ZM's Bree & Clint - ZM's Bree & Clint Podcast – 14th February 2022

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Just a heads up, if there's kids listening, this podcast intro has some dirty content in it. Hi everybody, welcome to the Brian Clint Podcast and happy Valentine's Day if you live in this part of the world and happy Valentine's Eve if you don't. I forget that we live in the future. Anybody like some content that was too spicy for the show today? But it's probably just the right amount of spicy for the podcast. Okay. This is the most dangerous indoor gardening positions

to avoid this Valentine's Day. The jackhammer. And what could go wrong? Yeah, well, the jackhammer's not on here. But it's dangerous. Just avoid it in general. You know? Always avoid a jackhammer.

Do you guys know what the jackhammer is? It isn't just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Nah, you guys know what the jackhammer is? It's not just bam, bam, bam. In my mind, the jackhammer is the one person is doing a handstand and then they're in a full leg split. Yeah, I know what you're doing.

You're handstanding. Middle split. And then the other person is on top of that and then holding onto person is on top of that and then holding onto the legs like a jackhammer. I know that as the Pakistani pile driver. I don't know if you

can say that in today's culture. Can you not? In today's society, I mean. I'll censor it later. But that's what I know it is. Was that legit? Yeah, I didn't make that up. You made that up on the spot then. Bucks is only a pile driver.

What's on the list? Because you're driving piles down into the ground, you know, like, you know, piles. Oh, yeah, I've done that before. Anyway, here are the lists. First position to avoid, and we'll keep this as PG as possible, dangerous gardening positions that could go wrong with Valentine's Day. Standing positions. If you or your partner want to explore, use something as a support,

which may be helpful, like something to lean on. You're more likely to topple over and get injured. Well, no shit. Can I just say, just don't lean on the soap holder in the shower good advice i may know from experience that hold so you know when you see in a shower they have the tiles and then one tile it's still like porcelain or whatever the tile's made of, but it's a soap holder, but it's in the spot where a tile would be. Yeah.

Yeah. Those come off. I'm not surprised. Okay, good tip. Good advice. Oh, the second one is exactly what you talked about. Handstand positions. For couples who treat this activity like a competitive sport,

handstand positions are possible, but unsurprisingly, they present a number of risks. I mean, handstands in general are quite dangerous. Yeah. As you age. Losing your balance can lead to injury, while being upside down can cause dizziness or even fainting due to an increase in blood pressure in your head yeah well that that's not good and in your skull um can i just add to the standing up one and rule two you said be careful of shower holders can i also add don't overestimate your strength if you're doing a standing up one and you feel the need to do some lifting if you're're the lifter, don't get all testosterone and go,

I can lift her. I'm good. Because if you can't... Do you mean underestimate? No, don't overestimate your strength. Because if you can't lift, if you think you can lift, but you actually can't lift,

and then partway through the position, you have to put that person down because you're tired. It's not very romantic. You have to say to the person, sorry, you're too heavy. And I think a lot of people overestimate. Absolutely. You know, in the heat of the moment, they're like, oh, this is so hot.

I would say do some test runs. Go around and surprise your partner. Pick her up or him up for a bit around the house just to get a gauge on that. Great idea. Ask if you can carry them around for a bit. Even do strangers for practice, you know, around picking up strangers. Find someone who you think is a similar size and wait to your partner. If you're not in a relationship, but say you meet someone that you want to have consensual times with,

you need someone to practice on. I mean, ask the strangers first as well. Ask them too. Yeah, consent is key. Positions to avoid this Valentine's Day. The mermaid. What's the mermaid? In a nutshell, this position involves the receiver on top with their legs lifted up in a V.

Okay. Oh yeah. On top. Why is that? Unless you have incredible core strength and pelvic floor control Perhaps skip this one The position makes it easy for the receiver to fall Which could result in a nasty injury Instead cowgirl

Or reverse cowgirl are safe bets Hell yeah We're keeping this PG lots of code words The wheelbarrow we all know the wheelbarrow Yeah wheelbarrow's not a good idea The wheelbarrow's a comedy one Let me just say If it's good wheelbarrow's not a good idea, eh? The wheelbarrow's a comedy one, eh? Surely it's a comedy one. Let me just say, if it's good

for you, it's not good for us. So don't be selfish. I can't imagine them being particularly good for us either. I think they're taking the piss. Like, how awkward is it? Have you guys ever done an adult wheelbarrow? Not in the sexual sense. Have you ever done an adult wheelbarrow?

I have in boot camps Yeah And like fitness things Horrible It's so bad Like as a kid Fun As an adult

That's a hip replacement It's a core workout For the wheelbarrow It's horrible And it's a shoulder workout For the barrow driver Like I don't want to do that Barrow driver

During you know Indoor gardening No no So avoid the wheelbarrow This is another one So avoid the wheelbarrow. This is another one to avoid the helicopter. Okay. Fuck.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, we were keeping it clean until then, Anastasia. Sorry. What is that? We'll get through these. The helicopter requires the giver to swivel around while on top, kind of like a helicopter. Oh, yes. That would cause.

Ouch. Yeah. Ouch for everybody. Ouch, ouch, kind of like a helicopter. Oh, yes. That would cause. Ouch. Yeah. Ouch for everybody. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Last one is the waterfall. Anyone know what the waterfall is? I can think of something, but I don't. Is it standing up 69?

The waterfall, I don't know, so let's find out together. The waterfall, the position leads to a hyper extension of the back Having your head upside down Okay It can play havoc on blood pressure It can cause spinal injuries It can be safer by using pillows I think you're right

I think I nearly am right I think it's a standing pillows. I think you're right. I think I nearly am right. I think it's a standing. Oh, no. I think it's someone's on top and then they arch back. You could arch off the bed. You know? And then they arch back off that way. But they're still connected.

But they're still connected at the bits. Wow. Yeah, right. Well, there you go. Those are the ones to avoid Do you guys know What a Superman is? Yeah

That's I can't believe That it was in that song Where all of us kids Were singing along to it Oh it's wrong That's so yuck that one Yep

And not a fan of that That's also dangerous No no injuries It doesn't warn against that one I think it was just against Good taste and decency Just good taste and decency. Just good taste and decency. That's not a good idea.

What about, what are some of the other ones? The dolphin? Oh, my God. The wolverine? Is that one? Yeah. I'll have to explain that one later. The water bottle.

The muskrat? Muskrat. Toad in a hole? Toad in a hole. Toad in a hole. Pick in a blanket. What could be, let's just come up with the ones that could be the names of ones. That's what I was doing with Toad in a hole. The hot air balloon.

The hot air balloon. That could definitely be something. The drink bottle. The cheese grater. The microphone. Oh, my God. And Stacey's loving her fantasies at the moment. The slap the eel.

The whiteboard The naughty mechanic The red balloon No that's what I was going to say I'm just looking at The stuff around the office The Brie Thomas out The bushfire The Ben McDowell

That's a dirty Sanchez Yeah yeah yeah Alright well happy Valentine's Everybody stay safe In the bedroom Do what you gotta do The Ben McDowell? That's a dirty Sanchez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, happy Valentine's, everybody. Stay safe in the bedroom. Do what you got to do. Ben, you just put a warning on the front of this.

Do you want me to do it manually? I'll do it now. Well, howdy, children. Got it, everybody. Happy Monday It is free and clean. G'day, everybody. Happy Monday afternoon on Super Bowl Monday. Did we all watch the Super Bowl halftime show? Sure did. Pretty awesome, eh?

Had some wings. Did you? Nah, I wish. We were going to go to the pub and do that. Yeah. It's pretty good. I lived in the States for a little while, so I was there for a couple when the Super Bowl was on.

Obviously, I didn't go to the Super Bowl because you have to be rich. Do you? You can't just. Is it pretty expensive? That stadium where they're playing it is enormous. Crazy. But the buzz on Super Bowl Sunday in America is insane. Believe it or not, they also play a football game on Super Bowl Sunday.

Oh, do they? Yeah, I know. Is that what it's actually about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They play some football at the Dr. Dre concert. If you missed it, here's a couple of highlights. 50 Cent was there.

So cool. Dr. Dre was, Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre were there. And Eminem was there. Along with Mary J. Blige, Kendrick Lamar. Anyone else? Anderson.Paak. Anderson.Paak was playing drums.

He was a surprise guest. He was there. Yeah. It's pretty awesome. You should check it out on YouTube later today if you missed it. Pretty amazing. I wonder who won the soccer. Still going, I think. This is still going on.

Soccer's a long game. Okay. We'll kick the show off with Tradie vs. Lady this afternoon. Your chance to win $50 cash thanks to our friends at KFC. If you want it, call us now. 0800-DIAL-ZM and you'll go head-to-head against someone else.

After that Super Bowl performance, I feel like it would be wrong to not start the show with a bit of Dr. Dre as well. Oh, yeah. For all the millennials out there going, I'm cool again! Brian Clint, it's in him.

Bree and Clint. Bree and Clint. Tradies versus ladies. Score update for all of you playing along at home. The ladies have 10 wins for the year. The tradies pulling a few back at the end of last week. Four wins for the year. The ladies are still dominating, back at the end of last week, four wins for the year. The ladies are still dominating though,

so let's get one on. She's 24. She's from the Garden City, but she was born in Australia. Welcome to the show, Gemma. G'day, Gemma. Hello. Whereabouts were you born?

I was born in Melbourne. Oh, cool. Yeah, nice. Okay, Gemma, you'll be taking on our tradie today. He's 47. He's from Nelson, and he works in the poo industry. Welcome to the show, Malcolm. G'day, Malcolm.

We love that. A bit of a dirty job. Someone's got to do it. What's the worst thing you've seen and had to deal with on your job? Oh, no. Well, we see quite a few things, but every now and again, we have to fish out some false teeth from somebody's septic tank. You're kidding me.

They ain't using those again, are they, Malcolm? And obviously, their false teeth are quite expensive. No. No, Malcolm. No. No, Malcolm. No. Can you put false teeth in the dishwasher? I'd rather no teeth. Yeah, Malcolm. No. Can you put four Cs in the dishwasher?

I'd rather no teeth. Yeah, right. Okay, well, Malcolm, your buzzer is tradie. Gemma, your buzzer is lady. First to three correct answers is going to win $50 cash thanks to KFC. Good luck. All right, guys, here we go. Question number one.

This year's Super Bowl halftime show went down in stellar fashion about an hour ago. Name one of the artists who performed. Marlowe Petrady. Yes, Malcolm. Dr. Dre, Kendrick Lamar, Eminem. You killed it. You gave me three and I only needed one, so you really got the job done.

Question number two. You only get one point though, Malcolm. Yeah, one to the tradies so far. Super Rugby begins this weekend. Name one of the New Zealand teams in the competition. Petrady. Katie. Lady. Yes, Malcolm.

Canterbury Crusaders. Nice work. We'll take that. Producer Ben loves it. They're the Nelson team too, right, Malcolm? They're yours. Yes, yes, they are ours. Yeah, they're yours.

All right, Gemma, you've been right on Malcolm's tail. You need this one to stop him, okay? Yeah. All right, Gemma, you've been right on Malcolm's tail. You need this one to stop him, okay? Yeah. All right, question number three. It's Valentine's Day today. What is the universal colour of love? Lady. I'm going to say, yeah, it was Gemma.

You got in first. Red. Red is correct. All right, question number four. Can you tell me who sings this song? When the pimp's in the crib, ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Lady. All right, question number four. Can you tell me who sings this song? Yes, Malcolm. Who's in? Snoop Dogg.

He's got it. 47-year-old Malcolm the Pooh professional. You know your West Coast hip-hop, and you today are the Tradiverse Lady Champion. Congratulations. Thanks, mate. Malcolm, you were right in the middle of that. Nice work.

Brie and Clint. February 14th. Happy Valentine's Day, Brie. Thank you. Did you get me something? No. Oh. No.

No, because we've got an agreement. We're on the same page when it comes to Valentine's Day. I got you that watermelon. You did not. We talked about this last week. You on the same page when it comes to Valentine's Day. I got you that watermelon. You did not. We talked about this last week. You and I are anti-Valentine's Day. Look, I'm not saying I'm anti it. Do I think it's a bit of a waste of money?

Yes, because I think you should do nice things for your significant other all the time. I agree with you. We're on the same page. What happened at your house this morning? I got up and I had something to eat. What did you have to eat? I made myself an egg and lettuce sandwich.

Did you really? No. No. I got up. Alright, I got up. My partner had done all of these lovely things for me this morning and I had a full-on panic attack. The saving grace in your situation is that your partner gets up really early to go to work. So early. So you're still asleep. She's done all these lovely things for you to wake up to. Like, real thoughtful stuff, too.

And is not even home when you got up. No. So, like, luckily. So luckily. I was the only one there. Run us through the things, because it was very thoughtful. So I went to get up our dog, Whitney, and there was a cute little card on her bed. And then I walked into the kitchen.

Was that from Whitney, that card? Yeah, that was, well, I mean, Whitney can't write. No, I know, but was it written? Technically from Whitney, so that was very cute. A little heart card. And then I walked into the kitchen and there was a lovely big bunch of flowers with a handwritten card. That was really cute. Yeah. And then I walked into the kitchen and there was a lovely big bunch of flowers with a handwritten card.

Yeah. That was really cute. Nice. And then I opened the fridge and breakfast had been laid out for me and there was bacon in the shape of a love heart. Oh, it was all the stops. It was all the stops. And what did you lay out for your partner when they got up for work?

Oh, well, see, you know, I was the only one home, so I wasn't able to have all my things ready, you know? Look, you know what? I believe this is not your fault, and I know you'll make up for it. I already have, trust me. You've got time to make up for it. I went and panic bought heaps of stuff. There's emergency flowers being taken home tonight.

I've got flowers. I've got cards. I went and panic bought heaps of stuff. There's emergency flowers being taken home tonight. That's fine. I've got flowers. I've got cards. I'm making chicken parmigiana. But did your partner tell you that they were going to do Valentine's Day? No. So technically I should be angry. Has Valentine's Day been a regular thing in your relationship? Look, this happened last year.

Oh, wait. Oh. Did it? Yeah. What, you forgot and they, well not forgot, you did nothing and they did something. Hey, but in fairness to me, I did something on our anniversary and she didn't. So technically. Oh, you're even.

We're eye for an eye. That's what relationships are really about. Exactly. Getting even with each other. Being even. I was going to let you off the hook because you can't just start doing Valentine's Day in a couple of years into a relationship. You can't just start doing it on Day a couple of years into a relationship.

You can't just start doing it on Valentine's Day without telling the other person that you're going to do it. Otherwise, you just make them feel bad. Yeah, she's an a-hole. Yeah, she's the one in the wrong here. Well, happy Valentine's Day, everybody. I think florists should stay open late on a day like today. And if you're in real trouble, supermarket, guys. Heaps of good stuff there.

They'll charge you double, but it's worth it. The protests at Parliament are in today, I don't know, six at the moment? Yeah. Long time. They've been there for a long time. And did you see there was like flooding? Yeah. And everything that was going on.

There was a bloody cyclone over the weekend. Yeah, they still were like out in force though. Yeah, it looks like day four of the Rhythm and Vines campground when the weather's really bad. Muddy. Whether you agree with the protesters or not, Parliament want them gone. They're like, please go.

You've wrecked our grass. We're in such good condition and you've wrecked it. So can you go? We need to fix that. Did you see the prank that one of them played on Trevor, what's his name? Mallard. Trevor Mallard, is it? The Speaker of the House.

Did you see it? No. They signed him up to be a member of the Green Party, was it? Did they? They signed him up to be a member of the Green Party, was it? Did they? Or they signed him up to be a member of the other party and then they also signed him up to be a member of an adult website. Right. Well, he's

their main enemy at the moment. He is the one who's doing the most to try and get them off the lawn. He's the one who on Friday turned the sprinklers on them, which was a waste of water in the end because there was a lot of rain coming. That is like stuff out of a movie. Can you imagine Trevor?

And he's up and he goes, you know what we'll do? I know what we can do to sort this. Let's turn the sprinklers on. Let's turn them on. The whole front lawn, please. It's got big Mr Burns vibes, eh? Doesn't it? Like release the hounds. Turn the sprink them on. The whole front lawn, please. It's got big Mr Burns vibes, eh? Doesn't it? Like, release the hounds.

Turn the sprinklers on. He has also been using Parliament's sound system to try and get rid of them, like using audio torture. So I've got a list here. These are real songs that Trevor Mallard has been blasting the protesters with in an attempt to get them to leave and go, oh, I can't, you know what? I can't bear this anymore.

I can't take this anymore. He's using this song. Nah, banger. I thought so too. And then the protesters. You've been in a tent for five days. We'll all just have something to dance to. Exactly right.

This is a unifying song, if anything. So nah, fail there, Trev. He's been using this song. This would get me to go home. Yeah, this is torture. There are kids at the protest. So really, he's probably doing the parents a favour because the kids are like, I want to go home.

I want to play PlayStation. Oh no, wait, this song's mine. I love this song. Yeah, I want to go home. I want to play PlayStation. Oh no, wait, this song's one. I love this song. Yeah, I'd hate this. More for the kids. Trevor Mallard has been using this song. Let it go. Let it go. Another Punisher.

Real wound in this song. Yeah, this is a Punisher. He's been using, you know the Titanic theme song? Yes. By Celine Dion. He's not using the original version. He's using this version. Isn't this from when you played it on the recorder on our show? No, but this is a Kiwi guy who did this. No offense to that guy.

And of course, everyone saw James Blunt over the weekend. James Blunt volunteered his music. He tweeted the New Zealand police and said, Yeah, he said, if my music could be of service, you're welcome to it. Really, that guy has too much time on his hands. None of it's worked. They're still there. I've got a couple of suggestions of songs.

What should they be playing? We could try this song. I love this song. Yeah, but it's about the message, right? Oh, I'd just have a great time. Yeah, well, that won't work then. What about this? Again, banger.

Absolute change. Not going to work. And the only other option I've got is this. Banger. Banger again. Great song. It's been called the only festival that's still allowed to go ahead this summer. It's the protest on the parliament lawn.

They should just get, you know, when Trevor addresses parliament, they should just get recordings of that and play it over the loudspeaker. Heaps of people would be gone in a flash. Or just Judith Collins saying to Lofa over and over and over. You'd just be asleep. A story that I read about today on the New Zealand Herald, actually, it's like a relationship question where this lady's asking, essentially, should she leave her partner?

And I want to run it by you. I'll just read it to you. She says, I've been married for 20 plus years. My husband has never... Yeah, leave. Time for something new,

I think. Yeah, no, fair enough actually. No, I think we've done and dusted that. On Valentine's Day. On Valentine's. I've been married for 20 years. My husband has never

shown me a pay slip or his bank account. Over the last two years, this has really started to bother me. Weird that it started to bother you over the last two years. Yeah, what about the first 18? Yeah, were you busy with the kids? And you're like, oh, he'll deal with the money. And now the kids are grown up.

You're like, where is all that money? She said, I gave him an ultimatum. If he didn't come clean where his money went, then we are done. He gave me quick access to the bank account and then blocked it again, saying it was an internet security risk. I left the family home seven months ago, but I am still with him. He still won't show me do I call it quits once and for all.

That's so strange to me. Like if you've been married for 20 years and you've got kids. Yeah. All the money is just everyone's. He's doing dodgy stuff. Like it's pretty obvious he's doing dodgy stuff. Surely if you're that weird about it. And what are the options of dodgy stuff? Cheating.

So he's supporting a second family. Collecting motorcycles. Collecting motorcycles. Gambling. He could be gambling the money. What else? That's what he'd be doing. Saving up to buy her a really nice retirement gift.

Yes, for 20 years. Saving for 20 years. I don't know. What is the reason? I'd love to hear his reason as to why he doesn't want to tell her. And, I mean, I can't think of many good ones. Can't think of good ones. It made me think, if you're in a long-term relationship with somebody,

should you know how much money they earn? Like, when I say long-term relationship, you live together and you've been together for, I don't know, five plus years. Do you think you should know how much money that person earns? I think it depends on where the relationship is. Like, if you're purchasing a house, then yes. If you're having a child together, then yes. Yeah, you need to know how much food you can afford.

You know what I mean? Like all those big things. If you're making any big considerable purchases together, then yes. And probably if you're getting married, then yes. But what if you just want to do fun stuff together, like pre-COVID go travelling and stuff like that? You want to know how much money they've got, right? So that you can plan the activities accordingly.

You can go, you don't want to set up a date which is super expensive, which they won't be able to do. Yeah. And vice versa. Like if they're balling out rich, you want to like, you know. Get some of that pie. Babe, you should shout me dinner under the Eiffel Tower. I just think it's so strange.

Imagine they've been married for 20 years and they're about to have a conversation. She goes, oh, like, so how much money are you earning at the moment? He goes, secrets. Weird. That's dodgy. Bree and Clint. What the hell are we doing on this show for the next few weeks? Something we've never done before.

Here's your cryptic clue. Ooh, I do love the sultry sounds of jazz. It's nice, isn't it? It's very nice. I'm trying to get more jazz on the show for a long time. Yeah, we've been trying to implement it. It doesn't fit the target demo, apparently. We're giving you a chance to guess it.

And if you are the first person to guess it correctly, you'll be the first person in the drawer for the thing that is happening. For the thing. Okay, let's go to the phones. Colette is here. Hi, Colette thing. Okay, let's go to the phones. Colette is here. Hi, Colette. Hi, Colette. Hello.

Hello. What are your thoughts, Colette? Colette, very cryptic. I have a feeling it might be speed dating. Ooh, okay. Okay, speed dating. Because of the sound of the cars zooming past and the fancy music, is that why?

Yeah. And if it was speed dating, would you want to go speed dating? Is that why you're calling us? No, I kind of missed that bit. So you're hoping it's not speed dating? Okay. Well, we can confirm it's not speed

dating, Colleen. Good guess, though. Because, I mean, jazz does have that feeling, you know, of speed dating. The lights are low. Let's go to Mel. Hi, Mel. Hi, Mel. Hello. How are you? to Mel. Hi, Mel. Hi, Mel. Hello, how are you? Good, thank you, Mel.

Do you have any thoughts on what we might be doing? Well, firstly, I just have to say how I loved that music. I loved it. I loved the whole track that you guys played. The jazz, jazz music. It just brought back so many feelings and emotions from past. Mel, do you want to see some more jazz on the Bree and Clint show? I do, I think. You know, it was really cool, really cool to the end of the school run.

We'll put that forward. What do you think we're doing? Oh, no, you're talking, right, okay, she's talking about Dr. Dre. Oh! You're talking about Dr. Dre that we played earlier. It's a great track. But I mean jazz, also good. Jazz, what are we doing next week?

What was the clue about? Oh, well, I'll tell you what, I heard the toot toot and the, just the whole thing and I have to say a car.

You think we're giving away a car? Yeah, I think it's really good and I think, yeah. That's a massive prize. We've never done that before so I guess it fits that bill.

And guess what, Mel? What? You're absolutely right. Winner Honda Jazz with ZM's Bray and Clint. We're giving away a car, baby. And guess what, Mel? You just won the first spot in the draw.

That's so exciting. As of next week, the Bray and Clint show has a 2021 Honda Jazz EHEV Lux to give away. This is a brand new car from Honda, and it's very cool as well. That sounds amazing. Nice work, Mel. Do you need a new car, Mel? Well, I'll tell you a quick story, okay, this morning. My husband, we all were late.

I was dropping the kids off. I had the boot up to put everything in the boot. My husband had his work truck, like a tupper truck. He was up the drive. I had the boot open. We were all pretty much rubbing sleepy dust out of our eyes. We hopped in the car and we heard a massive crack. He had reversed back and totally ripped the boot off my car.

No! Oh, my gosh. This is meant to be. What are the chances, Mel? The day that happens, you go in the draw for a brand new Honda Jazz. Yeah, and I'm so excited. I feel like I already won it. Okay, well, best of luck.

Okay, hopefully we'll be talking to you again soon. From Monday next week, we'll have loads of chances for you to get in the draw to win this car. Plus, you can get a second chance at winning our Honda Jazz if you go into any Honda store now in New Zealand and test drive one of the Hondas. Honda will prioritise your safety with all test drive cars,

fully sanitised and contactlessly test driven available on request. Oh my God. I'm so excited. I've always wanted to give away a car on this show and we've got a bloody great one. They say you haven't made it as a radio show

until you've given away a car, right? Exactly. So finally we've arrived. This is our moment. Finally. It took four years. It took us four years, but we're here. From Monday, everybody, Monday week,

we'll be giving away a brand new Honda Jazz. Thanks to Honda. Bree and Clint. Look, I've been watching a bit of Netflix at the moment. Yeah. And something that's popped up on my Netflix yesterday that I haven't seen for a while was that show Love is Blind. We watched the first season of that, eh?

They were the weirdest people. It is a very strange show. That's the one where they have like a room full of dudes on one side of the building. Yeah. And a room full of girls on the other side of the building and they go into these rooms where they can't see each other, right? So they go into these pods and they date everyone but through a wall

so they can't see each other, hence the name Love is Blind. So they have to date each other for I don't know how long they do it for. It's real blind dating. I think it's quite a few weeks. Maybe we should do it. Maybe we for. It's real blind dating. I think it's quite a few weeks. Maybe we should do it. Maybe we should set up our own blind dating, actual blind, literal blind dating. Can we get it done in one night though?

Yeah, it's a bit long. A bit long. Anyway, so they do this for a number of weeks and then it's so hectic. They have to propose to someone if they feel like they're the one and there's a connection and then they go on a honeymoon. Reality TV's a show over the top, eh? And then they get married and then it's a disaster. They're like, commit to this.

Same with Married at First Sight. Commit to this stranger for the rest of your life. Yeah, I know. It's just, it's wild. Anyway, I decided to start watching season two and I was just cringing the whole time. Yeah. Because I'm just like, I don't get it. But maybe it's because I haven't been in the whole time because I'm just like,

I don't get it. But maybe it's because I haven't been in the experience. I don't know. Sure. But anyway, there's this one couple, this one particular scene that caught my attention yesterday where there's this new couple that have been dating through the pods and then they've, you know, they've gotten engaged

and they go on this honeymoon. And it's like one of the first nights that they're obviously spending together. And they're in the bathroom, and they're both brushing their teeth. And it's this conversation that happens when they're brushing their teeth. And it's mainly what the guy says. So we've grabbed the audio, and you take a listen. So I've been making my own toothpaste for seven years.

Baking soda, coconut oil, sometimes charcoal. Can you smell it? Yeah. I put some peppermint essential oil in there. It's great.

Does this toothpaste smell like toothpaste to you? Correct. I'm just saying. It does smell like toothpaste. I'll give you that. I know it does. I know what I'm doing.

All natural. I make my own body wash too. It doesn't shock me at all. I'm for sure going to switch out his toothpaste with real stuff. There's no way he's going to continue on with that. It tastes so bad. I don't know how his breath doesn't smell. He makes his own toothpaste.

And he has done for seven years. Seven years. Hear me out. Teeth are a funny thing, eh? Because I'm pretty sure you need like fluoride and stuff. Like, is he adding the stuff that his teeth need to stay healthy? I don't think so. Or is he just putting a bit of peppermint in there and hoping for the best?

Did you hear he also mentioned he makes his own body wash? Yeah, I'm with her. That doesn't surprise me. After knowing he makes his toothpaste, I'm sure he would make body wash and shampoo. But it's so interesting because he pulls out this little container where he obviously makes it. And I'm like, the first thing I think about is, so how do you get it out of there? Are you sticking your toothbrush in there every time and scooping it out?

I went away from work a few weeks ago and I needed a travel toothpaste to take away. And my wife, she was going to the supermarket, but she wasn't going to the regular supermarket. She was going to that fancy organic supermarket. Yes. And I said,

can you grab me a toothpaste? Oh, you don't want toothpaste from there. They only had the natural toothpaste. Oh, no. It doesn't feel like it's doing anything. No. Like it just, it's like,

all it is, you know what it is? It's just lubricant for the brush. Yeah, that's it. Just so the brush will glide over your teeth. It's like natural deodorant. Look, I'm all for the natural thing and the environment. I'm all for that.

But there's some things that haven't been, you know, they haven't been mastered yet. And natural deodorant and toothpaste, I don't know about it. Do you make anything yourself? Do you have any homemade things that most people would store by? You know, we make the family cloth. The reusable toilet paper. Yeah.

That's a thing in our household. You do not. Have you seen that's come back? Family cloth? Yeah, there was a story about it in the news the other day. Yeah. Because we talked about it years ago. Everyone at the parliament protest is using it. They probably aren't. I don't think. But the family cloth, does that count as making something?

I guess it does. Yeah, yeah. I want to ask people this afternoon because this guy, you know, didn't look like someone, he just looked like your everyday Joe Blow. He didn't look like an inventor or, you know, someone who was an expert. Yeah. But I want to know from people on 0800DIALZM, what do you make of your own?

Yeah. I had a go at making my own peanut butter for a while. Did you? How'd that go? Awful. I made my own sourdough starter. Oh, yeah. Does that count?

Yeah, I guess it does. Yeah. Bread's pretty. Mate, it's 2022. We've been making our own bread for two years now. Hey, hey, hey. It's not just any old bread. Yeah.

It's a sourdough starter. Well, bread doesn't count. I don't want any calls about bread. Okay. It's a sourdough starter. The bread doesn't count. I don't want any calls about bread. Okay. 0800 dials at M or you can text us on 9696. What do you make of your own? The things that everybody else usually just buys. Yeah.

You're getting nifty. Get on the line. Kia ora, this is Toby Mann. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians, with me, Annabel Leigh-Mather and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous.

It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea. But you, I reckon, will love it. Gone By Lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. Brian Clint. The TV show Love Is Blind. Season two's out on Netflix I mean Is it worth watching you started it? Is it really worth watching?

Nah Nah, I didn't think so It's a good background watch Yeah, okay, one of those There's too much good stuff at the moment There is, I mean Waste your time A lot better stuff that you could be watching

But I got sucked in And one of the couples They're on their honeymoon and the guy said this. So I've been making my own toothpaste. No. Seven years. Baking soda, coconut oil, sometimes charcoal. Can you smell it?

Yeah. I put some peppermint essential oil in there. It's great. Does this toothpaste to you? Correct. I'm just saying. It does smell like toothpaste. I'll give you that. I know it does. I know what I'm doing. All natural. I'm a well body wash too. It doesn't shock me at all.

I'm for sure going to switch out his toothpaste with real stuff. There's no way he's going to continue on with that. It tastes like that. I don't know how his breath doesn't smell. If I had just married a stranger, I wouldn't put all of me on display straight away. I'd ease certain things in. You'd drip feed it.

Yeah, homemade toothpaste. Drip feed. Save that for the home visit. Oh, but that's hard to get away from because they're staying in the same room. No, I'm just saying just suck it up and use regular toothpaste for a couple of weeks. Oh, gotcha.

Unless he's passionately anti-regular toothpaste because he had anti-toothpaste. He's like real against it. I don't know. We're asking you guys this afternoon on 0800DIALSATM, is there anything that you make for yourself? Do people think you're a bit weird for doing it? Yeah.

You know? People are like, why are you making that? You can just buy it. Francois is here. Kia ora, Francois. Hi, Francois. Hi. With a strong South African name like that,

I'm going to assume it's some kind of dried meat that you're making for yourself. For sure. And you would be correct. There it is. Oh, Francois. You know my household, Francois, we actually got into the biltong making business.

Were you selling it? No, no. Built on making. We weren't selling. Oh, okay. And it was actually so interesting. The first batch, though, I will say, inedible.

So what's the secret? It's all family recipes and I suppose when you grow up with it, you know what works and what doesn't and it just gets passed on from household to household. There's a lot of different recipes but obviously your family recipe

would be yours. Secret is probably just proper preparation. Is there always some kind of meat hanging up and drying and ageing in your house, Francois? Well, the current price is not always, but most often. Yeah, we had to get rid of ours because my dog

would just sit there and watch this hanging meat and she would just torture for her dog. There was torture. Amy's here. Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy. Hello. How are you?

Good. What are you making for yourself? It wasn't me. It was my grandfather. He worked at a tannery which shut down, I believe the story went, and he acquired a lot of chemicals that you probably couldn't get your hands on otherwise. Oh, yeah? Okay.

And I remember he'd make his own chemicals for his photography darkroom, but he did used to make toothpaste and soap, which were terrible. So he couldn't sell it. I thought when you said he acquired a lot of chemicals, I thought you were going to say, yeah, have you seen that show Breaking Bad?

That was about my granddad. I was like, whoa, this is a great story. That's quite cool though. He's full mad scientist. Was he making soaps and toothpastes out of the chemicals from the tannery? Who would know? All I know is that my brother and I, I remember us pooling pocket money one year when we were down there

for the holidays and walking to the local shop to buy some toothpastes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Granddad's freaking explosive toothpaste. That is brilliant. Ellie's here as well. Oh, Elle. Hi, toothpaste. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want Grandad's freaky, explosive toothpaste. That is brilliant. Ellie's here as well. Oh, Elle. Hi, Elle.

Hi, Elle. Hi, how are you guys? Good, thanks. Is there something that normally people buy but you make yourself? Yeah, look, let me prove it's possible that I do not do this anymore. I am V-Dro, but I used to be one of those really full-on vegans, and I decided that I wanted to make my own shampoo, my own toothpaste, my own body wash,

my own body wash, my own deodorant, my own washing powder. Oh, my God. It wasn't good. I was six months without washing my hair without a proper shampoo or conditioner. I was using baking soda and apple cider vinegar. I needed an intervention because not only did I look bad, I also

smelt bad. The deodorant's not good making it yourself, is it? No, no. Not at all. Wow. Did you have feedback from a dentist or anything like that after you went so long of not using it? Because I'm all for natural alternatives too. I think it's

a good thing if you know how to do it. And you've got quality ones. But if you're a good thing if you know how to do it. Got it quite right. And you've got quality ones. But if you're just some radical vegan who's decided to do it yourself, Elle, were there any side effects? No.

Like, I had braces on during the time and my braces came off and he said I had the whitest teeth he'd ever seen. So I don't know, maybe there was

something good in there but it wasn't, it didn't feel good look or smell clean at all. Can I ask, Elle, what was the point? Because obviously, but what was the point where you were like, I need to do something about this? I hadn't seen a friend in like a year and she saw me and just went,

oh, wait, I was about to curse. She was just like, babe, what the hell? F is going on. Yeah, and she just said to me, you look bad and smell bad. And I went home, bought some supermarket shampoos and washed my hair, and I felt a million times better and threw all that other crap out. I was going to say, how good was that first hair wash? Oh, yeah.

Imagine not washing your hair for six months and then the first hair wash. And how good was it not smelling like a foot anymore? Like a homeless man. Time to play Guess That Voice. Bespoke intros now for our game. So good. We'll go head tohead guessing celebrities' voices. All you've got to do is pick the winner and score some KFC chicken dollars.

Andrea's here. Hi, Andrea. Hi, Andrea. Hello. How are you guys? Good, thank you, mate. You'll be on my team. I'll be playing for you.

So let's hope I can get you the KFC. I reckon it'll be a great Valentine's present for the husband. Great idea. A bouquet of chicken. April, do you want to be my Valentine? Oh, absolutely. Thank you. Well, I'll see if I can get us some chicken tonight, baby.

Amazing. That's kind of hot. I thought so too. I feel weird. I thought so too. No, me and April are into it. I feel real weird. You're the third wheel.

Anastasia runs the game. Hi, Anastasia. Hi, guys. So Guess the Voice is a game where we'll play a famous person's voice. This week it's female actresses. Or actors, sorry. The first person to buzz in with the correct name will win their team a point. First to three points wins.

Okay, cool. Here we go. You guys ready for voice number one? We are ready. Let's go. We've had some television. My favourite actress of all time, Mery Here we go. You guys ready for voice number one? We are ready. Let's go. We've had some television. My favourite actress of all time, Meryl Streep. She's done it.

People run from the stage. They said Tom Hanks and he seemed like ready to go. Oh, now I hear it. Right, okay. I would have hoped you'd got that, so well done. I don't even know how I got it, but happy with that. All right, next is another very famous actor. I brought a gift.

You know, I... Putt! That's Jennifer Aniston. Oh, that one's an angel! Being paint by numbers and ordered a painting. Here's the painting. So it was a frog. Her voice is so distinctive.

Yeah. It's a TikTok trend at the moment to impersonate it. Is it? Yeah. Let's hear yours. Oh, Ross! Oh, shit. No, I don the moment to impersonate it. Is it? Yeah. Let's hear yours. Oh, Ross. Oh, shit. No, I don't want to play this game anymore.

Okay, let's hear voice number three. You fell asleep? Cut that. Put that on TikTok for the trend. That was good. All right, next one. Voice number three. Like a moisturising...

Sofia Vergara. Correct. That is natural. You can put it in your hair, in your face, in your eyelashes, in every... Nice. This is such a close game. Don't know what she was talking about there, but... She doesn't make her own shampoo.

She's a spokesperson for Head & Shoulders. Is she? Yes. There you go. She makes dandruff sexy. Eva Longoria is for a hair dye company. Yes. Nice and easy. Yeah a hair dye company. Yes. Nice and easy.

Yeah, maybe. Nice and natural. She filmed that from lockdown, you can tell. Did she? Pretty good considering. Do you really believe Eva Longoria dyes her own hair? No, but for the ad, for the purpose of the ad, maybe. All right, and with that, let's hear celebrity number four.

It was fun. I got to ride a horse, learn to waltz. Clint. Is that the buzzer? Is that my name? Yeah. That's Hermione Granger. That's Emma Watson.

Well done. And then I had singing lessons. And then rehearsals. Yeah, that's Hermione. All right, we're sitting at tie break. This is the winner. I'm just checking with my date. April, are you still there?

Oh, I'm so excited. Hey, baby, I've almost got us this chicken. Oh, that has just made me throw up in my mouth. Any words of encouragement for me? Andrea, I really need to win so I can shut this down. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. One more.

Let's hear the fifth voice. No, I just, we would watch you at home and I'd be like, gosh, will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Hmm. Maybe not. And you did. Will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Maybe not. Oh, is it Nicole Kidman? She's done it.

And now I did. I knew it was an Australian actress. I was tossing up between her and, what's her best friend's name? Tom Cruise. Naomi Watts. But then I was like, they wouldn't pick Naomi Watts for this game. Sorry, April, I couldn't do it for us. Thank God, April, I saved you from that hideous date that you were going to have to go on. I guess I'll go for a salad then.

Andrea, there's 50 KFC chicken dollars coming your way. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm going to leave them up five. Oh, that is a Valentine's Day in November. You enjoy that for Valentine's Day, Andrea. You're welcome, mate. I've had a very good Valentine's Day so far.

Have you, Jess? Yes. I was very lucky that my two, is it two biannually? No, two. Biannual means twice a year. Oh, I don't get them twice a year. So, once every two years? Once every two years.

There's no cool way of saying it, is there? I think that might also be biannual. Biannual? Once every two years. Once every two years. I was very lucky that it landed on Valentine's Day. I had to go in for my pap smear this morning. Oh, what a lucky girl.

What a treat for me. Most action I've seen on Valentine's Day for a while. I was going to say, now I know it's not a comfortable experience, but some people would love some action down there on Valentine's Day. It was very exciting for me. But I have an amazing doctor. I really, really like her and she's so lovely, but I haven't seen her. Is this the same doctor that asked to do your pap smear on Zoom?

No, so that was the receptionist. The receptionist didn't know what appointment I was going in for and then my doctor wasn't there and she's like, do you want to do it over the phone? And I was like, it's a pap smear. Might be a bit hard to do over the phone. Anyway, I went in. I haven't seen my doctor for ages just because I haven't been

for quite a long time. Yeah. And she's always just so lovely and she's so good at doing the pap smears. Like she just makes you feel real comfortable. She's got a neck for it. Yeah, she's just got a neck for it, you know. She's done a few in her day, I think.

Yeah. And it was quite interesting because it's been so long since I've had one. I forgot the way she approaches it. So obviously she likes to talk you through it as she's doing everything because it can be quite scary. Sure. You know, especially for people that haven't been before.

So she likes to tell you everything that she's doing. And I noticed at one point she was talking to my cervix. What? She was like, all right, cervix, it's you and me. Let's get this thing done. All righty. All right. A little bit of a pinch.

A little bit of a scrapey, scrapey cervix. But then it was – How did your cervix like that? Loved it. Right, okay. It likes being addressed. Because about time that she got some attention, you know. But it was at the point, I swear she was like kind of singing a song, like during the whole process.

And I'm pretty sure she was singing Islands in the Stream. Really? Yes. But I think she was replacing Islands in the Stream with Servix in the stream, that is what we are. No one in between. How can we be wrong? It was actually a great experience for me. Really?

Yeah. I'm being legit. She does a pep smear remix of the Islands in the Stream song. All right, Servix. We're going to get through this together. remix of the Islands in the Stream song. Islands in the Stream That is what we are Alright Servix We're going to get through this together. It's only you and me

here We're going to get this done. Yeah. The weird thing about that song too is it's a duet so she's probably

hoping that you would join in with her. Wouldn't that be weird? That would really put it back on her wouldn't it? That would really put it back on her, wouldn't it? That would be a real exciting Valentine's Day. Look, this is hard because now that we're here in this situation, if you haven't heard this before, we used to do this last year

where we'd get you on to tell us mind-blowing stories. Yeah. Stories of coincidence or just outrageous, like just crazy stories that are so hard to believe. And if you got the thumbs up from us, you would get an explosion. You would have blown our minds. But if you didn't, then you would be farted out. I said to you last week,

mate, I think I've got a story. You want to put yourself out there. For Mind Blown Mondays. Are you willing to give this a go? And now that we're here, I'm second guessing it. Okay, so the issue is there's no middle ground. No.

You either blow my mind. It's one or the other. And you made me swear that if any story doesn't quite blow my mind or our mind, it has to be farted out. In saying that, I believe in you. And I know you've been sitting on this for a couple of weeks, this story. Look, okay, let's just give it a whirl. Give it a whirl.

So background, obviously I have a dog named Whitney Houston who's featured on this segment before, but it's not about her today. But about, I want to say, a year ago, and I don't know if you guys remember this, but about a year ago I was walking Whitney around our local park and the soccer fields around near our place. Yeah. And I noticed this dog.

I thought it was a stray dog. Well, it was a dog that was lost and it was running around this, you know, field. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, look at that dog. Anyway, so I've managed to catch this dog because it had no collar on. He looked real scared, real lost. He was quite small. He was a miniature pincer.

Okay. Anyway, so I've grabbed this dog. I've scooped him up and I've took him home. real lost he was quite small he was a miniature pincer okay anyway so i've grabbed this dog i've scooped him up and i've took him home anyway my partner and i were like what are we going to do with this dog we need to take him to the vet and see if he's microchipped so we can get him home to you know his owners because we'd be worried sick anyway so we got him to the vet and at first they couldn't find the microchip they eventually found it it and the owners came to the vet and picked him up. Wonderful.

So we never saw him again. No. Right? That was about a year ago. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we were looking after our friend Dan's dog, which is a German pincer. So it's like bigger than a miniature pincer,

but they look exactly the same. So we've been babysitting our friend's dog so which is very rare we never babysit this dog so we went to the our cafe that was um a little bit a ways from our house i'd say probably a 10 minute 15 minute drive yeah and we went to this cafe and we had um our dog and this other our friend's dog boeing and we're walking these dogs and there was this guy sitting out the front of this cafe and he says to us, he goes, oh, what kind of dog is that? And we go, oh, it's a German Pinscher.

And he goes, oh, I've got a dog that's exactly like that dog. Yeah. And we go, really? And he goes, yeah, but mine's like a little one. And he goes, anyway, that was it, end of conversation. Anyway, we go back to our car and then we turn around and then he's like, here he is here. And we went and said hello to this dog and I was like,

I've seen this dog before. That dog that we ran into this guy at this cafe, that dog had been in our house. So that was the dog that you found? Yes. Okay. So I've got to clarify a couple of details. Were you at a cafe in your neighbourhood?

I would say it's a couple of suburbs over. Okay, all right. And I want to give it to you. I really want to give it to you. If we didn't have... Give me a twist. Give me a twist. Give me the serendipitous thing that...

So the serendipitous thing is... Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we weren't looking after our friend's dog that looks exactly like the dog that we found. Which was the conversation starter. Which was the conversation starter with the guy at the cafe which we had found his dog a year earlier and that dog had been in our house. But if we didn't have that dog with us at that exact time.

Yeah. Look, I'm not going to be mad. I just thought, I mean mean it's a pretty big coincidence yeah yep oh god this is so much pressure on me i mean would you get would you give this to you no no you can't ask me you can't ask me that's not how it is so the guy didn't recognize what do you mean we never met the guy. Yeah. We only met his dog. We'd never seen him before. I love you and I'm happy for you.

Oh, mate. You said you wouldn't be mad. You bought that Average's coincidence story. You said you wouldn't be mad. You said you wouldn't be mad. You were like, oh, remember? You said you wouldn't be mad. And then the song started playing on the iPhone, and it was amazing.

And we were thinking about that name. You bring that story, and you just farted me out. You ran into the dog that you found. No, we didn't run into the dog. We didn't see the dog. He didn't have the dog with him. We had to go back to his house, and then we were- Oh, I find it too hard.

I've cancelled this game. I hate this game. It's too much pressure. No, we're playing it. Are we playing it? Are we going to put it out there? Yeah. Right, okay.

We're giving it a go. All right. If you think you've got a story, and you know what? I'm running the show. Because Clint, he doesn't know what he's talking about. If you think you've got a story that is mind-blowing, of coincidence, just an incredible story. Call us now. 0800 dials at M.

I mean, look. And like Brie, you've got to promise not to get mad, even if you do get mad afterwards. Well, I am a little bit mad. 0800 dials at M. Try and blow our minds. Come on. What have you got? Call us. It's not easy. Brie and Clint. It's a mind blowing Monday, everybody.

It's back. And I've had time to reflect on my decision. We were having our first fight of the year, weren't we? And I've decided to change my mind. I believe that you... You heard some other intricate details. I don't think I fully grasped the gravity of the situation. I didn't tell it very good.

I think it was your fault. I don't think you told the story properly. So I would like to retract the fart and offer you a celebratory... And I'll tell you why. Okay, tell me why. Because the dog found you once upon a time and then almost a year later, the human found you.

Yes. The dog found you without the human and the human found you without the dog. And what I think you should do is you should strike up some form of relationship with that person because the universe is obviously trying to bring you two together. I thought you were going to say I should go steal the dog.

That would be a relationship. Yeah. Well, your relationship with the person or the dog. So, apology accepted. Okay, good. What? Harry's here. Hi, Harry. Hi, Harry.

Are you willing to put yourself on the line like this? You've seen what it does to people, like when they get farted out sometimes. It's quite hard to take. Are you willing to attempt to blow our mind this afternoon? Yes, yes I am. And you're very aware of the fact you could get farted out like I did. Everyone

loves a good fart. It'll be fine. Who doesn't? All right, Harry, we want a hot 45-second story. Go for it. All right. I'm from Mount Maunganui, and I was a dog groomer. And on the way to work one day, I was driving along and crossing a bridge,

and there's a pot of dolphins just on the left-hand side of the bridge. So me and my partner thought, oh, well, I guess we're going to miss our first appointment and watch the dolphins. You know, how often does that happen? So we're sitting there watching the dolphins, and then we look across, and there's a very rare breed of dog called a legato. And we look across, and we talk to the lady and say, oh, we're supposed to be grooming one of those right now. And she looks at us and goes, funny that.

I'm supposed to have my dog groomed right now. Turned out that was our client, and we just spent the whole rest of the, I think the next two or three hours just sitting there talking about our dogs and watching the dolphins. Did the dog get groomed? Absolutely. Did the dog get groomed? Actually, no, not that day.

It ended up getting rebooked another week. And it was a rare dog. It was. Yeah, right. It's called a legato. Yeah, yeah. Legato, okay, okay. I mean, if you're farting out my story.

I need a... I needed a twist for me. I love the dolphins. In Mount Monganui, like, I mean... Yeah. It's big, but it's not... Yeah. ...gigantic, and I mean, it's a rare dog,

so it's likely that if you saw one of them, probably was that dog you were meant to be... Probably the only one in the town that I live in. Yeah. Which I think in your mind adds to it in the explosion way. And in my mind, I was like, well, of course it was that dog. It has to be that dog. Because it's very rare, you know?

Okay, love you, Harry. Thank you for kicking off Mind Blow Monday. We'll talk to you soon. Oh, he had a good attitude. I need to be more like him. We're on the same page, though, eh? We're on the same page. Yeah, on the same page.

Okay, good. Charlie's here. Hi, Charlie. Hi, Charlie. Hi, how's I need to be more like him. We're on the same page, though, eh? We're on the same page. Yeah, we're on the same page. Okay, good. Charlie's here. Hi, Charlie. Hi, Charlie. Hi. How's it going? Bloody tough audience today. Audience being us.

People are hostile here, Charlie. Do you think you can do it? I've got another animal story, and I'm sorry, Bree, but I think it might be slightly better. Okay, good. Good. We hope so. Hey, Charlie, it needs to be, because mine got farted out, so keep that in mind. Give it some pace, Charlie.

Give us your story nice and quick. So my partner and I were looking for a cat, and we knew we wanted a kitten. I was a Kiwi living in Melbourne at the time, and I was really keen to call it Matilda just because I loved the name, and I played soccer in New Zealand, so I thought there was an appropriate connection there. Because the Australian soccer team has called them Matilda.

Is that right? In Australia. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. They will know. And so we found a lady on Gumtree, we went into her house, she was this typical cat lady. All she knew is that we wanted a female kitten, so she walked

into a door, into a bedroom, came out with this little thing in her hand, and she goes, this is the one for you. Her name's Matilda. Had you shared any information that you were looking for a cat called Matilda? Only we wanted a female kitten. But nothing about the name?

Nothing. And the words she used to you were, this is the cat for you, this is Matilda. She said, I've got a cat for you and then walked down the hallway and then when she went in and came out she goes, this is Matilda. She said, I've got a cat for you and then walked down the hallway and then when she went in and came out, she goes, this is Matilda. Oh! Pretty good.

Because that would get you. Because the woman went down and picked the cat and then how many different names could there be for that cat? Pretty good, I think. So Harry's on the other line at the moment going, what, how's that any different to the Lugano on the beach?

Harry's like, screw you guys. It's a gut feeling. And Charlie, you know what? You got it. Okay, well done. And you know what, Charlie? Can I add something else that just happened just then when you took Harry's call? Yeah.

We're now living in New Zealand, obviously, but we have a golden retriever called Harry. Well, that's pretty good, yeah. You should have really left it on the... No, fart her out for that one. Love you, Charlie. Thank you very much. And Charlie, I will say,

your story was better than mine. Brayden's here to take us out. Hi, Brayden. Come on, Brayden. G'day. We've got one fart, one explosion. We need an explosion for the win today. Pace is your friend here.

Get into it, Brayden. Blow our minds. Sweet as. So two years ago, me and my partner bought a house. And the day we were moving in, we were just clearing out the wardrobes. It was bugger all in there. And then we found a telegram in the wardrobe, and it was from 1976. What the hell?

Yeah, and the address that it came from was the exact same house that my stepbrother had just bought. And then the moment we found the telegraph, he actually walked in the door to surprise us for a visit, and it was quite spooky and coincidental. Creepy! Creepy! I've got full-body goosebumps. Well, that's so creepy.

My ears are standing on end hearing that. It's almost hard to, like, talk about it, because I always, like... You had it... So spooky. You had it when you told us that you'd bought this house, it was new to you, you found a telegram, it was from your brother's address,

and then the bit where your brother walks in at the end? I was just... Yeah, my partner looked at me down the hallway and said, what address, because his name's Jacob. She's like, what address does Jacob live at? And I was like, oh, I don't know. And then, as I said, I don't know, he just walked in the door, and I was like, I'll ask him.

My mind was blown when you said you found a telegram. My mind was blown when you said you were able to buy a house. Hey, Brayden, well done, mate. Good stuff. That's bloody good. Nice work, Brayden. Nice work. And one last question.

Is the house haunted AF? Bree and Clint. Hey. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Bree and Clint's Birthday Banger. It's Birthday Banger where we find out the number one song on your 16th birthday. We put all three of those head to head and then we play the very best one.

All right, let's get into it. Let's start with Jay. G'day, Jay. What's up? How are you guys? Good, mate. How are you? I'm good.

Done work for the day, so I'm happy. How good. We love that. Well, let's top it off. What's your birthday? 22nd of May, 1996. All right. You were 16 in 2012.

And on the 22nd of May, your 16th birthday, this was number one. R.I.P. to the world you do see. Oh, Tiger's Mrs. I want a better way to aura. Tiger's Mrs. Oh, I was a bit of Rita Ora. Tiger's Miso. Do you like this, Jay? Rita Ora? Yeah, I love Rita Ora.

She's amazing. Yeah. I think that's a banger. He's here in Auckland at the moment. Is he? Yeah, yeah. He was out partying last week. I don't think Rita came with him.

Oh. He's here by himself. Good one, Jay. Okay, wait there. We'll do one for Rose. Kia ora, Rose. Hello, Rose. Hi.

How are you? I'm all right. Just all right? Yeah, it's been a busy day. Oh, fair enough. Well, I love, you know how I appreciate the honest answers, so I appreciate that. What's your birthday, Rose?

The 2nd of December, 92. All right, mate. You were 16 in 2008. And on the 2nd of December in 2008, this had a number one hit. Is this 2008? Yes.

Oh, man. Rose, you like a bit of Lady Gaga? No. Oh, man. Rose, you like a bit of Lady Gaga? No. Oh, no. Oh, no, Rose. That's made a stink day worse for you, hasn't it, Rose? What were you hoping? Anything but Lady Gaga.

She was the biggest thing in 2008. You know, she definitely dominated. Not often you meet someone who's not a massive fan of Lady Gaga. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. Fair enough. We'll do one more for Tissa, whose birthday is today. Happy birthday, Tissa.

Happy birthday. Thanks, guys. Does that make you a love child? I don't think it works that way. Do you have a partner? Yes. Do you get double presents? Do you get a birthday present and a Valentine's present?

Yeah, double the cards and everything. Wow. How good. And he, like, they don't skimp on anything, do they? No joint presents where it's like, you know. Nah, and it's easy for him to remember. Yeah. True that.

Or doubly bad if he forgets. Yeah, twice as bad. Okay, Tessa, how old are you? I am turning 28 today. There we go. All right, so 1994, which means you were 16 in 2010. And on this day in 2010, this was number one. Ah, yes, and replay.

You're right, Tessa? It sounds like you're in the middle of a high-speed chase. Yeah, there's an ambulance going past. Oh, right, okay. Do you like this as your birthday banger? Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, it's good. What would you pick?

Tessa, being your birthday? I was hoping for the Veronica's or something of the like. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay, we've got a tough choice to make. Gaga, Rita Ora or Ayaz? I would go for Rita Ora. Is it that Rita Ora song though?

There's other songs I like of hers way more. Let's not overthink it. Jay was right into it. He loved it. He was the only one who loved his birthday banger. It's true. It's true. I'm going, yeah, Rita Ora. Happy birthday, into it. He was the only one who loved his birthday banger. It's true. Yeah, so let's go with that. I'm going, yeah, Rita Ora.

Happy birthday, Tessa. But Jay, you're going to win birthday banger today. Congratulations. Thank you very much. I forgot this song's got Tiny Temper on it as well. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, okay. Here we go.

It's a bit of Rita Ora for you, Jay. Here's the winner of birthday banger. Brian Clint, ZM. Her days are over. Baby, she's... Bree and Clint. Of course, it's the 14th of February. It's Valentine's Day, and we have to say happy Valentine's to Mama Di.

Hi, Mama Di. Hi, Mum. Oh, happy Valentine's Day, guys. I hope you're having a great one filled with a lot of love. Will you be our Valentine this Valentine's? I'd love to be. Oh, that's nice. Or do you already have a Valentine in your husband, Big Steve?

Well, I don't think he even knows it's Valentine's Day. Maybe I'd better remind him. It's funny you say that. Yeah. How long have you two been married? 40 years. Wow. Oh, my God.

That's 40 plus Valentine's Days. How many of those do you actually remember? The good ones. The good ones. Yeah, that's a good idea. We want to conduct a bit of an experiment with you this afternoon and Big Steve. And before we do it, we need you to answer

one question honestly. Is Valentine's Day important to you, Mama Di? Yes, it is. Okay, that's all we need to know. That's all we need to know. We're now going to call Big Steve, with you on the line, and ask him the exact

same question. But Mum, you stay quiet, so he's not going to know you're here, okay? Hey, listen, I want you to tell him too that I have, I did get a Valentine's present this morning. For him or from someone else?

No, for me from someone else. What? Okay, hold on to that thought and stay nice and quiet for us. We're going to get Big Steve on the line. Hopefully we don't get that. Hello? Oh, hello, Big Steve. G'day, Dad.

G'day, guys. How are you? Bree's Dad, Big Steve. Happy Valentine's Day. To you. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day, Dad. Are we your first Valentines today?

Oh, you are. Oh. No, you're not. Hey, we're conducting a romantic experiment at the moment. Yes. And we have one question for you, okay, that we need you to answer. And we need you to answer it honestly. Is Valentine's Day important to your partner?

Oh, yeah. My word. And knowing that, have you done anything for Mama Di for Valentine's Day? Two things. Yeah. You've done two things. Here we go. First thing was, Mumma Di was babysitting the little fella

and I changed the biggest, ugliest pooey nappy for her instead of letting her do it. Was that a gift for her? Sounds like a grandad's duties if you ask me. What's the next thing? The second one, she got a nice red rose. Wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait. Was it a bought rose or did you cut it from the garden? Nah. And was it a single rose? Hang on. There's a shortage of roses in Australia. Right. There's not a shortage of roses. Chocolates, did you get her any of those? No, we're on a diet.

I'm looking after her. Right, we want to bring on our special Valentine's Day guest at this point, Mama Di. Mama Di, are you there? No. Yes, I'm here. So first of all, how do you feel that Big Steve believes that changing a pooey nappy is your Valentine's Day present?

Well, I have to tell you something else. The single rose wasn't even from him. Who was it from? He's claiming it from somebody else. Oh, the truth comes out. So who sent you a Valentine's Day rose? Jonty got me a Valentine's rose. That's their grandson.

Oh, the one who did the Valentine's poo. So you would say Jonty got both of those gifts to you. I can't believe that you claimed that rose over Jonty. That's disgraceful. The day is young. I was on the spot. I was on the spot. There is time to make it up.

Big Steve, what do you think about cooking a special Valentine's Day dinner tonight? Absolutely. All right, good. I'll do my speciality. We will check in at exactly this time tomorrow to see if you followed through, a bit like your grandson followed through on that too. No, you don't. Hey, but you know what the speciality will be?

Yeah. S-H-I-T on a stick. That's what it's going to be. We'll also be checking in tomorrow to see if there's any food poisoning that's come down. There you go. Lovebirds, 40 years married. A true representation of Valentine's Day.

Look, the Aussie Prime Minister, we've covered him off in the show a few times when he's had a bit of a stuff up at a press conference Or he's just said something stupid And it's happened again He's on the campaign trail at the moment And he was doing a press conference Where he was speaking to reporters in Adelaide And he was spruiking these different things he's doing

You know how they do that They talk themselves up And he says I'm doing this and I'm doing that. It's a classic political thing that Trump took to the extreme. He started talking up things that he wasn't doing. Yeah. And people were like, damn, you've got to give it to this guy. He knows what he's doing.

He was like, I did that. Anything amazing, he was like, I did that. Just lie and say you did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so he was talking about the funding of Adelaide's North-South Corridor, which, I mean, you don't need to know what that is because I have no idea. Sounds kinky. Doesn't it?

Anyway, we've got the audio here where it is a bit of a tongue twister, but let's see how he goes. The full financial commitment of the Commonwealth Government to this shitty city shaping. You've got to be careful with that. I mean, he's talked it down there. He's supposed to be spruiking it. He's supposed to be talking it up.

The full financial commitment of the Commonwealth Government to this city shaping. You've got to be careful with that. I like how he stopped up and then he's gone, shit. Well, to be careful with that. I like how he stopped up and then he's gone shit. Well, to be honest, I haven't met a South Corridor that wasn't a bit shitty at times. Yeah, true.

Fair. That's fair. Cheers, ScoMo. Play. ZM's Brand Clint. On Insta, Facebook, TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM.

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