ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 13th December 2022

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

HOW many dogs?! Top 5 Xmas songs Defecation disasters Sex Lives of College Girls See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. You are listening to New Zealand's best radio podcast as voted by a panel of experts. And now, please welcome to the podcast, Bree and Clint! Hi everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint award-winning podcast. That's what we call it now. The Bree and Clint award-winning podcast. Yeah, can we call it now, the Bree and Clint award-winning podcast. Can we get a little thing for the front of this, Claude? Maybe a couple of crowns or something? Yeah, sure. I've got nothing but time, so yeah, I'd love to do that. Sorry, I didn't have you turned on. What did you say?

I said I've got nothing but time, so I'd love to do that. Okay, cool. What do you want on the front? What do you want? You are listening to New Zealand's best radio podcast as voted by a panel of experts. And now, please welcome to the podcast, Bree and Clint. Do you think it's a little bit showy? Probably. We've got it.

Or is it not so? No, not just. Don't just use me. No, I'm going to. Guys, we're coming across too cocky, are we? Or are we just confident and proud of ourselves? I'd rather stay humble. Let's be humble.

Yeah. Let's do what Bree did. I wasn't even expecting. I was just happy to be here. Yeah. That's so cute. Well, you guys do that. I'll go full arrogance.

Yeah. And hopefully it'll balance out. It'll leave it all. Suckers. Yeah, balance. It's all about balance. I went to the doctor yesterday and I had a new... Prostate check.

I asked if I should be getting one. He told me I've got... He's like, stop asking every time you're here. I told you when you're 40 that's when you have to start getting them. That's exactly what he said. I know.

Why did I know that? Have you told me that? I think it's just accepted that that's when... I think you've told me. I think you've told me. That's when the finger goes up the bottom. It's like us ladies. We don't start getting mammograms unless you've got history.

50? 50, I think, yeah. Don't take our advice, by the way. No, ask your doctor. Ask your doctor. Whereas pap smears, you should be getting them from, I'm going to say, quite early. 16, 18. Nice exact round number there. What last year?

Get your pap smears. It's not that bad. I swear. Get a friend to take you there. It's important to look after your body You know it's no afternoon light This is one of the worst earworms I think I've ever had in my life. Totally right.

So can you not play it? But it reminds you that you need to go. It does, but I can never get it out of my head. It's kind of the best marketing for pap smears ever, isn't it? It just stays in my head. Anyway, I got an injection in my bottom yesterday when I went to the doctor. Did you request that?

Yeah. Was it? A finger injection. No, I got an injection into my bottom and didn't think much of it. Why in your bottom? It's very rare that they give you injections in your bottom. Yeah, I don't know why it was there.

My wife asked the same thing. What injection was it? None of your bottom. Yeah, I don't know why it was there. My wife has the same thing. What injection was it? None of your business. Dick. Anyway, I don't really get many injections. I don't really go to the doctor very often. I was having a shower last night and there's a little plaster on my bottom, which I

didn't find until I was soaping myself. I was like, oh, there's a plaster on my bottom. So weird to me. And once I pulled it out of all the hair that plaster on my bottom. So weird to me. And once I pulled it out of all the hair that's on my butt cheek. Do you have hair on your butt cheek? No, I don't. No, he totally does. I don't actually know because I can't see it.

You do. Do you want to see? Yeah, go and show us your butt cheek. I don't think he does. I actually don't think he does. Are you filming? No. No, this is not for the camera. This is just for us.

Don't film my butt cheek. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let's make bets first. What do you girls think? Yes or no? Yes, but mate. I think medium. Like a peach fuzz?

Well, I mean, everyone has hair on their butt cheek, but is it visible? Is it dark? No, not visible. Okay, not visible. Is it ginger? I'm going to say it's not visible. Ella's going visible. What are you going? Not visible. Not visible. I'm gonna say it's not visible Ella's going visible

What are you going? Not visible Not visible Oh it's visible It's like a light It's like a light spattering You got a light Yeah

Well how did you see it? I did it away from you I said don't film it I said don't film it I'm not filming She's just looking I just looked This is the last time

I get my ass out at work To be honest There really wasn't that much to say You've got a pretty flat bottom A flat O-Pitch I still want to know why you got the injection in the butt For medical reasons Are you okay?

Yeah I'm fine, the injection sorted it out What injection was it? You can't share Can you tell us? Oh yeah It's nothing bad It's fine Oh good

But I'm just interested to know Why it was in the buttocks Yeah I don't know Why it was in the buttocks Because I've never had one In the buttocks It was an injection of Voltaren No

Yeah Like the The painkiller Yeah yeah The anti-inflammatory What the heck? I don't know why the buttock. Because you've been gymming so hard and your butt's like all strained from squats.

Yeah, my butt is so hard now. Why did you? The needle bent. Why did you have an injection of Voltaren or you can't share? Because I got my seasonal gout again, okay? What's gout? That's nothing. I've been trying to not talk about it and then you fucking force it out of me like that.

Well, I honestly did not know, but can I say, and can I take this opportunity? I'm not looking to be the poster boy for Gout. Don't say it's not embarrassing. Don't say you should open up about it anymore. Don't say you should not be embarrassed to talk about it. I'm not trying to be the poster boy for it. I'm not going to be an ambassador for it. Okay?

I don't want to be the guy who... Can I just say... Hey, it's not just fat old guys who get it. I get it too. I don't want to be that guy. Can I just say can I just say there is nothing to be ashamed of

when it comes to gout. We should make a song. So now there's the spokesman for gout. It's okay if you've got gout. Get your stuff in your booty. Is that what they do? I didn't know that That's how they treat it

It's so meh It's quite interesting Get your past there No It's not the best way Get your gout, yeah Get your friend to take you there Get your voltare in

It's important to look after your gout Watch your drinking this silly season 30 year old men, okay? Otherwise you two will also have to get a stab in the bottom. No prawns for you this Christmas. That's what does it, eh? The seafood buffet is off the table, yeah. Damn you, gout.

And shout out to any of our other listeners who have gout. You have nothing to be ashamed of. No. You're clean. Gout is nothing to be embarrassed by Don't be embarrassed Stop being so embarrassed I'm more embarrassed by this

I don't get what's embarrassing about gout Is gout What's the female equivalent? Thrush? Yes I get thrush Is gout not what I think it is? What do you think gout is? We've googled it.

It's like a form of inflammatory arthritis. It's when you indulge yourself too much. What do you mean? It's a rich man thing. Do women get gout? Not as often. Not really, no. Sounds like a fish.

We're going to go. It does. It's got a disgusting name. If it had a better name. It does. I think that's what it is. Sounds like a fish. We're going to go. It does. It's got a disgusting name. If it had a better name, everyone's just called. It does. I think that's what it is. Sounds like a fatty. It's the same as thrush.

Like thrush just doesn't sound good. Boil. It's not good though. Humoroid. It's not. That's thrush. We're going to go. We're going to go.

Well, that's thrush. Clint's doing an Instagram live about it. A Q&A. I've got a thrush. Let's go. I'm coming in. Well, howdy, pilgrims. What time is it?

Three, two, one. It is Bree and Clint. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to the fourth to last Bree and Clint show of 2022. God, that's gone quick, kind of. 2022? Yeah. Has it?

Yeah, I think so I can't really remember what's happened this year but it feels like it's gone quick thanks for joining us it's going to be a fun show are we still talking about

how we're award winning I feel like it's it's not too old yet we've got to be humble we're a gold medal winning podcast yeah feels good to say it.

Still good? Yeah, still good. Yeah. Just carry it on for the rest of the year. I'm just going to check in with Claude. Claude, now that we officially have the best podcast in New Zealand, officially radio podcast. Yeah.

What was our listenership like yesterday? Did it skyrocket? Oh, yeah, absolutely. We're number one forever, baby. I thought so. Do we beat Joe Rogan's? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. We're number one forever, baby. I thought so. Do we beat Joe Rogan's? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Nice.

How many podcast downloads does Joe Rogan's podcast get? I don't know. That's a really good question. Millions? How much did Spotify pay him to buy that podcast? And how much did Spotify regret it when all that stuff that he started saying on the podcast came out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spotify are like, damn it.

Okay, let's get into the show. Do you want to play Tradie vs. Lady? Do you want to win 50 bucks cash thanks to KFC? Well, if you do, you should call us right now on 0800-DIAL-ZM. Bree and Clint. Time for Tradie vs. Lady. Bree and Clint. Tradie vs. Lady. All right, here wez. Tradies versus ladies.

All right, here we go. We're playing for triple points. The tradies picked up a win yesterday. They're on 114. The ladies on 95. Let's meet our lady first. She's from Auckland. She's 36, and she can say the entire alphabet backwards.

You know we're going to ask her to do it. Welcome to the show, Emma. G'day, Emma. Let's hear it, mate. All right. Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-S-I-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A. Whoa! You know, even if you were wrong, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

As long as you started with Z and finished with A, we'd believe you. Yeah, I'd be like, checks out to me. Do you know, I knew a girl, and tell me if you've got this ability too, Emma. I knew a girl who could say any word backwards instantly up to three syllables. Oh, I wish. I think I can just do the alphabet. Yeah. Yeah, that's impressive.

Like you could say to her animal and she would give it to you backwards. Oh, that freaks me out. Landon. No, not very good at that thing. Close. Okay, let's meet our tradie today. He's from Christchurch. He's 20.

He plays golf, and he got a hole-in-one once. Welcome to the show, Finlay. G'day, Finlay. What's your handicap, Finlay? Right now, it's about 20, 24. Sheesh. Did you see John Key's hole-in in One over the weekend, Finlay? Yeah, it was pretty exciting, eh?

Pretty impressive, eh? Yeah. Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck. I reckon it was the pink shirt that got him over the line. Okay, Finlay, your buzzer is tradie. Emma, yours is lady. First three correct answers gets 50 bucks cash from KFC. Good luck to both of you. Here we go, guys. Question

number one. Which artist released a song this year that has the lyric, It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Lady. Yes, Emma. Taylor Swift. That is Taylor Swift. Also her birthday today, fun fact. A happy birthday to Taylor Swift.

Happy birthday, Taylor. Question number two. According to Colonel Sanders, how many secret herbs and spices are there? Three. Yes, Finlay? Eleven. Yeah. Eleven is on the money.

We are tied up one apiece. I reckon one of them is tarragon. You reckon? Yeah. There you go. I had tarragon the other day and I was like, this tastes like KFC. Really?

Don't sue me, KFC. And thank you for sponsoring our show. I hope I didn't just reveal one of the herbs and spices. Well, they need 10 more if they want to get it right, so they're a long way. Question number three. Buzz in, guys, when you can tell me who sings this song. Tradies.

Lady? Nicki Minaj. It is Nicki Minaj. What a banger. Two to the tradies, one to the ladies. Question number four. What is the largest number of children born at one time by a single woman? Is it?

Ladies. Tradies. Yes. Emma? I'm going to say eight. Eight. Wow. Eight is correct.

Was that a guess, Emma? It was a guess because I was a bit early. Yeah. That was incredible. It is Yeah. It was incredible. It is eight. Octomum. Octomum. All right, we are all tied up.

This is for the win. Question number five. Which video game company has developed the majority of the most popular video games ever? Lady. Yes, Emma, for the win. Nintendo. She's got it Emma, for the win. Nintendo. She's got it. She's a lady.

Oh, she's a lady. That was an incredible comeback. Finlay had a great game too, but Emma, you came through with the win. $50 coming your way. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. Triple points to the ladies.

That puts them on 98 for the year. Bree and Clint. ZM Bree and Clint. That is who was that? Sons of Zion. Should know that by now. They've got a new song out. Have they? Yeah. It's not that one. No, it's not that one. Played that one 1900 times.

Cassie Jeffries. And you still don't know who it is. I still don't know who it is. Man, I'm bad at my job, eh? How on earth did we win the gold medal for the best podcast in New Zealand? Because those parts aren't in it. Stop clapping, okay? It's not new news. It's 24 hours old.

Stop clapping. Stop clapping. It's only gold. We didn't win platinum. We've got a guest on the phone. Oh, yeah, that's right. Cassie Jeffries is our guest. She's from Bethel's Beach in Auckland.

She's in the news today because she's got a lot of dogs. And I mean a lot. Oh, my God. This could be my favourite interview ever. Cassie is here right now. Cassie, please reveal to us. How many dogs do you own? So we own ten dogs. Ten? Cassie, please reveal to us, how many dogs do you own? So we own 10 dogs.

10? Cassie? 10 dogs. Oh, my God. I've just seen a picture of them. Oh, it's the cutest. It's the cutest picture ever. And there's a baby in it, too.

There's a baby as well. Like a human baby, not a dog baby. Yeah. 10 dogs and a baby. You crazy woman. Cassie, what are you up to, mate? That seems like so much work. Yeah, we'll start with the obvious question. Why? Why do you have ten dogs? It just kind of happened. It sounds kind of crazy

I guess to a lot of people. No, three dogs kind of happened. Ten dogs? Kind of on purpose. Yeah, so there's reasons for each of them. Some came through rescue, some we adopted through friends. One we're a guardian home for, so one day she'll have puppies for a breeder. Yeah. Oh, Cassie. You possibly have ten of the cutest dogs as well.

They're really cute. I don't imagine any of them are pure anything, but I'm seeing something that looks a bit husky, something that looks a bit German shippity. One looks like Lassie. Yeah, one looks like Lassie. Two look like Lassie. One looks like a...

That's crazy. It's insane. Cassie, I think my one question for you, because I have two dogs and it's absolute chaos at my house, so I can only imagine 10 dogs, one baby. How much poo do you have to deal with on a daily basis? So much. So we also run a dog business from our property, so there is poo all the time.

So we get like a horse poop scoop. Yeah. And we just go around and we like scoop it all up. Wow. Do you prefer, and your baby is very young and they poo a lot, do you prefer baby poo or dog poo? Baby poo. Oh, your baby hasn't started eating solids yet.

That's when it changes. Yeah, no. That's when it changes. And it's like in a diaper where it's like dog poo. It's contained. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dogs, it's uncontained. Yeah, that's true.

With 10 dogs, where do they all sleep? So they're all crate trained, but sometimes we let them sleep in the lounge as well, but usually they'll just sleep in their crates. One of my questions was going to be, are they allowed on the furniture? But the picture that we're looking at, all 10 of your dogs are on the couch in the living room.

They have their own couch. Oh, that's the dog's couch. That's the dog's couch, yeah. Oh my God, that's so smart. I read that you also got married this year. You might be the busiest person in New Zealand. And at your wedding, there were more dogs than humans in attendance.

Yeah, so we got married just as they changed the rules about COVID. So we couldn't have anyone unvaccinated there still. And it was all just a bit weird. So we were like, we'll just do a nice small wedding and make it happen. So how many people? There was more dogs. How many people?

There was about seven people. Seven people? And how many dogs? Nine dogs. Wow. I love that, Cassie. That sounds like my dream wedding. Have you always been someone that's been like a massive dog person?

Yeah, I've been into dogs since I was a kid. She's like, no, I hate them. I'm more of a cat lady. More of a cat person. Right? I want to know, are you, because you had nine earlier this year, you've just got ten. Yeah.

Are you going to get more? Yeah, I don't know. No, Cassie, 10 dogs, that's so many. Who's your favourite? They're all my favourite. They're not listening. They don't listen to the radio. Yeah, our frequency's not high enough.

No, so like I have a really special bond with our husky, Minx. She's really, really cool. And like in that respect, she's my heart dog. Oh, cute. The others all have their own place as well. Like you all have a place in your heart, right? Totally. Can you name them all on the spot?

Go. So we have Minx, Hugo, Cookie, Luna, Mochi, Astro, Fen or Fenria Snow You're at eight I know Fat Boy and Tofu Fat Boy Fat Boy

He's a Pomeranian Wow Okay Quite incredible I feel like you could maybe make I know you've got a dog business

but you could charge people to come and hang out You basically You know cat cafes You've basically got a dog version of that at your house. All you need is an espresso machine and some baked goods

and you're good to go. We took them all to Moatat once for an event for their, like, day of happy, I think. That's crazy. And so we took all the dogs there and they just came and hung out with kids and people and it was quite hilarious. I will pay you money to house at your house.

With her two dogs as well. With my two dogs. Cassie Jeffries, congratulations on all of the dogs and people in your life. Well done. Thank you. Congratulations to you guys too for your radio watch. It's awesome. Oh, you brought it up.

Oh, thanks so much, Cassie. You said it. Stop, stop, stop clapping. Stop. You said it, Cassie. Guys, we can't clap every time someone mentions we have the number one podcast in New Zealand, okay? Bree and Clint from iHeartRadio. This is the latest live from LA with Dean McCarthy.

Dean, she released the 1994 banger All I Want For Christmas Is You and people have figured out how much money she would have made from the song. Talk about some cash. Mariah, she's the biggest diva in Hollywood and also one of the richest. She has made over $106 million from All I Want for Christmas Is You. Now, here's what's brilliant about this song, right?

Just as you're getting sick of it, just as you're over it, it's the holidays right on. And then it's back to our regular lives. And then 11 months later, we've gotten it out of it. And then all of a sudden you hear that, ah, don't. And you're like, oh my God, it's almost Christmas time.

And then you get pumped up again. It's something like $3.6 million every single year. And it's still the number one song around the Christmas holidays every single year. Nothing has topped it. Even when she did that weird Justin Bieber remix version when they collabed, which I actually really enjoyed, that's the only time it's topped itself.

Interesting. I mean, Camila Cabello could give her a run for her money with her, You reckon that's going to become a $104 million global smash? A household hit. You're so right, Dean. You only have to hear it for four weeks a year. That's it.

It is a genius business model, but you have to have the right song. You're right. Everybody has tried to do it. The Killers have tried to do it. Ariana Grande has tried to do it. Oh, I love hers, though. Yeah, it's nice. That's a good one.

But for some reason, that Mariah one, and I feel like it wasn't even a thing. Like, it was when it came out, but then it had a huge gap. I feel like the Mariah song has only really come on in the last five years. Really? You reckon? I don't know. Five, maybe ten. Maybe ten. Maybe ten. It's up a full album as well. That's the other thing. It's up a Mariah Carey Christmas album. The whole album.

I couldn't tell you one other song from the album. There you go, that's the latest. Live with our Hollywood correspondent Dean McCarthy. The news just before said the Prime Minister has apologised the song from the album. There you go, that's the latest. Live with our Hollywood correspondent, Dean McCarthy. Brian Clint. The news just before said the Prime Minister has apologised to David Seymour for an insult

she muttered under her breath on a microphone she didn't realise was still hot. But the news did not tell us what the insult was. So we've found it. Okay. We don't often broadcast audio

from Parliament TV, but Producer Claudia has managed to find it for us. Is it easy to understand, Claude? Is it easy to hear? It's definitely in the background. So you kind of have to focus to hear it. Okay. All right.

We're going to play it, and you tell me if you think you can hear what Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said about David Seymour by accident. Question number five, Nicola Willis. Thank you, Mr. Speaker. I could hear exactly what she said. Just in case you missed it one more time.

Question number five, Nicola Willis. Thank you, Mr. Spick. So good. To my ear, it sounded like she may have possibly said, such an arrogant prick. Allegedly. Allegedly. She could have said pig. Question number five, Nic an arrogant prick. Allegedly. She could have said pig. Question number five, Nicola Wallace.

Thank you, Mr. Sick. She's admitted to it. It was arrogant prick. She's even apologised. She's like, I apologise that people heard, but I still think that. It's so hated in there, eh? It's so heated.

I don't think I've ever heard of it. And they really don't like each other. Like, you'd think it might be theatrics, they really don't like each other. Nah, I've never thought it's theatrics. I'm always like, you can tell it's pure hatred. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there you go. That's what's going on in the House of Parliament. Brianne Clint. Right now we're asking you for your defecation disaster story. God, there's some there is some text on this, I tell you. There's a reason for it. We're not just

going down south because it's the end of the year. We've forgot. We've run out of things to talk about. It's because Kate Winslet has opened up on Graham Norton about how she nearly did that live on stage during a theatre show when she was 18. Far out.

I don't think it could get much worse, but there's some texts that are giving it a run for its money. Someone said, I was live streaming on Twitch. I ate some ham earlier and I didn't realise it had expired. I farted and I shat myself while live streaming to a lot of people. A lot of people. Depends what you were streaming, I guess. Like, what were they tuning in to see?

Well, what something was streaming, that's for sure. Jeez. God. Let's talk to some people who are brave enough to share their experience. Like Brayden. Hi, Brayden. Hi, Brayden. Hi, Brayden. There you go.

Mate, don't be ashamed here. It's a safe space. Tell us your defecation disaster. I was about 10, 11 years old at a school camp over in Kaiteriteri. Oh, no. And I was mid-swimming. I was like, oh, I'm busting for a dose. So I come charging out of the water.

And this is back in the day where you weren't allowed to go anywhere without a parent or a teacher or whatever. So I just sit there or stand there waiting for these parents to finish their bloody gas bag. I'm talking like a solid 15 minutes, I'm holding this bloody deuce in. And then eventually they turned to me and go, oh, Braden, what is it? I need to go for a shit! And I

sprinted off down the road towards the crapper and that thing was turtlenecking as I was every step I was taking. Oh, Brayden, oh my God. That was so graphic. The way you explained that, I felt like I was in the water with you. You have a knack for storytelling, my friend. Looking back, I probably should have just gone in the water,

but, you know, I had respect for myself. Brayden, you've made my day, Brayden. I like all the different descriptive words you use. The verbiage was intense. It was great. Someone texted through and they said, I was on a first date in Dubai. No. Yep.

I was on a first date in Dubai with someone that I'd met on Grindr. I had drunk the water in Dubai, all dressed in white. Say no more. Oh, no. At least they kept the story classy. Just use your imagination. They didn't use any of the words that Brayden used in that story. Cara's here.

Hi, Cara. Hi, Cara. Hi, how are you going? Thanks, Cara. Tell us what happened. So I was in Israel and we'd just come back from a day trip and the bus dropped us off sort of just outside the city. And we were like, yes, we will just walk back to our Airbnb,

enjoy the scenery. And a few blocks in, I just wasn't holding my own. And we kept looking for toilets and had no luck. And I just said to my partner, like, it's happening. I've got to go. So I had to go down an alleyway I felt very insecure and we only had one wet wipe

in her handbag and that was it and by this stage it was too late so we had to awkwardly like get an Uber and I had to Uber back all the way to Airbnb very not sorted in the back seat so it was quite... In the backseat, figuratively and literally.

Yeah, I feel sorry for the Uber driver. Are you and your partner still together? Yeah, we've been married for three years. That's true love, baby. She wanted to. How long had you been together when this defecation disaster happened? We had been together for 18 months at that point. Oh, see, it's not that long.

You're right on the line, I reckon. It's a really make or break situation for the relationship. You passed the test. Thank you, Cara. You passed the test. This story is out the gate. This person texted her and they said, I was doing a bike race in New Caledonia and got food poisoning.

The race doctor gave me some medication and put me on a flight home. I couldn't understand him as he was French. I went through customs and I got randomly picked for hand swabbing. They swabbed my hands and said I tested positive for explosives. They did a bunch of checks and finally let me fly. Oh, my God. Was touch and go with explosive diarrhea the whole way home. I went to A&E and the doctor said,

I don't know what this medication is that they gave you, but it's used in explosives. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. That's wild. Who is this doctor? Maybe they got confused when he was like, or she was like, I got explosive diarrhea.

All right, this woman wants to be packed full of TNT. We've got explosives here. Take this. Finally, Jessica's here. Hi, Jessica. Hi, Jess. Hey. This conversation's been really touch and go, to be honest.

But take us out. What was your defecation disaster story? Oh, God, it was a while ago. I would have been maybe 18, 19, and I was driving from out west to go see some friends on the North Shore, so a bit of a drive. Yeah.

And I was experiencing some stomach issues along the way, and I was like, oh, God, oh, God, where am I going to start? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Panicking. So I ended up, unfortunately, thinking I was going to do a little fart, and it wasn't. You never trusted.

Running in. You never trusted, Jess. I know, but it's just no control. Anyway, so I pulled into the PK at Te Kapuna, ran to the toilet, disposed of my underwear, and then I just carried on with my night. Went to my friend's house and had fun with the girls, had drinks and everything, and just acted like it never happened. Wait, wait.

You threw your dirty undies out at a BK in Takapuna? Jess. Well, not, okay. You carried on. Wait, no, no, no, no. You thought to yourself, that's not going to ruin my night. I'm going to continue on. Yes. Well, I think when you're that age, you thought to yourself, that's not going to ruin my night. I'm going to continue on. Yes.

Well, I think when you're that age, you're like so determined, like this is my night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. No, I reckon she was like, it can't get any worse than this. It's all up from here. You know, for me, Jess, if I'm on a night out, if I, you know, have a little vomit or if I poo my pants.

Yeah, you feel better. No, it's usually time to call the night and go home. Well. Jess is like, yeah. And now. Play on. You heroes. Some heroes don't wear capes.

Or undies. Or undies. Bree and Clint. It's about damn time. Talking about Christmas songs, does Lizzo have a Christmas song? She should. She should. How good would a Lizzo Christmas song be?

She'd do a great Christmas song. Claudia, can you look that up for us? If it is, we'll get you to pipe a bit of it in. We're going to talk about Christmas songs. Someone has done the research to find out, according to the Spotify data, what are the top five Christmas songs in Aotearoa New Zealand right now?

Because you'd think you know what they would be, but then the data never lies. Yeah. It never lies. And unless you're playing it off CD in the privacy of your own home, you're probably getting it from Spotify. So what they've done is they've looked at the songs, the most popular

songs of the last 90 days and from there, isolated the Christmas ones and then ranked them, the top five. What I found interesting, no Buble. No Buble whatsoever. Oh yeah? No Elvis, no Buble. No Buble whatsoever. Oh, yeah? No Elvis. No Elvis whatsoever.

No, um, no... Justin Bieber? No Justin Bieber whatsoever. He had a Christmas album. I don't want to ruin this, so let's get into it. Let's get into the top five songs. The fifth biggest Christmas song in New Zealand, according to the data, this year, right now, is from Pentatonix.

It's called Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. People who like Pentatonix, really like Pentatonix. In fairness, not an original remake. Not an original. Whose version do you like?

That one, yeah, that one. Yeah, this one. This is my favourite. The one that was on the OC. Number four, See Ya. This is the weirdest last. This is the fourth biggest Christmas song in New Zealand right now. Ahead of Snoopy's Christmas,

ahead of Here Comes Santa Claus, ahead of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. A hit of Elvis' Blue Blue Christmas. Never heard this song before. Haven't you? No, I haven't. Oh, I have. Does Sia have a Christmas album?

I don't know about that, but I've definitely heard that song. Yeah, right. The third biggest Christmas song in New Zealand right now, according to the data. Oh, come on. Where's Camilla Cabello in Queer's Mice? It's from one of the members of BTS, V. It's their song, Christmas Tree. So I tell you a million tiny things

that you will never know. Haven't heard it. Sounds lovely, though. Sounds beautiful. And there's something really good about new Christmas songs and getting new stuff on the playlist. Are we out of touch, though, when it comes to Christmas songs? Maybe.

Because that first three, they're not on my playlist. Anyway. No, I can't say they're on mine. But what have we got? Number two. Number two. Right. Now we got? Number two. Number two. Right.

Now we're cooking with gas. Wham. Wham in Last Christmas. Of course, number one is Mariah Carey. You don't know that. This whole list has been a surprise. The number one Christmas song according to music. You don't know that. You don't know that. I whole list has been a surprise. The number one Christmas song according to music. You don't know that.

You don't know that. How did you know that number three was going to be from one of the members of BTS? You don't know what number one is going to be. I'll bet you a hundred bucks. I'm not taking that bet because it's Mariah Carey. There's a reason she was trying to rebrand herself as the Queen of Christmas.

Claude, any Lizzo Christmas songs? There is one from six years ago. Oh, yeah? It's called Never Felt Like Christmas. You got a little bit of it for us? Yeah, here you go. It's on your wall. Oh, there?

Okay, yeah, yeah, cool. Hang on. The night tracker was boring and the carolers off key. I never saw a miracle on 50-something street. Hey, not bad. I like it. Yeah, yeah. I like it too. Bree and Clint. Hey, not bad. I like it. Yeah, yeah. I like it too. One of my favourite things about Christmas is some of the traditions,

the unique or the quirky things that different families do. And I've realised since my time working at this radio show that my family does some weird stuff. Christmas lasagna springs to mind. Mate, I'm going to get that happening. If you're not having a lasagna for Christmas, what are you doing? I love lasagna. Why is it not a Christmas food?

As I say this out loud, the argument does not stack up once you look at all the other food on the table. But to me, it's too hearty for a summer's day. As I say this out loud, the argument does not stack up once you look at all the other food on the table. But to me, it's too hearty for a summer's day. A lasagna is too hearty. How old are you? No. How old are you?

What, are you going to get heartburn? No, I'm saying like Christmas and summer. What do you think they're having in Italy on Christmas Day? I rest my case. Pizza? Lasagna. Yeah, right. You know why lasagna is such a good Christmas main meal? Why? Because it feeds so many people and you can square it off easily. Everyone gets a piece. It's a great Christmas main. Okay, you can make me

a lasagna for Christmas. You wish. Takes ages. Weird Christmas traditions that you didn't realise, like you, you didn't realise until you stepped outside of your own family bubble. Brothers and I used to decorate the Christmas tree in our undies.

Yeah, weird. Don't know why. I don't think that's something. Just became a tradition. Got more and more awkward through our teenage years. Your poor sister. She was, yeah, well, yeah. I can just picture her being like. She's a lot younger. I'm not going to get involved in this.

I think she escaped that one. Yeah. She's like, I'm okay with not being part of that tradition. We used to have, when we were kids, like when we were younger, on Christmas Day, we'd always have a water bomb fight. That's fun. That was like a Christmas tradition. Yep.

Always have a water bomb fight. Yep. We always... And then the droughts hurt. And then the droughts hit and we haven't done it since. Definitely a very prominent Christmas tradition in our house is we all, in the morning on Christmas Day, the Christmas album

the Christmas album has to be playing before anyone can open Christmas presents. The Elvis Christmas album? Yes. Or just any Elvis. If you can't find the Christmas one. Producers, any weird family Christmas traditions out there for you guys? Mine isn't super weird but we

every Christmas will wake up super early, which like, you know, there's nothing like waking up super early on Christmas. And we'll always have pancakes every Christmas for breakfast. Pancakes. Less hearty than lasagna, but equally as good. You've got to get into it, Claude. Breakfast lasagna on Christmas Day.

I hear that's the next big day. Get up at 3am and start making it so it's ready for the family when they wake up. Guys, don't be silly. You have Christmas lasagna for breakfast on Boxing Day. Ella, any weird traditions in your family? Extended family. I never got it.

But every Christmas in the afternoon at Grandmum's, all my cousins would have their nap. Their traditional nap. That's a drinking thing, I think. No, no alcohol at these gatherings. I think that's a pretty common Christmas tradition. Wait, wait, wait. I couldn't believe it. I think we've just found Ella's weird Christmas tradition.

What? No alcohol. No alcohol? No alcohol. Yeah, no alcohol. Really? None. The aunties, the uncles, they don't drink.

Yeah, that's a bizarre tradition. Do they smoke heaps of weed? No. Not that I know of, but we could spike the punch bowl this year. Cram up on the D floor. Your word's not mine. I love it. Okay, all right.

Should we shop around for some weird traditions? I'm into people's weird Christmas traditions. People are just texting through. Someone said, you do not have lasagna on Christmas Day. It's not an option. Well, don't come around to my house

because we have had it every year on Christmas Day. It's a visceral reaction. I was where that person is. I'm coming around to the idea. It's just such a, it's so abrasive. I'm going to go ahead and say,

a Christmas lasagna more important than a Christmas ham. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, afternoon, we want you to call us on 0800-DIAL-ZM and share them with the country. We want to know just how weird or unusual or unique they actually are. Yeah, what's your weird Christmas tradition? You can text it to 9696 as well. And are you okay with a Christmas lasagna? Yeah, Christmas lasagna, yes or no, text us, 9696. Bree and Clint.

We're talking about your family's weird or just unique Christmas traditions, but more importantly, we're critiquing Bree's Christmas lasagna. Mate, I'm going to get this started. If you have never tried it, don't knock it till you tried. I'm telling you, a Christmas lasagna will go down so well on Christmas Day. People will be raving about it. They'll be like, whose great idea was it to bring the lasagna? It is really dividing people on the text machine.

There's a lot of positivity for it. Someone said, I'm Italian. Hell yes to a lasagna on Christmas. Someone else texted in all capital letters, you do not have lasagna on Christmas. It's not an option. Some people are saying, I prefer lasagna to a ham Me too, all day

Someone said lasagna is out Make a French toast casserole instead Okay, no, we're not substituting One unorthodox Christmas food For another unorthodox Christmas food Why not? I say change it up What's a French toast casserole? Imagine your family are over

They're ready to sit down for Christmas dinner And then you bring out a French toast casserole. Guys, let's go crazy. Why not make just a cob loaf? Oh, how good's a cob loaf? Someone said F yes to Christmas lasagna. Lasagna doesn't sound bad. You've lost the plot, lady.

No way, lasagna over ham. Excuse me, I'm a man, not a lady. Okay No way, lasagna over ham. Excuse me. I'm a ma'am, not a lady. Okay, park the lasagna. Let's get on to people's weird Christmas traditions. Jo's here. Kia ora, Jo. G'day, how are you going? Jo, tell us, Christmas lasagna, yes or no?

Definitely a yes for me. Yes, Jo. Yes, my friend. What's your family's weird tradition, Jo? It is lasagna on Christmas Day. Oh, my God, it is. Stop it, Jo. Oh, my God, are we lasagna twins?

We are. Mine's already made and in the freezer. I've got two in the freezer, one's for my celiac nephew as well, gluten-free. That's exactly like my family, my brother's fiancee, celiac. So we got two. Yep. So we're twins, yep, definitely.

Oh, I found my soulmate, my lasagna soulmate. I hear an Aussie twang in that accent there, Jo. Are you one of Bree's fellow country women? Yeah, I've been here for 30 years, so. I can still hear it. It never goes away. Whereabouts are you from, Jo? Melbourne. Oh yeah, nice. Maybe it's an Australian thing.

Are we related? What's your last name, Jo? Let's go to Greg. Greg, what's your weird family tradition on Christmas? So whoever's hosting has to make a dessert that has ingredients with every letter of their name. I think, Greg, you might have the most unique Christmas tradition we've heard. All in the one dessert? Yeah, all in the one dessert. Okay.

But can I just say, I'm so in favour of the lasagna, because let's be honest, all those traditional Christmas meals, I mean, for the Northern Hemisphere anyway, I mean, to fatten up and get you through the winter time Yeah I said my logic wasn't sound Okay you're on board Greg I love it We're in New Zealand

Do what you want Do what you want Can we just make a dessert with my name quickly? C Chocolate Chocolate L Liqueur

Oh yeah I Um Um Iodine What? What? What? Ice.

Ice? Ice? Oh, I smell a cocktail coming along. Oh, yeah. N? N, Negroni. Negroni? Spagliato?

With some Prosecco in it. And tea. What's tea? Tea? Pineapple. Pineapple. No, my name's not Klimp. I love Greg. You can come to my Christmas, Greg. Beverly's here. Hi, Bev. No, my name's not Klimp. I love Greg.

You can come to my Christmas, Greg. Beverly's here. Hi, Bev. Hi, Bev. Hello. How's it going? Good, thanks. Tell us, Bev, what's your unique Christmas tradition?

So being from a Catholic family, we tend to go to church at 9 o'clock, and then after that, we'll go home and have Noche Buena, which means like midnight feast. Yes. Okay. And then that's when we open our home and have Noche Buena, which means like midnight feast. Yes. Okay. And then that's when we open our presents as well, even the kids. So they just have to have a nap beforehand. You open your presents directly after midnight mass on Christmas night?

Yes. Wow. You do all the presents? Yep. See, if my mum had sold it to me like that, I reckon I would have gone to midnight mass a little bit more often. You know, I might have maintained the tradition. It's a good motivation to go there. Yeah, it really is.

Beverly. And no presents if you don't go to church. Is that how it works? Sort of, yeah. Yeah. Nice, Beverly. Plus you go to hell. You have the power, Beverly.

I hope not. Also. No, no, no, not you. Not you, sorry. Christmas lasagna, Bev. Yes or no? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a three for three. It's a resounding yes. No, not you. Not you, sorry. Christmas lasagna, Bev. Yes or no? Yeah. Yeah. It's a three from three. It's a resounding yes. Bree and Clint. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's birthday banger.

All right, here we go. Birthday banger for your Tuesday. This is where you guys call us. Tell us your birthday, and then we figure out what was the number one song on your 16th and then we will reminisce and play one in full. We're starting with Janice this afternoon. Hi, Janice. G'day, Janice. Hey, guys.

What's up? How are you? Yeah, not too bad. It's a nice summer day today, finally. Finally, right? Finally. I know. Were you named after Chandler's girlfriend on Friends, Janice?

No, please don't do that. Don't do that to Janice. All your life you've had to deal with that? All my life. Okay, we won't do the catchphrase. Don't, no, don't, Brie, don't. All your life. Sorry, Janice.

Okay, let's move on. Janice, what's your birthday? 23rd of May, 1990. Alright, that means you were 16 in 2006. And on your 16th birthday, this was number one. Banger. Were you named after Janice Joplin? Janice?

No. No, okay. I'm going to stop asking. Do you like your birthday, Banger? Yeah, it's pretty good. I like Christina. What about Shakira? Do you like Shakira? Shakira. I'm from to stop asking. Do you like your birthday banger? Yeah, it's pretty good. I like Christina. What about Shakira? Do you like Shakira?

Shakira. I'm from the same era. Christina, Christina. Same vibe. Okay, wait there, Janice. We're going to go to Tate. Kia ora, Tate. G'day, Tate.

Hello, how are you? Good, Tate. How are you? I'm good. I'm just driving at the moment, but it's starting to get a bit better. Oh, nice. Good to hear, Tate. Well, let's take your mind off it for a bit. What's your birthday? 9th of September, 1984. Alright, that means you were 16 in the year 2000. And Tate, here is

your birthday banger. Oh, you've hit Brie right in the soft rock soft spot. Right in the soft rock, Tate. You've given me a big soft on with that one, Tate. Given me a bit of bent. I was obsessed with that Matchbox 20 album. Like, obsessed.

I'm pretty sure I had it on my dissonance. Is this the one, the guy who's got the goggles on the cover, the black and white cover? I think so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It had a heap of hits on it. I love Matchbox 20. I don't think that's the right song, though.

Do you like it taped? I used to love it, but I think I've moved on. Yeah, okay. You've moved on! It's no 3am I must be lonely, is it? Yeah. Wait there, wait there, wait there. We'll do one more for Rick. Kia ora, Rick.

G'day, Rick. G'day, team. How are you, mate? Good, yourself? Good, thank you. Rick, keen to do yours. You're the last one, so? Good, yourself? Good, thank you. Rick, keen to do yours. You're the last one, so what's your birthday? 14th of January 1987. Alright, Rick, that means you were 16 in the year

2003. And let me take you back there with this banger. Oh! Banger. Absolutely banger. I can tell you as well, Rick, you are exactly two weeks older than me. And if you were born two weeks later,

your birthday banger would have been J-Lo, Jenny from the Block. What do you prefer out of those two songs, Eminem or J-Lo? Eminem for sure. Yeah, yeah. What a great time to be 16. Okay, wait there.

Brie, what do you reckon? Shakira, Matchbox 20, Eminem. I think it's got to be that Eminem song. I'm voting Matchbox 20. You are not voting for that Matchbox 20 song. I love it. Let me vote for it. Vote on the song, not the artist.

No, I am. I loved that song. Okay, all right. I'm not the artist. No, I am. I loved that song. Okay, all right. I'm not going to win anyway, but I will feel better knowing I voted for my favourite. Okay, well, all right. We'll go to a split vote and we'll go to Ella today. Hi, Ella. Hi, Ella.

What's the winner of Birthday Banger this afternoon? I want to hear this song for the first time ever. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She doesn't want it to win. Don't vote for it for that reason. No, she doesn't want it to win. It's not the right song. It's not the right song. It's not the right song.

I really like it. Yes, do it. You'll love it. Are you going to be mad? It's kind of like the Harry Styles of the 2000s. Clint's actually mad. I want to go with it. Can I do it?

Do we have the song? Clint doesn't want to play it. Why don't you want to play it? Can you just play it from the start and we'll know. We'll know. We always... No. How long is it?

Four and a half minutes. Oh, it's a long one. It's a long one. Oh, we ran out of time. Hey, Rick, you just won a birthday bag. Congratulations. How good? Thank you. Hey, Rick, you just won a birthday bag. Congratulations. How good? Thank you.

I'm glad the right artist won. I know, but Rick, you would have loved Matchbox 20, though, too, wouldn't you? Rian Clintz. Yeah, I would have loved it. Here's a winner of birthday bag. You're on Zidane. His palms are sweaty. Knees weak.

Arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already. Mom's spaghetti. He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready. Oh, excuse me. Adele on ZM. Whoa. Joke got a bit of my own saliva. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. It's oh my God.

Anyway, as we were. Hey, a bit of a TV show recommendation for everyone. Is anyone here watching the TV show The Sex Lives of College Girls on Neon? No. It's a great show. Not a reality show. So don't get excited. College in America means university, doesn't it?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing. Phew. It stars Timothee Chalamet's sister, Pauline Chalamet. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And, I mean, just go watch it.

It's a great show, but she's come out recently, which I found this quite interesting, and I never really knew about tv shows where she has said um that there is a lot of sex scenes in the show and she said one of the most cringe things for her is like worse than actually filming those scenes which she said is real bad but it's actually having to do extra noises in the voice booth for those scenes. Oh, do they do that? So I never knew this, right?

So apparently they have to do that. I guess they can't wear a microphone, can they? Well, no, but they'd have microphones around the bed. Yeah. But yeah, so apparently they have to like add in noises and act by doing, you know, the noises we're talking about. I know the noises you're talking about, yeah. We got a little bit of the trailer here for the show.

She's not used to guys like you. You should have seen the boy who came to visit her. He looked like a goat. I did forget my toothbrush. Put a shirt on. All right, this is yours, Whitney. This is yours. She's good. Tonight,

we're going to rage our brains out at the anything but clothes party. I will be making a mini dress made out of caution tape and caution. I will be showing some ass meat. Can you please not say ass meat while we are eating? But my mind is blown by that fact that they have to do extra, I guess you'd say, sound effects for the sex scenes. Yeah, you're right. That would be one of the more uncomfortable parts of the job. It would be so uncomfortable and she says is the epitome of cringe. I thought we could test our

acting abilities this afternoon. Not with that. Oh, okay. Because that's weird. That's too weird. What I've. Oh, right, right. That's too weird. Right, okay. What I've done is, right, what I've done, Clint's like gearing up to do this.

I was like, ahem. He's gearing up to do his sexy moans. Look at him. Well, I didn't want to do it. Well. Okay, I'll do it. No, I'm just kidding. You want to?

If you want to, you go for it. No, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. What do you want me to do? So what I've done is I've written down four scenes and you can take your pick and then you can pick one for me. So we'll go one for one. Okay.

So each of them is a scenario and then what you're going to have to do is pretend like you're in the sound booth and you're going to have to make extra noises for that scene. All right, cool. Okay? Yeah. So do you want one, two, three or four?

Three. Okay, three. Your scene is doing deadlifts. Oh, okay. All right. All right, so the scene starts and... I see what you're doing here. I've already figured out what you're doing. I've already figured out what you're doing.

What were the other scenes? Changing attire? Running a long distance. In constipation. Weird how they all sound the same, right? I know, isn't that weird? Isn't that so weird? Isn't it?

All sound the same. Brinkley, here's Post Malone on Zoom. You walked right into that one. I was so proud of my deadlift too. I was like, nailed it.