ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast - 14th December 2023

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Who are you most likely to date next year?  Love Actually phone-a-thon: When did you put your foot in it?  Unorthodox funerals.  Most streamed Christmas songs.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. ZM, Brie and Clint. Hi everybody and welcome to the Brie and Clint show where there's 11 sleeps till Christmas. Not many to go, not many to go. 11 sleeps till the big fat man comes down your chimney and gives you presents. Kids, here's my advice. This is when you have to be good. Yeah. This is the time that counts. Leaven days out, this is when it counts.

You're at home all day because you're on school holidays. If you're good now, if you're good from now, Santa will come. Whatever you've done throughout the year. Trust me, I tested it. Yeah, absolutely. I've tested it for many, many years. She's not wrong. Yeah. She's not wrong. In fact, you can probably start tomorrow.

Like if you want to do something really bad this afternoon, I reckon you can probably get away with tomorrow. Ten sleeps out. Yeah. I think just go with ten. Yeah. The big man, Santa, he's pretty forgiving. Yeah.

Or just repent on Christmas Eve, you know, just ask for forgiveness, pray for forgiveness, pray to Santa Claus for forgiveness on Christmas Eve. That's what most of us do, just like a deathbed confession, right? Santa's good. He's a good guy. Don't worry about it. He's very reasonable. Yeah, he's very reasonable.

What do we have on the show today? We've got $150 up for grabs with What's the Plot? Yeah, we're going to play that at 4.30. If you can outguess Brie in our movie plot game, you can have that $150 cash. You sure can. You can also have $50 cash right now if you're the winner of Tradie vs. Lady. You've got to call, you've got to play,

you've got to win. 0800 DIAL ZM right now if that's you. Bree and Clint. Time for a round of Tradie vs. Lady. It's Tradie vs. Lady. Three, two, one, let's go. Here we are, the Tradies versus the Ladies, going head to head as per usual. The Tradies on 106, the Ladies on 113.

We're going all the way to Timaru for our lady today. She's 29 years old and she doesn't like it when the wet shower curtain touches her leg. Ugh, who does? Welcome to the show, Lauren. G'day, Lauren. Are you living in a rental or your own home at the moment? Own home. Mate, why don't you get rid of the shower curtain?

Yeah, bathroom's on our to-do list at the moment. Yes. That'll be the first thing to go, right, Lauren? Definitely, yeah. Okay, you're taking on our tradie today. They're from Auckland, they're 26, and they once played basketball with David Seymour. Welcome to the Definitely, yeah. Okay, you're taking on our tradie today. They're from Auckland. They're 26. And they once played basketball with David Seymour. Welcome to the show, Cameron.

Hey, how you doing? G'day, Cameron. What was David Seymour's best shot? Oh, well, he won us the game with a three-throw. No! Did he? Really? He did, he did.

God, so he's a better basketballer than he is a dancer then. Cameron, your buzzer is tradie. Lauren, your buzzer is lady. First to three points gets the $50 cash thanks to KFC. Good luck. Here we go, guys. Question number one. It's 11 sleeps till Christmas.

What is the plant that you traditionally kiss beneath at Christmas? Yes, Lauren. Mistletoe. Mistletoe. Of course, mistletoe. Can be a little bit creepy when your uncle is putting it up around the house. Question number two. One to the ladies.

How many reindeer does Santa have in total? Lady. Yes, Lauren. Is it 13? Great guess, but no. Cameron? I'll go with 12. Also incorrect.

The answer actually is nine. Ah. Because Rudolph is out in front. Yeah, that's right. And then he's got four on each side. Question number three. Hugh Grant plays the Prime Minister in which Christmas classic? Yes, Lauren.

Love Actually. God, she's on fire. That's two to the ladies. You need this one, Cameron, to stay in the game. Question number four. What are the two main colours on Santa's belt? Tradies. Yes, Cameron.

Black and gold. Black and gold is correct. Nice work. He's on the board. Two to the ladies, one to the tradies. Question number five. Which diva wrote and sang the song All I Want for Christmas? Lady.

Yes, Lauren, for the win. Mariah Carey. She's got it. Mariah Carey. She's a lady. Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady. Lauren, that 50 bucks can go towards a new shower screen. Oh, heck yes. Hell yeah. Well done, mate. Congratulations. You're

our tradie versus lady champion. Awesome. Thank you. Nice work. Merry Christmas. Hell yeah. Well done, mate. Congratulations. You're our Tradiverse Lady Champion. Awesome. Thank you. Nice work. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Lauren. And Merry Christmas to you too, Cameron, even though you hung up the second that Lauren was crowned champion.

Cameron. Cameron. Cameron. Cameron. Merry Christmas, Cameron. Merry Christmas, Cameron. Bree and Clint. ZM Bree and Clint, that's no can.

It's stick season. It really sneaks up on you these radio breaks What does stick season mean? I told you What? We talked about it Best time to What? Find sticks No, it's autumn

It's that bit in autumn when all the leaves have fallen off the trees Well that's right, I guessed that eh? Yeah Man, you've got the memory of a goldfish I really do Can you find the bit where I told her that like four days ago? Stick season. And she guessed it correctly.

And then can you stitch that with this moment that's just happened here? Don't worry about it. I'm going to forget this moment next week. I'm going to forget this moment tomorrow. Okay. This story involves vomit, spew, chunder. Can I just say I'm one of those people that avoids spewing, tries not to spew.

One of my worst, as a kid, I feel like spewing was one of my biggest fears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that same for you? God, I hated spewing. This is about a woman who has been spewed on. That's even worse. Even worse. There's a woman in the States who's gone on social media

to complain about a vomiting passenger that was on her plane. Oh, no. Worst nightmare. Confined space. Hell no. The air's just going round and round and round. The woman in the seat directly in front of her, who she thinks was actually drunk when she got on the plane.

So wait, in front of her. So the seat in front of her. She spewed so much that the spew went into the woman behind's handbag that was stowed beneath the seat in front of her. I'd be moving. That's the first thing I'd move. Yeah, I think it all happened pretty fast. She had to put it under there for take off

and then this lady was like She's like, where's my wallet? It was not just on her handbag, it was in her handbag. She spew bag, more like it. She asked the cabin crew to help her

clean it up. They're like, you shouldn't have let her on the plane. Can you help me clean this up? If she was drunk, then no. And they said they were unable to fix the mess because it was deemed to be bodily fluids. So what's she meant to do then? Grin and bear it.

And then carry her dirty handbag off. The woman he spewed should clean it up. Yeah, but how? You never want to get this. This is the problem with a spewer, especially a drunk spewer. They're not the person to be cleaning it up. Hell no. They should be. They never clean up.

They're the last person that you actually want cleaning it up. Yeah, that's so true. They'll probably slip over in it and make it worse. The one that should be cleaning it up never actually cleans it up. The airline said, that's bodily fluids. We can't touch that. Sorry. This is an airline in the States, by the way,

in case you couldn't tell from the impeccable accent. They did offer the woman who had her handbag spewed in some compensation, though. What was the compensation? A $50 travel voucher for her next flight. That's such a slap in the face. She didn't take it. Instead, she went on social media and posted about it. Yeah, I'd rather do that.

100%. Stick your $50 voucher up your bum. Yeah, that's nothing. Like a $50 travel voucher to an airline would be zero. Zero. It wouldn't cost them a thing. No. Remember that time I told you, it was like maybe last year

and I was on one of the really small rural flights around New Zealand, the ones that have the propellers. The regional flights. The regional flights and it's got the two seats on one side of the plane and the two seats on the other side of the plane. My worst nightmare, because it's a small plane, and I was sitting on the window seat, and then there was someone next to me in the aisle seat, and then there was a woman in the aisle seat across,

but in the same lane, like the same aisle as us. And from the moment we took off, this woman, like, threw up the entire flight. They just kept bringing her more bags and she just kept filling them up, filling them up. The worst thing you can do is let that person run out of bags. I couldn't look at her. The whole plane should have been passing their bags

forward just to make it. As soon as I see someone and I smell it, I'll start going. So I was just like, don't look at her, don't look at her. But the whole flight I could hear this poor woman just like throwing up her entire life. I know this is on the nose and I know it'll make some people squeamish, but can we open the phone lines just for one break to get people's spew slash vomit nightmare stories?

Did you get spewed on? My dad used to... Did you do the spew in a really awkward situation? You know? When we were kids, my dad used to catch our spew in his hands. Oh. A lot of dads would know that. Oh, yeah.

Would know that technique. Yeah. When we all had a spew bug. Yeah. All I remember is eating a whole punnet of strawberries and my dad comes running in at like two in the morning. I go, Dad, I'm going to be sick. He goes, do it in here.

Puts out his hands. I'd rather rinse my hands off than clean the carpet. 100%. To be honest. Oh, $800 at M, or you can text your stories to 9696. I know it's gross, but let's get through it together. Bree and Clint. Grab the family popcorn and chippy bowl slash spew bowl,

because we're going to talk about spew nightmare stories. It was always that wood, that cheap wood bowl. The pressed wood bowl, yeah. The one that you would have the chips in and then... And then you realise how gross it is. And then as you grow up, you realise that you have that bowl in your house too. The spew slash snack bowl.

Oh, we've all got the spew bowl. Yeah, and you have snacks out of it. Yeah. I feel like we go from all the bucket and then we also maybe soak clothes in that bucket. Yeah, bucket's a good idea. A lady who was on a flight, the passenger in front of her threw up so much that it went into her handbag. Oh, that's so yuck.

It is so gross. So we want to know this afternoon, can you top it? What's your spew nightmare story? Jessica's here. Hi, Jessica. Hi, Jess. Hi. Hi.

You're in a safe space. Can you tell us your spew nightmare story? So I was about 20 going clubbing for the first time. I went with my mum and some friends. Obviously got quite intoxicated. With your mum? Yeah, with my mum. My mum's like a party animal from way back.

She's like nearly 60 and she still goes clubbing. Okay, love it. Fun. Yeah, love that for her. So, yeah, I goes clubbing. Okay, love it. Fun. Love that for her. So yeah, I went clubbing with them and she thought she'd sober me up by buying me a pizza. The only place that sold pizzas was a local nightclub that only had speakers for seating.

Okay. So we were around the dance floor. I was sitting on the speakers whilst waiting for my pizza and I proceeded to vomit all over the dance floor. Oh, no. That's a hazard. And then just to make matters worse, I leaned or looked towards my mum to say,

I'm so sore. And then mid-sorry, I vomited all over her. It's chunder on the dance floor. You better not spill your guts. Do you think it was the vibration of the speaker that maybe brought it to the surface? Is that what it did? Yeah, I definitely think so.

And it's safe to say that 12, no, what are we now? Yeah, 12 years later, I'm still not living it down for my mother. Yeah, the speaker or the seven tequila shots that you had, Jessica. Hard to pinpoint which one it was. Hard to pinpoint. Let's go to Chysa on 0800. Hi, Jessica? Hard to pinpoint which one it was. Hard to pinpoint. Let's go to Chysa on 0800. Hi, Chysa. Hi, Chysa.

Hi, how are you? Good, thanks. Tell us, mate, what was the nightmare spew story you got? So we decided to take two older kids on their first flight to Wellington just recently. Okay. And not long after takeoff, this guy behind us, we could hear him making all these awful sounds.

And then all of a sudden he just spewed everywhere, all through his hands. It was splashing over the seats. Oh. It was so awkward. You didn't even want to turn around to see what was happening because you knew what was going on. I never look.

I never look. You don't look. It's over once you look. And his wife just didn't even seem at all fazed. She was just looking out at the viewer. I was just like, give the guy a bag, honestly. Or a handy towel. Yeah, where's the bag for him?

Was he just spewing into the bloody entertainment unit? Sometimes when you put your hand over it. It was everywhere. Yeah. It was everywhere. Yeah. It was everywhere. It's like, oh, you poor guy. I would have just got my shoes.

I don't know what I want. But even the guy next to him, no one wants to help. A shoe or something. Often putting your hand over your mouth makes it worse because it, like, pressurises it. It makes it like a garden sprayer, eh? Oh, it was so bad. And now we're getting home at Christmas and my kids are like, are we serious?

Are we going on another flight? We don't want to do that again, Mum. Thanks, Chisa. We appreciate it. Thanks, Chisa. Yeah, thanks, guys. Do you reckon that I feel like for me as a person, I know when I truly love someone if I can watch them spew

and I don't get the ick? Okay, you can hold their hair back and stuff. Yeah, that's when I know that it's true love. That's the test, yeah. Because for me, spewing makes me feel like so... That's why on a third date, Brie gets her dates absolutely wasted. So she can take...

Don't worry, she gets wasted too. It's not like a taking advantage thing. She just wants them to start spewing for the test. No, we're not talking about that? No. No? Sorry, that was an off-air conversation. Why did it sound predatory when you said it?

I know, I know. I'm not even the one that did it. That's not a true story, by the way, if anyone's thinking that I actually do that. Yeah, not a true story. Zara's here. Hi, Zara. Hi, Zara.

Hello, hi. Hello, hi. Tell us, Zara, what's the Nightmare Spews story? Well, it was my son's first touch game. He's only just turned six, so he's five this year. And we were on our way to his game, and he said, oh, I've got a bit of a sore tummy, Mum. And I said, oh, it's probably just nerves.

Yeah, yeah. It's all right, darling. And he seemed fine, so he was really excited. And then he played the first half, and then he ended up running off the field with his, just looking a bit like, he looked like he might have hurt himself. I had my arms, I was sitting on the ground on the grass.

I had my arms out waiting for him to come running. So I was like, oh, come here, my darling. Come here. Yeah. And then as soon as he caught to me, he just released. What, he vomited on the field? No. No, he vomited on me.

On her. She was like this, arms up, sitting on the ground. My face, my chest, my legs. Was your mouth closed? Please tell me it was closed. No, my mouth wasn't closed. It was open. Did you ever say, oh, my darling.

I ended up getting it in my mouth. I had to, because I just didn't want any chain reaction after this I just kind of picked him and I up no one had wipes all the other mothers were shocked they didn't know what to do either he wanted to go back on the field because he started to feel a lot

it makes me feel so ill it got in your mouth it got in my mouth and I ended up actually swallowing it oh ok alright Zara Zara It got in your mouth It got in my mouth And I bet she swallowed it Oh okay alright Zara Zara Zara

Come on man What No Who I've had to put Zara on hold No Too far Too far

Mum's right I'm going to think about that tonight As I'm trying to sleep I'm going to be like Oh remember Zara When she to sleep. I'm going to be like, oh, remember Zara when she said that her son spewed in her mouth and she goes, oh, swallowed it. Let's talk about

baby names. The trends, not me, but the trends are here for next year. They always release what they think the trends are going to be moving forward for the next year. Do you know how they predict these? For this particular one, I

do. So apparently some of the most popular baby names for next year, experts reckon, are going to come from the catwalks. Oh, okay. So big fashion houses like Valentino, Alexander McQueen, those fancy brands, are all adding So big fashion houses like Valentino, Alexander McQueen,

those fancy brands are all adding different blooms to their catwalks. So it's all about flowers and blooms and floral. Flower power. Flower power for 2024. So there's baby name pros. There's people who do this for a living where they predict what the trends are going to be. They predict that florals will become a go-to for parents in 2024 when naming their kids. Yeah.

So do you want to go through some of the names that they think are going to be high up on the list? Rose? I don't believe so. Oh. Oh, yeah, it is. Because rose is not a cool flower anymore. It is in the list, but it's like down.

There's ones that are before rose. For the girls category, they said names like Poppy, Lily, Daisy, Jasmine, Indigo, Violet, and Rose is also there on the list. Okay. Indigo and Violet aren't flowers. Are they? They're colours. Well, yeah, colours are flowers.

I don't know. Maybe they are flowers. I don't know. But I thought they were. They could be. Yeah. They could be. They're a bit Roy G. Biv for me.

But yeah, okay. They said girls that are also, they reckon, going to be the most popular, names like Azalea. Oh, yeah, flower. Which is said to mean abundance and overwhelming joy and success. Blossom, also high on the list. Cute. What about Agapantha? Agapantha, not on there.

They reckon the most popular name for a girl, though, in this category for next year. Snapdragon. Nah, not on the list. Juniper. Ah, little June. Little Juniper, which is juniper berries are the things that make gin. Yeah, there's some botanicals used in some gins.

So juniper, they reckon, will be the standout name for girls next year, which means young and evergreen. Let's move on to the boys in terms of these floral names. Tiger lily. Tiger Lily. Tiger Lily, such a strong name. They said names like Rowan, Rowan and Wren. Okay. Are these not flower themed?

Yeah, no, it's a flower. A Rowan flower. A Rowan flower. Okay. Rowan, Rowan, I don't know how to say it. Spell it, spell it. R-O-W-A-N. Oh, Rowan. Yeah, Rowan is a I don't know how to say it Spell it R-O-W-A-N Rowan

Yeah Rowan Is a flower Okay And then other names like Celtic Obviously Which is a shamrock Oh yeah it is a flower Yeah sorry my bad

Celtic which means tree of life They reckon will be popular And they also reckon Yeah Wren is going to be popular Along with Florian Basil Linden Cedar Thorn and Hollis. Florian. Florian.

Sounds like a Pokemon. If you give your kid the name Florian, you're signing them up for a life of, sorry, what? What did you say? What was your name? Florian. Florence. My name's Florian. No, it's Florian.

Could you just spell that for me? Yeah. Okay. I have to. F-L-O-R-I-A-N's Florian. No, it's Florian. Could you just spell that for me? Yeah. Okay. I have to. F-L-O-R-I-A-N. Florian. The wren flower looks a lot like the tattoo that you have. Show me.

Oh, it's like a water lily. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite cool. They said the top name for boys in this category, Orion. Adi Savia. Orion is the ultimate winner.

Symbolizes good health and happiness. Orion. Orion. There you go. Now you know. If you're pregnant or planning to get pregnant on New Year's Eve, you know exactly what to do. Yeah, dandelion sounds pretty fun for a kid too.

Yep, yep. Brianne Clint. Right now, we're continuing our quest to do an entire week of Love Actually themed phone topics. It's the Great Love Actually talk-a-thon. It just keeps on giving. Keeps on giving. It's the movie that keeps on giving every year at Christmas time,

and it keeps on giving us stuff to talk about. So many storylines, so many relatable topics. So far we've talked about did your brother sleep with your partner? Did you fall in love with someone who doesn't speak the same language as you? Did your family member try and steal your... Oh, did your friend try and steal your partner? Yes, that one. A lot of cheating in that movie, yeah.

A lot of cheating, eh, yeah. And what's it going to be today, Brie? Today... And do you still hate Alan Rickman? Yeah. Even though he's dead. Yeah, all great topics. But today I feel like we need to cover someone else that's in the film.

It doesn't have as big a storyline as some of the others, but for me I feel like it was a standout. You might remember Colin, who was the guy that decided to travel to America because he thought with his English accent he would be much hotter there. Yeah. Hence, he could hook up with more women. Yeah.

One of my favourite scenes in the entire Love Actually film is where he's a waiter at a wedding. Yeah. And he walks up to this pretty woman and he starts having a conversation with her and he absolutely puts his foot in it. Take a listen. We've got the scene here.

Food. No, thanks. Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it? Looks like a dead baby's finger. Mmm. Oh, yeah. Tastes like it. Good.

I'm Colin, by the way. I'm Nancy. Wicked. What do you do, Nancy? I'm a cook. Ever do weddings? Yes, I do. I should have asked you to do this one.

I did. God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down. I didn't. So good. So I thought our Love Actually topic today could be, when did you royally put your foot in it? You just said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. Absolutely.

Embarrassed yourself. Put your foot in it royally. 0800 dial Z Or you can text us on 9696 You're not a bad person You just got a terrible case of foot in mouth We've all been there It happens

It's not your fault babes Share it with us and we'll see if we can eek This Love Island Love Actually Are you okay? Love Actually talkathon out one more day. I don't know if I am all right. I think you need a big sleep.

Love Actually, Love Actually, Love Actually. When did you put your foot in it with what you said? We want to hear about it. The Love Actually themed conversation continues on our show. Can't stop, won't stop. We'll never stop. Today it was my turn to pick and I decided to go with the Colin storyline. Yeah.

If you don't remember that character, he's the guy that yells out, it's probably one of my favourite quotes from a movie ever. Do you know the one I'm talking about? Refresh me. I'm not going? Refresh me. I'm not going to say the first part, but the end of the quote, he goes, and he's got a big knob. I just Googled that on my laptop to make sure I was saying the right quote and you don't want to know what came up.

Yeah, right. On the work Wi-Fi. Yeah, don't Google that on the work Wi-Fi. But there's a scene in the film where he totally puts his foot in it, where he's talking to the woman who catered the wedding that he's working at. Food? No, thanks.

Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it? Looks like a dead baby's finger. Mmm. Oh, yeah. I like it. I'm Colin, by the way. I'm Nancy. I'm a kid.

What do you do, Nancy? I'm a cook. Ever do weddings? Yes, I do. I should have asked you to do this one. I did. God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down. I didn't.

So we want to know, where did you put your foot in it? We've all done it before. When did you say the wrong thing? I got a Snapchat from a friend who was a nurse the other week. Yeah. And it said, I just tried rubbing, to gently wake a patient so I could do her obs, by gently rubbing her leg. When she wouldn't wake, I checked her chart and she is paralysed from the waist down. Well. She wouldn't know about it. She wouldn't know about it.

You're fine. Let's go to the phones. These people want to remain anonymous. Fair enough. Anonymous, tell us when did you royally put your foot in it? Yes, hello. What happened? My husband does work contracts to a national company. A huge company all around New Zealand. And the boss text something to me like, can you work on the weekend or something like that. And we had a little conversation and text.

And then I went to text my husband to tell him what was going on. And I text my husband and I said, Simon is being a big baby and he's packing a tanty. And then I looked at my text and it was back to Simon. And he's the owner of the whole company. And I basically went into a hot flash. And I felt so sick. And I was like, oh, my God, we've just lost 90% of our work. Oh, my God.

Lucky we didn't. Simon could identify that he was chucking a tanty. At that point, you need to go, oh, sorry, Simon. I was talking about my son Simon. I also have a child that you haven't met. I tried but he knew he knew. It's because he knew he was chucking a Tanty, that's why. Yeah, that's what it comes back to.

Oh anonymous, you poor thing. Yeah, you feel like the ground's going to open up and swallow you. This is why they should have the option of unsending a text. That can be worse. Yeah, someone sent this through on text and said, looking after a patient in hospital, I asked if his daughter was going to stay to keep an eye on him,

to keep him company. It turns out it was his very, very much younger wife. So that was a meaningful connection. He'd be used to it. Yeah. So would she. And so would she. Yeah.

It's fine. It still makes you feel real awkward, though. It's not weird for you, it's weird for them. He's the one dating... Is your daughter going to say, he's like, that's my wife? This person wants to be anonymous as well. Hi, anonymous. Hi, anonymous.

Hi there. When did you royally put your foot in it? I'm a teacher and a couple of years ago, we had a child that was hit by a car outside the school and the next day I arrived in the staff room and said, God, I'm exhausted. I feel like I've been hit by a car. Oh no.

And nobody laughed. Nobody said anything. No, nobody would laugh at that one. Child was fine. I assumed the child was fine. You wouldn't have called us and said otherwise. No, no, no. Well, that's, I mean, it's not your fault that that's a saying

and then a child actually did get hit the day before. But it wasn't my fault. I said it. Yeah, I know. But it's because it's kind of there in the background and your mind's like, don't talk about the thing that's really there. Don't mention that. Don't mention that.

Don't mention that. Oh, you poor thing. Because they would have thought you were making a joke. That's the worst bit. They would have all thought you were making a joke about the thing that had just happened. And they're like, not funny. Everyone would have been like, well, she's really insensitive, isn't she? Well, exactly.

I left the school. You left the school? Wow, that's the only thing you can do in that situation. It was the only way exactly. I left the school for shortly. You left the school? Wow, that's the only thing you can do in that situation. It was the only way out. That's the only option there. Thank you, Anonymous. That was a brilliant story.

Anonymous. I had to leave. Someone said, my friend went to her mother-in-law's house and her mother-in-law had just been to the doctor to find out

if she had breast cancer. She told my friend the results were positive and my friend said, oh my God, what a relief. Congratulations. And then had to have it awkwardly explained to her what positive actually meant. It meant she has breast cancer. Lucky she was very close to the mother-in-law.

And they all laughed about it. Oh, it was probably just what they needed, to have a good laugh. Yeah, I reckon as well. To have a good bloody laugh about it. Jeez. I'll bring that up in that book. Also, by the way, we had a text to say that half a ham is $78 currently. Wowza.

Is there any specials on? I'm out of touch with the price of ham. The last radio station I worked at used to give out a Christmas bonus, which was a ham. Yeah, I got a ham one year. Yeah, we used to get a ham every year. Yeah. And then I used to give it away because I'd have to fly.

Yeah. And I couldn't take the ham on the plane. You'd live alone and you don't want a one-person ham. Well, I'd be travelling for like eight hours and I can't travel with the ham. Yeah. Well, I guess I could have. You could have, yeah. Put it in a chilli bin.

Yeah, at Christmas you can travel with a ham. Or I cook it before. Wrap it in a blanket, say could have, yeah. Put it in a chilli bin. Yeah, at Christmas you can travel with a ham. Or I cook it before. Wrap it in a blanket, say it's a baby. Put it in a ham bag. Ham bag, yep. Carry-on size, as long as it's a carry-on

sized ham. Ham bags freak me out by the way. You wet them and then the ham stays good for like three weeks. I prefer the bag to the wet tea towel method.

Oh, that too. Same thing. Yeah. Tea towel, yuck. Anyway, let's watch the plot. Yeah. Teetale, yuck. Anyway, let's What's the Plot? Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was smart, debatable, talented, eh, athletic. Not really.

But picking a movie title based on just the plot line, that she can do. Bree and Clint's What's the Plot? Today we're attempting to give away $150 cash to you, Samara. Hi. Hi, Samara. Hi. To win that, you're going to have to get two movie plots right before Bree gets two movie plots right.

Are you up to the challenge? Yeah, I can try. No, more. More energy. Samara, are you up to the challenge? Yep, I'm up to the challenge. Give it a hoon, Samara. Why not?

We're here now. I read out plot lines of movies, and the first one of you to buzz in with your name and tell me the name of that movie gets the point. That's how this works. And we always have a theme. What else would the theme this week be other than Christmas movies?

Makes sense. Christmas movies. Samara, do you like a Christmas movie? No, right. Not really. Brie watches like 25 Christmas movies every December. I watch them all year round. Do love a Christmas film. She may

have the advantage, but let's just go for it, okay? Come on, Samara. You've got this. Give it a good red hot crack. Don't wait for me to finish the plot line before you buzz in with your name. Movie number one. A divorced dad has custody of his son on Christmas Eve after he exited... Samara. Samara.

Santa Claus? What was that, sorry? The Santa Claus. The Santa Claus is correct. Nice work, Samara. Well done. Okay. All right.

Movie number two. I need to pick up my game now. A crotchety man and his old friend reunite once a year for a holiday con, posing as a mall Santa. Brie. Bad Santa. Bad Santa's correct. mall Santa. Brie. Bad Santa. Bad Santa's correct.

Well done, Brie. Great film. Billy Bob Thornton. Okay, there's only one left. Samara, if you get this one, you're the What's the Plot champion, okay? Yeah. Good luck, Samara. A child was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler.

Brie, Elf. Elf is correct. Not today, Samara. God, Samara, you had me worried, though. We do have 50 KFC chicken dollars as a consolation prize for you, Samara, though. Yay, thank you so much. You're very welcome. Samara's just stoked with anything.

I reckon. I think she's just happy to be here. Brie and Clint. Brie, would you like to know who you're going to date in 2024? Yeah, I'm sure my partner would also like to know that. My wife would like to know. My wife. Who I'm dating. Oh, excuse me.

Sorry. Of course. My wife. My wife. The Herald have released a dating calculator. Yeah. This is really interesting technology. It's new technology, but...

I don't know how much you should bank on this calculator. It's in the New Zealand Herald. Oh, well, it's got to be real. It's in the New Zealand Herald, Bree. I think it's a bit of fun. It uses data based on gender and names assigned at birth in New Zealand over the years. And this calculator can already tell that

Daniel and Jessica are the most common names for Kiwis to date in 2024. So Daniels and Jessicas, you you're in for a bumper year next year. So wait, that's Daniel and Jessica. Are the most common names. Most dateable names. Most dateable names. In the age brackets

that people are dating, Daniel and Jessica. Or are they just the most common names? Don't ask questions I don't know dating, Daniel and Jessica. Or are they just the most common names? Don't ask questions I don't know the answer to, okay? I think they're the most common names because that's the most common names for the years that they were born. Interesting theory. Would you like to know who you were dating in 2024? Yeah, go on. Okay.

Who is it? Let me just fire this thing up here. I'm just going to... Okay, I need to ask you a few questions. Okay. In 2024, are you looking to date males or females? Either or. Either or?

Okay, I'll see if I can take both. Really play on the field. Okay. And what's your youngest age that you're willing to date? Pause. I've got to carry the three. 30. 30?

Okay, I'll just ratchet that one up to 30. And what's the oldest age that you're willing to date? 69. 69? Okay, that's quite a broad range. Got to make it broad. Yeah. Keep it broad, keep it sexy.

Okay, it's really going to mess with the data, but that's fine. I'm going to 69 for Bree. Okay. According to the Herald's dating calendar, in 2024, the name of the person you are most likely to date... Yes? ...is Michael. Do love those Michaels.

Michael. Mike. Followed by David. Followed by Andrew. Followed by John. Followed by Mark, Paul, Peter, Christopher, James and Stephen. Oh, these are all bloody cookie cutter names, aren't they? No women.

No women. God, that's homophobic. It's a men year for you next year. Well, yeah, fair enough. Okay. What if I remove... The year of the D. I might remove men from the...

From the... The equation. Yeah. So if we just focus on women. Okay. Sarah. Sarah. Most likely. All right. Well, look out, women. Okay. Sarah. Sarah. Most likely.

All right. Well, look out, Sarah. There's some that work in the building. Followed by Karen. Claudia's laughing. She knows what I'm talking about. Karen is the second. Karen.

That'll be the 69 age bracket that's done that to you. Yeah. Same with Susan, I reckon. Oh, get Susan Devoy on the phone. Tell her we're about to hook up for 2024. Okay. Okay, your turn. Yeah, my turn.

You're way too broad, by the way. I love the idea of you hooking up with a 69-year-old, but I don't believe you. Yeah, you're right. My limit would probably be 50. I'm making that my limit. Are you? Okay.

Who are you dating? How young can I go? 35. 35? I'm 36. You're saying I can't go down to 30? Oh, I mean, it's up to you. I'll meet you halfway.

Okay. 32. 33 is halfway. 33. Okay, according. 33. And I'm going to choose women. Sarah.

Sarah by a long shot. I'm pretty sure the name Sarah wins most of the categories. Really? Because it's been the most popular name for such a long time in our demographic. It was the most common name for girls born between 1973 and 1990. Oh my God. That's Sarah. That's everyone.

Then I'm going to date Rebecca and after her I'm going to date Lisa. And then I'm going to date everyone. And then I'm going to date Rebecca. And after her, I'm going to date Lisa. And then I'm going to date Emma. And then I'm going to date Rachel. And then Jessica, Nicola, Michelle, Anna, and Amanda. And after that, I'm going to go back to my wife. And I'm going to go, I'm sorry. God. Please have me back.

Lou Baker's got a whole new song to write. It's a bit of fun. And if you want to try it, you can head to the NZ Herald website. A little bit of Jessica in my ear. Under the lifestyle section, it's called the dating calculator. Go do it. It's a bit of fun. Bree and Clint.

Time for a birthday banger. Bree and Clint. All I want for my birthday is a birthday banger. All right, let's pick up the tempo a little bit with some birthday bangers. These are the number one songs when you actually turn 16, and we're going to play our favourite one out of three. Terry's here first. Hi, Terry. G'day, Terry. Hi, how's it going? Good, thanks. Whereabouts are you calling from? I'm calling from Wellington. Oh, lovely, Terry. Well, good to have you here. What is your birthday? 5th of June, 1993. Right, Terry,

that means you were 16 in 2009. And back on your 16th, Terry, this was at the top. Bit of LaRue, Bulletproof. Oh, nice. You like it? Yeah, it's a banger. Yeah, it's a good throwback. I love that song from LaRue. Probably my favourite song of theirs.

Okay, tune. Very good, Terry. We're going to LaRue. Probably my favourite song of theirs. Okay, tune. Very good, Terry. We're going to do a birthday banger for Shelley. Kia ora, Shelley. Hi, Shelley. Kia ora. How are you? We're good, Shelley.

Whereabouts are you? I'm in Auckland. Oh, lovely. Well, welcome to the show. Shelley, what's your birthday? 25th of March, 1981. All right, that means you were 16 in 1997, and on your 16th birthday, this was number one. Spice Girls. Banger from the Spice Girls. Shelley, were you a fan? Oh, give or take.

I'm not a huge fan, but... You didn't have a group of four friends and you guys all dressed as the Spice Girls and did the dances? I was definitely baby if we were going to. Baby, yeah, okay. Yeah. I hear you, Shelley.

I hear you. Okay, sweet as. Wait there. We're going to do one more birthday banger for Renee. Hi, Renee. You there, Renee're going to do one more birthday banger for Renee. Hi, Renee. You there, Renee? I am. There she is.

G'day, Renee. How's your day been? Good, good. How's yours been? Yeah, it's been good, Renee. Glad to have you on board. Birthday banger. What's your birthday?

The 5th of September, 1994. Right, that means you were 16 in the year 2010. And Renee, this is your birthday banger. You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream The way you turn me on KP. That's a goodie. That's a goodie.

That's a banger, Renee. I'd argue one of Katy Perry's biggest hits. This is Katy Perry. Yep. This is as big as she got, I reckon. Must be. You love it, Renee?

That's good 16-year-old memories for you. I love it. Great. It's good. I like Renee's energy. Three really good songs. I like them all.

Three really different songs from three different eras as well. Yeah. Which makes it hard. I am going to pick Stay well. Yeah. Which makes it hard. I am going to pick... Stay together. Okay. I think we're on the same page.

Okay. Three, two, one. Spice Girls. Yeah, baby. Hey, Shelly, you just won Birthday Banger. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you. All good. That was a tough one. Any of those could have won. I like them all.

This goes back to 1997, though. Your birthday banger is the Spice Girls, and who do you think you are on ZM? Brian Clint. Brian Clint. ZM, Brian Clint, that's the winner of birthday banger from 1997. It's the Spice Girls for Shelley. No regrets. No regrets whatsoever.

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest Christmas carols, Christmas songs. It's not really a Christmas carol, Fairytale of New York. Last week, the singer of this band died. His name was Shane McGowan. Oh, that's sad. He was a legendary Irish rock star. How old was he? More than just Christmas songs.

He was 66. Oh, that's young. He died of pneumonia. No. But there's a story that's emerged of how he planned his own funeral, which is very cool. That is very cool. It is very cool.

Shane McGowan, singer of the Pogues, loved a drink or five. Yeah, Guinness. It's no secret that he was big on the booze. He pre-planned for his funeral, well the wake of his funeral. The funeral was in a church, but then the wake. The after party. Yeah, the after party. He planned for it to be in a very specific pub in

Ireland. Cool. And he organised for 10,000 pounds to be on the bar tab. You're kidding. At his wake. Which was not an enormously huge wake. So it's just... Ten grand on the bar. It's a regular-sized group of your friends and family that have to get through £10,000, $17,000.

Wow. On the bar. Oh, that sounds like a fun wake. Yeah. Good way to get your grieving process underway. Hell yeah. More than that, to get in, the guests needed to come with pre-prepared concert-style passes and lanyards.

Okay. Because he's a rock star. Yep. And then they had security guards on the door. They had 10 suited doormen who would check your lanyard to get into the wake. And then when you get in there, free booze. What a cool guy.

And it got me thinking about unorthodox funerals because that is, that's not your, that's not your typical funeral. That's not cucumber sandwiches and asparagus rolls and a cup of tea.

Although I do love an asparagus roll. It reminds me of death asparagus rolls. Does it of tea. Although I do love an asparagus roll. It reminds me of death asparagus rolls. Does it? Because it's funeral food. Why is it funeral food? I don't know.

I don't know. I still love an asparagus roll but I just go as soon as I bite into it I go, Nan's funeral. Good roll. They're delish.

Yeah. I want to know on 0800 dials at M this afternoon or on the text machine, did you go to an unorthodox funeral, the person who passed or their friends and family organised for something different to happen as part of the funeral or the wake for that person? I think the kind of things we're looking for is did everyone have to wear bright colours to the funeral, which is not typically what you wear to a funeral. Did they love drum and bass and they organised Shapeshifter to play at the wake?

Was it like a total festival, this person's funeral? It's really hard to do. Everybody says when I die, I want my friends and family to have a big party, but it's really hard to do. Everybody says when I die, I want my friends and family to have a big party, but it's really hard to actually pull that off. When I die, I'm going to have all of the waiters bring out weed brownies or magic mushrooms. Okay. Yeah. Just for anyone that wants them. Will they be clearly labelled?

Yeah. This is that or this is that. Oh yeah. Sweet. That'd be a wild wake if you didn't label them. It would be a wild wake. Can you imagine? I know it's a bit grim and I know it's a bit dark, but at the same time, what a way to remember somebody. There's that movie that's out on Netflix that came out on Netflix this year. Got voted one of the best movies of the year by Netflix, actually.

Yeah. And it's the love story and the guy that's falling in love in the movie, his mum is dying of cancer and instead of having a funeral, they do this thing before she passes away where she's there and all of her friends and family, because she loves the theatre, they have to put on a performance for her and it goes all night and everyone has to prepare some sort of performance.

It's very cool. Okay, 0800DARLSATM or text it to 9696. Did you attend an unusual and unorthodox funeral? What happened at it? I just want to go to producer Claudia, executive producer. Do I have permission to play that Pogue song because it's Christmas? Can we?

You've asked really nicely. So, yeah, of course. Hooray. Bree and Clint, we're back after this. You're on ZM. It was Christmas Eve, babe. Bree and Clint. We're talking about unorthodox, unusual, different funerals

after the singer from the Pogues, who died last week, who we just played before in that Fairytale of New York song, organised a bar tab of 10,000 pounds at the bar where his wake was being held. What a legend. What a legend. I think it's a great idea. Nobody knew it was happening. He organised it.

I think he had a friend. He told a friend. He said, when this happens, this is what happens. Take the money from my estate. This is how we're going to do it. Yep. And his friend made sure that it happened. And happened and everybody was perfect. I think it was perfect. I really like it. So we're asking you this afternoon, did you go to an unorthodox funeral? Someone on the text machine said, my nana wanted everyone to write

and draw all over her coffin. It looked so cool by the end. I like that. That's pretty cool. This is similar. Someone said, at my mum's funeral, we all released bright coloured helium balloons. She had a playing casket for everyone to decorate with drawings and our names.

We also had her music playing on a playlist. She was a preschool teacher, so Barney started coming on at the funeral. Oh, that's cool. What an awesome funeral. Let's go to Kate on 0800 dials at M. Hi, Kate. Hi, Kate.

Hey, guys. How are you going? We're good, thanks, Kate. What was the unorthodox funeral you went to? So a family friend who had terminal cancer, larger-than-life personality, small-town New Zealand, and the emcee or celebrant got up and sort of started talking about her life and in the end he burst into tears.

He said, I can't do this. And as we all know, this person is larger than life. And I'm just going to hand it over to her. And then on the big screen, she went, hello. Oh, I like it. Oh, my God. And she ran her whole funeral talking to us on video. Wow.

Even telling us to go and have a cup of tea. And while we're having a cup of tea, she's waving at people and she's going, oh, Sarah, I love your outfit. And it was the most freaky thing. Oh, my God. That's so buzzy. It was so cool.

Yeah. Yeah. How long ago was this, Kate? This is like ahead of its time, it sounds like, this funeral. Yeah, it was probably about 15 years ago. Really? Okay. Yeah, and at the very end, she just said, oh, well was probably about 15 years ago. Really? Okay. And yeah, at the very end she just said,

oh well, I'll see you later. And then she just finished and went out to another one and bites the dust and she's finally become a funeral celebrant. What a great person. Okay, thanks Kate. That's a wonderful story. We appreciate it. 15 years ago she did that. Yeah, you couldn't just whip out your iPhone to film that stuff 15 years ago. Nah, like it would have had to be like, you know, thought about, filmed, properly put together. Laura's here. Hi, Laura. Hi, Laura. Hi, how are you going?

We're good. You had an unexpected moment happen at a funeral that you were at. Yeah, so I went to a funeral of like, it was just like a real distant relative. And it's like the casket's being carried out and like the funeral's all wrapped up. This old man in the back row just literally keels over and passes away. No. Yeah. And so they had to get like, you know, the ambulance in and everything.

And so they're literally doing CPR on him, like we're three metres away and finding the guest book. And they had to like kick the hearse out early so they could get the ambulance and it was like what? they say don't get engaged

at someone else's funeral they should also at someone else's wedding they should also say don't die at someone else's funeral yeah unfortunately it's not their choice is it?

no real moment stealer yeah way to steal the thunder the person who died first is like hey no no no no, no. No, this is mine.

I paid for this. This is my funeral. God. Thanks, Laura. That's so, I have never heard of that happening. Arik's here as well. Hi, Arik. Hi, Arik.

Hey, guys. How's it going? We're good, thanks, Arik. Did you go to an unorthodox funeral? Yeah, so about five years ago, I went to a mate's funeral of mine who was in the military and he passed away. And he basically, you know, normal sort of funeral at start, got the preacher up. And then the preacher got a list of people and basically started like calling everybody out. Like he called out his brother, his sister, and then after all of that, last of the list was

he called out his girlfriend at the time who he had found out two months prior to that he had been cheating on him. No way. What? Yeah, seriously, the whole family was in shock. Everyone, she walked out crying, and pretty much all of the mates were laughing our head off

because it was really funny. Oh, I didn't know about this one, Arik. This is like dirty laundry at the funeral. How did it go down? Well, for some people it didn't go down that rate, but yeah, I mean, he called me out. Apparently I still owed him 50 bucks.

Oh, see, that's funny. That's funny. I don't know about bucks. Okay. See, that's funny. That's funny. I don't know about the other stuff. Imagine being those people and you're like, well, we can't talk about it. You're gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no right of reply.

Jeez, that's pretty ruthless. Arik, you're right. That's an unorthodox funeral. It really is. Didn't expect that. Thanks, man. We appreciate it. Thanks, Ari. Thanks for calling.

Someone said, my cousin arrived at our gran's funeral shackled to two prison officers. The prison officers had to join him up the front while he read out his poem. Oh, yeah, that's pretty unorthodox, isn't it? He's like, can I go to the wake afterwards and have some asparagus rolls? And they're like, nah, you go on back in the paddy wagon. No, they're like, yeah, we want asparagus rolls too. Apologies, you can't say paddy wagon anymore.

Oh, no, you can't, eh? No, you can't. So apologies for that. That's my mistake. But what if we just played the Pogues as well? We had to play the Pogues. It's that time of year when all the lists are released. Sanders list and all the lists for the year. Which one are you on?

Probably in the middle somewhere. You're on the bad gal Riri list, eh? Probably, probably. But all the lists as well where they collect all the data and they're like, this is, you know, the best of lists. And this one has come out today where they've released one of the most streamed Christmas songs on Spotify. Okay, yeah.

Which is quite an interesting list. I think we're going to go through the top five because some of them I feel like you wouldn't pick. I'm looking for an alternative Christmas playlist this year. Okay. I'm looking for something you just have on at home on Christmas Day and it's not Buble and it's not Mariah. It's something a bit different.

Well, the top five stream songs might not be the list for you because I think they're the most popular. But there's a few on there that are different. Yeah, sure. I'll also tell you how many times they've been streamed. Okay. So we're going to kick it off with number five. It's a song from Sia called Snowman.

This made the top five. This is number five on the most streamed Christmas songs. She's so rich, eh? On Spotify. So get how rich she would be. So that song, just that song, Snowman by Sia, has been streamed over 724 million times, which is an estimated earnings of $5,799,000.

For one of her songs. Just that. That's not even featuring Flo Rida, Wild Ones. Yeah, that's just that song. Yeah. Okay. So let's move on to number four. You might recognise this guy, Miguel Bubler.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. This comes in at number four from Michael Bublé, of course. I saw a TikTok video of Michael Bublé on a podcast today and he talked about how he doesn't have fancy things. He's incredibly wealthy, but he doesn't buy fancy things. He doesn't have fancy car or clothes or anything like that. He drives a Prius. Does he? I don't know. He probably does. He could do. He doesn't have a fancy car or clothes or anything like that. He drives a Prius. Does he?

I don't know. He probably does. He could do. He spent all his money on his house. He has a mean house. He said he wanted a place where him and his mates could get wasted and eat weed gummies. Fun. I want to go to Bublé's house.

Anyway, that's got 864 million streams. Yeah. Let's get into the medals. Number three is this ripping Christmas tune from Ariana Grande. This is one of my favourite Christmas songs. Grande made

it into the top five. Yeah, number three. Wow. Okay. This has gotten streamed more on Spotify than Bublé with 896 million streams on Spotify. Wow. Very popular.

Good for you, Ariana Grande. Good for Ariana Grande. But number two, we'll move right along. This might shock you because number two, these are the most streamed Christmas songs on Spotify, is from Mariah Carey. I bet you were thinking that was going to be number one. Can I say something that might be controversial?

I think this song has finally peaked. Still good. I still don't mind it. No, no, no, it's still good. Yeah, it's still good. Still good. I think in the last five years, it's had a disproportionate amount of attention and love for a song that came out in the 90s.

Long time ago. I reckon this Christmas, we're starting to move away from it. Yeah, could be. Still has 1.5 billion streams on Spotify. But the number one spot, which you would have thought it would have been that song, but it's not. With 1.9 billion streams on Spotify, it's Last Christmas from Wow. Last Christmas.

Wow. Great Christmas song. Fantastic Christmas song and the most streamed Christmas song on Spotify. No Elvis. No Elvis. No Snoopy's Christmas. No Snoopy's Christmas. No Snoopy's Christmas.

No rocking around the Christmas tree. There's a lot of great Christmas songs. So many. There you go. Merry Christmas everybody. Play ZM's Brand Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM. Feed by KFC.

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