Google search Love Island auditions. Wow.

Also. Some people will do anything to get on TV. Really? No. Some people will do anything. Hey, that was for research. Yeah, research how to get on Love Island. Let's have a round of the real or fake name game.

What's their name? What's their name? His real name ain't some shady. Let's have a round of the real or fake name game We've actually got a space for you to play this with us If you want to play, there's $50 cash up for grabs You can call right now on 0800DIALZM And it's a pretty simple game You know when you think of a celebrity Let's say Jennifer Lawrence All you have to do is be able to decide Pretty simple game. You know when you think of a celebrity, let's say Jennifer Lawrence, all you have to do is be able to decide, was that her name given to her at birth?

Yes. Or did she create that name for a stage name? People either like to jazz up their name or if they've got a really weird name, they like to normal it out a bit. Yeah. Like Elton John. Make it like catchy, like a name that sounds good. Something that rolls off the tongue, right?

Can you imagine how hard it would be picking a stage name? Can you imagine, like, what would you call yourself? Diplo. Let's go with Matthew first. Matthew, you're going to play with us. Do you want to be on Team Bree or Team Clint? I'll go with you, please, Clint. All right, you're my teammate.

That means Amanda, you're on Team Bree. All right, Amanda, let's do it. Okay. How? How it works is five seconds to make a decision as a team. If you think you know it, teammate, just come in hard. Let us know that you know it. Running the game is producer Anastasia.

Anastasia, let's go with Team Bree and Amanda first. All right, Amanda, so once Anastasia says the name of the celebrity, you yell out if you think it's real or fake, okay? Yep, fake. All right. Awesome, guys. So celebrity number one is Adam Levine. Adam Levine, what do you think, Amanda?

I think it's real. Oh, I reckon it's not. But I'll go with you. It's real, okay? It's real. Amanda? That's correct. That's your real name. I It's real, okay? It's real. Amanda. That's correct. That's your real name.

I'm glad I've got you on my team, Amanda. That's a point to us. All right, we're on here. We're on here, Matthew. Let's do it. Anastasia, who have we got? Matthew and Clint, your second celebrity is Joaquin Phoenix. Star of Joker.

The guy that played the most. Real. Super famous. Real, right? Joaquin Phoenix. Matthew. Yeah, real, real, real. Brother of River Phoenix.

Boys, unfortunately, that's not his real name. It's Joaquin Raphael Bottom, but when he was a four-year-old, he changed his name to Leaf Phoenix. So him and his brother both used a stage name. I love that. It's bizarre. Yeah, right. Okay, one nil to the girls. All right, Manda both used a stage name. I love that. It's bizarre. Yeah, right.

Okay, one nil to the girls. All right, Amanda, come on. We need this one here. All right, girls. Celebrity number three is Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt. Any thoughts on that, Amanda? Emily Blunt.

I feel like it's real. It's so boring. It's got to be real, right? It's got to be real. Let's go real, Amanda. Okay, okay, okay, go real. Real. It's so boring. It's got to be real, right? It's got to be real. Let's go real, Amanda. Okay. Okay. Okay, go real.

Real. That's exactly correct. Yes! We make a good team, mate. Like, if you're going to go to the lengths of changing your name to something jazzy, you're not going to go with Blunt. Emily Blunt. Or Amanda, we've got two points.

If the boys don't get this one, we win and you take home 50 bucks. Oh, awesome. We got this, Matthew. Come on, we're still in this. Here we go. All right, celebrity number four is Amy Winehouse. Oh. Matthew, stage name, surely.

I would have said real. Oh, right, really? It's 50-50. Okay, I've got to go with Matthew then. If he thinks it's real, we're going to go with real. Lucky you went with Matthew, that's correct. That's a real name. Matthew, I had no faith in you right then.

I feel like you should just go with Matthew on all of them. You've kept us in the game. Back to the girls. All right, Amanda, we need this for the win, okay? Celebrity number five is the musician Frank Ocean. Oh. Oh, gosh. I don't know this one.

It's got to be a stage name. Surely got to be a stage name, Amanda. Okay. Let's lock in fake stage name. You're correct. That's a fake name. Amanda! That's easy.

That is easy. It's Christopher Edwin Cooksley. He changed it when he was 23, but he didn't actually legally change it. That's easy. It's Christopher Edwin Cooksley. He changed it when he was 23, but he didn't actually legally change it. That's the word. He didn't realise he'd actually done it on a fake website. There we go. Amanda, we make a great team, mate. 50 bucks coming your way.

We do. Oh, that's so great. Thank you so much, guys. No worries. Good way to start a Monday. That's the real or fake name game. Not the name of the game. The game doesn't actually have a name.

I've been playing it for like three months. It still doesn't have a name. Got to get around to doing that's the real or fake name game. Not the name of the game. The game doesn't actually have a name. I've been playing it for like three months. It still doesn't have a name. Got to get around to doing that. We'll get around to it. Brie and Clint. I, Brie, have had the call-up. I've been selected. Wait, you're going...

I'm one of the chosen few. Finally, your call-up for the Black Caps. No, not the Black Caps. Didn't think so. No, I think that team's become incredibly hard to get into recently No, I have been hand selected to receive the COVID-19 vaccination How have you made the cut this early? This is the question I've been asking myself I got a text message the other day that said

Here's your booking link I clicked through I've booked my spot I don't know anybody that's had the COVID-19 vaccination. I don't know anyone who has even had the invitation and yet somehow I've been invited to get the jab. Finally, you can admit what I have known for so long about you on this show.

What? You're over 50. And that is why you are getting the call up for any of us. It's not even age related because I'm not even in the, because the brackets are like over 60, over 50. And over 35. Over 35. No, I'm not over 35.

Are you sure? No, I'm not over 35. Check your birth certificate. And for some reason I've slipped through the cracks and I've got in there. And I put it up on my Instagram story and I was like, guys, I'm going to the big leagues. I'm going to get the COVID vaccine.

And probably rightly so, a lot of people in the DMs coming through going, how did you get it? I've got a pre-existing condition. I haven't even had it. And I agree. I don't know why I'm getting it before. Did you tell them though? What?

That you own an Audi? Because I heard Audi BMW drivers get to have the vaccine first. Right. Yeah. Right, right. It's that privilege you get. It's part of the service. Yeah.

When you become, you know, a driver of those vehicles, you get the vaccine first. Okay. Well, if that's it, then that does explain it. There we go. Story checks out. That makes the vehicle purchase so much more worthwhile. Have you been invited to get the vaccine yet?

Because I'm getting it in a week and a half's time. I've got my spot and I'm going to get it. No, I haven't. I also have asthma, but I also am Australian. Yeah, right. So I'm going to be way down the list. Right. You know?

I'm probably going to be like 20, 23. You're group 24. I'm last. be way down the list. Right. You know? I'm probably going to be like 20, 23. You're group 24. I'm last. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a member of this team who's actually had the jab already. Producer Ben, you're vaccinated. I had it on Wednesday. Well done, mate.

Actually, speaking of, my 5G has been really good this morning that you've been in the room. So I appreciate that. Thank you, mate. What's your Wi-Fi password? I don't have one. You just tap it to my shoulder. Okay, cool.

What was it like? What's it like getting the COVID vaccine? It was very easy. It was really, really easy. They just sort of took your paperwork once or twice, sat in two separate rooms, jabbed, and then waited 20 minutes and you're done. It was really good.

And how did you feel? I felt pretty good. I had a little bit of a tiny bit of an achy arm just for the day. Don't talk it up like you're a big man now. I talked to you the day after this and you told me that you had to cancel golf. Yeah, I didn't want to. Yeah, I couldn't play golf today. And you love golf.

Yeah. So it's big for you. He told me that his arm was so not functional he couldn't, he couldn't golf. It was sore, yeah. You do need to use your arms a lot in golf. Yeah, you do. That is the, yep, that's true. Ben's younger than me, but you have a pre-existing condition.

Yes, I have a heart condition. Oh, I was going to say, did you buy a BMW recently? No. But you're in your 20s. Yeah, yeah. Any weird looks as you're in there getting your vaccination? Because people don't know that you've got a pre-existing condition, do they? There would have been about 50 people on site at the same time.

Everyone would have been above 50, 60. Were you the youngest there? By far. Just sitting there. Really? Because I'd just come from the gym and I'd come back through and I was like, everyone's looking at me like, why is this young fit dude just sitting here? I was like, hey guys, I'm okay too.

I'm all right. I'm allowed to be here. Yeah, people being like, why is he here? Or people being like, where do you get your work done? You look fantastic. Yeah, yeah, all that. Yeah, all that. Watch your own box.

It came as a text message. It looked like spam. You might have got the invitation to not even know it. I'll check. I'll go check. We've just had a week off. And over that week, I caught up with a friend who I haven't seen for a while

and she is pretty sure that she is about to get proposed to. Oh, this is dangerous territory. Yeah. What do you mean she's pretty sure? She has intel that leads her to believe that her partner is going to propose

and that the proposal is imminent. See, I think I need to know the details. Has she heard from someone else? Has she found the ring? Because that's different. So he inadvertently may have let some of the cat out of the bag. What, to her? Not intentionally.

So I'll give you a couple of details. She's a friend from Luturuwa who I haven't seen in ages. Her partner is a truck driver. Okay. And because of that, you'll know this because you've got a shift working partner. Your calendars are all over the place. Your lifestyles are haywire.

You don't get regular together time do you no so she has decided the thing that their relationship needs is a shared calendar oh me and my partner got one a couple of months ago you said we wouldn't use it best thing we ever did you got a shared physical calendar. I know, even better. Retro. They got a shared Google calendar. Oh, no. He is not the most technologically savvy person in the world. And when you have a shared calendar, you still have your own calendar. And then there's another calendar that works for both of you. And they're two completely different calendars.

What you put in your own calendar, only you can see. What you put in the shared calendar, the relationship can see. What you put in the shared calendar, the relationship can see. He's put it in the joint one. He has put in the joint calendar an appointment time at a jeweler. I mean, that could be anything. He could be getting himself a nice gold chain, a set of grills. Not that kind of guy, though, is he? He's not the sort of man to go and...

He's left a paper trail. So he's left a paper trail. Now this is where it gets really interesting is if he doesn't propose... It's for someone else. It looks very suspicious, doesn't it? If he doesn't propose, and what time frame do you put on it? If he doesn't propose in the next

three months, her brain is just going to be going over and over and over and over and she's going to go, where's the ring? Where's the ring? He went to a jeweler, where's the ring? If he didn't buy me a ring, who did he buy a ring for? What would you do? Would you say to your partner that you've seen it? What would you do? Because you don't want to ruin

the moment for them either because they're going to go to all this trouble and put in all this work. What do you do? You have to sit on it. I'm a bad actress though. Let's role play right now. You pretend so I know and you pretend.

I've just come home from work. Oh, am I actually proposing now? You pretend to propose and then I'll act and pretend. Babe, obviously we've been together for a long time now. And I love you. And there's something that I wanted to ask you.

Oh my God, what? What? Can you tell me how this Google Calendar thing works? Because for the life of me, I can't figure it out. You prick. So yeah, I don't know. I think she has to sit on it. I think she just has to swallow it for a bit and hope for the best.

But there's a statute of limitations, right? Eventually she's going to have to go. The bloody cloud strikes again. It's the frigging cloud. It ruins it. It ruins everything. Ruins, you know, secret affairs when you're just trying to have

a good old-fashioned secret affair. He won't be the first person, man in particular, to give away the proposal. Because as someone who has proposed before, you feel like you are the secret that you are keeping. You feel like you're hiding a dead body. You're so on edge about it. You feel like everyone knows and you feel like it's written

all over your face that you're going to propose. When in actual fact, no one knows. No one's got any idea whatsoever. This happened to a good friend of mine where we all went away for a weekend and we were all, it was like all our friends, and we all knew that he was going to propose during this time away. And all our friends were there and it was really good. Anyway, we all knew that he was going to take her for a walk

to this special spot for them and then they were going to come back and we were going to have champagne and whatever. Anyway, they've walked off and as they've come up back up the driveway, we're popping champagnes and we're all excited and then all you see is him being like

stop it, stop it, stop it. He couldn't do it. She was like, what's everyone celebrating? And then he did it on the driveway. Let's take some calls on this this afternoon. How did you find out? This afternoon? No, this morning.

We're doing mornings. How did you find out about the proposal? How did you tweak to the fact that your partner was going to propose to you before they told you? Did you find the ring? Did you find the receipts? Did you find the appointment for the jeweler and the calendar? Did someone actually accidentally let it slip?

Yeah, yeah. You know, what happened? You can call us on 0800DARLS.M or you can text us as well on 9696. We're talking about when you figured out that you were about to get proposed to. A friend of mine, pretty sure she's going to get proposed to because her partner doesn't know how to work the shared Google calendar

and he has put an appointment with the jeweller in the calendar. Imagine if it's like a Love Actually situation. That's the other risk, right? Where she finds the present, which is a necklace, but then she opens the present and it's not the necklace. Oh, that scene just gets me every time. So we want to know when you figured out you were about to get proposed to. Yes, there's someone on the text machine who said,

the jeweller emailed our joint email to confirm that the ring had arrived in store. Idiot. You do this for a job. That's such a big fail. Yeah, it's so bad. Erin, you figured it out. You were going to get proposed to. Yes, I had a very similar situation

to the one you've just read out with the joint email. Oh, no. What happened? It was coming up to my birthday, and we'd been planning for quite a few months this wonderful trip to Australia without our son. It was just going to be a beautiful weekend together. And one day I saw this email with the subject line proposal.

Did you keep the secret, Erin? Did you sit on it? Did you pretend to be surprised when he did propose? To this day, he might be listening right now. He does not know. Hey, good on you. That's nice. How good was your acting?

How good was it? I had tears. It was genuinely wonderful. It was a beautiful moment. It was just, it was really hard not to. They were tears of joy because you were right. Oh, Erin. Who was the email from?

From the hotel that we were going to be staying with. I smell an upgrade. Yeah. I smell a big upgrade. Okay. Hey, thanks, Erin. That's awesome. Ashley's here.

Hi, Ashley. Hi, guys. Ash, tell us, how did you find out? I got a call from the jeweler saying that my ring was ready to be picked up. No. Ash, we're getting so many messages from people where the jeweler screwed it up and you would think that that's part of it, right? You've got two jobs as a jeweler.

Make a nice ring, keep a good secret. Yeah, well, he gave them my number. Oh, no. What a dum-dum. Why? Did he want you to have the warranty or something? I have no idea Oh no

That is the funniest thing So what do you do in that situation? Do you say to the jeweler, hey look He's given you my number by mistake Can you please call him and help me keep the secret Or do you just go, hey the jeweler called me about the ring I messaged him straight away And I was like, the jeweler called me about the ring? I messaged him straight away and I was like, the jeweler rang me about the ring. It's ready

to be picked up. And he was like, oh shit. That's amazing, Ashley. I love that. Happily married now though, Ash? No, broken up. Oh, we'll see. Bad omen. Yeah, right. Bad omen. Well, there you go. Well, that story ended

abruptly. So did the relationship. This person wants to remain anonymous. Good morning, anonymous. Hi, right. Bad omen. Okay. Well, there you go. Well, that story ended abruptly. So did the relationship. This person wants to remain anonymous. Good morning, anonymous. Hi, anonymous. Hi. Hi. How did you find out you were going to get proposed to?

So I was going about my day, as you do, and I get a phone call from my dad, and he said, congratulations, bride-to-be. Oh, dad. What are you doing, dad? No. And I said, what? And he said, congratulations, bride-to-be. He doubled down.

He doubled down. And again, I said, what? And then he realised what he'd done and he very quickly changed the subject. And then I had three very awkward flash, flash dinners that I had to get through with no proposal. Oh, Dad, what are you doing? Wait, there were three romantic dinners that I had to get through with no proposal. Oh, Dad, what are you doing? Wait, there were three romantic dinners that happened before he actually followed through with it. Dad's timeline was so off.

Yeah. Can you imagine he tries to play it off that it's a new nickname? Yeah. It's so awkward. I get it, though. Your partner would have gone to him and done the traditional thing And asked for permission And his blessing and everything See

What have we learnt Anonymous Never ask for permission To do anything Ask for forgiveness Yes And that's so good I

I So good Her proposal got ruined No She got there in the end The discussion didn't go well last time Are you happily married now Wait

Did you break up as well Well Yes Yeah we married And then broke up No way there in the end. This question didn't go well last time. Are you happily married now? Did you break up as well? Well, yes, yeah, we married and then broke up. No way! Oh,

yeah. I've got to stop asking that question, eh? Yeah, yeah, keep putting a downer on it. Bree and Clint had a big birthday

over the weekend. 40th. Shut up. For you, was it? You said you had a big birthday. There was a big birthday in the weekend. Did you? 40th? Shut up. For you? Was it? You said you had a big birthday. There was a big birthday in the family. You're over 30, so it's got to be your 40th.

That is the next biggie, yeah. It is the next biggie for you. Yeah. Do you count 35? It's the next biggie for you as well. No, I believe I haven't turned 30 yet. I believe you've turned 30 a couple of times. No, my daughter, Tui, had her second birthday on the weekend.

Yes. Which any parent who has reached the two-year milestone, you just go, where the hell did that two years go? It didn't seem quick at the time, though, a bit. No, it feels like the longest two years of your life, but then you get to the two-year mark and you look back and you go, I don't remember any of that. Yeah, probably because you're trying to block it out of your mind.

Yeah, there's some PTSD going on. And when I say we, my wife is at the stage of parenting where it's still exciting to make a really elaborate birthday cake. I championed her. I said, yeah, babe, you go for it. You do it. I was there for moral support. She told me to get out of the kitchen.

She said, I don't want you near this thing whatsoever. Tui's favourite thing in the world at the moment is diggers. So my wife Lucy made a digger cake. You saw it? Yep. Cool cake, eh? Very cool cake. Especially, yeah, especially for, I mean, a two-year-old.

Yeah. It would look amazing to a two-year-old. Yeah, and she's old enough to appreciate it. Yeah, she'd know what it is. The number of people that she's told she had a digger cake. I mean, depending on how good the cake was. That's the thing. You know?

Yeah. It can go either way. Because two-year-olds are ruthless. that she's told she had a digger cake. Depending on how good the cake was. That's the thing. You know? Yeah. It can go either way. Because two-year-olds are ruthless. If it doesn't look like what you say it is. They'll go, that's crap. Yeah. She'll go, it's yellow.

She might go, oh, duck. She'll go, that's a yellow blob, mum. The amount of work that goes into it. Have you ever made a cake before? I have. The amount of work that goes into this. Buttercream. I was on a... Baking, borrowing dishes.

We had to go around the neighbourhood and find dishes for it. I mean, I was on Kiwi Bake Off, not to talk myself up. Oh, were you? But I did appear on Kiwi Bake Off. I came last, but... Your cake was a monstrosity on that. Ooh, this feels moist. So that's three days old, that cake.

Very moist. Have a quick bite of the digger cake and tell me, do you think this was three days of my wife Lucy's life well spent? Yeah, you can dig my cake anytime. Delish. Very good. It's a parenting rite of passage, I think, and our parents did it. My mum made great cakes when I was a kid.

We had a clock for my fifth birthday and the hands were pointing to five o'clock. Wait, was this all from the Women's Day book? So, there's a new version of that. It's called The Great Kiwi Cake Book, and it's all cakes like that, but it's just been updated a little bit. Wait, does it have the originals? You know, like the castle.

It's got a train. The train. It's got a castle. What were the others? The pool? Oh, I didn't see a swimming pool in there. I'm pretty sure that's a pool, and they use like those brown biscuit things as the outside of it.

We don't share a lot of things. That's something we do share as a trans-Tasman family is the Women's Weekly Cake Book. It's what brings us together. What did your mum make out of that book? My mum ended up swaying a bit from the cake. And she'd make like our favourite cartoon characters. Oh, yeah.

My mum was super talented, eh? Yeah. Like I look back at it now, I didn't appreciate it enough as a kid. No. But like I appreciate it. No, no kid does. No kid does. And seeing the work that went in behind the scenes to make this,

I didn't thank my mum enough for my birthday cakes. Yeah. Like watching my wife make this cake, I did not give enough kudos. The blood, sweat and tears that go into these. Actually, you can have this cake back. Why? The blood, sweat and tears. A new update is set to come for WhatsApp

in the next couple of weeks where they've created what they're calling a chat bot, which essentially you can talk to, ask advice, provide that branch of connection for people who are feeling lonely. So essentially you can talk to someone, but that someone is a computer. Robot, a bit creepy. Have you seen that movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix?

Yes, where it's set in the future. Where he falls in love with Scarlett Johansson but Scarlett Johansson is just his phone. She's an operating system. We're one step closer to that. If AI can start to respond to our emotions. I had a bit of a relationship with my voicemail lady.

Did you? Yeah. Press one now. Yeah. To love hate relationship. Every conversation we'd have it always takes so long because she'd always just you know prompt me for things to go on a date with me press 102

I'm avoiding my voicemail lady It's too much. No I just they're just that voice They are a bit of a punish. They're a major punish I get the WhatsApp thing though if like what you and I were talking about, if you really need

some kind of connection. I think it's great. And I think AI can probably give us that in the future because loneliness is a real thing. Absolutely.

And there is reports that loneliness, the statistics on this since COVID, it's like absolutely exploded because obviously the last 18 months, probably some of the loneliest months for a lot of people, especially if you're in the UK or any of those places that were really badly hit.

But can you trick your emotions into feeling good about talking to a robot? Because you know you're talking to a robot. I used to love talking to Apple support. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They always would just... They only want to talk about Apple products though. But then I love talking to Apple support. Oh yeah? Yeah. They always They only want to talk about Apple products though.

But then I think they were real people. I never really knew. Well that's the key. If you can't tell the difference then it's good AI. Yeah it is. You know what's crazy is that I actually did a bit of coding back in the day for apps. Did you? And I've actually coded my

own chatbot. Have you? Yeah which've actually coded my own chatbot. Have you? Yeah, which it's crazy. I mean, it's been, you know, work in progress. What are the chances? It's not perfect, but I'm willing to let you test out my AI chatbot that I've developed this morning. Right, okay, I'll give it a go.

What do I ask it? So essentially you just ask it, maybe, oh, you know what, it's good at providing advice, my chatbot. Maybe ask it about that rash that you've had. I don't have a rash, okay? I have seasonal eczema, okay? I have some small patches of... I mean, I've got eczema,

otherwise known as a rash. Okay, fine. What do I do? Do I just ask it? Yeah, just ask it. Ask some advice about what you can do for the rash. Chatbot, do you have any advice for me? Maybe natural remedies, things I could do to help with my seasonal eczema? Is it eczema or maybe something else? You never can be too sure.

Depends where the rash is. Is it in a fragrant zone? I would suggest washing yourself more often. My senses tell me you haven't washed in a number of days. Okay, thanks. Boo-wee. No, thanks, chatbot. That's fine.

I didn't say she was polite. It's in the crook of my elbow. Yeah, so not a fragrant zone then. Look, I'm still working on the coding of making her more, you know, nice and complimentary. Clearly. Let's test another one. I think you should you know what you should ask her about? Ask her about the snoring

that you have because obviously you know how you snore and your wife Lucy. Not majorly, not a big deal. Is like, you know, a bit annoyed by it sometimes. No, well, slightly sometimes. Yeah, ask her about that. Chatbot, do you have any life hacks for snoring? Divorce. Alternatively, you can buy a futon and sleep on that forever.

Ah, selflessness. Great advice. Unfortunately, that one's weirdly accurate, I think. I think that is one of the only solutions. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, there might be some AI that can fix snoring in the future. We'll see. Ask one more question. I've got enough information.

No, I think you need one more. You love to, you know, figure out ways to save money. You're always on that next kind of grind, aren't you? And I've actually done a lot of coding with my AI on saving money. Saving money. Okay, have you got any financial tips, chatbot? What kind of car do you have? Calibrating.

Calibrating. Ah, a brand new Audi V6. Glug, glug, glug. Might I recommend a very sexy and fuel-efficient vehicle, a Toyota Prius. That'll save you some cash. Wink. Cool, I'm just uninstalling the app. She's not wrong.

Brian Clint. Welcome to a mind-blowing Monday, everybody. This is a segment we always do on our show on a Monday where we pretty much ask you guys to tell us a mind-blowing story. Like it could be a personal story that's a massive coincidence or it could just be a super good story. It could be something that happened to a friend. These stories are hard to come by.

Yes. And that's why if it does blow our mind, you'll hear this. But we don't just dish those out willy-nilly. No. We're quite strict. Because it either blows our mind or it doesn't. And if it doesn't, you're going to hear this. Which indicates that it hasn't blown our minds

and the story leans more towards a stinker. There's no rigid criteria on what qualifies for what. It's a feeling. It's more of a gut feeling. Yeah. And we're going to invite you guys to call in and blow our mind. But before we do that, we always like to offer one up first. Put ourselves in the firing line.

Yeah, right. Because if we're going to ask you to put yourself on the line, we've got to do it too. Bree has very bravely volunteered to blow our mind this morning. Can she do it? I'm not sure about this one. I will have sole decision-making power. But when you're ready, Bree,

please attempt to blow our mind this morning. I feel like this one is on the cusp, that's for sure. But obviously we just had a week off. I spent my time down in Queenstown, Wanaka, beautiful. And one of the days we decided we'd go skiing. So we went up the Remarkables. It was amazing. And something you need to know about me, Clint,

a little background about me. I grew up in really small, rural country Queensland, Australia. So the primary school I went to had 30 people. 30? From grades one to seven had 30 people. Right, okay. It's tiny, super rural, small country town. Anyway, so last week I went to the Remarkables, was skiing on the mountain and obviously you've got heaps of gear on, you know, when you're

skiing. Yeah, everyone looks so hot with their ski gear on. I don't. I'm the opposite of that. Really? Oh, I hate it. I'm like, how, everyone looks so hot with their ski gear on. I don't. I'm the opposite of that. Really? Oh, I hate it. I'm like, how does everyone look so cool? And I just look... That's a skill if you manage to not be attractive.

Yeah, right, okay. Anyway, so we're skiing around the mountain. And anyway, at one point I was skiing by myself because I'm not as good as the people I went with. So I was just doing a few laps by myself. Heavy belly. Exactly. Anyway, so I got on the

chairlift and you know people get on the chairlift as well next to you. Yep. And I started talking to the person next to me and we started having conversation and then the person on the other side of me goes oh my god Brianna Tomasell and I turn around and they pull their goggles off and it was a kid that was in my grade from Possiers State School that had 30 people in it sitting next to me on the chairlift. I'm going to give you... I'm going to give you... And I'll tell you why Because we have farted out stories like this before

30 people is a criteria Like being on the chair For someone you went to school with Not interesting 30 people is one thing It's a very small pool Being in a different country Is another thing

Especially at the moment Especially at the moment And you go Yeah Queenstown is full of Australians anyway The fact that they're able to be here at the moment, I think it just sneaks in. And the fact that they remembered your full name as well. Well, I mean, there was only 30 people.

Let's hope they remember me. Can you blow our mind this morning? I can't say this afternoon. That's all right. I mean, it's hard. Luckily, you're not saying that we're Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yeah, can you blow Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yeah. Can you blow Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's mind this morning?

That's us. 0800 dial ZM. Or if you'd like us to call you back. Actually, there's not enough time. You need to call us. You need to call us now. Yeah. You need to back yourself, back your story. Yeah.

Can you do it? Can you blow our minds? I reckon they're out there. I reckon these stories, we haven't. They come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The callers are coming through. Can you blow our mind? 0800 they're out there. I reckon these stories, we haven't... Here they come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The callers are coming through. Can you blow our mind?

0800 dials at M... It's a mind-blowing Monday. We do this on our show every Monday and essentially we're asking you to tell us a story so unbelievable, so good, that we can't help but give you this. No, that's the bad one. That's what you get if it's a stinker.

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering if I should have given you for that chairlift story. Oh, come on. Just the way you explained it just then. You said so unbelievable. So good. Yeah, true. It's pretty average. But once you've got it, there's no take back.

I feel like you gave me special... You met a kid from your school on the cello. You gave me special treatment. But we're not going to do that now. I wanted you to win. That's the one time I was in your corner. I was willing to cheat for you. Yeah. So if you get farted out, if you get

the stinker... There's no shame in it. There's no shame. Doesn't mean it's a horrible story. No, it just means it wasn't top, top, top tier. To that level. Top 1%. Here's some brave people who are going to give it a go. Blair, good morning. Hello, Blair. Morning, guys. How are we? Good, thanks, Blair. We're ready. Are you

ready to blow our minds? I think so. And actually, hearing Bree's story this morning, I think I can one-up her on the ski field. Okay, good, because that one was on the cusp. Blair, were you ready? Blow our mind. Yeah, well, a few years ago, I was

spending some time in Colorado on a ski field as well, and I was cruising around and heard a bunch of Kiwis' voices. And so, it's a rare thing hearing a Kiwi accent over in America. So I went over and said hi and invited them back to my place and got on the hot tub and we were chatting

and they were cruising from Colorado over to Los Angeles. And I jumped in. I said, oh, can I tag on for the rest of your trip? Jumped in the car with them and spent two weeks on the road. And halfway through the trip over to Los Angeles, I got chatting with all of them and found out that I knew the guys that I was traveling with and over the previous years had all met them in, like, previous experience.

So one of the dudes I was riding with, he was dating my sister's best friend. Yeah. The other guy, I met him when I was 14 over in Raglan and we talked about guitars real randomly on the beach in Raglan. The last guy, there was three of them, the last guy was my sticking cousin. Okay. Blair, I've got one qualifying question.

Wait. Was one of them your best friend's sister's hairdresser's son, though? Blair. Because if it was, I'm convinced. Important criteria, were you all New Zealanders? We were all Kiwis in America. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know. Oh, you've ruined Blair's morning. We have a rule, New know, I know. It's a Monday run. I know, I know. Oh, you've ruined Blair's morning. We have a rule. New Zealand is too small. And if you're all New Zealanders, there's got to be an international element to it. Yeah, but still cool, Blair, that you met them all over

in a place where you don't really see Kiwis. And you were right. Still better than Brie's. Still better than mine. Still better than Brie's. Better than mine, Blair. Let's see if we can get one. Hadley's here.

Hi, Hadley. Hi, Hadley. Hey, how you going? Come on, man. This is our step up to the big leagues. We've never done the breakfast show before. We's see if we can get one. Hadley's here. Hi, Hadley. Hi, Hadley. Hey, how you going? Come on, man. This is our step up to the big leagues. We've never done the breakfast show before. We've got to blow someone's mind. You're going to do it for us.

Please, blow our mind with your story. Okay, so over the weekend, I happened to meet another Hadley for the first time ever. He happened to tell me that the only other Hadley he'd met had hooked up with his ex-girlfriend. Oh, no. It just so happened that I had also hooked up with his current girlfriend. Wait. Wait. Were you the Hadley who hooked up with his ex-girlfriend? No, no. There was another rogue Hadley who hooked up with his ex-girlfriend, but you

another Hadley had hooked up with his ex-girlfriend, but you, another Hadley, had hooked up with his current girlfriend. Yeah, and he proceeded to warn me about Hadleys because that's what apparently they do to him. What have they got? He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. Like we said, we can't explain why you've got it,

but you've got it, Hadley. Because Hadley, you know the reasons, quite an unusual name. Yeah. You know, and what are the odds that a Hadley had done Hadley dirty one time before and then the new Hadley had done him dirty too? You know what the deal here is, Hadley, too. He's allowed to hook up with your girlfriend. It's only fair.

That's just the way the law works. Hey, well done, man. Very good, Hadley. Thank you, Hadley. You might have saved the show for us this morning. Bree and Clint. Hey. It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. Bree and Clint is Birthday Banger where we figure out the number one song on your 16th birthday and then we play the best one that comes through out in full. We did a Birthday Banger live party in Christchurch just before we went on holiday two Fridays ago and the greatest Birthday Banger in Christchurch turned out to be Fergie.

This here, the best birthday banger in Christchurch. And you might not think it, but the bar went off. The Carlton, this was massive. Because it was a sing-along. Yeah.

It has the vibe, right? That's what it is. It's all about the feel. You can't choose your birthday banger. Your birthday banger chooses you. So let's do some birthday breakfast bangers for the first time. Tasha's here. Hi, Tasha.

Hi, Tasha. Hi, guys. Morning. How are you? Good. How are you? Not too bad. That's good to hear. Good work.

A Monday, Tasha. A Monday. This might brighten your spirits. Let's do your birthday banger. What's your birthday? 3rd of the Tasha, Monday. This might brighten your spirits. Let's do your birthday, Banger. What's your birthday? 3rd of the 4th, 1984. So I'm probably the oldest. Oh, you never know.

You'd be surprised. You were 16 in the year 2000 on the 3rd of April. And Tasha, here's your birthday, Banger. A heart goes shalala-la-la, shalala in the morning. Banger. What a banger. What a banger. I love it. I love it too. I'm a Venga Boys freak. You're a Venga Boys freak. I love that, Tash. I'm so glad the birthday banger that you really like has chosen you. Let's get another one on for Woody. Hi, Woody. G'day, Woody. How you having? How's Buzz? Good, bro.

Yeah, good. Woody, what's your birthday, mate? 31st December 1987. All right, you were 16 in 2003 on the 31st of December. And in 2003, this had a number one hit. Oh, yeah. Yep. No, it's

Hey Young. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Woody, do you like your birthday banger from Outkast? Hell yeah. Outkast all the way.

Outkast all the way. That's a good attitude. They're OGs, Outkast. Is it the most overplayed Outkast song? Yes. Are Outkast awesome? Also yes. Will I still shake it like a Polkast song? Yes. Are Outkast awesome? Also yes.

Will I still shake it like a Polaroid picture? Yes. Yes. Okay, Woody, good stuff right there. We'll do one more for Gina. Hi, Gina. Hi, Gina. Hi.

How's your morning going? Yeah, it's going great. Thanks. How's yours? Well, not too bad, Gina. Might be better after we find your birthday banger. I've got a good feeling. Got a hope for this one.

All right, Gina, what's your birthday? 8th of July, 80.. Alright, Gina, you were 16 in 1996 on the 8th of July. Better be a good one. Better be a good one. Gina, 96, I've got a good feeling. Here's your birthday banger. Oh gosh, I hope so. I love to put it

in my carina. I love to put it in my carina. Hey, my carina. Gina, the good thing is your birthday banger has dance moves. I know. Hey, it's a timeless classic. Still gets played at weddings. Yeah. Do you want to hear it on a Monday morning, though?

That's going to be the question. I know I do. That is the question. Gina, do you like it? Would you choose it out of those three songs? We can only play one. Macarena. Yeah. To do the question. Gina, do you like it? Would you choose it out of those three songs? We can only play one. Fine. Macarena.

Yeah. To do the actions. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to go for the Macarena. Okay, wait there. My vote. Macarena.

My vote is... Oh, really? Absolutely. Over the Vingaboys. Yeah. Oh, cha-la-la-la-la. Over the Vingaboys. On a Monday morning.

Yeah, 100%. Nah, Macarena all day, every day. Okay, we're going to split vote. Yes. You can choose the producer. In the situation where we have a split vote, we defer to one producer and their vote is final. All three songs are back in the running.

Pick your producer, Brie. Producer Anastasia. Come on. Anastasia. Bring home the win. What is the winner of Birthday Banger today? It's a Monday morning And I want to dance So let's play the Macarena

Yes She's done it everybody Get your jump jam ready Gina This one's for you girl Here comes the Macarena Well done Gina You win

Oh that's Woody Oh that's Woody Where's Gina Shot Gina Well done Nice work Thank you Oh how good

The Macarena for your Monday. Brie and Clint, our first breakfast show. Could be our last. Okay, I get the vibe now. The right vibe for a Monday, I'm telling you. Brie and Clint, filling in for Fletch, Bourne and Megan for two weeks.

Maybe not after that. That's the winner of Birthday Banger. Our segment where we find out the number one song on your 16th birthday today. Los Del Rio and the Macarena taking out Outkast and the Venga Boys. A man who doesn't particularly enjoy that feature, Birthday Banger. It's his favourite segment we do. He's always supported it. Is the man who asked us very kindly to fill in on breakfast

is Ross Boss. Hi, Ross Boss. I guess this is relatively topical, right, with the football on. Well, that's what we thought. Europe at the moment, this is a classic own goal by me. That's some of your best work, Ross. You're funnier in the mornings.

Yeah, I really am. Yeah, by the time I... It's because I haven't listened to you guys talk that much just by now. So, like, I get a bit of... He's just had his V in his cigarette for the day. He's ready to go. And sausage roll, thank you. Would you have chosen the Venga Boys or the Macarena?

I mean... There's no good choice there, is there? Outcast, he says. I would have chosen sleep. Yeah, okay. Hey, see you at work soon. Thanks, man. Morning.

You've got two weeks of this. Cool. Cool. Yeah, Ross, he loves it. He's made a great decision. Yeah, it's good stuff. I actually am really embarrassed to tell this next story. Quite embarrassing thing happened to me.

I had a massive, massive Uber fail last week. Really? So you know how obviously- Not an Uber Eats fail? No, not an Uber Eats fail. I've had a few of those. Not last Friday, the Friday before, we went to Christchurch to host our birthday bang alive party.

Yeah. So you, me and Anastasia were all staying at the same hotel and Ben was staying with his family. Anyway, so you, me and Anastasia, we all went out for a few drinks afterwards and then we came home and then we all went to bed. Shout out to Fat Eddie's. Yeah, shout out to Fat Eddie's.

Every time we go to Christchurch, we end up on the balcony at Fat Eddie's talking crap. That's where it's at. I had to get up at half past five in the morning and yet there I was at midnight on the balcony at Fat Eddie's. So I had to get up pretty early as well because I was catching a flight to Queenstown to go on holidays and producer Anastasia looks at me the night before.

We were both, you know, we had a few fizzy lemonades and she goes, oh, wake me up in the morning and I can order you an Uber on my account because I've got the work Uber attached to it. Yes. And I was like, sweet, great deal. Free Uber. Free Uber.

Anyway, so I wake up in the morning. It's like 8 in the morning and she's ordering me this Uber. So she's ordered me the Uber. It's all good. Anyway, I went downstairs and I get into this Uber. And it's when this guy, the driver seemed super excited that I was getting into this Uber. Don't know why.

Yeah, maybe it was his first day. I don't know. Maybe you were his first ride. He just seemed super excited and he started asking me a few questions and I was like, this is weird. Why is he asking me where my family's from and all this kind of stuff? And then I've realised this guy was from the Netherlands and he thought I was from the Netherlands

because the Uber was under producer Anastasia's account. So I've realised this mid-sector. Anastasia with the Dutch last name. Luffen? Luffen. So I've panicked. I've panicked and went, oh, this guy's going to kick me out if he thinks I'm not Anastasia Lufen.

So I started to pretend. You didn't? I panicked. I absolutely panicked and I feel so horrible because I was like, I don't really know anything about the Netherlands. And he's like, whereabouts are your family from? Wait, is he Dutch as well? So he's Dutch.

That's why he was asking me about it. And I've panicked. And he goes, oh, Loofen, your last name, are you Dutch? And I went, oh, my God, he thinks I'm Anastasia. Yeah, I'm Dutch. My family's Dutch. Anyway, he goes, whereabouts are they from? And I was like, panic, panic, panic.

Just say anywhere that you know. And I didn't even, to be honest, I'm so bad with geography. Say Amsterdam. So I said Amsterdam. Oh, thank God. But I wasn't 100% sure it was in the Netherlands. I was like, I'm pretty sure it is. And I was like, oh, from Amsterdam.

He's like, no way. So's my family. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm in such big trouble. Which canal do you guys live on? Which high school did you go to? My kids went to school there for a bit and I was like, oh, I actually didn't go to school there. And he's like, where did your parents go?

And I was like, oh, I don't, can't remember. They're not educated. And then I panicked and he goes, oh, what do you know about your family history? And I said, the only person that I'm already getting nervous about it, the only person that I was sure of, like a famous person, that was from the Netherlands was Vincent van Gogh. And I said, I'm pretty sure We're related

To Ransom At which point he went This is not your Uber is it