ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 13th March 2023

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Oscars monologue recap Trending taste test Only Dans Underwhelming proposals See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Just a heads up, if there's kids listening, this podcast intro has some dirty content in it. Alright. Hi everybody, welcome to the Bree and Clint podcast, where we're Oscars debriefing at the moment. Haven't seen Avatar? Don't bother. I quite liked it. Nah, it was garbage. It was an hour too long. Terrible. Hated it. That bad. No, it was garbage. It was an hour too long.

Terrible. Hated it. That bad? Yeah, it was really bad. It was nominated for Best Picture today. It didn't win. James Cameron wasn't even there at the awards. Yeah.

He was nominated for Best Picture. He didn't even attend. That's big dick energy. He wasn't nominated for Best Director. Some people were like, do you think he was salty? Absolutely. Because he didn't get nominated. Absolutely he would have been.

He's already won for Avatar, so he doesn't need another one. Yeah. I feel like he needs another one. It's been a while. I feel like, yeah, once you get the bug. They won something, though, didn't they? What did they get? Avatar.

Yeah. Special Effects. Special Effects. New Zealand's longest movie award, I think they won. Yeah. I think Special Effects is deserved. It was really beautiful. It was an expensive movie. A movie cost $2 award I think they won. Yeah. I think Special Effects is deserved. It was really beautiful. Most expensive movie.

A movie cost $2 billion. Two, yeah. Yeah. Most blue people in a film, I think. Yeah. They also won that. Most water in a film. They took down the Smurfs movie with Katy Perry.

Yeah, they did, which was quite a big category. Most alien genitals in a movie, think that was also the space docking award they got the space docking award for the yep oh you make that sound that's awful isn't that pretty good don't do that again um guardians of the galaxy there's a blue. There was a blue guy in there. Yeah, well done. Thank you. Thank you. Can I just say? Yes. Guardians of the Galaxy number two was one of the shittest movies I've ever watched.

Number one. Have you seen? Liked it. Guardians of the Galaxy, the Christmas one. Look, after number two, I don't think I'm ever going to sit down to any Guardians of the Galaxy stuff again. Are they going to make any more Iron Man movies, Claude? I know he's dead.

I hope not. Oh, I cried for so long after that movie. How would they? I don't know, prequels? Oh, here's a question. Out of all the Avengers, who is the Avenger you'd most like to hook up with? Oh, great question. Scarlett Johansson.

Probably. That's what the character, you have to say the character. Scarlett Witch. Shotgun. Debs. Elizabeth Olsen. Yeah's not the character. You have to say the character. Scarlet Witch. Shotgun. Debs. Elizabeth Olsen. Yeah, she is hot. Is, um.

Wait, so I have to remember her name to get over there. Andrew Garfield. And if someone remembers her. Black Widow. Spider-Man. Oh my gosh, Spider-Man. Black Widow. Black Widow.

Spider-Man or Zendaya. Which Spider-Man? Any. Tom Holland. Wait, Zendaya's not an Avenger. She's just a normal person I don't care I'll give her a kiss any day

She's not She doesn't have any powers She has the power of friendship Ella's like Harry Styles That's fucking lame Harry Harry Harry Since you didn't go No no no wait

Probably Don't be boring Since you didn't go ahead No no no wait Who are you looking at? Probably Don't be boring Gru I am Groot Groot from Despicable Me Is it Groot? My bad I'm trying to think of a fun answer

Yeah Ant-Man Oh yeah He's hot That's not funny He's hot He's Paul Rudd Ant-Man

When he's the size of an ant No I fucking saved it You won't be able to see him though Have you guys watched The Boys? Huh? Nah You'd love it

It's got It's got Anthony Starr in it From Outrageous Fortune Yeah He's amazing Because he's that meme From that There's that photo It's that meme from that there's that photo

it's the meme from the boys forever forever I thought that was Chris Pine oh that's sad

and I just realised that Anthony Starr is in the boys wait who's Anthony Starr he was the main character on Outrageous Fortune he's so good in the show

one of the main characters on Outrageous Fortune Anthony Starr is he related to Jeffrey no he was Tammy Davis best friend on Outrageous Fortune on Outrageous Fortune One of the main characters Is he related to Jeffrey? No He was Tammy Davis best friend on Outrageous Fortune He played two characters on Outrageous Fortune

He played twin brothers That's talent I'd recommend that show If you're not squeamish Is that him? That meme in the corner is one I thought was Chris Pine This one? Yeah.

Yeah. This is very visual. Very visual. Just a heads up, a lot of Only Fans content on the show today. I always love having this chat. My partner and I have this chat sometimes where we talk about

the idea of making an Only My partner and I have this chat sometimes where we talk about, you know, the idea of doing, making an OnlyFans account and how much it would take, what kind of content you'd do. And if, you know, because I mean, I always see, because I follow a lot of that crew that live in LA, like who used to be friends with David Dobrik or are still friends with them. Yeah. Still friends with them. Yeah. Still friends with him.

And there's like all these different clips that come up on my TikTok where they're doing a podcast and they're talking to some of the people in that group that moved to OnlyFans. So there's this one girl, her name's Corinna, and she was, so she's a Twitch streamer, so she's a gamer girl and she would make her money you know um doing twitch live streams because she's beautiful and she's great at gaming yeah and she has a following and she's got a following anyway she decided she'd move into only fans

i can't remember exact numbers but she was making like millions every month i'll google it i'll google it yeah can you google what's the most Corinna, whatever her last name is, made in one month on OnlyFans? Okay. The thing that blows my mind about OnlyFans is that they always report their income in months. I know.

Which shows you the turnover. Because I'm sure some months, if you're hot, like topical, it's way more. Yeah. But they don't average it out to a year like everybody else's salary. They're talking per month. Doesn't really matter when you're making $4 million in one month, though, does it?

Literally. That's exactly what she made in the first month. $4 million. Doesn't really matter how much you make it in a year. $4 million. And now she makes $1 million every month. Pretty good. Not bad.

But what kind of content is she doing? I don't know. Is it very graphic or is it just like. Some people are only doing, you know, like boobie shots or like, you know, sexy photos or whatever. Who knows? Because I mean, Harry Jowsey's on there. What's he doing?

He does full coffin balls and stuff. Does he? I'm pretty sure. Can we say. I had a look at one of my friend's he? I'm pretty sure Can we say that? I had a look at one of my friend's phones I'm not going to name who But one of my friends Named him

Had an account Do we know them? And we looked up Harry Jowsey Do we know the friend? Do we know them? Nah, you don't know them Yeah, we do Yeah, yeah, yeah

And we had a look at They would Had a look at Harry Jowsey's account A lot of it's behind a paywall. Did you see his hairy Jowsey? Oh, come on. Sorry, boomerang. This is too much.

Dirty possums. Okay, this is like our thing. But let's just, in the big scheme of things, like what would you, like how much money would it take like if there was a guaranteed amount if someone came to you and said we will give you two hundred thousand dollars a month and you have to do x y and z on your only fans account for how long do i get the two hundred thousand and what is x y and z yeah it's a two-year contract I'm not getting naked So how much is that? I'm not getting naked

It's about $5 million I put my feet in there I put Ella's feet in there Your feet? That's all you're going to bloody hand over? I'd wear my clothes but I'd do one little twirl every day and that's all you're getting Yeah it's $4.8 million

Yeah give or take How much am I doing See it's harder for men Yeah because now you're dangling the 5 million dollar carrot And you're like oh my money's worth It's not like you can just like whip out one testicle And be like sexy Yeah

And I've never seen like dude stuff before I don't know what dudes do for the dude stuff oh there's heaps of stuff that they can do helicopter i would do a helicopter a day for two years for 4.8 million dollars yeah i would with your face in it oh yeah oh my god only because i've perfected my helicopters. Oh God, this is graphic. I don't like this. That's an image. That is an image.

Get it out. Get it out. Say something else. If anyone who listens to this podcast is on OnlyFans. I think they want to see some OnlyFans content for us. No, no. Can you let us know? Can you tell us how much you're making?

Like, we'll start a thread. Can we start a thread on the podcast family? Yeah, if you're on OnlyFans, what kind of content are you posting and how much are you making? I genuinely believe there'll be no one. I think that... You reckon?

I reckon... It's pretty mainstream these days. But I don't believe that it is. I think there's like... I think you're being left in the past. Possibly, possibly. But I think there's a very vocal minority of people on there who make you think that everyone's doing some OnlyFans.

My childhood friend, who I'm no longer friends with, R.I.P., is doing it. Well, they're dead. What? They're not dead. It's just R.I.P. the friendship. Why? Because they're doing OnlyFans? No, no, no, no. Oh, I was like, that's a little bit rough from you. Absolutely not.

I would be friends. Anyway, I'm going down a tangent. It's a different reason you're not friends. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, that's a little bit rough from you. Absolutely not. I would be friends. Anyway, this is, I'm going down a tangent. It's a different reason you're not friends. Yes, yes, yes. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, we don't need to ask you intimate details. No, it's all good. Yeah, see, that's what I mean.

Even like I was watching The Bachelor's Australia, and there was like girls on there talking about how they, like real casually, oh, yeah, I do some over the top. Yeah, I would believe that they did. I'm saying that I think in our podcast ecosystem, I'd just be really surprised if there's. Yeah. Okay.

Well, it'd be interesting. Yeah. If you do, yeah, comment and tell us. And link us. How much? No, don't. Send us some money. You had to go too far, didn't you?

You had to take it too far. And now it's weird. We can look it up on Bree's friends account. Oh, I've had an idea. Clint, you should do an OnlyFans, and it's exclusively Gooch content. No one would be doing that. I reckon it'd be quite niche.

I could be at undercarriage Clint. Yeah. Or, no. Oh, my God. We should do a joint one and we could call it perennium and hooch. No, perennium and gooch. Like Turner and hooch. Okay, needs workshopping.

Yeah. We'll work on it. Just go and reserve the handles, please. Ella, a gooch is the part between the balls and the butthole. It's the piece of skin in between. All right. It is. That's what it is.

Oh, it is. Good afternoon, everybody. Fit in, free and clean. And I'm feeling good. Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome to Bree and Clint's technology help desk, where I'm trying to help Bree get into her own email account. My work email has not been working on my personal laptop for weeks, which, I mean, doesn't sound great on my part. I've been getting by, and now it's gotten to the point.

It's like that song, you've been getting by with a little help from your friends. Yeah, literally. Have you seen that email? And you're like, describe it to me. I'm always like, producer Claude, if I were to go into this email, what would it say? She's always like, oh, Brie, get your email fixed. This is all because she doesn't know her password. Does anyone? Yeah, no, yeah.

Well, we sort of. What's your password? I have no idea. No, tell us, on air. I'm not falling for that trap. Anyway, Brie just goes to me before, I think I need a new laptop. I was like, why do you need a new laptop? She goes, my email doesn't work on this computer.

You just don't know your password. And rather than try and sort it out, you're going to get a whole new laptop. I'm also a Safari user. That's the other part of the problem. Which I've just always, you know, resisted going over to Google Chrome. So, you know, I think it's time. I think I need to jump ship and get across to Google Chrome. It's time to get with the real world and, yeah, get on Google Chrome.

By the way, we were right about Candy Squiggles. It's official. We were too. And they are back. And today on the show, every caller will instantly score one of the very first packs of Candy Squiggles. Every person who gets on air with us today gets a pack of candy squiggles. This is amazing. So if you get on the show and you say

literally even one word, you get candy squiggles. Like this person. Watch this. Hello ZM, who's this? Hi. Hi, what's your name? Oh, congratulations. You just won a pack of candy squiggles. Nice work.

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You got them, my friend. You've come to the right place. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you. Oh, my God. The power that we wield this afternoon is incredible. I do love having, you know, everyone wins

everything on our show. Claudia, how many of these can you be bothered dealing with? Like if Brie and I just keep answering them, how many can you be bothered doing? Well, let's see how far we go. I'll tell you when. Let's see how far we go. Hi, who's this? Ah, yeah, Steve. Steve, you just won a packet of candy squiggles.

Woohoo! Nice work, Steve. Go on, let's do another one. Hello, you just won a packet of candy squiggles. Woo-hoo. Nice work, Steve. Go on, let's do another one. Hello, who's this? Guys. Who's this? This is Kelly. Kelly, you've got a packet of candy squiggles. Nice work.

Thank you. You're welcome. Let's go again. Claudia's loving it. Look. You know who's going to get candy squiggles? Whoever gets on here to play tradie versus lady with us this afternoon. The scores are 20 games to the Tradies,

19 games to the Ladies and alongside your 50 bucks cash from KFC, you'll get Candy Squiggles this afternoon. That's right. If you want to play, good day to do it. Call now 0800 DIAL ZM. We'll play Tradie vs Lady next. Here's Miley Cyrus on ZM. We were good, we were gold. Kind of dream that can't be sold. We were right till we won.

Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradie versus Lady. But they have to play Tradie versus Lady because that's the competition we're running right here. The Tradies are one point in front with 20 wins. Plays the Ladies 19. Let's go to our lady first.

She's calling in from Hamilton. She's 25 years old and she used to be a huge fan of Rhys Maston. Does that take you back, Holly? Oh, just a little bit. Why do you mean you used to be a huge fan? What changed? Well, he a little bit. Why do you mean you used to be a huge fan? What changed? Um, well, he kind of stopped making music, but I also, you know, when I say a huge fan, like, I mean I

was obsessed. I don't think he did stop making music. I think you just stopped listening to his new stuff. Hey, Holly, I swear I saw that he's touring the country, like soon. He's coming, yeah. Apparently the Christchurch show's already sold out. Yeah.

Are you going to go? No, I'm actually not. Like she said, she used to be a huge fan. What are you, like, in a serious relationship now or something? Yeah, maybe. You're taking on our training today. They're calling in from Timaru. They are 35 years old,

and they still have a javelin record at their high school. Welcome to the show, Kane. G'day, Kane. What are we talking? What's the record? I think it's like 64 metres. Jeez, how old were you? I was 17, so I was a good 17 years ago. You can throw a javelin 64 metres? Back then I could. I don't know about now. Wow.

So how old is that record, Cain? That's a pretty decent record. Close to 20 years now. No need to skype. We've got to get you back out there. We've got to get you back out there and see what your chops like. Cain, I'm a fellow record holder. I've still got the high jump record for the under 13s high jump back at the Granite Belt.

And look at you guys both still dining out on it as well. Oh mate, we're dying out on it. We'll live off the past. Kane, that we were at the prime of lime. It's all downhill from here. Yeah, prime of lime. Kane, your buzzer is tradie. Holly, yours is lady.

First of three correct answers gets 50 bucks cash from KFC and of course you both get candy squiggles. So good luck to both of you. Here we go, guys. Question number one. The Oscars are currently on right now. Who is hosting them this year?

Trady. Oh, yes, Kane. Is that Jimmy Kimmel? It is Jimmy Kimmel. Nice work, my friend. One point to the Tradys. Question number two. Which of these acts did not play in Auckland over the weekend?

My Chemical Romance, Snoop Dogg, Little Nas X or the Backstreet Boys? Yes, Kane. Oh, lady. Little Nas X. Wow. He is on fire. That's two to the tradies. You need this one here, Holly.

Question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. Lady. Yes, get in there, Holly. Question number three. Buzz in when you can tell me who sings this song. Ladies. Yes, get in there, Holly. Pitbull. Well done. Nice work, Holly. You're in the game.

One for the ladies, two to the tradies. Question number four. Typically, how many strings would you find on a ukulele? Tradie. Lady. Yes, Kane, for the win. Four. Well done.

He's on it. Mate. Trady. Lady. Yes, Kane, for the win. Four. Well done. He's on it. Mate, you might hold a new record here at Trady versus Lady. Yeah, well done. You don't need to brag about that one anymore. You are now an official Trady versus Lady champion, Kane. Yes, I'll hold that for 20 years. Yeah, hold on to that. 50 bucks from KFC and a packet of candy squiggles.

Congratulations. Nice work. Let's talk about the Oscars. The Oscars are on right now. The Oscars. And usually a bit like, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, a bunch of rich people. The Oscars is the one where last year Will Smith decided to slap Chris Rock

for making a joke about his wife. Correct. That is the Oscars. We're all interested. We're like, what are they going to do to top that? Yeah. That was such a ratings bonanza, that slap. What are they going to do to make it even more exciting?

We know what they have done this year. What have they done? They've put in place a crisis team in case it happens again. Can you imagine being on that team? Being like, right, who is our biggest threat for a slap this year? You'd have to. You'd have to do risk management and mitigation and go, okay, we're going to situate you over by...

It's probably why Ricky Gervais isn't hosting. You reckon he's slappable? Yeah, well, he pushes the boundaries. It is the job's host to push the boundaries a little bit. It is, 100%. And everyone's going, what are they going to say? How are they going to address it? You can't just pretend that the Will Smith assault

didn't happen at last year's Oscars. You have to talk about it. It's the elephant in the room. But at the same time, they don't want the whole night to be about that. No. Right? They want to celebrate movies and things like that.

Jimmy Kimmel was the host, and he addressed it straight away in his opening monologue. I think he did it quite well. We know this is a special night for you. We want you to have fun. We want you to feel safe. And most importantly, we want me to feel safe. So we have strict policies in place.

If anyone in this theatre commits an act of violence at any point during the show you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor and permitted to give a 19 minute long speech no but seriously the Academy has a crisis team in place if anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony, just do what you did last year. Nothing. Sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.

That's literally what happened. It's literally what happened. Remember we all didn't even know if it was real or not for like a couple of days? Yeah. It was 12 months ago today we were sitting here and we were broadcasting while it was happening. Nah, that can't be real.

It can't be real. Because we were talking to Dean McCarthy, our Hollywood correspondent, and he goes, Will Smith's just slapped somebody. Oh, I don't think it's real. I don't think it's real. No, I think it was a bit. I think it was a skit.

There is skits and bits like that. That happened at the Oscars. But that was not one of them. And then it was real. And then Because, I mean, there is skits and bits like that. That happened at the Oscars. Yeah. But that was not one of them. And then it was real. And then they, yeah, he's right. They gave him the award for best actor directly after that. And he got to stand up there and give a huge speech. Do you reckon a little part of him was like,

I really hope I don't win now? Because, like, it's really awkward for me now. I don't know. I don't know how self-aware he was feeling that night, to be honest. Anyway, Will Smith has banned from the Oscars for 10 years, so he won't be slapping anybody tonight. Well, he'll have to go

to all the other awards ceremonies that they have throughout the year. Do you reckon he's still invited to those? Probably. Do you reckon? There's a million of them. The Golden Globes are like, we'll have you. They're like, you can come back to us. You haven't been to us for a few years. You want to slap anybody?

We'll get them on stage for you. Whoever you want. We'll put them on the stage. We could get Will Smith here. Oh, my God. Let's get him. Do whatever it takes. Tim McCarthy will have an update for us in the latest about who's winning the big awards.

Who wins movie of the year? What do you think is going to be movie of the year? Oh, I don't even know what's nominated, if I'm honest. Avatar? Oh, yeah, of course that's nominated. Everything, everywhere, all the time? Yeah. Yeah, I literally watched that on the weekend.

I don't think I'm smart enough to understand it. Top Gun? You're smart enough for Top Gun? Yeah, I haven't seen it. You haven't seen Top Gun? Still haven't seen it. And I'm the movie person on this show. What am I doing?

Top Gun is the only movie I've seen in the last half an hour. Literally. Three times, Sue. Guys, we're about to do a bit of a trust fall. This has been a journey that I've been on over the last week because I've been in isolation. I had COVID, the spicy cough, and this thing has just entranced me. And I couldn't move away from it. I was like, I need to try this. And you haven't seen it, which is quite

shocking to me. You tell me there's some taste test involving a fruit roll up. Yeah. I know nothing about this. So a lot of people right now listening will know exactly what I'm talking about. It involves the classic fruit roll up. Can I, because you talked to me about the roll-up last week. Yeah. Do they still make them? So this is the thing. I looked everywhere because I saw this trend of what people are putting, they're putting a fruit roll-up with something and tasting it

and apparently it's amazing. And so I looked everywhere for roll-ups, could not find them, apparently not sold in New Zealand. But a company was so nice to send us some. If you want to try this, you can go to unitedsweets.co.nz. I thought they were not available in New Zealand anymore. Yeah, and so this company is a New Zealand company. They import them.

So you can get them from there if you want them. So they have sent us some roll-ups so we can try it. So essentially, it's pretty simple. You get an old school... I've got some more Invisalign to take out. Oh, that's... I really feel like eating food after watching that. Oh, they'll be out

very shortly. That makes me feel ill. I just can't look at it. All you have to do is take a classic fruit roll-up. So open your roll-up. Okay, yep. And just pull it out. Oh, the spring back memories. Oh, my God. You know, I've been waiting a week to try this.

Yeah. Oh, have you got a different flavour to me? Yeah, I've got a rainbow one. Oh, that doesn't matter. Okay, you've got a blue one? I've got a blue one. Doesn't matter. Okay.

Okay, and then spread out your roll-up so it lays flat and then get some ice cream, right? Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Now, look, I don't know how old this ice cream is. Yeah, this is the bit I'm concerned about. Bree just goes, hey, there's some freezer burn on the ice cream.

It looks about right. You don't even know where this ice cream came from. Nah, it's mystery ice cream. Found it in the work freezer. So put a big hunk of ice cream on your roll up. So you can do that. Or you want me to do it? No, I want the spoon.

Okay, there you go. I'm going to get the ice cream out with my hand. Okay. And then all you do is you like wrap the ice cream up like a little pillow. Okay. And you wait like a few seconds. And apparently the roll up is meant to like freeze. Yeah. It's like an ice cream roll-up dumpling situation.

Okay, so now I've just rolled it. I'm just going to let it sit there so it's not any warm. We're literally just making a ball out of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and just let it sit so hopefully it freezes. Oh, mine's getting real hard. But yeah, you can't hold it because your hands are warm. Okay. Okay, I think mine's nearly ready to go.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited. I've waited for a week and a half to try this, and if it's crap, I'm going to be right for it. Were we meant to use a specific type of ice cream? Did it matter? It doesn't really matter. Like a flavour or anything? I don't think it matters.

Does it matter? Nah. It's just more the texture and the combination. Yeah. Look at yours. Yours looks like a little ball sack or something. Hey! Okay, you ready? Should we try? Yeah. Oh at yours. Yours looks like a little ball sack or something. Hey. Okay, you ready?

Should we try? Yeah. Oh, it's gone quite hard. Yeah, that's what it's meant to do. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Three, two. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's so good. Oh, my God. It's my God, it's so good. Oh, my God, it's so good. It's so yum. It's going, like, crunchy. Yeah.

This is candy-covered ice cream. It's amazing. And, of course, roll-ups, they're made from real fruit, so this is technically... It's healthy. This is healthy. Bree and Clint. I saw something really interesting today

where the guys who wrote this song for Friends. The Rembrandts. The Rembrandts. Said the TV show ruined their career. Oh, come on, guys. The reason why that song was such a big hit is because of the TV show. So the Rembrandts are two guys from the States,

and they believe that in 1994 they were building popularity in the alternative music space. Right. In 94 it was all about being alternative. It's like you're in a post-Nirvana world, Pearl Jammer on the radio. You want to be cool. It's all about credibility. You want to pretend like you don't care what other people think.

You're there to make art. Exactly right, Brie. And for that reason, they reluctantly agreed to record the theme song to Friends. Fun fact, it's not just a song of theirs that the Friends show picked up. The show was co-written between them, the Rembrandts, and David Crane and Marsha Kaufman, the people who created Friends. See, I didn't know that.

I thought it was just one of their songs. Me too. That then was used. Me too. Yeah, right. No. They stipulated that they did not want to be named in the credits of Friends.

Why? Because they didn't want anyone to know that they had sold out. Quote, unquote, sold out. How much did they sell out for? Is there any details around how much money they would make? No, it's not public, but they do still get paid every time an episode of Friends airs anywhere in the world.

They would have made a good amount of money then. One of the guys said... More than what their alternative music career would have made, I'd say. Well, yeah, he said that the song put his kids through college and bought him a nice house. Yeah. Which is a decent way to look at it for one song. That you literally could get away with never performing ever again

because it's already on the TV show. It's good to go. That song that ruined their career reached the top ten in Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Ireland, the UK. It was number one in Canada for five weeks. It was the most successful single of 1995.

Wow. In the United States, it topped the Billboard Hot 100 airplay chart for eight weeks in a row, but it ruined their career. Oh, yeah. Ruined it. Well, let's put it to the test then. Let's play some other Rembrandt songs and see if we're like, oh, yeah, this is good. That's a really good point, Brie.

Have we been overlooking the vast Rembrandt's back catalogue all this time and only focusing on the Friends theme? Maybe. Okay, so there's the one that we all know. I'll be there for you. When the Friends theme. Maybe. Okay, so there's one that we all know. I love that song because I associate it with the show that has so many great memories. Well, if you love that song, you're going to love

the Rembrandts just the way it is, baby. Things have changed and Baby. Yeah. Welcome back. When do we do the clapping? Yeah, where's the clapping part of this song? Okay, what else have they got? I've got one more.

What about the Rembrandt hit song, Someone? But everything's changed since the day that I found Someone to hold me the way that you do Someone who needs me the way I need you Again, when does the clap come in? Kind of has like a Savage Garden, if you bought them on Wish vibe. Breathless. Okay, you know, under that, what about this one right here? Oh, I like this.

I recognise this one right here? Oh, I like this. I recognise this one. This song. Banger. This song right here. Banger. This ruined their career. Ruined it. What could have been?

Could have been. Stupid friends. Bree and Clint. Right now we're asking you, did you have an underwhelming proposal? You know, and maybe it was you that did the proposing and you can put your hand up

and say, yeah, look, I didn't put much thought into it. Someone has texted into it that they did offer an underwhelming proposal, but they said it was for a good reason. Right. Okay.

They said, I proposed to my now wife on the way to KFC. Shout out KFC show sponsor. Sounds like a very romantic proposal to me. I panicked as we have a shared bank account and I didn't want her to see the money in the account gone that I spent on the ring. Of course.

She said yes and I got an extra bucket of chicken. I mean, everyone wins. Everyone wins. Everyone wins. That doesn't sound underwhelming at all. No, it sounds like a good proposal. Jamie's does though. Hi, Jamie. Hi, Jamie. Are you there? Yep.

Oh, hi. Jamie, tell us, was it your proposal that was underwhelming? Yes. What happened? What happened? So, we're dairy farmers. Okay. Oh, he didn't hide the ring in a cow pet, did he? No.

Or in a cow. In a cow. Just dangling off one of the udders. You need to go find it. So one of those 250 cows. If you can find it, we'll get married. Sorry, Jamie. Please tell us your story.

That's right. He was home for lunch. I was still in my pyjamas. I was babysitting my nieces and nephews. And it was like five minutes before he had to go back to lunch. He came out with a box and was like, should we get married? Want to marry me?

And I was like, what a shit way to propose. Did you give it to him, Jamie, I hope? Were you like, come on? Oh, I still do to this day. I'm like, oh my God, can I get a better proposal? But it was just kind of like, okay. And then he jumped on his bike

and went off back to work. Have you ever told him or made him realise that the day he proposed to you, he spent more time with the cows than he did with you? Oh, always. Oh, Jamie, you poor bugger.

Hiding it in a cow's not looking so bad now, is it? A bit of mystery about it. Put a bit more thought into it. Hey, Jamie, for getting on here, you've won yourself some candy squiggles. Congratulations. Nice work, Jamie. We'll get those out to you. I love this text so much. I'm going to say one of my favourite texts for a long time.

They said, On one evening after a night out, my then boyfriend asked me to marry him whilst he was on the toilet with the door open. I was appalled and told him to ask again when he was off the bog and sober. Been married 21 years now but still give him shit. Excuse the pun. That's exactly what we were talking about.

You can tell them to do it again. Can you imagine? You're sitting on the dunny and you're like, hey. What part of that moment took you, eh? Yeah. What in what world did you think? This is what I'll get her. This is the time.

Holly's here. Hi, Holly. Hi, Holly. Hi, Holly. Hi, guys. Tell us your underwhelming proposal story. My now ex, he forgot my birthday, and I told him that it was my birthday, and he asked me to drop him off at the jeweler's

and park up the road. So I did. Okay. And then he jumped in the car and proposed to me and I looked up and I was looking at BP gas station and I cried my eyes out and said, you know, like, we'll get married if I'm still with you when I'm 21 because I didn't know how to say like...

Wait, how old were you in this story? I would have been 18 Jesus Christ Oh my god you're so young This guy's tried to tried to massively

overcorrect for forgetting your birthday by proposing to you outside BB Yeah He's like babe if you say yes

I'll buy the premium fuel Well back then that wasn't as expensive as it is Yeah, not as impressive So not as impressive If you say yes, I'll buy the premium fuel. Well, back then, gas wasn't as expensive as it is today. Yeah, not as impressive. So not as impressive. Holly, thank God you guys didn't get married. We've got some candy squiggles for you. Congratulations. Oh, thank you, guys.

Nice work, Holly. Poor thing. Do you want to hear a really sweet text just to finish it off? Yeah. Someone said, I proposed sitting on the couch to... Okay, let me read it how it's written. I proposed sitting on the couch, known her since we were five, and we're

60 this year. We've been married 37 years. We were just kids back then, but I loved her and I knew she was the one, my absolute soulmate from Craig. Cute. Five years old. How do you break that one to her dad? Imagine a five-year-old going up to the dad.

Can I marry your daughter? Can I have a word? Ask me again in 20 years. Bree and Clint. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint. Birthday banger.

All right, your birthday bangers. Birthday bangers for the people. You call us up, tell us your birthday. We mix it all together in the system and tell it your... Keep going. Tell you the number one song on your 16th birthday. She got there. And...

If you get on here, you get free candy squiggles today. So it's a good time to call and Alicia has done that. G'day, mate. Hello. How's your weekend, Alicia? Very, very busy. Really busy? Why?

Just working and community show and family stuff. A lot on. A lot on. Well, you're here now and we're keen to figure out your birthday, Banger. What's your birthday? 11th of October, 1984. Alright, mate. You were 16 in the year 2000

and on your 16th birthday, this would have been number one. Vintage Christina. From her first album. She wasn't even ex-Tina at, you make me Vintage Christina. From her first album. She wasn't even X-Tina at this stage. No. She was still Christina.

This was pre-X-Tina. She was still a genie in the bottle at this stage. Yeah, yeah. Are you into it, Alicia? Do you like Christina Aguilera? Yeah, that was the jam. Yeah, banger.

Okay, cool. That had the vibes just then for me. Wait there, we're going to do Reed, who's going to do it for their mum, Sarah.

Hi, Reid. G'day, Reid. Hello, how are you doing? Are you just calling up so you can get the candy squiggles? Maybe. Yeah. Hey, you're smart. And you've got them.

You've won the candy squiggles. But while you're here, let's figure out your mum's birthday. Banger, what's her birthday? So, my mum was born on 20th November 1968. Okay, perfect. Okay, that means... Sorry, I've got totally different information here. Completely different.

So that means your mum was... When did you say she was born? 20th November 1968. 1968, which means she was 16 in 1984. And on your mum's 16th birthday, this would have been number one. We saved it. Banger. Wham.

Reid, Sarah, are you guys into it? That was my favourite song. Really? Yeah. Amazing. Everyone wins. Love that. We're going to do one more birthday banger for Bailey.

Hi, Bailey. Hi, Bailey. Hiya, how are you? Hi, we're good. We're getting there for a Monday, Bailey. How's your Monday going? Oh, it's going well. Just work and study.

Boring one. What are you studying? Marketing. Okay. A lot of jobs in marketing. What are you studying? Marketing. Okay. A lot of jobs in marketing. Everyone needs to have some marketing. How do you know? It's the last time you searched.

Oh, yeah. It's on the rise. Bailey knows. She's backing me up. Yeah, I know how to market things. Bailey, what's your birthday? The only market you know is the market fish. My birthday is on the 20th of November as well.

Oh, okay. Oh, amazing. That's probably the correct data you've got. 20th of November, 2002. Okay. We do have the right data for you, Bailey. And you were 16 in 2018. And, mate, here's your birthday banger. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ari. And mate, here's your birthday banger. Ari. An absolute huge hit. What do you think, Bailey? Can't go wrong with Tamari. Can't go wrong.

That album was incredible. Wait there, we've got a vote between Ariana Grande, wham, and Christina Aguilera. I'm voting for that Christina Aguilera song. Me too. Like 100%. 100%. As soon as it came on. and Christina Aguilera. I'm voting for that Christina Aguilera song. Me too. A hundred percent. As soon as it came on. Alicia,

free candy squiggles for you and the birthday banger title. Congratulations. Let's get into it. Brian Clements. Get out those chaps. No, she wasn't

in the chaps yet. Doesn't mean we can't put on the chaps early. Brian Clements from the year 2000. You're on ZM. Brie and Clint. ZM, Brie and Clint, that's Christina Aguilera. That's the winner of Birthday Banger today for Alicia from the year 2000.

Guys, I'm nervous because I forgot about this until right now. And it's a big moment for me. Don't be nervous. This is your big new idea. Yeah, I know. True, true. I need to back myself. And I thought...

Confidence is key when you're launching a new segment. It is. And I'm launching a new segment this afternoon. This could make or break it. But I'm hoping that this is a segment that lives on for a number of weeks. Oh, weeks. You're giving it a lifespan of weeks. Months.

I mean, years. Years. I mean, it could go for years. We want this to be the new birthday banger. I don't think it's got years in it. You don't know. Yeah, you never know. You never know.

So the idea is, and I wish we had some production, which maybe next week, that'll boost it up. But the idea is obviously, you know, a play on words. The segment I'm calling Only Dans. If you know, you know. You wanted production. Whoa. Look out, things are. You wanted production. Whoa. Look out.

Things are really taking off on our show. Here's the idea. So, obviously, we all know that popular website, app, whatever it's called. OnlyFans. OnlyFans. My idea, OnlyDans, has nothing to do with that. It's just fun to say.

Yeah. And what I want... There's no nudity required in this. No, no. What has nothing to do with that. It's just fun to say. Yeah. And what I want There's no nudity required in this segment. No, no. What I want to happen, this is the idea. For this segment I want only Dan's to call. Your name can be like around the name Dan Daniel, Dan, Danny

Danielle, Danifer Danica Danica. Yesica. Danica. Yes, as long as you have the name Dan somewhere in your name, we will take it. Yep. And I need you to call 0800 DIAL ZM, but here's the key. If you want to derail the segment and your name isn't Dan,

you can also call. You can destroy the only Dan segment. Exactly. But I believe people won't. I believe people who listen to this show, people who listen to this show will play the game. Yes. And they will help us achieve a full board of Dans.

So that's the key. They will. They will. The only way we're going to achieve victory in this segment is if we receive all calls with only Dan's. All six lines need to be filled with Dan's. All six. We need six

Dan's. If there's one person that skips through the line and your name isn't Dan, you've derailed the segment. We try again next week. Let's give it a go. 0800 dial ZDM Dan's, Daniel's, denica's daniel's dan theas denifers i really want a denifer denskas any anyone with that name but like we said if you want to derail

it that is up to you that's why we call it Only Dance. 0800 dials it in. We'll play one song and we'll come back. Can we get a full board of Only Dance? That is the key. Bree and Clint. I've just launched a new segment idea. I don't know how it's going to go, but I'm calling this one Only Dance. It's a real simple premise, Clint.

We've asked Only Dan's to call 0800 DIAL ZM, and that's anyone with the name Dan in their name. No, at the start of their name. At the start of their name. Yeah, at the start of their name. We're not accepting Andrea. No, no. But Danielle's, Daniel's, Dan's, Danny's, Danica's,

anyone with Dan at the start. Will you accept a Dana? Oh, add a push. Add a push. D-A-N. And so the only way we can win this segment is if we get a full board of calls, which is six lines. Six Dan's.

So six Dan's. But we have also invited any of you that want to derail the segment. If you woke up and chose violence this afternoon, then that's up to you. People, I have faith in people, and I believe they'll help us achieve our goal. They'll help this floundering new segment get off the ground. They won't derail us on the first day.

If it was me, it would bring me so much joy to call up and derail the segment. Are you ready for that? I'm ready. Let's go. Let's play Only Dan. Alright. Caller number one, please start us off strong.

What is your name? Kia ora. My name's Danika. Danika! We will take it, Danika. Okay, Danika, I'm going to need you to stay on the line with us because you could be part of the first successful Only Dans. Exactly. Okay, stayica, I'm going to need you to stay on the line with us because you could be part of the first successful OnlyDans. Exactly.

Okay, stay with us. You can put that on your LinkedIn, Danica. Let's go to caller number two. What's your name? Danielle. Danielle! We got a Danielle! Welcome aboard the OnlyDans train, Danielle.

Thank you. You good to stay with us, Danielle? All good. Hang on the line. Let's go to caller number three. Caller number three, what is your name? Hi, my name's Danielle

too. We'll take it. Two Danielle's. Welcome aboard. Okay. Can we name these guys? Because we're getting a lot of variation in here. This is going well so far. Two Danielle's and a Danica. Yeah. And only Dan's.

No Daniel's. No Daniel's. There's still room. We can go anywhere from here. Maybe Daniel isn't the most popular variety of Dan. Exactly. Okay, we are at the halfway point. It's a good start, but it means nothing.

Caller number four, please state your name for us. Third Danielle. Third Danielle. Third Danielle. Danielle. I love the Danielle community. They're really holding up this only Dan segment right now. Thank you for calling. Danielle, do your friends ever refer to you as Dan?

Just say yes, Danielle. They don't know which Danielle I'm talking to. Just stick with us. Just stick with us. Just stick with us. That's fine. We've got four Dans in the only Dans the first time we've done it. It only takes one person to ruin this. It only takes one person to derail the whole thing.

We're looking for six. We go to Dan number five. Hello, call number five. What's your name? Kia ora. My name's Danny. Danny? That counts. I can't believe this. Surely not.

No one has called yet to derail the Only Dan segment. Danny, thank you for calling. That is five. Our five Dans, are you still with us? Yep. Yep. Guys, you could be a part of the very first Only Dance.

Okay, here we go. Are you ready for this? I don't know if I am. I didn't think it would work. Okay. Let's bring them on. Caller number six. Caller number six.

Hey, team. Hi. Hi. We're good. We're good. There's a lot of pressure on you right now. I'm feeling it. We're pretty excited.

I can tell from your voice you're a genuine guy. You wouldn't do this to us. The first time we've done this segment, only Dan's. We've got five. We need six. Call the number six.

Rightio. What is your name? My name is Richard. Damn you, Richard! Sorry, team. Had to be that guy, didn't I? A literal dick. A literal dick has come through to ruin only Dan's...

You bloody dick. You're living up to my name. Nah, Richard, can I just say, I rate that. I rate it. Good on ya. All right, five Dans and a dick. You all have a good afternoon today. See you, Dans and Richard.

Thanks, Dan. Bye, guys. Thank you. See you. It was so close. The first go, only Dans. You know what that means? It comes back next week.

Do we stick with Dan? We can go with only Sam. Brie and Clint. I want to talk to you about this new law that's coming into effect in Germany Brie Yeah I have heard murmurs Yeah But is it like a big change? Yeah fairly big change

Okay Affects you more than it affects me Alright In fact it's really just levelling the playing field It's giving you the privileges that I have enjoyed for decades Okay Since the dawn of time Wait there's a pay increase? the privileges that I have enjoyed for decades. Okay. Since the dawn of time.

Wait, there's a pay increase? Oh, I wish I didn't laugh so hard at that. Ray, this was your laugh just then. That's right. How could you say something so ridiculous No Berlin's authorities have ruled That Women

Will soon be allowed to swim topless In the city's public pools I heard about this Yes I saw that this was happening Someone made a complaint like last year And they've changed the law. They changed the law.

They said that authorities have agreed that women have been the victims of discrimination and decided that all visitors to Berlin pools would be entitled to bear their boobies if they wish to do so. Well, there you go. There you go. Hashtag free the nip. Hashtag literally. Literally.

Free the nip. Yeah. Question. It's kind of interesting because a lot of like female bathing suits and togs are kind of centered around, you know, having to cover the top part. Yeah. So I wonder what like, do you just wear the bottom part of the bikini and be done with it? Yeah, that would do it.

Yeah. Or you could just rock some boardies like we do. True. We could rip out. You could have your boxer shorts sticking out the top of your boardies like we do. We could rip out. Remember the long board shorts that people used to wear? Yeah.

What did they used to call them? Knee swingers. They were so ugly. Yeah. So that's Germany. And they're obviously coming into their summer So it's going to affect them We while off yet

So time to get it through Parliament is all I'm saying If you're interested, if you wanted to Yeah, like I mean I'm all for it I'm just like if you do what you want to do I think Like be free if that's what makes you feel comfortable Go for it I have such embedded tan lines that it would take years.

Like I'm talking years to build up, you know, because if I wore no swimming top for the pool, I would get third degree burns on areas that would not be a good time. Parts of your body that haven't seen the sun since you were seven years old. Well, something to think about, isn't it? Yeah. Something to think about anyway. It is something to think about. Maybe I'll start tanning

my areolas in the backyard. Yep, and if you want to do that, that's far from me to pass judgment on that. I'm going to say right here on the fence where I belong. Especially after that. Sorry. That was so funny.

Sam Smith. Have you seen this woman who's making 50 grand a month on OnlyFans because she... Scott, is this whole hour going to be about OnlyFans? We just did OnlyDance and now we're moving into more OnlyFans content. Well, don't point it out, okay? We didn't think about this when we put the show together, did we? No, obviously not. So this woman's making 50 grand a month on OnlyFans. That's good money. Because

she looks like Megan Fox. Okay. Yeah. Right, so she's literally just kind of riding Megan Fox's coattails. Correct. And playing on that And going for the market that goes, man, I wish Megan Fox's coattails. Correct. And playing on that fact. And going for the market that goes, man, I wish Megan Fox was on this app. And she's like, I will fill that void.

I'll fill that gap, yeah. 50 grand a month is 600 grand a year. That's wild. For OnlyFans content because you look like Megan Fox. Her name's Taylor Ryan. Who do you think you could go on OnlyFans impersonating? Oh, we've talked about this. Who would it be?

Ricky Gervais. Ricky Gervais' brother. Yeah. I reckon you could make a solid point. Who's looking to get OnlyFans content of Ricky Gervais? Hey, don't... He already uploads his bath samples. Don't yuck people's yums.

We said that last week. You know... Alright, set up the account. Set up the account. If I make 600 grand a year, I'll do it. Exactly. Her name's Taylor Ryan. She's 25. She's from Devon in England. She's been on the app for five years. She only just realised that this Megan Fox thing is the way to go. That this is the cash cow.

I need to see what this bird looks like now. Yes, you do. Because I... Yes, do. Because I mean, how much do you need to look like her for it to be a thing? So I haven't shown Bree the pictures yet. Like I could say, I look like Jennifer Lawrence. You could say that, yeah. And have that as my stick. Correct. You know?

Yeah. It's about how much you need to look like it. Yeah. So this will show you. If you look this much like Megan Fox, you might look this much like Megan Fox. I'm going to give her a rating from one to ten. Yeah.

One being she looks nothing like Megan Fox. Yeah. And ten being it looks like her identical twin sister. Perfect. Okay, Brie has not seen these pictures yet. Claudia, please bring up the fake Megan Fox. Perfect. Okay, Brie has not seen these pictures yet. Claudia, please bring up the fake Megan Fox. I mean, she's a pretty girl. She's gorgeous.

She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. Does she look like Megan Fox? I'm going to say it's a solid three. She looks like if Madame Tussauds did a Megan Fox. And they kind of got close. And they kind of got close. And they kind of got it. You know how some of them are good and some of them are...

But then it got a bit hot in LA one day. You know? She looks great as her. The Megan Fox thing... Oh, she's a 10 out of 10 just as her. But in terms of looking like Megan Fox, she doesn't look much like her. One fan paid her $500 to film herself in a pair

of Daisy Jukes opening the bonnet of a car, just like Megan Fox did in Transformers. How much? $500. Jeez. Why did you do that when there's already footage of the real Megan Fox doing it? You know who looks like Megan Fox. You can go get that in HD

quality. Megan Fox. Anyway, Taylor Ryan, if you're looking for a new OnlyFans account. Bree and Clint. Thank you so much for joining us. I want to go watch some Oscars highlights. I want to see Brendan Fraser's whole speech. Yeah, same here. I want to see Lady Gaga's performance.

Yeah, did you see she went full, just kind of stripped down, normal clothes, no makeup. Yeah, it's like an anti-Oscars. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I love it too, but it's interesting that she would have spent six hours in the makeup chair getting ready to hit the red carpet. Six hours? What, more or less? Less. Oh. I don't reckon it would have taken six. Really? I reckon they sit for six hours. Makeup chair, getting ready to hit the red carpet. Six hours? What, more or less? Less.

Oh. I don't reckon it would have taken six. Really? I reckon they sit for six hours. By the time they, because that dress will be all fitted to her and she'll have to, surely the whole glam squad thing takes that long. Six hours is a long time. I'd be so over it. But she did, my point is she did it and she hit the red carpet and she was there.

I think she would have to go and wipe it all off to go and do that other performance. That's the point, Clint. It was not just, it was making a statement. She made a statement. Yes. Yeah. Well, I want to see that statement. Yeah, me too.

I'm going to go watch it. Have a great night, everybody. We'll catch you back tomorrow on the Brian Clint Show. See you later. Bye, guys. Bye, guys.